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There was something different in the air tonight.
Hinata noticed it as soon as the team had left the stadium for the day, dripping with sweat and rivaling the sun with their smiles, he’d noticed it while they approached their hotel, he’d noticed it while all of his teammates bathed and changed and eventually went to sleep, exhausted from the rigor of the day. Tomorrow was the finals, at nationals, of course they would be tired after working so hard.
Hinata’s muscles were aching, his eyelids drooping, his body begging him to crawl under the covers and call it a night like everyone else. But he’d tried that earlier, had laid in bed for nearly two hours, eyes wide and staring at the blank ceiling, only to find that he couldn’t sleep.
Quietly, he’d shuffled out of bed, careful not to wake anyone, and exited the cramped hotel room. His feet had led him outside on their own, steering him in a direction that he hadn’t set out to follow, until he was sitting on a plastic chair on the rickety porch of the run-down hotel. The hollow white of the porch lights illuminated the area he was sitting in, casting its glow on the few empty chairs surrounding him, as well as the dark street leading up to the hotel.
He leaned back in his chair, the dull throb of his muscles present as he stretched his legs out in front of him. Letting his eyes flutter shut, he inhaled deeply. Even breathing felt different tonight.
There was a bubbling inside of his stomach, an anxious kind of thrum, that was threatening to boil over and explode. It wasn’t an emotion that he could pinpoint, just something that went unnamed, although he did know that it kind of made him want to cry and laugh at the same time. Keeping his eyes closed, he tapped his fingers against his thigh absentmindedly, soaking in the feeling of the night.
He curled his toes into his shoes, bizarreness prickling at his stomach, as he listened to the low chirping of bugs and quiet woosh of the cars across the street. There weren’t many of them, because it was late at night, he was sure of it, though he hadn’t checked the clock before leaving the room earlier, but it was soothing to listen to all the same.
Tomorrow would decide so much for them, he mused. “Them” being the team. It still astonished him a bit, to know that he was part of a team, really and truly and honestly part of a team, one filled with all different kinds of people who should not, under normal circumstances, mesh, but who did anyways. A team that was part of something greater than themselves.
His stomach clenched, almost uncomfortably. Appreciation, and almost love, was definitely one of the things swirling about tonight.
The squeak of the chair next to him shook him out of his thoughts.
Snapping his eyes open, he swiveled his head around frantically, and nearly fell off his seat in shock when he saw who was sitting beside him.
Kageyama was slouching in his seat, sleep still etched into the dips of his face, as he gazed blearily ahead. Hinata stared at him, not entirely sure why his stomach was beginning to twist into funny little knots right now, the unusual mood of the night somehow heightened by the depth of the blue eyes he was seeing.
“Kageyama...?” He asked, voice trailing off uncertainly at the end.
Kageyama didn’t really respond, just made a sort of tired grunting noise that Hinata interpreted as acknowledgement.
“Um... What are you doing here?” Hinata said. “Isn’t it really late?”
“Three AM.” Kageyama said gruffly.
“Oh...” Hinata swallowed. Oddly enough, he felt at a loss for words, something he did not experience very often. “Why did you come out here?”
Kageyama followed a car’s path down the street with his eyes. There were crease marks on his cheeks from where his pillow had pressed up against them as he slept, but he seemed alert nonetheless.
“I just woke up and felt like I wanted to go outside.” He replied shortly.
Hinata could empathize.
“Yeah. I couldn’t sleep, because I feel like tonight is just weird, you know?” The words tumbled out of Hinata, rolling off of his tongue so naturally at such a late hour and with such a good friend.
Friend. A bitter word. Hinata brushed those thoughts away. Tonight would only get worse if he thought like that.
“You’re weird, dumbass.” Kageyama said, but it didn’t hold an ounce of venom.
“It’s just... Tomorrow decides so much, you know?” Hinata rattled on as if he hadn’t heard him, too distracted to bite out a retort. “We’ve worked so hard this year, and I know it’s only the beginning for me, but it’s not like that for the third years. Or the second years, even that must be different.”
Kageyama didn’t say anything, though the flash in his eyes indicated that he’d definitely heard Hinata. Hinata took that as his cue to continue, not that he felt like could really stop, even if he wanted.
“Everyone has worked so hard, and winning nationals could propel Karasuno to fame! We’d be like the underdogs! It’d be so cool!” He paused. “And if we lose, I don’t think I could help getting upset about it. I want to see the third years happy and satisfied. I don’t want them to cry tomorrow, and I don’t want to cry, either.”
Hinata looked at Kageyama’s shoe, feeling a bit bashful as soon as the words left his mouth. He wasn’t the type of person that Hinata would normally choose to spill his guts to.
“We won’t lose, dumbass.” Kageyama said.
Hinata started. Kageyama had said it so firmly, so assuredly, so confident in the fact that they were going to win. But that wasn’t what made Hinata jump slightly, or his stomach flutter, or a chill run down his spine. It was the fact that Kageyama had said it so softly, uttered “dumbass” as if it were a term of endearment, rather than an insult. It was the fact that he sounded so fond of Hinata, and of the team, that Hinata found himself suddenly grinning ear to ear.
“If you say so, Kageyama.”
Hinata surveyed the sky in front of him as a small silence settled over the pair. It felt right, for the two of them to simply sit in the quiet instead of filling it up with words and bickering. There weren’t many stars out tonight, he noted, although there wouldn’t be many anyways, considering they were in the middle of a bustling city.
He felt his eyes droop slightly, the drowsiness of the day finally starting to creep up on him. He was about to give into it, to close his eyes and sink into sleep right there on the porch, when Kageyama spoke.
It was in that same gentle tone from before, the one that sent butterflies whirling about inside of his stomach.
“I don’t... Want to lose any of them.”
Hinata’s eyelids snapped open, something having abruptly awakened inside of him.
“What do you mean?” He asked.
Kageyama grimaced, scrunching his eyebrows together in concentration, searching for the correct words to say next. A car whizzed by.
“After nationals... I don’t want to lose them. I’m... Afraid of losing them.” He grumbled, not meeting Hinata’s eye.
Flashes of the all of the stories coupled with the King Of The Court nickname filled Hinata’s mind. He studied the seriousness written into the lines of Kageyama’s face, and of the confessional tone painting his words. Kageyama was scared of being alone, Hinata knew that. But somehow, in the early morning hours of the night before the day that would change it all, he seemed especially vulnerable.
Hinata understood what he was saying, too. He’d thought similarly ever since stepping outside of the hotel.
“Yeah...” He said thoughtfully. “Like, I know we won’t lose lose them, you know? But they’re graduating, so I want them to be happy now, and I want to be happy too, I want to show everyone how great I can be!” He exhaled slowly. “But you’re right. The most important thing is that I don’t want to lose them.”
Kageyama hummed thoughtfully in response.
He looked nice like this, Hinata thought, eyes sweeping over the relaxed expression on Kageyama’s face. He didn’t look angry, or frustrated, like he usually did, especially around Hinata. Although he had just voiced his worries to Hinata, he looked strangely at peace.
A tiny thought crept up in the back of Hinata’s mind, a forbidden one that shouldn’t have existed in the first place, and he mentally batted it away almost frantically. Now was not the time or place to entertain such unrealistic fantasies.
Kageyama muttered something under his breath that Hinata didn’t catch.
“What?” Hinata asked.
Kageyama’s eyes widened, as if he hadn’t been aware that he’d said anything at all, and then... It was hard to tell underneath the unnatural glow of the porch lights, but it almost seemed as if he was... Blushing.
“Nothing.” He barked out sharply, and yeah, his cheeks were definitely turning red.
A brief spark of annoyance flickered inside of Hinata.
“You can’t just say nothing like that, stupid!” He huffed. “If you’re thinking about saying something, just say it.”
Kageyama gritted his teeth, his cheeks still dusted with pink, as Hinata glared at him. It wasn’t a very harsh glare, because he didn’t think that he could muster much anger at three AM, even if it was Kageyama.
When he spoke again, it was very quietly, eyes glued to the floor and fists curled in beside him.
“I was saying that I don’t want to lose you, either.” He mumbled. Then, as if it was an afterthought, he added, “Dumbass.”
Hinata was so surprised that his eyebrows shot up rapidly, mouth dropping open to gawk at Kageyama. That had been probably the kindest thing he’d ever been told by him, and it made his entire body feel deliciously warm, as well as his cheeks.
“You aren’t going to lose me, though...” Hinata said slowly. “I won’t leave you, I’ve already told you that. We’re the greatest together! And it’s not like either of us are graduating, or moving away or anything, unless...”
His eyes widened, and he leaned forward in horror. “Unless you’re secretly moving away and you haven’t told me yet?!”
Kageyama scowled at him, eyes snapping up to meet his, the usual annoyance written all over his face.
“That’s not it, idiot!”
Hinata sank back into his chair. “Then... I don’t really understand why you’re so concerned.” He said softly.
Kageyama averted his eyes again, making a tiny strangled noise with the back of his throat. “I knew you wouldn’t.”
And he sounded so tired, so weary, that Hinata’s heart squeezed involuntarily. It was a tone that he was all too familiar with himself, when it was late at night and he would talk aloud to himself just for the sake of hearing a voice amidst the silence, driving himself away from painful feelings involving the tightening sensation in his chest that accompanied the mere thought of Kageyama. Feelings that bordered on dangerous, teetered on devastating.
Feelings that, somehow, didn’t seem so treacherous underneath the starry night, when Kageyama was so bashful yet so willing with his words. When the artificial rays from the porch lights were highlighting the planes of his face, his cheekbones and nose and jawline, in a way that could only be accurately described as breathtaking.
Hinata, mind clouded from a mixture of sleep and wistfulness and longing, didn’t give himself any room to think.
He reached over Kageyama’s chair, fumbled around a bit as Kageyama frowned and shrunk away from his touch, and grabbed one of Kageyama’s clenched fists. He took it in his own hand, not doing anything besides cradling it gently, barely even aware of what such an action would imply.
Almost immediately, Kageyama hissed. “What are you doing?”
Hinata looked up, saw the panic marking Kageyam’s face, glanced down at the way he was clutching Kageyama’s hand with such desperateness, and then yanked his hand away as if he had been scalded with hot water.
“Sorry.” He gulped. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to... Sorry.”
Kageyama made that noise again. Thoughts began to rush through Hinata’s mind, because how could he have been so stupid, one night underneath the stars at three AM and suddenly he was acting as if his life was a romance novel, where the romance was actually requited, where things could actually work out in his favor.
A fly buzzed in front of Hinata’s face, and he batted it away with one hand, the other gripping the arm of his chair viciously. Kageyama was probably going to kill him now, and it was the night before the finals and nationals. Just his luck.
“Don’t say sorry.”
Hinata froze.
“What?” He bit out, turning to face Kageyama again.
Kageyama had a furiously red blush covering his face, and he was staring at his hand as if it were a foreign object, although not necessarily in a bad way. He didn’t seem angry either. Hinata’s heart beat wildly.
Kageyama’s eyes flicked up to meet Hinata’s. There was something in them, similar to how there was something in the air, something that Hinata couldn’t quite place, though it was starting to make his insides feel like jello.
“Don’t say sorry, dumbass.” He said.
And then, to Hinata’s wonder, Kageyama took Hinata’s hand that was still gripping his seat, and laced their fingers together firmly.
Hinata couldn’t do anything but stare, mouth dropping open to form a tiny “O”, the rush of his thoughts barely audible over the pounding of his heart. Kageyama’s hands were a bit rough, but they fit with Hinata’s perfectly, and the sensation of Kageyama’s skin pressed against his own made him feel so warm inside, as if all of the doubt suspended in the air was melting away. On impulse, Hinata gave a small squeeze.
Kageyama tensed, and Hinata felt dread flood him, shame rising up in his mouth, and he made to apologize again, and then Kageyama squeezed back.
Hinata was sure that his face was a brilliant shade of crimson currently, because he was a teenage boy holding the hands of his crush, for God’s sake, and he scratched the back of his neck with his free hand awkwardly.
“Kageyama...” He said thickly. “You won’t ever lose me. I promise.”
The strange energy cloaking the two boys sitting on a run-down porch, on a morning where the sun had yet to rise, seemed to intensify then, zapping and crackling around them, and Hinata’s stomach churned with anticipation. The air was super-charged, but not dangerously so, considering that his feelings towards Kageyama were seeming less and less threatening every second that their hands continued to stay entwined.
“You...” Kageyama began, then paused. “Do you even know what I mean when I say that?” He sounded gruff, but Hinata still caught the desperation that lined his words.
He took in the way that their fingers were tangled together, just as how lovers would hold hands, the way that Kageyama’s cheeks continued to remain a rosy shade of pink, the way that Kageyama’s eyes seemed so desperate, so longing. It hit Hinata nearly all at once, that his feelings weren’t dangerous at all.
“Well...” He said carefully, a bit unsure of where to start. “I like you, Kageyama. As... As more than just a friend. In the way that couples like each other. And... Maybe I’m wrong, but... I think you like me like that, too.”
His veins hummed with anxiety as he confessed, surveying Kageyama’s expression nervously. His heart was pitter-pattering so quickly that it was hard to believe he’d ever been sleepy that night, as he watched Kageyama lift his eyes to look at Hinata, as the longing inside of them turned to disbelief. Which turned into relief, which turned into something that looked an awful lot like satisfaction.
Kageyama opened his mouth, then seemed to hesitate, and closed it. Hinata, who felt anxious regardless, fought the urge to fidget in his seat.
When Kageyama spoke again, it wasn’t really what Hinata had been expecting.
“Tobio.”
Hinata blinked. “What?”
Kageyama flushed, but didn’t tear his eyes away from Hinata’s, seemingly determined.
“Tobio.” He repeated, louder this time. “If you’re going to confess to me, dumbass, at least call me Tobio.”
Hinata felt a chill sweep through him. The idea of calling Kageyama by his first name, and of Kageyama saying Shouyou...
“D-Does that mean my confession is accepted, then?” He stuttered.
Kageyama gave a brief, terse nod, and Hinata felt all of his resolve fly out the window.
They were in the least romantic setting possible, on an old, rickety porch of a sloppy hotel, both of them tired and on the edge of sleep, wind howling violently in their ears in the ugliest way possible. The only beautiful thing about the situation were the stars, as well as Kageyama, and yet...
“Tobio,” He blurted. “Can I kiss you?”
He watched as Kageyama’s eyes widened at his first name, as he blushed again, as he let out a breathy “Yeah.”
Hinata wasn’t really sure who reached for who first, just that suddenly their hands were untangled, and they were leaning in, and that then their lips were pressed against each other’s with both a searing sweetness and a wondrous sense of hope.
The rest of the world slept as Kageyama and Hinata held each other in their arms, the stars twinkling above them and the street silent, all of the cars having reached their destination. As he pulled away, heart fluttering when he saw the tender look in Kageyama’s eyes, Hinata knew.
He knew, despite all of his worries about tomorrow, and the weird feeling still swirling about, that everything would be okay.