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"Why are you staring at me, Fullmetal?" Roy asked, not even bothering to look up from the paperwork he was (supposed to be) working on. He tapped his gloved fingertips impatiently against the top of his desk as he waited for Ed's answer, finally lifting his head to see why the blond wasn't responding.
Edward had pointedly turned his face away from Roy's direction, though the Colonel could detect a light flush developing on the boy's cheeks.
Roy sighed dramatically. "I can make it an order for you to tell me, Fullmetal."
The blond twitched awkwardly, keeping his gaze away from his commanding officer.
"Fine then. Until you tell me what's so fascinating about me that you just have to stare at me, then you're not allowed in my office or to look at me elsewhere. And don't think that means you can get out of handing in reports, either. Hawkeye is very strict about filing paperwork on time, so I'd suggest you present yourself in a more respectable way when you report to her about your missions. Until the time comes when you stop being so damn stubborn, and, quite frankly, unnerving, don't come near me. Understood?" The black-haired man leaned forward in his seat, resting his chin on his palm as he returned Edward's initially-shocked look with one of his smug "I'm your superior so don't mess with me or else I'll snap and torch you to charcoal" stares.
Tightlipped, Ed nodded curtly and swiftly left the room, already following orders by not even glancing in Roy's direction.
The Colonel blinked. This was one of the first times Ed had actually followed orders without making some theatrical overreaction as to how his superior officer was so stupid, how his superior officer didn't know what he was doing, how his superior officer was always too lazy not doing paperwork to know anything about real life, and countless other pointless insults, that basically stated that Roy was unfit to be in control of a military unit. And besides that, it wasn't even an order he could easily enforce. Why did Ed always have to choose the meaningless orders to follow without question?
-+-
"Something wrong, Nii-san?" Al asked, looking up from a research book he was reading in the military dorms.
Ed growled, stomping over to his bed, the look on his face promising severe death to anyone that bothered him. "…damn man finally noticed…" he grumbled, only a few words understandable in the gibberish that spilled forth from his mouth. "…didn't even catch on…" he continued, waving his hands emphatically in the air. "…so stupid I don't even know why I…that damn man…had to freakin' order me to stay away from him…how the hell does he have that much power over me…!" The blond continued to rant, every so often screaming into his pillow to release his frustration.
The suit of armor that was Alphonse Elric only nodded in simple understanding. "We're discussing him again, aren't we, Nii-san?" he asked, gently prodding his older brother to confide in him. Actually, private conversations about Roy Mustang were not uncommon in the Elrics' dorm. Al was, at first, surprised to learn about his brother's feelings, to put it lightly, for the older man. What had started out as a simple "I-hate-Roy-Mustang-because-he's-such-an-idiot" rant had turned into an "Al-I-think-I'm-having-inappropriate-thoughts-about-Mustang-and-I-don't-know-what-to-do-since-Mustang's-such-an-idiot" love confession. And since then, Al had been subjected to torture, noticing Ed's sudden mood swings when the subject of the Flame Alchemist was involved.
"You know what he did?" Ed bellowed, punching a wall to put emphasis on his anger. "He had the nerve to order me to stay away from him because I kept staring at him! I mean, it's not like he was doing anything important anyways…you'd think a man like him would be used to attention…"
Al thought a bit, wanting to wait until his brother calmed down before broaching the subject and speaking in Roy's defense. "Um, Nii-san. I think Mr. Mustang was a bit unsettled because it was you he was receiving attention from. I mean, wouldn't you be a bit freaked out if he suddenly started taking an interest in you for no reason?"
"I have a reason," Ed bit out. "And, I guess I'd be a bit curious if Roy started acting like he liked me, but underneath that-"
"Nii-san, don't," Al warned. "I don't need to hear your fantasies," he near-whispered, still embarrassed at such topics. He was an innocent in that regard. Awkwardly, the younger Elric scratched his neck nervously, forcing out a short chuckle. "Is that what you were doing when you were visiting the Colonel today? Fantasizing about him?"
Ed shrugged one shoulder, the deep blush on his face giving him away. "It's not like I can help it," he mumbled. "It's just when I see him, I feel…I feel…" He thought for a moment, scrunching up his face in his concentration. "I can't put it into words, Al, but when I look at Roy, something happens and…"
Al shook his head, knowing it was useless to stop this conversation from continuing. Al was the only one Ed could talk to about such things, as the Fullmetal Alchemist was too preoccupied with keeping up his volatile and anti-mushy image in public.
Such torture Al had to undergo. Ed being sentimental. About Roy Mustang. Roy Mustang. The thought of such a man being the one to evoke such sappiness in his otherwise emotionally-stolid older brother was enough to deeply upset the younger Elric.
-+-
"And this one is where she's helping Mommy in the kitchen! See how her face is all covered in flour? Doesn't she just look adorable? She's a natural born baker, Edward, I can already tell…" Maes Hughes sighed blissfully, dropping a kiss on the picture of his beloved daughter.
Edward blinked, trying to appear interested. Apart from being bored to death from hearing Hughes explain about that one picture to him seven times in five minutes, the blond had been trying to snatch a glance at Mustang, but the infuriating man had suddenly decided he liked his office. So his attention was a bit diverted as he craned his neck, turning his head in a full circle as his golden eyes scanned the cafeteria for the man he so desperately wanted to see. Even if just to look at from afar; that would be enough. For now, maybe.
Hughes blinked, seeming to notice that his victim…er, younger friend, was mentally distant. "Hey, Ed," he drawled, poking Ed's forehead with his index finger. "Where's your mind run off to?"
The blond shrugged, disinterested. He dropped his eyes to the table, not wanting to look Hughes in the eye. As annoying as soldier may have been, he was incredibly sharp when it came to examining details. He was one of the best in the Investigations Department, after all. And knowing this, Ed didn't want to let on his feelings towards Roy. Maes and Roy were best friends, so it was only assumable that the family-man would try to interfere. Probably with his most-treasured camera.
Wait a minute. Camera. That device that snapped photographs and allowed you to look at someone while you couldn't actually see him. Him, in Ed's case, being Roy. And thus, Ed's favorite object became the camera that afternoon.
The only problem was that the young alchemist couldn't get near enough Roy to take a picture. Meaning he'd have to convince someone intelligent and who was trained in camera-use, and who was close to Roy, to take pictures of Mustang for his own personal album. Ed's stare immediately swiveled back to Hughes's face, who was still waiting for an answer from the prodigy sitting across from him.
Oh no. Nuh-uh. Not gonna happen. Hire Maes Hughes to snap pictures of Roy Mustang for Edward Elric's own emotional fantasies? What an absurd idea!
…And yet, one Ed was willing to try, being as desperate as he was to catch a glimpse of Roy after having been ordered to stay away from said man.
"Say, Hughes?" he asked, leaning forward across the table to speak privately with the other man. "How would you like to do an odd job for me…?"
"Will it help you with your mission?" Hughes asked, following Ed's lead by keeping his voice down. At Ed's fervent nod, he continued, "What have thou need of my services, Ed?" with a goofy grin on his face.
Ed smirked. "The first thing I need you to do is not ask questions. Secondly, I need…photographs. Of a certain…person. And you're not supposed to let him catch on that he's having his picture taken, okay? That's important. Don't let him know. And if, in any case, he figures it out, my name does not come up. Are we clear?"
Hughes nodded slowly, most definitely confused by this point. "And the person I'm stalking for you is…?"
"Mustang."
Hughes choked on dry air, so surprised was he by Ed's request. "But, why Roy? I mean, I know-"
"Number one rule, Hughes. Don't ask questions. Remember? You agreed to the terms," Ed pointed out, panicking in case the other figured out his secret. Letting his younger brother in on his deepest secret was one thing, but anybody else? Er, no.
Shoulders slumping, Hughes slouched in his seat. "All right. I'll do it for you, Ed. Even though I don't understand, I'm sure you have your reasons. Just promise me you're not going to kill my best friend, agreed?"
Ed nodded, smiling in relief, before slapping down some cenz on the table top. "For your service…and your silence."
Hughes's wicked grin matched Ed's own.
-+-
Roy Mustang tried to shrink into himself as he felt another pair of eyes boring into him. Assuming it was Edward (again), he snapped his head up to remind the younger alchemist of his orders. His dark eyes widened in surprise as he noticed it was his best friend, however annoying and picture-crazy he may be, Maes Hughes. "Hughes, welcome," he greeted, offering the other a smile. "What brings you to my office? Do you have any information regarding the, er, case we've been working on?"
Hughes raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Case, Roy? What are you…? Never mind. No, actually, I'm just here to have a good ol' chat with my best buddy! Plus I have a new batch of pictures for you to see, you know. And funny thing I said 'batch,' because the latest roll of Elysia is of her baking cookies, and Roy, she is just the sweetest thing, excuse the pun," the family-man gushed, going into typical Hughes-mode.
Roy immediately zoned out, the tolerant expression on his face slipping away as the minutes went by. "Hughes, I've seen these pictures sixty gazillion times by now! Get to the point!"
Hughes coughed. "Okay, I will. It's just…Elysia wants to see where I work. And you know children aren't technically allowed on base, but she so wants to see what I do all day, and who I work with. I just thought it would be nice if you could do a few poses for me in your office so I can let Elysia see what the military's like. You know, since I can't bring her with me and all…" The bespectacled man sweated, hoping his obvious lie wasn't thattransparent.
The Colonel blinked, clearly not expecting that. "Why does everyone want to look at me lately?" he mumbled, a bit too loudly since Maes overheard.
"Who else…?"
"Fullmetal has been staring at me nonstop lately. I finally ordered him to stay away from me until he learns to control himself and tell me just why he can't look away," the Flame Alchemist grunted, standing in front of his desk and holding his fingers in snapping position. He tilted his head towards Hughes's camera, smiling sexily, as he was best at doing.
Hughes sighed in relief that Roy wasn't questioning his motives. He did wonder why Roy used that expression for the picture, but he figured it was just habit. Roy always did have to look devilishly handsome when he made a public appearance, even if it was just a simple home photograph. "Er, Edward?" he asked after snapping a couple shots from different angles. Speaking of Ed, the blond would most definitely appreciate that expression on Roy's face…
"Yeah…" Roy trailed off, quickly looking anywhere but Hughes's face. "I just wish he'd tell me why he can't look away from me. If he told me, then maybe I'd be able to do something."
Hughes was silent, but the silence was all the answer Roy needed to continue.
"I mean, it's heartless of that damn boy to lead me on like that, but. It's just." The Colonel sighed, showing a real act of faith as he related his feelings towards the Fullmetal Alchemist to his best friend. "I can't stand to have him looking at me when I know it's useless to even hope…and after all, it's no big deal, really. It's just Fullmetal that I…"
"Edward," Hughes corrected automatically, piecing things together in his mind. Ed had been staring at Roy lately, who was confused over his own feelings towards the blond. The younger had been ordered to stop seeing his commanding officer, so he had been hopeless enough to ask him, Maes Hughes, to take pictures of Roy Mustang. It had to be blind love, Hughes decided, his trademark grin back in place.
Roy nodded absentmindedly. "Yes, Edward." He shook himself out of his straying thoughts, piercing his friend with a sharp look. "Tell anybody of this conversation and I'll burn you to ashes, got it, Hughes? And I'll burn all your photographs. One. By. One," he ended threateningly, slowing his words down to put emphasis on the consequences if Hughes should fail in keeping silent.
The non-alchemist only nodded enthusiastically. "Sure, no problem, Roy!" he yelled, before dashing out of the room, his roll of film clutched tightly in his hand.
-+-
As the next few days progressed, Hughes was behind Roy with his camera at every turn. When Roy was in his office making origami out of his paperwork, Hughes was hiding behind the couch, snapping pictures like a crazy man. When Roy ate lunch by himself in the cafeteria before the masses of soldiers arrived, Hughes hid under a table and took pictures from across the room of Roy stuffing food into his mouth, the said food splattering across his face. When Roy was washing his hands in the bathroom, Hughes 'just happened' to be in the same vicinity, reminding Roy of 'Elysia's pictures of Daddy's work' as he frantically snapped picture after picture.
When Roy visited the public library, Hughes positioned his camera behind a bookshelf, being careful to leave the flash option off when the button was clicked. When Roy ate out at a restaurant with a date as a cover-up about his feelings for Ed, Hughestook Gracia and Elysia out to eat at the exact same restaurant. And the fact that he took pictures of Roy two tables down, trying not to be noticed, well, that was just coincidence. Really. And when, at last, Roy returned home and climbed solely into bed (with just enough room for a chibi-Edward to snuggle in his arms, Hughes noticed), the camera-man was clinging outside Roy's bedroom window, clicking the button on his camera to take as many pictures of Roy asleep as he could. Roy drooling was a sight to see, after all. Not to mention Roy tossing and turning in his sleep, a discontent expression on his face (Hughes truly believed all Roy needed was an Edward to help soothe his sleeping habits). Ed could have fun fantasies of comfort with those particular photos…
Yes, it could never be said that Maes Hughes wasn't an expert stalker.
-+-
With as much time as Hughes spent stalking Roy, he soon had enough pictures to fill at least two photo-albums. Deciding to save Ed the trouble, he picked out special custom-made albums with decorative flames sprouting from cartoon hearts (to symbolize love and passion, Hughes reflected) on the cover. On the inside cover, on the 'This book belongs to:' line, Hughes took the liberty of writing "Edward Elric's personalized Roy Mustang Album." With a cackle, he added "Volume One" and "Volume Two" to each book, respectively.
He even arranged all the photographs in the pages, trying to save Ed the nuisance. Wasn't he sweet?
Dropping by the Elrics' dorm when he was finished with the final touches, he left "Volume One" with Alphonse, who greeted him at the door. Hughes ran off as fast as he could after that, wanting to put the next stage of his plan into action. He conveniently forgot Ed's terms from earlier, back when he was hired for the job. There was nobody around who knew he wasn't supposed to tell Mustang...and knowing both sides, Maes felt he could get away only singed after he got the two of them together. So the Eastern Command Center, Colonel Roy Mustang's office, was his goal as he walked briskly along, holding "Volume Two" reverently in his hands.
Al flipped open the cover-page to the photo album. All it took for him to groan was to read that inscription on the front. "Nii-san…" he moaned in exasperation, shaking his head as he left the album on his brother's bed.
During the time that Hughes had been stalking Roy, Ed had been obsessively waiting for his pictures of Roy. Hughes kept promising him those photos, and he seemed increasingly happy as he reassured Edward time and again that he was working on 'Project Mission: Stalk Roy.' By this point, the few days with no results had made the blond a little cranky as he impatiently waited. To say he was ecstatically surprised when he returned home that evening would be an understatement.
"Volume One?" Al asked, pointing to the words on the inside of the front cover. "What does that mean, Nii-san?"
Ed read over the words again, trying to keep his eyes from straying to the picture of Roy with that sexy smirk adorning his face on the opposite page. "Um, I think it means Hughes is going to take enough pictures of Roy to fill me another album. I guess he left this here to tide me over while I wait for more pictures…ya know, I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be happy to have Hughes's pictures under my nose."
"Please tell me you're not going to sleep with that photo album—"
Ed smirked, thinking along the lines of doing the above mentioned activity with the man whose face filled the pages of the photo album.
"—under your pillow," the younger Elric finished.
The smile dropped for a second from Ed's face before reappearing full-force. Sleeping with Roy underneath his pillow had possibilities, after all. He'd take Roy Mustang over money from the tooth fairy any day!
Without answering his younger brother, Ed plopped down on his bed and started to look over the pictures, a crazy light filling his tawny eyes as he soaked up each image. A bit obsessed, maybe, no?
-+-
The following morning, Roy stumbled blearily into his office, sinking into the chair behind his desk. At once, he scrambled to his feet, feeling something a bit off from underneath him. Looking down, he noticed a…striking…photo album lying on his seat. Merely curious, he plucked the album from the seat and let it fall open in his gloved hand, dark eyes taking in the pictures. Of him.
Roy looked back at the cover, wrinkling his nose at the over-dramatic romantic design. He suspected Hughes was not planning on giving this particular album to Elysia, as the message from the front cover clearly screamed "Help! Mush Attack!" And he didn't think Hughes wanted to hook him up with his four-year-old daughter. Besides the idea being plain sick, Hughes knew his feelings for Ed, so…
Things had most definitely been off for the past few days. Roy wondered if it was just because he missed Edward. He had often felt that someone was constantly watching him, though he blew that assumption off as paranoia, convincing himself that he was just imagining the intensity of Edward's attention from earlier.
Sighing, the Colonel flipped through the pages at random, finally coming back to the first page. And the cover page. With the words "Edward Elric's personalized Roy Mustang Album. Volume Two" written boldly at the top.
Roy stared. And blinked. And continued to stare.
As the meanings of the words sunk in, the dark-haired man's eyes widened, his mouth falling open in surprise. And "Volume Two" suggested that Ed had a "Volume One" in his possession, which meant that this thing, whatever it was, had been going on for quite some time.
Frowning, the Flame Alchemist picked up his phone and dialed a certain important number.
-+-
"What happened Nii-san?"
"I dunno," Ed said as he nearly sprang through the door in his haste, his hands subconsciously reaching for "Volume One" of his now most-treasured 'book.' He never thought he'd be one for picture books, him being a teenager now and all…but circumstances changed. Roy changed him. "The Colonel just said that my orders aren't in effect anymore and that he wants to see me in his office. Immediately," the blond added, a quick grin finding its way onto his features.
Al sighed, "Good luck," as the door swung shut behind his older brother. And with 'Edward Elric's personalized Roy Mustang Album, Volume One' clutched in his hands, though the suit of armor highly doubted Ed even realized he was holding the (embarrassing) photo album.
-+-
Roy had to mask his expression as the Fullmetal Alchemist arrived at his office in record time, breathing heavily from the run over. The Colonel's frown intensified; Edward never wanted to see him. Except counting recently, but nothing as bad as the eager display Ed was showing to visit him now…
"What is it, Colonel?" Ed's voice broke into Roy's thoughts, jerking the man back to reality.
Sliding 'Volume Two' across the desk, the Flame made no motion to speak. He let the situation, the album, speak for itself.
Gulping, staring wide-eyed at the book, Ed looked down to his own hands to see that he still held 'Volume One' between his fingers. Rushing over to read the cover page of the album on Roy's desk, his eyebrows crinkled in anger. 'Volume Two.' 'Volume TWO'? Since when has there ever been a 'Volume Two'? "WHAT THE HELL IS THE MEANING OF THIS, MUSTANG? HUGHES NEVER GAVE ME A 'VOLUME TWO'…"
A predatory smile slipped onto Mustang's face. "Hughes, Edward? You hired Hughes to stalk me and take pictures of me while I was sleeping? Are you that obsessed with me, Ed? Be honest this time, Fullmetal." Still smirking, he leaned back in his seat, happy to see Ed so flustered.
Ed sighed, plopping his own album on top of the one on Roy's desk. "Well, if you've seen the album, then you can probably figure it out. Go ahead, Mustang, laugh. I can take it."
Roy shook his head. "No, Ed. I want to hear you say it. And you still owe me an explanation about how you find me so fascinating, if I remember correctly. You shouldn't even still be in this office since you haven't done that, yet. It was part of the terms of your orders."
The blond blanched, letting all his emotions show on his face for a split-second. Groaning in defeat, he shouted, "Fine, Mustang! I do find you fascinating; I don't know why, and it bugs me, but I do and I'm confused! Happy now, bastard? I love you, you bastard, and you're too thick to even notice that I stare at you because I can't get enough of you! The pictures were to help me sate my obsession of you, but they just mock me by telling me that I'll never have you…Yeah, I hired Hughes to take those pictures for me. What of it? Aren't I allowed that luxury? To be able to stare at your face every night before I go to sleep, even if it's not really you?"
"Would you like it to be?" Roy asked, letting a satisfactory smile show on his face.
"Wha-what?" Ed gasped.
Still grinning, Roy continued, "Because it could really be me that you stare at, Ed. I just wanted to know your reasons behind everything. Though I suppose the extent of your obsession, these photo albums, speaks for itself. C'mere, Edward. And I will make that an order if I have to…"
Ed glared. "You bastard, don't make fun of me like this! This is worse than outright laughing!"
Roy heaved a sigh. Ed always did pick the meaningful orders to complain about. Still, he beckoned the blond to his side, and finally the teen gave up pouting and followed his instructions. Grinning at his success, Roy pulled Ed even closer to him, finally closing the distance between their lips. Ed went limp from the contact, not expecting Roy to make that move. It wasn't a deep kiss, but it was enough for the two alchemists who had watched each other for so long in silence.
-+-
Epilogue Type Thingy
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"And here's your wedding present, lovebirds! Didn't I always tell you married life was bliss? And I had a part in it all…" Hughes spurted with over-dramatic emotions, making people stare at him. "I never thought I'd live to see the day," he said, remembering how Roy had chased him all over the Eastern Command Center the day he and Ed got together, snapping his fingers and threatening his life in the worst way possible.
Edward tore open the gift, looking over the cover. "A…photo album?" he asked, stunned.
"It's of the two of you at random times during your relationship," Hughes spoke up, stars in his eyes.
Roy opened the album, looking over the pictures with a calculating eye. "Hughes!" he fumed, catching sight of one. "We're sleeping in my bedroom in this one! Were you stalking us?"
It was then that Hughes made his abrupt exit, yelling back over his shoulder, "It's what I'm best at, Roy! Stalking and photo-taking!"
Roy raised an eyebrow before turning to his lover. "Ed, did you hire him again?"
And instead of answering, the blond leaned up to leave a lasting kiss on Roy's lips, smirking all the while.