Work Text:
It was the middle of a heatwave and the office AC was on the fritz. Arin tugged his sleeve ends and wiped his forehead. The desk fan was not doing it anymore. He groaned and downed what was left of his Monster that had long since gone warm. When did he even get that from the kitchen? He didn’t quite remember anymore. He had too much on his mind to care, really. He glanced up as he heard Vernon call out he was headed home. Arin called back his goodbye and returned to his work.
The numbers and words blurred together for the next hour or so and he was finally able to get something done. The AC kicked on for a good twenty minutes as well. He rubbed his eyes and pushed his glasses back up before putting on some headphones just to fill the quiet. He saw Allie and Hannah talking as they left, then Brian a few minutes later. There were at least two more people in here. He rubbed his arm through his cardigan and resisted the urge to pull it up.
The heat wasn’t that bad. He would be fine for another hour. It’s not like he had anyone to go home to except Mochi and Mimi and they would be fine without him for a while.
He watched as Brent left finally. All that was left was Dan, and he wouldn’t leave until Arin left. He smiled to himself. Dan was always thoughtful like that. He had always made sure that Arin knew he was invited over at any time, he would offer to get him food every time he went out, he would even help him calm down after a particularly stressful episode even if it meant being stuck there for a few more hours than expected. Arin had always felt bad at those times since Dan was busy with the new album and everything, but it’s not like he could have changed it anyway Dan was just too caring.
The table jolted and Arin yanked his headphones off to look up. Dan had smacked his hands down on the desk to scare him from his thoughts, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Gotcha!”
“Oh wow, dude, loud noises! I can make those too!” Arin laughed through his wild yelling, Dan’s giggles only getting louder. He set his headphones down and turned more towards his coworker. “What are you still doing in this sauna of an office?”
“I could ask you the same thing, man.” Dan perched himself on the edge of the desk and looked down at Arin. “We said no more late nights.”
“I know, I know.” He couldn’t help but squirm under Dan’s ‘Dad Stare’. If he ever had kids, Arin needed to warn them of that stare. “I just fell behind on some paperwork. I’m almost done.” He patted Dan’s thigh, “Go home, dude. I’ll lock up.”
“Nope.” Dan hopped off the desk and dragged the bean bag chair over to the streaming section and turned on Netflix. “I don’t leave until you do. Gotta make sure you actually go home at a decent time, baby.” He grinned and got comfy with a standing fan aimed down at his body.
Arin shook his head and turned back to his computer. The nickname lingered in his mind. Dan was always a sweetheart but this almost felt different. He let his hands pause and move from the keyboard, one going to rest over his sleeve. He tugged the thin fabric down an inch or so, anxieties rising. “Hey, Dan…?”
“Yeah?”
Arin looked up at Dan, who looked over at him from the bean bag, curls falling everywhere and an almost innocent look in his eyes. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t tell him about this. “Uh. You, um, wanna order some takeout? I could go for some Chinese. I think I’m gonna be here a little while.”
“Yeah, man. Let me go find the menu.” He pulled himself from the bean bag with some difficulty, Arin laughing at the sight of Dan’s gangly limbs reaching all over. Dan finally did make his way out of the seat and went to the kitchen.
Arin took the chance to run to the bathroom. He yanked the cardigan off and threw it into the hamper in a wild panic. He grabbed a cup and downed a full glass of water to try and stave off the heat that was making him sick. Arin then ran some over his head and watched it drip into the blue-tinted sink. The water was at least a momentary wave of relief, but as he looked at his arms, it was almost as if everything calming vanished entirely. He closed his eyes and turned away. “Why. I have to tell him. Dammit, Arin, come on.” He gripped the counter edge tightly. “You can’t hide it forever. You’re gonna have a damn heatstroke before you do.”Slowly, he moved to the toilet and sat on the lid. He put his head in his hands and focused on his breathing.
In. Out. In. Out.
When he tears started, he didn’t know.
In. Out.
“You just have to tell him.”
In. Out.
“He won’t hate you for it. He cares about you.”
In.
A knock.
Arin let out the breath and looked up at the door. “Yeah?”
“You okay in there, Arin? You were there one second then gone the next.” Dan sounded worried. “Did you have Steak and Shake?”
He laughed softly. “Uh, no, I actually wanted to not shit my brains out today.” He wiped his eyes and looked at his arms again. Arin clenched his fists and stood.
Dan laughed and looked at the menu in his hands. “Well, when you’re done, I found a few menus—“ He paused as the door unlocked and it opened. “Hey, Big Cat.” His brows furrowed. “Everything okay?”
Arin rubbed the back of his head, letting out a slow breath. “Not… really? I’ve got something kind of… bad to show you.” He closed his eyes a moment and stepped out.
Dan looked at his face then down as Arin lifted his arms. Dark eyes widened as he took in the red lines all over his friend’s arms. “Holy shit.”
Arin had his eyes shut tight, turned away from Dan. “I—“
“When did you do this? Just now?” Dan sounded almost panicked, making Arin open his eyes and look at him. His friend was looking at his arms in shock, obviously holding back from grabbing and looking closer.
“No, I did it a few nights ago.” He wanted to take it all back. He wanted to hide. Throw his cardigan back on and pretend he was okay until he could tan them away. Dan didn’t deserve this. He didn’t need to worry about him.
Finally, warm hands wrapped around his and pulled his arms down. Arin looked at their hands then Dan’s face. “What are you doing?” He was further surprised when he pulled him into a tight embrace. “Dan?”
“I’m sorry, Big Cat.”
Now he knew when the tears started. Warm and wet, they rolled out of him like an avalanche. He grabbed Dan’s shirt and held tight to him as if he let go, he would float away. Nothing would hurt him here now. He had his best friend. He had someone who loved him. Arin buried his face against Dan’s shoulder and just let all his fears and anxieties overtake him and wash away.
It was a good five minutes before Arin let go. He wiped his eyes with his t-shirt and sniffled. “Sorry. I was kind of… dreading telling you this. I expected you to get upset.”
“I am upset.” Dan gently brushed a thumb over one of the angry lines. Arin winced. “But not at you. I’m upset that you’re hurt enough to do this, man. You could have come to me. I could have helped you.”
“I didn’t know that at the time. Now I do.” Arin felt the need to cover himself but with Dan holding his hands, he hesitated.
Dan sighed and they stood in relative quiet for a little. He finally said, “Do you wanna have a sleepover?”
Arin laughed softly. “I think that would be fun. But, I really do need to finish my work.”
“Nope. Sleepover time.” Dan let go of one hand and led Arin by the other through the office to gather their things. He turned to Arin. “Let’s go get some Chinese and go to your place.”
The man stared at his friend and slowly smiled. Dan returned it and led him out to his car. As Arin buckled his seat belt and let Dan drive him home, he had a feeling things would be okay again. At least he had some help now.