Chapter Text
ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ
virgin veins - coma cinema
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"Henrique!" the younger brother called.
The elder child didn't bother to look up. He kept on reading on the kitchen counter, double checking his homework just to be sure.
When his younger brother finally reached the kitchen, he took a deep breath and stayed silent.
"Brother! Look!"
The numbers seemed to blur. He wasn't really looking at them anymore. Slowly looking up, he came face to face with a drawing made with crappy crayons.
It was Antonio pointing at a cloud shaped like a hand, with him holding a sword and wearing a cape. He slowly glanced to read the words at the bottom, written with a shaky hand.
”You are heroe!"
He rolled his eyes and looked back down. He seriously cannot have a half-brother stupid enough to not spell correctly at seven years.
Henrique ignored Antonio, who left the drawing near him and went back to his room. He can still see the wound on Antonio's knee, but he paid no mind.
He looked back at his math homework.
"Brother."
As always, he didn't budge. He kept staring out the window, watching the onion farm he actually loved deep inside. When Antonio started poking his arm, his patience ran low almost immediately.
"What?!" he whisper-yelled, rolling down the car window and willing himself to calm down. Something about Antonio really pisses him off. Probably his resemblance to his mother's new husband.
"W...why are you so angry?" Antonio looked at him unsure and tense. "Why do you hate me? I said sorry about your tennis ball I lost."
"Just spit it out. What do you want?" He looked back out the window, unaffected.
"When will I come back here? Papa won't tell me," the younger boy asked, his voice tinged with innocence and curiosity.
"So you'll ask me, huh?" he said. He brought out a pillow and started leaning on to sleep. When he wakes up, it's either on the airport or never.
"Yes...? So when?"
Henrique closed his eyes. "Please don't come back. Ever, if possible."
He heard nothing of Antonio since the car conversation up until a decade or so later a.k.a the best and quietest 14 years of his life.
He may have had some thoughts of guilt, but pride is stronger than love and hate for him, just like it had always been.
"It's your soup. Dinner's ready."
"Just leave it there."
"Henrique, the soup is getting cold. Please eat."
"I said I'll eat, alright?! Go back to your room!"
"The soup, Henrique."
"¿Eres tonto o...?!"
Henrique went back to his work. His boss needed the report at twelve and he's barely halfway done. Antonio knocked again and he heard the door squeak open.
"Why don't you eat first?"
He took a deep breath, turning his chair around to the door where Antonio stood holding his tray of soup and bread. It was still weird for him to see that small kid from the onion farm now in his late teens and looking oddly similar to him. Antonio did grow up well in terms of appearance, but that won't change their relationship. He will always be useless and annoying.
Always. Fucking. Annoying.
"I told you all day to just leave the fucking food outside because I'm busy and I can't afford to stall," he said, his voice turning up louder than he intended. His anger followed his voice though, and he found himself marching to the doorway with rage.
"Henri-"
He grabbed the tray and threw it at the hallway outside, the porcelain crashing into bits and the soup spilling everywhere. Antonio stood frozen, shocked and scared. The older man collared the other and pushed him away.
"You know what? I was living fine without seeing you for years and now you had the audacity to come back and even live in my house?"
Antonio...his face...his innocence...his charm...his parents' favorite....an ASSHOLE!
"After you wasted our money on a shit car you crashed? On drugs? Dropped out of college? Who do you think you are?!"
Antonio stared at him shocked. "I didn't...do dr-"
"You know what, Antonio? Go back to Nana in Spain and just tell her you can't find my house here in Lisbon. And don't you ever return, or make me look at your face ever again!"
That snapped something in the younger man. "What in the world did I ever do to you?!" Antonio pushed him back.
He paused, watching the same rage in his brother's eyes. His fire didn't waver, though.
"You hated me all my life and now that I made the effort to come back to hopefully make amends, you still hated me?! What kind of person are you?" A tear fell from his eyes. "I've been nice to you! I didn't say anything when you pushed me down the stairs at home! When you told me to disappear! When you broke my things! When you bullied me! THIS IS STILL THE WELCOME I GET?!"
Henrique took a sharp breath and smiled unbelievably. "Oh, look who's talking?!" Antonio glared at him, quite less intimidating with a bandage still wrapped around his head. "Papa, Mama and even I was forced to work our asses off just to afford your education abroad and you crashing your car and doing drugs ARE THE THANKS WE GET!"
Antonio punched the wall to his left in anger. Henrique paused. "Oh fucking hell! This isn't even about the motherfucking car! You didn't even pay for that, Papa did! You just hated me because I existed! You're a douchebag, brother! What the fuck do I have to do just for you tO FUCKING FORGIVE ME...?!"
Antonio reached out and collared him, choking back sobs and kept his anger even with tears prickling his eyes. Henrique stared at him and in a burst of anger, said some unthinkable words.
"Die in a fire, Antonio. Maybe I'll forgive you by then."
That did it. Antonio let go of him and stepped back. He did just cross the line, haven't he? He stared him down before Antonio turned back and ran back downstairs. Henrique ignored the soup puddle and porcelain shards on the hallway and locked himself back into his room.
The next day, he woke up hungry and the guest bedroom empty.
"Antonio...?"
It dawned on him. He really crossed the line.
He found himself dialing the landline in Spain just to be sure.
virgin veins, hold the rushing pain
of a past that cannot die
crippling everything in cages of desire
the heart is a monument to a childhood of abuse
a quiet suffering that knows no one wants you
so lonely
so ugly
and confused
- virgin veins