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Jason is a graceful man, but not in the morning before his first coffee on a studio day.
He half-stumbled, half-swayed to the kitchen, stubbing his toe on the bottom of the stairs before narrowly missing running smack into the kitchen door. That made him yip in surprise and then glare at the door, grumbling that he didn’t have a posh useless door in his Manchester home, which was designed for common sense thankyouverymuch.
He finally got into the kitchen, thanking himself that he always had his posh stupid Keurig ready to go before bed and he at least wouldn’t have to grind beans like he did back in Manc. But before he could make it over to push the button, he saw something unexpected on his kitchen island.
It was a veggie omelette, full of spinach and peppers as he liked it. But with the black olives as eyes, a halved jalapeno as the nose, and a half circle made of cherry tomatoes giving the de-facto face a huge grin. As he reached out and touched the plate holding it, Jason noted that the plate was warm, meaning that it was fairly freshly cooked.
To the right of the plate was a buttered crumpet. Above that was a glass of orange juice. In the top left of the plate was a cup of coffee in a mug that Jason had never seen before, with a picture of him in the 90’s that made him inwardly groan.
Steam was rising out of the cup, and Jason picked it up and took a sip.
“Hmmmmm, coconut milk,” he murmured as he looked at a note printed below the plate. Written in all-caps Comic Sans, it read, “Happy Birthday Jay!!!!”
He reached for his mobile and started scrolling through the screens.
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Thirty minutes later, Jason arrived at Gary’s garden studio. Unsurprisingly, all three were there. Even more unsurprisingly, they were acting completely suspiciously.
“Hello Jay,” Mark said. “Having a good morning?”
Jason thumped Mark on the back of his head as he walked by.
“I guess you lot would know,” he said. “Seeing as you were just in my kitchen.”
Gary tried his very best to look completely taken aback at this. He failed.
“Your kitchen?” he said. “Why would be there? We’ve been in the studio this whole time.”
Howard tried not to laugh.
“I think one of your conquests is trying to impress you Jay,” he said. “Or maybe you’re sleep-cooking again.
Jason looked annoyed.
“It was only that one time,” he said. “And that’s only because I’d sleep-cleaned everything already.”
Howard rolled his eyes.
“I had a little surprise in my kitchen,” Jason continued. “A omelette like one of Howard’s Twitter creations. A picture of orange juice that looks just like the one Mark posted on Twitter 30 minutes ago. And a mug that’s straight out of Gary’s collection.”
Gary looked impressed that Jason had put all that together. But Mark just started crowing to an abashed Howard.
“See, I told you he lurks on Twitter!” he laughed. “You owe me 20 quid!”
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P.S. The note was copied from an email from Rob. Font and all.