Archive of Our Own

( 5:19 am ) Changbinnie-hyung <3: 

my plane leaves at 7 am i'll be at the airport at 8 pm

see you later babe

The airport of Seoul was bursting with life when Felix parked his car. Just over the arrival board, the red digital lights read eight o’clock. Felix looked around, analysing every passenger who had occupied a seat on the flight from California to Korea. Trying to find a dark-haired boy in such a crowd of people looked like an impossible mission. Buzzing with excitement at the idea of finally seeing the boy he had missed for so long, he checked his phone, wondering if he had missed any text from the older. He found none.

One after the other, people started to leave and Felix wondered if he had been waiting in the wrong place all along.

“Well, I was hoping for a more cheerful greeting,” a cocky and familiar voice said behind his back. Felix turned around so quickly that he felt his back crack. “You know, some balloons, a sign...nothing too big,” the boy teased, finally coming eye to eye with Felix, who held his breath.

Without thinking about it twice, Felix threw himself in Changbin’s arms, not caring if people were staring and the boy was probably dead tired after the long flight. Tired or not, Changbin held him tightly by the waist, his luggage lying somewhere near them, neither of them caring too much about it. Felix wrapped his arms around Changbin’s neck, hiding his head against his boyfriend's neck, not believing he was finally in his arms again.

“I missed you so much,” Changbin whispered, holding Felix even more tightly. As petty as it sounded, Felix found relief in the fact that his boyfriend had missed him just as much as he had.

“I missed you too, you can’t even imagine,” Felix confessed, moving away from Changbin just to look him in the eyes, their arms still around each other. 

"Your hair is blond,” Changbin pointed out, gently running his fingers through Felix's bleached hair. Felix melted at the touch, too affection starved to even think of resisting.

“Hyunjin helped me dye it last week. Do you like it?” Felix confirmed, eager to know his boyfriend’s opinion on it. If Changbin’s soft blush was any hint, Felix dared to say he surely liked it.

“Of course I like it,” Changbin nodded confidently before his voice dropped to a shy mumble, “you look even hotter than usual.” 

Felix smiled at the comment, using all his will-power not to kiss Changbin then and there. He was sure such a display of affection between two guys wouldn’t be that much appreciated by the people who were already looking at them with questions in their eyes. “Now come on,” Felix said, pulling Changbin by his arm, leading him towards the exit door, “Minho-hyung is waiting for you. He was at practice, that's why he didn’t come with me.”

The car drive was mostly quiet, neither of them believing they were finally together again. Felix’s hand was resting on Changbin’s thigh, a silent reminder for both of them that he was there in flesh and blood.

“California is beautiful but I missed this city so much. I missed speaking Korean, too,” Changbin confessed, looking out of the window, his voice sounding dreamy even to his own ears. The flat he used to share with Minho came into view and it felt surreal to be back home after almost eight months of being away.

“Don't you speak Korean with Chan-hyung?” Felix asked perplexed. When Changbin had broken the news of having won a scholarship that allowed him to attend college in California, Felix felt his heart sink in his chest. It hurt even more when Chan announced he was following the younger there.

“Yes, but only with him. The other guys and all the professors don't understand it so we have to speak English pretty much all the time,” Changbin explained, now finally understanding how hard it must have been for Felix to learn Korean in so little time to be able to attend classes and make friends.

Felix knew it was wrong but he couldn’t avoid feeling a pang of jealousy hearing Changbin mention ‘ the other guys’. Of course, he knew that Changbin had friends in college besides Chan and he was honestly happy, knowing how hard it was to be alone in a foreign country. 

Even though he trusted Changbin with his whole heart, having his boyfriend so far away made him feel extremely insecure and there were days where he felt like the distance between them was just too much to handle. Luckily, when it happened, Changbin would reassure him, knowing exactly what to say to make him feel better.

Felix cursed his mind for falling in that thread of thoughts once again, even now that Changbin was sitting next to him and holding his head. He parked the car in front of Minho and Changbin’s flat, quickly helping his boyfriend with his luggage. 

“I texted Minho-hyung we’re here, he should open—” Felix started, as they made their way towards the front door. He didn’t even manage to finish his sentence before the door slammed open and Minho grabbed Changbin in a headlock, ruffling his hair.

Felix burst out laughing at Changbin’s loud whines and Minho’s hearty laughter before taking pity on his boyfriend and pulling Minho away.

“It’s good to see you again, Binnie,” Minho said sincerely, chuckling while Changbin tried to pat down his hair after his friend had messed them up.

Minho took Changbin’s luggage, helping them bring it inside. Felix’s heart felt oddly warm at the familiar sight of Changbin in his old flat, being teased by Minho as if no time had passed at all.

“You’re coming in?” Changbin asked Felix when Minho was nowhere to be seen.

“It’s okay, hyung. You need to sleep and I have the feeling Minho-hyung is going to keep you busy anyway,” Felix reassured, wanting to spend time with his boyfriend but knowing all too well how exhausted he must have been.

Changbin pouted but nodded. “Come over for breakfast tomorrow morning?” he asked, puppy eyes pleading Felix to agree. Felix chuckled, not believing how adorable his boyfriend could be.

“You really missed me, didn’t you?” Felix teased before putting his hand on both sides of Changbin’s neck. “It’s okay, I missed you too,” he confessed, before leaning down and joining their lips together.

It was the first time they kissed after being apart for over eight months and Felix could clearly feel all the emotions rush into the kiss. He wondered how he had lived without the feeling of Changbin’s plump lips against his own, his hands hugging tightly his waist as if he was scared to let go. At that moment, all the worries about the distance keeping them apart disappeared, just to leave space for the feelings that had never faded away.

When they broke apart, Felix couldn’t resist leaning in once more just to give a soft peck on the corner of Changbin’s mouth. The older had his eyes still closed, his lips still pouting but this time for the absence of his boyfriend’s touch on them. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” Felix finally agreed, leaning his forehead on Changbin’s and nuzzling their noses together, making the older smile.

Then Felix pulled away, moving towards his car to drive back to his apartment, a slight jump in his steps.

“Lix?” Changbin called, not moving from where Felix had just kissed him. Felix turned around, his cheeks blushing at the look of pure adoration on his boyfriend’s face. “I love you,” the older said, smiling from ear to ear. The sound of his voice not being distorted from a crappy microphone made the words hit even more strongly.

“I love you too, hyung,” Felix answered, his own smile stretched across his face. 

And, even though he was the one who had suggested meeting the next day to let Changbin rest, Felix still couldn’t wait for the night to pass, eager to spend time with the boy he loved before he had to leave him once again.

…

The next morning, Felix picked up his car keys and his wallet, sending a quick text to Changbin to let him know he was on his way. No answer came and when he got there the door was still locked. Opting for a different approach, he texted Minho, hoping the older was still at home.

( 10:03 am ) Minho-hyung: 

texted hyung but he didn’t answer

i’m outside, open the door???

Not even a minute later, a very tired looking Minho opened the door for him, grumbling a low greeting when Felix entered the flat. 

“Changbin is still sleeping, that’s why he didn’t answer,” Minho explained, rubbing his sleepy eyes. “Well, you know where his room is,” he said before going to the kitchen, probably to start making breakfast for the three of them.

Felix didn’t waste a second before walking to Changbin’s room, eager to provide cuddles for his sleepy boyfriend. As soon as he opened the door, quietly not to disturb Changbin’s sleep, he smiled at the scene. Changbin was cuddled up into his blanket, his face serene as it was only when he was really relaxed and his mouth agape, breathing deeply.

Felix moved to the bed, sitting down next to Changbin’s hips, only to lie down a moment later, not able to resist the idea of snuggling under the covers with the older. With his head softly hitting the pillows and his legs intertwined with Changbin’s, he threw an arm over the sleeping boy’s waist melting when Changbin snuggled closer into his chest.

It was almost hard to believe being there, exactly where, almost a year before, they used to spend most of their mornings, Felix staying over at his boyfriend’s more often than not. He left a kiss on Changbin’s forehead and then another on both of his cheeks and one on his nose until Changbin started to grumble, woken up by the actions.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Felix greeted, knowing Changbin would give him hell for the pet name if he was conscious. When Changbin came to terms with the fact of being awake, he finally started to notice where he was and who he was with.

In a matter of a few seconds, a tiny smile made its way on his lips and he hid his head between Felix’s neck and the pillows, too cosy to open his eyes and fully wake up yet. Felix simply chuckled but he understood his boyfriend’s intention so he just cuddled closer, his fingers carding through Changbin’s hair, leaving soft kisses on the crown of his head from time to time.

“God, I missed your morning cuddles,” Changbin murmured when he was apparently awake enough to speak. “And your kisses,” he continued, raising his head so he was eye level with Felix.

Felix got the hint, joining their lips together, savouring finally being able to wake up in the way they loved the most. When they pulled apart, Felix stared right at Changbin, a fond smile painted on his lips.

“Hey there,” he said, caressing Changbin’s cheek with his fingers, almost as if he was making sure the boy in front of him was actually real.

“Good morning, baby,” Changbin answered, leaning his forehead against Felix’s, closing his eyes.

Having the chance to study in California was everything he had ever hoped for, but spending so much time away from the boy he loved was something he had never thought would be this hard. Having Felix in his arms again after so long felt like a dream he really didn’t want to wake up from.

“Minho-hyung is making breakfast, we should probably get up,” Felix whispered, still not making a move to actually do that.

“Can we stay here just a bit more?” Changbin asked, his voice tiny as if he was expecting Felix to deny his request.

Felix smiled, tightening his arms around his boyfriend's body. “Of course, hyung,” he agreed easily, closing his eyes as his head dropped on the pillows.

“I love you so, so much,” Changbin whispered, only for Felix to hear.

“I love you too, sunshine,” Felix answered, just as quietly. His gentle touch through Changbin’s hair made the boy’s eyelids flutter closed.

When Minho gently knocked on their door to let them know that breakfast was ready, he smiled softly at the scene. Felix with his arms tightly wrapped around Changbin’s waist and the older boy snuggled up into his boyfriend’s chest, their foreheads still touching. Minho shook his head and left them to sleep in a bit longer, but not before taking pictures of the adorable view and sending them to both Felix and Changbin.

...

Felix had his laptop open in front of him and his fingers were quickly typing down the essay he was supposed to write during spring break. His phone rang from where it was plugged beside the bed, signalling for an incoming call. Felix blinked his eyes and rolled back his shoulders to get rid of some of the tension of being seated in the exact same place for the past two hours before he got up and checked who was calling.

“Hey, hyung,” he greeted, unable to hide the smile on his face at the mere fact of hearing Changbin’s voice.

“Hey, baby,” Changbin’s voice rang over the people talking in the background. “Are you busy?” he asked, the noises dimming down.

“Not really, I’m just—” Felix started.

“Good, then,” Changbin cut him off. “Start getting ready, I’ll pick you up at six,” he said, a smile clear in his voice even if Felix couldn’t see him.

Felix blinked confused. “Where are we going? Didn’t you have to go out with Minho-hyung today?” he asked, knowing that Changbin had told him he was busy that day.

Even though both of them would have loved to spend every second together until Changbin had to leave again, Felix himself was the one who had rejected joining Minho and Changbin that afternoon. Just as he missed the older when he was away, so did his best friend and Felix didn’t find it fair to take Changbin away the whole time.

“We went out for lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon together. Besides, he went to Jisung’s just now,” Changbin explained, purposely not answering Felix's first question. “Wear something cute, it’s a date,” Changbin confirmed.

Felix pouted, “What do you mean wear something cute? I’m always cute.”

“That is where you’re right, sweetheart,” Changbin teased and Felix could feel the wink even through the phone. “See you at six, I love you,” the older said before hanging up, leaving Felix to shake his head.

With his essay still open on his laptop and the clock reading five in the afternoon, Felix sighed walking to his bathroom to take a quick shower. Even though he still had much work to do, he couldn’t hide the giddy feeling in his stomach at the idea of Changbin taking him out on a date.

Not even two minutes past six, Changbin sent him a text to let him know he was outside. Surprisingly recognising Minho’s car, Felix opened the door and sat in the passenger seat.

“How did you even convince hyung to lend you his car?” Felix asked, amazed. If there was one thing Minho was extremely attached to, that was his car and there was no way he would let anyone drive it if it wasn’t an emergency.

“He said something about how nice it is to see us together again. He didn’t even oppose,” Changbin explained, still not driving away from where the car was still parked. 

“That’s surprising. But oddly sweet,” Felix commented before leaning in over the gear, claiming his first kiss of the day. “Where are you taking me?” he asked when they broke apart and Changbin finally started the car.

“That’s a surprise I’m not gonna spoil,” Changbin winked before putting his hand on Felix's thigh just as Felix himself had done on the way from the airport.

The ride was mostly quiet, the radio filling the comforting silence between the two and Felix playing with Changbin’s fingers on his leg. When the older parked the car, Felix finally realised where they were.

“Our spot,” he whispered, looking at Changbin’s questioningly.

“I’ve been wanting to come here since I’ve arrived but it doesn’t feel right being here without you,” Changbin explained softly, his voice gentle and sweet.

Their spot was a small part of the park coasting Han River. A blanket of grass, hidden from most passersby by trees that still allowed them to clearly see the river and the sunlight to shine on them from above.

Felix closed his eyes for a second, trying to get his emotions under control. “I love you,” he simply said before opening the door and getting out of the car. He waited for Changbin to join him before linking their fingers together and dragging him to the green park in front of them.

Changbin’s laugh echoed in the air as he tried to keep up with his boyfriend dragging him forward. Felix's elbows leaned on the railing separating them from the river and Changbin was quick to wrap his arms around his waist from behind, resting his chin on his boyfriend's shoulder.

“This place will never fail to amaze me,” he whispered, leaving a gentle kiss on the skin of Felix’s neck, the breeze caressing their bodies as they watched the sunlight reflecting on the surface of the water. “We used to come here all the time before I had to leave,” Changbin recalled, thinking back at those times.

“We did,” Felix agreed easily, too lost in the moment to think about something more to say. “You would come to pick me up and bring me here, just to spend time together. Just like today,” Felix continued where Changbin left off, tightening his arms around the ones wrapped around his waist.

Changbin leaned his forehead on Felix’s back, breathing in the comforting scent of his boyfriend.

“Come,” Felix gently said as he unwrapped Changbin’s arms from his body before taking his hand and leading them to their spot. Once reached it, Felix flopped down on the soft grass, dragging Changbin with him by their joined hands.

Felix laid down, Changbin’s head on his stomach as both of them watched the sun slowly setting, leaving space to the stars shining on them. Felix kept combining his fingers through Changbin’s hair, enjoying how the older was melting against his body.

“Have you ever come here in these past few months?” Changbin asked at some point, his voice nothing more than a curious whisper.

Felix hummed, making the older turn his head to watch him, waiting for more. “Some days I just miss you and hyung so much it affects my whole mood. Coming here makes me forget about it for a little while,” Felix explained. Changbin raised his head, searching for Felix’s eyes but they were still cast on the sky.

Felix avoided mentioning how on other days it hurt so much being there that he couldn’t even bring himself to get closer, knowing the person he shared the amazement for that place with couldn’t be with him and wouldn’t be for a very long time.

“Hyunjinnie knows that too. A few months ago he noticed how down I was and he organised a picnic with all the guys here,” Felix added. When Changbin kept silent but his eyes were still staring at Felix, the younger moved his gaze too, meeting the older boy’s.

“Do you ever regret it?” Changbin asked and Felix noticed a subtle glint of uncertainty in his eyes. “Having feelings for me. Us dating even now that I‘m on the other side of the world,” he continued, his voice coloured with that same tint of fear his eyes showed.

Felix sucked in a sharp breath, reading the pure doubt on his boyfriend’s face. Felix set up, forcing Changbin to do the same before taking his face in both his hands.

“I would never, ever , regret dating you, hyung. I’ve been head over heels for you for so long, I would have never let go of you just because you had to move away,” Felix said determinately, his eyes staring right through Changbin’s, hoping the confidence in them could reassure the boy more than his words already did. “I loved you then, I love you now and I’ll love you when you leave for college again,” Felix finished. He couldn’t hold in the relieved sigh when Changbin nodded softly, his words having swept away his doubts for now.

Unbeknownst to Felix, Changbin was often overwhelmed by the feeling of being the cause why Felix was forced to miss out on so many things, just because he couldn’t be there with and for him. Because of him, Felix had to rely on phone calls and video calls just to talk with the boy he loved. He knew that Felix could have so much more if only he let go of Changbin but the older couldn’t bring himself to break up with him. He knew it was a selfish move but the idea of erasing Felix’s presence from his life seemed too hurtful for both of them.

“Do you promise you will tell me if things get too much for you?” Changbin asked conflicted, pleading Felix to give him something to hold on to.

“I promise you,” Felix swore, sealing the deal with a peck on the older boy’s lips. “Let’s enjoy these last few days we have together, yeah?” he suggested, well aware that thinking about the time they had to spend apart was only going to ruin the time they actually had together.

Changbin nodded. “I love you,” he whispered against Felix’s lips before resting his head on  Felix’s lap once again, looking at the sky with a soft smile painted on his lips. 

Felix started to card his fingers through Changbin’s hair once again but this time he didn’t lie down to stare at the sky. This time he stayed sitting there, looking at the boy in his lap, already dreading the moment they would have to part ways again.

…

Unfortunately, the end of that beautiful week together was coming to an end and Changbin would have to leave the following morning. Felix had insisted on going to the airport the next day to say goodbye to him properly and had to refuse to spend the night at Changbin’s flat just because he knew how hard it would be for the both of them to part ways if he did.

Even though Felix’s plan was, in fact, that of letting Changbin sleep early and pack all his baggage without anyone bothering him, Changbin was still awake at three in the morning, finding it difficult to fall asleep knowing it was his last day in Korea, at home.

Not even realising that someone else could be awake at such an hour of the night, Changbin almost jumped when he heard his phone ringing on his bedside table. He widened his eyes even more when he saw who was calling.

"Felix, are you crazy? It's like three in the morning. Why are you still awake?" he shot question after question, his voice not sounding as sleepy as it should have been in the middle of the night.

"I could ask you the same thing," Felix answered back, chuckling lightly at the worried tone in Changbin’s voice. "I know you weren’t sleeping either," he pointed out, knowing his boyfriend.

"Shut up," Changbin muttered grumpily, trying to hide the smile at his boyfriend’s soft laugh. "You still haven’t answered my question," he noticed, his voice betraying how worried he was. 

"I can't sleep," Felix shyly confessed, afraid of bothering the boy on the other end of the phone. It had been his idea to let Changbin have his space but he knew he wouldn’t calm down until he heard his boyfriend’s voice.

"And you thought it was a good idea to call your boyfriend, who has to get up early tomorrow morning to leave for college? Really smart," Changbin teased, hoping to make the younger laugh since the sarcastic tone in his voice was obvious. His concern only grew when Felix stayed quiet on the other side of the phone.

"Sorry, I should have thought about it," Felix murmured apologetically. Changbin didn’t point out the sad shade his low voice was carrying.

Changbin set up in his bed, more awake than ever. "Do you want to come over?" he asked softly, way too worried about his boyfriend to go back to what he was doing before he was sure the other was feeling better.

"Thank you, hyung. I'll be there in five," Felix agreed, relief washing over Changbin now that he knew he could make sure that his boyfriend was okay.

Changbin didn’t point out how it usually took more than fifteen minutes to go from Felix's house to Changbin’s. Literally five minutes later, Changbin heard the door of his and Minho’s little apartment being opened and someone approaching his bedroom.

With tentative steps, Changbin heard Felix walk to his bedroom and as soon as he got into the room, he sat on the bed next to his boyfriend. Changbin noted how Felix didn’t greet him and how glazed his eyes looked.

Changbin looked at him for a second more before realising what kind of clothes Felix was wearing. “Were you at the dance studio until now?” he asked, already dreading the answer.

“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep so I practiced the choreography Hyunjinnie and I are preparing,” Felix explained, knowing that Changbin didn’t like his habit of going to the dance studio until late at night when he couldn’t sleep.

“Why didn’t you call me? You could have come over earlier,” Changbin pointed out, taking in how exhausted Felix looked.

“I didn’t wanna bother you,” Felix shrugged his shoulders as if he had long come to terms with the fact. 

“You could literally ask me to run to you in the middle of the night and I would. You never bother me, Lix,” Changbin said, frowning at his boyfriend’s words. Felix shrugged once again before lying down next to Changbin.

The bed was too small for two grown-up boys, clearly not meant for more than one person and the two of them had to huddle close to one another to avoid either of them falling on the floor.

"What are you doing? Is Minho-hyung not at home?" Felix asked, pointing at Changbin’s laptop resting on his legs. He leaned his head on Changbin's shoulder and threw an arm around his slim waist, trying not to disturb his hyung's work too much.

"I'm working on the melody for some lyrics I wrote during my flight here. And hyung is at Jisung's," Changbin explained, turning to give a kiss on the crown of Felix's head before leaning his own against Felix's.

“It's your last day here in Korea and he’s not going to spend it with you? That's weird,” Felix noticed perplexed, thinking Minho would have taken advantage of Changbin’s last day to spend it with his best friend.

“Don't worry, they both said they will come to the airport tomorrow morning to say bye,” Changbin reassured, shrugging his shoulders. It was true that the fact of him being in Korea was rare but that didn’t mean he wanted to stop Minho from hanging out with Jisung. Honestly, he would do the same with Felix too.

Felix hummed to let him know he had understood before going quiet, the whole room only filled with the noise of Changbin typing on his laptop. After quite a few minutes of silence, Changbin closed his work with a long sigh, putting the device on the bedside table where he kept a frame with a photo of him and Felix smiling happily at each other, taken on their first date. That was one of his favourite pictures of them together, the other being framed in his room in California.

When he noticed Felix hadn’t fallen asleep but was just silently staring at nothing, Changbin turned around watching his boyfriend with concern clear in his dark eyes.

"Babe, what's wrong?" he asked and, despite his worry, he grinned a little at the way the boy relaxed hearing the pet name. There were days when both of them didn’t feel like talking, simply relaxing cuddled up together, but overall Felix had always been the most joyful out of the two, always finding something to talk about. But today, he had been unusually quiet and clingy and Changbin knew that it meant that there was something bothering him.

"I told you, I can't sleep. That's all," the blond boy explained but it wasn’t hard to understand that there was something more going on. After all, he had never been that good of a liar.

"Yes, you did but then, why can't you sleep?" Changbin pried, just wanting to know how he could help. "And don't even try to lie, I always know when you lie," he warned before Felix could even come up with something to say that wasn’t the truth.

"I just have something on my mind," Felix confessed, his voice sounding almost as if it was about to break. It was something but still not enough.

"I'm going to wash my teeth and then I'll be back and you’re going to explain everything to me, okay?" Changbin suggested, gently caressing Felix’s eyebrow. He was so in love with the boy in front of him he just wanted to wrap him in a blanket and protect him from everything.

"Can I borrow some clothes? I didn’t bring any extra," Felix asked, blushing, releasing Changbin from the tight hug so that the older could get up.

"Why do you ask? You steal my clothes all the time," Changbin chuckled, moving towards the bathroom and closing the door behind him, but not before pecking him on the lips.

Standing up from the bed, Felix walked to the closet where he searched for one of Changbin's sweatshirt and a pair of basketball shorts, putting everything on. He loved how his boyfriend’s clothes were baggy on him even if Changbin wasn’t taller than him at all. Even more than that, he loved how he was immediately surrounded by Changbin’s scent, hugging him. 

At that moment, Changbin emerged from the bathroom, pyjamas on and fluffy hair.

"You know, even if I would like to find my clothes when I need them, I love seeing you wearing them," Changbin said, hugging his boyfriend from behind and placing his chin on Felix's shoulder.

“And you know that I love wearing them. I could probably fill up a whole closet with the sweater and shirts I stole from you at least once,” Felix laughed quietly, watching their reflection in the mirror of the closet. Changbin sighed when he noticed how Felix's smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Can you please tell me what's on your mind? I don't want to go back to California knowing there’s something bothering you,” Changin pleaded, nuzzling his nose on Felix's neck, hoping to make the younger relax a bit more.

“It's nothing, hyung. I've just been thinking about us lately,” Felix explained, not meeting Changbin’s eyes.

Changbin froze at the words. “What do you mean?” he asked confused, taking Felix's hand to lead him on the bad again where they could talk more comfortably.

Felix sighed hopelessly before he started to talk. “I was so happy to have you back here for break because I’ve missed you so much, every single day you’ve been away. But still, tomorrow you’re leaving again and I'll have to wait months just to meet you. Sometimes I wonder why you even bother waiting for me when you could find someone else better in California,” Felix finally confessed, clearly trying to find the right words to express what he was feeling.

It was not about trust, he knew that Changbin would never cheat on him, but sometimes he found himself having the same doubts Changbin had, not finding it fair to force the older to be loyal to someone so far away while around him there could be someone much better for him.

“Hey, babe, look at me,” Changbin interrupted his train of thoughts, noticing how Felix was nervously biting the flash of his lower lip. “I know it's hard, okay? I missed you just as much as you missed me,” he continued, placing his hands on both sides of Felix's neck, “I don't care if there could be someone else in college. I don't have to be with you, Lix, I want to, okay? Even if we can't see each other face to face whenever we want, the only thing I've always wanted and I still want is us to be together.”

Changbin’s words and touch had made Felix calm down a little but the older noticed how his breathing had started to become slightly heavier. “I love you so much, hyung. Every time you leave again, it's like a part of me comes with you and I hate how I can't hold you close and kiss you whenever I want to,” Felix confessed, his eyes glossy with tears. “I love to have you back but it hurts so much more when you leave again,” he finally finished, hugging his boyfriend tightly, finding comfort in the only person he would always want beside him.

“Baby, it's okay. I feel the same way. Please don't cry,” Changbin pleaded again, lacing his arms around Felix's waist and leaving small kisses all over his wet, blushing face. When Felix’s tears didn’t falter, Changbin laid them down, wrapping himself around Felix like an octopus, making it hard to understand which limb was whose.

When Felix calmed down a bit more, not really sure if it was because he was feeling better or because he had no more tears left to cry, Changbin spoke again breaking the silence in the room. “This should be a surprise, but right now I really can't hold myself back,” he began a little hesitantly. He really shouldn't talk about it before asking Chan if he could but knowing that it would make the boy crying on his shoulder feel better, he couldn’t help it.

“What?” Felix asked, his voice groggy and even lower than usual. His face was still pressed in his boyfriend’s neck but Changbin was proud to notice Felix was trying to even out his breath.

“Chan-hyung and I would like to move back here at the end of this college year,” he finally revealed, trying to sound as casual as possible even though he was extremely excited about the news. He could feel Felix going completely still in his arms, frozen as if he had seen a ghost. Even his breath stopped against Changbin’s neck.

“What? Are you serious? You're not joking right?” Felix leaned back, watching Changbin dead in the eyes, trying to catch the lie in them. However, the only thing he could find was pure sincerity and fondness written all over his boyfriend’s face.

“You really think I would joke around right now?” Changbin asked a bit hurt at the thought of his boyfriend thinking of him as that mean. “A producer contacted us a couple of weeks ago. Apparently, our professor has sent him our mixtapes and he would like to have us doing an internship in his company here in Seoul,” Changbin explained before taking a pause, “anyway, even before that, both of us thought about it a lot, I want to be as close as possible to you and the guys, while Chan-hyung finds it hard to settle in after having taken so long to consider Korea his home.” 

Felix looked at Changbin, smiling when he met his sparkling eyes just to turn dead serious a moment later. “I feel so stupid now, you could have told me before!” he cried out, slapping Changbin’s arm. He still couldn't resist joining Changbin when the older burst out laughing at the sudden reaction.

“Me and hyung wanted it to be a surprise and I didn't want to tell you before being one-hundred per cent sure about it. Since it’s our college that promoted this internship we will attend classes here in Seoul while working for the company. It’s also why hyung didn’t visit with me, he’s trying to sort some things out before the end of the semester,” Changbin explained, clearing away all the doubts Felix had. “I’ll finish the year and then move back here and live my life with all the people I care about. What do you think?” he finished.

Even if he knew Felix would have probably been just as happy to have them both moving back home, he couldn't help being a bit nervous about his reaction. After all, the plan meant that in less than three months both he and Chan were going to be moving back to Korea.

“What do I think? Hyung, it’s the best thing you could have ever told me! I'm so happy right now, that means I will see you every day, just as it was before you moved away,” Felix exclaimed, jumping on Changbin again, pinning him down on the bad with the force of his hug. Changbin's heart melted at the sound of Felix’s joyful laugh ringing in the air.

“Since it's the last time we’ll see each other face to face for a while I wanted to ask you something,” Changbin started, calling for Felix’s attention. “When I’ll be back in Seoul, would you like to move in with me?” he asked hesitantly, never unwrapping his arms from around Felix so he could keep him against his chest and prevent the younger from seeing the light red dusting his cheeks.

“Are you serious right now?” Felix asked for the second time that night, raising his head to meet Changbin’s eyes, enjoying the view of his boyfriend’s blushing face at mare centimetres from his own.

“Yes– no– I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to or if you think it’s too early. But if you would like it as much as me I would be very happy. Like very, very happy,” Changbin emphasised, his short rambling making Felix understand how nervous he actually was to ask that question.

“Yes, oh my god! Of course, I would like to move in with you,” Felix said, his blinding smile making Changbin’s doubts disappear in less than a second. “God, I love you so much, nothing could make me happier,” Felix sighed, moving away a bit just to be able to leave a short kiss on the corner of Changbin’s mouth.

Changbin took Felix’s face in his hands, starting to pepper kisses all over it. His blushing cheeks, his cute little nose, his freckled forehead and lastly his pouty lips. “You know how many times I’ve dreamed of cuddling you until we fell asleep? The last time we could do this every night was in high school before I moved away.” Changbin sighed, not believing this was finally happy. Not only was he going to move back home in a matter of a few months but he was even going to live with his amazing boyfriend whom he loved to the moon and back.

“Think it like this, love, we were happy together for two years even if we were apart, now we have to resist just for another three months and then I will be here with you for as long as you'll want me,” Felix promised, his eyes so determined that Changbin couldn’t even question if he really meant what he was saying.

“I'm going to use this sentence against you every time we have an argument you know that, do you?” Changbin teased, trying to lighten the mood just to avoid Felix seeing how glossy his eyes had got from his boyfriend's words

“I figured you would,” Felix chuckled, pretending not to notice the effect his words had on Changbin. “You have to be up early for your flight, hyung. It’s probably better if we go to sleep now,” Felix suggested, both because it was the truth and because he had the feeling both of them needed a small break from the rollercoaster of emotions of the last hour.

Changbin hummed, before untangling his limbs from Felix's just so that they could get under the covers and cuddle together once again. Neither of them was willing to let the other go, too content and happy with the news Changbin had revealed.

“Goodnight, hyung. Please wake me up tomorrow, I want to come with you to the airport,” Felix whispered, before closing his eyes, his head resting under Changbin’s chin.

“You don't have—” Changbin started, tightening his hold around his boyfriend.

“But I want to. No buts,” Felix cut him off, too stubborn to let the older change his mind.

“Fine,” Changbin sighed pretending not to feel the butterflies going crazy in his stomach. “I love you so much. Goodnight, baby,” he wished, kissing the top of Felix’s head once more before closing his eyes.

“I love you too, hyung. 'Night,” Felix answered, snuggling closer to his boyfriend's warm body.

When the following day Changbin’s flight was called and they had to say goodbye, neither of their smiles faltered for even a second. The usual bitter feeling at the idea of having to part ways was this time replaced by the warm feeling of what the future had in store for them.

…

Three months had passed since that moment and Felix couldn't be more eager to start this new part of his life with the boy he loved. But Changbin hadn't brought up the topic of them moving in together again and Felix wondered if maybe he had regretted even suggesting the idea.

While he was over the moon about having Changbin close again, he couldn't erase the sharp taste in his mouth whenever the older asked him to come over, having completely forgotten about the proposal he had made just months before. Besides that, nothing seemed out of the normal. Felix spent more time at Changbin’s flat, now that Minho had finally moved in with Jisung and the whole group went back to that routine they had always had before Chan and Changbin moved away.

Even if he pretended not to be affected by Changbin completely ignoring the elephant in the room, he couldn’t help wanting to know if the reason was that he had regretted even asking or if there was something more. Knowing there was no way he could ask Changbin without either making the older uncomfortable or embarrassing himself to death, he opted to ask Chan, the one who probably had an idea of what went through Changbin’s mind while they were away together.

Hanging out with Chan again was a breath of fresh air, after having missed the older for long. Chan had been the one who helped Felix get settled in Korea and he was even the one who had introduced Felix to Changbin. 

Genuinely interested, Felix had asked Chan everything about the year he was away, wanting to know how it had been for him and everything that happened. Then, he dropped the question that had been on his mind for a while, “hyung, has Changbin-hyung ever told you anything about me?” 

Chan looked at him questioningly, not knowing what he meant exactly. “He talks about you all the time. You’ll need to be a bit more specific, Fe,” Chan said, a teasing grin on his face still not entirely covering his confusion.

Felix sighed, blushing a bit. “When hyung was here for spring break, he asked me to move in with him after coming back to Korea. Now, it looks like he doesn’t even remember asking,” Felix pouted. He didn’t want to sound petty but at the same time, he felt a bit hurt by his boyfriend’s behaviour.

“That’s weird,” Chan started, furrowing his brows, “he was so excited when he flew back from here. He couldn’t stop talking about it and planning things.” Now Changbin’s actions looked even odder knowing he hadn’t, in fact, forgotten about the question. “Have you asked him about it?” Chan suggested, making Felix scoff.

“Of course not,” he pouted even more, “I can’t just walk up to him and ask that. Maybe he has regretted it or thinks it’s too early. I don’t know,” Felix trailed off, just wanting to have answers.

“I really don’t think that’s the case, Fe. I say you should talk to him about it, you know Changbin is too shy to do that,” Chan pointed out and Felix had to agree, even if he didn’t like the idea one bit.

With a nod and no more shared words, Chan changed the topic, trying to make the nervous look in Felix's eyes disappear.

Unbeknownst to the both of them, just as Felix was filled with doubts about why Changbin had never said anything about the proposal he had made, the older was just as insecure.

“Hyung, what if he has changed his mind?” Changbin asked Minho who had kindly come to the younger’s flat when the boy was about to have a breakdown over the matter.

Changbin was lying on his bed like a starfish, staring at the ceiling while Minho looked at him unimpressed from the desk chair.

“What if he thinks I’m weird for asking so early on? Or maybe he doesn’t like this place?” Changbin continued, shooting question after question.

“You call it early on? You’ve been dating for over two years, the boy has stayed with you even when you were on the other side of the globe,” Minho deadpanned, picking at his nails.

“Maybe he needs his space? Perhaps he doesn't like to share–” Changbin groaned in his arms.

“Listen here, you panicked gay,” Minho cut him off, standing up. “First, this place is at a five-minute walk from the dance studio, while he has to drive twenty minutes every morning to get there from his flat,” Minho raised a finger. “Second, I literally heard the boy saying he didn’t have enough clean clothes at home because they were all at yours.” For good measure, he opened Changbin’s closet, half of it filled with Felix's sweatshirts and jeans. “Third, he even has a key. He comes here in the morning to make you breakfast when he’s not busy and cooks you dinner when you get home late from the company,” Minho finally finished his voice exasperated at having to spell everything out for Changbin. “And besides, have you seen his face when I announced I was moving in with Jisung? He looked at you like a kicked puppy,” Minho added.

“This doesn't mean anything—” Changbin tried to say, too in denial to get the hints.

“Don’t even try to finish that sentence,” Minho threatened, “the boy basically lives here already. You just haven’t made it official yet.” And with that, Minho walked out of the door as dramatically as possible, leaving Changbin to roll in his bed, wondering how he even got in such a mess.

From that day on, Changbin started to pay attention to all the things Minho told him, just to see if his best friend was over exaggerating everything or if he did actually have a point. From the way Felix walked in his flat like it was the normal routine, to the late night dinners ready at home for when he came back from work and to all the times he wore clothes he had taken from the closet without even realising they were Felix’s. It didn’t take long for Changbin to realise Minho had been right all along.

Now all Changbin needed to do was to man up and officially ask Felix to move in with him. Again.

Changbin was exhausted after having attended lessons until five in the afternoon and then ran to the company until past ten. All he wanted to do now was get home, eat the first thing he could find in his fridge, take a shower and bury himself under the blankets of his bed. Maybe squeeze a phone call to wish Felix goodnight somewhere.

His plans were slightly changed when he reached his apartment to find the lights on and the delicious smell of ramen in the air. He didn’t need to think twice before walking straight to the kitchen and drape himself around Felix’s back. The younger was busy at the stove and, by his high-pitched scream, Changbin figured he didn't hear him come in.

“God, hyung, you scared the shit out of me,” Felix painted, resting a hand on his heart which was beating furiously in his chest. Perhaps it wasn’t only because of the scare.

“What are you doing here?” Changbin asked instead. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on Felix’s back, feeling all the tension leave his body. Felix furrowed his brows at how tired Changbin sounded.

“I came to pick up some of my clothes, my closet is empty,” Felix explained chuckling. Changbin didn’t fail to notice the tentativeness his laugh carried. “I didn’t know you had work today and since you’re always dead tired when you come back I figured I could cook you something so you don’t have to,” he continued, his voice so casual that Changbin wondered why he had never realised how normal it actually was to have Felix randomly appear in his apartment.

“You’re an angel,” Changbin simply said and even if the words didn’t say much the pure adoration in his voice did the job. Felix must have heard it too because he quickly turned around, Changbin’s arms now on his waist before leaving a sweet kiss on his forehead.

“Go take a shower while I finish here, love. You look exhausted,” Felix suggested, giving a final peck on Changbin’s lips before letting him go.

Changbin didn’t have the heart to tell him that half of the reason why he was so tired was that he couldn’t sleep last night, thinking about how many things could go wrong if he tried to bring up the topic of Felix moving in with him once again.

When Changbin was finally done showering and his cup of ramen was waiting for him at the table, together with his boyfriend, Changbin decided to take advantage of his brain being so sleepy to finally drop the bomb. But apparently, Felix beat him into it.

“There’s something I need to ask you,” Felix began, watching Changbin munching on his noodles. Changbin tilted his head but nodded.

“I wanted to talk to you about something too,” Changbin announced, knowing that now that he said it there was no way he could chicken out. “But you can go first.”

Felix nodded and Changbin was surprised how tense Felix looked. He didn’t like the idea of his boyfriend being so nervous because of him and with a practised move, he linked their fingers over the table, squeezing them gently to let Felix know he could take his time.

“Do you remember when you came home for spring break? Just a few months ago,” Felix started, his eyes staring right at Changbin’s noodles as if he was the one who wanted to eat it.

Changbin felt suddenly more awake as he straightened his back and hummed, their fingers still tightly interlocked.

“You asked me something but you’ve never said anything about it now that you’re back,” the younger hinted, still not going straight to the point, afraid to make Changbin uncomfortable with his pushing.

Changbin knew exactly what Felix meant but he still kept quiet not knowing what Felix wanted to say about it.

It seemed like Felix suddenly found a drop of determination because his eyes were now looking at Changbin’s, his voice sure. “Hyung, you asked me to move in with you and then nothing. I guess I just wanted to ask if you regretted it,” Felix confessed and, just as it came, the confidence slipped away. “I mean, it’s okay if you did. I just want to know the truth so I can stop hoping for it since you’re clearly not up for it right now and—” he rambled, his free hand drawing shapes in the air.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Changbin interrupted. He couldn’t believe that each and every doubt he had was mirrored in Felix who had spent the last few weeks convincing himself that Changbin had regretted his proposal. Changbin quickly got up, his dinner soon forgotten as he dragged Felix to the couch by their still intertwined hands.

Felix had gone silent, his eyes cast on the ground and Changbin hated knowing he was the one who had made him feel so hesitant. “I’m so sorry I made you think I had changed my mind. And I’m even more sorry that you feel so insecure because of it,” Changbin started, ignoring how he was blushing as long as his words had some kind of effect on Felix. “I’ve never regretted asking, the only thing I regret is not having had the balls to ask again as soon as I landed here,” he confessed, his knees knocking on Felix’s as they were both set cross-legged facing each other. 

“And why didn’t you?” Felix asked, his voice sounding so small that all Changbin wanted to do was wrap his arms around him and keep him safe in his hug.

“I had all the same doubts you had, Lix,” Changbin confessed, “I was scared you had changed your mind or maybe thought it was too early. I needed Minho-hyung to tell me you basically live here already to get the courage to ask you again. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about just before but you beat me to it.” Changbin felt both over the moon realising Felix had indirectly said he still wanted to move in with him and angry at himself for not having asked before.

“Do you remember what I said that day? When you asked me,” Felix questioned, raw love written all over his face. Changbin had to pause for a second at the sight of it.

The older smiled, recalling that day. “That nothing could make you happier,” he repeated, silently agreeing with the words.

Felix hummed, content. “I still stand by that statement, you know,” he chuckled, all the tension leaving his body, now replaced with buzzing happiness. Changbin was now sure of what he had to do.

“Would you like to move in with me? Or at least, make it official,” Changbin asked, a fierce blush taking over his skin but this time he didn’t chicken out. The idea of having Felix by his side all the time was worth the embarrassment.

Felix didn’t need to answer, not verbally at least. He leaned in and, in a quick motion, his lips were pressed on Changbin’s, the love between them travelling in the form of sparks from one boy to the other.

“So I guess you don’t need to take your clothes home then?” Changbin asked playfully, his mouth so close to Felix’s that every time his lips formed a word they would touch the younger’s over and over again. 

“I don’t,” Felix confirmed in a sigh, his eyes closed, “this is home now.”

The fact that both of them had waited for the other, even when Changbin was miles and miles away, was all the confirmation they needed to know that they were meant to share a long journey together. And Changbin was sure of that when every time he opened the door of their home he could feel Felix’s presence in the air, his scent, his voice, his love.

And above all, the sweet whisper the younger always greeted him with.

“I missed you, sunshine.”

They wouldn’t have it any other way.