Work Text:
Waiting around Ubayashiki’s home is always grating. The grounds are stunning, but having to listen to the pillars talk politics is surprisingly hellish. Sabito is all for talking strategy, you can’t go forward without a plan of action, but it seems like everything is ineffective. Demons are still wandering about and they’re no closer to finding Muzan than they were the last meeting six months ago. When he tried bringing it up, he received a handful of threats. He had been told to stay quiet and in his place. It wasn’t a pretty sight, the brawl that had almost broken out between the Wind Pillar and Sabito is one still whispered about when they’re all forced into each other’s company. Ubayashiki, the saint that he is, managed to quash it with it a low chuckle and a reassuring whisper of “patience”. Afterwards, he was scolded and told that he wouldn’t be allowed back if he couldn’t keep quiet and out of the way.
Now every six months he has to quietly sit by and watch Giyuu take jabs from his fellow hunters and he gets more and more livid each time.
Even now as the pillars are dismissed and Giyuu brushes off a verbal lashing from the Wind Pillar, it twists his guts to know he’s not allowed to say anything if he wants to keep close to Giyuu. Giyuu is tiny compared to the Wind Pillar, but he still manages to look down his nose. Uninterested and unmoved by Sanemi’s antics. Right in the middle of glaring a hole through the back of Sanemi’s head he catches Giyuu’s eyes and the small smile he gets makes him forget he was ever angry at all. It’s gentle and fond and it shows in his eyes. When he was young, it made him feel like he could do anything. Now that he’s an adult it makes his heart flutter. It’s embarrassing how effective it is. He can feel himself going red, just barely holding it together as Giyuu makes his way across the garden.
Giyuu comes to a stop just in front of him, tense and unhappy.
“Good meeting?” Sabito is already holding the gate open for him. For a second it feels like he can see Giyuu’s mood melt away.
“Good now that we’re leaving.” Giyuu is out the gate with Sabito following close behind. He is quiet walking down the pathway, brows furrowed and worrying his sleeve. Sabito wants to know what’s wrong, this isn’t the normal comfortable silence between them. He just can’t bring himself to ask, it can be hard talking to Giyuu and hard getting Giyuu to talk to him. So the only choice is to wait until it all spills out. Or its bottled up and pushed it aside.
Their steps fall in unison on the stone slabs that pave the way down to the main road. The day is beautiful. The sky is a bright blue, the heat of the sun is offset by a nice breeze, and the countryside is in full bloom. The air is full of something sweet mixed with the crispness of nature. The countryside has never seemed more appealing and Sabito thinks he understands why Ubayashiki stays so far from civilization.
They hit the main road sometime ago and now that they’re making their way to town The wind has picked its victim. Bits of leaves are getting stuck in Sabito’s hair and a bug or two has flown up his nose. But Giyuu is still picture perfect.The wind catches his clothing and sweeps his bangs. A calloused hand coming up to push loose strands behind his ear. It’s effortlessly cool. Giyuu flounders when he tries, always stiff when he thinks people watching. But the moment he’s comfortable he’s got the grace of a thousand dancers.The pensive look on Giyuu’s face is highlighted by the midday sun, and the unconscious need to get a closer look settles in Sabito’s mind.
“Sabito,” Giyuu looks up at him, gently grabbing his sleeve. His voice is quiet, but firm. The sound of his name stirs something indelible. They don’t stop walking, but they don’t look away from one another. Giyuu’s eyes look a little more resolute than they did before. Even in the wind he can feel the heat of Giyuu’s hand so close to his own. Sabito can feel his heart beating out of his chest. Sabito feels fear. Sabito feels he has fallen in love. “Don’t you think it should have been you?”
It takes a second for him to process, brow slowly folding in itself.
“Me who what?”
“Who became the Water Pillar.”
Irritation sets in quick, followed by exasperation.
“No.” Sabito lets the irritation bleed into his voice. He is content to leave it at that, but Giyuu always pushes.
But apparently not today.
“You think I deserve it.” the words are quiet, but solid, like he’s accepted it. But Giyuu is staring daggers into the road in front of them.
“I do.” Sabito coos as he watches him from the corner of his eye. Sabito feels his heart running away again. He likes saying those words to Giyuu. I do. I do think you deserve it. I do want you to have it. I do think you deserve more. I do, I do, I do. Giyuu has released his sleeve, but he hasn’t moved away. Their hands are still close and Giyuu is nice shade of red, almost in competition with his haori. “But sometimes. I wish it were me.”
“Why?” Giyuu’s voice trembles, he’s shaking and staring wide-eyed in Sabito’s direction.
The wind blows, the trees rustle, and birds chirp. The sound of nature fills the void of the conversation for a while.
“I’m afraid something might take you away from me.” Sabito stops, shocked, his voice catching him off guard. It’s full of emotion, something he can identify, but doesn’t want to delve too deep into. Giyuu’s eyes bulge wide and his jaw tenses. He’s viciously red and looks like he’s never been more uncomfortable in his life. Something in Sabito wants to backtrack, but the way his heart is beating tells him he absolutely cannot. To explain it away would be to deny himself and to lie to Giyuu. Something he can’t even begin to bring himself to do. The silence is stifling, the trees swish softly in the wind, and Giyuu is still staring at him like he’s grown another head.
Sabito clears his throat, straightens his back, and throws himself head first into the feeling.
“C’mon let's go. If you don’t move we can’t have some fun before you’re called off.”
Sabito’s moving on down the road and it takes a moment, but Giyuu follows close behind. The silence is comfortable once they’re a little further down the road.
They made it to town sometime after sunset. The buildings are huge and everything is lit up and bursting with energy. The streets are packed despite the late hour and, luckily, there's plenty to do. Sabito made up his mind sometime during the trip to show the man his finer qualities. He may not be able to speak on his feelings, but there’s no rules against a little discreet wooing.
He convinces Giyuu to choose a spot for dinner. The Water Pillar picks a cute little shop tucked off on a corner street. Low light, cozy, quiet, and cramped. A glance at the menu confirmed his worst fear, It’s pricey, but Giyuu’s taste has always been a little on the expensive side. It might set him back a few months in savings but there’s nothing too good for his favorite pillar. Sabito insists on handling it, on handling everything they my might do tonight. Giyuu tries to split it down the middle, but there’s really no beating out Sabito once he’s made up his mind. So they sit and they chat over a little liquor.
Sitting across from Giyuu is like heaven. The table is tiny and their legs brush against each other more often than not, Giyuu smiles at him every time. Whatever they’re drinking is too good. He hasn’t seen Giyuu smile this much since they were teenagers. Sabito feels like he’s floating, relishing in the little chuckles coming from across the table and the light flush crawling its way across his partner’s cheeks. The wait for their food doesn’t seem as bad if he can keep getting those giggles out of him. They’ve finished their first bottle by the time food actually hits the table.
The waitress politely excuses herself and the first thing he notices is Tomioka grimacing at his bowl and then glancing back at his.
“No.” Sabito is already on the defensive, protecting his plate from prying eyes “Send it back.”
“I can’t call her back.” Giyuu sighs.
“Then I’ll call her.”
“Don’t...It’s busy…” Giyuu whispers, glancing between Sabito and the plate he’s protecting. Sabito looked around. All the tables may be filled, but there’s only a handful of people in the building the place is so small.
“No. Tell her it’s wrong.” Sabito holds his ground, staring down the man in front of him. Giyuu stares right back.
Makomo once told him that Giyuu was a pampered brat and an extra spoiled one at that. Sabito didn’t really understand it at the time. They were all raised the same way. No special treatment or preference. Whatever brattiness Giyuu still had in him was beaten out during training. There would be no whining, crying, or untoward behaviour under Urokodaki’s watchful eye and by extension, Sabito’s. But he’s come to find that it never really went away. Only redirected. To his senior. Who, outside of battle, tended to be awfully lenient young man.
“You’re a child.” Sabito grinds out snatching up Giyuu’s bowl. Giyuu looks happy, slowly pulling Sabito’s plate to the middle of the table.
“We can share.” Giyuu says, immediately picking apart Sabito’s meal.
“You don’t want to share,” Sabito says placing the bowl in the middle of the table “You just want your way. What did you actually order anyway?”
Giyuu shrugs.
“I thought you could hold your liquor better than that.” Sabito gripes digging through whatever rice dish the kitchen managed to dream up.
Giyuu has the nerve to look guilty while taking chunks out of Sabito’s meal. Sabito continues to grouch for the next couple of minutes over the loss his meal.
There’s a foot prodding at his ankle with some intent. Sabito can only be childish for so long, but he wants to hold on to this one.
“What?”
Giyuu is silently loading fried meat on to the bowl in the middle of the table. The liquor is slowing his thought process, but in front of him is 3 strips of fried pork on a bowl of rice. Generous as ever. He can’t help but laugh.
“Throwing me scraps?”
“Scraps? This is my thanks to the Protector of Common Folk such as myself.” Giyuu’s turning red, he’s tense and won’t even look in his direction. Sabito loses it. The laugh comes from deep in his gut and Giyuu looks more than a little pleased with himself. Giyuu is lucky he’s stunning in every light he’s ever seen him in or he might have actually told him how bad his joke was.
Sabito is still wiping his tears away.
“The Protector of Common Folk wants to go before he has his bird pluck your pretty eyes out.”
Sabito isn’t sure what’s come over him today, maybe the liquor, but the sound of Giyuu hacking up a lung is only slightly concerning.
When the waitress comes by to pick up the check and Sabito is practically beating rice out of Giyuu’s system, she notices.
“He’s real red. A bit like his haori. He gonna live?”
They’ve been strolling in silence long enough to sober up and everything is a lot more somber than Sabito thought it would be. He thought he would be satisfied with just this, just showing Tomioka a good time. But the feeling, Love, has been identified. Each box has been meticulously ticked over the past decade or so in each other’s company. His palms sweat, his heart races, he can’t seem to hold his tongue in front of his intended. Everything has fallen into place. It seems like the most natural course of action. To spend time together. To say I love you. To say marry me. But it’s been weighing on him. Life is so unsure in the Demon Slaying Corps. Sabito may not be a pillar, but he’s just as strong. He spent his years prior to the corps perfecting his craft and if it weren’t for the fact that Giyuu was so much more suited for the position he might be a pillar too. Giyuu IS a pillar and rightfully so. He’s a genius so specialized in his breath he developed his own style. He’s strong, capable, smart, and incredibly dangerous under almost any circumstance. They’re both strong, but it's still not enough even being the best of the best isn’t enough to guarantee your life. Even in their case the lowest ranking lower moon can still kill you if you slip even for a second. Strength only means stronger enemies. How can you tell someone you love them if you’re not even sure you can return to them alive
In truth, he knew. He’d known for a while he was in love with the Water Pillar, but he couldn’t bring himself to be that selfish. If he loved Giyuu and by some miracle Giyuu loved him back. Then all that is left is the stress of worrying about one another. Will you return to me in one piece? If you don’t can I find the missing pieces? All men die, but how long can I love you before you do?
The drama is killing him. There’s no way to know if Giyuu does love him. He won’t bring it up, at least not anytime soon, and frankly Giyuu is probably keeping up with him out of necessity. He doesn’t have a lot of friends. It’s hard for him to socialize and Sabito is probably the only thing keeping him from a self-imposed isolation. Sabito is all he’s got outside of the insect pillar and the new kids.
“Would you quit chasing demons for someone you love?” his voice sounds foreign and he can feel something heavy settle in his stomach.
“Absolutely not.” Giyuu says it so easily. There’s no change in his mood. There air is still warm around him and he’s still trudging down the street looking at kiosks. It’s just a plain truth.
“Why?” Sabito knows why. The same reason he wouldn’t. If Giyuu were to ask him the same question he would have reacted the same way. He’s not sure why it's affecting him this way, but he still feels like his knees are going to give out.
“What kind of lover would I be if I let my darling live in danger knowing I could do something about it?” Giyuu’s staring at the ground, but there’s no change in behaviour. No embarrassed flush. There’s a feeling of hopelessness settling in Sabito’s stomach, he would never ask Giyuu to stop hunting demons for his sake, but still something about his answers makes his stomach churn. Giyuu’s straightforward personality is something to be admired and resented all at once. For once, it’s uncomfortable and Sabito isn’t sure how to deal with it.
So he deflects.
“DARLING?” Sabito cackles out, slinging an arm around his partner and reeling him in close “My, My, Giyuu, I didn’t know you were such a gentle lover! You’ve got some practice in, huh? Darling~!”
Sabito is drowning. The handful of Giyuu’s haori he has is soft, softer than it's ever been in his entire life. And the way darling rolled off his tongue? He might not recover.
Giyuu is blushing for the umpteenth time today. Pushing at Sabito’s chin and desperately trying to make space between his face and Sabito making exaggerated kissing noises at him.
“We are in the middle of the street!” Giyuu grinds out finally managing to cover up Sabito’s face.
Sabito’s voice is mockingly low and sultry “It’s alright, my love. Just long enough to make the women jealous.” Sabito is back to his exaggerated smooching pulling him in tighter. Giyuu’s mood sours immediately.
“I’m not here to help you trap women.” his tone is harsh as he pushes out of Sabito’s arms. A couple of steps away there’s a dark face staring back at him. Tight, tense, and very unhappy. Sabito can tell from the way Giyuu’s fists are balled up at his side, he has to clean this one up.
“I— KAW!!!!!”
Sabito has never once in his life thought about gutting his crow. Not even when he was dead starving in the middle of the woods. But then again his crow has never made itself the worst kind of nuisance.
“SABITO,” the birds flapping is insistent and distressed “HEAD WEST, FOR A TOWN IN THE MOUNTAINS!! CAW!!!”
The look on his face is enough to get the bird to quiet down. His priority still looks like he hasn’t decided whether or not he wants him dead.
“Gi—”
“You should go. Perhaps there’s a damsel in distress out west for you.” Giyuu says, turning on his heel. He can see Giyuu’s figure shrinking, now is the perfect time to unleash unbridled hell on a bird.
“Have you ever thought about being a more likable person?” Shinobu asks over her teacup.
Giyuu has learned to take what Shinobu says in stride, but today she’s relentless.
“I’m being vulnerable just like you said.” Giyuu says, hunching over his tea.
“I didn’t mean with me, I’m not your mother.” Shinobu sips some more of her tea. The butterfly estate is calm today. It’s a beautiful day out just like the day he’d had his argument with Sabito. Tanjiro is resting after some completely preventable injury he’s obtained and it’s the perfect excuse for pay back. Harassing Shinobu in return is a rare treat he allows himself, today is as good a day as any. They’re having tea out on the engawa in relative silence.
“Isn’t there anyone else you could have talked to about this? I can’t believe I have to listen to your boy troubles of all people.”
That one catches Giyuu off guard. Boy troubles.
“You’re blushing.”
“I am not.”
“You’re like a child. You’re red just like your haori.” Shinobu snorts. Petulant as ever Giyuu cuts his eyes and sips his tea. “Have you two spoken at all?”
“I thought you weren’t interested?” Giyuu mocks, sipping more of his tea.
“Oh, I’m sorry Mr. I’m-being-vulnerable. Are we past that now?” Shinobu says, sarcasm dripping from her voice. There’s very little actual malice in Shinobu’s voice, but it still makes Giyuu feel a way. He sniffs and continues to quietly sip his tea. He can tell Shinobu is just waiting for him to drop the game.
A couple of minutes pass before he gets tired of it too.
“No.”
“And why not?”
“I want him to say something first.”
“So you’re too scared to say anything, right.” Shinobu sounds smug over her tea.
That one stung.
“I feel like I overreacted. I’m sure he was just being nice and I know he was only joking.”
“I have never once jokingly said that someone had pretty eyes with half a bottle of liquor in my system. I have also never jokingly told someone that quote I am afraid something might take you from me unquote.”
Reasonable.
“You don’t understand.” Giyuu sighs, setting his teacup on the low table next to him.
“The nuances of a relationship between two dumbasses? I hope not.” Shinobu’s smile is ever present as she pours herself more tea.
“Don’t call him that.”
“Or you’ll try to beat me to death in my own home? Just like Sabito tried with Shinazugawa? How could you? After all I’ve done for you!” Shinobu is laughing at him behind her cup of tea.. “Idiots do tend to flock together. When will you go to him?”
“Don’t make it sound like a bad novel.”
“Didn’t you come into my house and practically throw yourself into my chair moaning and whining about how love sick you are?”
Leave it to Shinobu to make it sound worse than it is.
“I only said that I needed advice.”
“And then proceeded to give me your sob story about how much a boy makes your heart race, but he must love another. Some woman, you, his best friend, have never met before.”
“Why would he ask me if I’d stop hunting for love?”
Shinobu is smiling at him, the untrained eye wouldn’t be able to see the murderous intent behind it.
“I wish I had a beautiful woman who would wine and dine me on her hard earned dollar and tell me that my beauty was unrivaled under the moonlight. I’d run naked through the fields for her if she asked me nicely.”
“He said it was to make them jealous.”
“Nothing gets past you now, does it, Tomioka-san.”
They sit in silence for a while, sipping tea and enjoying the day.
“Where’d he get that haori of his from? It looks pretty expensive. What’s it feel like?”
Giyuu thinks back to the fistful of sleeve he had on their way to town.He’s had the same kimono since they were kids and when he started killing demons he’d turned into a haori.
“I don’t know. He’s had it for as long as I’ve known him.” Giyuu rubs his fingers together, the thought of Sabito’s sleeve is on his mind. “It’s a little battered, but it still feels nice.”
“Mm.” Shinobu takes a bit of her biscuit, staring off at one of the children pulling laundry from the lines “Would you wear it if he asked you too?”
They switched clothes all the time when they were younger. Sabito always talked about how soft his was. Even when he trained in it, ran down the mountain, and landed back first in the mud. It only got softer and softer with each wash. In contrast, Sabito’s was a bit rough and battered, but it never failed to keep him warm. Up in the mountains were warmth was paramount, Sabito’s haori always offered the safety of being warm enough for the both of them. But after Final Selection, when Sabito gained a few inches over him and began to fill out his uniform, they fell out of it.
Giyuu’s bird is practically battering him with its wings. Pecking and pulling at his hair clothes for him to get a move on to the next location. Some place in too much peril for him to let his mind wander about loving and being loved.
He bids his farewells Shinobu and readies himself for his next adversary.
The panic that set in was immediate. Sabito hadn’t heard from Giyuu in some days after their spat, but it was fear that kept him from reaching out in the first place. Sometimes Giyuu needs space. It never happened before, but it seemed like now he needed some space from him. So he asked. The new kids told him he left the butterfly estate for a job. They hadn’t heard from him either, but they never hear from him. Makomo was in the dark as well.
It was sometime around the week and a half mark that Tengen popped up with half of Giyuu’s haori in his hand and pointing him in the direction of the Butterfly estate.
Sabito’s never ran faster in his life.
He’d managed to fail Giyuu yet again. Whatever tore his haori in two looks like it was trying to tear him apart. Like it was doing its best to kill him and damn well succeeded. Tengen told him it was bad. Sabito had no idea. Didn’t even know where he was until it was far too late. Now that he does have a location it feels like he can’t breathe. He can’t feel his chest and his knees almost give out on him with each step he takes.
When he tears through the front door of Shinobu’s home it’s late and he’s causing a ruckus. A young girl scolds him and he has to physically hold himself back from bolting down the hallway. She winds up leading him to where Giyuu is and none too gently reminds him that he can and will be ejected if he makes any more racket before closing the door behind her.
Giyuu is wide awake and staring right at him, he looks like he hasn’t slept in a while and like he isn’t quite ready to face Sabito. The moon is shining through the curtains and it makes Giyuu look pristine. The other half of his haori is lying on the sheets in front of him and the stark white of the bandages wrapped around his arm is in deep contrast with the wine red of the fabric.
Sabito is on him before he even realizes it, wrapping Giyuu up in a tight hug. Relief washes over him. Being faced with the reality that he could lose him at anytime is soul crushing. To see him scared and bandaged and gaunt from near death is hellish. Sabito’s own sobs are muffled as he noses his way deeper into Giyuu’s hair. He’s sure he’s hurting Giyuu. He doesn’t mean to, but he can’t seem to tear himself away. Not when he can hear Giyuu’s sobs mingling with his own, he’s clinging to him like he’s been waiting for him for days, face pressed into the dirt and grime of his neck.
“I love you.” Giyuu sobs, low and naked “I can’t stop hunting demons for you and I can’t promise I will come back to you alive. But I love you and I’ll always try.” he’s pushing his way into Sabito’s space. Pressing as close he can regardless of how painful it is.
Sabito is on the verge of another round of tears. He and Giyuu are sniffling like children each other’s arms and Sabito thinks he can let go. I might be hard to talk, but if Giyuu is ready, then so is he.
“Sabito.” he whispers his voice sounds pained and weak “Tell me you love me too.” His breathe is coming more and more frantic, his fist bunching tighter in Sabito’s Haori “Tell me you want me even if I don’t stop hunting. Tell me you’ll love me eve—”
“I love you.” It feels good saying it. He’s raining down kisses on any space he can find. Clutching him tighter and tighter to his chest. “I love you more than life itself, but if you say something stupid I am going to make your stay here a touch longer.”
The sniffles still come but Giyuu finally relaxes his grip on him is strong, even with the state that he’s in.
“Don’t say that.” Giyuu forces out. He’s practically crawled into his lap.
“Don’t say what?” Sabito asks, gently petting Giyuu’s hair. He never noticed how long it was until today.
“That you love me more than life itself. I don’t like it.”
“It doesn’t matter what you don’t like, it’s the truth. This can’t happen again. I need to be with you.”
“No.” Giyuu grunts out settling himself into Sabito’s arms. “I’m an adult I can take care of myself. People need you. You need to live. Worry about yourself more.”
“And I need you. The people won’t like me much without you.” I don’t know if I’ll be able to live without you.
“Then slit your stomach out of respect after you take revenge.”
He can’t hold back the chuckle. Slippery brat.
“Oh my, Mr. Tell-Me-You’ll-Love-Me-Even-In-Death, did the melodrama leave you all you all at once?” Giyuu taking a chunk out of his neck only hurts a little bit.
It takes a little doing, but he’s managed to get them in a comfortable position laying down. Exhaustion hit them all at once and there’s a comfortable silence for a while.
“I’ll go where the bird takes me, but I need to stay close to you.”
Giyuu hums. Only half listening.
“We should find some place nice, maybe out in the sticks. It’s nice out where Ubayashiki lives, but I don’t want to be too close to him. Maybe close to Urokodaki-sensei” the arm around his waist squeezes a bit tighter. It’s a shame he can’t see Giyuu’s face.
When he wakes up Sabito is already gone, but Shinobu is there, practically vibrating in her seat.
“Tea?”
“What is it.” Not a headache this early in the morning.
“I have a gift for you. Courtesy of your self-appointed guard dog. He was rushed along by his crow this morning, but he did ask Aoi a favor before leaving.”
“So?”
“Aren’t you going to ask me what it was?”
“Are you going to hold my gift hostage if I don’t?”
Shinobu’s eyes only continue to twinkle and as she patiently waits.
Giyuu groans
“What was it?”
“He asked Aoi to stitch your haori together.”
Shinobu stands and right on the back of her chair is his haori. And Sabito’s. Spliced together neatly, right down the back seam. It looks none the worse for wear. Giyuu’s blush is fierce. He’s never been more embarrassed in his life, how is he supposed to where this in public.
“He’s a little forward don’t you think?” Shinobu says pulling a second one folded neatly underneath her chair. “The note he left says to deliver this one to him on Mount Sagiri once you're better. Oh, look! He even calls you darling right here.”