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Leaning his weight against you, fanning against the nape of your neck was Hyunjin’s hot breath and his quiet words spoken with gentle seduction. A new kind of tension—something rigid yet so alluring—wafted through the air in the corner of the empty boy’s changing room located near the school gym, where Hyunjin had you pinned to the back of the row of lockers.
You were only here on his order to get him a bottle of water after his soccer practice, having suddenly received a text from him a full hour after school ended. Thank god you were still in the library studying, or else you would have to leave your house and journey all the way back to school just to get him a bottle of water.
You would have to do it, though, everything he asks you to do, you have to do it. Since you owe Hyunjin a huge favor for helping you sneak out of school so you could go find your mother in the hospital. You still couldn’t believe how your fate simply brought you together with the school’s resident bad boy, but Hyunjin’s husky voice against your ear and his lips whispering down your jaw in loving trails were very much real and physical.
“I thought you just wanted the water…” You said breathlessly, facing the dark-colored lockers on the other side with wide, shy eyes. When Hyunjin teasingly pressed his front teeth against your collarbone, you felt your breath hitch and your hands instinctively flew up to grip the skin of his arms exposed by the rolled-up sleeves of his school shirt.
He chuckled lowly, raising the white flag that had been permanently etched on your tongue, the white flag that signified your surrender to Hwang Hyunjin—to his voice, to his eyes, to his lips, to his touch, to his everything.
Swiping the tip of his tongue against the spot his teeth had possessively grazed across, he leaned his nose against your skin to inhale your scent that was the stark contrast to the filthy sweat on the grass field, or the drunken smoke sprayed around every corner of his chilling home, and he willingly melted against your being.
“I did ask for a bottle of water but I never said that is the only thing I want,” he said, his voice sending chills down your spine when his words hit the nape of your neck like a gentle breeze in the fall weather.
Your hands on his arms relaxed slightly but with the close proximity he had closed between the two of you, you were sure you needed him as a leverage to hold yourself up and to will your knees not to crumble before the sight of him and everything he has been doing to you, both physically and mentally.
(Yet, strangely, every single time Hyunjin pressed himself against you and pushed your sanity over the edge, you let him. The white flag stood up every single time and your heart lets him do anything as he pleased.)
“Wh–what else do you want?” You asked innocently, your voice breaking the smallest amount. It raised his protective instinct, his tender possessiveness, both kicking Hyunjin’s heart further down the rabbit hole that is falling in love, so so hardly in love, with you.
His finger dug into the shape of your hip as his lips once again began its journey of exploring the sweet skin just below your head, in a slow and savoring way, like he was carefully drawing a map and marking down every part he loved about you.
(It was every part. He loved every single part of you.)
“You know what I want, (Name),” he said, his hands trailing up to your waist and they stopped there.
The warmth of his lips echoed on your hot skin when he pulled away to speak, and for a moment you denied the realization that you needed his touch far more than you let on, far more than you convince yourself, far more than Hyunjin knows.
You hummed gently, imagining just the shortest intro where his slender fingers danced against the soft surface of your thighs, and you let out a long shaky breath because god, why would it ever be you? Why would he ever choose your dull, studious, innocent self?
“I don’t think I have what it takes to offer you what you want, Hyunjin,” you muttered honestly, causing him to pause on the kissable trail on your neck.
Disbelief overwhelmed his senses upon your incredulous words. He pulled his lips away immediately, his arms tightening around your waist the way his chest tightened with defensiveness, “Don’t you ever say that, (Name). You give me so much more than I have the right to ask for.”
You laughed in amusement, “What are you saying, Hyunjin? I run stupid errands for you like getting you and your friends ramen for lunch and getting you water after soccer practice. The only way I am contributing to you is letting you stay your lazy ass on the chair.”
Hyunjin frowned. You didn’t get it.
“Hyunjin…? Oh my god, Hyunjin, what happened?” Your once calm voice turned into a panicking one when you finally noticed the heavy bruise covered by his parted brown hair, located right on the top side of his head. “Did you fall during practice?”
He tensed up at the mention of the bruise, remembering vividly what happened the night before when he tried to defend his mother from another disaster resulted from drunken cigarettes. But you seemed to hold on, tightly, when your hand shot up to brush away the soft hair and reveal the purple-blue stain on his skin.
His eyes were on yours when you frantically went ahead to check the rest of his face, brushing away locks of his hair and running your hands delicately down his face to look for anything remotely concerning. You didn’t have the focus to notice his gaze, his exhausted gaze yet filled with fondness to the infinity.
He looked into your eyes and he found himself in there. Just him and nothing else.
So you tell him. You tell him how much you have been granting him and how exactly was he supposed to pull his feelings away from you.
“Hyunjin… are you okay?” You asked suddenly, grabbing his attention when his filthy name left your lips all filtered and beautiful and stunning. Your hand still touched his cheek as you spoke tenderly, like petals of flowers waving prettily in the wind. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but can you please tell me if you feel alright?”
Hyunjin leaned against your palm with his eyes closed in relaxation. You were such a safe space, a loving space, and the only space for him. He wasn’t okay before but with you here, he is now, better than he ever was and he ever will be.
He didn’t speak for a while and when he did, his words rolled out like velvet carpet, “I love you, (Name).”
You widened your eyes at him gently, unsure whether this was one of his teasing antics and afraid to have your feelings backfire on you as soon as you responded with the same amount of sentiment. You looked at his closed eyes, his gorgeous features shining with the dim light in the boy’s changing room, and he looked pure. Utterly pure and loveable.
“Right. You do.”
He hummed in confirmation, instead of opening his eyes he leaned forward to rest his forehead on your shoulder before bringing you down to the ground with him, you fumbling to keep him steady as he did so. Your back slid against the locker while he knelt before your figure and you could feel his heavy heart against your chest.
“I know you don’t believe me… but I do, I do believe I am in love with you,” he confessed tiredly. And then suddenly he was shifting position, turning on his side and making you hold your arms around his torso as he laid on top of you comfortably. “I do love you very much…”
He was repeating his words, slurring and muttering them out like they cost nothing more than a nickel, yet his words weighted more than an ancient penny’s worth.
“Okay, Jinnie, I know,” you held him tighter.
He nodded against your shoulder, nuzzling against you like a child, “Good… can I just ask… for your undivided attention right now. I just need that right now.”
You giggled gently, leaning your cheek against the top of his head after planting a kiss to his forehead, pulling him closer than you had ever attempted. Your fingers went up to caress his hair, carefully giving him the love he won’t have the chance to receive anywhere else but in your arms.
And for the first time, you realized how much you really give him, all the love and all the delicacy he probably wouldn’t have gotten even if he pulled the moon down to Earth himself.
And perhaps you get it now, why Hwang Hyunjin loves you so much.