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Sam is throwing the biggest tantrum Bobby has ever seen. He simply gave up two hours ago and sits by his desk, trying to drown out Sam’s yells and cries in his whiskey. He knows it is not working when Sam bangs on the door again.
“I WANT DEAN! Where’s Dean?!” Sam kneels on the floor and keeps hitting the hard wooden door with his fists. His eyes are puffy and swollen from three days of non-stop crying, weeping and sobbing. His voice is coarse and scratchy but he just goes on calling the only name that matters to him in the entire universe. “W—Where’s Dean…?” He leans his forehead against the door and tears start to trickle down his cheeks again, “I need my big brother… I—I need Dean…” He hits the door with a weak and exhausted bang, “Dean…”
Bobby rubs his temples and squeezes his eyes shut. John left Dean in that boy’s home for almost five days now and he is the one bearing the consequences of John’s ridiculous “education” toward Dean. In the first two days things were smooth after he told Sam that his father and Dean went on a small hunt. Sam was a little upset but he seemed to be enjoying this alone time away from hunting and monsters. Then things went downhill pretty quick when John came to check on Sam without Dean. They had to make things up but Sam was always too smart to get fooled. He knew John was lying. He did not start crying until John left. He curled up on Bobby’s couch, sobbing and whimpering while repeating the whole Dean-doesn’t-want-me-anymore talk. The tantrum came that day at night. Sam begged and pleaded for Dean but all Bobby could do was to tell him Dean would not be back yet.
“Will he come back? Will he?” Sam gripped his shirt and asked frantically. “Is he coming back? When is he coming back? Where’s he?”
Bobby does not believe how strong the brothers’ bond is until this point, because Sam is basically a mess, a disoriented existence without Dean. It is like a planet being forced away from its orbit. He is lost, completely lost and wild and unable to function. Setting his glass of whiskey aside, Bobby picks up his phone and calls John for the tenth time today.
Things do not exactly look good on Dean’s side as well. He likes this normal life but it is not a complete one without his little brother to share it with. Dean won a couple wrestling competitions and did well at school and heck, he even has a girl who is interested in him. But none of the joy of the achievement has ever reached his eyes. A part of him is missing.
For many nights he could not sleep because Sam was not in bed with him and he wished he could feel those warm little hands gripping on his shirt. One afternoon He zoned out when Robin was teaching him how to play guitar. He missed a patch of grass on the lawn while mowing this morning. He just cannot help it. Every step he takes is a little lighter then he expects it to be, because Sam is not there to cling onto his arms or shoulders. Sam is the core of Dean’s heart which keeps him anchored to this world. Sam keeps him from drifting away. Sam, it is always Sam.
So when John parks the car outside of the boy’s home and honks loudly, Dean does not even think twice. He will forever miss this short and valuable slice of normalcy but he will never regret leaving it. For Sam.
Once Dean is out of the door he can see Sam is still playing with the toy airplane he got him last Christmas. When Sam hears the familiar footsteps, he looks up. Dean starts running towards him. Sam gasps and immediately he is out of the car running to Dean as well.
“Sammy!” Dean grabs Sam and swings Sam high up in the air once he touches him. It feels so perfect and right to have Sam in his arms again.
That night when Dean finally has Sam curled up beside him in bed, his head nuzzled against his chest, he knows. He knew this since the first time he held Sam as a baby but now it is clearer than ever. They are never complete without each other. On this road of hunting one never knows what it is to come and that uncertainty shakes Dean to his core. However, he looks down on the sweet sleeping face, Dean is sure that no matter what happens, they are each other’s only safe place to go to.