Work Text:
Rog (Urdu word روگ) means:
n. The condition of being ill, evil, or bad; badness; unfavorableness.
n. Disease; indisposition; malady; disorder of health; sickness.
n. Wrong moral conduct; wickedness.
***
Jungkook has this flaw.
He is extremely weak to beauty.
He doesn't mean it in a sense that he is purely ridiculous and savage when it comes to making beauty his own, actually, he means exactly the opposite.
He means that beauty disarms him and leaves him heaving on the ground.
Forget how hard he struggled all his life, forget the hardness of his body, forget how strong and black the fire has made him.
Forget it all.
When Jungkook affronts something he considers beautiful, the war is lost and he has surrendered.
**
It seems to be one of those days where nothing seems to move Jungkook.
He pushes his head back and watches his friend's laughter and smoke reach the ceiling and realizes nothing touches him. Colors him, makes him feel alive.
His friends brought him here, to watch nymph-like women shake their bodies to the beat, to hoot, to smoke pipes and just let go. To watch purple fight blue and red give in. To watch everyone drink, as they slosh more than their drinks did in their cups. To live like it was the only night, to drink as if they were partying in hell and the morning would bring their doom. To enjoy as if the world, outside here, did not exist.(That was the magic of this place, it rarely did. Once inside, it was a little pocket in the middle of space and time and merchants could not decide if their homes, places to return to, ever existed out of this place. The place held them bound and they stayed, taking roots. The idea alluring to Jungkook's swaying mind.)
Jungkook heard all of that and watched all of that and did all of that. His heart is still as stone, the way it had been before he entered this place. The thump of the musical beats is getting to his head, the tips of his fingers are getting numb.
He wants out but is cowardly to do so. His life is lonely out of this place and miserable here.
It is a hard bargain.
Jungkook sighs unable to keep the monster gnawing at his insides, quiet. The monster pushing his limbs, stretched in his muscles, breaking his back if he didn't get up. He is compelled to do so, to move away.
He is a servant, not a king. His life out of here is a lie.
He stumbles, his foot caught in the softest of the Persian carpets. The intricate designs luring Jungkook in.
How ironic to trip over something already under your feet?
"Hey, Jungkook, careful," Jin wraps his strong fingers around Jungkook's bicep and brings him back to the life of stability. Because his mind has given up and he might just too.
"I am fine," Jungkook promises.
"No, you are not, kook," Jin mutters with a sadness in his voice that Jungkook believes shouldn't be present in the voice of the ever joyful man. It hurts Jungkook, the irony of it all.
Everything hurts Jungkook. "No, you are not."
Jungkook in lieu of saying anything, just rests his head on Seeokjin's broad shoulders and asks the universe, why does he want to cry so much?
His life is perfect and he is grateful, god knows he is grateful. But then why does he want to beg for death so much?
A sweet release, life is heavy on his shoulders and he just wants to rest.
Sometimes, he desires something more permanent than death itself.
"Look, I bought this for myself. An escape from those insolent assholes, that I call my friends on better days, which I don't have, but anyway, you can have it." Jin slaps Jungkook's neck and then works his muscles there. It feels like love, like an admonish, and blessing at the same time.
Jungkook wants to say no, but a web of emotions is stuck in his throat and he does not know what might come out.
He merely nods and his hands feebly grab whatever Jin thrusts into them.
"Have fun, Jungkook. God, for once in your miserable life, act like someone your age and have fun." Jungkook counts the colorful dots painting his eyelids and hears the pain in Jin's voice. "It breaks my heart to see young boys like yourself in agony."
Jin pushes him and walks back to their group of rowdy scoundrels, thieves, and shameless jerks and Jungkook is left on his own.
He looks around the violet darkness and prays.
He does not know what he prays, but he feels like he should at this point.
He lifts his cotton filled head to peer at the ticket in his hand that Jin has left him. It has a time, room number, a letter (V) and the amount that Jin paid for it written on the front.
At the back, it has dreamlike writing that promises heaven.
Jungkook smiles, its mocking or helpless, even he doesn't know.
Heaven is for everyone, but sinners and strangers like him.
But his feet move on their own, familiar enough to know his way around this place.
It was a smokehouse, a club, a portal to hell and everything where a wayward could find a home. Obviously, he could find his way around here.
He walks past the dance floor, the lusty beats and ever lucid bodies.
It would be vulgar for Jungkook under daylight, but here, it looks just right. He walks past the lined colorful drinks, with lights swirling inside the liquid, making it seem something of the gods, but thinks he has had enough to spare them more than a glance.
He is among the corridors now, with beautiful wooden niches and lamps within. He notices his feet, curiously, and thinks if they are morphing into a snake's tail, or this is how they have always been.
A hollow laugh circles the isolated hallway. He is really not as high as he is pretending to be.
It's just a ruse to hide how crazy he actually is.
The room number shines on the door, its gold, and the knob is fashionably designed. His hand wraps around it like fate and he marches in.
The first thing he senses is a haunting, eerie tune that resonates the four walls of the room. He pads inside and finds a maroon tufted velvet settee, with plush golden pillows nestled near its arms. The room is circular and has a similar setup, the same shades of seduction: the deep reds, the rich plum, and the heavy gold. There are lamps hanging from the wall. They light and darken the room at the same time. The orange flickering flame can be seen and Jungkook already feels hypnotized.
He stumbles towards the only seat in the room. The area in front of the setee is a little raised, wide, and is lined with a hot pink scented candle in a circle. The smell of roses is unmistakable and Jungkook is not sure what this place is until he hears something.
Something of a jingle that Jungkook can't recognize. He looks around for the source like a lost boy that the piper forgot behind. His ears move in sync with the sound and Jungkook finally seems to have found the cause of his distraction.
It is an anklet wrapped around delicate ankles. The bone jutting out and the curve of the Achilles tendon making Jungkook's heart beat faster.
His eyes move upward, the legs are covered with a black chiffon billowy trousers with long splits revealing golden skin. A beaded hip belt that highlights the waist and the belly button, with a diamond piercing. The torso is covered with a black and gold crop top and his neck embellished with a laurel-like necklace, made of gold-bronze.
His toned arms have golden and ruby suited cuffed armlets, twirling inwardly. His face is covered with a piece of see-through cloth that's tied behind his head, a niqab or a veil of a sort. And the eyes.
Jungkook wrangles a breath. The eyes are kohled and have the most alluring pull to them. The highlight of his cheekbones and his intense black eyelashes only make his eyes seem sharper.
The knives and swords in the whole world have nothing on his eyes. His dark hair is shoulder length and fans his collar bone, teasingly.
Every part killed Jungkook's soul and the whole picture finished what was left of him.
"Could you please take your seat?" A warm baritone voice says. Jungkook finally realizes that the jingle of the guy's anklet had stopped Jungkook in the middle of the room. Having lost his everything to the guy, Jungkook rushes for the seat.
The things beauty does to Jungkook, he swears. He does not recognize his own self and feels alienated from his body. The only thing that matters is the sight and aura of the guy in front of him. It is soft but hits something so deep in Jungkook that he can't keep his eyes away.
As he hurriedly sits down, Jungkook lifts his hand to his heart and fools himself into thinking that he is alive. The red glow in the room circles the guy, he sashays towards the middle of the platform, stepping gracefully over the candles, toes first and heels next. He moves around a bit and Jungkook's eyes follow him helplessly.
Every move is so arresting. The move of his spine as he bends to pick up the incense, carefully cradling it in his hands as he lights it, and then his lips forming the softest 'o' to blow on it behind the veil and that is the moment the guy decides to shoot Jungkook a look.
Jungkook is sure this boy is nothing short of an angel, or a devil, just someone unearthly; there is no way someone this beautiful and bewitching can exist among mortals.
The bracelets clatter in the guy's wrists as he changes the song on a remote which he, once he is done, rests on the table in front of Jungkook's sofa. The guy does it so slowly as if he has all the time in the world and when he is about to leave, he looks deep into Jungkook's eyes, and Jungkook might actually be losing his mind because he sees the guy wink at him and smile, the smallest of smiles behind his veil.
The guy turns away and walks towards the platform and stands with his back turned towards Jungkook and arms raised. His whole body poised like a sculpture of a goddess, ready to dance, who had given herself to nature and danced for things people could neither see nor hear.
And then the music picks up, the humdrum rustles inside Jungkook's own blood, his skin tingles as the electricity coursed over his whole body.
The growing excitement only increases a thousand fold as the guy takes the first step. His feet tapping and the anklets producing the mellowest and the most enchanting sounds. He would bend to caress his leg that peaked through the splits. His golden ringed fingers would grip his waist as the guy let go of his senses to the beat and would move his hips according to the beat. The flute, the accordion, and the drum and many instruments create a river that the guy seemingly flows through.
He goes down on his knees and bends his body backward just to move his body like a snake. He does all of this looking at Jungkook and Jungkook does not know whether to return the guy's gaze or keep looking at the havoc his body creates.
The guy frolicks all over the platform, having realized that, right now, Jungkook is focusing solely on his dance. He twirls and turns and moves his belly in ways that seem hurtful to Jungkook but easy for the boy. His hands create a dance of their own with the beat, curving on themselves, sometimes taking a flight and sometimes chasing faraway dreams. He seems to have finally let gone and given himself to the music, following no choreography, but the one his heart insisted on at the moment.
Jungkook's own leg starts jumping, and the dancer in him panics. He has never seen such a performance, and he does not even know what to call it.
The guy shimmies and repeats a few waves and by now his body has started glistening with sweat and finally, Jungkook has time to notice him. His breath labored, and Jungkook realizes that everything about the guy is phenomenal.
Even though he looks tired, the control that he has over his body only increased and his movements keep getting sharper than before. As if he is angry and the ferocity could only be portrayed through the dance. Good thing, that music is fast as well, otherwise, his ribs and waist would not be so aligned and seem unusual.
Jungkook does not realize that the performance has ended until the guy says, "Sir, your time is over," and breaks Jungkook's trance.
The guy collects his things and everything in Jungkook goes haywire.
Stop, he needs to stop the guy. He needs to know his name, his body, his voice, anything.
"Wait," Jungkook screams.
And the guy listens.
But he does not turn around and Jungkook does not know whether he should thank him, or not, for that. He flounders and searches for all the things he could say. The compliments, the confessions, the fact that he has stolen all of Jungkook's desires and is walking away as if nothing happened. Jungkook stands there, searching for words, his mind is a mess and he seems to be thinking in poetic gibberish that teenagers scribble in the dirt. In the end, he helplessly says, "Anything," his voice gives up on him as he chokes," tell me anything. Give me...anything."
His hands shake and his legs seem to be giving way as the guy takes his time. Jungkook is sure he is ready to get on his knees if he has to for the guy, he could... he could.
"Same place, same time. And ask for V." The guy says and walks out of the room.
And Jungkook's heart follows him obediently, leaving Jungkook hollow-chested.
Jungkook sits back and slumps down pathetically. His eyes hazy, as a figure dances across his eyelids and making his heart fill up to the brim. It is astonishing how Jungkook came here as empty as a seashell, barely feeling anything and as he leaves the room, he feels so much. He feels like an upturned cup, overflowing and being ripped apart at its seams.
***
Jungkook does exactly as the guy asked him to do.
He has been visiting the guy for ten weeks now and that's all he can seem to be capable of now.
Think about him and want to be near him.
Every time he steps into the room, the jingle of his anklet announces his presence and leaves Jungkook at his mercy.
He does not even remember who he was before this guy. He knows he had a kingdom at his feet, he knows that he could have anything in the world, he knows that his life had never been that depended on someone like this.
The guy has his face covered still and every meeting, when he leaves, Jungkook is on his feet, repeatedly asking for anything. Anything that could help him survive.
Jungkook realizes the guy is a belly dancer, the most famous one here. He knows that a lot of people might visit him, drawn to V's charm just like he is.
To the brown of his skin, to the sin that is his body. Jungkook is lost and there is no coast left for him to haul himself over and breathe.
He is down and drowned.
At the end, of one session, Jungkook says, "More, please." Jungkook doesn't think he has ever begged like he is right now. V still has his back towards Jungkook, the lighting in the room makes him look something of hell and heaven at the same time. A reward for sinners if God was feeling gracious enough. "I don't know what to do. I don't know, what I am thinking or saying or want from you. All I know is... that I have always been greedy, but never this helpless and your threshold seems to be the only place that has any answers for me."
Jungkook grips his hair in his hands and his face contorts. "I really, really don't know what I am asking, but," His body ridden with the effort wanting V has toiled it with. The strong man seems to have been broken to his very core and the dancer is the one to blame for it. "You feel like salvation and I want more."
Every time, at the end of every meeting, Jungkook rips his heart out for the guy. But V stands there always unmoving and silent. He likes to hide his voice from Jungkook and it drives him insane.
"You think you are the only one?" This time he thinks he can bless Jungkook, maybe some pray Jungkook had scattered for the god to pick and blow over, has worked its magic.
"What?" His mind has short-circuited and his body is desperate with joy.
"You think, you are the only one who wants more of me?" He enunciates every word as if talking to a fool and quite frankly Jungkook feels like one too.
And once he understands, his head bows obediently and he sits down, back on the settee that he is starting to hate. "No, no, I don't think that." He laughs a mirthless chuckle, "Trust me when I say this, but I know that I am not the only one. You are gorgeous, obviously anyone, anyone would want you. And... and anything I am willing to give, they all must promise you the same things all the time. I know I am just a lousy lover among your vast collection of them, but, but I want you to know, you were never my intention. Fuck, if anyone had told me that meeting you, like this, would wreck me this bad, I would have run the other way."
He is smiling, but only God knows at what. He lies down on the sofa and closes his eyes.
"Save me, please. This is the only place where I think that's possible."
Jungkook gives himself to the low hum of the music, the incense burning his lungs and the tears stinging his eyes as he hears V walking out of the room.
He was right. V was right, who is he to think that he is the only one.
Until the feet stop and a voice resonates and strikes Jungkook down, "Long sessions." V grits out, as if hating every word. "They are three hours long and as rare as they are private. I dance only for an hour during them."
"And the rest?" Jungkook asks without missing a beat, his heart thundering in his chest."What do you do for the rest of the time?"
"Whatever the fuck I want," V says.
"I will be there." The smile on his face is victorious and spreads by the second.
After a while, V slams the door shut and Jungkook doesn't stop laughing until his stomach hurts.
***
The long sessions are as pleasant as hell.
They have fruits and drinks on the table. They are apparently held in V's bedroom too. The decor there is rich and full of velvet. The hearth burns in the corner and V spends most of his time attached to the pipe of his sheesha.
He is a man of a few words and his gestures are heart-wrenching to someone as weak as Jungkook.
Jungkook remembers that he used to be able to wrestle people to the ground. Lift them, strike them down.
Now, it's a look from V and Jungkook is ready to grovel and worship.
The tandem between them has weirdly picked its pace up.
Before, it used to be V's eyes and whatever message he would bring with himself, to convey over the music. But now he would break Jungkook down with his expressions, going from vicious to forgiving to lustful to teasing in seconds.
It was obviously the dancer in him, the dancer that wants to draw and keep the attention of his audience.
But Jungkook is so stupid that it felt like a secret to him.
It felt like V did all those things only for him. "You think you are the only one?"
Jungkook is an idiot.
"So do you really have nothing better to do than be here?" V asks all haughty and guarded, from his seat on his canopied, gigantic bed. He seems to be always angry at Jungkook, which perturbs him and puzzles him at the same time.
Jungkook is sitting on the floor in front of him against the wall. With a glass in his hand, which has some nectar that V poured in but no alcohol. "Actually, yes and no. No, I do have a lot of work to do. And yes, losing myself over to you seems to win over all of them in a heartbeat."
V scoffs, and the smoke hides, obscures his half covered face and Jungkook cranes his neck to get a look. "What do you do then, Jungkook?"
Jungkook knew it was a mistake telling V his name. The biggest mistake yet. "Think about you."
V looks at him like he wants to roll his eyes. "What do you do other than that?"
"Dream about you."
"And?"
"Watch you dance. Talk to you."
V groans, "Tell me what you do that does not involve me. And answer properly or I might cancel these sessions."
Jungkook smiles softly as V glares at him.
His lover really is breath-taking. "I manage affairs I have been appointed for the day. I meet people I am supposed to, I talk business, I train and exercise. I eat. I look at my friends laugh and count hours, minutes, and seconds before I can be here. That's it."
"You don't sleep." V jibes at him. Finding it funny that Jungkook seemed to have missed an important detail out.
"You are right. I don't." This wipes the look of arrogance away from V's face and it instantly blanks.
"You don't sleep?"
"No," Jungkook smiles.
"Why?"
"Couldn't, before you, for different reasons." He says, hiding his demons from his lover. "And now, can't, for totally different reasons." His eyes twinkling as he looks at V, making his intentions clear.
Letting V know that he has been cruel enough to steal the poor boy's sleep.
V looks at him like he wants to murder him.
"You really don't sleep?"
"I told you, I can't. I doze off when my body can't hold it any longer, but other than that, no. The only time I feel like I can sleep is when I am with you. My mind shuts off, my body relaxes, and I feel safe. I told you I feel safe here."
His eyes revealing secrets to V he won't say aloud. "Your voice," his eyes shining as if he is about to reveal the biggest secret of his life."Your voice makes me feel like I can fall asleep."
The boys look at each other, and for the first time, V looks like he is sinking as well. Jungkook would feel happy if only the panic in him did not suffocate him.
V has so much power over him, that it still baffles him. He had not lied when he had said that he had no intention of making V his safe place.
"Then why don't you? " V asks without looking away. Why isn't he? Jungkook thinks. He should have no interest in Jungkook's eyes and the story they seem to love telling. "Sleep, here, I mean."
"As if I would lose a minute with you over something as stupid as sleep. Never." Junkook replies like it is obvious and V is being obtuse.
It seems to startle V, which surprises Jungkook. V scans Jungkook's body, his face, his hair, his clothes, searching for signs. Anything that would let him know how sleep-deprived the boy is until he sighs and says, "Get here."
"What?"
V taps beside him on the bed and huffs. Jungkook realized V really hated repeating himself.
"I-I won't sleep." Jungkook refuses, shaking his head like a child who is being punished.
"Don't sleep then. Just get here and put your head on my lap." Jungkook's eyes widen and he looks like he can't believe that miracles happen.
Knowing V, he should have expected that.
"Do it, before I regret my words and take them back."
"No, no, I am coming." Jungkook gets up. His legs shaking, having squatted for so long, as he stumbles to fall gently beside V.
He is scared to rest his head until V's long fingers guide his head and tangle in his hair.
Jungkook draws a shaky breath and turns his face away as he feels his eyes water.
"Don't." V looks at him, his eyes: strong, scary and full of emotions. He holds Jungkook's face and wipes the corner of his eyes.
"Thank you," Jungkook mutters smiling, looking up at the man above him.
"I said, don't."
And that's all Jungkook dares breathe that day.
***
"You must be rich, I mean you have to be to afford me. I am quite expensive, only a few people in this goddamn country can afford these many sessions." V muses during one of their sessions, popping grapes in his mouth leisurely.
"Hmm," Jungkook says from his position on V's lap. "Many would think that, but for me, I am the most deprived and impoverished bastard in the world."
"And why the hell would you think that?" V's skepticism, apparent in his tone.
Jungkook stares deep into V's eyes and says, "Because I don't have the one thing I desire the most. The one person I would gladly exchange the world for."
V looks at Jungkook like he wants to slap him and Jungkook is half prepared for it. But closes his eyes when it never comes.
**
Next day, V dances longer and talks less.
***
"What is your favourite food?" Jungkook asks one evening.
"Whatever I can find."
"What? You have no favourite food?" Jungkook thinks he has offended V in some way and that is why he won't even answer Jungkook properly anymore.
V looks tired, having to explain himself, but there is a challenge in his eyes, "I practice all day and work all night. The holidays I take for myself are spent shopping or being too tired to get up. I have a few friends and thousand lovers and no, no one has bothered with what I am eating and I did not have the luxury to be picky. So I can eat anything and everything that does not destroy my body."
Jungkook is silent and stunned. V wanted exactly that, wanted to scare him away. He patiently waits for Jungkook to take his leave instead he just shakes his head and says, "We can't have that. Ask the manager of this place to arrange dinner for you in this room every day when I come here-"
"I- " V starts, confused before Jungkook cuts him off and continues.
"-and if you won't, I will. And trust me when I say, if I get to know you are not eating well, I will burn this place down, and whoever is responsible, along with it."
His eyes promise death and V wants to tell him to get out. Instead, he nods his head and the next day, when Jungkook arrives, he finds V eating roasted chicken and some sauteed vegetables on the side his dish that he gladly picks up to munch on between his bites.
V says nothing to him and Jungkook knows he did well paying extra to V's manager.
***
"Do you cook?" V asks, having finished his dinner.
"I can, yes, but rarely get to, for the lack of time. Why?"
"Cook something for me," V says, wiping his mouth with a napkin, and with all the arrogance Jungkook has come to associate with him.
"Anything," Jungkook smiles and says.
**
"It's good," V says.
Jungkook can't help but be insanely pleased as he watches V eat. "It must be if you say so."
"Hmm." And V's already lost in the taste of what Jungkook cooked for him on top of his already hectic schedule.
***
"V, am I still not the only one?" Jungkook asks this time his back is turned away from V, as he lies on the bed with him.
He came in exhausted and looked like he had broken mountains and crawled hell just to get here.
V knows he should be gentle but he is anything but that.
"No."
Jungkook chokes a bit, his head resting on his hand and body curled just like a fetal. V has his legs splayed out, and back resting on the headboard, eyes lost and his pipe left forgotten.
"Okay," he really has nothing else to say.
***
Jungkook doesn't come for a few days and V thinks his immaturity is unamusing.
***
And when he visits next time, he smiles like it pains him to and V plays the song without even saying anything.
He dances and dances and knows that Jungkook is lost somewhere he can't reach.
It angers him and for the first time, he stops dancing, walks over to the speaker and shuts the music down.
To hell with it.
Jungkook snaps out of wherever he had been locked and looks at V, raw surprise painting his face.
V never, never, stops dancing in the middle of his routine.
V ignores him quite exceptionally and stomps out of the room.
As he is about to leave, he speaks. Unable to stay indifferent, unable to stop himself.
Damn you, Jungkook. "If you don't want to be here - if you are going to look like you would rather be anywhere but here, then just stop. Just stop coming here."
'You won't be missed.' V wants to say, but his voice is already shaking so much he doesn't think he can say anything else.
***
When Jungkook visits him next time, V will admit he had feared that he might not ever come back after his rebuttal, but he is back. He is back and is dressed nicely. His hair is styled gracefully, a navy blue blouse hanging on his body, making it look appetizing by showing some of his solid chest and in the process, making V's heart start and stop, and there is a big smile on his face. V is sitting on a sofa where he usually eats, but today he had already finished his dinner before Jungkook came.
Jungkook walks straight towards him and sits on his knees in front of him. His head bowed, he grabs V's hands and kisses them softly.
V's heart betrays him and he ends up saying, "Taehyung."
Jungkook looks up at him, shocked.
Taehyung hates how surprised he looks. Taehyung continues to stare at him and Jungkook chuckles lightly.
Taehyung thinks maybe he can understand what Jungkook meant when he said that Taehyung's voice was his safe place.
***
"Can I tell you a secret, Tae?"
Jungkook asks after watching him dance with a grace and sensuality that he has never seen the dancer portray before. This time, the eye contacts and hidden smiles felt like they really were intentional. (Maybe a little bit shyer now.)
Jungkook was not sure how to hide his shaky hands through his performance, so he didn't. And that seems to have pleased Taehyung as he preened like a peacock and continued teasing Jungkook.
"Are you going to tell me who you really are?" V proposed.
"You already know that. I am what I have always been." Jungkook looks at Taehyung with sincere and open eyes, as Taehyung cards his hands through his hair. Enjoying their softness.
"And what's that?" Taehyung has an idea, but he still wants to know.
"Yours," Jungkook says cheekily and Tae smiles even though Jungkook can barely see it.
"So, what was the secret you were going to tell me?" Taehyung diverts Jungkook as he bites his own lips, anything to save himself from Jungkook's eyes.
But Jungkook has no mercy on him because soon he lifts himself up. His hand on the bed beside Taehyung's lap, balancing him and the other lifting to touch Taehyung's face.
He is so close and Taehyung thinks he has never allowed anyone this close to him.
But surprisingly, he never thinks about pushing Jungkook away. There is nothing in him that seems to desire that and he swears he will chop his heart out one day for bringing so much trouble onto his table.
Jungkook's hand stays where it was, hovering above his veil, as his eyes scan Taehyung's face.
"God, you are beautiful," he breathes.
Taehyung gulps and says, "I don't think that counts as a secret." Taehyung swears he tries to keep the same semblance of disdain he usually has but his words catch in his throat and come out severed.
Jungkook smiles, "Yeah, it doesn't. But that's not the secret I wanted to tell you, it was just something I couldn't help but say."
Taehyung says nothing. He can't.
"The thing that I wanted to say was," his fingers grazing the cloth covering Taehyung's face. Taehyung wants to close his eyes in response but doesn't. "That I am so gone for you that I have never even unclothed you in my dreams. Never even dared to."
Jungkook talks to Taehyung like he is a dying man and these are the only words he can bring himself to speak. Only words, he wants to say, before he loses his life.
Taehyung says nothing, suddenly overwhelmed. His eyes water against his permission and black tears cascade behind the line of his veil.
"What? What?" Jungkook asks, his tone solicitous. "Tae, what happened? You are making me worried," He cups Tae's face and Taehyung can only bring himself to shake his head and close his eyes.
"Please, love, tell me," Jungkook begs, "Did I do something wrong? Did I say somethi-"
Taehyung puts a hand over Jungkook's mouth, "Shhh, shhh, you did nothing wrong."
"But-"
"No, just let me be. Just let me be and don't worry." Taehyung says. Calming Jungkook down, who looks like he is ready to start wars if Taehyung doesn't stop crying right now. "Say it again."
"What?" His eyebrows pinched in confusion.
"The secret. Tell me the secret again. Please." Taehyung opens his eyes to let more tears fall.
Jungkook looks at him helplessly. He proceeds to take Taehyung's face in his hands and rests his forehead against Taehyung's. Calling every bit of conviction from his heart into his voice to say the words.
"I, Jungkook," Promising, the secret is no more only that, it's a belief now, "has never unclothed Taehyung, never, not even in my dreams."
Taehyung laughs and cries at the same time. He kisses Jungkook's hands through his covered lips and says, "And you, Jungkook, might be the only one."
And Jungkook thinks maybe he can understand now why Taehyung would cry like that.
His body gives way and he falls back into Taehyung's lap. His eyes closed and his expressions wounded, "You have ruined me, Tae. Ruined."
He doesn't even wait for Taehyung's response and lets the boy be. Just like he had asked.
***
Taehyung laughs easily now and chatters more. It makes Jungkook want to run into the wilds and scream.
He dances less but with more joy than Jungkook has ever seen. Sometimes, he would cover to Jungkook, laugh and play around him. And the best part is that he sings. He sings.
He sings while dancing, he sings when Jungkook spends his time locking and interlocking their fingers. He hums as he Jungkook closes his eyes, and he caresses his hair.
Sometimes, he would smoke his sheesha pipe and tell Jungkook about all the weird customers he has had. About all the fruits he loves to eat. Sometimes he would get up to run around the room to show Jungkook his collection of jewelry. Boasting them off by wearing one after another. Jungkook would smile and compliment him after every new piece of jewelry that he tried. Taehyung would look happy and try the next ring, necklace, anklet, bracelet, whatever he could find.
Taehyung looked so happy that Jungkook couldn't help but ask him if he could buy something for him.
Taehyung turned around from his chair in front of the mirror to grin so wide that even Jungkook could see it despite the baby pink see-through veil. Soon he walks towards Jungkook and when he bends to kiss Jungkook on the forehead, Jungkook thinks he can see a slight blush painting Taehyung's cheekbones, "I would love that, my love."
***
It is a lazy afternoon, Jungkook asks Taehyung to skip the dance and just sit with him and talk.
Taehyung pouts but complies.
It fills Jungkook's chest up, knowing that Taehyung would do that for Jungkook. So Jungkook also gives in and grabs Taehyung's hands, making him stagger and slam against his chest.
Jungkook looks at Taehyung and swirls him in his arms and dares confess.
"I have been wanting to join your dances for so long."
Taehyung's eyes light up and simply asks, "Are you any good?"
Jungkook smirks and admits, "Many would consider me better than good."
Taehyung looks like he might ask more, but instead twists out of his embrace. He changes the music and looks at Jungkook invitingly.
Jungkook has never danced with anyone else, but with Taehyung, it isn't dancing.
It's a chase.
It's struggling to keep Taehyung as he keeps running away. And looking at Jungkook enticingly.
He doesn't dance with Taehyung, with Taehyung, it's a pure game of seduction.
So he does his best to reciprocate. He struggles and struggles. Taehyung moves his hips, unlike his usual routine, and Jungkook copies till he can until he gets frustrated and makes sure to take the lead and shuffle Taehyung's steps with his own.
Taehyung is left breathless and happy as he tries gaining dominance mercilessly but Jungkook never relents. Once he has Taehyung in his trap, he makes sure that he can never leave.
After that, the dance is a beautiful surrender where Taehyung is continuously admitting his defeat in front of Jungkook. The dance is a game, with Taehyung a toy in Jungkook's hands, his threads being pulled according to Jungkook's intention.
And when Taehyung's feet look like they are tiring out, and his breath starts coming out short, Jungkook slows down to let his lover rest.
And for the first time, he thinks that maybe Taehyung looks at Jungkook like he has been looking at Taehyung from the start.
***
"Love?"
"Hmm," Jungkook replies, wiping his hand after having cut mangoes for Taehyung.
"Are you sleeping well now? When you go back?"
Jungkook looks at him and smiles. "Yes, better than before. No need to worry."
He leans back on the sofa and grabs Taehyung's legs to drape them over his lap.
It's always late at night when he meets Taehyung and it's early in the morning until he returns home. But yes, he sleeps well enough that his servants have to wake him up now when the sun rises.
"After meeting you, I am so content that sleep comes easy," Jungkook looks at Taehyung and beams, "I did say you have ruined me," he pauses for a bit to say,
"Damn, Taehyung, you are terrible for me. "
Jungkook adds all mockingly, trying to Tae smile, but Taehyung is serious when he says, "Good."
Jungkook raises an eyebrow quizzically. But Taehyung only gives him a calculated look and shrugs.
***
Next time Jungkook arrives, there is no one in the room.
"Tae!" Jungkook yells, after searching for him all over the room. "Where are you?" Jungkook is about to run away and rake the place down, but he hears the same jingle that he has come to associate with Taehyung and instantly settles down.
Smiling, he turns around to say, "Where were y-"
But the life stops and the moon crashes into the sun. The stars rain down and Jungkook thinks the room has started spinning on whatever axis it seemed to believe in.
Because there is no other way Jungkook can describe why there is a beautiful man standing in front of him.
He is wearing simple white trousers and has the softest sparkling white shirt with a revealing V-neck covering his body. His hair is a mess and he looks so simple without any of his usual beads on his hips. It looks like the boy tried to tone his beauty, down and he might have succeeded if not for his face.
His bare face.
Taehyung is barefaced in front of Jungkook and he swears that the crashes are as real as he believes them to be because the world is ending and how can there be no noise.
The world is falling apart and it can't happen this peacefully.
The world can't remain that unaffected, that untroubled, now that his lover is unveiled.
Jungkook looks at Taehyung, smiling shyly at him, and falls on his knees.
He doesn't waste a minute until he has his head touching the ground with tears streaming down his face and his body convulsing dangerously.
Taehyung can't bear the sight, so he rushes forward, to cradle his lover in his arms. He talks Jungkook down enough for him to listen to him.
Jungkook looks at him, with the same honesty and sincerity that he had the first day he met Taehyung years ago, and Taehyung knows that he means what he is going to say next.
"Jungkook?"
He nods his head, his hands covering Taehyung's own around his face.
"Listen," he urges Jungkook because yes, he really hates repeating himself. "Listen to me, because it might be the only time I will say it." Jungkook nods his head again, already familiar with Taehyung. Taehyung bores his dark brown eyes into Jungkook's watery ones and says, "I don't want to dance for anyone anymore. Anyone who isn't you."
He lets go of everything and holds onto Jungkook because he keeps crashing down again and again in his arms and telling him that he heard Taehyung. That he heard him.
***
The last time Jungkook meets Taehyung in that wretched yet wonderful place is to take him away.
He holds his hands and asks his servants to hold Taehyung's many bags full of jewelry and his clothes. Taehyung has his veil thrown over and Jungkook looks as humble and proud as any man would in his position.
Jungkook takes Taehyung towards his home and is scared to look at him.
This is when everything gets difficult and easy for them. This is when Jungkook will start to unveil his own demons in front of Taehyung.
He doesn't look at Taehyung when people line for them on both sides and bow when he passes with Taehyung by his side. He doesn't look at Taehyung when Jin passes him his crown and pats his hair a bit, trying to make him look a little more handsome for his lover.
Jungkook is nervous and doesn't look at Taehyung who must be taking-in his castle and it's all of its petty grandeur.
Well, Jungkook is a weak man for beauty, meaning he can't really ignoring Taehyung for that long. So when he does turn around to look at Taehyung, Taehyung is looking back at him like he always has.
His eyes smiling, he slowly leans forward and so does Jungkook, happy that Taehyung accepted him and is not about to run away.
Taehyung brings his face down to kiss his cheek and whispers, "So am I now supposed to call you 'My King' or plain old Jungkook would work?"
Jungkook pulls back to see Taehyung smiling cheekily. And lets his own relaxed smile and twinkling eyes show, "Now that you mention it, I do think 'My king' has a nice ring to it."
Taehyung rolls his eyes and pushes him away lightly, "In your dreams."
Jungkook smirks, wiggling his eyebrows to say, "Ah yes, now, that might happen."
Taehyung looks at him flustered and asks Jin to show him his room because apparently all men do is lie and shouldn't be trusted.
And if anyone is surprised by how loud Jungkook laughs, they don't dare curse it. Reveling that their king is now jovial like he should be, happy that he will sleep peacefully now, happy that he has found himself such a wonderful cause to wake up every morning.
***