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It was all so distant and so close, quite the irony considering the circumstances.
Will was trying, but the part of him that was still connected to the grisly scenes surrounding his profession was greater, bigger, stronger and he could not deny that.
That same part of him was responsible for the current state of his physical, emotional, and mental being.
The soak of sweat through sheets and pillows. It seemed like he would have to resort to his same tactics
The towel.
There were hints of the soon to be morning sun, but nothing had quite appeared yet. Mere hints, a tease of sorts.
Will's mind wandered to the other haunting thing in his mind.
Hannibal.
Why was that man seemingly always lingering in the most shadowed corners of his psyche, as of late?
He sighed and something resembling a growl seemed to emanate from his tender throat.
He pushed a hand through his, now, damp curls. They had too, gotten a taste of the affliction of his nightmares.
Will wondered what Hannibal would tell him to do now?
...and there he was, thinking of him again!
He fought down the urge to swear. To voice those raging emotions which were unhealthily burning through the, already, thin walls of his moral fragility.
Fragility...
Fragile...
Weak.
Curse, that wretched word! It was a runner-up for the other ever-present, always resonating thought that was, Hannibal Lecter.
He skimmed his teeth over the softness of his bottom lip. Still sitting up in his bed, never having gotten up for the towel.
There was a soft whine of sorts.
Finally, some sort of distraction!
His dogs had shifted in positions, he could tell by the rustling sound waving in throughout the room.
A soft drop landed on his thigh and only then was it he realized that he had still not gone to retrieve the towel.
He stood, albeit rather shakily but it was too much of a norm to be any cause for concern, now.
Walking around, stretching his limbs at the ungodly hour that only Will Graham could manage to get up at, felt incredibly good to his anxiety-induced tense body.
What was it that was bothering him more than his nightmares?
What was probing at the back of his mind?
Why was it so insistent?
He felt no need to answer those questions, not for not knowing the answer...
It was rather the fear that he very well knew the answer, an answer which in truth he did not want to think about.
But that caused the answer to come full front against his worn-out mind.
And of course that resonating thought was the only clear answer.
Hannibal Lecter.
The Pandora's Box of his mind.
He sighed again, only this time more sadly, more in pain. What was the correct word?
Broken.
He glanced at the clock but it was too far to see from his standing point.
Instead he shrugged and looked back towards his shower.
Will shrugged again, more subtly this time.
Reaching for the knob, turning it until watered spilled out of the designated head.
The water was warming, cool enough to soothe the burning anxiety coursing through every single vein in his body. Every single artery was filled with the flow of his heightened pressure. He pushed the shirt off himself and reached down, pulling his boxers with him too. Stepping in and letting cool water soak through his hair.
Alana had warned him not to get too close, she had also warned Jack to not let Will get close.
But Jack was not trying to hurt him. He understood that, he also understood Hannibal and Alana. What they said and why they said it.
Well, he didn't truly understand Hannibal. His professional advice, perhaps but he never understood the man himself. To be fair, it was difficult when it came to Hannibal.
He ran his hands through his hair and down his face as he wondered.
Was Hannibal that closed with everybody else? Or was it just Will? Did Hannibal just want Will out of his life? Or was it that he had to be exclusive with Hannibal in order to be close with him?
He sighed as water ran down the soft curve of his belly, only a slight turn down into a delicate slope. His rather lean figure relaxed slightly and he leaned his head against the shower wall.
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He ruffled the towel through the soft curls against his head, another towel tied against his waist. Some of his dogs had awoken already, and they pranced about in their relaxed way. He glanced once more at the clock but was interrupted by the barking of a much smaller dog that was running around...in search of something to be fed. The poor thing was hungry.
Will understood the hunger, but he couldn't quite place it for food. It seemed as though the hunger was pointed towards something more emotionally based. He wondered what would happen if he decided to call Hannibal. What would happen if maybe he decided to break that barrier and reach out to him. What would happen if Hannibal answered?
This was a true Cat and Mouse game. More in Will's head than actually present.
He shivered.
Shaking his head and approaching his dresser, he dressed himself. Whispering things to his dogs and watching them play around the room for a bit.
His phone rang loudly, startling him and the poor pups.
He picked it up glancing at the Caller ID before sighing and answering.
"Hey, Jack."
"Morning, Will. I expected you to be up this early."
That elicited a small chuckle from the young male. "As always, Jack."
"I talked to Hannibal about your session this week, he told me about how it went."
Will paused momentarily, glancing out the window towards the driveway path leading to the front of his house. The sun peeked out just enough to see the headlights pulling up onto the gravelly path.
The warming rays on sunshine shone on the car which had pulled to a stop at its final destination-Will's house.
"Will?" Jack called from the other end of the line.
"Yeah? What?" He said blinking and clearing his throat slightly.
"Distracted, hmm?" Jack mused, and he could imagine the slight grin spreading across his face. "I asked if you were teaching today."
"Uh, yeah teaching like always." He responded still wary of whoever had pulled up. He felt the car was familiar but there was no telling if he was certain.
"Hey, Jack where are you?" Will asked suddenly, interrupting whatever words were coming out of Jack's mouth.
"I'm revising case files in my office, why?"
Will blinked, could it be...?
"N-No, nothing just curious." Will stated, rather uncertainly.
He grabbed the gun that he had been granted for his line of work. Gripping it like it was the only way to remain sane.
"Alright, well if that's the case then I would like to ask you some questions about your sess-"
"Can I call you back, I have to do something."
"Uh, sure are you alrig-"
Will hung up.
Who was outside? He heard the soft clacking of something against the porch outside and soon realized they were footsteps.
His anxiety began eating away at those barriers protecting his mind again.
There was a soft, rhythmic knock against the door and Will jumped softly.
His heart pounded out of fear and excitement. Fear because of all the nightmares that plagued and haunted him, teasing at him with the very acts he had committed.
Excited because he could only think of what would happen, be it Hannibal.
An odd and extreme proposition.
But an equally exciting one, nonetheless.
He opened the door, gun placed snugly in its proper holster.
His eyes fixed themselves on the figure before him, out of all the expectations he did not expect it to be this one.
"Morning, Will." And Alana offered a soft smile with the greeting.