Work Text:
One year. That’s how long Jimin’s had a crush on Min Yoongi. One whole year of hopeless pining. What made things worse, Yoongi was as dense as volcanic rock when it came to Jimn’s not so subtle crush.
The way they became friends was… a journey. They started off as mere online friends, occasionally chatting about music, anime, movies, etc. As the two got closer, they began discussing deep topics such as, their life goals, plans for the future, their fears, insecurities, and even love lives.
They’d grown close over the span of a year, coming up with their own inside jokes along the way. Jimin was there for Yoongi when nobody else would listen to his emotional ramblings. He supported his hyung through so much heartache and loneliness, just as Yoongi had done for Jimin in his times of need.
Jimin was there when Yoongi both got together and broke up with his now ex girlfriend, Si-yeon. Yoongi often came to Jimin for advice on how to deal with Si-yeon’s petty outbursts, or when he simply needed someone to vent to about his pent up frustrations towards the girl. Jimin was nothing but understanding and supportive, listening and giving suggestions where he could.
Though deep down, it made Jimin’s heart ache. He didn’t expect it to happen really, in fact, at the time he had still been wrestling his feelings towards his own ex girlfriend. About a month or so before Yoongi and Si-yeon had started dating, Jimin had developed a tiny crush on his friend. Of course, he brushed it off, thinking it was a temporary feeling because their friendship was new and shiny.
However, as time progressed, that feeling got stronger and stronger by the day. Eventually a sort of tightness began coiling around his lungs, squeezing them incessantly. Again, the blonde ignored it. He shrugged off the yellow and blue hydrangea petals covered in blood he’d find on his pillow some mornings, these instances becoming more and more frequent.
/It will pass./ That’s what he always told himself anyway and after a while, it seemed to hold true. The twinge in his chest died down, petals appearing less and less until there was nothing at all. Things went back to normal, Yoongi messaged him and FaceTimed him just as usual, none the wiser of Jimin’s invisible issue.
Though, that constricting feeling, the dull aching pain in his lungs never truly went away, despite himself. He continued burying deeper into his subconscious, praying it would poof out of existence and spare his mind. He was naive to the consequences of his actions, the harm they could and would eventually bring him.
Time continued to pass, Yoongi and Jimin became even closer. They were a bonded pair some might say, soulmates even. Hell, even one of their mutual friends said they should become of couple, being as they were so close. They talked almost everyday, usually about random things, maybe the occasional life update.
Sure, they had some off days or even weeks. Sometimes, they would go almost a month without speaking and come together again as if no time had passed at all. It was inconsistently consistent, it was their own little rhythm they’d formed and both parties were content.
One day Jimin admitted to having a crush on Yoongi, after being prompted enough by the elder. They awkwardly laughed together and talked about their feelings towards each other, though nothing ever sparked from their discussion. After that day, strange things started to happen to Jimin.
He started thinking about Yoongi more, craving his attention. He yearned to be close to his friend, to touch him. Not to mention the terrible cough Jimin developed soon after.
One time, when Yoongi went off social media for some mental health time, Jimin got irrationally upset about the elders lack of communication. He felt like Yoongi forgot about him, maybe even got bored of him. Jimin was extremely restless those few weeks, constantly checking his texts, hoping that maybe- just maybe Yoongi had messaged him.
Jimin thought he was being childish, getting angry over something he couldn’t control. He discussed some of his feelings with their mutual friend, Seokjin, seeing as he was the most seasoned out of the three of them.
Seokjin also happened to know some of the blonde’s secrets that weren’t so... secret anymore. He teased Jimin at first, reveling at how the younger man squirmed, but ultimately helped him wade through all his confusing thoughts. He became a huge supporting beam in Jimin’s blueprint. He was always there to give advice and crack a joke or two to lighten the mood.
~~
J: Just tell him. He’ll always there as your friend,
so don’t overthink it. Yoongi’s a loving soul,
you know that.
JM: And deep down I know that, but I’m still scared.
JM: I’m afraid things will end up like they did with Si-yeon. I just don’t wanna come off as clingy or abrasive...
JM: I know we’ll be okay and sort things out once we talk, it’s the anxiety beforehand that’s psyching me out.
J: I understand
J: if it’s any consolation, Si-yeon brought some of their
issues into herself with her petty antics .
J: I promise you, that won’t happen to you guys.
You seem to understand each other well enough,
you’ll be able to rationalize things just fine.
He trusts you.
JM: I know… and I trust him too. It’s just- I don’t trust myself.
JM: I fall so hard and so fast for people, a lot of whom have been past friends- which obviously didn’t go so well.
JM: I’ve just been running different situations through my head, to gauge if I’d really be ready for something more with Yoongi-Hyung… does that make sense?
J: Yeah, I getcha. But you can never really
KNOW if you’re ready. Sometimes you just gotta
figure shit out as you go along.
J: But makes sure you know that your feelings
are genuinely romantic, otherwise it could
cause problems down the road.
JM: That’s what worries me. I’m mostly sure, but a small part of me is still scared.
J: Just go with your gut. Think about you two as a
couple, doing fluffy stuff. How does that
make you feel?”
JM: Giddy, happy. I wanna have that type of relationship with Hyung.
JM: I want it all- I want him.
J: Then go get him.
~~
Jimin didn’t go get him though. He continued to suffer, freaking out to Seokjin occasionally, but never broaching the topic with Yoongi. He was petrified, what would the elder think of him? Would he be disgusted? Or would he just laugh it off like last time?
It was bad enough Seokjin wanted to smack them both for basically confessing to each other through text, but shying away. Jimin couldn’t bear another pseudo rejection. Although a small part of him worried that maybe he’d friendzoned and that’s why the two haven’t spoken about it since. When Yoongi has asked why He and Seokjin had been talking so much, Jimin said he couldn’t tell him yet, but promised to discuss everything with him eventually.
Just thinking about the whole situation my Jimin throat itch, a loud bark emitting from his person moments later. A string of coughs followed suit, producing blood and a handful of petals, which had become a regular thing over the course of a month.
Jimin and Yoongi have been friends for close to two years now, closer than twins that were separated at birth being reunited. Though, it’s taken its toll on Jimin’s body. Everyday the coughing, the petals, the blood… it all continuously gets worse.
But the man can’t find it in himself to cease the agony, he’s too scared. In doing this, he started over analyzing everything between them, searching for some sort of sign that he would be safe to confess. Even still, something within his soul refusing to let go. Jimin hates it, he wanted nothing more than to express how he felt toward Yoongi, but not knowing how to. So, he suffered in silence, deciding to wait for the perfect moment. He told Seokjin, maybe around Yoongi’s birthday, but it seemed unlikely.
“I’m hopeless, what am I gonna do.” Jimin groaned into his pillow, snuggling deeper into the sheets. Before he could pull into a peaceful sleep, he was abruptly struck with another coughing fit, successfully staining his beautiful, clean bedding. The blonde sighed, wiping the smear of blood from the corner of his lips. He posted a litany sub tweets, venting his bitterness and sorrows, though he took them shortly after; worried his Hyung might see them and ask questions.
The next few months are hellish, keeping up an innocent facade was none too easy. Though, Jimin couldn’t help but smile every time he received messages from Yoongi. He never ceased to break out into a smile or bursting into laughter every time he chatted with the elder. He felt lucky, happy to be in Yoongi’s life, even if it was as a friend.
Jimin’s friend and roommate, Taehyung, started to worry about him more. He tried to pry an answer out of the blonde, wanting to help him somehow.
“Taetae, please just drop it. I’m fine, I’ll handle things when I’m ready.” Jimin sighed, rubbing a hand tiredly through his hair.
Taehyung crosses his arms, “Obviously you're not fine. Jimin you have the disease, there’s clearly something going on that you’re refusing to tell me.” Tae Hyung looked at the ground, “You’ve been more closed off lately, sleeping more than is considered healthy,slacking off on chores… I’m just worried.”
The blonde narrowed his eyes at his roommate, “Well if you know I have the disease, then you know what caused it!” Jimin shouted, “I’m not ready to open up about it, so I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave it alone.”
Jimin shrunk in his seat just a tad, but never broke eye contact with Taehyung as the other man let his arms return to his sides. He expression was a mixture of hurt and slight aggravation.
“Fine.” Taehyung turned away from his roommate, going back to his room with a harsh slam of his door. Jimin flinched at the sound, looking down at his hands as his vision became blurry.
Jimin sniffled as he returned to his bedroom and curled up in his blankets, crying softly. It was time. After much deliberation, Jimin decided to confess to Yoongi. He chose to do it through text, knowing he wasn’t brave enough to do it on over the phone or facetime. It would also save him the excruciating pain of speaking his truth in between coughing fits.
~~
JM: Hey Hyung, can I talk to you?
YG: Sure Jiminie, what’s up?
JM: Well-
JM: It’s a bit… a lot complicated, so please bare with me.
YG: Of course
JM: Okay-
JM: Remember when I told you I used to have a crush on you?
YG: Yeah?
JM: Well-
JM: I may have... panicked and lied a bit. I felt weird expanding on the topic back then, but I also didn’t want weird tension that could potentially screw up our friendship.
JM: It’s taken a while to come to terms with it, afraid they weren’t real-but over the last few months I’ve been having some… issues. I’ve been super sick all the time, throwing up constantly, feeling like someone is squeezing the shit out of my lungs.Which scared me even MORE because, I’ve always been the kind of person to build walls around my heart and protect myself from getting hurt, keep things super private ya know?
JM: But you… you’ve been tearing all my guards and protections down. I contemplated how/when I was gonna tell you, if ever. As it is, I’m terrified rn, but Jin’s helped me a lot. He’s been cheering me on and supporting me, which has been a huge help. But I realized- I don’t like you as just a friend... I want to openly flirt with you and do gross coupley things. I wanna go on dates together, hold your hand, cuddle, get lost in the city together- kiss you even. I wanna experience it all…
JM: I’m sorry, I know this is a lot to take in and I understand if you need time away to think. I also understand if you don’t feel the same way, but I felt like you should know.It doesn’t feel right to pull the wool over your eyes about this… but I’m open to talk about everything with you more, whenever you’re ready. I hope you don’t think I'm weird or anything :/
YG: Wow…
YG: I didn’t think you saw me like that. Shit- this is a lot.
YG: But that doesn’t mean I'm upset or anything,
you don’t have to worry about that.
YG: I just- need a little time to absorb all the information.
JM: Okay, I totally get it. I’ll leave you be :)
~~
The two didn’t talk for a day or so after Jimin’s confession, which was eating the blonde alive inside. Jin was there, soothing Jimin as much as he could, telling him everything would work itself out and to just give Yoongi time.
The second day after Jimin’s declaration of love, Yoongi asked the blonde to call him. Jimin hesitantly dialed his Hyung’s number, pressing his phone close to his ear when he heard the other line click on.
“Jiminie?”
Jimin hummed, “ Hey Hyung.”
“How are you doing? Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” Jimin laughed, “Though I feel like I should be asking you the same thing.”
Yoongi chuckled, “I’m okay. Still a little shaken up, but okay.”
“I’m sorry…” Jimin murmured
“Don’t apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for.”
“Yeah but- I just kinda word vomited my feelings at you. It wasn’t really fair.”
Yoongi sighed, “ Maybe. but you suffering with the sickness, while I’m blissfully unaware isn’t fair either.”
“I suppose you have a point.” Jimin bit his lips nervously.
“So, about what you told me…” Yoongi started.
Jimin’s grip on his phone tightened and he whispered, “Yeah?”
“I- well-” Yoongi hummed in thought. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel something towards you that was more than platonic attraction.”
Jimin held his breath.
“Okay, maybe I felt a lot of something for you.” Yoongi laughed, which Jimin mirrored.
“I sense a but coming,” Jimin said quietly.
Yoongi let out a small defeated sigh and admitted, “ Yeah… I don’t know I just don’t think I’m ready for a relationship or anything.”
Jimin nodded dumbly, realizing Yoongi couldn’t see him. “No I getcha. I wasn’t thinking about that right now to be honest. I know how you feel about you working on your mental health and romantic relationships at the same time. I didn’t even expect you to feel the same way, that alone is a lot.”
Yoongi chuckled and responded, “ Well, since you put all your chips on the board, I felt it would only be fair if I did the same.”
Jimin smiled to himself. “I appreciate Hyung, really I do.” the blonde choked on a sob, “You don’t know how happy I am.”
“I’m happy too Jiminie, so happy.” There was a long pause before Yoongi asked, “This is probably a weird question, but have you had any more sickness or pain since you told me everything?”
Jimin blushed in embarrassment, “Not really? I mean I had a really bad coughing fit shortly after, but it seemed to be the reminisce of what was left of the flowers.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, what were the flowers?” Yoongi inquired sheepishly.
Jimin giggled, “So curious huh?”
“Hey!” Yoongi shouted, “My best friend- my soulmate was sick and throwing up flower petals because of me. I wanna know what those buggers looked like so I can fight them later.”
“You can’t fight flowers Hyung,” the blonde laughed into the phone.
“Yes I can, just you watch me.”
Jimin wiped his eyes, calming himself down a bit. “They were yellow and blue hydrangea petals.”
“Shit.”
“What?” Jimin asked quickly
“Nothing it’s just…” Yoongi trailed off.
“What? It’s just what?” the blonde pressed,increasingly more worried than before.
“It’s just- those were the flowers that I… ” Yoongi lowered his voice, “That I had been coughing up as well.”
Jimin’s jaw went slack. “Wait what?” the blonde gasped, “Wait! You had-”
“Yeah, I had it too.” Yoongi breathed
“No way, why didn’t you tell me!”
The elder snorted, “Really? You’re really asking me that question?”
Jimin shrunk into himself a bit, “Good point.”
Yoongi chuckled, “I don’t know. I just didn’t know how to tell you what I was feeling, what I was going through. I didn’t want to push you away, so I just kept it to myself I guess.”
Jimin could understand that, after all he’d done the same thing for months. “I understand what you mean.”
They chatted for a while more, cracking jokes and telling stories as if nothing changed. Things didn’t change, at least not negatively. Jimin couldn’t be more happy with the outcome of their conversation and Yoongi felt the same.
~~
Jimin looked around nervously, the crowd around him growing louder by the second. Suddenly, a familiar mop of black hair appeared in his line of view, making his heart skip a beat.
“Hyung!”
As soon as Jimin locked eyes with Yoongi, who whipped his head around at the loud call of honorifics, the blonde made a B-line for the elder.
Yoongi opened his arms, catching his best friend just in time. Jimin nuzzled his face into Yoongi’s neck, sobbing quietly.
“Hey hey, Jiminie it’s okay.” The elder soothed
Jimin clung to the dark haired man, desperately. “I-I can’t believe you’re really here in-in my arms!”
Yoongi chuckled, “Believe it Bub, I’m here.”
The two stood outside the airport terminal for what felt like hours, just holding each other and whispering sweet nothings. When Yoongi did finally pry Jimin’s arms from him, he brought the bouquet of yellow and blue hydrangeas he’d been holding around to the blonde’s face.
Jimin gasped, hand covering his mouth. “Hyung- You…”
“Yeah,” Yoongi laughed, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
“I love them.” Jimin states, gently taking them from Yoongi’s hand and fully it with his own free hand. “Let’s go home.”
Yoongi smiled widely, showing off his pink gums. “Yeah, Let’s go home.”