Chapter Text
“Run! Run, (Y/N), run!”
Slowly, your eyes opened, a small gasp leaving you as you arose from a heavy sleep. Your mind went blank as the train of thought from your dream faded into nothingness. Sitting up, you wondered what you could have been dreaming about. It was just there. It felt like something important. Suddenly, you heard a loud knocking at your door.
“Holy Knight (Y/N),” A guard stood outside your door, uncertain if you were awake yet. Sunlight filtered in through your glass window as you rise from your bed and walked over to the door.
“Yes?” You responded dryly through the sliver in the doorway.
“The Queen requests your presence in the central garden as soon as possible.”
“Alright, I'll be down once I'm dressed,” the guard left with a nod, and you began to get dressed.
As you walked the busy halls of the castle, the thoughts of your dream still lingered. Any chance of remembering it was now gone, but it still ate away at you that you couldn't remember. Every time this happened. For years, all that you could recall were snippets and the most vague details of what you had dreamt about. But even then, that was to be expected, with your memory problems and all.
Once you stepped out into the garden, you took a steady, and deep breath. The floral scents overcame you, and all that was left was a mild peace in your thoughts. The Queen stood across the path from you, ordering the servants who were cutting down different flowers in the garden. Bowing once you approached her, she didn't even look in your direction as she spoke.
“You woke up rather late this morning, (Y/N), did you have trouble sleeping?”
“No, the exact opposite actually,” with that comment she turned to you, an eyebrow raised.
“Why is that? Were you danced away by your dreams?”
You looked away from her, disappointed in your answer, “I'm sorry, I can't remember.”
She sighed, “like usual, I see.” Quickly, she disregarded it, and turned back to the servants cutting away at the flowers. The blooms grew beautifully in front of you, so vibrant and gorgeous.
She pointed to a row near the back, “I want those gone. They're hideous.”
Your eyes followed where the Queen was pointing and the servants quickly snipped off the buds of all the flowers. They were your favorite.
Pressing your lips together, you felt your brow knit as you watched one healthy flower after the other get chopped.
“Might I ask why you are cutting the flowers, Queen Valda?”
Turning, she lowered her gaze on you, “I noticed they were becoming overgrown. The sight of them was unnerving.” With a wave of her hand, she walked past you, her fingers then brushing the petals of a flower from a large bush of begonias.
“You didn't attend your last memory recovery session with Alben.” Confused, you walked up next to her, her eyes still on the begonias.
“Is that why you requested for my presence?”
“Yes, I wanted to know if you had remembered anything, as that would excuse your presence from his sessions,” her face twisted as she scoffed. “But I think I already know what the answer will be, obviously.” You stayed quiet as you lowered your head. Queen Valda ordered one of the servants to tell the gardeners to take the flowers she had asked for to the dining hall, and then swiftly walked away from the begonia bush, motioning for you to follow her. Quickly, you caught up, now walking by her side back into the castle.
“Why did you miss your last session with Alben?”
Your memory recovery session was yesterday, and you had just met with Alben two days prior, as scheduled. But, yesterday, you had gotten distracted…
“Well, I was, um,” quickly, you lied to her, “I was training, and lost track of time.”
As you both turn down a hall, Queen Valda remains silent. You can feel butterflies growing in your stomach like weeds.
“I see,” was all Queen Valda said as she careened into the dining hall, her head held high. In an instant, the smell of cooking food rushed past you, reminding you that you hadn't eaten yet.
All of the servants assembling the table and decorations moved out of the Queen's way within seconds upon her arrival. The room was filled with people bustling about, walking in and out of the kitchen. There were maids cleaning and household staff placing cutlery in their proper places on the table. The drapes hanging on the walls were being dusted and the gardeners had just arrived, placing the flowers into vases on pedestals around the room. Well, all of the flowers but your favorite, that is.
“Did you make any good progress in learning to control your magic, at least then?” You stumbled next to her as you stopped to watch the staff light the candles around the room. The sweet fragrance drifted around the room as the light flickered.
“Oh, uh, yeah,” you tried your best to avoid fidgeting. Gesturing over to the table, you inquired to the Queen, “is there someone important coming for dinner tonight?”
For once, Valda actually stopped to turn around to speak to you. “Yes, actually. The grandmasters are returning from the battle in the fields outside of Draiya.” Queen Valda is smiling, but you can't bring yourself to do so in response. Joy had filled you at the thought of Grandmaster Godfrey returning, but that would not be the only effect of the kingdom's victory.
“So, I assume the battle was successful?” Your voice remained lax. Though you should feel happy, you're not. The Queen doesn't seem to notice this though, as she never does.
“Yes, last I heard, we were victorious.”
Wonderful… Now the kingdom is on its way to slaughter another town.
“That's great news.” The lack of enthusiasm went unseen by the Queen. She made her way back out of the dining hall, of course with you following.
“So, the feast tonight will be in celebration of our kingdom, Treasluhan, and its small, but beneficial, victory for our cause.”
Right, our cause. The kingdom's cause, and, coincidentally, your cause, as not only a Holy Knight, but also the Princess of Treasluhan. Even though, it seems most people tend to forget that last part of your title.
As the both of you continued to walk, you began to realize that you recognized the halls you were passing through.
“Wait, are we heading to--” Valda cut you off as you both stopped in front of an all too familiar door.
“I want you to do the session you missed with Alben today, before the dinner.” Taken aback, you scoffed, your brow furrowing.
“What?? I have another session tomorrow, I can just make it up then! Plus, dinner will be over by the time my session ends-!” You were silenced by Queen Valda's hand hovering in front of your face, her glare shaking you to your core. You lowered your head, looking away from the Queen.
“No one said you had to attend the dinner. The recovery of your memory is more important than greeting the Grandmasters when they arrive. You can speak with them tomorrow.” A rough and deep sigh left you as you didn't fight her.
“Of course, My Queen.”
“That's my good daughter,” she reached up to pinch your cheek, but you pulled away from her pampered, manicured fingers. Freezing, she exhaled and straightened her back.
“Fine, see me once you're finished.” And instantly, she turned and walked away, never once looking back at you.
Once she rounded the corner, you leaned back against the wall, sighing out sharply. Frustrated, you curled your hands into fists, your arms shaking. Your mouth shut tight as a scream resonated through your clenched teeth. Huffing repeatedly, you tried to cool down, pacing in front of the door. You turned to it, staring at the knob, waiting for you to do as you were told. You ran your fingers over your face, shaking your head as you stepped up to the door. Reluctantly, you waited. With a deep sigh, you slowly knocked and heard someone from inside shout to come in.
Opening the door, you saw the kingdom's most powerful mage, Alben Vecalon, standing over his potions table, scribbling something on a sheet of paper.
“Hello, (Y/N), glad to see you decided to come in today, as you had,” -you finish his sentence with him- “ ‘missed our session together yesterday’, I know.” You slumped onto the stool next to him, staring towards the ground.
“Why did you miss our session? Must've been for something important, I presume.” His eyebrows rose up as he looked at you, waiting for an answer. Diverting your attention from his piercing blue eyes, your line of sight shifted over to the cabinets resting across the wall; closed and neatly organized with all of his tools and potions waiting to be used inside.
With all honesty, you were most definitely not training when you missed your session yesterday. You were having your own “memory recovery” session. You had visited your birth-mother’s old room.
“Uh yeah,” you fidgeted with your fingers, rubbing your thumb along the inside of your palm as you spoke. “I got caught up with training, lost track of time, I guess. Sorry.”
Alben narrowed his eyes at you, and then shook his head, “you need to manage your time better. These sessions are important for not only your future, but-”
“My past. Trust me, I know Alben.” You smiled at him as he returned the gesture, a smile creeping its way across his own face. He then walked over to a specific chair in the back corner. The edges of the arm rests were tattered, looking to be from scratches. He extended a gentle hand towards it, smiling nonchalantly as he spoke.
“Alright, shall we begin?” The question was simple and sounded kind, but you knew you could only give one answer in return.
Walking over to the dark, wood finished chair, you gave Alben a nod, setting yourself down into the familiar black cushions of the seat. A shiver ran it's way up your spine and down to the tips of your fingers once you settled in. Your fingers curled around the arm rest, your nails lining up with the previous scratch marks on it. Taking a few deep breaths, you tried to calm down and push aside any bad memories that began to reappear in your mind. The last time you sat down in this chair, nothing surprising happened, but the thoughts of a multitude of other previous occurrences -dating back to your childhood- were not as easy to forget, ironically.
You could never remember exactly what was happening before the start of the session, and definitely not after. But, the faded memories of your own screams and a deep pain rattling inside you were all you could remember before it washed away to black. Everything was vague after that, until you woke up later, in Alben's room, as if no time had passed. In reality, days (weeks even), had gone by and were blocked out in your memory. And there you were, standing in his room to do it all over again, any memory of the time in between vanishing instantly.
“Close your eyes, and clear your mind.” After hearing him say that for so many years, your eyes had already closed. Another round of deep breaths aided to your struggling focus.
“Okay, let's start,” the familiar sensation of Alben's magic flowed through the air around you. Alben muttered magical incantations under his breath as his hands closed over yours; the feel of his soft, thin fingers indistinguishable. It slipped through your body and quickly ran its way up to your head as you felt your thoughts and memories blur.
“Remember, (Y/N). Breathe, just breathe, it's okay.” His voice sounded like it was drifting away as you began to see something, it looked like… It looked like… Wait, that looks like…
It was like you were there, just like you had been yesterday. Your eyes were open, and you were standing in your mother's old room. But, it looked newer. There weren't any cobwebs or dust bunnies littering the place. It was as if… no way, is this really…? Did I finally…?
Turning where you stood, slowly, you looked around, noticing how drastically different everything looked when it had been maintained daily. You saw how glossy her wooden wardrobe was in the moonlight. You could see the flicker of candles around the room, and how neatly organized all of her belongings were. Yet, it all looked so, unclear. As if only slightly out of focus, or covered in a wavy fog. That is until you turned completely around, and saw, in crystal clear focus, your mother and yourself as a small child.
Once you laid eyes on yourself, you were looking up at your mother as she brushed and combed through your wet hair. Her soft smile melted all of your anxieties away, her hand cupping the side of your face. But, it didn't last for long.
A pain began to grow in your chest as the edges of your vision began to darken over your mother's smiling face. A surge of images suddenly rushed through your head. Within seconds they disappeared, making you instantly forget. Your brain felt like it was about to explode. Image after image, things you recognized, people you had known, instantly leaving your recallable memory. You just wanted to see her. It was too much. There was too much. It was all going by so fast you didn't know how to process. Too loud. Too bright. Too much pain. It hurt too badly, you were losing yourself. Not again. Not again. Please, please not again!!
Distant high-pitched shrieks rang through your ears.
“Run! Run, (Y/N), run!”
“... always!”
You saw three rapid, final images flash inside your mind. The sight of a man's face in the darkness. Your father, crying. And a young boy, with orange hair and the most vivid purple eyes.
A ragged gasp cut its way out of your throat as your eyes flew open.
“Hey! Hey, (Y/N) it's okay! I'm right here, you're okay, it's all okay.” Alben's voice tried to soothe its way past your terror. Panting, you looked down at your hands in his, your entire body shaking in the seat. You felt like you couldn't breathe. There was a weight slithering its way around your chest, restricting your thoughts and fleeting breaths of air. You had to do something. You got something back, the echoes of something. Of your mom, the echoes of an old friend.
You briskly stood up, the floor swaying under your feet. Stumbling, you fell onto the counter, a sick feeling rising up inside you. It was happening again. You couldn't control it.
“(Y/N), take in deep breathes, it's alright. You're out of it, everything is--”
“NO, NO IT'S NOT!” Screaming, you felt the sweeping rush of overpowering magic building up inside of you. Tremors rattled your body with each ragged gasp.
“I can't, I can't, I just, it won't,” a bloodcurdling scream flooded your throat and poured out of you, “please, it hurts.” Tears stained your face as the stream wouldn't stop. Harsh gasps filled the room as your veins began to glow bright blue from the outside of your hands. It covered over you like an uncontrollable tide, swiftly making its way up your arms, through your chest and heaving lungs, and finally, to your head. Alben began to back away as you turned around to him, your eyes glowing blindingly bright.
Lightning zapped around you, striking anything close to it. You tried to breathe through it, but it swelled inside. It couldn't be controlled. It refused to be controlled. It didn't want to be forgotten again.
A gush of rage rattled out from inside of you. You roared, your voice drowned out by the sharp bangs of thunder inside the room. All of your magical energy exploded out in the form of a giant lightning storm in Alben's office. You remember seeing Alben in the mess, hiding behind a magical field he created in the back corner. That was the last thing you saw before your vision went black.
♞
Slowly, your eyes opened, a small gasp leaving you as you awoke from a heavy sleep. Your mind felt suspiciously blank as the train of thought from your unconscious state faded into nothingness. Sitting up, you wondered what you could have been doing.
You looked around and noticed you were in Alben's lab. There were papers all over the place and charred marks covering the walls, floor and ceiling. The cabinets were flung open, potion bottles missing, and pill bottles broken, shattered across the counters.
There was a maid, scurrying to clean up the broken glass as you rose from your deep slumber. Once she saw you, she jumped, “oh! Holy Knight (Y/N)! You're awake!” You looked at her, confused as she stuttered out unintelligible words and paced back and forth.
“Oh, ah, uh, Her Majesty, the Queen, requested your presence immediately once you woke up!”
It was then that the vague recollections of what had happened before you blacked out swam back to the surface of your mind. Looking down at your palms, there was no lightning flowing through your veins any longer, but the tingle of the memory made you shiver.
“Oooohhh, nooooo,” abruptly tossing the throw blanket off of yourself, you rushed out of the room. Running through the halls, the only sound was your echoing footsteps against the cobblestone. Dashing past the dining hall, you stopped, walking back around to see the food from dinner still set up on the table. Confused, you walked closer. The servants bustled about, cleaning up the uneaten food. The other maids busied themselves with replacing the water in the vases, all holding the same flowers still… which means it's still the same day. Or at least, it should be. Unless Queen Valda was trying to test you again.
Sprinting past the servants, you made your way outside to the garden. As you got closer, the bright light of the moon shone through the stained glass windows inside the castle, letting you know that it was well after dinnertime.
Once outside, the moon illuminated your path. Slowing to a stop, you noticed your favorite flowers were still freshly chopped. It was definitely the same day. But if that was true, where were the Grandmasters? Where was Godfrey?
You turned around, and looked up to Queen Valda's window. The curtains to her room were drawn, but the wavering light from inside showed she had a fire lit. You darted that way, a haste in your steps as you make your way up the stairs and to her room. The two guards waiting there paid you no mind as you rounded the corner, nearly slamming into the wall. They only lowered their heads in respect as you knocked on the door.
“Who is it?”
“It's me, My Queen. (Y/N), as you requested.”
“Come in.”
The guards opened the door for you, bowing as you entered the room. The fireplace was set ablaze, as well as the candlesticks in the darker corners of the room. The strong scent of burning wood drifted past you, somehow reminding you of your childhood. You couldn't remember exactly why, but it did. And it hurt.
The Queen was sitting by the fire, dressed in her nightly robes, her long, dark brown hair pooling down the side of her shoulder, loosely fit into a single braid. She didn't move, she only sat, watching the flames as they flicked about. The cracks and pops from the wood broke the silent atmosphere in the room. In her hand, she held a crushed piece of paper you had not seen before. Carefully, you walked closer, standing a safe distance away from her as you spoke.
“Your Majesty? What is wrong? Did I… did I do something wrong? And, and where is Grandmaster Godfrey?” Your voice didn't raise any higher than a scared murmur. Her gaze remained on the flames of the fire.
“Grandmaster Godfrey and Grandmaster Ruluk aren't returning tonight.”
Disbelief spread through you as you looked at her, seeking an answer. She remained silent.
“Wait, what do you mean?” Ignoring your question, she fiddled with the paper in her hands.
“I'm very disappointed in your performance today.” A hard, sinking filling quickly weighed down over every part inside of you. You held your breath, anticipating what she might say next.
“You lost control, again, (Y/N). Even when you had claimed to be training yesterday. Obviously, that “training” did you no good, as you were just wasting your time, and Alben's time waiting on you.”
You opened your mouth to speak, but she stole the breath behind your words with a single glare. “You destroyed that lab,” she stood up, walking closer to you. You took a couple steps back, “and now, all of those potions and his ingredients that Alben has been treasuring for years are now destroyed because you could not control your magic!” Flinching away, you cowered under her shouts. She noticed, and relaxed her shoulders as she turned away from you. With a sigh, she rubbed the bridge of her nose. After a long pause, Valda moved towards the window. She rested her hands on the small ledge, looking down at her kingdom stretched out in front of her.
The atmosphere in the room was suffocating. You walked towards her, slowly, fearfully.
“Did you remember anything?” Her voice was now softened to a light whisper.
“I uh, um… no. No, I can't quite remember anything…” You heard a deep sigh leave her. A long, weighted pause hung in the air, until Valda spoke again.
“The Grandmasters sent back a letter.”
She placed her hand out, the crumbled letter outstretched to you. Gingerly, you plucked it from her palm, and unwrinkled it, reading the letter.
Dear Your Majesty, Queen Valda,
We had been victorious, as previously mentioned, but before our armies could proceed forward to safer grounds, another army from Camelot appeared out of nowhere, being led by their king, Arthur Pendragon, himself. We are in dire need of assistance, and request help at once.
Sincerely, Grandmaster Godfrey.
Valda's eyes, glazed over and distant, stared down to the kingdom. But you stared out. Out to the sky where the stars littered the dark blue abyss and the moon was the earth's light. Your gaze then landed on the rolling plains where Godfrey was still battling, most likely for her life.
“I want you there before sunrise, as a way to repent for what you did earlier today. Do what you must to make sure we gain that land and attain this victory, not just for us, but for our kingdom, and it's cause.”
Silence, not a single sound came from you. One word out of line and, well…
“Do I make myself clear, (Y/N)?”
“Yes, My Queen. I will be there no later than tomorrow's sunrise.”
A smile spread across Valda's face, “that's my good daughter.”