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It had been a long, rough day.
After the many attacks class 1A had to bear, one would expect them to be used to fight villains by now, but sometimes it's still hard to not become overwhelmed by your feelings.
Mina had always considered herself to be quite an enterprising girl. She rarely held back and was always ready to jump in front of a dangerous situation if someone else's life was at stake.
She remembered very clearly that time in middle school when she helped those girls escape from that very scary looking man. She had jumped in front of them and protected them from the man, trying to make her voice sound as confident and calm as possible while telling him to go away.
(She also didn't forget the trembling feeling in her legs, nor the racing beat of her heart as she hoped with all her might that he would just leave them alone.)
Today, the situation hadn't been much different.
She was walking back to school after some shopping when she saw a child trying to get away from a sketchy looking woman.
True to her kind nature, she hadn't hesitated to run towards them, demanding an explanation and managing to keep the woman busy after realizing that she was, in fact, trying to rob the child.
Mina had managed to fight against her for enough time before the police intervened. She had felt so glad that the young boy was safe, but at the same time, she felt an overwhelming wave of sadness clutching her heart, making it hard for her to breathe.
"It must be that woman's quirk." She thought.
Nevertheless, she plastered a big toothy smile on her face and ruffled the young boy's hair. Heroes mustn't show weakness in front of civilians. Plus, she was Mina. She wasn't supposed to cry. She was supposed to smile and laugh and bring happiness to others.
So, she waved goodbye to the boy and the police officer, thanking him for his help, and headed back to UA.
It was getting harder and harder to breathe, her chest feeling tighter by the minute and her eyes burning with the necessity to cry.
"No, I can't cry. Mina never cries." She repeated this to herself until she reached the school.
With the same big, fake smile she flashed the kid earlier, she greeted her classmates gathered in the common room, before heading to her own bedroom to place the new clothes she had bought in the closet.
Opening the wardrobe, she caught sight of her old dancing clothes, a simple black sports bra and a pair of black and pink leggings. She took them and as soon as her hands touched the familiar fabric, she was brought back to the times when she used to dance.
She used to spend hours on end in the gym near her home, simply dancing without a care in the world.
Back then she didn't feel the weight of her future career, she just lived the present, and her present was dancing.
(Back then she was free.)
Feeling nostalgic, she put on the sports wear and headed to the school's gym, where there was a dancing room. There she connected her phone to the stereo speakers and pressed shuffle on her old dancing playlist.
She used the first few songs as a warm up, trying to remember the way she used to feel in middle school. She moved slowly at first, but soon closed her eyes and let her body move on its own, head free of thoughts.
Until, a song.
Get up on the floor
Dancin' all night long
Get up on the floor
Dancin' till the break of dawn
Get up on the floor
Dancin' till the break of dawn
Get up on the floor
Dancin'
Mina's eyes snapped open in a second. She looked at her phone, listening to the song that had first introduced her to dancing and that she turned to every time she wasn't feeling particularly good.
After contemplating it for a few seconds, she felt her arms move by themselves, her fingers snapping in time with the music.
The tightening sensation in her chest hadn't stopped, and this song and the memories it held only contributed to worsening it.
Her arms were swaying left and right, in sync. Soon, Mina felt the urge to move her legs too. She felt the need to step right and left, forward and backwards, to spin around and let her worries be for just a few minutes.
So that's what she did.
She closed her eyes again and let the flow of the music enter her. Her ears were trying to focus on every beat, every sound, every shift in the tone of the singer.
All the time
My baby you on my mind
And I don't know why
Yeah but the feeling is fine
She started to sway her hips slowly, lifting her arms up above her head, intertwining her hands together. She then gingerly lowered them, caressing her hair and face, feeling her sides. The rhythm that was engraved in her head finally coming back.
Can't you see
Yo' honey you are for me oh
It were meant to be
She moved the hands on her sides, so that she was now hugging her waist. The position had always made her feel vulnerable, like she needed protection. Mina Ashido didn't need that, she was strong.
(Or at least, that's what she wanted to believe.)
Maybe, just maybe, this time she would concede herself this. So she tightened the hold, squeezing her waist briefly before opening her arms wide and moving her head up.
Dancin' in the moonlight
G azing at the stars so bright
Holding you until the sunrise
Sleeping until the midnight
Mina opened her eyes with the new verse. Looking at the bright lights on the ceiling was making her eyes sting a little. Or were they stinging because of the lingering pain in her chest?
She moved one leg backwards, lifting her left leg up. With her hand she grabbed her ankle, keeping it in the air before abruptly letting it go. She planted her left foot on the floor and stretched her right leg further down, until she was laying on the floor chest up.
Get up on the floor
Dancin' all night long
Get up on the floor
Dancin' till the break of dawn
Get up on the floor
Dancin' till the break of dawn
Get up on the floor
Dancin'
Mina held her arms above her head and bent her knees before lifting herself up in a bridge. From this position, she got back up on her feet and started to jump left and right moving in time with the music. Her hands never stopped travelling up and down her body, caressing her face and her sides, feeling each little scar and bruise and letting her fingers trail light over them. She smiled softly at the reflection of the young woman who was staring right back at her. The young woman she had become.
Dancin' is what to do
Dancin' when I think of you
Dancin' is what clears my soul
Dancin' is what makes me whole
Dancin' is what to do
Dancin' when I think of you
Dancin' is what clears my soul
Dancin' is what makes me whole
Mina started to suddenly punch the air in front of her, trying to get rid of the bothersome feeling in her chest. Her eyes were still stinging but she tried to bite the tears back.
She never cried. She never cried. She never cried.
Mina hugged herself and then opened her arms, swinging left and right before hugging her body again. "Dancing is what makes me whole"... she always thought this piece of lyrics was made just for her.
Times like this made her feel so happy, so proud of how far she had come. While she was dancing she felt like she could allow herself to be a little selfish, to truly let her vulnerable side out, unafraid of judgement.
Everytime when I look in your eyes
That smile was crying that you were mine
Do you know, your love is true I know
You are the best thing that has happened to me
She looked at her reflection in the mirror and pointed at it while singing along with the singer. She cracked a smile before covering her face with her right hand. Her legs were keeping the beat, but suddenly the sadness that she had tried to fight off spilled out. Clutching at her chest with her left hand, she moved her right hand on her hair, trying to calm her breathing as angry tear started to pool at her eyes.
She started to see all blurry until hot tears were streaming down her cheeks. Her chest was heaving and breathing was even harder, considering the workout and the sobs that the tears brought with them. She looked at herself one more time before kneeling on the floor and covering her face with her hands.
Get up on the floor
Dancin' all night long
Get up on the floor
Dancin' till the break of dawn
Get up on the floor
Dancin' till the break of dawn
Get up on the floor
Dancin'
Mina listened to the song continue, the energy she had before slowly starting to drain from her as every sob wrecked her body. She layed on her side and kept her hand on her heart, feeling its beat speed up. The flow of tears was now uncontrollable, all the times she had fought them, trying to maintain her cheerful persona up, coming right back at her, barely leaving her time to breathe between the sobs. It was like they were taking revenge on her.
Dancin' is what to do
Dancin' when I think of you
Dancin' is what clears my soul
Dancin' is what makes me whole
Dancin' is what to do
Dancin' when I think of you
Dancin' is what clears my soul
Dancin' is what makes me whole
"I'm not strong enough for this" she thought. "How can I be a hero if I can't even manage my own feelings?"
Get up on the floor
Dancin' all night long
Get up on the floor
Dancin' till the break of dawn
Get up on the floor
Dancin' till the break of dawn
Get up on the floor
"I guess not even dancing could help me this time."
Dancin'