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Ishimaru had difficulty remembering a time in his life in which he wasn’t bullied. He remembered it starting when he was fairly young, in first or second grade. He couldn’t remember the reason why. After all, everything seemed to be reason enough. His eyebrows were too big, he spoke too loudly, he tattled too much… but most of all, it was his name that did it.
His parents had told him that, if he could avoid it, he was not to bring up that he was an Ishimaru. He didn’t understand why. It was just a name, right? Everyone had a last name. But for some reason, being an Ishimaru just wasn’t a good thing. Being an Ishimaru meant that kids would beat you up for something your grandfather did that you didn’t really understand. Being an Ishimaru meant that when you told the teacher you were being bullied, she smiled and said she’d stop it immediately, but no action was ever taken. Being an Ishimaru meant that you were supposed to be ashamed for simply existing.
Ishimaru was upset by it at first. After all, what did he do to deserve something like this? He couldn’t grasp it. He was a good boy, and he knew that. He never broke a rule, he tried to be polite to everyone and he tried to do everything right to the best of his ability. So why? Why were people being so rude to him?
When his grandfather died, his parents figured they should tell him. How his grandfather had been prime minister and messed it all up, how they were in debt because of his mistakes and how he had brought great shame and disdain upon the name “Ishimaru”.
And Ishimaru understood completely. Of course kids would bully him. His family, mainly his grandfather, had probably caused them or their families all sorts of trouble. It was fair that they didn’t like him. It was fair that they would want to hurt him.
So he decided to put up with it for now. In fact, it helped motivate him. Every bruise and scar gave him the strength to work harder. After all, the sooner he helped bring his family back to good light, the sooner he’d stop getting hurt.
"There. I’m done." Mondo said, slamming his textbook shut. "I finished every goddamn question. Can we do somethin’ fun now?"
"Let me check, just to make sure." Ishimaru said, grabbing Mondo’s homework. He scanned the sloppy writing in silence, and finally smiled. "You did well, Mondo! They’re all correct!"
"That’s ‘cause ya push me so hard." Mondo said, rolling his eyes.
"No it’s not! It’s because you’re learning. I’m proud of you!" He reached up and ruffled Mondo’s hair affectionately, beaming.
"Whatever." Mondo said, looking away from him. Even after dating for awhile, his boyfriend was embarrassingly cute.
"And as I promised…" Ishimaru said, putting the homework on the desk. "You’ve finished your work so we can do… something fun." He blushed and placed his hand upon Mondo’s. "Can I kiss you?"
"Ya don’t have to ask."
Ishimaru climbed onto Mondo’s lap and smiled. Mondo always let Ishimaru make the first moves. He was always so worried about fucking up and hurting him. But Ishimaru didn’t mind, really. It was actually kind of cute to see Mondo being so embarrassed.
Their kisses would always start chaste. Ishimaru would put his hand on Mondo’s cheek gently then pull him in for a quick kiss. Then Mondo would kiss back. And they’d continue like that until their kisses were deep and a little sloppy and the two of them had to break for air, their faces red and flushed.
"Hey… Kiyo…" Mondo said, panting, "Can we move to the bed or somethin’?"
"Ah… yes, that would be for the best…" Ishimaru replied. "Let’s-" Before Ishimaru could say anything, Mondo lifted him up in his arms.
"I got it, okay?" Mondo said.
"I can take care of myself." Ishimaru argued.
"Well I can study for myself but that doesn’t stop ya from pesterin’ me." Mondo replied.
"You just keep telling yourself that." Ishimaru said with a smirk. Mondo carried him to the bed and laid him down on it. Mondo straddled his waist and picked up where they had left off. He kissed Ishimaru deeply, getting satisfaction from his little gasps. He enjoyed making Ishimaru flustered, but it was even more satisfying to wipe the smug grin off of his face.
He pulled back and looked down at Ishimaru’s flustered, wide-eyed expression and hesitated.
"Uh… is this okay? Am I goin’ too fast? I can-" Ishimaru wrapped his arms around Mondo’s neck and kissed him again.
"You’re good, Mondo." Ishimaru said, smiling. "Don’t worry so much, alright?" They returned to kissing again, but soon enough Mondo got bored of just kissing Ishimaru’s lips. He began to move down, placing kisses on his sensitive neck, enjoying the cute noises Ishimaru made when he did so. He finally pulled away, admiring the sight of a panting, disheveled Ishimaru laying below him.
"H-hey, can I… uh…" Mondo gripped the button on Ishimaru’s collar and hesitated. "I mean, if it’s alright with you, can we… uh, go a little bit farther, maybe?" This was usually where they stopped, but Mondo wanted more of him; he wanted more of him to kiss and touch and enjoy.
"What… do you mean…?" Ishimaru asked in response.
"I mean can I, uh, take your shirt off or somethin’? I wanna see ya. If that’s okay!" Ishimaru laid back and let out a deep breath.
"It’s alright with me." He finally said. Mondo gulped and, with shaky hands, began to unbutton Ishimaru’s shirt. Much to his irritation, he found that Ishimaru wore yet another buttoned up shirt underneath.
"Why do ya wear so many layers?" Mondo asked, moving to unbutton the next shirt.
"It’s proper uniform attire. Something you would know nothing about."
"Shut up." He kissed Ishimaru to quiet him until he finished unbuttoning his shirt. When he finally finished, he backed off so he could get a good look at his boyfriend.
Normally, he would have admired Ishimaru’s toned, lean muscles or how smooth his skin was, but there was something else that caught his attention first. Mondo stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed Ishimaru’s pale chest was covered in large welts and bruises.
"What… what the fuck?" Mondo asked. He climbed off of Ishimaru, not wanting to cause him anymore discomfort if he could.
"What’s wrong?" Ishimaru asked, confused.
"Whaddaya mean what’s wrong? Don’t ya feel it?" Mondo pointed to his chest. "You’re covered in bruises! What the hell happened?"
"Oh… I’m sorry, Mondo, I must have forgotten about them in the rush of things." Ishimaru said, sitting up. "I thought they would’ve healed by now… I’m sorry about that. I’ll get dressed and-"
"Why are ya actin’ so calm about this?? If someone’s hurtin’ ya, I need to know! I’ll kick their ass and make sure they regret even looking at ya! Now who was it? Tell me, please!"
"It’s not that big of a deal, Mondo. I’m alright! Really!" Mondo took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself, realizing that yelling at him probably wasn’t going to be the best option.
"Please, just tell me." Mondo said, putting his hand on Ishimaru’s. "I hate seein’ ya hurt."
"I…" Ishimaru hesitated. He had kept this a secret from him for over a year now, finding any excuse he could to avoid Mondo when he had been hurt. He had came up with every excuse to explain his visible wounds in the past, to the point where he was running out of believable ones. He wanted to tell him. He honestly, really wanted to tell him. But how would Mondo react? Would he think him shameful for being part of such a detestable family? Would he think him weak for letting this happen to him? Ishimaru had always faced his problems alone, but he felt like he could trust Mondo at this point. He was the only person he could probably trust this much, actually. "I did this to myself."
"What’s that supposed to mean? You’d never-"
"Let me finish." Ishimaru interrupted. "Mondo, I’ve told you about my family, correct? About my grandfather?"
"A little bit. What about it?"
"Well, when I was young my parents they… they told me not to tell anyone about who I was. I was supposed to try to avoid bringing up my last name if at all possible. But everyone found out eventually. And it was reason enough to… you know…"
"Wait, this shit’s been happenin’ since grade school?"
"It was much worse back then, I promise." Ishimaru replied, a small smile crossing his lips. "It was an unspoken rule that no one was supposed to associate with me. After all, who would want to be friends with some… disgrace like me? And me being on the disciplinary committee and yelling at them for breaking the rules just gave them more incentive to bully me."
"Didn’t ya fight back?"
"Fighting is strictly against the rules. I refuse to be violent on school property."
"Fine, but didn’t ya get them in trouble for bullying people?"
"For other people, yes. Hurting others is against the rules. But I couldn’t really care what they did to me."
"What? Why not?"
"Because, Mondo," Ishimaru replied happily, "every bruise I get is motivation."
"What the fuck are you talkin’ about?"
"I’ve learned from the start that being an Ishimaru isn’t good. I get made fun of for being an Ishimaru and I get injured for being an Ishimaru. But that’s good! It pushes me to work even harder to better myself… to better my whole family! The sooner I get my family name back in a good light, the sooner I’ll stop being hurt. So it’s okay… it’s really okay! Don’t worry about me."
Mondo honestly didn’t know what to say. Ishimaru had been hurt and bullied so much that he had somehow forced himself to see it as a good thing. And it was stupid. But telling him how stupid his chain of thought was probably wouldn’t help at all. In fact, telling himself that it all was a good thing was probably the only thing keeping him from breaking.
"Look, Kiyo, I know you’re tryin’ to be noble and all but… ya can’t just let yourself get hurt like this."
"It’s not like I ask for it," Ishimaru replied. "I mean, I don’t go around picking fights. It’s just something that happens. It’s inevitable and if… if getting hurt like this means they won’t hurt others, then I’ll gladly accept it! Everybody wins!"
"Yeah, but what if somethin’ bad happens? What if they hurt ya real bad or break your arm or… shit, if you won’t let me beat them up, we can at least report it and-"
"No!" Ishimaru shouted. "This is my problem, Mondo, and I am going to face it alone, just like I always have."
"Haven’t ya… told your parents about this at least?"
"No. Well, once I did. A long time ago." Ishimaru replied. "I had gotten hurt at school… I think I was pushed down the stairs? I don’t remember. But when I told them, they said they were busy with work and it’d be helping them out if I could just take care of it myself. And they were right! I shouldn’t bother people with my problems when I am fully capable of taking care of myself!" He smiled and grabbed Mondo’s arm, then placed his hand against his chest. "So I’m sorry for troubling you with my pathetic problems. Let’s just get back to what we were doing, alright?"
"No." Mondo said, pulling his hand away. "Kiyo, stop acting like you’re all alone in this when you’re not! Your parents were wrong, okay? Ya don’t just look a hurt kid in the eyes and tell them to deal with it! What the fuck is wrong with em?"
"Don’t talk like that about my parents." Ishimaru said. "You don’t know what they’re like."
"I know enough to know that they were wrong! Asking for help when ya need it isn’t selfish!"
"It is for me! I can’t force people to help with my problems, especially when I’m at fault for them. So please, just let it be! I need to do this alone!! I just need to put up with this. We’re so close to graduating it’s just a little bit longer. A little bit longer then I’ll be okay!! I promise!!" Tears were beginning to roll down his cheeks. And Mondo knew that he couldn’t just leave this kid all by himself. Without any warning, he embraced Ishimaru tightly, running a hand down the trembling boy’s back to comfort him.
"No one should have to face this kinda bullshit alone." Mondo said. "I know ya wanna be tough, but you’re pushin’ yourself too much. You’ve been through enough as it is. Ya don’t need to be hurt anymore."
"B-but… I need this. I need to be treated like this… I need to make sure to work hard!"
"I know ya don’t need to get the shit beat outta ya to do that. You’d work hard no matter what, I know that! Why else would ya work so hard to help people like me when ya don’t have to? None of this is your fault and ya don’t deserve it, either."
"M-mondo…" Ishimaru mumbled. "Why are you so nice to me?"
"Because I love ya." Mondo stated. "And you deserve much better than this. I promise."
"I… I’m sorry." Ishimaru replied. "I don’t know if I can change that easily, I mean this is how I’ve lived for so long so I… I’m sorry." He pulled away from Mondo and smiled. "But I’ll try!!"
"That’s all I needed to hear." Mondo kissed his forehead. The two sat in silence for a moment while Ishimaru wiped his tears away and Mondo tried come to terms with the fact that he had just hugged his half naked boyfriend.
"Thank you, Mondo, for listening to me." Ishimaru said. "I… I know my problems are kind of stupid but it just… it means a lot, okay?"
"It’s not stupid, baby. Don’t put yourself down so much." He said, rubbing Ishimaru’s back gently. "Still, this looks like it hurt. How are you feelin’?"
"I’m a little sore, but it’s not unusual." Ishimaru replied. "I honestly can’t think of a time when I wasn’t."
"Can ya lay down for me? Like, on your stomach?"
"May I ask why?"
"Well, I was thinkin’ that I could, I dunno, give you a massage or somethin’? I mean if that’s alright with you! I just wanna make ya feel good and-" Ishimaru gave him a quick peck on the lips, effectively silencing him.
"Didn’t I tell you not to worry so much?" He asked. He laid down on his stomach, resting his head on a pillow. Mondo was dismayed to find even more bruises coated his back. He started with Ishimaru’s shoulders, squeezing the skin gently to make sure he didn’t hurt him anymore. Based on how tense his skin was, Mondo assumed Ishimaru hadn’t been relaxed in a very, very long time.
"Does this feel okay?" Mondo asked.
"Yes." Ishimaru replied. Mondo continued rubbing his shoulders and noticed that Ishimaru actually had his eyes closed. That meant he liked it, right? He continued moving his hands down Ishimaru’s back, pressing his palms in and kneading Ishimaru’s tense skin. He made sure to be as gentle as he could with the bruises, and barely touched them if he could avoid it.
"I’m sorry." Ishimaru finally said in a soft voice.
"Huh? For what?" Mondo replied.
"My body must look incredibly ugly right now." Ishimaru said. "I’m sorry I couldn’t look pleasant for you."
"This doesn’t bother me." Mondo said. "Well, no, you gettin’ hurt bothers me. But bruises and shit don’t bother me. I get them all the time in fights, remember?"
"I guess so. But still… I know it wasn’t what you were expecting."
"It wasn’t. But I’m glad I found out. I’m gonna do somethin’ to help, I promise! And also…" Mondo was thankful Ishimaru couldn’t see his beet-red face. "These marks just show how strong ya are."
"I…" Mondo noticed Ishimaru’s face turning pink, too. "Thank you, Mondo. I love you."
"I love ya too, baby."
By the time Mondo had finished, Ishimaru had drifted off. Mondo couldn’t complain, really. In fact, he was happy about it. Ishimaru never took naps, ever. So if he had gotten him so relaxed that he was able to sleep… then he figured he did a good job. He curled up next to Ishimaru, figuring that he wouldn’t mind if he took a nap along with him. He pulled him close to him and kissed his forehead.
"I’m gonna protect ya from now on. I promise." He whispered. With that he shut his eyes and slept the afternoon away with Ishimaru, dreaming happily about breaking the noses of everyone that had hurt him.