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Khai’s third year of university had been rough. While he wasn’t even halfway through the first semester, Khai had already deemed this year the worst of his adult life.
And all of that was happening for one simple reason: he had fallen in love with his best friend.
Khai had thought he’d been in love before, with the many girlfriends he had managed to have in two years of time.
You see, Khai had been quite the player. He had changed girlfriends almost every week from age eighteen to twenty. Now, he had been single for over three months, and it felt weird. He had thought he was in love with all of his ex girlfriends, but it had been more of a crush.
Love, though, was a very different story. Now that he was truly in love with someone, Third nonetheless, it all felt so much more painful.
Third, like the three other members of his gang, was also a player. Well, he was the most tame of them all, only switching boyfriends once a month, but he still was very much bad like the rest of them.
And it hurt. Seeing him with all of these boys.
Before Khai had realized his true feelings four months ago, he never cared about Third’s dating life, but now, it seemed as if it was the only thing he could think about.
Khai had realized he was in love with Third on the road trip the Gangsters had taken around Thailand during their summer break.
They had shared a room for most of the trip, leaving Two and Bone together in another. They had gotten even closer than before, and, maybe because of the heat or the constant sunlight, Khai had fallen for Third.
It had been a shock. After all, not only he had fallen for a boy, but for his best friend at that.
After a week of constant freak out once he had gone home from their trip, Khai’s mind had become clear. It was indeed love.
Going back to university and hanging out with Third, while seeming like a good idea at first, had only brought him heartache thus far.
Third didn’t seem to see him at all, only caring about his boyfriend of the month. Khai would never have a place in his heart.
While he had resigned himself to having a one-sided love for a few months before finally getting over it, something made him change halfway through the semester.
“I’m staying far away from boys. They’re starting to give me a headache,” Third announced one day. “None of them give me… the romance I want from them.”
Ah, yes. Khai had always found it hilarious that Third was both a player and a hopeless romantic. The two didn’t seem to have anything in common, but apparently Third was the only exception.
“Well finally,” Two declared. “All of them were so full of drama.”
“True,” Bone agreed.
Third groaned, burying his head in between his arms. “I’m so fucked. I moved in with Morn.”
“What?!” They all shouted, making him bury his head even further.
“Well...” his voice was only a gargle, “I’ve been having money issues lately, and Morn offered me to move into his place… and now we broke up. I’m homeless.”
“You’re so dumb...” Two joked, still putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“You can come live with me.”
Khai’s lips had moved without his consent, making him say the absolute worst thing he could have: he absolutely couldn’t live with Third, he could never get over him that way.
Third’s head shot up, looking at him with the cutest smile: “Really?!”
He nodded, again against his true thoughts.
Third got up from his sit and came to hug him. “Khai, you’re my best friend in the entire world! Thank you!”
So that’s how Khai ended up living with the one he was trying to get over.
“Wake up!”
A body was jumping on his bed, straddling his thighs. Khai stole a glance from under his comforter, seeing Third’s face looking at him.
“Hmmm...” he groaned, trying to get onto his side and go back to sleep.
“I made you breakfast!”
2 minutes later, Khai was sat at the kitchen table next to his best friend, eating the continental breakfast he had made him.
They had been living together for about ten days, and so far nothing bad had happened, though Khai suspected it could come any day now.
Actually, Third had been really lovely with him, cooking, cleaning and spending time with him more than ever. That didn’t help Khai’s heart forget him, though.
“Let’s go to the movies together,” Third offered. “I’ll pay. My boyfriends would never let me go alone with you, but now that we’re both single we’re as free as the wind!”
Khai nodded with a smile, eating his fried egg.
“By the way… why have you been single? You have been for a while now.”
He looked at Third, who seemed genuinely interested in his answer.
“Well…” he started, nervous. “I felt like you. I was tired of changing girlfriends all the time and no one fitting me. Being single is sometimes better.”
“You’re right! No more girls and boys in our lives!” Third exclaimed, clanking his orange juice’s glass against the table. “Now there’s only the both of us.”
Khai felt his heart stop. One of the worst things about Third was how much of a flirt he was.
“Well, there’s Two and Bone too,” he added.
“Pff,” Third puffed. “Two is too busy with P’Un and Bone spends his time crushing on our editing teacher.”
Khai laughed. “You’re right.”
They ended up watching a shitty action movie, Third insisting that he couldn’t watch any romantic movie anymore.
Khai didn’t really focus on it though, too busy glancing at his profile, watching him eat his cheese popcorn in the cutest manner.
“Well, this was shit,” Third concluded when they walked out of the movie theater.
“Yep,” Khai laughed.
That night, they went home and ate dinner together before going to sleep. While Third’s day ended there, Khai’s continued in his mind: thinking about his moments spent with him over and over.
“This looks like shit!” Third criticized.
They were shopping for new hipster clothes at the mall, and Third was being hard to please.
“Why do you even need new clothes?” Khai mocked. “You’ve been living with me for less than a month and you’ve been receiving clothing bought online every other day.”
“Yeah but I really want this style of shirt!” Third pouted, looking absolutely adorable.
Suddenly, his easy-going manners disappeared, becoming as cold as ice for a few seconds, before Third put on a fake smile, taking Khai’s hand in his.
“Baby,” he said loudly, getting closer to him and showing him a tee-shirt. “You’d look so hot in this. You should try it.”
Khai might as well have been declared dead because his heart had stopped beating. Third’s hand was so soft in his, fitting perfectly. Hearing him call him ‘baby’ also did many things to him.
Khai still found the strength not to faint and turn around, to see Morn with another guy looking at them. Of course. That was a show.
He didn’t let his disappointment show through and, instead, squeezed Third’s hand and smiled. “Okay baby, I will try it for you.”
Third’s mouth was suddenly on his cheek. “Thank you, you’re the best boyfriend in the whole world.”
Right after that, Morn was gone, and Third was letting go of his hand.
“Thank you so much, Khai.” He said, unaware of what he’d just put his best friend through. “Morn must be fuming. Especially since he always said that I liked you more than him.” He turned to look at him with a cunning smile. “He wasn’t wrong.”
Khai tried really hard not to look like he was was dying of happiness inside, and probably failed.
“Here is is… The Third Special!”
To celebrate Third’s one month of living with Khai, he had insisted in cooking a full dinner for his host, and Two and Bone had, of course, wanted to come.
The Third Special was really good. Third seemed to beam more at each exclamations and sounds of pleasure from his friends, barely eating himself.
“You should eat too,” scolded Khai with a smile.
Third put a hand to his head in an army salute. “Yes dad.”
Khai felt himself blush a little, ignoring Bone and Two’s gazes.
After the meal, they all sat on the couch to watch a movie for an assignment. Third cuddled closer to Khai, putting his head on his shoulder, which made him unable to focus on anything but that.
Halfway through the film, Third fell asleep, head slowly slipping from his shoulder to his laps. Khai then didn’t even make an effort to look up at the screen anymore.
He starred at Third’s face for the rest of it, allowing his hand to caress his hair for a brief moment.
It was the stolen moments, like these, that made it impossible for him to forget Third.
“So… you’re in love with Third.”
It was Two that said it, of course he did, the persistent bastard. It was said in a low but clear voice, almost apologetic. Bone looked as embarrassed as him.
Khai’s head suddenly felt too heavy for his neck, going down towards his crossed arms.
It was the day after their little dinner and movie party, and these two seemed to have figured it out.
“Hm,” he said, head buried deep.
He expected them to say ‘this sucks, dude’, or ‘you need to get over it’, or ‘since when do you like boys?’, but all he got was silence.
After a few seconds, he finally raised his head up again. Both pair of eyes were on him.
“Aren’t you going to tell me that this is a bad idea?” He asked.
“Well...” Two started.
“I kinda see you two together,” Bone answered.
Khai’s surprise must have been showing on his face.
“What? You’d look cute together!” Bone defended himself with a laugh.
“He’s not wrong,” Two agreed. “Besides, he already likes boys, you’re both fuckboys, you get along as friends… why not.”
Khai’s breath fell short.
“But us being friends is exactly the problem!” He exclaimed, before getting really quiet. “I don’t want to lose my best friend. So I prefer to pine from afar.”
Suddenly he felt a hand on the back of his head, hitting him quite hard. Two’s.
“Ouch!”
“Dumbass. Do you really think Third would stop being your friend if he knew you liked him and didn’t like you back? It’d be awkward for a while, but at least you could move on.”
“But if we date… and break up? Then I’ll have lost a boyfriend and a friend.” He counter-attacked.
“You’re thinking too far ahead,” Bone scolded. “Focus on the right now instead of the what ifs.”
“Here’s what you do. You live together now,” Two said. “So you find the perfect romantic occasion and you confess. That’s it. That’s all you gotta focus on for now.”
“Should I really confess?” He wondered aloud.
“Yes!” They both shouted.
That same night, Khai decided to try and find a way to confess to Third.
The occasion came one night after they had gone out drinking with the gang. It wasn’t romantic or cute, but it still happened.
They were both a little dizzy, but not drunk. They got home with a taxi, Third’s head placed on Khai’s shoulder during the whole ride.
Once inside, while they both would usually go straight to bed, Third lingered on the couch, insisting Khai stayed too.
“Stay! I wanna talk to you about something.”
“What is it?”
“Well, you’ve been a little weird these last few days. What’s going on?”
Maybe that was the moment Khai had been waiting for, and he should confess.
Third, I like you. I have a crush on you. I love you. More than a friend. Should he say it like that? The atmosphere called for a love confession, all intimate and quiet.
“Well… Third…”
He looked at him, who seemed serious and focused on each of his words.
“Hum… I don’t really know how to tell you…”
“Just say it! You’re making me nervous,” Third joked.
“Okay,” he passed a nervous hand in his hair. “I kinda… uh, have a crush on you. I mean, it’s more than a crush. I’m in love with you.”
Third was frozen in front of him, eyes opened wide and jaw slightly dropped.
Khai felt the need to continue: “I just needed to tell you that. It’s okay if you don’t like me back…”
Third seemed to regain conscience.
“Since when?” He asked, barely looking at him.
Khai’s discomfort only grew stronger. “This summer.”
Silence rose up again. Khai felt the need to get away from that situation as soon as possible, but Third spoke again.
“Did I give you any signals? I didn’t even know you liked boys…”
Khai shook his head, tears starting to gather in his eyes. “You didn’t. It just… happened.”
Third didn’t say anything more. Khai’s cheek were now a watery mess, and he just got up.
“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I just needed to say it.”
With these last words, he simply went to his room, trying to get himself to stop crying. At least now he had his answer.
Khai wanted to kill Two and Bone. ‘Nothing will change if you confess,’ they had said, those lying bastards.
It was the next day and they were having lunch before going back to class and things were awkward. He could feel their eyes on him, at the exception of Third who was only staring at his plate.
“Hum, what’s going on?” Two finally asked. “You two have been out of it today.”
Third finally looked up, still ignoring Khai’s gaze and smiled. “Dude, I drank way too much yesterday. My head hurts.”
It was Khai’s turn to be interrogated. He gulped. “Yeah, same.”
Third didn’t go home that night, probably sleeping at a new boyfriend’s place. Khai was left all alone with his thoughts, wondering why he had listened to his friends and confessed.
Now he’d ruined everything.
He still had more than a year and a half in that university, and he’d messed it all up.
He wanted to call Two and Bone so bad, but was afraid he would get angry at them and ruin yet another friendship, so preferred to cool down on his own.
‘Cooling down’ consisted of laying on his bed and crying until he fell asleep, so a brilliant plan.
The next day, Third was waiting for him on the same couch he had been confessed to two days earlier. Khai almost ignored him and went out, but something in Third’s demeanor kept him from doing that.
He looked nervous, but also pretty happy. Nothing like the boy he had been the day before.
“Khai,” he uttered. “Can we talk?”
He nodded, embarrassed to feel his gaze on him after having confessed, and sat down next to him on the couch.
“So…” Third started. “You weren’t joking, right? You do… love me?”
Khai blushed, looking away for a moment, before nodding. “Hm.”
“Look at me, please,” Third begged, putting a hand on his.
Khai’s eyes suddenly couldn’t focus on anything else, watching Third’s thumb caress his own knuckles. After a while, he looked up, and, suddenly, didn’t feel ashamed anymore.
Third was looking at him with a soft smile, eyes firmly on his.
“I must admit… that your confession shocked me,” he smiled. “I mean, as I already said I didn’t even know you liked boys, and I thought you only saw me as a friend.”
“I did,” Khai responded. “For 2 years, I did. But then… things changed.”
“Yeah,” Third agreed. “But I didn’t really notice them changing. For me, no matter what I felt for you, you were my best friend, and that’s it.”
‘What I felt for you.’ Khai’s breath fell short. What did he feel? He needed to know.
“What you… felt?” he managed to utter, throat closing up.
Third simply smiled. “Yesterday, I went to talk with Two and Bone and we managed to talk all night. Mostly about you.”
“Me?”
“Hm,” he nodded. “Well, both you and I don’t have the best track records for keeping relationships longer than a few weeks.”
He squeezed Khai’s hand in his, inching closer to him.
“And all I want is to never lose you, Khai. I need you in my life.”
Khai suddenly felt really emotional. “Me too. That’s why I didn’t want to confess but Two and Bone -”
“They told me,” Third interrupted. “But they were right to encourage you to do it.”
“Why?”
“Because it made me realize that I like you. As more than a friend.”
Third had always been really good at making Khai’s heart jump in his chest, but it had never been so strong.
Khai thought he was going to die, but he’d never let his body abandon him when the guy he loved just confessed to liking him.
“Is it real?” He whispered, his words all tangled in his throat.
“Well, yeah. But I was scared of losing you as a friend, so I never acted on it. But now it just feels dumb to both like each other and not do anything about it.”
Third got even closer than before, only a few inches from him.
“You have to promise me one thing, though, and I’ll do the same.”
“What is it?” His voice felt hoarse.
“No matter what happens with this, we’ll always go back to being friends. I need to know that this won’t send our friendship into an early grave.”
Khai beamed, nodding. “I promise.”
Third took his hand and shaped it in the form of a pinky swear. He took his own finger and placed it next to his, sealing the deal.
“I promise too.”
They were left in a deafening silent, feeling a little shy and awkward from the fact that they were basically dating now.
“So...” Third finally said. “Should we kiss, or what?”
They both laughed, before Khai took Third’s face in his palms. “Yeah, we should.”
During the many months that Khai had allowed himself to dream about Third’s lips on his, he had always reminded himself that it would probably never happen in real life. But it was. They were kissing now, lips soft and needy against each other.
When they had to stop for air, Khai’s chest felt lighter than it had ever been. Of all the mouths he had kissed, it had never felt as good as this time. Maybe it was because he was in love, for once. The great player was now a kept man.
Third, against him, looked breathless and blushing. He thought it would have felt weird, to kiss his best friend after years of friendship. After having seen him with so many girlfriends. But it didn’t.
Somehow, it all felt right.
“How do you feel?” Khai asked, having relaxed tremendously.
“I don’t think I have words to explain it,” Third smiled.
“Me neither,” he replied, kissing him again.