Archive of Our Own

Aeryn sat in the gun mount, holding her breath, holding back the tears. John had insisted on piloting his module. She had argued that he was too weak, that he needed to get help, but he had ignored her. He had said that he was coming back, but she had seen the look in his eyes, the doubt. It was all too plain that John believed he was sacrificing himself for them, for the universe.

Looking out the hole in the wall, even in broad daylight, she watched the fireball shooting through the wormhole. Fear gripped her. “John? Are you…?” She couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence.

“Yeah, baby, I’m still here,” he replied tiredly.

Relieved, she leaned her head back against the wall, tears breaking through and streaming down her cheeks.

“Told you I’d come back,” he replied with a weak laugh.

“We’ll meet you onboard Talyn,” she replied before grabbing Rygel to await Stark or Crais coming to get them. “Crais, we’re ready for pickup.”

“Stark will be down for you momentarily.”

“Do you have… does Talyn have any anti-radiation supplies?”

“Some. Why?”

“John took a massive dose of radiation. He needs treatment as soon as he arrives. He’s already getting weak. I just hope that humans are close enough that it works.”

“I’ll have the DRDs prepare for his arrival.”

**************

Crais was standing outside the hangar bay, waiting for Talyn to finish pressurize it. As soon as the door opened, the hatch to Crichton’s module lifted up too, but the human was still sitting at the controls.

“Hey, Crais, be with you in a minute. Just shutting…” John shook his head, trying to focus.

Crais hurried to the module to help Crichton out. “Aeryn told me you were dosed by radiation. Allow me.” Once he'd gotten Crichton out, Crais lowered him him down onto a gurney, nearly sprinting as he wheeled him to medbay to begin the anti-radiation treatments.

“I’m dying, Crais. Don’t waste your time,” John muttered weakly.

Furrowing his brow at the readings and then adjusting the anti-radiation serums and other equipment, Crais responded, “While you have received a massive dose of radiation, your death is by no means certain yet. Peacekeeper technology is far more advanced than yours.” He poised his hand over the controls. “This may… hurt.”

John screamed out as the light of the device enveloped him. When it was over, he groaned. “Dammit, Crais, you don’t need to hurry things along.”

Scanning Crichton again, Crais appeared pleased with the results. “Contrary to what you believe, I am trying to save you. That beam neutralizes radiation. You will need another dose shortly and then I will begin the cellular regeneration. It appears that you will survive after all.”

Aeryn ran into the medbay and rushed to John’s side. Looking at Crais, she asked, “How is he?”

“Crais says I’m going to live,” John replied weakly.

“He is correct.” Crais replied in confirmation. “The treatment seems to have been effective. He will need one more before I begin the regeneration.”

Aeryn took hold of John’s hand. “That’s wonderful news, isn’t it?” Tears were still gliding down her cheeks, but she did nothing to try to hide them.

“Yeah. I’m glad it’s working out, babe. I think… I’m going to… rest.”

Aeryn looked nervously at Crais.

“It’s an understandable side effect. It is safe for you to remain with him while I continue the procedure.”

******************

Aeryn stayed by his side for hours. John was either in a deep sleep or a coma, she wasn’t sure which. Crais told her that the neutralization had been effective and that the regeneration was now working. Even though Crais had told her that and the monitor showed John’s vital signs were steadily improving, she still wanted to hear his voice to prove it to herself.

She woke up when she felt someone caressing her hair. She couldn't even remember falling asleep. Looking up, she saw the arm reaching out from the direction of the bed. “John?”

He smiled softly at her. “I’m feeling much better. Seems that Crais was right.” He looked around the room. “Where is Captain Crunch, anyway?”

“He’s in command, searching for some sign of Moya. With Xhalax gone it’s safe for us to return now.”

“Yeah. It’ll be good to get back.”

She could tell that he was thinking about something. “What is it?”

“I’m just thinking of the other me. Wondering what he’s been doing, and how this is going to change things. I mean, you and I…”

“I know. I don’t know how it’s going to be either. I mean, the two of you were the same once, but now you’re not. I…”

“Yeah. He won’t be too happy about this. But it had to happen at some point. Anyway, I’m sure we have a few solar days to think about this before we have to deal with it. Meanwhile, if you don’t mind, I think I’d like to get some sleep. That treatment's really wiped me out.”

“Sure.”

“Aeryn? You get some rest, too. Hear? And I mean in your quarters, not here. You look like hell.” He smiled at her, letting her know that he was teasing.

“I’ll check with Crais and see how the search for Moya is going and then I’ll get some rest.” After taking in his gaze, she added, “I promise.”

Once she made sure that he was asleep, she left medbay for command. “Anything yet?”

“Nothing. Though it is entirely possible that Moya ran into difficulty en route to the rendezvous. Besides, we are still too away far for communications with Moya even if she is there. How is he?” Crais asked, genuine concern in his voice.

“He woke up momentarily and seems to be doing better. He looked and sounded better, and the monitors show his vital signs are nearly normal. Thank you.”

“I know what he means to you, as does Talyn. Whatever we can do to help… Besides, after seeing what wormholes are capable of, I think we will need his help to ensure that they do not fall into the wrong hands.” He gave her an appraising glance. “You should get some rest.”

“And what about you?” she asked defensively.

“I have gotten rest. Stark mans command while I have my rest period. He can be amazingly capable when lucid.” He looked at her softly and placed a hand on her shoulder. “You have ensured that Crichton is fine. Now it is time for you to look after yourself. If you don’t, I’ll have one of the DRDs keep you locked in your room.”

“I understand, Captain. I’ll be in my quarters.” She was pleased to see that he had finally developed a sense of humor.

***************

After Aeryn was gone, Crais sent one of the DRDs to keep an eye on Crichton should he wake again. He then directed his energies to helping Talyn locate Moya or, failing that, a planet where they could resupply. The young gunship was still not right, but he was closer to normal. The damage that Xhalax had done was quite severe. With time, he thought that Talyn would be able to recover, though he was still unsure what blending his engrams with Talyn’s would do. It had been risky, but there hadn’t been time to find another solution.

~Do you regret what you did to save me?~ Talyn asked, sensing what was upsetting his captain.

“No, I don’t regret my actions. I did what was necessary to save you. I would do it again.”

~Will I be alright?~ Talyn asked nervously.

Crais took a moment before responding. But he knew that if he took too long, Talyn would only go searching the answer. “I don’t know if you will be alright. What Xhalax did to you… I have done my best with the resources available to me to make you whole,” he replied sadly, feeling helpless.

~I… am sorry.~

“For what?” Crais was confused.

~I am sorry for what I did to you. The pain I caused you. It was wrong of me.~

Shocked by this apology, Crais didn’t know what to say. “I understand why you behaved as you did. There is nothing to apologize for.” He could only assume that the sharing of emgrams had given Talyn new insights into the pain he had caused.

After that, Talyn conducted his scans in silence. Crais used this time to reflect on what he had seen a wormhole do. That level of destruction had been previously unimaginable. Crichton was correct, no one should have that power. Of course, should Scorpius learn what had just happened, his desire to capture Crichton would only increase. At least all who had witnessed the events and survived would keep it to themselves.

Talyn alerted him when Crichton regained consciousness. Deciding he needed to talk to the human about recent events, he headed to medbay. Walking into the room, he checked the monitors before asking, “How are you feeling?”

“A hell of a lot better. I’m not sure what you did, but it seems to have worked.”

“I am relieved to hear that.”

“So, you’ve decided you don’t want to kill me after all?”

A pained look crossed Crais’ face. “I never wanted to kill you. Not recently, that is. I have apologized for that behavior and allow me to do so again. I do not hold you responsible for Tauvo’s death. Wormholes are… unpredictable. I was angry and distraught and needed someone to blame. You were… convenient.”

“Yeah, from what Maldis showed us… Well, I can see why you were upset. The two of you were close, weren’t you?”

Crais wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about his brother. “Very.” Talyn provided him the perfect opportunity to change the subject. “Talyn would like to apologize for his actions while we were trapped in the Budong. He was not thinking clearly.”

“Not thinking clearly or acting on your orders?” John asked cautiously.

“As you saw, I do not have control over Talyn. He can choose to obey my orders, but he can also resist. He says that he acted improperly on my feelings towards Aeryn. Feelings which are inappropriate. She has chosen you and I respect that. I believe that part of how I acted derives from the fact that she is the only Sebacean here; she is something familiar. My attraction for her was based on that. Talyn understands that as well. We are both learning to let go of our Peacekeeper indoctrination.” While this was not entirely true, he did not want to do anything to undo the friendship he was forming with Crichton. Besides, Aeryn would never be his, and acting on his feelings would be pointless.

“Tough stuff, huh?”

As always, Crais found conversations with Crichton quite difficult as tried to understand what the translator microbes were telling him. “It is what we were taught from the day we were conscripted. It is hard to change a way of thinking that one has had for that many cycles. In Talyn’s case, it was what he was programmed with… and what I taught him. We are re-examining our lives.”

After several long microts of silence, John asked, “So, Aeryn says you’re looking for Moya; any luck?”

“Not as yet, though we are not close enough to the rendezvous site to determine if she is there.” There was an uncomfortable silence. “Crichton, about the wormhole…”

“I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t have another choice.”

“I realize that, but if Scorpius were learn about your… success, it would increase his desire to capture you. A weapon such as that could bring about the destruction of the Scarrans rather quickly.”

After a few microts John asked, “Would you do it? Would you use it?”

Crais shook his head. “What I saw… That is a power that no one should have.” He paused. “I will do whatever I can to safeguard that information.”

“Thanks, Crais. Something tells me I’ll need all the protection I can get.”

“We shall endeavor to do our best. You seem to be healing quite nicely. You may leave the medbay when you feel up to it.”

“Crais the doctor, who would’ve thunk it? You did good.”

“Nothing more than basic Peacekeeper medical training. You were most fortunate I had the necessary supplies.”

“Yeah. I thought for sure that I was a goner. That sort of radiation… Well, it tends to be lethal for us. Good thing I was here, isn’t it?” He gave a weak laugh. “Where’s Aeryn?”

“I sent her to her quarters to rest. Watching over you exhausted her.”

“Great. I think I’ll join her.” He watched Crais turned to leave. “Thanks, man.”

“You have already thanked me.”

“Not for saving me. For helping with the Scarrans. I hadn’t expected you to stick around.”

Crais turned around and smiled. “I couldn’t very well let you face them alone. After all, Talyn was created to fight the Scarrans.” With that he left, leaving Crichton to wonder about his motives.

************

It took nearly seven solar days, but they finally located Moya.

During that time, they had found a planet on which to resupply. Crais, still nurturing Talyn, and Aeryn and Crichton had remained onboard while Stark and Rygel had gone down to the surface of Valldon.

They were only supposed to be gone for a few arns, but had been gone for nearly a solar day. During that time, both of them were out of communications, and Crais had grown apprehensive since they had the only transport pod. Talyn was growing another one, but it would still be some time until it would be ready. And Crichton’s pod had been destroyed; they had been unable to purge the radiation.

When the pod had finally returned, Rygel had been the only one onboard. He had muttered something about Stark hearing Zhaan and leaving to search for her. Since Crais did not consider Stark a great loss, he did not pursue any further information, though both Crichton and Aeryn had asked for more information. As he carried supplies to storage, he overheard Rygel mention the planet was strange, populated with mystics like Stark. Crais was suddenly glad he had not gone down to the surface.

As time wore on, Crais was beginning to wish that Rygel had been the one to remain behind on Valldon.

“Why aren't they at the rendezvous point? If I have to spend two more microts on this midget ship... I'm going to vomit!” Rygel said irritably.

Crais did his best to maintain his patience, but was glad to finally have good news to report. “Talyn has found Moya... at the extreme range of his senses. “

Still not satisfied, Rygel replied, “Oh! Was it too much to ask that they be where they said they'd be?!”

“Aeryn, Crichton, we have located Moya and are setting an intercept course,” Crais announced over comms.

The two arrived in command in a matter of moments. Crais barely glanced over his shoulder at their entrance. He and Talyn were unnerved by Moya’s response to their communication.

“What is it?” asked Aeryn.

“Something is wrong. Talyn senses it, and so do I. Moya won’t tell him what it is, though.”

“What sort of wrong? Is Moya hurt? Being held captive?” John watched Crais anxiously.

Furrowing his brow in concentration, he took a few microts before answering. “Talyn’s scans show that Moya is uninjured. At this distance he can discern nothing else. All Moya will tell him is that the others will explain it to us.”

John replied soberly, “Then we’d best get there and figure out what has her all bent out of shape.” He looked around a microt, but no one questioned his colloquialism, a measure of how on edge everyone was.

When they arrived at the rendezvous point, they boarded the transport. Everyone was quiet, contemplating what they might find when they arrived on Moya. The pod landed and John was the first one to disembark.

Chiana was the only one waiting for them. A look that could only be described as a combination of happiness and grief was on her face. “John… It’s good to see you.”

“Where are the others?” John asked as the others joined him.

“Jool and D’Argo are in their quarters. The other… you… he-he’s…”