Work Text:
Min Yoongi snickered to himself, his back flat against the door.
“Just you wait, fucking midget!” He heard his roommate taunt. He ignored him with a chuckle and launched himself onto his sweet, sweet bed. Grabbing his phone from his back pocket, he checked the time. It was a little past midnight in Seoul so it should’ve been around 8 PM in Amsterdam, where Hoseok was.
To: Sunshine
Can I call?
Yoongi anxiously waited for Hoseok’s reply. He hadn’t seen his boyfriend in about 4 days and he still had to wait for another 3 before Hoseok comes back. He was miserable, especially since it hadn’t been long since the two have gotten together. Yoongi was getting used to the distance though; his enormous workload had also been a welcome distraction.
From: Sunshine
I can’t FaceTime but I can call now.
Yoongi tried not to pout. He had fervently missed Hoseok’s dashing face and glittering eyes. Yet beggars can’t be choosy so he’d rather hear Hoseok’s voice than nothing at all.
Incoming call: Sunshine
Trying to find a comfortable position before picking up, Yoongi turned off the lights and lighted a scented candle. He enveloped himself in a blanket burrito and answered.
“Babe?” Yoongi said.
“Muffin?” Hoseok breathed.
“Long nose?”
“Jellybean?”
“Horse?”
“Princess?”
“What the fuck?”
Hoseok laughed, a musical chuckle that Yoongi loved to hear.
“If I’m a prince, then you should be my princess.”
“Say that one more time and I’ll cut your dick off.”
“But you love my dick!”
“I mean… you’re not wrong.”
“Would it kill you to say the words ‘You’re right?’”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Another brief chuckle.
“How’s Amsterdam?”
“It’s same old Amsterdam. Nothing new.”
“Then get your ass back here.”
“Aww, my honeybunch misses me.”
A snort, “Over my dead fucking body.”
“You mean your tiny fucking hot body.”
“Just say you want to fuck me and go.”
“I want you to fuck me, let’s go.”
“Literally why are you like this?” Yoongi smiled bashfully despite his words.
There was a short comfortable silence, wherein Yoongi fiddled with the strands of his hair.
“I need a haircut.”
“You do?”
“It’s getting a little long now. I should probably dye it too.”
“I like it long.”
“We’re talking about my hair, not my dick. You, pervert.”
A sharp intake of breath, “I did mean your hair! Calm down, grumpypants.”
“Fine. I’ll just dye it then.”
“How about a reddish-brown hue?”
“I was thinking that I’ll dye it back to black.”
“You know what they say, once you go black… you can’t go back.”
“That doesn’t even make sense but okay.”
A short chuckle and a rustle of movement from Hoseok’s end.
“Are you out? Is it okay to talk right now? I can call later.”
“Bullshit. It’s later than midnight, you should be sleeping right now.”
“I will, in a bit.”
“Fair enough.” A pause.
“But yeah, I’m out with the guys and some girls we met downtown.”
Yoongi frowned, “I didn’t know downtown Amsterdam was a thing.”
“Neither did I.” Another pause.
This time, it was a longer pause that wouldn’t seem to end unless Yoongi spoke first.
Yet Yoongi wasn’t sure what to say. Hoseok had never been evasive and Yoongi couldn’t help but wonder. He couldn’t deny the clawing insecurity inside him and the doubt that perhaps Hoseok was somewhere or with someone that he didn’t want to share with Yoongi. Remembering Jungkook’s words about their relationship, Yoongi bit his lower lip nervously and decided to change the topic.
“Jungkook and Seokjin are getting their arrhythmia matches today.”
“Wow, it’s already been a week? Time sure flies so fast.”
“Yeah.” Yoongi muttered, still preoccupied by other unwelcomed thoughts.
“How was your day today, sweetie?”
“Hectic.” A sigh.
“Work had been crazy and Jeonghan’s mini-album needs to be finalized first thing on Monday.”
“All the work’s almost done though, right?”
“Yep. We just can’t afford to fuck it up since the pre-orders are pretty high.”
“I’ve heard. I’m impressed.”
“His previous modelling gig paid off. Thank god for small mercies.”
“He is a fine piece of specimen.”
There was something about Hoseok’s statement that ticked Yoongi off. He couldn’t exactly place his finger on him but whatever it was, Yoongi hated how it felt.
“What about your day?”
“We went shopping for a little bit. The guys wanted to smoke weed so we went to grab some and we’re having dinner now.”
“Are they waiting for you? While you’re on the phone with me?”
“Yeah.”
Yoongi suddenly felt guilty for even thinking of doubting Hoseok’s fidelity. There he was: on the phone with his little boyfriend, who was hundreds of kilometers away, while his friends were having fun with foreign women and men. Yet Hoseok, with his gorgeous face and gracious kindness, was listening to his potato of a boyfriend bitch about his day. The same boyfriend, who even thought that perhaps Hoseok was up to no good.
“But they’re all high so I doubt they care about me at all.”
Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle. “Are you the DD?”
“I guess you can say that.”
“Well, then go back there and take care of your evil stepsisters, Seokderella.”
“So, I’m the Disney princess now?”
“You’re prettier than Snow White. Let’s not lie.”
A pause.
Yoongi’s ears heat up from embarrassment. Did he really just compliment his boyfriend?
“And you want me to fuck you. So… technically, you want Snow White to fuck you, you perverted dwarf?”
Yoongi choked on air, “What the fuck, Hoseok?”
“I mean… weird flex but okay.”
“THAT WAS LITERALLY NOWHERE CLOSE TO WHAT I SAID.”
“Look, we don’t kink-shame in this household.”
“Shut up, shut up, shut up!”
Hoseok broke into a howling laughter.
Yoongi could feel the lava of mortification coursing in his arteries, setting his entire body on fire.
“Oh my god, goodnight. Bye. Get home safely!” Yoongi grumbled before hanging up.
“Wait!” Hoseok yapped urgently.
A pause.
“What?”
“I miss you.”
Hoseok’s voice was so genuine and so tender that Yoongi’s heart started beating like crazy.
“Okay”
“Um”
“Sure”
“Me too.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow, moonlight.”
“Message me when you’re home, sunshine.”
“Bossy.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Goodnight, my kinky bossy sexy dwarf.”
“I’m blocking you.”
Yoongi hung up and hugged his phone to sleep with a stupid smile.
-------
Jeon Jungkook did not like daddy.
Well, he did not like TheyCallMeDaddy at least. It hadn’t even been 10 minutes since Arrhythmia informed him of his matches and this user had already messaged him, asking for a picture ‘so they can get to know each other’. Know each other, my ass. Jungkook immediately blocked him because 1. His username was fucking nasty and 2. He sounded nasty. How did this guy even have an invite? How useful and credible was this app then? Jungkook was still having an existential crisis when he got a message from Gameboy2.
Gameboy2: Hello, fellow gamer
Jungkook gulped. He had blocked the other user so he was only left with the option of Gameboy2. So far, the user’s message seemed casual and normal. Yet what if he was as creepy as TheyCallMeDaddy?
Across Jungkook, Seokjin was also occupied with his phone. He had received his two matches (TreeJune and MJunior) and was in the middle of typing and deleting his messages.
He settled with a simple greeting because it’s hard to go wrong with a simple greeting, right?
ChefLlama: Hello :)
He sent them to the two users separately and waited giddily with a smile. He didn’t have to wait long though because MJunior replied immediately.
ChefLlama: Hello :)
MJunior had blocked you.
Seokjin couldn’t believe his eyes. “How fucking dare, he!” He shouted, offended.
From across him, Jungkook looked up from his phone to stare at Seokjin curiously.
“One of my matches just blocked me!” Seokjin explained, pointing accusatorily at his phone.
Jungkook laughed, his nose crinkling as he guffawed, “I literally just blocked one user too!”
“WHY?” Seokjin bellowed, incredulous.
“Because he asked for a picture of me to ‘get to know each other’! What creepy thing did you do?”
“NOTHING!” Seokjin replied, even more affronted than before. “All I said was hello!”
To this, Jungkook just laughed again. Upon noticing that Seokjin wasn’t sharing his humor, Jungkook sobered up with great effort. “Look, if it makes you feel better. The other user messaged me and I have no intention to reply to him.”
“WHY?” Seokjin shouted for the second time, increasingly agitated by this ridiculous situation. There he was, blocked by one user and ignored by the other. Meanwhile, Jungkook had blocked one and was ignoring the other! The absurdity!
Jungkook shrugged, “I have weekend shifts. I don’t want to be disturbed.”
Seokjin’s eyes bulged out of its sockets.
“And if he wants to be friends with me, he needs to realize that I tend to ignore people more than I reply to them.” Jungkook finished, matter-of-factly.
“Then why did you even join this app if you’re going to be like this?” Seokjin asked. Why did he have idiotic friends? (Idiotic and apparently, very attractive friends!)
Jungkook glared at him with a blank stare, “You literally forced me to.”
Seokjin snorted. He was about to reprimand Jungkook when his phone beeped.
ChefLlama: Hello :)
TreeJune: Hi!
Promptly, Seokjin ignored Jungkook and propped down to the couch. His mind was racing and heart was beating anxiously as he typed:
ChefLlama: TreeJune? Are you 6 feet tall!
He couldn’t help but smile at his own wit. TreeJune’s reply was instant.
TreeJune: :o What gave it away!
ChefLlama: I would say I’m inherently a Jinius but…
ChefLlama: Your username is kind of a give away
TreeJune: *Genius
TreeJune: Huh… it’s actually a pun of my name.
TreeJune: But yes, I’m also a little tall
ChefLlama: FIRST OF ALL
ChefLlama: DID ANYONE CALL THE GRAMMAR POLICE
ChefLlama: I think the fuck not
TreeJune: Feisty
ChefLlama: SECONDLY
ChefLlama: A PUN?!?
ChefLlama: OMG .. I’ll forgive you for grammar police because of the pun
ChefLlama: But now I have to figure out what that pun means!
TreeJune: Finally! Someone who appreciates intellectual puns!
ChefLlama: I didn’t say anything about intellectual
ChefLlama: But I do appreciate good puns
TreeJune: Do you want a hint?
ChefLlama: Hm. Okay.
ChefLlama: Just one.
TreeJune: Think G-Dragon
ChefLlama: Hmm
ChefLlama: Hmm
ChefLlama: OH
ChefLlama: Jiyong goes to G-Dragon
ChefLlama: Sooo… TreeJune must mean mean
ChefLlama: Namujoon?
TreeJune: WOW
TreeJune: You’re a JINIUS
ChefLlama: OMG
ChefLlama: I see what you did there :))
TreeJune: And I’m assuming your name has *Jin* in it somewhere
ChefLlama: WHAT
TreeJune: Jin seok?
ChefLlama: SKSKSK
TreeJune: Did I get it right?
ChefLlama: Close ;)
TreeJune: Takes one to know one
ChefLlama: Wow, you’re so much pun!
TreeJune: I try ;)
ChefLlama: My friends have shitty humor :(
TreeJune: Tell me about it! They all think I’m an old man just because I enjoy figuring out puns
ChefLlama: Preach, oh holy father
TreeJune: Haha
TreeJune: So…
ChefLlama: So…
“Can you fucking stop smiling like a school girl? Your cheeks are going to burst.” Jungkook complained, voice laced with disgust.
Seokjin looked up from his phone, stuck his tongue out, and returned to his phone.
TREEJUNE: I’m new to the app; it’s my first match!
TREEJUNE: What about you?
ChefLlama: Same!
ChefLlama: My roommate matched successfully like couple of weeks ago
ChefLlama: Then
ChefLlama: He sent me an invite :)
TREEJUNE: OH, that’s so cute!
ChefLlama: EHHHHH
TREEJUNE: ?
ChefLlama: It’s not cute when he started sexiling me
TREEJUNE: HAHAHAHA
TREEJUNE: That’s so funny
“Kook, am I funny?” Seokjin asked, intrigued.
Without tearing his eyes away from the TV, Jungkook replied to Seokjin, “No. But why would you ask as if you didn’t know that?”
Seokjin frowned, “This guy I’m chatting with, he said I’m funny.” Seokjin tilted his head, “I don’t know if means that or if he’s just flirting.”
Jungkook shrugged, “I don’t know but if he honestly finds you funny then you should marry him.”
Seokjin ignored Jungkook’s insult and got back to his phone.
ChefLlama: Thanks *crying face*
TreeJune: ??
ChefLlama: My bestfriends say I’m lame but you understand my humor!
TreeJune: Ohhh
TreeJune: Well, we did match for a reason!
ChefLlama: Ikr!
ChefLlama: It’s so weird how we ended up choosing all the same options
TreeJune: It actually doesn’t work like that
ChefLlama: Huh?
TreeJune: We don’t necessarily have all the same options but we have the most similar ones out of all the users we filtered for
ChefLlama: But aren’t the options dependent on each other?
TreeJune: They intersect at some points
TreeJune: It’ll be hard to completely have different pathways
ChefLlama: :O
ChefLlama: Makes sense
ChefLlama: OMG YOU SOUND SO COOL KNOWING ALL THAT
TreeJune: Haha, I’m friends with the app developer!
TreeJune: I actually got my invite from him :)
ChefLlama: OH WOW
ChefLlama: I didn’t know I was matched to a VIP
TreeJune: Hehe
TreeJune: I’m not a VIP!!
ChefLlama: I’m just kidding, namuu
TreeJune: OH MY GOD
TreeJune: Is that my nickname now??
ChefLlama: …. Maybe
ChefLlama: :)
TreeJune: It’s so hard to come up with a nickname for your name :((
TreeJune: Since it’s already so short!
TreeJune: How about I think about it and let you know tomorrow?
ChefLlama: Tomorrow?
TreeJune: Yeah, I’ve got some work left to do so…
ChefLlama: Oh yeah! It’s fine!
ChefLlama: My friend’s waiting for me anyways because we’re supposed to watch a movie
TreeJune: OMG, did I disturb :o
ChefLlama: Nuuuuuu
ChefLlama: Who cares about my friend
TreeJune: Your friend?
ChefLlama: Yea
TreeJune: I don’t want to interrupt your date :(
ChefLlama: Lol, what date
ChefLlama: He’s my bestfriend
ChefLlama: He doesn’t even look like he wants to be here
TreeJune: OH
TreeJune: Hehe
TreeJune: Well have fun with him
TreeJune: Goodnight!
ChefLlama: Goodnight, namuu :)
-------
Min Yoongi hadn’t felt this well-rested since forever. He didn’t just feel charged up… he felt rejuvenated to the core. You know the kind of sleep you get after a whole day’s worth of working? Multiply that by seven times more refreshing. That’s how energized he felt. What he didn’t expect, however, was the face that was few centimeters away from his face when he woke up.
Jeon Jungkook was absolutely spent. It had been a month after one of his patients took his own life. He had been gradually getting over it with the help of his friends. Yet no one could keep the bad dreams away when they visit him at night, when he’s all alone listening to Jungkook’s snores on the other room. Sleeping, which had been his haven once, had become a playground of his insecurities. He had been able to function properly in the daylight and hang out with his friends while forgetting his shortcomings. But when the night comes, he had been unable to escape them and had been sleeping unwell. Thus, it came as a welcomed surprise when Jungkook slept without any nightmares at all. For the first time in a miserable month, he had been able to rest without terror. Relieved, Jungkook opened his eyes to find a fair and rounded face few inches away from here.
The familiar rounded nose, upturned eyes, and soft cheeks belonged to Yoongi. Jungkook held his breath, at loss. He had been roommates with Yoongi when they were all still in college for four years. However, he had never been faced with such a predicament. Should he go back to sleep, knowing that Yoongi was cuddling him? Or should he wake up his best friend, who was also dating one of their best friends?
He didn’t have time to find out what his answer could’ve been when Yoongi’s light brown eyes greeted his. The smaller man had woken up; upon seeing how he was cuddling Jungkook’s lithe body on his couch, Yoongi pushed away Jungkook with a shocked expression.
Jungkook fell on the floor with a loud thud. Yoongi gasped, peering over to check that Jungkook was okay. Jungkook, on the other hand, was nursing his aching butt by rubbing it with his left hand.
“I…” Jungkook started but failed to finish. What was he supposed to say? Thank you for the amazing nap?
“We do not speak of this, ever.” Yoongi snapped. It was undeniably weird for two fully-grown adult men to be napping while CUDDLING. Now, you might argue that it’s the 21st century and there wasn’t anything weird about two men platonically cuddling. Except that this was Jungkook and Yoongi we were talking about. Two people who valued their personal space greatly that they got along so well as roommates. Sure, Seokjin had forcefully cuddled with Jungkook; but those two had been friends since childhood and Jungkook always let Seokjin get his way. Hoseok periodically forcefully spooned Yoongi; but they were dating and shoving down tongues to each other’s throats. Yet here was Yoongi and Jungkook, friends of six years, finding themselves in a comfortable cuddling session with a premium sleep to boost.
Jungkook tried to ignore it as he went about his day. Instead, he buried himself with textbooks in the library. He couldn’t, nevertheless, ignore how revitalized he felt. It had been ages since he had a peaceful slumber and the only variable that was different this time was Yoongi. He knew, somewhere in the deep depths of his subconscious though shrouded by a big blanket of denial, that Yoongi’s company made all the difference.
Yoongi, on the other hand, was buried in his thoughts while he procured a decent meal in the kitchen. He hadn’t been able to rest for the past few weeks because of work. With Jeonghan’s successful debut two weeks ago and the recently wrapped-up preparations for Heize’s comeback, he could finally afford to take some time off work. Fortunately, it coincided with Hoseok’s off days once he returned from Indonesia tomorrow. He couldn’t, however, deny the fact that sleeping beside Jungkook had been one of the best naps he’d had in a while… and probably for a while too, considering how it wouldn’t happen again. Not when it’s Jungkook and Yoongi we’re talking about here.
“Yoongichi!” Seokjin’s high-pitched voice erupted from somewhere in the apartment. With a dejected sigh, Yoongi turned around to find the taller man clad in a red silk shirt and skinny dark jeans.
Yoongi cocked an eyebrow. “What do you think?” Seokjin prompted, an excited smile plastered on his ever-happy face.
“Whose poor soul are you planning on feeding on, tonight?” Yoongi asked, returning to his simmering pot of curry.
Seokjin snorted, “You know the guy I’ve been chatting with for a month? I told you I’m meeting him today!”
Yoongi frowned, “From Arrhythmia?” Seokjin nodded fervently.
“Hm. Well, I’d say you’re dressed to kill and ready to conquer.” Yoongi surmised with an encouraging nod.
Seokjin’s smile disappeared and he glared at his housemate with dead eyes, “Aren’t you even going to ask me where I’m meeting him? What if he turns out to be a serial killer? Remember when you were meeting your match and I was so bloody worried? You don’t even care about what might happen to me!”
Yoongi echoed Seokjin’s lifeless stare and prompted, “You mean when I was meeting up with Jung Hoseok, our best friend of six years?”
Seokjin puffed with annoyance, “Forget that part. Just… what if something happens to me and you don’t even know where I’m going or who I’m meeting!”
“Good riddance, I guess.” Yoongi shrugged.
Seokjin’s jaw fell on the ground from incredulity. “You are absolutely a monster! You don’t even care about what happens to me!”
Defeated, Yoongi turned to his best friend, “Before this turns into some angsty fanfic fight, Mr. Drama Queen. Hold your horses because I know exactly where you’re going.”
Disbelieving, Seokjin placed his hands on his hips as he pressed, “How would you know when I haven’t told you?”
Exhausted from Seokjin’s theatrics, Yoongi prodded to the nearby wall where a monthly calendar was hanging on. He impatiently pointed on today’s date, which was encircled in an obnoxious red pen with a note in the similar color: Meeting TreeJune at Max Brenner Chocolate Bar 7:00 PM <3 can’t wait OMG I’m so excited sksksks
“Oh.” Seokjin blinked before flashing an awkward smile.
Perhaps Jungkook was weak when it came to sleep. More specifically, amazingly resting sleep. It was 11 PM and he had been trying to sleep on his own bed for the past two hours to no avail. He had been studying relentlessly for the past six hours and was ready for heavy exhaustion to claim him. Yet as he laid awake on his bed, he was crestfallen… because he knew what he was giving up, simply because he couldn’t bring himself to ask Yoongi to keep him company tonight. After midnight had passed, Jungkook knew that this was a futile attempt and found himself rushing downstairs then speed-walking through the three blocks that stood on the way between him and his reviving slumber.
Once he was face to face with the door of Yoongi’s apartment, he found himself momentarily hesitating. What was he supposed to say, ‘Hey Yoongs, I know we both hate other people invading our personal space but how does a nap sound like?’ A yawn extinguishes his doubt and as he was about to knock, the door opened to reveal an exhausted Yoongi in his pajamas with a heavy, warm coat.
The two looked at each other with surprise. Yoongi spoke with a casual tone, “I was just on my way to-” a sigh, “You know what? Fuck it. How does a nap sound like?”
Jungkook couldn’t stop the Cheshire grin from spreading on his lips as he answered, “Sounds like a plan.”
Min Yoongi hadn’t felt this well-rested since forever. He didn’t just feel charged up but he felt rejuvenated to the core. You know the kind of sleep you get after a whole day’s worth of working? Multiply that by seven times more. That’s how energized he felt. What he didn’t expect, however, was the situation that greeted him when he woke up.
Jung Hoseok and Kim Seokjin stood before him and Jungkook.
“Look at them. A puppy and a kitten.” Seokjin cooed.
“They’re both so precious.” Hoseok agreed.
Yoongi watched this exchange wordlessly with a crippling sense of fear slithering in his guts.
The two exchanged a look and both take out their phones at the same time while whispering, “Perfect blackmail material.”
Panicking, Yoongi jostled Jungkook awake then, who screamed bloody murder.