Work Text:
“So,” Sungwoon cleared his throat. “Valentine’s Day is coming up.”
They were supposed to be doing their Calculus homework and Daniel was, all besides the hand that kept rubbing Sungwoon’s thigh. It was innocent of course but it didn’t stop Sungwoon’s mind from wandering just a little bit (and knocking his concentration away from this silly math homework.)
Daniel squeezed his knee. “Yeah. Next next Thursday, right?”
Sungwoon’s smaller hand covered Daniel’s on his knee and he intertwined their fingers, subtly moving their hands away from Sungwoon’s thigh. “You know,” He began, and his thoughts continued to stutter out. “I was thinking about… stuff.”
As Daniel laughed, his eyes disappeared and his cute crooked smile beamed at Sungwoon. “I’m glad you have thoughts, babe.”
Sungwoon sucked his teeth. “I wasn’t finished. Anyway, I was thinking and maybe…” He looked at Daniel for a brief moment and then shyly whispered into his ear. “I think I’m ready.”
Daniel faced him so they were nose to nose with him staring earnestly into Sungwoon’s expressive eyes. “Really?”
Sungwoon lowered his gaze and felt the hammering of his heart in his rib cage. Nervous wouldn’t even begin to describe how he felt but Daniel raised his chin back up with a tap of his index finger.
“Look at me.” He called gently. “Do you really mean it? Because I don’t want you to feel pressured just because it’s Valentine’s Day. We can wait-.”
Sungwoon shook his head. “Do you want to?”
There was comfort in knowing the feeling was mutual and that was what Sungwoon was seeking.
The blonde boy’s lips hung open as a blush spread through his cheeks and over the bridge of his nose. “As long as you’re ready,” He said quietly, timidly. “I think I am. I want what you want and if you want me then I want you too, Sungwoon.”
A blossoming feeling of hope and desire fluttered in Sungwoon’s chest cavity as Daniel cupped his face. He leaned his cheek into his palm with a tiny smile. “You could have just said yes…”
“Yes.” Daniel breathed against Sungwoon’s lips but before they could properly seal the deal, the door to Daniel’s bedroom slammed open and in came the current bane of Sungwoon’s existence.
“Hyungnim! Mom wants to know if he’s staying for dinner!”
The harsh he was directed towards Sungwoon of course because Jihoon had quit addressing him with formalities much less his own name.
“That’s Sungwoon hyung to you, Jihoon.” Daniel corrected, fixing his sight over Sungwoon’s shoulder.
“Mhm.” Sungwoon could hear the eye roll without even looking at him. “Well is he?”
Sungwoon felt Daniel’s eyes boring into the side of his face. “Are you staying for dinner?”
If dinner consisted of just Daniel, his mother and his four cats Sungwoon would absolutely stay for dinner. But because Jihoon was included, which he always was, Sungwoon politely declined, not in the mood to dodge Jihoon’s disses.
Daniel whined like the puppy he was but accepted his declination. He walked Sungwoon down the stairs to the front door and clutched his hands within his bigger ones. “I’ll text you if I need help finishing the rest of Calc.”
“You’ll definitely need help.” Sungwoon smirked. Daniel paused midway from kissing Sungwoon’s hands and playfully nipped at his knuckles instead. “Down, boy.”
Daniel wrapped Sungwoon’s arms around his middle and did the same to the shorter boy. “I’ll see you tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day.” He punctuated each sentence with a sweet press of their lips that left Sungwoon woozy.
In the corner of Sungwoon’s eye, while still trapped in Daniel’s hold, he saw Jihoon peeking around the wall of the dining room. When they made eye contact, Jihoon’s eyebrows inverted like an angry bird and he quickly vanished from sight. Had Sungwoon known that was an indication of how the rest of the week would sum up to, he would have surrendered right then and there.
Sungwoon and Daniel were the definition of high school sweethearts. They met in the middle of their sophomore year through mutual friends and after a few months of pining Sungwoon officially asked for Daniel’s varsity jacket to which Daniel handed over in such a haste the sleeve smacked Sungwoon in the face.
This current February marked their two year anniversary which provided Sungwoon with an incentive as to why he should really consider locking it down with Daniel. Besides the frequent makeouts and occasional (and experimental) touches, Sungwoon and Daniel had never done it. It came up in conversation every once in a blue moon but they both had decided to set it aside until the right moment.
It came to Sungwoon in the form of a wet dream one night and for a week straight, all he could think about was hiding it from Daniel. It was embarrassing for the most part but it also enlightened him on his true feelings for his sweetheart.
Nothing much got in their way the past two years until recently. When Jihoon turned ten. It seemed the double digits hit the little boy with a vengeance and said vengeance was exercised on Sungwoon.
“But why does your brother have to come...?”
Sungwoon eyed his boyfriend’s younger brother tiredly. The little boy’s visuals were otherworldly but it did nothing for his spiteful personality. Plus, Jihoon was, simply put- clingy.
“I can’t leave him alone! He’ll be so sad!” Daniel released Sungwoon’s hand and put Jihoon in a mild headlock and ruffled his hair. The ten year old wrinkled his nose like a little rabbit and tried to fend off his older brother’s strength.
Sungwoon quietly sighed as his hand lay forgotten by his side. Lately it was always like this. Daniel, Sungwoon and Jihoon. Wherever they went, Jihoon asked to tag along. If they denied his request, he would cry until Daniel gave in. Daniel was weak towards Sungwoon but even weaker towards his little bro. Quite frankly it bothered the hell out of Sungwoon. Especially when Jihoon interrupted their alone time.
As busy seniors in high school, the only time they spent together in school was during lunch which they spent with their other friends as well, and during their shared calculus class which was really Sungwoon memorizing the entire lesson so he could reteach Daniel afterwards. Therefore, any alone time they had after school was even more sacred, especially since they were in the winter off season and Daniel wasn’t needed for baseball practice.
Sungwoon tucked his hands into the pockets of his puffer coat and complained to himself internally for the duration of the walk to the movie theater. Their group of friends had planned to see the new horror flick about girls who killed pizza boys and Sungwoon had been excited to spend a majority of the movie with Daniel cuddled into his side.
As it turned out, Jihoon was the one who received all the cuddles from his older brother when the younger boy cowered in fear at the film. The only action Sungwoon got was when Daniel mistook his slushee for his own and they shared an indirect kiss. The movie wasn’t even that scary but what was to be expected when the older brother was just as chicken shit.
“Thanks for worrying about me in there.” Sungwoon commented sarcastically as they merged with the crowd to exit the theater.
Daniel pulled at Sungwoon’s crossed arms until he could steal his hand. “I never have to worry about you. You’re the one who protects me!”
Sungwoon said nothing and looked away with a stale expression. Their friend group disbursed into smaller units and with Sungwoon and Daniel came Jisung who for at least ten minutes was able to distract Jihoon.
Out of earshot, Daniel slipped his arm around Sungwoon’s shoulder and playfully pulled at the shorter’s knit black beanie. It slipped down beneath Sungwoon’s eyebrow and he grunted as he fixed it back.
“Let’s drop Jihoon off back home and go to the coin karaoke.”
Sungwoon peered up at Daniel in interest and dropped his arms back down to his side. “Okay.”
A smirk creeped onto Daniel’s face and he squeezed Sungwoon’s shoulder as he looked off into the distance.
“Let’s go to the coin karaoke” held the same connotation as “let’s eat ramen” for Sungwoon and Daniel. It’s where they went not only to sing some half assed songs but to makeout and feel each other up in a dingy room without the disturbance of other people. It was the only other place besides Daniel’s room because there was no way in hell they could fool around at Sungwoon’s house. His grandfather would personally deliver him to the army barracks. Both of them.
“Where are you going, hyungnim?” Jihoon asked when he realized Daniel wasn’t entering the house with him.
“I’ll be back later, Jihoon. We’re gonna get dinner.”
The ten year old toed at the threshold of the door. His expression turned pitiful very quickly and Sungwoon hoped Daniel wouldn’t give in.
Luck was on his side that night.
“I can’t come with you…?”
Daniel reached into the doorway and poked his brother’s forehead. “Another time, kiddo.”
Throughout the entire exchange Sungwoon had not said a word; careful not to let his inner joy slip out. However, Jihoon still managed to level him with a hard stare when Daniel bent down to fix his shoelaces. It was Sungwoon’s mistake allowing a smirk to grace his features as Daniel closed the door on Jihoon. That smirk would end up costing him a lot more than it was worth.
Apart from school and homework and all the mundane tasks of daily life, Sungwoon and Daniel tried to always squeeze in a weekly date. Saturdays were usually available for the both of them so that’s when they took their romantic excursions. Not every week was the most romantic, however. Sometimes it was just ordering an extra large pizza and having a movie marathon in Daniel’s living room while other times they put in effort to get dressed and go out.
The Han River, although a beautiful spot to watch the sunset, was an icy, freezing, bad location to hang out in the dead of Winter. Luckily, Sungwoon thought ahead and brought out his full body puffer jacket with the Eskimo hood.
“I’m warm.”
“Me too.”
Sungwoon glanced at his boyfriend whose shoulders were up to his ears. Even with the knit scarf wrapped around the lower half of his face Sungwoon knew Daniel was freezing. He shuffled in closer to the shivering boy and gave him a hug, pulling him in as tight as his arms would let him.
“I told you to wear your other jacket.”
Daniel said nothing, only closed his eyes and dropped his almost frostbitten face into the top of Sungwoon’s hood.
“Let’s go if you’re too cold.”
Sungwoon felt Daniel’s nose rub back and forth against his head as he shook his head. “No.” He mumbled.
“So we’re just going to sit here until you turn into a popsicle?”
Daniel chuckled and the rumble of his laughter made Sungwoon smile. He felt his lips crack at the intense cold and tried to press warmth into his lips before deciding to pull Daniel’s scarf down and kiss him instead. Their lips met briefly with their cold noses slightly bumping into each other and then Sungwoon angled his face to the right going in for Daniel’s plump bottom lip. Daniel sighed at the warmth being passed onto him and swiped his tongue into Sungwoon’s mouth.
“Are we still on?” Daniel asked breathily as their faces hovered near.
“For what?” Sungwoon was partially dazed and frankly too lazy to reach back into his mind to figure out what Daniel meant.
“You know,” Daniel pecked his lips softly. “Valentine’s Day…”
“Oh.”
Of course Sungwoon had not forgotten. It’s just that the thought made him shy although he’d been the one to suggest it.
Worry flooded Daniel’s gaze. “You don’t want to anymore?”
Sungwoon backed up and faced the half frozen river. “Um.”
“We don’t have to. If you changed your mind it’s-”
“I’m just shy!” Sungwoon admitted abruptly and tucked his fingertips into his coat sleeves. “I’m just shy, Daniel. I do… want to… with you.”
All that could be heard was the quiet howling of the wind whipping through the bare trees around them. Sungwoon glanced at Daniel to gauge his reaction and fittingly, Daniel’s cheekbones were raising higher and higher as he bit back a huge smile. Feeling Sungwoon’s questioning stare on him, Daniel peeked over through his peripherals and hid his chuckles behind his scarf.
“What is it?”
Daniel cleared his throat and looked out at the horizon. “Nothing.”
“Tell me.” Sungwoon implored although he should have read his boyfriend better.
With a small giggle and a sniffle, Daniel leaned over to Sungwoon’s ear. “You wanna see me naked?”
Sungwoon exhaled torturously and let the furious red blush mar his cheeks because he couldn’t stop it from happening anyway. He remembered his illusive wet dream and couldn’t deny how correct Daniel really was.
“I’m going to throw you into the lake.” He said instead as Daniel proudly laughed at his ability to fluster the smaller boy. “Let’s go. Don’t want your private parts to freeze over before the big day.”
Daniel doubled over in laughter and Sungwoon couldn’t help but laugh with him. The only way out of embarrassment was to laugh it off. Good thing that’s what Daniel was best at.
“Daniel, this math project is due in two days! We have to get serious about it.”
“I know, but Jihoon has been asking me to take him to get this comic book all day. It won’t take long. Promise!”
Sungwoon sighed and let his eyes roam around his living room stressfully. (They weren’t allowed in Sungwoon’s room unsupervised.) “I guess…”
Daniel tossed his book bag over his shoulder in a haste and squeezed Sungwoon’s shoulder. “I’ll be back in a little!”
Time continued to pass as Sungwoon adjusted numbers and calculations for their project. Eventually he stopped looking at the clock and gazing towards the door. The later it became the less chance Sungwoon’s grandfather would allow Daniel to come back. What bothered Sungwoon the most was that Daniel knew his grandfather’s rule yet he still had made no effort to update Sungwoon.
Sighing into his dinner, Sungwoon shook his head. He started texting Daniel a stale message beneath the table when an incoming message arrived.
Niel
Woonie its taking a little longer than I expected
Yeah, no kidding, Sungwoon thought. It had been over two hours since Daniel left.
Niel
I told Jihoon we were working on that calc project and he insisted I relieve some stress by spending time with him. Cute right?
Sungwoon exhaled, controlling his anger. You big idiot, he wanted to say. This was Jihoon forcing Sungwoon to do all the work by himself. There was nothing cute or innocent about it.
Niel
I guess you must be busy :( Don’t do all the work! Leave some for me!
The constant buzzing of Sungwoon’s phone did not fall deaf on his grandfather’s ears and he was reprimanded for neglecting his dinner. He locked his phone and hid it beneath his thigh, missing the last text that Daniel sent. Anyhow, Sungwoon was a little upset with his boyfriend so after dinner he turned off his phone and finished more than 75% of the project by himself. Jihoon could steal his boyfriend and make him work alone but he couldn’t take away a well deserved grade. That’s for sure.
The next morning as Sungwoon was fixing his tie at his locker the fresh smell of light cologne swept his nostrils and he was met with the solemn face of a tall blonde boy.
“You didn’t text back last night.”
And Daniel was correct. Lying down in bed a little after 9:30 was when Sungwoon turned his phone on again. Awaiting him was another text from Daniel asking if he was mad at him. The answer to the question was yes. Sungwoon wanted to say he was mad at him but more annoyed with his little brother who didn’t know how to butt out. However, overthinking his words, he decided to give Jihoon the benefit of the doubt; he was still little after all. Not that he wasn’t aware of his actions but he wasn’t clear on the consequences they had. Yet again, Sungwoon hoped it would all blow over by itself.
“I just- uh. I fell asleep.” Sungwoon lied. He knew if he told the truth and admitted to ignoring Daniel it would hurt his feelings. “After working on our project.”
“Oh.” Daniel said as his eyes swept the floor. “So you’re not mad at me?”
Sungwoon fiddled with his tie for a few quiet seconds. “Of course not.” He smiled up at his big goofy boyfriend and felt his smile genuinely grow bigger at the look of relief on the other’s face.
Daniel straightened up and held out his varsity jacket. “If you’re not mad at me, put this on.”
“What does me not being mad at you have anything to do with wearing your varsity jacket?”
“It makes me feel better about myself?”
Sungwoon laughed and pushed his arms through the sleeves of the jacket anyway. He got lost in it, Daniel being wider and taller than he was, but it was warm and smelled like Daniel.
“Happy?” He asked, holding out his arms.
Daniel grinned widely and leaned against the lockers. “Very.”
“You always pick the game I’m not good at.” Daniel whined, stomping his bare feet on the insulated floors of his living room.
After school video games were a must on those odd days they weren’t assigned loads of homework.
Sungwoon stretched his legs and comfortably leaned into the couch. “Well when you win rock, paper, scissors you can choose a game I’m not good at. Until then, tough!”
Daniel grunted and gripped the game controller between his hands somberly.
Sungwoon loved teasing Daniel. The pinched face, disgruntled attitude, hunched over defensive position. It was adorable that he was all bark and no bite. Sungwoon reached over and threaded his fingers through the back of Daniel’s scalp lovingly earning an annoyed look from the taller boy.
“You enjoy this too much.”
Sungwoon giggled. “I do.” He let his hand fall down Daniel’s back and wound his arm around the other’s waist, scooting in to cling to him and rest his chin on Daniel’s shoulder.
“I bet this is another tactic to distract me.” Daniel mumbled as Mario Kart loaded on screen. He stretched his arm up and around Sungwoon to switch their positions. Sungwoon leaned into Daniel’s body and rested his elbow on Daniel’s thigh. He let his charming dimpled smile and sparkly eyes stare up at Daniel.
Daniel peered down at him from the corner of his eye. “Ugh. Why are you so cute?!” He stressfully groaned before attacking Sungwoon’s thick lips with his own.
Sungwoon lavished in the attention and smiled into the kiss. This was why he loved Daniel. Because of his impulsiveness and need to care for others. For being every bit romantic when Sungwoon lacked in that category. For his tenderness but sometimes rough around the edges personality. He was everything Sungwoon asked for, including handsomeness.
Too bad he came with baggage.
“Ew, hyungnim!”
There he was. Like a thorn in Sungwoon’s ass. A storm cloud to Sungwoon’s sunshine.
“What are you guys playing? I want to play too!”
Jihoon wedged himself between Sungwoon and Daniel uninvited, literally pulling them apart and elbowing Sungwoon to the side.
“Jihoon!” Daniel scolded. “If you’re not going to behave you can’t play with us. Watch your manners.”
Jihoon seemed a bit shaken by the force in his older brother’s voice and sat up rigidly. Without having to be told, he apologized to Sungwoon even using ‘hyung’. Sungwoon eyed Daniel over the top of the ten year old’s head and Daniel mouthed ‘sorry’. Sungwoon shook his head good-naturedly. He was in a good mood that day and was not going to let Jihoon deter him.
They played a different racing game at Jihoon’s request; one that he felt overly confident in until Sungwoon continuously beat him to first place. Rematch after rematch after rematch yet Jihoon could not defend his pride against Sungwoon who honestly, and secretly, found tons of joy watching the young boy grow red in the face.
“This is not fair!” Jihoon cried and Sungwoon could sense the telltale signs of an upcoming temper tantrum. “Hyungnim, tell him to stop! He’s not being nice!”
Daniel chuckled to himself and patted Jihoon’s thigh. “Babe, take it easy on him. He’s just a kid.”
Sungwoon relented and let Jihoon take first place for about three rounds before smoking him in the last lap and regaining his number one stance.
Jihoon puffed his cheeks out and exhaled through his mouth, throwing himself back against the couch, making sure to hit Sungwoon in the knee with his remote control accidentally.
“I want a snack. Hyungnim, can I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, please?”
The affection and sweetness that poured out from the ten year old almost had Sungwoon fooled. After Daniel had fallen for his kid brother’s charms and happily obliged him by skipping into the kitchen, Jihoon turned to Sungwoon coldly.
“You’re a nerd.” He said suddenly with a leer. “Hyungnim deserves someone cooler than you. And your lips are too big.”
Sungwoon stared at the evil child in full-blown shock. It was so unexpected he couldn’t mask the effect Jihoon’s words had on him. Daniel returned at that moment with a happy comment about eating lunch with his favorite guys and Jihoon snapped back into his adorable baby brother persona before Sungwoon could defend himself.
“Thanks, hyungnim! You’re the best!” Jihoon threw his arms around Daniel and pressed his face into his chest all while leveling Sungwoon with a hidden smirk.
For the rest of the evening, Jihoon’s words echoed in Sungwoon’s mind no matter how hard he tried to will them away. Daniel noticed how quiet Sungwoon had gotten but Sungwoon blamed it on being tired. Thankfully Daniel didn’t press him too much and accepted his response with a brief peck to his forehead. If only Sungwoon could brush off his sudden bout of self-consciousness as easily.
“Oh, you’re here.”
Daniel’s face was an obvious shade of red when Sungwoon appeared at Daniel’s doorstep. Sungwoon could just about hear the erratic drumming of Daniel’s heart when he stepped closer.
“I’m here.” Sungwoon replied timidly and awkwardly. “Are you going to let me in?” He asked when Daniel just stood there with his hands squeezing the door frame.
“Oh!” Daniel fumbled about before stepping away from the door.
Sungwoon toed off his shoes and neatly slid them over to the corner. “Stop being so obvious.”
“I’m not!”
At Daniel’s indignant squawk Sungwoon giggled. As a basis to preparing themselves for their big romantic evening they had decided to study some techniques. Teenage boys weren’t estranged to porn but watching together was something new, albeit exhilarating too. The idea was birthed randomly, as a joke one day while they were walking home but the more they discussed it the more the idea became plausible.
Using the well fitted “we need to watch this film for school” excuse, Daniel’s mom had granted them enough time in which she would make sure Jihoon didn’t storm in and demand attention. Sungwoon felt a tad guilty deceiving her in order to watch sexual videos with her son but lying to your parents occasionally was prewritten in the teenager code of conduct.
“Your face is completely blushed. If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were doing naughty things already.”
“Shh! My mom is in the kitchen!” Daniel flailed his arms and peeked over his shoulder. He pointed his fingers towards his room upstairs and they fled the hall for some privacy.
Daniel shut the door behind Sungwoon who tossed himself onto Daniel’s bed and made himself comfortable with his head on the taller’s pillow. The scent of his boyfriend was endearing as it was intoxicating, and the tenderness of his mattress was ever more relaxing.
“Did you finish your homework?” Daniel locked his door and sat at his desk chair. There were opened textbooks and sheets of notebook paper scattered around his work area.
Sungwoon propped his right leg over his left knee and folded his hands over his stomach. “No. I couldn’t really focus.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
Daniel sucked his teeth bashfully and rubbed at his neck. “How did you get past your grandfather?”
“I lied.” Sungwoon said honestly with a sigh. “I showed him yesterday’s homework.”
“Ooh, a bad boy. How can I resist?” Daniel giggled with his eyes scrunching up adorably.
“How are we doing this?”
Daniel exhaled through his mouth and reached behind him for his phone. He unlocked it and walked over to kneel on his bed next to Sungwoon. “Well, I found some stuff…”
“So you were doing stuff before I got here!”
“No I wasn’t!” Daniel switched from sitting on his knees to sitting on his behind and gave Sungwoon his back. “I was just… going through some of my… personal faves to find something we could watch…”
There was something arousing about knowing that Daniel was exploring his collection just before Sungwoon arrived. Something that made Sungwoon wonder what else made Daniel get off besides the minimal touching they did. It was a new feeling of curiosity; both nerve-racking and exhilarating.
“Did you find anything good?” Sungwoon asked lowly. He pushed himself up and let his hand stroke Daniel’s broad back.
“A few things…” Daniel showed Sungwoon the thumbnail of a video with two men making lewd facial expressions. Sungwoon’s eyes went wide. It struck down the confidence that he had built up in the last few minutes- that’s for sure. “What do you think?”
“Um.” Sungwoon gulped.
Daniel turned to him and his nose almost grazed Sungwoon’s cheek. “If you don’t feel comfortable…”
Ever the gentleman Daniel was. The corners of Sungwoon’s mouth lifted slightly. “Nothing is uncomfortable with you.”
Sungwoon watched a smile bloom on Daniel’s face and he took the headphone that was handed to him. They angled themselves so they were leaning against the wall in the corner with their legs kicked out before them. Sungwoon rested his back against Daniel’s chest and contemplated setting one hand in Daniel’s lap but prior to making that decision there were lips on his cheek, traveling down to his jawline and then neck.
“Hey. You’re not paying attention.” Sungwoon protested although there was nothing too explicit going on in the video yet.
Daniel mouthed at the column of Sungwoon’s neck. “We can make this interactive.”
Sungwoon met him halfway, slotting their lips together and letting Daniel pull at his bottom lip gently.
“Your lips are so soft.”
Your lips are too thick.
Sungwoon pulled away. He nibbled on his bottom lip as his attention diverted to the carpeted floor.
“What’s wrong?”
Sungwoon debated spilling his most recent insecurities to Daniel. He didn’t want to kill the moment but he was triggered when Daniel complimented his lips. Sungwoon always believed his lips were one of his best features but according to Jihoon maybe not.
“Do you think my lips are too big?” He meekly inquired.
Daniel’s gaze popped down to Sungwoon’s lips then traveled upwards to meet his solemn expression.
“You have the most irresistibly kissable lips. Here I’ll show you.” He planted a tender yet firm kiss on Sungwoon’s mouth. “See? Totally kissable.”
Sungwoon leaned back with a small laugh. There was clearance on that one but what about being a nerd?
“What?! How are you a nerd! Who told you that?” Sungwoon diverted his gaze. The video that was playing on Daniel’s phone had been forgotten and breathy moans slipped through the headphones. “Sungwoon, who told you that?”
Sungwoon contemplated not telling him. As much as Jihoon’s words had put a dent in Sungwoon’s steel mind, he didn’t want to cause problems between the two brothers. At the same time, however, Daniel was giving him a chance to air out his dirty laundry.
“Don’t get mad,” Sungwoon started with which of course did nothing to diminish Daniel’s rising anger. “Last week… it was Jihoon.”
Daniel’s eyebrows shot up his forehead. “Jihoon said that to you?”
Sungwoon pressed his lips together and nodded. Gauging Daniel’s serious reaction, he started to regret saying anything.
“But-”
Daniel cut him off with a shake of his head. “I’ll speak to him about this. He’s been out of hand with you lately. It’s unacceptable.” He pressed his hand against Sungwoon’s cheek. “I’m sorry. Don’t believe anything he said. You’re perfect.”
Honestly, Sungwoon was surprised Daniel had taken it so well and was quick to defend him. Glad that he noticed how Jihoon had been behaving lately too. Seeing that defensive side of Daniel made Sungwoon a little giddy and brightened his mood, allowing him to put aside his feelings of insecurity.
“Thanks. We can continue now.” He said with a sultry bat of his lashes, handing Daniel an earbud and laying his hand on his upper thigh.
Daniel grinned and raised the volume on the video as Sungwoon leaned in to kiss him.
But of course Jihoon couldn’t let Sungwoon win…
“What?”
Sungwoon dropped his textbook into his locker and accidentally squished the triangle kimbap he forgot he had left in there. When he asked Daniel why he’d been acting weird all day this was not what he expected. In retrospect, he should have known.
“Jihoon said you called him a pig. Like he’s fat like one.”
This was beyond Sungwoon’s imagination. Otherworldly. In what universe would he savagely insult his boyfriend’s little brother? The extent of Jihoon’s lie had Sungwoon flabbergasted.
Daniel awkwardly scratched the back of his head. “When I asked him why he said those things to you he said you called him a pig.”
“Daniel, I would never!”
Sungwoon knew then for certain that telling Daniel what Jihoon had said to him had been a mistake. It backfired when Sungwoon had done nothing wrong in the first place. What made matters worse was the tiny look of doubt buried in Daniel’s gaze. Sungwoon could see that he was conflicted on whom to believe. It annoyed Sungwoon that he once again was painted as a villain and Daniel couldn’t see past it.
“Yeah, I-I know you wouldn’t, but- I don’t know.” Daniel shook his head tiredly. “Whatever is going on between you two- I just want you to get along.”
Sungwoon glared into his locker before throwing the door shut. How much more of this could he endure before he exploded?
On a very rare Friday night when Daniel’s mom was out at a work dinner and Jihoon was at a friend’s house, Sungwoon found himself pinned beneath his boyfriend atop his very comfortable bed.
“Can I ask you something?” Sungwoon panted lightly as their lips detached for a second. Their noses rubbed against each other as Daniel nodded. “Do you think about me when you watch porn?”
A question that had pinned itself to Sungwoon’s mind since that one interesting evening of fun.
Daniel, who was straddling Sungwoon, sat up and caged his arms around Sungwoon’s head on his pillow. “Would it upset you if I said yes all the time?”
Sungwoon’s gaze turned sensual as he tucked one arm behind his head and lifted his other hand to Daniel’s bare torso. “Not at all.”
With a satisfied grin, Daniel ducked down and pressed his mouth to Sungwoon’s heatedly. He licked into his mouth as Sungwoon caressed his abdomen encouragingly.
“Maybe we should… slow down,” Sungwoon chuckled. At this rate their plan for Valentine’s Day would become tonight’s event.
Daniel smiled into the kiss and pushed Sungwoon’s shirt up, wiggling his fingers against the shorter’s belly. “Whatever you wan-”
“Hyungnim! I’m home!”
The bedroom door banged open suddenly giving Sungwoon and Daniel immediate heart attacks. Daniel was the first to react and given their current position, Sungwoon was unsure who was scarred the most.
“Jihoon!” Daniel panicked when the ten year old averted his gaze and almost tripped on his own feet in his haste to leave the room. “Jihoon!” He called again but this time adjusted his sweatpants and went after the little boy.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Sungwoon mumbled to the empty room.
What more could Sungwoon have expected honestly. It didn’t matter if he and Daniel were smack dab in the middle of intimacy or if they were baking cookies. Jihoon would always interrupt them and Daniel would always give in.
Feeling ridiculously turned off and agitated, Sungwoon sat up and roughly adjusted his clothes. He brushed the back of his hand against his mouth and pressed a tensed palm to his forehead in an attempt to control his anger.
“Okay, I calmed him down,” Daniel laughed leisurely, reentering his bedroom. “He was a little spooked but I- where are you going?”
Sungwoon couldn’t stand to be there any longer much less listen to Daniel excuse his little brother for the umpteenth time so he snatched his bookbag and pushed past Daniel, deliberately bumping shoulders. “I’m going home.” He stated with grave finality which left nothing but a shocked and disappointed look on Daniel’s face.
It’s was a big deal when Sungwoon’s grandfather noticed slight differences in his everyday environment that didn’t pertain to his farm or field. If Sungwoon’s aunt dyed her hair a new color it would take weeks for him to notice. If Sungwoon wore the same blue sweater for a week straight his grandfather would never even realize it. When Sungwoon spent the entirety of his Saturday in his room alone, his grandfather noticed.
“Why are you still in here? Its four in the afternoon. Where’s your companion?”
Companion was his old school way of saying Daniel. It was an unwritten rule that everyone knew; Saturday’s were for Sungwoon and Daniel. Sungwoon’s grandfather knew as much because when they first started dating and Sungwoon was constantly on field duty, Daniel would always show up and go above and beyond what they needed to do. Whether it was to impress Sungwoon or his grandfather it wasn’t clear but it still did the trick. He was never turned away, except when it was past curfew because Sungwoon’s grandfather was protective of his little cloud.
“I’m just taking some time for myself, grandfather.”
The little old man stood at the door frame of Sungwoon’s bedroom and stared at his teenage grandson. “You two would never spend time away from each other even if I prohibited it.” Sungwoon did not take his gaze off the white ceiling. “Whatever it is, stop moping around and fix it. You’re from the Ha clan. We don’t sulk.”
With that bit of rough advice, Sungwoon’s grandfather returned to his field. It’s not that they were fighting per se, but they hadn’t spoken to each other since Sungwoon stormed out of Daniel’s house. Daniel had sent quite a few messages that stopped after his good morning text also went ignored. Unlike before, Sungwoon wanted him to know how upset he was. It bothered Sungwoon enough to not let him sleep peacefully and force him to be drowsy all day. After a day of silence, however, and Sungwoon had still not fully forgiven him, his need to be with and talk to Daniel overpowered everything else. That was love after all.
Taking pride in his family name, Sungwoon reached over to his nightstand and palmed around for his phone. He sent Daniel a message without thinking too much about it and waited.
Sungwoon
What are you up to..
Daniel
Grocery shopping w/ mom..
I got you the jellies you like..
Sungwoon
You mean the ones that you buy for me but end up eating by yourself?
Daniel
I’ll share them with you this time :(
What are you doing?
Sungwoon
Staring at the ceiling
It’s cold
Daniel
Go burrito style with your blanket.
Next best thing besides my hugs..
Come over tomorrow
Sungwoon
Okay
Before Sungwoon got to type out I love you Daniel texted again with a sentence that made Sungwoon deflate.
Daniel
We’re gonna help Jihoon make valentines for his class
Sungwoon would consider that very cute had it not been Jihoon. Sungwoon was at wits end with the ten year old.
Sungwoon
Oh
Daniel
And I wanna see you :(
Sungwoon laid his phone on his chest and groaned. All hard feelings that began to build up at the mention of Jihoon softened.
Sungwoon
Okay I’ll help
Daniel
:D
The living room coffee table in Daniel’s house the next day was littered with a variety of crafts: paper, glue, markers, crayons, stickers- and hearts everywhere. They were on a mission to handcraft valentines for fifteen children and Jihoon was determined to beat everyone (surprise there) in making the nicest ones.
“Hyungnim, cut this for me!”
“Sungwoon hyung, that’s too much blue!”
“Everything needs to be perfect!”
Sungwoon and Daniel found out the hard way that Jihoon was a craftzilla. Nothing was good enough for him even if he made it himself which prompted Sungwoon to wrongly ask if they could just buy a premade pack of cards from the store.
Jihoon ripped a paper heart in half and threw it at him. Perhaps Sungwoon should have taken that as a forewarning.
“Okay. I’m going to see what we can have as a snack.” Daniel announced, standing up. “Because I need a break.” He mumbled as an afterthought.
Sungwoon wanted to go with him but he was halfway through cutting fifteen identical sets of people stencils and he didn’t want Jihoon to blow up again. It stayed relatively silent as Jihoon colored in a paper person until he disappeared and came back with Sungwoon’s shoe to use as a model for his drawing. Everything was fine until Sungwoon chanced a glance at the little boy and did a double take.
“What are you doing?!”
Jihoon jumped at the sudden yell and righted the bottle of glue in his hands. Sungwoon dropped the scissors, snatched the glue from him and tossed it onto the table. He reached passed Jihoon and inspected the damage done to his white sneaker. The inside sole was filled with white glue and pieces of construction paper.
“Why would you do this, Jihoon?!” Sungwoon was yelling at the top of his lungs. Every ounce of anger that he had harbored within the last few weeks came seeping out. No longer did he care that Jihoon was only a kid; he could only see red. “You’re not going to pay for new ones and neither is Daniel! What is wrong with you?!”
Just as Jihoon began to cry Daniel ran into the room. “What is going on in here?” His only view was of his little brother sinking into himself with a tear stricken face and his boyfriend shaking a shoe at him angrily.
“He put glue in my sneaker, Daniel!” Sungwoon roared and bounced to his feet. “Thank goodness I have these slippers but what the hell were you thinking?!”
“He’s just a kid, Sungwoon! Why are you yelling at him like that? It was probably an accident, right?” Daniel looked to Jihoon with so much hope and expectation willing him to admit it was an accident. Sungwoon boiled over with anger not only towards Jihoon but Daniel too.
“It wasn’t! Why can’t you see how bad he is?” Sungwoon begged. “He’s a mischievous little brat who obviously doesn’t want us together!”
“If you keep treating him like this maybe I don’t want us to be together!”
Sungwoon was stunned into silence. Never in their two years together had either said something as bold and hurtful as that. Taken aback, he stared at Daniel with a hard gaze until Daniel cut his eyes heatedly and glared into the distance.
“Fine.” Sungwoon replied tight lipped when Daniel did nothing to take back what he said. His resigned tone of voice garnered Daniel’s attention. “If that’s what you want.”
Picking up his coat and leaving behind his destroyed sneaker, Sungwoon headed straight out the door with no plans of returning.
Monday morning, Sungwoon left Daniel’s varsity jacket in his locker. Tuesday afternoon, Daniel walked home by himself. Wednesday it snowed and neither had fun playing in it alone. Thursday was Valentine’s Day.
“Hyungnim, why do you keep looking over there?”
Daniel’s eyes darted to the right. “I’m not looking at anything.”
“Sungwoon hyung is over there.” Jihoon noted. “Are you looking at him?”
“No.”
“You look like you miss him.”
“I don’t.”
“You keep staring at him.”
“Well- Jihoon-” Daniel stuttered and threw his hands up in exasperation. “How can I not look at him?” He’s too beautiful, Daniel thought and crossed his arms as if Sungwoon had committed a crime.
The Valentine’s Day school dance, a place for high school sweethearts and blossoming crushes to dance the night away beneath pink lights and heart confetti. Only Daniel wasn’t there with his sweetheart but his little brother who was there because their mom was a chaperone. Seeing that Daniel ultimately did pick Jihoon over Sungwoon, Daniel knew he deserved the cold shoulder he was receiving. He didn’t have many regrets in his life but betraying Sungwoon was his biggest.
“I thought you didn’t like him anymore.” Jihoon continued, playing with the pink ribbon of his cardigan sweater.
“You don’t stop loving someone just because you break up, Jihoon. It’s more complicated than that.”
His little brother sure knew how to hit a nerve.
“Hyungnim?” Daniel grunted in response as he caught himself staring again. “I have a confession.”
“What is it?” Daniel asked absentmindedly. Sungwoon had made eye contact from across the room and Daniel was trying to silently convey both his love and regret.
Jihoon cleared his throat and peered up at his older brother apprehensively. “I put glue in his shoes on purpose, and that’s why he yelled at me.”
It took a second for Daniel to digest what he was talking about but when he did, he looked down at Jihoon with a mildly crazy look in his eyes.
“You... what?”
Images of all the times Daniel had slightly doubted Sungwoon for suggesting that Jihoon was anything but a good boy floated across his mind and he instantly felt like the biggest jerkoff.
Jihoon clasped his hands together in forgiveness. “I’m sorry!”
“Jihoon!” Daniel cried in despair, clutching the back of his head. “We broke up! Because of that stupid stunt! Why would you do that?”
“You spend so much time with him and not me and I just wanted to prank him but he got really mad. I swear I don’t hate him. I’m sorry! You’re going to college soon and I won’t have you anymore.”
Daniel covered his eyes with the palm of his hands. “Oh my god, Jihoon.”
The little boy looked rightfully ashamed. He buried his hands within the sleeves of his cardigan and kept his gaze towards the floor. “Hyungnim I’m sorry.”
Daniel sighed frustratedly. “How do I get him back?”
Sungwoon had no real desire to be at the school dance but the tugging of his heartstrings led him there anyway. A small hope that the romantic atmosphere would bring him and Daniel back together. Perhaps Cupid would lend them a helping hand and-
“Jihoon?”
“Hyungnim!”
The teary eyed ten year old came running into Sungwoon. He told him that he lost his brother and couldn’t find his mom so he had been wandering around the school gym in search of someone he recognized. It just so happened to be Sungwoon he ran into of all the people that knew the younger boy.
“Will you help me find my brother, please?”
Looking down at the pink cheeked child in his cream cardigan Sungwoon wondered if the devil took a break to play Cupid for a night. With not much of a choice, Sungwoon took Jihoon’s hand and went in search of Daniel.
“Hyungnim! He’s over there!”
They walked over to the other side of the room where Daniel was busy entertaining a group of freshmen girls.
Sungwoon nudged Jihoon forward and cleared his throat loudly. “Does this belong to you?” He said in his most uninterested voice.
Daniel’s eyes shot open in surprise first at seeing Sungwoon right in front of him but then at Jihoon.
“Where did you go? I thought mom was going to kill me!”
Jihoon rushed forward and hugged Daniel’s waist. “I got lost but Sungwoon hyung found me!”
Daniel bit his lip and kept an arm around his younger brother. “Thanks.”
Sungwoon pressed his lips together and nodded. It seemed Daniel had no intention of speaking to him any further so he curtly nodded again and pivoted in the direction he came from. “Okay. I’m leaving.”
“Wait!”
At Daniel’s panic stricken voice Sungwoon stopped and turned to him but Daniel only stared as his mouth opened and closed foolishly.
“He’s sorry!” Jihoon blurted out, stepping in for his brother much to Sungwoon’s surprise. Sungwoon hadn’t expected any apology from the little troublemaker. He’d gotten what he wanted even if he broke a few hearts along the way.
“Hyungnim is really sorry, and so am I. Even more than him.” The ten year old’s big eyes filled with regret as he glanced at the floor. Taking a deep breath he continued. “He wants to say that he misses you so much he could die. I’m a bad brother, but hyungnim is great! You know that!” Jihoon wound his hands together almost pleadingly. “You guys love each other. I’m sorry I got in the way.”
Through Jihoon’s sympathetic speech, Sungwoon’s gaze shifted from the younger brother to the older brother. Sungwoon also missed Daniel so much he could die. Now that he knew the feeling was mutual it wasn’t as hurtful but more beautiful that two nineteen year olds could feel that deeply.
“Do you really mean that?” Sungwoon looked directly at Daniel.
Daniel held his gaze for three seconds before glancing down at his little brother and eagerly nodding his head. “He does.” Jihoon answered, serving as his mouthpiece.
Sungwoon cracked a heartfelt smile and stepped closer to Daniel. The taller automatically reached for his hands. “Let’s talk.”
They stepped outside for a moment of clarity in the chilly evening; Sungwoon’s palm warm in Daniel’s.
“I’m sorry for what I said.” Daniel started. “I realized right after that I didn’t mean it but it was too late.”
“I know.”
“Jihoon told me what he did. I couldn’t believe he was literally trying to get between us.”
Sungwoon raised his eyebrows knowingly and averted his judgmental gaze. He roughly swallowed back an “I told you so.”
“He had a reason though. Not good enough for what he did but he said he was afraid of losing me.”
“Losing you to me?” Sungwoon’s conscious sparked to life again.
“To you. To college life. We only have a few months until we graduate. Jihoon doesn’t want to lose our bond.” Daniel looked off into the trees. It seemed that he had not thought about that detail.
“You won’t be that far away. You can visit whenever you want.” Sungwoon counseled and rubbed warmth into Daniel’s fingers.
Returning from his thoughts, Daniel nodded his head. “Yeah. We’ll be fine. I just- I didn’t think how it would affect him. Anyway, this right now is about us. I’m sorry. Unbreak up with me. Take back my varsity jacket.”
His face was so serious Sungwoon choked on a laugh. He continued to wonder why Daniel put so much emphasis on that varsity jacket. “On one condition.” He said to which Daniel eagerly nodded. “Can I have you back to myself? No Jihoon interrupting everything?”
Now it was Daniel’s turn to laugh. “As you wish. I’ll set some boundaries with him. It’s funny though because I don’t remember him being this needy. I thought he always liked you.”
Sungwoon hummed. “He tolerated me. Once he turned ten he realized I was your favorite person and wanted to take back his title.”
Daniel took a step back with his right foot and tilted his head. “Who said you were my favorite person?” He mused.
Sungwoon’s jaw stupidly flopped open. He caught himself however and returned to his stoic expression. “I guess you can have your varsity back.”
Daniel’s goofy chuckles carried over the music spilling out from indoors. He placed his cold hand on Sungwoon’s cheek and the latter flinched. “Sorry,” Daniel repeated, moving to circle his arms around Sungwoon’s neck instead and kiss his lips.
“Tonight was the night.”
Sungwoon left a gentle kiss on Daniel’s mouth and pulled away with a sigh. “I know.”
“Our porn watching efforts were for nothing.” Daniel told him dejectedly.
There was a spirited look in Sungwoon’s eyes as the corners of his lips upturned. “Not entirely.” He said. “My grandfather had to leave for the night for a family emergency.”
Daniel stared at him blankly. “So there’s no one at your house?”
“Nope.”
Sungwoon watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down. “And we’re going to take advantage of that?”
“Up to you.” Sungwoon shrugged although the answer was already known.
“Shit.” Daniel backed away anxiously and blew air into his hands. “My palms are sweaty. That was unexpected.”
Sungwoon giggled and tucked his own hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “If you’re not ready…”
“Oh I’m ready!”
And with Daniel’s nervous excited energy, they reentered the school gym together. Jihoon who seemed to have been waiting on them approached them with a questioning gaze.
“We’re together again.” Daniel happily relayed and roughly wedged Sungwoon into his side.
Jihoon exhaled relieved and faced Sungwoon. “I’m sorry I ruined your shoes, hyung.”
Thinking back on what Daniel had told him, Sungwoon relinquished his grudges with Jihoon and smiled. “It’s okay. Daniel is going to buy me a new pair.”
Daniel spluttered. “No I’m not! Jihoon is going to get a job!”
Jihoon gasped. “I can’t get a job! I’m only ten! Hyungnim!”
When the dance was over, Daniel wasted no time rushing over to his mother and begging her to let him sleep over Jisung’s house. Despite it being a school night, she gave him permission but not without making Daniel promise that he would pick up Jihoon as usual and be in school on time the next morning.
Sungwoon was outside in front of the school steps when Daniel came jogging up to him.
“Everything’s a go.” He said, raising a thumbs up. “She thinks I’m staying with Jisung hyung.”
“That was easier than I thought.” Sungwoon chuckled.
“I know, right?” Daniel breathed out with a small smile. “Makes me feel a little guilty, though.”
“Babe, if you feel that way we really don’t have to-”
“Oh no! I want to!” Daniel interrupted. “I want to see your cute bloated face in the morning.” He grinned which made Sungwoon lovingly shake his head. Daniel tucked his hands into his jacket pockets and looked at Sungwoon in anticipation. “So,” He continued a bit awkwardly this time. “I’ll stop by my house really quick and I guess… the convenience store…?”
Reacting as the total teenagers that they were, Sungwoon pressed his face into his scarf with a muffled yell and Daniel hopped from foot to foot with an embarrassed laugh slipping passed his lips.
“Okay, okay.” Sungwoon said when they’d settled down. He stood up from the steps and dusted off his jeans. “Go, and I’ll see you at my place.”
“See you at your place.” Daniel replied and pecked Sungwoon’s cheek. “I love you.” He smiled and went off to catch up with his mom and Jihoon.
“I love you too.”
Reuniting at Sungwoon’s house, Daniel became lovestruck when the shorter boy opened the door wearing his round glasses and fleece teddy bear pajamas. The sight was so cute it took Daniel twenty minutes to get over it. Plus the fact that he was at Sungwoon’s house passed curfew for the first time.
What started with a sleepy kiss turned into inevitable giggles, then a few minutes of mild uncomfortableness, Daniel threatening to stop, Sungwoon telling him not to, lots of kisses and finally some feel good sighs. It was the feeling of embodying their love that had them high. In that moment, wrapped up in their own world, nothing could compare.
“I’m so sleepy.” Daniel whispered. The blanket was pulled all the way to his chin and his eyes were heavy as he watched Sungwoon.
“I’m pretty okay, considering,” Sungwoon replied with a wink and Daniel buried his face into the pillow. “So tell me,” Sungwoon requested, leaning closer to Daniel on his elbows, wanting to tease him for his past remarks. “How was it seeing me naked?”
At Sungwoon’s teasing words Daniel rolled on top of him with a growl and playfully bit his neck.
“You know what the best part was?” Sungwoon asked gazing up at a disheveled Daniel who looked down at him with this soft adoration in his eyes.
“I know.” Daniel answered, joining their lips again tenderly.
Together they said, “No Jihoon.”
“It’s such a beautiful day today! The sun is out, the birds are singing!”
Sungwoon took a bite out of his bagel as Daniel merrily swung their hands as they made their way to school together, keeping the promise made with Daniel’s mom. On Daniel’s left side, Jihoon tried his best to keep up with his brother’s long strides.
“The sun is out, the birds are singing and today,” Daniel smiled widely and beamed at Sungwoon. “I’m a new man.”
Sungwoon gasped, choking on a piece of bagel and punched Daniel’s arm.
“Stop!” He whined to the taller when he could breathe again.
Daniel cooed at Sungwoon’s bashfully embarrassed pout and pinched his cheek.
“Hyungnim, why are you a new man?” Jihoon asked innocently and Sungwoon truly wondered what answer Daniel had in store for his little brother.
Daniel dropped a hand to Jihoon’s hair and wound his arm around Sungwoon’s shoulders. “I’ll tell you a secret, Jihoon.” The little boy crowded closer to his older brother and widened his eyes in anticipation. “Ready?” Jihoon nodded. “It’s a little something,” He paused for effect and dropped his voice to a whisper. “Called love.”
“Ew hyungnim! Gross!”
As Jihoon pushed Daniel away in disgust, Sungwoon laughed. One day Jihoon would know what its like. The platonic affections he used to carry would morph into something deeper, something long-lasting. And if Jihoon was anything like his brother, every moment would be worth it.