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"Jeremy Heere!" A figure appears almost shouting his name and Jeremy picks himself up off the ground, staring at him in awe. "Welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor." The man finally looks at him, pushing his sunglasses down his nose for emphasis. "Your S.Q.U.I.P."
"Wow." As Jeremy looks at him, he also notices something else. "You- you look like Keanu Reeves." The man smirks and pushes his sunglasses back up.
"My default mode. You could also take instructions from Sean Connery, Princess Leia, or a sexy anime cat girl with a tail." A furious blush makes its way onto Jeremy's face at the last suggestion.
"No-" he starts to say, but Jeremy is interrupted by the S.Q.U.I.P saying something else.
"Or...if you'd rather listen to someone you love and trust..." That little tidbit caught Jeremy's attention. Did he really know-
"Yes. I'm inside your head, Jeremy. That means I know these things. For now, let's get you out of the way, " fake-Keanu says and then Jeremy can see and feel himself walking away from the small crowd that had formed during his major freak-out (a clusterfuck that he'd have to deal with later. Maybe he could pass it off as performance art? Whatever. He'd find an excuse somehow.). Suddenly he wondered if everyone could see fake-Keanu or if it was only him making a fool of himself in the middle of the mall.
"That was you, " the S.Q.U.I.P remarks. "Only you can see me. Now, as I said, I can also take the form of someone you love and trust." Jeremy nods and the S.Q.U.I.P stops pacing for a moment, glancing at the boy. "You could take instructions from your father, " the S.Q.U.I.P changes to look exactly like his dad, right down to the lack of pants; Which was almost disturbing. Even if he loved him, he really didn't want to look at his pantless dad all the time, so he could rule that option out.
"Your mother, " the S.Q.U.I.P changes again, looking like a woman that Jeremy hadn't seen in years. He didn't particularly like how much he looked like her (spoiler alert: he could have been a carbon copy, a 'mini-me' of sorts. The thought made him nauseous. Then again, anything about him that related to her, did.). It was almost like she was taunting him with what could have been. What would have been if she hadn't left. Huh. Funny how it turned out. Ruling her out was easy.
"Or your best friend, Michael." The form S.Q.U.I.P took now was very familiar and Jeremy had the urge to ask why he was back so soon. It was scary how accurate it was. Though he gradually noticed how different their auras were and the longer he stared at the S.Q.U.I.P, the more flaws he began to pick out and the more relieved Jeremy felt. He really didn't want to confuse the two, so that option was out, too.
"Keanu's fine. What's, uh, what's next?" The S.Q.U.I.P smirks and changes back to fake-Keanu before speaking again.
"First things first..."
"What was that?" The S.Q.U.I.P sounded extremely annoyed and Jeremy couldn't help but step back a bit. "I mean, I give you one simple instruction and you can't even do that?" It turns to look at him with a dangerously familiar emotion and Jeremy finds himself feeling six again, his mother berating him.
She had asked him to grab something, but he had forgotten about it until she had grabbed his arm and repeated the request, eyes cold and merciless. He had scrambled over to the cabinet and ended up getting the wrong thing.
The memory was a little blurred around the edges, but he could clearly remember her blue eyes boring into his, waiting for an answer to a question he didn't catch. He had been too afraid of her anger to ask about her question so he just stood there, terrified of her next move, until she stormed off, throwing a remark to his dad that he also didn't catch.
"What do-" The S.Q.U.I.P cuts itself off, glancing at Jeremy with his eerily similar eyes and a flash of emotion appears on his face and he feels even smaller.
Obedient.
"Well, " the S.Q.U.I.P says, taking a new voice, a familiar voice, and form. "Look what we have, Hannah."
The name has him caught off guard. It had been a while since he'd heard the name in her voice, after all.
And it almost seems like his willpower is stripped away just like his happiness had been all those years back. And thinking of that, he has an urge to laugh. He always thought he'd only go back kicking and screaming, but here he was, willingly listening to a clearly abusive mother that he still loved and trusted even though he felt like he shouldn't.
"Oh, give it up, will you?" His mother says, berating him again. "You know none of that will get you anywhere."
Even now, he can't stand up to her.
"Say it." His mother says, and he finds himself listening.
"Everything about me is just terrible." He finds himself believing those words again as he says them.
"Good." And for some reason, he gets satisfaction from that, from her. He knows he's falling again, but he has no urge to pull himself out of the hole he's digging.
He brings his knees to his chest as he sits on his newly made bed. No more nerdy shit. Then he puts his head between his knees, already feeling tears forming in his eyes.
She couldn't get him. She wasn't here. She couldn't get him. She wasn't here. She couldn't get him. She wasn't here.
"Everything about me-" a sob rises in his throat and he doesn't have the energy to keep it back."-makes me want to die."
There's something genuine about the way her hand moves through his hair and for a second, he lets himself believe that she actually cared enough about him to stay.
"Good, Jeremiah." And now he remembers that it's the S.Q.U.I.P ,but he still can't fight him, still can't help but lean into the synthetic touch.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," plays like a broken record in his head with an underlying message of, "I can't, I can't, I can't."
"Now Jeremy..."
"Jeremy?" He hated that voice. He hated who that voice belonged to. He hated it.
"No! You- I- He fucking hates me!" What are you going to do about it? You've been avoiding me! Or you'll what? ...really pissed off monologue... "I-I just- I wanted-" ...you really think... Fuck you, Jeremiah! "I can't-"
"Don't worry about it." Jeremy looks over, seeing his best friend sitting next to him. He only barely suppresses an urge to flinch at his sudden appearance. He also barely manages not to tackle and hug Michael. Then he realizes he doesn't even have the energy to try. Crying could do that to you.
"What?" Jeremy's voice is soft, as if he couldn't believe that he was here. He really didn't want Michael seeing him like this, but he missed him so much. He was afraid that if he blinked, Michael would be replaced by a hologram with cold eyes.
"It'll be okay." Michael was smiling and Jeremy could almost believe him. Except...there was something that felt off about this. Something was wrong.
"Michael?" He hums, glancing at Jeremy with one of his small, secretive smiles that made him feel like the only other person in Michael's world. Except there was something off about that, too.
Then Jeremy stretches out a hand, trying to put it on his arm, but it goes through and the truth comes out.
It wasn't real.
It wasn't real.
It's like a record scratch in his head as he puts the pieces together. Michael was never here. It was the S.Q.U.I.P the entire time. Another sob rises in his throat and he doesn't even try stopping it.
It hurt. It hurt that he couldn't see his best friend, much less hang out with him. Were they even friends at this point? Or had he fucked up their relationship that much?
"Jeremy." He snaps his head around to look at the S.Q.U.I.P the best he could through his tears.
"No! You can't fix this!" More tears spilled out of his eyes. "You can't fix any of this!"
"You have to-" he cuts the S.Q.U.I.P off, not really caring about the consequences in the moment.
"Trust you?" Jeremy laughs bitterly. "Lot of good that did me."
Then he's on the ground, twitching. The S.Q.U.I.P is standing above him with an almost furious look on his face. shitshitshitshitsh- Another arc of electricity hits him and he can feel it from the small of his back all the way to his neck and splitting to race across his arms to his wrists. The S.Q.U.I.P's eyes are glowing an even harsher blue than normal.
"You will."
A sudden spark of fear flares up as the S.Q.U.I.P takes slow, calculated steps away from him with his arms clasped against his back. Then he turns and looks at Jeremy, slowly raising both of their arms.
"Or we can do this the hard way."