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Portland, Oregon. Huge city, sprawling mass of bodies that they could sink quietly into. It was a change from the backwoods towns deep south where they usually found themselves and here, they could let their guard down.
“Let’s go to a club”
Dean looked up from the bed to meet Sam’s hopeful gaze, sitting at the table across the room.
“Did you hit your head killing that vamp?”
Sam smirked and dropped his head slightly before looking back at his brother. “It’s not everyday we’re in a big city, it’ll be fun! See some sights, get some drinks, do a little dancing…”
As Sam trailed off Dean caught on to the subtext laced in his words. A smile crept up as he got up from the bed, walking towards Sam.
“Yeah, you and me?”
Sam was grinning at this point, gazing up at Dean as he stood next to him, snaking a hand around the back of Sam’s neck.
“Like I said” whispered Sam, leaning into the touch. “Big city”
Monday you got me that's a fact
You could get me in some trouble
Talking that way and
The singe of worry prodded at Dean, but he pushed it down. Since losing Dad they’d been working non-stop, they needed the distraction and this, them , it was still new. Worry was replaced with excitement at the prospect of being able to hide in plain sight, just another couple.
It’s not long before they’re out the door and on their way to the nearest club.
*****
It was friday night and heaving, so they joined a short line outside a club just off the main strip. Dean was still on his guard, shifting his eyes across the crowd to see if anything was amiss, but was stopped short by Sam’s hand on his shoulder. He turned to look, and felt all his trepidation melt away. Those eyes were a pool of calm that washed over him, and he smiled in response before placing his arm around the back of Sam’s waist, tugging slightly and eliciting a smile from him.
They were eventually let in before the cold weather forced them to abandon their plans and Dean immediately turned to make his way over to the bar. He only managed a few steps before he felt Sam’s hand grasp his own, dragging him towards the dancefloor. Dean smiled and went along with it, still wary but willing to do anything to see that look on his brother’s face. There were plenty of gay and lesbian couples around so the more obvious concern was wearing off, and he let himself become lost in the moment.
They got on the dancefloor while a slow techno song was playing, but even the god awful music wouldn’t bring him down. Dean wrapped his arms around Sam’s waist as Sam rested his own around his neck, swaying to the beat.
“This is nice” He heard Sam say in his ear, and it was true. Just the two of them, being themselves. He leaned back and as Sam’s hands dropped down Dean clasped them together with his own, gazing up at him.
Don't throw my name 'round here like that
You could get us in some trouble
Talking that way and
“Hey, Winchester!”
Panic flooded both of them. Immediately they let go of each other and subtly reached so they had their guns close, looking around. Dean sighed, nudging Sam and pointing to the source of the voice. The surly man began walking across the dancefloor towards them as Sam began to recognise him, another hunter.
“Oh! Hey Ryan!” Dean forced out with fake positivity, purposefully avoiding looking at Sam. “What uh, what’re you doing round here?”
Ryan saunters up with a big smile and slaps Dean on the back. There was a moment of relief when they realised he didn’t seem to have seen them beforehand, but Sam could feel the stormcloud brewing over him. Just one night. All I wanted was one night.
“Hey boys! I got wind of a vamp nest ‘round here, plus some huntin’ buddies live nearby so I thought I’d check it out. Though when I went to the nest this evenin’ I just found a bunch of corpses, that got your name on it?”
“Yeah” Sam said, trying to sound happy, “took ‘em out this morning, thought we’d see the nightlife before we headed out”
“Man, where would we be without you two, eh?”
Dean glanced over at Sam, plastering on a smile as he slapped his shoulder playfully. “Gotta keep busy, you know?”
Sam was uncomfortable. He wanted to leave. He was kicking himself thinking that this could ever be a normal thing, that they could ever be ‘normal’. That word plagued him all his life, became the dream he aspired to be, now he was going out of his way to be the freak he denied he ever was. Fucking your brother. Yeah, cause that’s what normal people do.
Ryan’s voice interrupted his depressing chain of thoughts. “So, you guys busy? Got a couple others arriving soon, could make a fun night”
Sam knew what that meant and the last thing he needed was a reckless, alcohol fuelled night with other hunters. Dean looked over to Sam and simply responded, “Actually, we were ‘bout to call it a night, busy day and all, but say hi to the others for us?”
Sam glanced at Dean in surprise before turning back to Ryan, obviously disappointed. “Well, alright, thanks for the vamp work anyway, see you around?”
“Yeah, ‘course” Dean smiled as he placed his hand on Sam’s back, leading them from the dancefloor and out the club. The Oregon chill felt like a cold breath of relief to Sam’s skin as they walked out.
“You didn’t need to do that, Dean” Sam said quietly. Dean slowed, and looked up to his brother. Sam saw a flash of sadness across his face before it disappeared.
“Nah, couldn’t handle a hunter’s night out anyway, don’t sweat it”
They walked side by side back to the motel, not touching out of precaution due to the knowledge that other hunters were nearby. It hit Sam with another wave of melancholy. The journey back was silent, and it wasn’t until after both boys had showered and gotten in bed that Dean finally spoke.
“I know tonight wasn’t exactly...ideal, you okay?”
Sam didn’t respond at first, simply tucking his face into the crook of Dean’s shoulder and wrapping his arm around his waist.
“I guess, it just...puts things into perspective, is all”
The cryptic message was not lost on Dean, as Sam felt him move closer and run his hand through Sam’s hair, leaning his chin on the top of his head.
“I know, Sammy”
*****
Most days I'm keeping to myself, living in my little bubble
Throwing my weight and moving my body through the sea
Bobby had called them in the morning to tell them about a case in Ford, Washington. Back to the usual towns , Sam thought, packing up and heading out just before noon.
The drive was subdued, but Dean was obviously making an effort to cheer Sam up. He appreciated the gesture, but his mind was torturing him, replaying last night, thinking about if Ryan had spotted them at a different time, what would have happened, how he would have reacted. Freak. Freak. Freak.
It was dark by the time they pulled into the next motel. Sam waited in the car as Dean went in to book a room, and he was pleasantly surprised to see the one king size bed when they got into the room. He was kicking himself so much he forgot that Dean was in this just as much as he was. It was still a shock sometimes, as if one morning he’ll wake up and Dean will change his mind, the bubble will burst, or Dean will simply be gone.
He threw his bags down by the bed and fell face first onto the mattress.
“Sam, grab some food for us, will ya?”
Sam groaned. “Come on, I’m exhausted, can’t you?”
“Hey, who’s been driving for seven hours?”
Touché. He sighed and hauled himself up and out the door, wandering to the run-down restaurant across the road. He ordered the food and almost fell asleep on the bench while waiting. By the time he’d picked up and walked back he was ready to crash into sleep immediately.
When he opened the door, however, he was not greeted by Dean laying on the bed or sitting at the table cleaning his guns.
Instead, the room was dark, illuminated by a lamp in the far corner of the room, with soft pop music playing from the CD player built into the wall, the type that Dean would have smacked him for if he dared to play it in the car. Dean stood in the middle of the room, a cautious smile on his face.
Sam stood there, stunned, dropping the bag on the floor.
“Dean...how?-”
“Picked it up at the gas station, couldn’t get club songs but they all sound the same to me” he said with a little laugh. Sam’s face lit up into a smile as he closed the door and walked towards Dean, who had now stretched his arm out in invitation
If you ever want to join me, baby
I'll be dancing in the dark
Sam closed the gap between them, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist as he followed, placing his own around Sam’s neck. They swayed gently to the music and any thought of this being cheesy or corny were drowned by the sheer happiness Sam felt within him. Dean nuzzled into his neck, intoxicating him even more.
“What we have Sammy, it ain’t perfect, and it comes with challenges, but…”
He felt Dean sigh into him before he continued.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way”
Sam grinned and lifted his head up to meet Dean’s gaze. He pressed their foreheads together, closed his eyes and whispered.
“I love you, Dean”
He barely picked up the breathy “I love you too” response.
Dancing in the
Join me
Dancing in the
Join me baby