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so... here's the thing. lee jeno and na jaemin are not the sharpest tools in the shed. the brightest crayons in the box, if you might. they've been dating renjun for the better part of a year and not once... not once had either of them noticed that the literal fucking sparkles renjun leaves behind are not a figment of their own imaginations. no, their boyfriend is not so beautiful that the universe leaves behind sparkles in his wake. it's pixie dust. real life pixie dust. honestly, jeno and jaemin are struggling to compute the information because, outlandish as it may be, it makes sense.
"so, do you have like... wings? can you fly?" jaemin adds the head tilt for cinematic effect. consequently, renjun wants to punch him. renjun realises what they’re trying to do now -- play it off using humour and ignore it.
“yeah, junnie, and what about your ears? don’t pixies usually have pointy ears?” jeno giggles.
“for the love of god, i’m a fairy , not a fucking pixie.”
“you just called it ‘pixie dust’, smartass. doesn’t sound like a fairy to me!” jeno squawks indignantly, swatting at renjun’s tiny fists trying to jab at him from all directions. renjun might just give up, tell his boyfriends he was playing a practical joke on them and let them continue believing they’re imagining the sparkle he leaves behind that they so often tell him about.
“woah, woah! violence is never the answer, baby. what would ol’ peter think of that one?” renjun ignores jaemin and storms out. he hopes the pixie dust he leaves behind chokes them both, if not, he just might.
now, renjun isn’t full fairy. if he was, he would have pointy ears. no wings, though, only pixies have those. his father had lived in a rural chinese farming community as a child and returned as an adult to take it over. and that’s where he’d met his mother. renjun’s been told two different versions of the story of his parents meeting: the first being how his father had bravely ventured into the woods after hearing the calls of a ‘damsel in distress’ lost in the woods, and the second being that his mother had found his father in the middle of the woods, obviously lost, took a liking to the human, and guided him home. the second is much more likely to have happened than the first, his mother is an earth fairy after all. she was born in the woods surrounding his childhood home, and knew them like the back of her hands. he spent his childhood learning just how much of his mother’s genes he had inherited, often told that he definitely had beauty that even pure-breed fairies would be jealous of, and the wood nymphs also seemed to like him, so the conclusion was met that renjun was more fairy than he was human. and that was ok, until he got two pure-bred human boyfriends, both of whom had no previous knowledge of the supernatural world and were also too dull at the present time to understand what he, their boyfriend, was trying to tell them. even though renjun is frustrated with them, he can understand why they can’t quite grasp his news — if he didn’t have any knowledge on anything that he was trying to say, he’d be equally confused too. that doesn’t mean the pointy ear jokes don’t get to him a little bit, they do. more than a little bit actually, but that’s alright. renjun will get back at them for it later.
“okay, from the top. your mother is a fairy. she was born in the woods. she made friends with wood nymphs who are spirits that live in trees. they can talk. your mother does, in fact, have pointy ears. she doesn’t have wings, disappointing, i guess, but whatever. your father was a farmer who got lost in the woods and your mother helped him home, and things spiralled from there, yada yada, baby fairy renjun is born! without the pointy ears,” jaemin says, almost as if he’s reciting a script, “was that right? did i mess a line up anywhere?” jeno sniggers somewhere in the background but renjun can’t even see him, his vision is tunnelled on jaemin, he sees metaphorical red, and pounces. renjun launches himself at jaemin, knocks him flat on the couch and lands in his lap. on renjun’s part it’s not the most… dignified decision, jaemin is much bigger and stronger than he, and so he easily holds renjun’s fists which pound at his ribs away. renjun fights for a minute then relaxes, in his head he’s going for the false sense of security approach, but jaemin can read him like a book. he saves his strength for later use, renjun knows he’ll need to pull some strong revenge punches later, how many only depends on how many more pixie-jibes he has to deal with over the next few hours. renjun waits for jeno to pipe up, in his typical peacekeeper nature
“woah, woah, woah! junnie calm down, jaemin was just kidding. peace, love, and pixie dust, bro,”
renjun uses up all his strength in one fell swoop. jeno crumples to the ground, surrounded in a glittery cloud of white.
"you're sleeping on the couch tonight! both of you!" renjun wails and he doesn't even looking at his disheveled boyfriends on his march back to their bedroom. not today.