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where you stop is where i'll lay down to rest

Summary:

Jaehyun is sick, and he's being clingy about it.

Notes:

prequel to we'll take the highway to heaven, so please read that first!

idk i just felt like writing a sick jaehyun, and idk somehow i think he holds back a lot. someday i might write a depressed jaehyun because i, too, am depressed, and i project things onto the characters that i write. i think i wrote taeyong too serious in this one.

disclaimer: english is not my first language, these are real people please dont push the shipping to their faces, characters may be off because ive been a fan for literally one week and i dont know these people

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Taeyong knew something was wrong the moment they got out of the van.  

Jaehyun likes to keeps his distance. He doesn't hate skinship but he doesn't ask for it either. He doesn't actively invade people's spaces the way Taeyong does. He keeps his own space open instead, giving people a choice to step into it. Sometimes touches are gotten with gentle coaxing and a dimpled smile. Jaehyun's affections, Taeyong notices, were more in the form of attention instead of physical.

But today Jaehyun is practically plastered onto Taeyong, going so far as to hooking his arm with Taeyong's. Something he rarely does anymore. He leans well into the older's space. Taeyong can't gauge how Jaehyun is feeling because half his face is covered by a mask he'd been sporting since he exited his room this morning.

The younger keeps his proximity to Taeyong until they're in their waiting room, he doesn't even bother to disentangle once they're inside, just sticks to Taeyong. Taeyong manouvers them so they sit on the long bench on the back of the room. They lean back, Jaehyun's head nestled on Taeyong's shoulder, his eyes closed. This close, Taeyong can count the number of lashes resting against his cheeks.

"Jaehyunnie," Taeyong murmurs. "They're going to start filming now."

Jaehyun grunts but doesn't budge.

Taeyong sighs. "Are you sick? Not feeling well?"

Jaehyun nods. Taeyong reaches up to brush the bangs out of his eyes, pressing the back of his hand onto Jaehyun's forehead. The younger boy leans into the touch; he's warm, Taeyong notices.

Manager-hyung walks up to them. He must've noticed, too. Jaehyun never goes out of line, he never wants to bother people. So this unusually deviant behavior, albeit a small one, must've alerted him.

"Is he sick?"

"I think so, hyung. Can you let him off the hook this time?"

Manager-hyung sighs. "I suppose." He shouts to Johnny. "Johnny! Film outside!"

Johnny yells an affirmative once he glimpses Jaehyun basically using Taeyong to keep himself upright.

Taeyong feels grateful to have a manager and friends like them.

-

Once the music show filming is over, he basically ushers Jaehyun inside the dorm, makes him clean up quick and leaves him in his room with a glass of water and some cold medicine. Jaehyun follows his instructions sluggishly, not a single word coming out of his mouth.

Taeyong asks for their schedule to be cancelled today. Manager-hyung seems hesitant but he agrees to Taeyong's demands. It's not uncommon for boys who stay in the same dorm to be sick at the same time.

He thanks manager-hyung profusely after that, and settles on the couch to wait on Jaehyun.

-

An hour later Taeyong hears the sound of a door opening and closing followed by footsteps.

"Hyung," Jaehyun calls out, his voice scratchy. 

Taeyong looks up. "Jaehyunnie?"

Jaehyun shuffles out from the hall with his blanket draped over his shoulders, the ends of it slightly dragging on the floor.

"Hyung," he repeats. Stopping in front of Taeyong. Jaehyun is wearing a sweatshirt over his t-shirt, his hair is a mess, his face is deathly pale, eyes rimmed red.

Taeyong puts the iPad aside and reaches up to cradle Jaehyun's face in his palms. "Oh, you're burning up, baby," he tsks. "Have you had your meds, yet? Here, sit down." Taeyong pats the spot next to him on the couch. Jaehyun nods, complying and pulling his feet up to his chest.

"I couldn't sleep," he says, and then proceeds to cough up half of his lung.

Taeyong's hands are on his back immediately, stroking soothingly. "There, there. Here, have some water." He hands Jaehyun his untouched glass of water.

Jaehyun sips it slowly. "Thank you, hyung," he says, clearing his throat, handing the glass back so Taeyong can put it back on the table.

"How are you feeling?"

Jaehyun answers with a grunt, his face the definition of miserable.

"Did you need anything? Do you want to go to the hospital?"

Jaehyun shakes his head, then he stares at Taeyong, hesitating. After a beat he bends down to rest his head on Taeyong's lap while simultaneously turning around so his face is burrowed into Taeyong's stomach.

Taeyong doesn't move, lets him get comfortable. Jaehyun shifts around until he gets his blanket to cover his entire body. Taeyong helps position the blanket so that Jaehyun's cocooned in it. The latter makes a satisfied noise from the back of his throat and curls up, nuzzling his face against the fabric of Taeyong's shirt, inhaling deeply. Taeyong's stomach feels warm.

Taeyong swallows. "Comfy?" He asks.

Jaehyun nods.

Taeyong rests a hand on top of Jaehyun's head and pats it. He props up the iPad on the table next to the couch and scrolls through the news with his other hand, absentmindedly carding his fingers through Jaehyun's hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. Jaehyun sighs contently.

"Good?"

Jaehyun hums.

Taeyong keeps at it until Jaehyun's breathing evens out, punctuated sometimes only by a couple of little coughs, Jaehyun blowing small puffs of air to his abdomen.

He takes a moment to observe the sleeping boy, taking in the soft curve of his nose, his slightly parted lips, his smooth skin, the even rise and fall of his chest. Taeyong feels the strange urge to commit this sight to memory, but what for? They meet almost every day, spend over 10 hours with each other.

Jaehyun used to touch Taeyong more often, when they were younger. He used to hold Taeyong's hands, drape himself over Taeyong's lap, and he used to hug Taeyong every time they met. He'd said once that Taeyong's warmth reminds him of his mother's. Taeyong doesn't know why he stops touching Taeyong, but he does, and although he's disappointed, Taeyong won't push Jaehyun.

He's a person who likes his space, Taeyong understands.

Taeyong supposes that now, when he's sick, he'd want the comfort of his mother. He forgets sometimes that Jaehyun has walls, too, and that despite his maturity, is only twenty.

-

Taeyong is woken up by the sound of giggling and footsteps, he hears hushed voices around him that sounds like Donghyuck and Dongyoung.

"Ah! See what you did? He's awake now," somebody scolds somebody.

"Not my fault, Hyuck was being too loud."

Taeyong inhales and opens his eyes, blinking against the bright lights.

"Good morning, hyung," greets Winwin.

"Morning?" Taeyong hums and stretches, mindful not to jostle Jaehyun, who's still a dead weight on his lap.

Winwin and Donghyuck are watching him from the entrance of the kitchen, both of them grinning.

"Hey," Taeyong says, "when did you guys get back?"

Below him, Jaehyun stirs, Taeyong puts his hand back in Jaehyun's hair. The younger calms almost immediately.

"Oh God that's so domestic," Johnny comments, emerging from the hall, already showered. He nudges Donghyuck to make room for him so he can go to the kitchen.

Taeyong raises an eyebrow. "He's sick."

"Not my point!" Johnny yells from the kitchen. Winwin and Donghyuck snicker, disappearing into the kitchen after their hyung.

Taeil-hyung comes over and sits on the floor. "How is he?"

"Better, I think. I think it's just a cold."

Taeil-hyung nods. "Has he eaten yet? We got food sent over. You want to eat together?"

"Sure, hyung. Let me wake Jaehyun up first, you go ahead."

Taeil-hyung nods and gets up, clasps a hand on his shoulder and gives him a knowing look before walking away.

Taeyong is confused by the action, and brushes it off as concern.

He diverts his attention to Jaehyun instead, ruffling the younger's hair. "Jaehyunnie," he calls out gently, "wake up, yeah? You need to eat."

Jaehyun starts, he lets out a sound of protest from the back of his throat.

"C'mon, you'll feel better if you eat first before you sleep."

Jaehyun opens his eyes slowly, meeting Taeyong's in the middle. His gaze is hooded and feverish.

Taeyong feels his face heat up.

Jaehyun closes his eyes again and sighs. "Okay," he answers, his voice still hoarse. He sits up slowly, taking a transit to lean on the backrest of the couch first. Sweat makes his clothes stick to his torso. Taeyong doesn't look at Jaehyun and takes his time to stretch out his legs instead.

Jaehyun gets up first, shuffling to the kitchen with the blanket still draped over his shoulders.

-

After dinner and the subsequent brushing of everyone's teeth, the group decides to watch a movie. Except for Jaehyun, who tugs insistently at Taeyong's wrists until he comes with him to the bedroom he shares with Donghyuck.

Somebody giggles at their retreating back, Taeyong turns around to glare at them.

"Jaehyun-ah, what's--"

"Hyung," Jaehyun says, once they're in front of the door, the his hoarse voice scratches an itch Taeyong didn't know he had. There's an odd tension in the way Jaehyun holds himself.

"Yeah?"

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

Taeyong melts at the question. "Yeah, of course."

Jaehyun's shoulders relax and he opens the door. Once inside, he fishes out another blanket (the last one smelled of food, it's been discarded along with his previous clothes), and crawls into bed. Sighing contently.

Taeyong fidgets at the foot of his bed, unsure of what to do. Jaehyun stares at him, his eyes have the same intensity as before.

"Hyung," he reaches out his hands. "Come here."

Taeyong walks over and sits by Jaehyun's chest, facing away from the bed. He feels Jaehyun's forehead again. The latter sighs when their skins touch, like Taeyong just cured half of his illness, Taeyong doesn't know what to do with that.

But he knows that Jaehyun isn't running too hot anymore, and Taeyong's very glad for that.

"Your fever is down," he remarks.

"I guess. I feel better."

"Oh?" a raised eyebrow. "Should I leave, then?"

Jaehyun opens his mouth and closes it again, panic coloring his voice. "No, hyung, I--"

Taeyong laughs at him. "Relax! I'm joking! Scoot over."

Jaehyun presses himself against the wall, Taeyong climbs up and sits by the head of the bed, leaning against the headboard.

Jaehyun moves closer, pressing close to Taeyong's thigh, draping an arm over Taeyong's legs.

Taeyong's hand somehow finds itself to Jaehyun's hair again, the other one resting near Jaehyun's elbow.

"You like this, right?" Taeyong asks.

Jaehyun's face is mashed against the side of Taeyong's thigh but his ears turn red. He nods.

"You know," Taeyong says, "if you wanted this you could ask anytime, you don't have to wait until you're sick."

Jaehyun mumbles.

"Sorry?"

"It's not right," he says, "you should give your attention to the younger members instead of me," he continues, "I'm sick today, so I thought I can be a little selfish. I'm sorry."

"Yahh," Taeyong messes up Jaehyun's hair. "That's not how it works," he explains, "it's okay to ask for affection. Especially if you're feeling down, but not only when you're feeling down. I'm glad you were like this today," Taeyong pauses, he softens his voice, "you're still a kid, too, Jaehyunnie, no matter how cool you can look on stage. You can tell me if you're having a hard time."

Jaehyun doesn't answer for a while. "I'll keep that in mind, hyung. Thank you."

Taeyong hums. "You think you can you sleep, now?''

"I think," Jaehyun says, looking up at Taeyong, he smiles, dimples making themselves known. "But just in case, you should stay to make sure I sleep well."

And well, how can Taeyong say no to that?

Notes:

i love you all for taking the time to read this, please tell me if you liked it or not! dont hesitate to point out mistakes!

come hang out with me on twitter, i'm catchingjaehyun