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AN: Big thanks to ArgentumOculus and Lady Kenz for their awesome Alpha/Beta work!
I saw a post from Tumblr on Facebook and just had to make it happen. There are original characters and this is not truly canon compliant. Fred Weasley had to be here for this one. I don’t own Harry Potter, I just play in the sandbox. Enjoy!
Every year Molly Weasley made sure that each child, spouse, and grandchild had a brand new Weasley sweater that had been knitted just for them, with their letter on the front as was the Weasley tradition. She always started with Bill and worked on down the line.
The week before Christmas she finally had everyone’s sweaters made and had them all delivered the night before as a gift to open on Christmas morning, so everyone would have their sweater on by the time they met for supper.
The Burrow had been remodeled after the war with Ron and the twins using their earnings from Weasley Wizard Wheezes to hire and build a home with room enough for every family. While it was no Malfoy Manor, it was still a house fit for a king. This made Christmas the favorite holiday since everyone would be under one roof until New Years.
Bill and Fleur arrived early, their three blonde children taking off into the house, throwing bags everywhere, while their parents talked with Charlie . Pretty soon, the floo roared and out stepped Percy, Audrey, and their two little girls, all wearing their sweaters. While the girls took off, the parents made their way into the kitchen to greet the Weasley matriarch and grab some famous Weasley eggnog. Percy spoke as he kissed his mother on the cheek.
“Happy Christmas, Mum. Thank you for our sweaters. Both the girls have grown so much, I’m glad that we get new ones every year.” Audrey gave her a hug as well, then turned to help Percy grab some eggnog for the rest of the adults in the living room.
It wasn’t long until voices were heard outside, signaling the arrival of the twins and their families. George promptly landing and starting to wail on his twin.
“You cheated Forge! We agreed that we were leaving on the count of 3!” Giving his brother the slip and a shit-eating grin Fred ran and hid behind his wife.
“Oh on the contrary Gred! You never said if it was on three or after 3!” This lead to George trying to change his head into a pumpkin, only to unsuccessfully land the charm on Katie.
“ GEORGE WEASLEY ! You undo that charm this instant” Angelina scolded. “She will not walk in the house as a pumpkin head!”
Having the decency to at least appear thoroughly chastised, he reversed the charm only to be hit with a hair color charm from a concealed wand hiding under Katie’s arm. The twins had long since patented a charm that changed the color of one's hair, depending on their magical core. The majority of the Weasleys boasted cores that mimicked the element of fire—hence the red hair, however, the charm turned their hair a deplorable shade of purple. As the men chased each other around the house, the others went inside, ignoring their hijinx, to find their cousins and friends.
Bill and Charlie watched in amusement as their younger brothers were at a stand-off. Bill chuckled and elbowed Charlie as George hit Fred with a tickling jinx.
“I'm glad to see that they’ve never truly grown up. That would’ve been a sad sight,” Charlie chuckled in agreement and wrapped a lazy arm around Bill before they both headed back into the house.
True to fashion, it was indeed Hermione and her family who were the next to arrive. Hermione, Draco, Scorpius, Lyra, and Cassiopeia all stepped out of the floo and into the living room. Scorp racing off to find Oliver, hoping to start a game of quidditch before supper, while the girls followed behind into the kitchen.
Draco was first to wrap Molly into a hug, “Merry Christmas, Molly. It smells delicious as always.”
“Thank you, Draco.” Molly offered her cheek, which her ‘adopted’ son in law graciously pressed a quick kiss.
Surprisingly, it was the Weasley matriarch who was the first to accept Draco Malfoy not only into her home, but her family as well. Hermione was one of her own and knew that her happiness came first and foremost. This was only amplified with the passing of Narcissa who had passed shortly after seeing her first grandchild.
Hermione gave her a hug and then turned to her girls, “Lyra, why don’t you and Cassie go get your aprons and we'll help Nana Molly finish up supper?” Hermione's lips turned up into a smile as she saddled up to Molly. “We know Uncle Ron doesn’t like waiting for food.” The girls giggled and took off while Hermione grabbed the rest of the ingredients from the fridge to help make treacle tart.
Pressing a kiss into his wife's temple, Draco headed into the lounge where Bill, Charlie, and the Twins had all settled.
“Pay up! I told you they'd be next!” Bill flipped Charlie a galleon and Draco shook his head. Some things would never change. As the lot of them settled into a lazy quidditch discussion, Harry and Ginny stepped through the door, stomping snow from their boots. They were followed closely by Teddy and Albus who were eager to find Victoire, Louis, and Scorpius. Harry shook the snow from his hair, clapping Draco's shoulder firmly as he rounded the fire.
"Happy Christmas, all."
Charlie grinned up at his brother in law, his eyes hazy with eggnog. "Happy Christmas, Potter. How's that renovation coming?"
"Finishing up nicely, thanks. We were able to push through the end quickly--"
"Right," Bill snorted, his lips pulling into a lopsided smile. "That big fat paycheck that comes along with Head Auror doesn't hurt, I bet." Being Head Auror at such a young age allowed Harry to build up enough savings to purchase and remodel his parents' home, a luxury that Harry never took for granted.
The rest of the Potters weren’t even fully inside when Ginny began to shout. Taking the empty spot by Bill on the couch, Harry waited to see just who was in trouble this time. He leaned over to his brother in law, “She never ceases to terrify me.”
Ginny looked ever the mini Molly Weasley as she berated her eldest. “ JAMES SIRIUS ! I swear to Merlin, if you don’t get your act together, I will take you straight home and call the sitter. I don’t care if this is family Christmas! I will take every single one of your Christmas presents and give them to Kreacher!”
Eager to avoid their mothers' wrath, Lily ran off to find Molly and Roxanne. James walked off sulking towards the quidditch grove where Astrid, Ivan, Edith, and Easton were all making lazy loops around the trees.
Ginny froze on her way to the living room when she heard Lucy shout, “MY HAIR!” and seeing a flash of turquoise take off in the opposite direction. She leveled Fred and George with a stare.
“I love you two, but I cannot BELIEVE you taught that hair charm to Teddy and James. They have done nothing but wreak havoc with it.” She took off after Lucy who was trying in vain to charm her hair back, resulting in horrid purple and green stripes.
No surprise to anyone, Ron, Luna and their children Branimir, Natalie, Isidora, and Titus were the last to arrive. Luna waltzed over to Draco, wrapping him in a familiar hug. Ever since the war, Luna had made it her mission to make sure that he knew how good of a person that he was. In fact, without her, he wasn't sure if he would have found the courage to finally ask out Hermione.
“Happy Christmas, Luna. You’re looking lovely as ever, ” Draco said warmly, wrapping his arms around the bubbly witch.
“Thank you, it's the humdingers. They love the holidays.” Luna said the rest of her hellos and made her way into the kitchen to help set the table.
After the last plate had been cleared and the kitchen had been cleaned, George gave an all too familiar signal. Secret Meeting. Upstairs Library. Five minutes. Nods were given as they discreetly shuffled away. Most of the children were already upstairs by the time that George strolled in. He made his way over to the huddle with a photo album and waved it in the air.
“Oi! You lot, gather around. As you all know this photo album has got every one of our Weasley Christmas photos in it. However, what mum doesn’t know is that...” he paused and waved his hand over the album, everyone watching the ripples of magic flow out and over the book “...we charm the album to stay still so she doesn’t see the inappropriate pictures that we have taken over the years. This year, however, we finally have enough vowels to really go for a big one this year. We have waited to continue this tradition until most of you were able to understand what we are doing. I know that a few of the letters that we need are some of the younger siblings, however, I am trusting you to make sure you get into your positions and have your sibling in theirs accordingly.”
Fred picked up the speech from there. “We cannot start out with the big one but will need to work our way up to it. We start out in groups of families, then we subtly move throughout pictures until our end result. If we hit a few more swears along the way, brilliant. Our big word this year is ‘Merlin's Tits’ however, I would like to try and repeat last years ‘Elf Bogies’ if at all possible. Remember, we cannot get caught! I am entrusting the photo album to Charlie this year for safekeeping from mum, so if we get caught, we know who to blame!” Everyone nodded in agreement and staggered leaving so they wouldn’t raise suspicion.
Soon enough it was time to take pictures. Everyone lined up by family and waited for Arthur to set the camera. Taking a moment to look at the picture, Molly’s eyes glazed with a sappy smile and she said to no one in particular, “This may be the best one yet.”
George smiled cheekily at his mum “It may be, but let's take a few more just to be safe!”
Before the next camera flash, Roxanne, Scorpius, and Edith had strategically placed themselves next to Angelina to get in the first swear. ‘Arse’ was a pretty easy one to start out with. The second swear was pretty easy too, all it took was for Natalie to move on the opposite side of Isidora to get the word ‘Bint.’
“Alright George, we’ve taken two more, these should be plenty.” Molly made a move toward the camera but was suddenly steered back to the group by Fred.
“Just a few more mum. These are the only pics you get all year of the entire family. Make them count!” Molly huffed back, slightly aggravated, however, she didn’t notice that more of her family had moved. Bran had made his way over to Astrid who was already in her place beside Scorpius who had moved on the other side of Teddy. This put Albus between Teddy and Roxanne and making Domonique the final piece for swear number three, ‘bastard.’
The next two were going to be really difficult. To set this up, Charlie spoke to the group
“Alright, last two pics you lot! Go stand by a cousin, mix it up!”
Edith grabbed Lyra and found their spot on the right of Uncle Fred. George did the same and grabbed Bran and Oliver and placed them between himself and Fred. This left Isidora to grab Easton and make their way over to Scorpius. Thus hitting last years ‘elf bogies.’
“Last one!”
Little Molly finally got to move beside Edith, who had gotten Lyra to swap places with Roxanne. Isidora snaked between people until finding Natalie and getting into their places. Scorpius and Teddy had grabbed Ivan and Titus and positioned them in their places.
Upon the last click, everyone cheered and high fived. They had done it. Fiveswears, the most yet, including this years very first, ‘Merlins Tit!’
Molly found her way out of the group and over to the camera to grab the photo. She smiled as she looked down at her family. However, her smile soon began to fade as the pictures changed. She noticed that kids had moved places in the photos and-
Fred and George made eye contact and looked at their mother who was absolutely livid. Well shit. They had been caught.
“BOYS!”
Fin.