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Garrus left the main battery with a data pad in his hand, his steps brisk and confident. He couldn't help overhearing the conversation taking place in the mess hall.
"...it's just too small here. Not enough ways to burn energy between missions," Grunt was grumbling.
"Perhaps sparring with one of the other crewmates? Common practice on many military ships," Mordin suggested, munching contentedly on his meal.
"Are you volunteering?" Grunt sneered.
"No." Mordin offered no excuses and didn't seem the least bit sorry to turn the krogan down.
"I'll run some rounds with you," Garrus interjected, pausing near the table. Grunt looked him up and down skeptically, but didn't question him.
"Okay," he shrugged. "Better than nothing."
"Thanks," Garrus replied, chuckling and rolling his eyes. "I'm about to take this report on the new Thanix cannon up to the Commander, but I can meet you in the hangar bay after," he offered.
"Sounds good," the krogan nodded. "Don't keep me waiting."
"Of course not," Garrus answered smoothly, then excused himself and made his way to the elevator.
As one of the few people who had been on the Normandy before Shepard was spaced, Garrus had a unique perspective. He knew what kind of camaraderie the Commander liked on her ship, and could see how many of the Cerberus new-hire's left something to be desired in that department... Shepard was doing quite a bit to gain their loyalty and create closeness, but Garrus had recently realized how much he could help by spending some time with them himself.
Garrus liked Grunt and could use some physical activity after the hours of calibrations on the upgrades. He'd sparred with a krogan a couple times before and knew some tricks that maybe Grunt would appreciate. If nothing else, it'd kill time, and maybe even be entertaining.
But, first things first: the Thanix upgrade was crucial to the Normandy's ultimate mission success, and Commander Shepard had asked for a full rundown as soon as it was installed and optimized. He'd put good time and effort into it, and even exceeded Legion's calculations.
Perhaps I should put "out-calibrated the geth" on my dossier to remind people I'm not just a good shot, he thought to himself with a chuckle.
Garrus looked at the data pad proudly as the elevator began taking him up to Shepard's cabin. He'd only been up twice before, for other similar reports. She had been inviting him more and more frequently, joking that she expected him to get comfortable up there eventually.
His heart beat faster just thinking about spending an intimate evening with the Commander as they had planned, mostly from nervousness. Garrus was totally committed to it, but had no idea what to expect, as was typical when it came to doing anything with Shepard. He'd been using the excuse that he had time to prepare to keep from thinking about it too much.
The elevator door opened and he brought his thoughts back to his success with the Thanix cannon, giving his data pad one more look as he stepped forward. The door to the captain's cabin slid open and he could hear some kind of news report coming from inside. Shepard was sitting at her terminal.
"Commander, I think you'll be pleased with--"
He stopped short when she turned and stood, his mandibles flaring. Her bright blue eyes were red and wet, and her eyebrows deeply furrowed.
"Hey," she said, sniffling and wiping at her face with the sleeve of her N7 hoodie. Her blonde hair was up in it's usual bun, but she tucked a stray piece behind her ear as Garrus floundered there. Knowing she couldn't brush it off, she gave a small, nervous laugh.
"There's probably no part of your military training that explains what to do when you catch your commander crying, is there?" she joked.
"Uh, not exactly..." he mumbled. He rubbed the back of his neck but found himself unable to look away, as if he couldn't quite comprehend the sight before him. Shepard cleared her throat, wiped at her face again, then squared her shoulders.
"Got something for me?" she asked. Her official tone and expression worked, knocking him out of his stupor.
"Er, yes, sorry... I've gotten the Thanix cannon fully up to speed and optimized. I think you'll be pleased with the performance outputs," he said, offering her the data pad.
"Oh, great!" she replied, genuinely glad at the news despite her sniffling. She took the data pad then turned off her terminal. "Do you mind waiting a moment while I look it over, in case I have any questions?" she asked, but didn't wait for an answer before going down the few stairs into her living area and gluing her eyes to the report.
"Of course, Commander," Garrus answered, standing at the top of the stairs as he watched her begin pacing and studying the data pad.
He couldn't stop staring; he knew he should, but he couldn't. She wiped at her eyes one more time but was captivated enough by the data to not notice his inappropriateness.
Spirits, I don't think I've ever seen her come close to crying before, not even after Virmire... Maybe she did, just when no one was looking? I don't know.
Garrus honestly hadn't thought about it then, and now that he was, he realized he'd been somewhat self-absorbed since rejoining Shepard and the Normandy. His mind had first been filled with thoughts of Sidonis and his squad, then calibrating the new Normandy's guns, then the boldness of Shepard's proposition for "blowing off steam", and then anything to keep him from thinking about that.
As he watched her now and thought of her tear-filled eyes, he thought perhaps he'd been neglecting to recognize some very important parts of her.
So what am I going to do about it?
"Joker and EDI are up to speed on this, right?" she asked, suddenly knocking him out of his reflections.
"Uh, well, I imagine EDI's been observing my progress, but I thought I'd have you look it over before I got Joker caught up," he explained.
"Fair enough," she replied with a nod, returning her eyes to the data pad. She was suddenly thirsty and struggling to concentrate. "Will you toss me the water I left on the desk?"
"Sure." Garrus located the bottle and did as requested. Shepard caught it and quickly opened it, taking a couple good gulps. A few more moments of her pacing passed before she turned to face him, lowering the data pad from her eyeline.
"This is exceptional work, Vakarian," she said with a wide grin. "You keep impressing me with your aim, I forget all the other ways you're impressive."
"Thank you, Commander." Garrus wondered if she was flirting, but he decided to simply appreciate it as a solid compliment. He stepped down and over to her and retrieved the data pad, but paused as she began to throw back the rest of the water.
Here goes nothing.
"Shepard, uh... my training may not have involved handling a situation with a superior crying, but it did involve how to handle crying in general," he commented and cleared his throat.
Shepard looked at him out of the corner of narrowed eyes, but Garrus held her gaze. She was guarded but also curious, and soon a small smile curled her lips.
"...alright, I'll bite," she finally conceded. "What kind of training have you had on handling crying?"
"C-Sec, naturally," he began with a nod. She continued to stare at him curiously, so he continued, "It's not just being cunning enough to find the bad guys, and tough enough to bust them..." Shepard snickered and rolled her eyes at his playful boasting. "...that's what most people think of in relation to law enforcement, of course. But there's another side to the coin. Sometimes my job was to inform someone that their mate had been killed in an accident, or to tell a father their young daughter had been mugged and was in critical condition... or to help a lost child find their mother." Garrus's expression fell as he thought of some of those times, too many without a happy ending. He looked up and thought he caught Shepard's eyes beginning to water again as she turned and wandered towards the couch with her back to him.
"You're right, I hadn't imagined you handling those situations before," she admitted quietly, setting the water container on a small table at the end of the couch. Other than seeking vengeance on Sidonis, she couldn't think of any times she would've described Garrus as "rough". Even when they exchanged banter he was always polite and smooth; but she'd never considered his capacity for empathy, especially not an ability to extend it to strangers.
"They definitely required a degree of sensitivity," Garrus said during her silence. "...and, I have a sister, that cries sometimes," he finished lamely, rubbing the back of his neck, worrying that he'd overstepped. To his surprise, Shepard chuckled again and turned back towards him.
"Well aren't you just the full package," she teased, wrapping her arms around herself. She smiled a little, but her lips quivered and the tears in her eyes were more obvious now.
"I don't know about that, but all I'm trying to say is that I'm better with emotions than you might think," Garrus said gently. "I haven't the slightest idea what could make you cry, but if you wanted to share, I'm willing to listen. If not, I'll take my data pad give you some more of the privacy that I interrupted."
Shepard sniffed and looked down, squeezing her arms with her hands. She couldn't remember the last time someone had seen her cry, and was just as unsure of how to handle it as Garrus was. She didn't cry very often, but knew it was good to let it happen sometimes; her mother had taught her that when her father had died while she was a teenager.
Enough time passed that Garrus fidgeted, and she looked up, not wanting him to have to dismiss himself. Their eyes met and though they were both unsure, an understanding seemed to pass between them, that his willingness to support and her willingness to let him in was enough to bridge the gap. Shepard let out a breath in a rush, ready to dive in.
"I don't watch news reports often," she began. "I mean, we're usually living the best stories out there anyway, there isn't much point."
"Makes sense," Garrus agreed with a nod. He set the data pad down on the coffee table but wasn't quite sure yet why.
"Every now and then I find a report on the colonies that have been invaded by the Collectors... see the casualty counts." Shepard walked past him now and began pacing again, unable to keep herself still. "I use it just to keep myself focused, keep me determined, keep me... angry." Her hands dropped to her sides and clenched into fists.
"Like those promos of the opposing team in sports, or the villain in vids," he replied, nodding again.
"Yes! Exactly like that," Shepard said, stopping her pacing to point at him enthusiastically. "I mean, it really works!"
"Of course it does. I'm pretty sure the turian military pays people to make them," Garrus commented with a shrug. Shepard couldn't help laughing at that, and Garrus smiled as he watched some of the tension in her shoulders melt away.
"So, usually, after watching some of that I'm ready to go tear some bad guys apart..." she drifted off, her shoulders slumping.
"...but this time...?" Garrus prompted gently. Shepard exhaled heavily again before replying.
"This time, they were showing an interview with a father and his five-year-old daughter, humans. They'd been away visiting his parents for the weekend... The Collectors took the mother and one-year-old brother while they were gone. They had nothing to come back to." Shepard began pacing again, but slower this time, her arms once again wrapping around herself. Garrus's mandibles twitched and he frowned, watching her.
"The father, I can't describe it... I'd never seen someone's eyes just look so... lost. You could tell he'd been crying, they didn't even give him a chance to prepare. The poor little girl kept interrupting and asking 'when are we going to find mommy and Niklas? I miss Niklas. When can we go home?'" Her voice was wavering and by the time she finished, more than one sob had escaped her.
She stopped with her back to Garrus and realized how uncomfortable he must be feeling. Invincible Commander Shepard, made a blubbering mess by a news report when she's seen, in person, so many horrors? She half-laughed and half-scoffed as she turned to face him, waving her hands dismissively.
"Don't worry, I know how to get it together--"
"Shepard, I assure you I am in no way doubting your capabilities having learned that you experience emotions and shed tears," Garrus interrupted. "I know you get it done."
"Thank you," Shepard exhaled.
"It is certainly tragic, what's happening out there in the Terminus systems to those humans," he continued. "Admittedly, I haven't been around long, or really spent much time studying history... but it seems to me that most individuals are a lot more resilient than many would give them credit for. That interview caught them at a terrible moment, but there's still a future ahead."
"...you're right," Shepard replied, steadying her breathing. The logical aspect of his answer lifted a weight off her shoulders. "Thanks for not making something up like 'I'm sure they'll be okay'."
"I try not to make such definitive statements about what I don't know," Garrus assured her. He stepped closer to her and placed one hand on her shoulder. "Keep that in mind as I tell you this: you are doing absolutely everything you can, and that will be enough to stop the Collectors."
The intensity in Garrus's eyes made Shepard's heart race, but somehow it was the open space in front of his chest, accentuated by his outstretched arm, that drew her gaze and pulled at her like a magnet. Perhaps she had imagined it, but she thought she felt his hand encourage her, and soon her body was drifting towards his. It was like slow motion as Shepard's arms settled around his waist, which was even smaller than she expected, and her head rested against him. The corner of her lips curled up as she felt him tense, flustered.
Just when she thought maybe she should let go and spare him the awkwardness, his arms clamped down around her and he held tight. Out of pure instinct, Garrus tilted his head slightly, causing his mandibles and breath to tickle her neck. Both of them felt her cheeks grow hot.
Three things happened almost simultaneously: Shepard opened her mouth to speak, a low rumble began in Garrus's chest... and an omnitool pinged, followed by Grunt's voice.
"Garrus? I'm waiting on you and your skinny turian--"
Garrus flailed and slapped the omnitool on his wrist to silence it as Shepard sniggered ungracefully. They disconnected and Garrus loudly cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck.
"He's expecting me in the cargo bay to spar," he stammered awkwardly.
"You better get there, then," Shepard laughed, wiping at her nose one more time before wrapping her arms around herself again. "That sounds like a good show. Should I come and watch?" she teased, tilting her head to one side.
"Spirits, like I could stop you?" Garrus exclaimed, and Shepard laughed again.
"Maybe next time... I think right now I'll reset myself with either a shower or a nap," she said.
"That sounds like a good plan," he agreed, but didn't step away yet. "Are you... feeling better?" he asked, his mandibles twitching slightly.
"Yes, much better," she replied with a big, cleansing breath. "Thank you, Garrus. For... everything." Garrus gave a satisfied nod and retrieved his data pad from the table.
"You're welcome, Shepard," he said. "Enjoy your reset."
Shepard kept smiling as she watched him go. After the door closed behind him, she walked over to her bed and collapsed onto it, stretching her limbs out far and then curling them up close.
"...EDI, can you send surveillance of the hangar bay to my omnitool display, please?"
"Of course Commander."
In the elevator, Garrus felt like he was buzzing with energy. He could still smell Shepard's hair and it sent his heart racing. He also felt rather smug about being able to help her feel so much better, and even a little irritated that they'd been interrupted. By the time he reached the hangar, he was more than ready for some physical activity.
"About time," Grunt taunted. Garrus didn't even give him a look before tossing the data pad to the floor and quickly stripping down to a black bodysuit made for exercise. He approached Grunt and they both readied their stance, their eyes meeting and studying the other intently, but then Grunt lost his serious expression.
"...why do you smell so strongly of hormones and the Commander?"
Garrus lunged forward and swung for the krogan's jaw.