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The theory and actual application of Jaebum's idea of romance often deviates sharply from a certain point in relationships.
His idolisation of eighties movies usually just ends up with him fucking a stranger in the back of his car and then never liking them enough to call again. His desire to have a John Hughes movie love probably messes with his hook-ups more than he realises.
Even so, just once, he wants a Say Anything ending where he does get the girl (or guy).
And yet, his own belief in his ability to have a functional, normal relationship that lasts more than a couple happy weeks is constantly proven wrong in a colourful number of new and discouraging ways; he scrubs off the eyeliner and stares at himself in the mirror and he's still the basketcase. "I want to be good for you," Jaebum says against the curve of Jinyoung's bare shoulder. Jinyoung's not the first person he's said that to, but it is the first time he's said it to his best friend.
Jinyoung won't admit it, but he desperately wishes for a James Cameron movie love; Jaebum knows already that he wants a Sci-fi fantasy wrapped up in romance where there's vibrant blues and pinks and reds, a sinking ship and candlelit portraits and blinding sunlight and every single time he forgets the heartbreak, the lack of a happy ending even by the credits.
Jaebum waits for an answer. He never gets one because Jinyoung's asleep.
.-.-.
Jaebum fucks Jinyoung and three months later they're still hooking up.
Jaebum's always been a careful drunk, so it's especially unexpected when he wakes up after the first time and Jinyoung's the one he sees in his bed. He spends almost an hour staring at the ceiling, not at dark hair and red, parted lips, Jinyoung breathing soft, quiet against his neck, and he tries to figure out whatever it is that happened that resulted in his best friend lying pretty and naked beside him.
Slowly, he remembers Jinyoung's mouth and the tender hinge of his jaw where Jaebum had dug his thumb, how eager Jinyoung was by the time Jaebum got a hand in his pants, had come in barely three strokes after that.
He remembers Mark's house, the party he'd thrown, the blaring music and multicolour lights, talking to Chou Tzuyu at one point and then Jinyoung the next second. Jinyoung, who Jaebum had never seen before in such tight jeans, the jut of his collarbone exposed in a shirt that wasn't his. "You dress up for me?" Jaebum joked, and then they were alone somehow in a bedroom that Mark said they could be in. "I've never seen that shirt before, Jireong."
"Jackson lent it to me," Jinyoung said. He'd been drunk already, dizzy on his feet and clutching blindly at Jaebum. "He said it'd impress you."
"Sure," Jaebum replied, and after that, he can't remember much at all.
.-.-.
The trouble is, even though Jaebum takes care not to royally mess things up, he's just never been very good at resisting offers.
Even if he does want to talk to Jinyoung, his best friend, about what this is, why he'd wanted to impress him that night at the party, if this is what he wants, why Mark's been glaring at him lately... Jinyoung just doesn't seem to want that. What he wants is Jaebum's mouth. His hands, his cock; it feels like something of a trade at this point, Jinyoung's conversation for sex, a means to an end to reel Jaebum in and keep him hooked.
Despite this, Jaebum can't kid himself that fucking Jinyoung is an act of charity. In fact, Jinyoung gets him off first, always does, lets him finish wherever he wants to, and he likes it. He likes watching the line of Jinyoung's throat when he swallows, the doe-eyed look Jinyoung wears so well.
Jinyoung makes it too easy to act as if Jaebum's the one doing favours here.
.-.-.
They go to the movies that weekend. Jaebum swings by Jinyoung's cram-school to pick him up so they can walk together to the theatre. "Your friends are staring," Jaebum tells him. Jinyoung doesn't even look back, just laughs. "They never seen a guy wear eyeliner before?"
"I don't think so, no," Jinyoung says, lets Jaebum put an arm around his shoulders. "I told you the kids at cram-school were snobs."
Jaebum doesn't mention how he knows Jinyoung actually does like them. He appreciates Jinyoung trying to spare his feelings, be on his side all the time. "You know," he starts, changing the subject. "I almost thought you sent me the wrong title by mistake when you texted me earlier. Since when were you into action films?"
Jinyoung makes an indignant noise at that. "Since always," he says. "I loved, um, Transformers."
"Right. I've known you since you were 12, Jireong. You love chick-flicks," Jaebum says, shying away with a grin when Jinyoung jabs at his ribs with an elbow. They end up making it to the theatre a little late, getting distracted along the way with each other, ducking in when it's dark and the advertisements have already finished.
The chairs are the kind where the armrests can be lifted up, Jinyoung's favourite, and he takes full advantage of that to curl up against Jaebum's side. Jaebum keeps a hand on Jinyoung's thigh, against the faded denim but with his fingers brushing the rip above the knee, his bare skin.
For a while, Jaebum does try to pay attention to the movie.
It's good, but not great, and every inhale smells like Jinyoung, sugar sweet and a little citrusy. It's distracting — Jinyoung is distracting, light and warm against him. Jaebum brings his hand further up Jinyoung's thigh, tucks it in at the soft place just above his hip. Jinyoung settles closer, laughs quiet and pleased.
"Hey," Jaebum whispers, and Jinyoung looks at him. Their noses bump, inciting more hushed laughter. "You like the movie?"
"Sure," Jinyoung says, mouth twitching in a quick half-smile. He lifts a dainty hand to Jaebum's face, moves in and kisses him sweet.
When Jinyoung pulls away, Jaebum is left pleasantly lightheaded. "Jireong," he murmurs.
"Shush," Jinyoung says, fits his head against the curve of Jaebum's shoulder. He has one of Jaebum's hands in his lap now, fingers fiddling with the rings on his index and thumb. "This is a good bit."
.-.-.
The only tolerable thing about detention for Jaebum is that usually he can listen to music while doing whatever it is the school instructs him to do for the hour-and-a-half. Today, after violating the dress-code yet again with his piercings, he's sent to shelve books in the library, hidden near the back because he always smiles at the librarian and she likes him well enough to let him work out of sight of nosy teachers.
He's halfway through an old Fall Out Boy album, practically on auto-pilot, when he hears what sounds like his name being called.
Taking out his earphones, he notices immediately that it's Jinyoung's voice, shrill and stressed and coming from the other side of the shelf that he's working on. Before Jaebum can say hello, however, Jinyoung is talking again. "I don't know, hyung," he says, and Jaebum stops. "It's like nothing has changed. At all. He still treats me the same, makes the same jokes, talks the same, is the same — "
"Jinyoung." Jaebum recognises the other voice as Mark. He realises then with a strange feeling that they must be talking about him. "Why don't you just ask him out? You've literally been exclusive for, what, three months now? And I haven't heard that he's been fucking anybody else."
"How can we know that for sure, though?" Jinyoung sounds miserable. "I just. Why wouldn't he fuck other people?"
"cause he likes you?"
"Sure, but you know how popular Jaebum is," Jinyoung persists. "What if I'm just another notch in his bedpost? He could have anyone in the school."
"But he doesn't want them," Mark points out patiently. "He wants you."
"There's no way to know for sure," Jinyoung says. One of them pulls a book off the shelf right beside Jaebum's head and he jerks backwards, not wanting to get caught eavesdropping. "I really, really like him, hyung. And I guess I — I wish I'd have been more forward about it from the start."
"I told you not to listen to Jackson," Mark says, a smile in his voice. His tone quickly drops, more serious when he says, "But it's not too late, you know. Can't you still be forward with Jaebum? He's your best friend, isn't he?"
At that, Jinyoung is quiet for a moment. Jaebum doesn't even realise he's holding his breath until his chest starts to burn.
"He is," he hears Jinyoung say eventually. Quiet, uncertain. "And I think that might be the problem."
.-.-.
That Friday, Jinyoung comes over after cram-school to stay the night.
"Hey," Jaebum says, sees Jinyoung's eyes start to droop halfway through a story about him and Brian and an angry arcade owner. Jinyoung makes a tired noise at that, pressing his face in at Jaebum's neck.
Jaebum looks at the clock. It's late, almost 2AM, and Jinyoung's never been very good at staying up.
Jaebum isn't offended. Just fond, if anything.
"Hmmn?" Jinyoung manages, after a moment, jerking awake. "Wh'as it?"
Jaebum huffs a laugh, presses a hard kiss to Jinyoung's temple. "I've got something to say, sugar," he tells him, kisses at his cheekbone this time. Slowly, Jinyoung blinks open one eye. "You wanna hear what hyung has to tell you?"
Jinyoung shuts his eye again. "Don't tease me," he mutters, lifting the blanket up to cover his face.
"Hey, hey," Jaebum protests, gently tugging the blanket down. "I'm serious, 'reong."
"Fine," Jinyoung says, opening both eyes now. Jaebum has a hand curled under his ribs, uses it to his advantage to push Jinyoung up a little, lean in to kiss him. It's startlingly sweet, tastes like the ice-cream they just had, and Jinyoung relaxes into it easily, always does. Jaebum bites at his lower lip, likes the way Jinyoung's breath stutters at that.
By the time Jaebum pulls away, they're both breathing heavy. He can feel how hard Jinyoung is underneath him, knows he'll do whatever Jaebum asks him to. "You wanna know something?" he says instead, brushes a thumb over Jinyoung's mouth, pretty and red.
Jinyoung blinks a little, clearly still half-asleep. "What, hyung?"
"I like you," Jaebum says, simple, uncomplicated. "I just — I really, really like you."
"Yeah?" Jinyoung says, something in his expression gone impossibly bright at that, eyes now wide and hopeful. "You do?"
"Sure," Jaebum says, certain, and Jinyoung's mouth twitches in an undisguised smile. "I've liked you since Mark's party three months ago. And also since I met you in middle school and you said my hair was ugly."
"I didn't say it was ugly," Jinyoung objects, but a slow flush spreads over his cheeks so Jaebum knows he remembers.
"Okay," Jaebum says back, more than amused, and he tucks himself in against Jinyoung's side. "Whether or not you said it, I still liked you. I just thought I should tell you, 'cause I guess I never did, huh?"
"No, you didn't," Jinyoung agrees. After a moment of quiet, he asks, "Hyung? Where did you happen to be during your detention on Tuesday?"
"Oh. I was shelving books," Jaebum tells him honestly, hiding his face still. Quickly, he changes the subject. "Hey. D'you remember that one time when we were fifteen and I forced you to watch Say Anything with me? And then we did. Three times."
Jinyoung makes a noise. "I remember."
"Yeah," Jaebum says, closing his eyes. He wants to fall asleep just like this, Jinyoung sweet beside him. "I want that for us. I want that ending."
"Okay," Jinyoung says. Jaebum doesn't even have to look at him to know he's smiling. "Okay, yeah. Fine. You gonna hold up a boombox for me, hyung? Wait outside my window?"
"Yes," Jaebum says, and Jinyoung laughs like it's the best thing he's ever heard.