Archive of Our Own

Louis rolled his aching shoulders as he finally stepped inside his home, proud that he was home on time after a hellish day at work. As much as Louis loved his job at the shelter, today had been the day from hell, and he couldn’t wait to leave it behind and spend the evening with his family. He kicked off his smart work shoes and slipped his blazer from his body, hanging it up on the wall rack near the front door. He loosened and pulled off his tie before undoing the buttons of his shirt sleeves, rolling them back, finally stepping into the living room.

“Hey, champ,” Louis called over to Oscar who was on his tummy on the floor, playing what looked like his favourite maths game on the family iPad. Since he’d started school two years ago, Oscar had shown a particular affinity for Maths, begging his dads to buy him some workbooks, and download every single Maths game that their school allowed them to play on their tablets in lessons. Harry and Louis had, of course, obliged, and nothing made Louis prouder than to see the concentration on his face as he worked on things way above the Year 2 curriculum. “Had a good day?”

“Yeah, I did my Times Tables Rockstars today at school, and did my threes and sixes. Mr Callahan said I got them all right.”

“Clever clogs,” Louis grinned, sitting cross legged on the floor next to his son, resting a hand on his back. “Is your sister upstairs?”

“Yep, she’s doing her home learning project. Dad’s in the kitchen, said he’s making pasta bake for tea ‘cause it’s your favourite.”

Louis smiled to himself at the thought of Harry picking up on his bad mood over the past few days, and doing something like cook him his favourite meal just to make him smile. He leaned over to kiss his son on the head, getting to his feet slowly, his back aching from a day spent hunched over his desk. He wandered through to the kitchen where Harry was stood at the worktop in one of Louis’ t-shirts, an old pair of shorts, and a headscarf holding back his ever-growing curls. He was singing away to a song playing quietly on the radio, swaying his hips, and Louis felt ridiculously endeared.

Louis tiptoed up behind his husband and swatted his bum lightly, making Harry squeak in a rather unmanly fashion, glaring at Louis afterwards before it made way for his usual smile. Louis kissed him gently, Harry returning the kiss easily, his head angled back.

“Had a better day today, Lou?” Harry mumbled as they parted, Louis hopping up to sit on the counter next to where Harry was making a homemade sauce for their dinner. Louis just shrugged until Harry looked over, a look of concern on his face. “Talk to me, come on. You know you’ll feel better if you share it with me.”

Louis sighed, realising Harry was right. They’d worked together years ago at the homeless shelter, and Louis knew Harry understood how hard the job could be. Harry was the only person in the world Louis could talk to openly without judgement, and he’d spent many nights crying into his husband’s shoulder when some of their stories had moved Louis too much.

“We just… we had a young family come in today. They reminded me of us a bit, when we first got Hope. But Haz… they had nothing. I don’t get how in this day and age this can happen. I raided the cupboards for something for their kids, and I left them with Helena to look after tonight but…”

“You can’t stop thinking about them?”

“Nope,” Louis replied. “I wish there was more I could do. I know the council will hopefully get them rehoused but even so… it’s a shitty situation for anyone, let alone kids that young.”

“C’mere,” Harry said, setting down what he was doing and walked over to Louis, standing between his spread legs for a moment. Louis nuzzled into Harry’s chest, inhaling the all-too familiar scent of his aftershave, loving how Harry’s hand was gently working its way through his hair, calming him down. “I love how much you care, do you know that?”

“Well, I just love you,” Louis easily retorted, making Harry giggle. They kissed slowly and softly until a disgusted scoff sounded from the doorway from their seven and a half year old daughter, homework book in her hands, an unimpressed expression on her face. “Hello love, how was school?”

“You know you’re not meant to sit on the worktop,” Hope chided, ignoring Louis’ question totally. “I finished my spellings, Dad, and I did a bit more on my project. Can I go and read now?”

“Of course, love. But first…” Harry nodded his head gently in Louis’ direction, and laughed when a smile spread across Hope’s face, the little girl skipping across the kitchen and into Louis’ arms. “Why don’t you go and read to Papa for a little bit? I’ll call you all when dinner’s ready.”

“Okay!”

She merrily skipped off, and Louis slid down from the worktop, pecking Harry’s cheek as he began dicing tomatoes again. 

“Thanks, babe. Always know what I need, don’t you?”

“Yep. Now go on, read with our daughter. She’s really excited about getting to free reader books at school, so I’m sure she’ll love to read tonight. Oh, and Lou?”

Louis paused from where he was now stood in the doorway, looking back at his husband with a questioning expression on his face.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Louis called before he finally drifted away, joining his daughter on the sofa. Oscar was still happily splayed on the floor so Louis left him, knowing he’d seek him out if he wanted a cuddle. “Right, what are we reading then, darling?”

“It’s called The Dragonsitter! It’s a new one from the free readers box at school, and I’m so excited to read it!”

Louis watched as she carefully folded back the cover and cleared her throat, readying herself to read.

“Chapter One…”

*****

“I’ve got it,” Louis mumbled as he dragged himself out of bed. The children had finally decided to lay in on a Saturday morning, so of course the doorbell had rung as Harry and Louis were having a bit of alone time, kissing and touching under the covers. He wriggled his boxers up his hips, picking up a t-shirt to drag on before he left the room, trying to look more awake as he got the keys from the dish, unlocking the door. “Morning.”

“Good morning, sorry to wake you, just this one needs signing for…”

Louis nodded and scrawled a messy looking signature on the device the postman handed over, nodding his thanks as he shut the front door. He frowned down at the letter addressed to Mr L and Mr H Tomlinson , the postmark not looking familiar. He crept up the stairs, hoping the children were asleep as he shut his bedroom door behind him. He joined Harry back on the bed, letter still in his hand.

“What’s that?” Harry mumbled, his voice low and raspy with sleep as he rolled back against Louis, still naked as he had been before. Louis smiled at the feel of his husband’s skin against him, and Harry pressed kisses down Louis’ bare thigh for a moment as Louis opened the letter. “Lou?”

“No idea, Haz. It’s addressed to us, lemme read it.”

Harry nodded and Louis’ tired eyes skimmed the words, eyes widening when he realised who it was from.

“Shit, it’s been forwarded by Social Services.”

Harry hurried to sit up at that, and the pair of them leaned in, trying to read everything, to work out what was going on.

“Louis… we can’t lose them…”

“They’re ours, Harry. Have been for years, darling. But this is about Oz. Uh… seems his maternal grandparents have moved back to the U.K. from where they were living in Spain, and they’d like to see him. This letter basically says it's our choice, but that his grandparents are willing to pursue legal avenues if they are denied.”

“Fuck.”

Louis read the letter from top to bottom again before he sighed, handing it over to his husband. He rubbed his hands over his tired face, trying to work out what they were going to do.

“You alright, love?” he asked, aware of the tension he could feel in Harry’s body, a marked changed from how relaxed they’d been in bed together just moments ago. “Harry, talk to me, baby.”

“I don’t like it, Lou. Oscar’s our son. We adopted him, like we did Hope. He’s ours. What if they try to take him away from us? Why do they suddenly want to know him after so long?”

“It doesn’t matter why,” Louis said gently, knowing he was the diplomatic one in these situations. Harry had always been the emotional one in their relationship, breaking down when they’d finally been confirmed as Hope’s legal guardians over seven years ago now, and when they’d received official adoption certificates for both children as well. No trace of Hope’s family had ever been found, but in the back of Louis’ mind, he’d always considered this to be a possibility since Oscar’s family were aware of his adoption after the tragic death of his parents. “Darling, they’re his blood. They can’t reverse the adoption, and it doesn’t seem like they want to, either. They just want to see him, to get to know him.”

Harry folded the letter up and passed it back to Louis before he wriggled under the covers, looking like the weight of the world was upon him now. 

“I need to think about this. I know it’s a huge decision, but I want to make the right one for our son, Lou. I mean… I always knew this was a possibility. They told us, when we formalised the adoption. But I guess I just thought that after so long with us, it wouldn’t happen. Maybe that was naive of me, but I guess I just, uh, forgot about them? He’s just… he’s my son, and this feels weird now, to know his other family wants something to do with him. Sorry, I just-”

“That’s okay, darling,” Louis interrupted, sensing Harry was getting a little overwhelmed by his thoughts. He rested his hand on top of Harry’s head. “I get it. It’s a big deal. We’ll talk about it before we make any decisions, okay?”

Harry nodded and snuggled against Louis’ side a bit more, as if he wanted to bury himself inside Louis somehow, to make them one. They only broke apart when there was a knock at their door before the handle started to lower, hushed whispers coming from the hallway. Harry wriggled some boxers up his body before he and Louis looked at each other, smiling as they listened to their children no doubt discussing whether or not they should walk into their parents bedroom, and they saw fingertips creeping around the edge of their door before a face appeared.

“Come on, both of you can come in,” Louis said with a smile. Oscar eagerly dove on top of his Papa, little arms coming up and around his neck while Hope more gracefully rounded the bed, lifting up the quilt next to Harry before she slipped inside, her head resting on Harry’s shoulder as he hugged her close. “You both sleep well?”

Oscar nodded.

“Yeah, Papa. I’m glad it’s the weekend though, want to have a good rest.”

“You’re only seven,” Harry joked, tickling Hope under the arms for a moment. “You’re supposed to have energy to run around all day long and then not want to go to bed after!”

“I do!” Oscar called, finally poking his head up from Louis’ pillow. “I want to play footie with Papa in the garden all day, and then go skateboarding at the skatepark!”

“We can do that,” Louis grinned as Harry and Hope rolled their eyes, neither of them understanding Louis and Oscar’s newfound obsession with skateboarding. Louis had always skateboarded when he and Harry were at high school, but Oscar had recently taken a shine to it, and they’d spent hours out in the small road where they lived, Louis teaching Oscar some basic moves. Now, the boy was picking it up fast and he was always eager to get Louis to take him out whenever they had time. “I’d love to, Ozzy.”

He leaned down and kissed the top of his son’s head, his soft hair brushing Louis’ nose for a minute. The room fell quiet again as they all cuddled up, bare feet and legs brushing against each other. It was a bit of a squish, especially since Hope and Oscar were getting bigger, but there was nowhere Louis or Harry would ever rather be.

“Okay, I’m getting hungry,” Harry mumbled, letting Hope climb over him before he swung his bare legs out of bed, feet hitting the plush carpet beneath him. “I’m going to make eggs for everyone, that sound good?”

The resulting chorus of “yes please!”’s from his children made Louis grin, and he blew Harry a kiss as he yanked on one of Louis’ t-shirts, scratching at his tummy before he made his way out of the room. Louis smiled and pulled his two children close as he heard Harry bang about downstairs, the sound from the radio filtering through the floor. As happy as he was, Louis couldn’t shift his thoughts too far from the letter that had arrived just a short while ago, threatening to potentially turn their lives upside down.

*****

It took a week for Harry to be at peace with making a decision about Oscar. Louis knew which way he’d go, of course he did, but still, it felt momentous to have Harry admit out loud that Oscar was going to be meeting some of his family after so long. Louis had held Harry while he’d cried, pleading with Louis not to let them take their son away, and it had ended up at the point where Louis had called their contact at Social Services, asking them to explain to Harry there was no way Oscar’s grandparents could take him away from them.

“We have to tell him, don’t we, Lou?” Harry muttered later that day as they were on their way back to Anne’s to pick up their children. Anne had asked to have them both for the day, and Harry and Louis had jumped at the chance for a little alone time, which had been few and far between lately. Louis reached across and took Harry’s hand, letting it rest on his husband’s thigh as he drove the familiar route to his mother-in-laws house. “What about Hope?”

“Well, I think she’s old enough to hear it too, if I’m honest,” Louis started. It was something he’d been thinking a lot about at work when he had a quiet half an hour or so in his office, and he’d gone so far as to make lists of the pros and cons of telling Hope the news as well. “She’s always been very open about being adopted, it might be good for Oscar to have her to talk to?”

“You’re right, as always,” Harry replied, smiling gently at his husband as he parked up behind Anne’s car. “Now I know the meeting’s set, I want to tell them. I feel like I’m keeping secrets, and not the good kind.”

Louis nodded, getting out of the car to walk around and open Harry’s door for him. Before he could step away, Harry’s arms came around his waist, holding him close for a minute.

“Sorry I’ve been a bit weird with this whole thing,” he began, earnest green eyes looking up at Louis. “I just… I’ve never been so happy, Lou. We’re settled, as a family, and I hate that something is coming along that can possibly shake all that up. We’ve always been open with the kids about being adopted, Oz has those photos in his room, but even so, this is a lot for me.”

With a slight frown, Louis shook his head, hating that Harry felt he had to apologise for his emotions. “Don’t apologise, Harry. This is a big deal. But nothing will change the fact he’s our son now. I’m sure at their age they don’t want to take on a child anyway, they just want to know him. I get that.”

“Me too,” Harry whispered, pressing his lips to Louis’ quickly before the children could see them out of the window. “Come on, let’s go in and get them. We can talk to them before we put them to bed tonight.”

Louis nodded, and held Harry’s hand as they walked up the path, both men greeted by a child slamming into them at full pelt. They’d picked them up, thanked Anne for taking good care of them and headed home, where they’d bathed the children together, laughing as Hope made a beard of bubbles on Oscar’s face, and he’d made a crown of sorts on top of his sister’s head.

Harry took Hope to get her dressed into her nightie, plaiting her hair as always while Louis wrestled his son into his pj’s, the little boy often preferring to sleep in just his pants, much like Harry did. When he was done, he took Oscar through to Hope’s room, settling the pair of them down, watching Harry fiddling nervously with his wedding ring as he glanced over to Louis, who decided to take the lead.

“Oscar, there’s something that Daddy and I have to tell you,” he began, suddenly feeling nervous himself. “And Hope, we think you need to hear this as well, to understand what’s going to happen.”

“What’s it about?” the little boy asked, his eyes flitting between his parents as his small hand slid in behind his sister’s, seeking comfort from her. “Have I been bad?”

“Never,” Harry hurried to say, taking Oscar’s other hand for a moment. “Definitely not, my love. This is…” 

Louis watched Harry take a deep breath, and decided to see if Harry would be able to talk after all.

“You know that you’re both adopted, yes?”

Both children nodded. It had been something that Harry and Louis had been open about since the beginning, it had never been any sort of shameful secret, and all of them were proud of how their family came to be.

“So Papa and I wanted you, both of you, so very much, and we could give you a home. That’s why you live with us, and we adopted you. That meant you got to stay with us forever, that we’re family.”

“We’re Tomlinsons!” Oscar called, and Harry nodded, taking Louis’ hand for a moment and squeezing it.

“Yes, we are,” Louis grinned back, proud that the three people he loved most in the world were so happy to bear his name. It was probably his favourite thing in the world, actually, to hear Harry use his married name, and to hear his children refer to themselves as Tomlinsons as well.

“Okay, so… Hope, you know that we don’t know anything about your family, don’t you, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, but I don’t care ‘cause you and Papa and Ozzy are my family,” the little girl shrugged, making Louis’ heart swell so much he thought he might burst.

“We are. But Oscar…” Harry’s eyes moved to Louis’ again for a moment, and Louis gave him a small nod, giving his husband the go ahead. “We’ve had a letter, love. It’s from your grandparents. They’re your Mum’s parents. They’d like to meet you.”

Oscar was quiet as he let the news sink in, but it was Hope who spoke first, the little girl a bit older and more curious than her younger brother.

“So are they going to take him away from us?”

“No,” Louis said, shaking his head emphatically. “You and Oscar are our children, no one can take you away from me and Daddy. They just want to see Oscar, because he’s their family too. Obviously, they lost their daughter too, Oscar’s Mummy, and he’s a part of them. That’s all. They just want to meet him. What are you thinking Oscar?”

“I don’t know,” the little boy admitted, cheeks pink now as he stared firmly at his feet, not meeting anyone’s eyes. “Are they nice people?”

“Um…” Harry began, eyes looking to Louis again. “We haven’t met them, darling. But Papa and I are going to come with you. We won’t make you do it alone. We do think this would be a good thing to do. Even if you meet them once and don’t want to do it again, it might be nice to see them, see what kind of people they are.”

“I want to cuddle my sissy for a bit,” Oscar suddenly said, and Louis nodded, getting to his feet. Hope and Oscar had a special connection that seemed to go beyond being brother and sister, and Louis trusted them implicitly to talk about this. He pulled Harry to his feet, and they kissed both of their children on the forehead before they left Hope’s room, whispers following them out of the door.

“Shit, I hated that,” Harry mumbled, resting his head against Louis’ chest once they were stood in the hallway. “What if he doesn’t want to do it, Lou? What do we do?”

“Then we have to tell them no for now. Maybe we could meet with them, explain things. I don’t want to force him into anything he doesn’t want to do, but at the same time, I don’t want to make things awkward with his grandparents. I’m not up for going to court and things.”

“Me neither,” Harry said, looking miserable. “Let’s go and have a lie down while we wait for them to chat about things.”

He took Louis’ hand and led him to their room, leaving their door open so the children knew they could just come in whenever they were ready. It didn't take long for Hope and Oscar to creep in, settling in bed between Harry and Louis, little bottoms digging into their parents stomachs. 

“I’m scared to see them,” Oscar began, and everyone fell silent, letting him speak. “But if they were my Mummy’s mum and dad, then they might be nice. And I will only go if we all go together. I want my sissy with me, ‘cause she can keep me safe.”

Louis could see Harry welling up at Oscar’s words, and he swallowed, trying not to get too emotional himself. 

“Of course, love. We can tell them that when we contact them about a meeting. And Hope, you’re okay with this, darling?”

“Yeah,” she said, stroking her brother’s head gently. “Maybe they might like me too?”

“Not a chance that they won’t,” Louis grinned back as Harry tried to sneakily wipe at his eyes. “You’re both wonderful, and I’m sure they will understand Oscar needs his big sister with him to support him. Now… let’s forget about that for a while, shall we? I know it’s late, but does anyone want to watch a movie in bed?”

“Me!”

“I do, I do!”

“Yay!”

That last one was Harry, and it made both Oscar and Hope burst into giggles, Louis leaning over to kiss all of them before he got out of bed, grabbing the remote control for the TV.

“Let’s see what DVD is in here… oh, Beauty and the Beast. Everyone want to watch that?”

“Please,” Hope nodded, tucking herself back under Louis’ arm, her head on his chest while Oscar did the same to Harry. “I love this film. Ozzy, you need to sing the songs with me, yeah?”

“Okay, Hope,” he whispered, his thumb disappearing into his mouth. “Papa?”

“Yes, love?” Louis asked, eyes fixed on the screen as the opening sequence began. 

“Can you get Giraffey for me?”

Louis smiled fondly and nodded before he slipped out of bed, tiptoeing down the corridor to Oscar’s room where Giraffey was sat on the bed. It was a fluffy toy giraffe that had been the only thing Oscar had come to Louis and Harry with. Since then, it had been the boy’s comfort, and it went everywhere with him. When he’d started school, it had stayed in his bag all day, a simple comfort due to the fact it was there. Oscar’s teacher had confided to Harry when he’d collected him at the end of the day that she’d spotted Oscar whispering into his bag several times during the day, which had made Harry smile for the rest of the day. 

Since then, the little boy had grown confident enough in himself to leave Giraffey at home on his bed while he was at school, but at times of uncertainty, or when he needed a little more comfort, Giraffey made more appearances. Tonight was one such night, and as Louis slid back into bed next to his son, he watched his little arms wrap tightly around the giraffe, clutching him close.

“I love you, buddy,” Louis whispered, pressing a kiss to Oscar’s head as Harry and Hope mouthed along with the words to the first song.

“Tell Giraffey you love him too,” Oscar whispered back, and Louis just grinned.

“I love you Giraffey,” he mumbled, kissing the toy that Oscar held up to his lips. “But not as much as I love my special boy.”

*****

“Haz!”

“What, Lou?”

“I’m taking Oz out, we’re going skating for a bit.”

“Alright, be careful and make sure he wears his pads!”

There was the sound of footsteps as Harry came from the kitchen, tea towel slung over his shoulder. He hugged Oscar and ruffled his hair before he walked over to Louis, kissing and hugging him. They’d always been easy with showing affection to each other in front of their children, and Oscar didn't bat an eyelid as he shoved his elbow and knee pads into his Spiderman rucksack.

“Love you, Lou.”

“I love you, too. You wanna come with us?”

“Nah, s’alright. You know I’ll only end up hurting myself and spoiling the fun.”

Oscar ran up to Harry then, wrapping his arms around his waist and squeezing him tightly. 

“It’s okay though, Daddy, you’re good at other things!”

Louis snorted at that, not even bothering to try and cover it up. Harry glared at him over his son’s head before he laughed, realising Oscar was right. They kissed and Louis grabbed their skateboards, taking his son out to the car. Harry made sure he was strapped in before they finally set off, tooting the horn in a goodbye to Harry. Hope was at a friend’s house, and Louis knew his husband would appreciate a few hours to himself.

The drive to the skatepark didn't take long, and he parked up carefully before Oscar got out. Louis kitted him out in his pads, making sure he was set before he let his son carefully skate himself over to the ramps. There were a few teenagers there already, practicing moves not even Louis would contemplate, and he and Oscar watched in awe for a few minutes.

“You think one day I’ll be able to do that stuff?” the six year old muttered as one of the skaters did a convoluted jump on his board.

“If you work hard at it, sure,” Louis replied, pulling his sunglasses down on his face. “Show me what you’ve got then.”

Oscar seemed hesitant for a moment so Louis stood up, wheeling himself over. Oscar followed his dad’s lead, and they stood at the top of one of the smallest ramps, both looking down. Oscar went first, making Louis cheer for him as he climbed up the opposite side, watching while Louis did the same. They continued like that for a while, and eventually, Oscar wandered over to one of the slightly bigger ramps. Louis knew he’d been considering trying it for a while, but he kept skating around, trying to not make it too obvious he was watching his son as he debated whether or not to chance it.

It was only when Oscar sat down that Louis slid himself over, jumping off his board, leaving it next to his son’s smaller one that he decided to talk to him. He sat on the edge of the ramp, legs dangling over like his son. Oscar’s feet kept bumping against the wooden surface, and Louis stayed quiet, hoping he’d open up, often like Harry did when he had something on his mind.

“What if they don’t like me?”

“Your grandparents?”

Oscar just nodded, his bottom lip wobbling a little.

“Yeah. They must miss Mummy a lot, and maybe… they won’t like me.”

“Oh love…” Louis’ arms came around Oscar’s shoulders, pulling him closer. He wished there was something he could do to help his son, but he knew this was something Oscar had to deal with himself. He only hoped that Oscar’s grandparents would be good people who would love the little boy for who he was. He knew Oscar wouldn’t take any form of rejection lightly. “I’m sure they will like you. You’re kind, and you’re funny, and you’re wonderful. You’re a great son, and a fantastic little brother who we all love to bits. They might find it difficult at first, you will probably remind them a lot of your Mum, but we need to give them a chance, okay?”

Oscar nodded, resting his head on Louis’ shoulder now. 

“And, um…”

His little cheeks were pink now, and Louis just sat there, rubbing Oscar’s arm rhythmically.

“Will you and Daddy still love me if I like them?”

“We’ll never stop loving you, not ever,” Louis assured his son, kissing his head. “You’re our boy. We want you to like them, sweetheart. Then you’ll have three sets of grandparents with lots of love to give you. I think that would be amazing, don’t you?”

“You won’t hate me if I want to see them again?”

“Never. Not ever. Your Daddy and I will support whatever you want to do, okay? I promise. Now gimme a kiss.”

Oscar giggled and kissed his dad quickly, hugging him tightly.

“Can I take Giraffey with me when we meet them?”

“Of course,” Louis grinned, knowing Oscar would have wanted that anyway. “He goes wherever you go, you know that. I bet he’s missing you right now.”

“Bet he’s not,” Oscar smirked back, eyes drifting over to his rucksack. “He’s over there! I brought him in case I wanted to be brave and try the big ramp. He wanted to watch.”

“Well, what are you waiting for then? We’ve got a giraffe to impress!”

Oscar frantically shook his head, his eyes wide with shock.

“No way! It’s too big for me, I’m only six-”

“But you’re the bravest boy I’ve ever known. And if you fall down, I’ll be there to pick you back up again. I won’t let you get hurt, darling. Do you think you want to try?”

Oscar nodded, so the pair of them got to their feet, heading to the smaller ramp again for a while. They practised a few times, back and forth, with Louis getting a little braver each time. He tumbled off when he attempted a bit of a tricky flip, and Oscar just laughed as Louis rubbed at his elbow, wincing as a small graze appeared.

“See? Just a graze, nothing a kiss from Daddy and one of his magic plasters won’t fix. You want to try?”

Oscar looked apprehensive, so Louis took his hand, leading him over. He’d never force Oscar into anything, but at the same time, he knew Oscar wouldn’t even contemplate it if Louis wasn’t there by his side, egging him on. 

“Want me to go first?”

Oscar shook his head, and Louis glanced up, seeing a crowd of teenage boys stood at the side, watching them. His eyes followed Oscar’s every move as he lined his board up at the edge, the front wheels ready to topple over. Oscar eyed the opposite side, then the drop he’d have to conquer first. Louis could almost see his little mind running through what he had to do, and he crossed his fingers behind his back, hoping he’d make it. With his other hand, he fished his phone from his pocket, deciding to video it for Harry and Hope later on.

“You go when you’re ready,” Louis called, and Oscar nodded, determination setting in to his features.

Without warning, and with a steely look on his face, Oscar placed his right foot on the board and used his left to push off. Louis’ heart was in his mouth as Oscar flew down the ramp at a speed much quicker than he was used to, but before he knew it, he was zooming up the other side, jumping off in time to land it.

“I did it, Papa! Did you see, I made it!”

Louis nodded and ran over, and Oscar jumped into his arms as Louis twirled them around. He set him down, and all of a sudden, Oscar was surrounded by the bigger boys, all high-fiving him.

“That was sick, mate, you’re really good for a kid!”

“Awesome, well done!”

“Wish I was that brave, your dad’s pretty cool too, for an old guy.”

“Oi, watch it,” Louis called cheekily, making the other boys laugh before they waved bye to Oscar, leaving him and Louis alone once more. Oscar turned around, his eyes sparkling, the biggest smile on his face.

“Did you hear that?! They said I was sick! Wait til I tell Daddy and Hope!” 

He ran off towards his board and Louis frowned, wondering what he was up to.

“What are you doing, Oz?”

“I’m doing it again! I’m brave now, nothing can stop me!”

*****

The hot water cascaded down over Louis’ shoulder as he closed his eyes, tilting his head back so the water could beat down on top of his head. He’d had a restless night, and at six am had long ago given up on sleep. He’d retreated to the bathroom, and decided to start getting ready for the day. Louis reached out for the bottle of shampoo, smiling as his eyes saw the array of colourful bottles belonging to their children. He squirted some into his hand and started massaging it into his scalp.

“Want me to give you a hand with that?” came a deep voice from behind the curtain, and Louis smiled to himself as Harry climbed in behind him. Warm hands rested on the curve of his waist, and Louis let himself relax back against Harry’s firm body, the mere presence of his husband soothing him. “You okay?”

“Just nervous,” Louis admitted, knowing Harry would never judge him for voicing how he felt. “I feel like I’ve been putting on a brave face for Oz all week, and it just hit me last night this is really happening. I want it to go well so badly, for him, you know? It’s gonna crush him if it doesn’t.”

“Well, he’s got us whatever happens, and his sister,” Harry said, taking over from Louis and rubbing the shampoo into his scalp. Louis relaxed, safe in Harry’s hands. When he was done, he felt Harry turn him around, hands now on his hips. They didn't get to share a shower as often as they liked, thanks to their two children, so when they did, they liked to make the most of it. “Want me to help you forget for a bit?”

Louis nodded, and let Harry kiss him. Usually, he was the one who took charge between them when it came to sex, but right now, he needed his husband, and it seemed Harry was happy to do that for him. Hands roamed around under the water until Harry’s found Louis’ erection, touching him, then kissing him to swallow down his moans. It didn't take long for Louis to release, exhaling shakily with his forehead against Harry’s shoulder, his mind entirely blank for the first time in days.

“I love you,” he mumbled, lips pressed against Harry’s skin as the water started to cool. “Couldn’t do all this without you.”

“Wouldn’t want you to,” Harry muttered back, tucking two fingers under Louis’ chin to tilt his head up, bringing their lips together again. “Kinda stuck with me for life, I’m afraid. Now wash me, you made a mess.”

Louis chuckled and nodded, grabbing their body wash. They talked about the plans for the day as they washed, and when they were done, Harry grabbed them two fluffy blue towels, both men wrapping them around their waists before they unlocked the door.

“And I think- bloody hell kids, you gave me a fright,” Louis exclaimed as he opened the bathroom door to find both of their children sitting outside the door in their pyjamas, Giraffey in Oscar’s lap. Harry narrowly avoided barrelling into Louis, his hands coming to rest on Louis’ damp shoulders.

“We’re hungry and we couldn’t sleep. Are you and Daddy in there together?” Hope asked, her little face clouded in confusion.

“Uh, yeah, we wanted to save water…” Louis mumbled as Harry scoffed behind him. “Let us get dressed, then we’ll come down and make breakfast. Hope, you can put the telly on for the two of you, okay?”

“Yes, Papa!” 

They sounded like thundering elephants as they made their way downstairs, and Louis rolled his eyes, following Harry into their bedroom and closing the door. Harry dropped his towel, and Louis used the opportunity to ogle his husband for a moment while he wandered around, gathering clothes for the pair of them to wear. He selected smart shirts for himself and Louis, along with smart trousers. Boxers came flying out of a drawer next, with socks and shoes placed neatly on the floor.

“This okay, Lou?” Harry asked, peering back over his shoulder. “Stop looking.”

“Can't help that you’re completely gorgeous,” Louis admitted, putting his own towel on the floor, reaching for a pair of black boxers. “Might have been with you since you were sixteen, but the sight of you naked never fails to do something to me.”

“Louis, our two children are waiting downstairs for us, and all you can think about is my arse?”

“I have literally no excuse, and I'm not even sorry,” Louis shrugged, making Harry giggle as he applied deodorant to his underarms. “You sorted out Oz and Hope’s outfits?”

“Not yet.”

“Well, you do that and I’ll make a start on brekkie.”

“I love you, you know,” Harry muttered as he approached Louis, his shirt on his torso but flapping undone. “Glad you’re by my side through all this.”

“Nowhere else I’d want to be, I promise you. This family is my everything.”

They kissed gently until a small hand banged on the door.

“Dad, Papa…”

“Hang on a tick, love,” Louis called as he wriggled his boxers up before Harry answered the door, looking down at his son with a smile. “What’s up?”

“I think that if I don’t eat soon, I might die of hunger. I saw it on the telly. It can really happen, so can we please have food now?”

Louis laughed loudly as he picked up a t-shirt from his drawer, putting it on. He knew that if he wore his smart clothes already, he’d definitely ruin them before their meeting. 

“Come on then, let’s go and make a start.”

“Carry me?”

Oscar didn't often ask to be carried, but Louis knew he was going to be emotional today so obliged his son, lifting him up onto his hip, Oscar’s long legs dangling against his own thigh. 

“You coming, Daddy?”

“In a sec, bud. Just going to put out the things for you and Hope to wear today. Go and help Papa, make sure he doesn't do anything while I’m not there, okay?”

“Aye, aye, captain!” Oscar cried, making a little salute at Harry who returned it, both of them ignoring Louis’ infuriated expression. “Come on Pap, let’s go!”

Breakfast went well, all of them eating despite their nerves, and soon, the children needed to get ready. Harry dressed Oscar while Hope got herself dressed, then walked to her room to braid her hair. She’d chosen a fishtail plait, and Louis fondly remembered Harry spending hours watching a YouTube tutorial on how to do it, proud as punch when he finally mastered it, weaving his nimble fingers with ease through his daughter’s dark locks. 

Louis loaded everyone into the car, doing one final check of himself in the mirror before he locked the front door behind him. Everyone was quiet and almost pensive, and Louis looked back at his children. Hope and Oscar were holding hands, with Giraffey strapped in against Oscar’s stomach. He looked unsure, and Louis wished for a moment that he didn't have to put his six year old through this sort of thing, all the while hoping for the best outcome for everyone. 

“Ready?” he asked, and everyone nodded. He drove off, Harry’s hand coming to rest on his thigh as it always did when they drove, something that had happened since Louis had passed his test when he was eighteen, and had driven Harry to school, much to the jealousy of everyone else in Harry’s year. 

They were meeting Oscar’s grandparents at a family centre, and both Louis and Harry were pleased that it was to be on neutral ground. Neither liked the thought of them coming to their home just yet, and this seemed like a good compromise for everyone. The journey was quiet, the silence only filled by the radio playing quietly in the background, and Louis could sense the nerves from everyone. He’d promised to take Oscar skateboarding again later on in case the boy wanted to talk, but he was hopeful he’d open up before that with Harry as well.

Louis parked the car and looked around, wondering which, if any, of the cars already there belonged to the people they were meeting.

“It’ll be alright, you know,” Harry mumbled, grabbing Louis’ hand as he turned the engine off. “We’re together, and we’ve got each other, no matter what happens. I love you, Louis, and I love our family.”

“I love you too,” Louis whispered in reply, the pair kissing quickly before they got out of the car to let the children out. Harry held Hope’s hand, and Louis took Oscar’s as they walked across the car park.

“Are they in there?” Oscar spoke softly, his fluffy giraffe cuddled close to his chest as he looked into the glass doors. He was dressed smartly in a navy shirt and some black jeans, his Converse on his feet. He looked much like Louis did on a normal day, and the thought made him smile. 

“Maybe, love. We need to go in and find out.”

Oscar nodded but held onto Louis’ hand tightly as the family walked inside, signing themselves in at reception. They were all given a visitor pass to wear, and everyone stayed quiet as they were taken to a back room, waiting for a social worker. Soon enough, the door swung open, and a young woman strolled in, paperwork in her hand as she took a seat across from the family.

“Hi everyone, my name’s Mel. I’m a Social Worker, and I’m here to help facilitate the meeting with Oscar and his grandparents today. How are you all?”

Louis looked to Harry, and smiled slightly.

“We’re good, thank you,” Harry rumbled, his deep voice the antithesis of Mel’s much softer, higher pitched one.

“Did you want to introduce yourselves, and then I’ll talk you through how this is going to work today?”

“Okay, I’m Harry Tomlinson, and that’s my husband Louis. This is Hope, our daughter, she’s seven-”

“I’m eight soon!” Hope piped up, and everyone smiled.

“And obviously this is our son Oscar, he’s six.”

“Well, it’s great to meet you. Oscar’s grandparents are here, their names are Tim and Esther. They’re quite nervous but they’re excited to meet you, Oscar. What were you thinking in terms of who will be going in with Oscar?”

“We’re staying together,” Louis said firmly, leaving no room for discussion. “We’re a family, and we want to do this together. Hope wants to support her brother, and Harry and I wish to support our son as well.”

Oscar wriggled against Louis’ chest then, and he could feel the boy was getting more nervous. Louis peered down to see Oscar’s eyes were shut, and his giraffe was crushed against his chest, his knuckles almost white from how tightly he was gripping it.

“Hey, you’re okay, darling. We’re not going anywhere, okay?”

There was just a nod in reply, and Mel stood up, leaving the room, telling them she was going to fetch Tim and Esther. Louis’ heart was racing, and he felt Harry take his hand, shuffling his chair closer. This was a big deal in so many ways, and in a way, Louis wanted it all to be over so he could take his family home.

It was just a few minutes later that the door opened slowly, revealing an elderly couple in front of them. They looked as nervous as the Tomlinsons, and shuffled in behind Mel. Tim had a walking stick, and an obvious limp, and Esther looked exactly what Louis pictured a stereotypical grandmother to look like, her grey hair pulled back from her face. They smiled shyly at the family, and lowered themselves gingerly into seats, Mel taking the free one at the end.

“I’m just here to observe, please feel free to chat amongst yourselves.”

“We’ll go first,” came Tim’s raspy voice, his wife nodding quietly by his side. “Can I start by reassuring you that we’re not here to rock the proverbial boat, or to tear your family apart. We’ve lost our daughter, and all we are looking for is some contact with our only grandchild. We have no intention of trying to remove him from your care, none whatsoever.”

“Thank you,” Louis said, already feeling at ease from the few words he’d heard. “That’s really nice of you to say so.”

“So, I’m Tim, and this is my wife, Esther. My health hasn’t been so good the past few years, hence the walking stick, but we haven’t lost our marbles just yet. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask us.”

Louis nodded, turning to look at Harry. Oscar still had his face buried in Louis’ chest, but Hope had a pensive look on her face, like she was sizing up the two people opposite her. 

“I’m Louis Tomlinson, I’m Oscar’s dad. He calls me papa, and my husband Harry-”

Harry gave a little wave then, which made Tim and Esther smile.

“Harry is Oscar and Hope’s Daddy. I work full time at a homeless shelter, and Harry stays at home with the children, although he’s been working part time since Oscar started school.”

“I’m Hope,” the little girl said, and Louis felt so proud she’d felt the courage to talk in front of these strangers. “I’m seven, and I love my little brother Oz lots. We have a really lovely family, and I’m glad that Papa and Daddy adopted both of us.”

“That’s so wonderful to hear,” Esther spoke, her voice soft. “You look like a wonderful family. It’s lovely to see you all. Hello Oscar.”

Oscar peered up shyly, meeting Esther’s eyes for a moment before he sat back against Louis.

“I’m sorry, he’s just shy-”

“Don’t apologise. We’re strangers to him, it’s understandable. Hope, which year are you in at school?”

Louis and Harry sat back as Tim and Esther took an interest in their talkative daughter, asking lots of questions about her schoolwork and her dance, and it seemed that Hope being so chatty was piquing Oscar’s interest as slowly but surely, the little boy sat up, eyes following the conversation across the table. Eventually, he slid himself off Louis’ lap and went to sit in the big chair with his sister, Giraffey still held tightly to him.

“Oh…” Esther suddenly said into the silence, her eyes becoming glassy. “I remember Leanne buying that when she was pregnant-”

“Come here, love,” Tim muttered in a gruff voice, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “I’m sorry, I know we lost Leanne years ago now, but the pain never goes away.”

“Mummy bought this for me?” Oscar said then, the first words he’d spoken since his grandparents walked into the room. “When I was small?”

“When you were in her tummy,” Esther confirmed, using a floral hanky to wipe away her tears. “She and your daddy loved you so, so much, sweetheart. You look so much like her.”

Oscar looked over to Harry then, who gave him a reassuring smile. Louis could see the pain etched in the eyes of the couple sat across from him, and he wished there was something he could do to help them.

“We, uh, we brought along some photos for you,” Esther said, rummaging in her plum leather handbag before she produced a packet, setting it on the table. “We didn't know whether you were ever given any photos for Oscar, so just in case…”

“We’d love to see,” Louis said with a smile, reaching for the packet. “Actually… Oz, why don’t you go and stand with Tim and Esther, let them show you?”

Oscar looked hesitant, his blue eyes clouding over and Louis thought his heart would burst when Hope hopped up from the chair, holding out her hand for her little brother.

“I’d like to see your mummy and daddy, Oz, let’s go and have a look.”

With his sister by his side, Oscar rounded the table and stood between the two people, watching as the couple talked them through the photos. After a while, Tim passed a small pile over to Harry, and Louis scooted closer, the pair slowly looking through them. The couple in the photos, Leanne and Kyle James, Oscar’s parents, looked so happy and in love. There were quite a few photos of Leanne heavily pregnant with Oscar, and a few taken just after his birth, both parents looking exhausted but elated, their sleeping newborn in their arms. Louis almost felt like he was intruding by looking at these precious family moments.

“You can keep those,” Tim said, nodding his head towards the photos. “We made a set of copies for you, we thought Oscar might like them.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind,” Harry said, eyes still fixed on a photo of Oscar at just a few weeks old, sleeping soundly in a cot in what must have been his bedroom. “He was a gorgeous baby, we didn't get any photos so these are so lovely for Oscar to have.”

“Do you miss her?” Oscar asked then, and Louis didn't miss how Esther’s bottom lip wobbled as she nodded.

“Every minute of every day,” she confirmed. “But seeing you has… it feels like a little bit of her is still alive, because she lives in you.”

Hope pulled her brother into a cuddle then as Louis struggled to keep himself together. He glanced to Harry to see his husband wiping away a few tears, the emotion ever present in the room.

“So are you my nanny and grandad?”

“We are, but you can call us Tim and Esther. You probably have grandparents already-”

“I do, I have Nanny Anne and Nanny Jay, they’re lovely. But I can have more, Daddy says you can never have enough people who love you.”

“Oh,well, of course you can have more,” Esther said, her eyes lighting up with the little boy’s words. 

She continued to talk with them, Oscar getting more at ease as he began to open up as well, even going so far as to let Tim hold Giraffey at one point, which made Louis and Harry both smile widely, knowing Oscar didn't give his precious Giraffey away to just anyone. Before long, Louis sensed the meeting was coming to a close, and Mel led the children off to the kitchen for a biscuit, allowing the adults to talk for a moment.

“We’d love to see you again,” Esther said, her frail hand holding her husband’s. “I promise you we just want to be able to see our grandson, to keep in touch. There’s no pressure from us, but he’s all we have left-”

Her voice cracked then, and Louis couldn’t stop himself. He pushed back in his chair and rounded the table, crouching next to the woman and pulling her into a hug. There was just something about this couple that warmed Louis’ heart, and he hoped they’d be able to stay in touch and play a part in Oscar’s life.

“Definitely,” Harry assured them as Louis got back up, coming to sit next to him again. “I know Oscar was very nervous about this, so were we if we’re being honest, but I think it could be good for him to get to know you both.”

“You’ve done an amazing job raising him, and your daughter,” Tim said to the proud fathers opposite him. “They’re a credit to you, they really are. It’s a wonderful thing you’ve done, taking on children who desperately needed a home and a family and giving them that.”

“They’re so easy to love,” Louis shrugged over at him with a smile. “Harry and I were married young, and we always wanted a family. When Hope came along, it felt like everything was right, but we felt complete when Oscar joined our family. I’m just sorry it was in such tragic circumstances for you, but we are so grateful he’s part of our family.”

“Did you know we kept his surname?” Harry said, and Esther looked shocked at that, her hand coming up to her mouth. “We hyphenated it. He’s Oscar Tomlinson-James. We didn't want to take away his identity, but we wanted him to share a name with us. We hope that’s okay?”

“That’s a wonderful thing,” Esther said, her eyes shining with tears again. “Does Hope have the same?”

“No, we never knew her parents,” Louis admitted. “We’re the only family she’s ever known.”

The door opened then, and both children skipped in, chocolate evident around Oscar’s face.

“Had something nice, did we?” Harry muttered as Oscar climbed into his lap, nodding eagerly. “We’re going now, kids, so did you want to say goodbye to Tim and Esther?”

Hope nodded first and skipped around the table, hugging Tim, then Esther. Oscar was a little more shy, but soon copied his sister, nodding as Esther whispered something to him.

“It’s been so lovely to meet you all,” Esther said, getting to her feet as Harry stood up, going to help Tim up. “Thank you, for giving us a chance to know our grandson, you will never know how much this means to us.”

“Oscar’s lucky to have nice people like you,” Hope said, her arm around her brother, smiling down at him, looking every inch the proud big sister. 

“Well, can I tell you a secret?” Esther said, coming to stand next to Hope, peering down at her. Hope nodded, and Louis watched it all unfold in front of him. “I always knew I had a grandson, but I was always hopeful that one day I might have a granddaughter too.”

Louis watched a blush creep up Hope’s cheeks at that, and he swallowed down the lump in his throat as his daughter threw her arms around the older woman’s neck. It was a very emotional goodbye, and Louis felt relieved that Tim and Esther left first with a promise to meet again soon, leaving the family alone for a few minutes. Hope took Oscar over to a play area set up in the corner of the room, and Harry sat, pulling Louis onto his lap for a moment.

“What lovely people,” he mumbled, arms encircling Louis’ waist. “You think Oz liked them?”

“How could he not?” Louis replied, his fingers stroking the back of Harry’s neck. “It broke my heart, Haz, hearing them talk about their daughter, how much they missed her. It doesn’t bear thinking about, does it?”

Harry shook his head before he pushed Louis up to his feet, calling for the children.

“Let’s go home, love. I feel like I want to cosy up and watch a movie, all of us together.”

“Sounds perfect,” Louis agreed, kissing Harry’s lips quickly. “I love you.”

“Love you more,” Harry replied, picking up Giraffey who was sat on the table alongside the packet of photos. “Let’s go home, family.”

*****

“Papa’s home!” Louis called as he walked in through the front door a week later, frowning when he heard no reply. “Haz? Hope? Oz?”

“Up here!”

Louis kicked off his shoes and smiled, walking up the stairs. There was no sign of his family in Hope’s room but he could hear chatter from Oscar’s. When he walked in, he smiled at the sight of Harry on Oscar’s bed, his son between his legs, and Hope cross-legged next to them, reading a bit of her reading book as the boys listened on.

“Sorry, carry on, love,” he said, sitting next to his husband. They all listened intently until Hope finished her chapter, sliding in the bookmark she’d gotten from the library the other day. “Amazing reading, good girl.”

“Thanks, Papa. Miss Hegarty said if I keep going like this, I’ll be a second level free reader soon, and Daddy says if I do that, he’ll buy me two books!”

“Did he now?” Louis asked, cocking his eyebrow at his husband who just nodded proudly. “Had a good day, Oz?”

“Yeah, we went to the shops after school, and Daddy got me something.”

He wriggled off the bed, feet landing heavily on the floor as he walked over to his chest of drawers, lifting down a frame Louis was sure he hadn’t seen before. He walked over carefully before he placed it in Louis’ open hands, crawling next to his papa again.

“S’a special frame. It’s got a picture of me and you and Hope and Daddy in it, ‘cause I love you, and we’re a family. But Daddy putted one of the photos that Tim and Esther gave me, of my other mummy and daddy in it too. And it says Family across the top of it, see?”

His little pointer finger ran over the glass where the word Family was etched into the wood. Louis just nodded, not quite trusting himself to speak. Hope took the frame then, having a look before she got up and put it back in its place.

“You alright, Lou?” Harry asked, looking at his husband in concern.

“Yeah. That’s a lovely thing you did, love,” Louis mumbled, his voice deep and laden with emotion. “Did he talk about them at all?”

“A bit,” Harry admitted as they watched Hope and Oscar leave the room, no doubt heading to Hope’s bedroom. “He's asked if he can see them again. I think part of him is worried about upsetting us if he sees them, but I just keep reassuring him that it’s okay, that we liked them and want him to get to know them.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Louis said softly, turning to face Harry then. “I know how apprehensive you were about this whole thing, but you’ve put Oscar first the whole time. Couldn’t have picked a better Daddy for my babies, could I?”

“Not really,” Harry admitted with a straight face, only holding it for a moment until they both burst into giggles. Harry leaned in first, pressing his lips gently to Louis’, keeping the kiss chaste as they were all too aware of their children just down the hall. “Seriously, though. I’m glad he liked them, it’s important he knows about his mum and dad. I know he’s got us, but he’s part of them too, you know?”

“I do. But he got his best traits from you,” Louis whispered, a hand coming up to cup Harry’s cheek before they kissed slowly again. “Wanna have an early night tonight?”

“Mm hmm,” Harry hummed in reply, his hand around Louis’ lower back now, sliding up under his work shirt. “Kinda been thinking about it all day, actually, how I want you to-”

“DADDY! PAPA! HOPE STOLED MY TIARA AND SHE SAID I CAN’T BE A PRINCESS COS I’M A BOY BUT I WANT TO BE ONE!”

Harry sighed and Louis just laughed, pushing his husband away before he stood up, ready to sort out yet another tiff.

“Save it for later, yeah?”

Harry just nodded, his hand drifting down to palm himself, making Louis groan.

“Tease,” he muttered under his breath, leaving the room. “Hope, if your brother wants to be a princess, let him be a princess!”