Archive of Our Own ^beta

In his favorite novels such stories would begin in stormy cold autumn evenings, but of course his life was different from those. There wasn't even lunch time and sun shined brightly outside, when Shotaro tried to chill a bit with a cup of mediocre made coffee. It was quiet and suddenly he heard sound informing of incoming e-mail. Ah another case to solve, and this time it wasn't lost cat! Interesting! He wanted to read the details when he heard well known voice.

- Hey Shotaro, what do you think I should wear for Omiai? - Philip busted from the garage are,a still with nose in his blank book. Somehow he never tripped over anything even not looking around.

- Well formal suit would be.... what? - utter shock entered his mind, when processed what his partner just said.

- I thought so too. Then I have to get one for this occasion. - the younger man ignored the other one stare, just taking his own wallet.

- Wait wait, just wait...! - Shotaro got up and approached him – What are you talking about. Omiai... you mean planned marriage.

- Yes exactly – Philip grinned at him.

- Why do you...

- Experiment. I feel I'm still lacking in social area even now, after being back for 2 years 8 months and 11 days – he pointed out – this will provide quite good data and...

- No, no , you shouldn't you know... this is... - Shotaro break his partner talk – You could hurt someone!

- How? It is professional meeting. Both sides know it may not work out. Also I put too much effort into this to resign now. It wasn't that easy to forge all the documents you know.

Philip didn't care about any official papers and documents, even after long talk how important are those. With help of own genius, Gaia Library and sometimes bit shabby people, he made himself documents like birth certificate (he used date of his getting back just changed a year), high school diploma (he was still working of one from one of the less known universities, for it to not to be too suspicious), driving license and many more. Shotaro was sure, that his partner could had even Nobel Prize diploma, if he would want it enough. Some of them helped Philip get nice small fortune from his late family and some of their land possessions. At least he wasn't greedy enough to take it all and put himself in danger again. Foundation X was still on the loose.

- There are thousands social experiments to do... why this one? - Shotaro tied to be calm. This new crazy idea of his partner worried him on many levels. Mostly on personal ones.

- Well the girls told me, that men like me without marriage status, sometimes tried it. It sounded interesting, and I wondered if I could play it professional enough. Well usally people try it when get older than me, but why to wait?

Ah yes,the girls. Shotaro hated himself for this because it was mostly his fault.
Few months after Philip returned, he was still quite behind in the social behaviour. That's why Shotaro gave him idea to go as a free listener to some random school, to get some skills in that department. Weeks later Philip got ring of giggling friends, mostly females. They had weekly meetings, and while older man felt bit left out or even envious, he politely declined to go there. Also he was relieved when understood that for Philip is it indeed socializing, broadsiding his way of world view and not... well looking for someone close.

Because oh boy, just few days after Phillips first lessons there, he understood how his own feelings are developing towards younger man. It was so surprising for him, that he checked if its not some Dopant side effect. In theory it wasn't anything bad: both were old enough, free... just... just Philip wouldn't never be interested. Not in that way, Not with him because... well...Younger man was handsome, smart, rich and could choose anyone. Also Shotaro observed him and saw none, even slight sighs of interest. So he locked up his emotions, which was hard on the inside, but easier on the outside. Having heart on the sleeve meant that you can cover some emotions with other emotions. And cases. Lot of cases. Especially on the days, when his mind was wandering into darker corners. Just like now.

- If you really wanted it that way... - Shotaro sighed.

- Don't worry I wont spend Agency money on this. - Philip said like it would be ever any concern for other man.

- Of course, but don't count me of shopping, I have small case to solve. - Shotaro tried to smile and not look to distressed or annoyed.

- Yes, I understand that. Even if your suit taste is top notch, I want something more average, so I've asked one of the girls to help me. Ah, but if you need to look down for the case just call me – Philip said taking the wallet, throwing it to the small backpack, and closing his book. He waved his hand and got outside.

Shotaro took few deeper breaths. Well, he knew one day it could happen. He believed his partner it was just an experiment, but also understood, it might be one for trying to go to date with some sweet girl he met in his circle later.

They were parters, 2 in 1 detective, yet Philip wasn't his prisoner, had the right to have own private life and love interest. Pity it wasn't him.
For calming down and not panicking, solving case was the best. And Shotaro had that mail about checking new one.
He opened his laptop and turn it on. Before, he didn't need more than smartphone for such business, but nowadays he didn't want to annoy his partner with every little question and check-up. To be honest Philip never looked mad about this before, yet now it could change quite fast. Will the young genius actually leave, when finds perfect match? Nonono... it wasn't good time to ponder that. He had case to solve!

Shotaro entered his mail and read the plead. It was missing person, someone's brother left 4 days ago and didn't gave any sign of life. Police didn't got any clues. It was serious, looked like lot of work. Great! And the meeting place was near.
The man wrote the address to be sure to reach right place and after minute he was ready for the meeting. Taking another calming breath, Shotaro put fedora on and left the Agency.

***

It was the back alley and even in the middle of the day silence here was bit disturbing. Yet for Shotaro it was something typical, also wanting to forget todays events was best that he could focus on this even more.

- You are Hidari Shotaro, right? - he heard from behind. When turning around, he saw average man in mid 30. He was smiling bit nervously, but it was expected.

- Why did you choose such place? If your brother is missing, getting to the private detective isn't something not expected? - Shotaro asked.

- Well, I think he was abducted by local mafia...

- Are you sure, that police didn't wanted to help? - Shotaro was surprised, lately the law force was bit more reliable.

- I'm sure because....

Someone caught Shotaro from behind and put something on his face. Last moments before fainting he heard:

- ...because I don't have a brother.

***

He wok up bit dizzy, but otherwise fine. Well he sat on a chair and was chained up to something so stiff, that he couldn't move hands or legs. Damn it! Calling for help or even reaching Philip was impossible then. But where he was anyway? He tried to look around, but it was too dark except the light falling on him form the top. He raised his head and squinted eyes at the square hole that was way above. After a moment he saw silhouette of someone, probably lurking at him.

- Oy you! It's not funny! Release me! - he shouted. His voice echoed in rather empty space.

- It is not funny I know. But you are needed sacrifice, I'm sorry! - - his abductor was the man, who give false case bout non existing brother.

- Sacrifice? What are you talking about?!

- You know I always wanted to join our local gang but their well... exams are bit hard to pass.

- And what it to have to do with me?! Release me! We could talk about your life choices after that! - Shotaro didn't like where this conversation is going.

- Oh it has everything to to with you! You see... - the figure shifted in the hole - … To pass I have to kill of someone from law enforcement. Detectives are also in count. So... you were easiest to reach but also... I'm not that bad you know? So I've researched. You don't have any living family members, no spruce, no kids, just few friends. Thy will mourn for a while and everything will be ok. This city wont cry over you. That's why... please die so I could pass, ok?

- Oi oi oi! Wait! You don't want to be murderer! Someone will find me and then... - he shouted, bits of a panic entering his voice.

- No one will find you, and when they will look for you, it will be too late. For you to be alive and well to trace who did it! Thank you for your cooperation! Bye! - the figure shifted again and put cover on the hole. Now there were only 4 thin strips of light entering the dome, and it wasn't enough to see anything.

Shotaro tired to struggle, to release at least one hand to somehow put Driver on. After some time he felt his wrists and torso were wounded from the friction but the binding was as stiff as before. At first panic pounded his mind, then determination and after some time, apathy. Because maybe that man was right? Killing was always terrible, but what if he wasn't needed anymore? Terui's have now themselves, Philip will find a wife soon. He and Accel could fight remaining Dopants...

The detective tired to push this pessimism away, yet it was hard because those thoughts were present in his mind for many months. Well, he wont go anywhere for now, so it is possible to contemplate in silence. It was better than thinking he will die from starvation or some organ failure anyway.

***

Philip got his suit and wanted to show it to his partner but Shotaro wasn't in the Agency. Well maybe it was better, the detective looked bit distressed over whole event. The Omiai was late afternoon so after that, he will have enough data and the other man should be more calm. For a moment young genius was thinking, where he could be, but it was 'running cat' season so this was most probable answer.

He changed up and looked in the mirror. Ok, now he was bit upset Shotaro couldn't see him. He would blush at least or make some half-boiled comment over it. It would be fun. Oh well, Philip owned the suit so he could show off later.

With that thought he packed needed documents and got out for the meeting. He saw that the bike was still standing near entrance, so maybe his partner will be back soon. Probably scratched all over. And he will have to yet again patch him up.

The Omiai was bit longer and more boring that young genius thought: mostly formality, just talking about money, apartment even children. Good thing was, that the other side, mainly the lady, wasn't interested in him at all, while leaving he heard how she was speaking to her father, that Philip is to much of an eccentric and to little buffed. Like he cared about it, his partner was accepting and from own observation, actually liked how he was.

The whole meeting tired Philip up, so he was bit annoyed when getting back at dusk time, didn't saw lights turned on. Shotaro never looked for a cat that long, and never would try it at night. Also any night cases were serious enough, that he would contact him and ask for stand by. Well that was the case normally, but from few months Philip made maybe 2 or 3 researches for his partner. Now it was striking, weren't there other, harder cases in all this time? Did Shotaro went that good for a detective or was there something more to it?

Entering the agency Philip looked around. Nothing was touched, that meant Shotaro didn't return even for a moment , but also didn't take the bike. Maybe after solved case he got to a bar with some of his buddies? It was rare, but happened occasionally. With that thought Philip took of the suit and put his comfortable clothes. Nowadays he fancied colourful sweatshirts or hoodies with zippers and some comfy pants. After filling mug with some water he sat in Shotaro chair and started the research about mattress types. It wasn't random this time. His partner said in the morning, that his back are hurting after waking up and he literally feels the springs inside the bed. Maybe changing it will make him feel better? Especially after the stress over Omiai. For Philip it wasn't anything terrible but Shotaro wasn't pleased with it. That might be also the reason for his partner not being at the Agency now.

He wok up from researching and noting information trance, when he got all needed details. It was totally dark outside now and the clock show it was past 22. Younger man saw his partner tipsy just two times (one was after his revive) and even in such condition he would never not inform him about prolonged staying whatever the reason. Did he forget their agreement about it? Not to worry other part by disappearing suddenly?

Well tough luck, because Philip learn one neat trick while rebuilding his body back then. By concentrating enough, he could summon Shotaro's Driver on the owner belly to lit up the telepathy contact. He got into his searching posture and focused properly.

“Good evening, Shotaro!” - he shouted trough the link, with a bit annoyed tone.

“Huh? Oh ...Evening Philip” - mental voice on the other side sounded exhausted, not intoxicated.

“Where are you?” - that made Philip bit of worried.

“I wish I knew” - slow answer reached young genius.

“What do you mean you don't know? What happened Shotaro?!” - he knew it wasn't any joke or a prank, this wasn't like his partner at all.

“Don't laugh, but I think I was kidnapped. And by average person not a dopant, silly isn't it?” - Shotaro mind laughed bitterly.

“What...?! Why...?” - that sound very absurd, but mind link didn't let to lie smoothly both parties could feel it, so his partner was telling the truth.

“I've got false case to crack up. Wasn't alert enough... The worst part is I'm some sort of exam pass. That is ridiculous. I wasn't caught because revenge or anything but just being most useless” - resigned tone of the answer was even more worrying now.

Philip didn't like the sound of his partner mind at all. It had to be tiredness, but also, maybe something more.

“Try to concentrate and tell me all the details place where are you held” - younger man said calmly trying not to spiral anything negative onto his partner.

“It's an empty dome with enter on the celling. Oh and it's filling with water occasionally” - Shotaro said factually.

“How do you know that?”

“Well I feel water under my feet, which wasn't there before. So I'll drown. That's a relief, I heard starvation is really nasty.” - his mind dry laughed yet again. Underneath it however crept something much darker with a hint of deep fear.

“Shotaro, please clam down. There must be something more. There are hundreds places like that in Fuuto. It sounds like you're in the water recycle tank, which are quite popular these days.” - Philip didn't like this at all. It was hard to not to get scared in this situation.

“There isn't anything more. I'm here at least few hours. I didn't hear anything, no cars, people, nothing. Just me sitting here bind to a chair... At least that guy will pass his exam.” - this time it was a flat, borderline sarcastic tone.

“What exam? Shotaro?” - Philip understood that he has to be the calm one, but it was s o difficult right now.

“ He has to kill someone related to the law. I was easiest target. Also that person said I don't have any living family members or anyone like that, just bunch of friends so killing me wont be that bad for society.” - the tone of his mind spew this information neutrally, without any deeper emotion attached.

“He is obviously wrong” - Philip mind on the other hand was upset now and made this clear statement as hard as he could.

“Nah, he is right to a degree. I mean any murder is bad and will make someone upset but...Look, Akiko has her small family now, right? And you was experimenting with Omiai to actually date some nice lady and make own family. After losing last one you would like to bond with have kids right? So yeah, killing me is actually less stressful in general, for everyone”

After putting those thought in the air Shotaro sensed wave of pain from Philip side. He never felt such a dread from his partner before. It was mixed with panic and sadness.

“Shotaro, you're so tired even your dark sense of humour is way over scale. Akiko and Terui Ryu, both are holding you as a part of family. As for me.. I don't look for any woman. I'm in relationship with you, I thought you knew that...” - his mental voice was somehow slow and exhausted now. Bit cracked up. There was moment of silence. Then the older man tried to answer as clear as he could.

“Yes we are partners. For job purposes. Two in one detective, Kamen rider W. But lately we didn't do much of a work together, right? You have better things to do. It's... I understand, Philip.”

“No you don't! We are a couple, romantic one, are you ashamed of it, or what?” - now the younger man sounded angry again. What is Shotaro even thinking?!

“We are a couple? A pair? Since when?!” - the older man was so surprised he almost laughed aloud. It was such abstract information, he didn't knew what to do with it.

“Since half a year or so. That time I felt our relationship is changing. After research, I understood I'm in love with you, and your body language said the you feel the same, so I've assumed...”

This was bit too much even for someone so understanding as Shotaro. His apathy and inner sadness turned into hot irritation.

“You assumed wrong Philip! The hell! Relationships don't work like that! You have to talk about it! And I've observed you. YOUR body language said nothing, so I didn't even try to initiate anything!From my perspective I was like always, your partner for work to you, Thats all...” -even after shouting it all, the older man didn't feel much better. - “And suddenly you jump out with the Omiai deal, after meeting with all those ladies lately. What do you think I thought?!”

“Since for me we were together It was just...” - Philip was taken aback by Shotaro sudden outburst. Was this all the stress that build up because of kidnapping or just his partner feelings that were hidden there for a longer time?

“No, Philip geez... You.. you don't do that if you're in relationship. Sometimes your egocentrism is too much” - slowly the detective subdued - “do you even understand what it means to be in one? To be a pair? What reason is behind it?” - he felt silent. The younger man didn't had the right image of this. Maybe even took close friendship as something more?

Philips mind on the other hand was working on higher gear. So what, Shotaro didn't knew? Felt left out? He himself really didn't gave any signs of closing bonds, of love? Philip thought about everything his partner did for him in the past. All the tenderness, friendship and even more basic things like warm meals and taking care for him in general. And what he did for his older partner? The realization hurt somehow. He really didn't show much affection... and there were so many good moments for it. IT was to late to change the past, however nothing was stopping him to try to fix it now, till he still have time.

“So you need it now? Yes?” - Philip started and felt that even if this was just mental link, his whole body reacted making his heart beat faster and sweating more” I fell in love with you Shotaro. In a romantic way.” - his inner voice got soft and kind - “And I want spend rest of my life with you. That's why that terrible man was mistaken. You have a family, you have spruce. I'm not interested in women, well to be honest I'm not interested in anyone beside you. My heart is compatible only with yours. That is my statement” - he finished at last and tried to sent a wave of hope to his partner.

They both knew he was speaking the truth, yet Philip didn't knew if his partner understood it enough. Even if he didn't show his affection in a proper way before, now it was his turn to have a heart on his sleeve.
Uncomfortable silence filled mind link and for a moment Philip was afraid that Shotaro somehow closed connection. Yet seconds later a wave of so many different emotions hit the younger man hard.

Shotaro cheeks blushed and then he felt his face started to get wet.

“I... just...” - his mind couldn't fix proper thought.

“And you? Do... do you feel something similar towards me?” - Philip mind flow was delicate now, almost in fear, because what if for his partner his feelings wasn't that strong and important?

Shotaro knew that he can't lie while linking, can't make any excuses. His partner was social idiot and genius in other topics at the same time. He should point him out this flaw, this blown up ego long ago before this. No no, it wasn't all his fault. They both failed bad. But was there time to fix it?

“I love you with all my being Philip, even if I don't deserve it back” - he send his message at last trough the link. What else he could add?

“I need to build mental slipper to hit you for such conclusion! I deserve your love. You deserve mine. We both want it! We don't hurt anyone with it! So what is your problem with that, Shotaro?!” - oh he was angry now. There was hint of relief in it, he felt the same, yet older man pessimistic approach pissed Philip off.

Shotaro could just laughed mentally now. Good, it will burn up some of the panic and sadness. Somehow he himself felt... refreshed now. The sluggish feeling was washed from his heart, by that silly genius man.

“I don't problem with our feelings, not anymore. Thank you for... for your words...It means a lot to me.” - his mental voice was so pleasant, that it calmed down his partner quite a bit. Now it was time to get back to the main topic.

“Good... now... focus... I need more keywords to find you.. Please concentrate. There must be something else” - Philip almost begged. He couldn't loose him. Not now not ever. And he will do everything to get Shotaro back.

“I don't see anything particular. Don't hear much too... “ - then something flickered in his mind - “Wait... maybe that is a clue!.. Philip I don't hear the wind. And the closing of this place wasn't leak-proof. Where is the sound of the wind? We live in Fuuto. There are small amount of places where you can't hear it at all this time of a year!”

“...no wind” - younger man entered the keyword still holding their link. The number of books dropped drastically .”..Ah... there are only 2 potential places where you could be! I'll ask Terui for help” - -Philip sounded excited. There was still hope! IT will end fine, he was so sure of it!

“Ok, better hurry then ..the water level is reaching my belt now” - he tried to sound casual, but after the confession, the whole conversation he wanted to be alive more, than any time in his life. And drowning wasn't best option for this.

His partner didn't answer but didn't break connection either. Probably he wanted to feel Shotaro presence and living mind all the time.

***

Terui was ready and competent enough to quickly cover one of the spots. With that Philip took the helmet and jumped on the bike. His body was full of adrenaline and mind controlling Shotaro state trough the link and praying “let it not be to late” over and over. He understood that this was partially his fault. If his partner was sure of his affection he would left him a note about the case or just be more careful, because his mind wouldn't be occupied by sad train of thoughts. He didn't care about speed tickets or any other thing, there was only one goal. Be there on time. Saving his love, have that happy ending.

He finally understood what Shotaro felt like when he had to literally kill him by turning of Extreme that day. No. that one was even worse, without hope, without ray of light... this time will be different for sure. He will be there, he will save him and then.. and then...!!

Philip pulled over the bike and almost tripped over it running fast toward the covered hole. At first he couldn't lift it up, but determination and adrenaline help enough. He stared into black void.

- Shotaro are you there?! - he shouted and used flash light. His partner wanted to answer, but the water level was so high now, the lder man had to bend his head to be able to breath properly.

Sighing in relief, Philip used the Spider Memory to slide himself down and cut the lines that held Shotaro instantly. The other man could barely stand, so Philip supported him as good as he could.

- Lets use Fang for now, ok? - younger man said softly. He even helped with inserting Joker Memory.

In Fang mode he felt his partner exhaustion even more. They were able to take Shotaro unconscious body out of the dangerous zone and put it safety on the grass outside. Then Philip wanted to end the transformation for now, but in that moment he heard voices.

- Oi what the hell, look boss! Kamen Rider rescued my sacrifice! That's bonkers!

Suddenly Shotaro felt his partner's urge to kill, pure fury, that lit up at those words. It was dangerous especially in Fang form.

“Easy now partner. Those are only stupid people not Dopants...” - he tried to ease him a bit.

“What's the difference, when result could be the same: causality. Your death!” - mind voice of Philip was full of venom.

“I know, but in the end nothing like that happened. We should just catch them and wait for Terui.” - Shotaro didn't had enough strength to explain it more to his partner. Also he had bit of anger in him too.

“We don't have to kill them just... mess around a bit...” - the younger man tone was still low, evil almost.

“Philip, please...” - he tried again, but it sounded weak and half-hearted.

“Nothing permanent Shotaro... just... making them feel... Jail is better than being here with us” - his mind hissed and Rider speed up toward two men.

The Shotaro wasn't strong enough or in a mood to make Philip stop, but at least young genius keep his word and didn't do any permanent damage. Well at least to their bodies.
Kamen Rider Fang chased the two men around let them trip all the times, whispering what he will do to them, when this will be too boring ultimately. Shotaro never saw his partner in such acid rage state. That's why he was relieved when Terui Ryu entered the stage and arrested properly two criminals. Also Accel was wise enough to take with him Jinno only, who knew about Kamen Rider secret for more or less of a year, so they could untransformed safety.

- How are you feeling Shotaro? - Philip asked in a worried tone, helping his partner to sit .

- It had been worse... but I've lost my hat, damn it – he tried to be hard-boiled like always and failed it like always too.

- I'll take you to the hospital just in case - Philip sighed examined his partner for any visible damages.

- It's not needed really, good night rest is all I need right now. - Shotaro tried to sound tough but it didn't work at all. - Ok, ok, lets do it your way. - he tried to stand up and just hissed. After sitting so long in one position and struggling to let himself free, everything hurt like hell. Fortunately he was able to sit at the back of the bike and ride away, holding his partner tightly.

At the Hospital place, his wounds were cleaned up and he got IV drip because, oh irony, of dehydration. Shotaro tried not to show his displeasure he even had to be here, but he refused to stay for the night for observation, having enough of stress for the day. Philip promised the doctor he will ride his partner right away, if any worrying symptoms would occur.

After the treatment and finally at home, Shotaro felt good enough to get quick shower and buried into his bed. It was the middle of the night and he didn't fell sleepy at all, especially when he was watched intensely by his partner, who was sitting in the armchair with own knees under his chin.

- Hey, maybe you go to sleep hm? It was a rough day for you too? - the older man whispered looking at him softly.

- I don't feel like it. - Philip answered in a flat tone. He was sulking, and it was way too obvious.

- Ah... - he felt cold wave going trough his body - I'm... I'm sorry... for all the trouble. I'll repay you for it... do you want your favourite food for breakfast for lets say next week? Or maybe... - again he tried to laugh it off.

- No, stop – Philip got up – I'm not angry at you but myself... - he took deep breath and massaged his temples nervously - I... I'm really... that egocentric, that I didn't noticed how you're struggling near me, because I thought everything was clear between us, yet I ignored basic interaction: the actual talk.

- To be honest it is something I kinda like about you also. The huge ego. Just in moderate quantity – Shotaro chuckled. He was in such high spirits right now to counter Philip mood. He survived, his partner confessed to him, was there anything better to get? Well Teruis coffee would be nice but you can't have everything.

- That's not funny Shotaro – Philip approached him and sat on the edge of his partner bed. - Because of me you were so unfocused on the case you could get killed. And your trust in my wanting to be your partner, even if only for detective cases, declined so much that you don't even asked for look ups recently. I'm the one to blame, I'm aware of that, however... please tell me when I'm inappropriate toward you, because you scolded me about it towards others but... I don't want to be your burden, you understand that, right? - it was rare for Philip to be so distressed and emotional so Shotaro tensed bit up and became more serious.

- I'm the same, I wanted to give you more freedom, so you wouldn't feel like prisoner of getting up the information. Especially now, when you don't have to actually work for a living, now that you are free, that you can explore yourself and the world. - the older man said it carefully.

- You know I like to research toward the cases, right? And I want to protect this city too. It gave me new family, new purpose, even after all terrible events that were in the past. And it gave me you. So lets be proper partners again, please... - he almost whined. IT was clearly seen how nervous the young man was, not being sure what to do and what to say at all.

Shotaro sat up. He really didn't want to sadden Philip at all. Carefully he patted his back and lay hand on his shoulder. In than moment his partner turned a bit and caught him in a awkward hug. Well they did confessed to each other, yet this was so new thing. Slowly he grabbed younger man and pulled tight.

- I was... so scared and confused... I... I could lost you because my own ignorance... - Philip was on an edge of crying.

- And I was too passive. We both messed up, partner. For our luck everything ended well. - he sighed, still holding Philip tightly.

They stayed that way for some time, in a sticky, deep silence. After that Philip was the first one who made his move. He pushed Shotaro down and rolled a bit off, so they laid side by side, then snatched his palm and held it tight with a hint of desperation.

- Hey... tell me.. What else my egocentrism almost blew up. Or what it blew up actually...

- Philip..you... - the older man thought for a moment what to say - Well all have our own pros and cons, so don't beat yourself too much over it.

- But that's the thing Shotaro. I never thought much about those, to be honest, I didn't at all. Because of this flaw exactly...

- Well if you must, then ponder this yourself. When do you think you messed up because of it? - the older man asked curiously.

It was interesting mental experiment and in normal conditions Philip would be more excited about, now however he had put all his mental strength and focus to do it.

- I think... one case was just before our first Extreme transformation. I... It must have hurt terribly that I wanted to abandon you that easily just for... more power. I didn't want to look for solution to balance us again, almost forget everything you taught me till then, about feelings and emotions...

- To be honest, greater power was needed to defeat the enemy. - Shotaro said quickly.

- It wasn't that threatening. I could search more, we could try then and yet I just felt for Shroud taunt that easily...But now that I'm thinking about it... I did another terrible thing back then. As nasty as neglecting you and your power.

- Oh? And what was that?

- When me and Akiko took you from the water, I've told you, that nobody is perfect and that I accept you the way you are... Yet I didn't think of myself as someone imperfect back then. And I was so wrong, my arrogance almost crushed our bond ,if not for our chief I wouldn't react properly on time . I wasn't perfect that moment at all, it was also my fault we couldn't synchronize... It was obvious yet... I was so stupid back then. - he sighed with irritation.

- You were still learning and the situation wasn't something typical too. - Shotaro tried to calm him down, but it ended only in Philip tensing even more up.

- So what?! I... I wasn't a child anymore... I... called you my irreplaceable partner just two weeks before the event and what I did? And you... why you didn't scolded me afterwards? Why...? - he looked at his older partner and saw how he is trying to avoid his stare. - Answer, please... - he added after a moment.

Shotaro thought intensely what to tell, what words to use, but there wasn't anything to sugar coat his own incompetence.

- I just thought... I deserved that, because of my own weaknesses, because of the events of Begins Night.. I thought that Boss would be more compatible, that he wouldn't have any problems with it. He died, and it was my mistake that pulled toward it so... - it was so hard to tell all of that. Yet the older man felt bit lighter after finishing last word. He also noticed that Philip tension subdued.

- Shotaro... It was not your fault, or at least not in a degree you think of. Did you even thought that it was Narumi Sokichii fault too? That he took such a green horn to a very dangerous mission, without properly prepare him for it? That he wanted to toughen up young man in hard-boiled style, forgetting that he is not him and his thoughts and perception of the world are so much different. Nobody is perfect Shotaro. And now I know there are no exceptions: not you not me and even your previous boss. We all messed up, we ale had to live with consequences of it. Yet you shielded me so much I didn't felt them at all. At the same time I didn't want to feel it. To be honest I was wondering back then, if you will bring back the issue of my 'betrayal”, but you didn't and I was happy that I don't have to response on it... It was same when I wanted to leave with Wakana: you should have to stop me actually and not leave me with that decision alone to make. And I should be more compassionate and think about how you and Akiko would feel about me going with well stranger and abandoning you. Your low self esteem mixed with my egocentrism didn't do too much good back them – Philip sighed, rolled on the bed again and hugged to Shotaro arm – Could we move from that thinking trap a bit? You more aware of own needs and me more aware of you?

- Philip, you were in such complicated and sad situation, even if I've felt like it, I just couldn't bring myself up to push my own agendas onto you. And now... now.... - his mind trailed of a bit. Yes Indeed what now? What they were to each other? What was the best for both them? And for himself? - I love you and you love me, right? - It was hard to tell that aloud, yet he was finally able to do it.

- Yes, we confirmed that few hours ago. ah... but it was stressful situation and not spoke aloud. - Philip might be behind empathy and social lesson, however he was a fast learner -So again. I love you Shotaro and want to be with you in the romantic couple sense. Can I? - it ended with question sounding like a child asking mum for another cookie. Older man couldn't suppress small chuckle.

- Yes, I want it too. - at last he could properly look at his partner face, who still was laying near hugging his arm tight. - So hereby we are official couple. - Shotaro said to break tension a bit – And yes we should learn to talk properly about our needs, however don't count that it will be easy, painless and short process. We both will be struggling a lot. As for now... – he caught one of Philip arms and pulled him close, hugging his partner yet again. Shotaro wanted to do this for a long time, always restraining himself, because of all those stupid beliefs, that he never could be chosen by the younger man in such manner. - ...we need to rest. Lets talk about any details after my full recovery, ok?

- You're not trying escape form the subject, Shotaro? - Philip shifted a bit to be in more comfortable position. Touching, being that near was quite new sensation for him and it was pleasurable at least.

- I was sitting in a hole for many hours and almost drown. No, I'm not running away just need my sleep. You need it too partner. - detective soft whispering voice flow trough the room.

- You're right – Philip sighed and tried to get up, to go to his bed, but was abruptly stopped.

- Are you that uncomfortable? - Shotaro asked, still holding him.

- What? Wait... you want me to stay? To.. sleep here with you? - the confusion and sudden surge of happiness run trough his system.

- Yes.. Why not? It was stressful day, yet I've got a cute boyfriend and sleeping beside him would calm my mind for sure.

At that moment Philip remembered even more, why he fell for this man in the first place. His cheesy quotes, his smile, his warmness and softness, being actually smart and occasionally hard-boiled in a proper way and receiving the feeling of being loved. Now it was his turn to show more affection.

Without a word, he reached the duvet in one hand and pulled it on them. Moving a bit again for the sleep to be most comfortable for both of them, young genius said just 'Good night Shotaro' and closed his eyes.

The other man on the other hand was stunned how easily his partner agreed for it. Well he wanted it so wont argue. Changing bit his position too, for his hands wont get numb he whispered 'Yes, good night partner'. It wasn't first time when they slept at the same place. After Begins Night they just hit mattress without thinking. Next day it was awkward for younger Shotaro, which wasn't understood at all by little devil. Now however both knew what they wanted, vocalize their needs and... It was wonderful feeling. So even with the closeness, which should bring the older man to a quite nervous level, he didn't have a problem to fall asleep.

There was a thought, it might me bit uncomfortable since both off them normally used single bed, yet when he woke up at high noon (good thing Akiko was decent enough and didn't bother them after events of yesterday), Shotaro felt refreshed like never before. There were no nightmares, which crept onto him at least once a week, no waking up on weird sounds (well Philip didn't experiment, so that might be the reason) just straight 9 hours of pure sleep. He smiled to himself and then realized he was the only one who woke up. His partner was still asleep cuddling to his side, curled up. Shotaro wondered if he also slept so well. Now however was the time to get up and fix some lunch, because it was way too late for breakfast.

Slowly he tried to unknot himself from Philip hands. It was success in the end, younger man was still asleep, even if he pouted a bit and grabbed nearby pillow to hug it. With a silly smile, Shotaro reached the kitchen area and thought what to do now. Something easy to digest and also simple to make because, even after great night rest he still was weakened a bit. He also wanted that both of them would enjoy it. To be honest Philip never was picky with food, but like anyone had his favourites. Shotaro made it always when wanted to drag him out from too prolonged researches. He started preparing the food, entering cosy mind images about the thing he thought was impossible: he and Philip as a couple. The detective drifted in them so deep, that didn't heard footsteps behind his back, jut felt someone is warping arms around his waist and putting chin on the shoulder.

- What are you making? - Philip voice was still drowsy and Shotaro could imagine his cute half asleep face now.

- Knowing what time is it, it will be lunch.. and what are you doing? - he chuckled because it sounded like Philip is trying to fall asleep yet again, hanging on him.

- I like to hug you – he said without any shame.

- Y-yes. I like it too but you never tried it before. And you thought we are a couple in your eyes back then.

- I tried it once but you behave like you didn't want it so I left it. - he said with drowsy voice.

- Another proof that sometimes talking is more important than showing. Anyway food is almost ready, maybe sit behind the table

- Mmm gimmie one more minute. - saying this, Philip hugged him tighter and sighed.

Shotaro had to restrain himself very hard not to laugh.

- Ok, just one. I'll put timer on it.

- Are you trying to be hard-boiled now or just plain mean? - he pouted.

- I'm trying to make us breakfast – the older man had to laugh now. Philip was just impossible.

In the end he let his genius hang on him for exactly 4 minutes and 37 seconds, according to the local Philip time and then they could eat at last.
It was nice slow lunch, without hurrying for another case, stressing over in general.

- You know, I'm glad that Akiko gave us a break today, but it isn't like her to not even make a call – Shotaro begun as taking last bite of the food.

- She would do that, however I've called her not to. - Philip said casually.

- What? When?

- I woke up at about 8, you were still in deep sleep and she like to call or visit the place bit later so I took the phone went to the garage and talked to her about it. She was pleasantly surprised and said she didn't think I would be the one to call. So I've said to her I can do at least this much for my boyfriend. - his voice was pleasant and warm, without and excitement or sarcasm.

Shotaro almost spit the food and coughed. Yet after a moment he thought, that their chief would have to know about this sooner or later and at least he didn't had to said it.

- So she was like “I didn't hear about this?” - he joked, when calmed a bit.

- Actually no. Her answer was “It took you long enough to reach that conclusion” and “Its about time”. Sometimes Akiko is the real genius, huh – Philip supported head on his hand.

- To be honest, she is most sane from us all. Maybe that gave her better perspective. Or it was that obvious. - he finished the food ant took the plates to wash them. - Or we are just that dumb.

- Shotaro, did you just called me an idiot? - laughing, Philip bended a little to look at his man.

- W-well... You can't be genius in everything right? - he said slowly.

- Yeah, for our luck I can't – the younger man wasn't offended at all on the contrary, he felt better knowing that his partner doesn't worship him. - Sooo no cases today but maybe a walk? Small shopping? Looking a the trees?

- You are proposing me to go outside? - Shotaro stopped doing the dished and looked surprised at Philip.

- I thought you might like that after spending so many time in small, confined space. Was I wrong?

Oh my, the older man saw how his partner is trying now to be actually there for him. Just that one question made him all squishy inside.

-no... No! You're absolutely right. We should go... Yes park is nice... and not crowded at this time of a day... and...

- We could make our first official date of it – Philip interlude his speech.

Shotaro brain froze for few very long seconds after hearing that. Things were going fast.

- Hey are you all right? We don't have to you know? It was just an idea? - the younger man got up to reach him. It wasn't his intention to upset his partner yet again.

- It's all good I just didn't thought you would like to do anything like that on the spot. - Shotaro said slowly.

- You don't have to dance around me like that anymore. If you want it then say yes, if not I wont get mad... I really want to make you happy too. Trust me on that. - Philip nodded and smiled.

Shotaro's felt his body is melting from the warm feeling he just got. Now he was sure, that before Philip didn't understand properly, what it means to be together as a couple. It changed and it was wonderful.

- I do want to go, and we can call it a date yes... - he said at last - ...but lets not go too far with celebration ok? I... - he gave nervous laugh.

- Shotaro... I know you for some time and I am capable of not making you feel awkward when I want too.

- So sometimes you do that on purpose? I knew it!

Both laughed for a moment and it broke the small tension that surfaced.

That day was indeed calm and pleasant. They gone to the park and Philip made small lecture about trees that were there, being cautious to not to monologue longer than 5 minutes each time. Shotaro on the other hand tried to actually listen and was surprised that his partner is using more casual wording this time. They both tried to be better to each other but at the same time not to go overboard with it and because of that the first dateish walk was success.

After returning to the Agency, Philip wanted to order food for the dinner.

- What you don't like me cooking? - Shotaro joked.

- On the contrary, yet I want you to rest properly today. So sit down and chill out, you can read your favourite book for 27th time.

- You're actually counted this? - chuckling, the older man leaned over his chair.

- At least all the times I saw it. I can even tell what part you're reading by your expression alone – he pointed out.

- I'm that transparent, huh? - Shotaro closed his eyes, wondering, if this was good thing or the biggest flaw he had.

- In some aspects yes. In some you can hide quite well especially from me.

The older man opened his eyes and stared at his partner. His features showed deep thought process with hint of sadness.

- Look, I should be more sincere I'm sorr... - but didn't finish, because Philip made few steps toward him and suddenly their faces where just several centimetres from one another.

- I will be even more observant toward you now, so you wont feel the need to say sorry for my own mistakes. You can scold me from time to time if I make something off. But I'll point you out when you'll try apologize like now. Relax Shotaro. We are together. As partners. Equals. You are not anything less than me, all right? - and with those words, Philip hugged his partner.

It felt bit weird at the beginning. Still new sensation...So warm and... sincere? Shotaro didn't realized how much he needed to hear it. That he isn't less, that he is not just a care taker, a guardian, that in this developing relationship he is worth enough to be on the same position. It should be obvious from the start, yet some one or something always felt more important. Was it even possible to change such train of thought for him? The pleasant hug was showing a hint that it indeed was.

- You know what? Lest just sit on the bed? You can do your research I could read my book for...

- ...for 27th time...

- ...yes that. It will be comfortable and we wont get that food for few hours ahead anyway. - his voice was bit shaky but at least his glassy eyes didn't made any more fluids.

Philip didn't comment on that, which was huge development, normally he would tease about being half-boiled. Good thing he was that fast learner to know when not to do that.
Few minutes later Shotaro sat comfortably, supporting his back on the inner wall. Philip on the other hand decided to take small pillow and fit his head on his partner laps. They both read in silence, which was broke sometimes by younger man excited mumbling, reading something more interesting.

After eating the dinner they decided to do the relaxing time for a bit longer. This time however Philip read some of his discoveries aloud. In some weir twist of fate they ended in heated conversation about goat milk.

- You are quite knowledgeable about this, Shotaro – younger man looked at his partner with recognition.

- Of course, 5 years at agricultural school didn't go to waste after all – he answered with somewhat prideful voice.

- Oh? I didn't know that. I assumed you gratitude form high school.

- You didn't read my book? That's surprising.

- At first I didn't feel interested enough. Then I didn't feel it was appropriate. - Philip said and then asked – Can you tell me about your past now? I was wondering about few things, like why that idiot who kidnapped you said you don't have any living family members. - saying this he closed his blank book to look at Shotaro closely, hoping he didn't said anything too painful.

- There isn't much to talk about. He was right about me not having any... well biological family. At least the closest one. I may have few cousins living in the north, I'm not sure. - It wasn't the most comfortable subject, but also it didn't stressed him much and Shotaro actually wanted for Philip to know this, to not make problems later.

- So for how long you've been alone?

- I wouldn't call it being alone. My parents died when I was small kid and grandma was fragile and sickly so I've visited her till she was alive. But hey Institution wasn't bad. I meant many great people there, learned how to cook, and they let me go to that school. You know if I wouldn't be detective I would sure take care of plants. - his said in quite cheerful tone.

Philip on the other hand didn't knew what to say, which was rare on its own. Shotaro life wasn't easy or average, he had to work out trough many hardships and younger man never asked about it, while Shotaro knew as much about him as about himself.

- Why don't you try have some potted plants here? - he asked at last when saw his partner face with bit worried look after him being silent.

- Oh, I don't think it is good ideas. My favourites likes sun and wind of the outside world. Pity we cant have garden here. Our city has good clean air. But as I've said it is my second best choice job. Now I have 1st place one with my one and only partner. What more should I want?

Philip mirrored his smile at last, and begun another topic to discuss.

Few days later Shotaro insisted he can take care of some easy cat finding case. Akiko wasn't trilled for her half-best detective wont take proper rest for once, but then Philip whispered something to her ear and she agreed at last. It looked suspicious but Shotaro didn't wait for anyone to change mind ad say he was still to weak to go for a case so he took his hat and go looking for the escaping furrball.

After success with his mission he got back home and was surprised of seeing Philip sitting on the sofa with mug of steaming tea and thinking with his book closed!

- How are you doing partner? - he asked closing the distance.

- Ah Shotaro! I Didn't hear when you got her at all. I was just thinking about some things I've discussed with Akiko. - he smiled at his boyfriend.

- And what was the topic? -the older man seemed to be interested in it.

- Many important things. I can't tell you much, its too much talking without context.

The older man wasn't detective for nothing and saw how his partner is hiding something from him, yet it didn't sound bad to pull on that topic more.
Still he tried to observe what was going on under his nose. Yes. Philip was plotting something with Akiko, over next week they were talking with almost whispers and abruptly stopping when Shotaro was too close. Ryu knew something but of course didn't want to ask him any questions.

The mystery got solved in one late Saturday morning. Shotaro didn't even finished his morning coffee when Philip run from the entrance doors (why was he even outside?) and with excitement grabbed his partner hand.

- It is ready at last! Come on, Shotaro! Your coffee can wait! - younger man pulled him with such a force he barely could put mug on the table.

- Hey, easy now! - he laughed but let himself to be dragged outside. It happened so fast, he didn't even took his hat with him. - Were are we going?

- You'll see soon enough! - weirdly Philip didn't pull him toward the main doors, but on the other side of the small corridor where should be nothing except ladder for the rooftop.

The younger man got up fist and then urged Shotaro to do the same. He just laughed again, because this side of his partner was the cutest, of course saying that aloud wouldn't bee hard-boiled at all so he didn't spoke till he stood up on the roof. At first he didn't knew what was it all about but seconds later...

- What's all of this? - he was looking at big plants pots, flower boxes still empty but ready to use, some big bags of soil and all needed equipment. There was even small shred to hide those and a bench to rest after all the hard work.

- The hammock is mine actually – Philip pointed colourful fabric near the bench – Reading outside sounds interesting. However , rest of it is at your disposal. Do you like it?

Shotaro lost his words for a long moment. That,s why he heard some weird noises when came back form the case earlier, that's why Philip was more tired than normal and once smelled like fresh soil, which was so bizarre, the older man thought it was just hallucination.

- Hmm? Shotaro? Are you still with me? - he made few steps toward his partner, worried if this was good idea at all.

Shotaro spun around to pull him in to big and strong hug. This was too much to speak for now. This was really something he liked, he wanted to have but it wasn't the most important thing here. Philip actually put so much effort to to this, even if it wasn't any kind of necessity in general. Gift from the heart, because he said it would be nice to have it.

- Yeah , I love it all. And I love you – he lowered volume of his voice and then with a spring of emotions he kissed his boyfriend cheek and let him go to look around again.

Only after half of a minute he understood what just happened, what he did, and blushed like never in his life. It was just a small innocent kiss, yet for him, in this relationship it meant so much more.

Philip pleasantly surprised, touched chic cheek and smiled. It was great feeling to know that sometimes his partner can be leading with their intimate emotional life.

- I'm really glad, Shotaro – he made few steps toward the other man and took his hand into his own. - So... What you will be planting here?
The detective calmed down enough to answer:

- Me? You mean we. I wont spare you with it. It can be fun you'll see. - he was grinning like an idiot still feeling hotness on his face.

Next two hour they discuss what seeds to get, what veggies to plant maybe and even some flowers.
It was really pleasant and memorable day for both of them.

Some things will change naturally, but some have to be initiated by talking or interacting ,and even if it might be uncomfortable or even painful in the end is worth it.