Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Having all of the Avengers move into the tower was turning out to be quite an adjustment. For years, the only people sharing Tony’s space on a regular basis were people he employed. People he could dismiss when he needed or wanted privacy. Even when he and Pepper has been dating, she had never lived with him. An occasional night spent in the tower wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle.

But this, this constant flow of people in all of his spaces, was starting to wear on Tony. And they had only been in the tower for a few months. Despite having kept the main portion of the penthouse restricted to only himself, there were still people knocking on his door whenever they felt like it. There were team movie nights to attend. There were team dinners to plan and participate in. There were group training sessions scheduled several times a week. And then there was still the multi billion dollar company depending on him to continue functioning.

It was like being in the dorms at MIT all over again, only this time instead of vaguely trying to hide a small cocaine habit and a developing drinking problem, Tony was trying desperately to make sure his life as a genius playboy billionaire philanthropist and Avenger did not meet his life of age playing regularly with a paid caregiver. The added stress of all of this was only making him want more regular sessions with Shaun, which in turn was compounding the problem of trying to hide it all from everyone now living in the tower. It was a viscous cycle that Tony was struggling desperately to find a way to put a stop to.

Tony wasn’t ashamed of what he did in his private time, he’d had years to come to terms with what he wanted and what he needed. He knew how much the age playing leveled him out, how it relaxed him, and how comforting it could be for him to just let go. He knew there were other people out there like him, he even communicated with them anonymously online through forums and chat groups. He was part of a community, as much as he could be with his level of notoriety. But he wasn’t naïve either. He knew that not everyone was accepting of alternative lifestyles, not everyone understood that what he was doing wasn’t ‘perverted’ or ‘wrong’. He’d had enough celebrity sex scandals in his life, he wasn’t about to open himself up to another one, especially when his age playing wasn’t even sexual.

Tony knew people wouldn’t care to find out the whole truth. They’d make their assumptions and run with them, and he’d loose friends, he’d loose business contracts, his stocks would drop. And Tony wasn’t going to let that happen. His company was more than just his legacy left to him by his father. His company was supporting thousands of families, providing stability for them. His charitable work was depended on by thousands more. It wasn’t just him a scandal like that would effect, and Tony wasn’t going to let that happen.

Tony didn’t even want to think about his fellow Avengers or SHIELD finding out. The Avengers probably wouldn’t pull him from the team, he was bankrolling most of their personal and professional needs these days, but their opinion of him would change. They’d look at him differently, and Tony wasn’t going to deal with that. And the blackmail material the information would give SHIELD was a terrifying thought. Fury would love to get his hands on information he could use to keep Tony in line.

It was that reason that kept him from putting all of Jarvis’ normal equipment into the newly built nursery during the remodel after the Battle of New York destruction. Jarvis could monitor life signs inside his nursery, but no voice or video recording capabilities had been installed. Tony’s nursery was an island of privacy within the tower, guarded on the outside by all the technology at Jarvis’ disposal but protected on the inside from all of that same technology. It was Tony’s very own little version of paradise, safe and untouchable.

Tony ran his hands over his face before settling his fingers into his hair to start twisting a lock as he rocked himself slightly on his massive bed. He looked longingly at the door to the far side of the room with a bio scanner set into it. As much as he wanted to go in, he knew he’d drop into his little space if he did, as stressed as he was. One of Shaun’s rules was not dropping without someone there to care for him. Shaun worried about him hurting himself in his little space accidentally or coming back out of his headspace and spiraling emotionally.

“Jarvis, can you get Shaun on the phone?” Tony asked the AI.

“Of course, Sir.” Jarvis’ response was immediate and comforting in its dependability.

“Hey Tony, how are you?” Shaun asked after the third ring.

“Stressed. Kinda dropping a little bit.” Tony murmured softly. Hearing Shaun’s voice was both helping because it was comforting, and making it worse by pulling him closer to his head space.

“Just a few more hours, Tony. I’m going to be there tonight at six, and we’ll get you all settled. I promise. But I need you to hold on a little longer for me, ok?” Shaun was both gentle and firm with him, a combination that did wonders for settling Tony’s shot nerves.

“Yeah, I can do that. I know we’re set on our Tuesday and Thursday schedule, but with everything going on right now I need more.” Tony had been struggling with coming back after just a few hours in his head space. Shaun spent the night with him on nights they played, but Tony had a strict bedtime, so really they only played for a few hours before Tony was put in his crib for the night. Ideally, he’d like to be able to spend longer in one play session instead of adding more short play sessions to their schedule.

“What about the weekend? Would it help if we spent Saturday night together? We can get you in your headspace Saturday afternoon and carry you into Sunday before bringing you back up. Or if you want to schedule a few days away we can do that too. Whatever you need, Tony.” Shaun answered immediately.

Shaun really had been a God send for Tony. He’d gotten Shaun’s information from a therapist that catered to high profile clientele years ago. His references had been impeccable and he was not only willing to sign every NDA that Tony had thrown at him, he’d even had a few of his own. Shaun was like a foster parent for high profile clients, offering them what they needed until they were able to find a caregiver of their own. It had been clear from the very beginning that while yes, he did charge Tony for his sessions, he loved being a caregiver. He doted on Tony in his little headspace, carefully respecting every weird boundary Tony’s messed up childhood and adult issues with PTSD demanded.

He was also very strict about his client list. With what he was charging per session, Tony was pretty sure he could comfortably live off of Tony’s business alone. At no point over the years had Tony ever had any problems with scheduling conflicts with Shaun, the man always made sure he had spare time to cater to any in between needs of his current client lists. Which as far as Tony knew, was never more than two littles at any one time. Tony was pretty sure he was Shaun’s longest standing client, even though Shaun never said as much. He wouldn’t share information about any of the other littles he cared for, not unless they were arranging a play date. Tony had never really had any interest with playing with another little, content to have Shaun’s undivided attention, so his other clients had never come up.

“Yeah, let’s do that. Add Saturday nights to my schedule for now and we’ll plan a weekend soon. It’ll take me a few weeks to clear my schedule enough to get away. Let’s … let’s go to the beach.” Tony decided.

“That sounds great Tony, I’ll start putting together some beach toys. I bet you make amazing sand castles.” The smile in Shaun’s voice was clear over the phone.

Tony laughed. “Damn right I do.”

Shaun didn’t correct his language, doing so would only drag Tony closer to his little headspace and that wasn’t what they were trying to do. “I’ll see you in a few hours Tony.”

“Yep.” Tony waved a vague gesture in the air and Jarvis disconnected the call.

“Jarvis, you get all that?” Tony asked the AI.

“Yes Sir. I’m clearing your schedule for all Saturdays in the foreseeable future. I believe a long weekend can be arranged three weeks from now with minimal disruption to your current schedule. Shall I make arrangement to have the bungalow in the Caribbean stocked for a visit?” Jarvis inquired.

A few days at the bungalow with a private beach sounded like just what Tony needed. His nearest neighbors a few islands over visited about as often as Tony himself did, which was to say not that often. It was commonly understood by people with enough money to purchase those private spaces that none of them were there to socialize with each other. They were there to escape the world, and if that meant nude sunbathing, getting frisky on the beach with whoever they brought with them, or in Tony’s case wearing a pool diaper and arm floaties while building a sand castle with his caregiver, everyone there was going to keep their eyes on their own beach and island bungalow.

“Jarvis, you’re the best. Make sure Shaun’s expenditure account is good and make sure he knows to include things he’ll need for himself on that account too.” Tony said. Buying things in his adult mindset for his little mindset had always taken something away from the experience for Tony. Babies didn’t buy their own supplies, their own toys. Shaun had taken care of that for him, taking over buying and stocking Tony’s space for everything he needed when he was in his little headspace. An intractable expenditure account in Shaun’s name made everything so much easier. When Shaun showed up with new toys, new bottles, new clothes, Tony could enjoy them for what they were and not feel guilty for making Shaun spend his own money on them afterwards.

“Of course, Sir.”

Steve sat in a chair on the other side of Phil’s desk in the handlers office. As team leader, he worked closely with Phil. Scheduling training sessions, reviewing after action reports. His life had completely changed after he Battle of New York. He went from having nothing more to do than punch his way through heavy bags to having to keep a calendar just to keep track of everything.

It wasn’t that he didn’t have any free time any more, he had plenty of free time, most of the Avengers did since their most important job was being on stand by in case they were needed. The problem and the schedule came from trying to organize things into time slots when everybody was free at the same time. Avengers training time had to be worked around Natasha and Clint’s training with shield, had to be worked around Tony’s obligations to SI, had to be worked around Bruce’s time sensitive lab work.

Tony’s schedule was by far the most difficult to work with. The man had maybe an hour a day that wasn’t blocked off for something or another. Most of it was lab time, but there were board meetings, social engagements, charity obligations, news interviews, mentoring with employees in R&D. When Steve looked at his schedule he didn’t understand how the man had time to go to the bathroom, much less eat a meal or sleep.

At first, Steve had assumed the lab time was merely play time for Tony down in his work shop, but a conversation with Pepper about the deadlines that Tony was under for new products, updates to current products, collaborative work with other companies and government agencies, and the maintenance on the Iron Man armor had quickly dispelled that assumption. Steve wasn’t sure how he kept up with it all, but it made a lot more sense to him after seeing the schedule when Tony would announce he was blowing off a meeting. If he didn’t blow off the meeting the man would never have time to do anything for himself. As far as Steve could see, the only time Tony ever took for himself were Tuesday and Thursday evenings. He had a several hour span of time blocked off with a massage therapist followed by nothing for the rest of the evening. Steve wasn’t really sure why a massage took three hours, but if that was what Tony wanted to do with the only time he allotted for himself, Steve wasn’t going to argue with it.

In the months that all of the Avengers had been living together, Steve felt like they’d gotten closer as a team. With the exception of Tony, Steve had found common ground on a personal level with each of the others. Phil was not only a Captain America fan, he was a history buff that loved the WWII era. He and Steve could talk for hours about it. Clint’s passion for ridiculous sci-fi movies had sucked Steve in instantly. He knew that the graphics were sub par by current standards, but to Steve they were still amazing. The story lines reminded him of the penny comics he and Bucky used to read as kids. Natasha had a love for art that Steve shared and they spent occasional afternoons at the the museum together. Bruce’s love for cooking had pulled Steve in, and he’d asked for cooking lessons. Times had changed since the last time Steve had been responsible for feeding himself. There were so many more option for food now. So two or three times a week, he and Bruce got together to cook dinner for themselves or sometimes the whole team.

As far as Steve knew, he wasn’t the only person on the team that was having a hard time connecting with Tony on a more personal level. With Tony’s schedule it was hard to find time to even attempt to find common interests. So far all they had managed was bonding over the tech that each Avenger brought to Tony for repair or upgrade. That was one way they had all found to immediately grab Tony’s interest and start a conversation.

Steve had the impression that Tony was keeping himself at somewhat of a distance on purpose, but hadn’t been able to figure out why yet. While Tony would talk about Avenger related business and would discuss things about himself that were in tabloids, their conversations never strayed into territory any more personal than that. It worried him a little. Steve knew personal team dynamics effected professional team dynamics. He needed to make more of an effort with Tony, draw him out for time with the rest of team.

Phil’s tablet made an odd noise that drew Steve’s attention. He raised a questing eyebrow at Phil.

“Notification of a change to one of the schedules.” Phil supplied.

“You get notifications for that?” Steve asked.

“Yes, I’ve asked Jarvis to notify me of any changes. Most of them don’t effect anything, but the one time I miss something is the one time it will be important.”

Steve nodded in understanding. That’s the way it always went. “Whose schedule changed?”

“Tony’s. He’s … cleared his schedule for Saturday’s for the foreseeable future and scheduled a long weekend for the end of this month. He’s added more time on Saturday with his massage therapist and the long weekend, looks like he’s taking a few days for himself. No details or destination listed.” Phil read from the screen.

“Does massage therapy really do that much for him? Those appointments are three hours long twice a week already.” Steve said, clearly confused. There was no such thing as massage therapy when Steve had been small and sick. He wondered if it would have helped him if it had been an option.

“It can be very beneficial. Natasha and Clint see one through shield, just not as often as Tony. Sessions over long periods of time are shown to reduce stress levels and even though Tony is mostly protected by the armor, it’s still heavy equipment that he works with regularly. I’m sure that causes some muscle strain.” Phil said softly. He didn’t mention the arch reactor and the strain it put on his lungs. He had seen Tony’s medical records. The reactor had compromised his lung capacity and the structural integrity of his chest cavity as a whole.

“Huh. Maybe I should try that.” Steve mused out loud.

“It couldn’t hurt.” Phil encouraged.

“I’ll ask Tony for the name of the guy he uses. He’s already at the tower anyway to see Tony, maybe he could fit me in.”

“Hey Munchkin, you ready for your bath?” Shaun asked.

Tony was sitting on the large play mat in the middle of the living area of the two bedroom suite that led off of his master bedroom in the penthouse. The floor plans of the tower had this area of the building listed as server rooms. If it seemed odd that there were server rooms in the penthouse of the building, well he was Tony Stark. Billionaires were allowed to be eccentric. Besides, Tony would never actually allow his servers to be placed in any area that anybody with access to his floor plans could find.

Tony took a few thoughtful pulls on his favorite pacifier and put another block on top of the tower of blocks reaching head height in front of him on the play mat. He was wearing his favorite light blue onesie with the cartoon puppy dog on the chest and had had a pretty good night so far. Shaun had made macaroni and cheese for dinner, and let him try to feed himself in his high chair while Shaun filled a sippy cup with juice before pulling a chair up and taking over with the spoon.

When he was full and cleaned up, Shaun had let him down to toddle into the living room where the blocks had still been on the mat while Shaun finished cleaning up the kitchen from dinner. Then Shaun had come to play blocks with him, helping Tony match the colors on the different towers of his castle, praising him the whole way for color matching and building techniques. Tony in his little space was a sweet well behaved little boy that soaked up praise and attention like a sponge.

Shaun knew there were a lot of things in Tony’s past that effected the way he played in his little space. He never asked questions, it was only his business in so far as it effected the way he handled Tony in his little space, and he and Tony had had several very long discussions before their first play session all those years ago.

Over the years, Shaun has become a little attached to Tony. He knows that what they do is technically a business transaction, but in order for it to work, it has to be more than that too. Shaun prides himself on being able to ride the line carefully enough to keep from getting too attached while still maintaining professionalism until his charges settle into a relationship. Tony is by far his longest standing client. As much as he cares for Tony, he wants nothing more than for Tony than for him to find a caregiver of his own. He’s such a good baby, he deserves so much more than what Shaun can give him a couple times a week. Shaun is determined to give him what he can until he finds that, though.

“Bath?” Tony slurs behind his pacifier.

“Yes baby, bath time. We can play with your bath crayons!” Shaun ran a hand through Tony’s hair.

Tony nodded eagerly and his attention immediately switching from the blocks in front of him to the promise of coloring on the walls in the bath tub.

“Let’s put your blocks up first.” Shaun brought the wooden box Tony’s blocks were kept in over and helped Tony carefully put all of his blocks back into the box.

“Good job, baby!” Shaun put the box back on the bottom shelf of the bookcase that held an assortment of toys, books, and movies that Tony liked.

Shaun held his hand out for Tony to take and waited for him to get his balance before leading him through the nursery and into the adjoining bathroom. The nursery took up the bigger of the two bedrooms because it held more furniture. There was an adult sized crib in one corner, a changing table in the other corner of the same wall, a large toy chest sat against the opposite wall, and a rocking chair big enough for both Shaun and Tony to sit comfortably in sat tucked into the remaining corner of the room. All of the furniture in the room was hand carved out of mahogany and the nursery itself was painted a light green. Trees and vines were painted on all of the walls, with monkeys swinging from them and down by the baseboards were lions, elephants and giraffes. The comforter on the bed was a soft patchwork quilt of animal themed blocks, and so was the pad covering the changing table. The plush carpeting was triple padded for comfort and a soft cream color. Tony really had spared no expense when putting it together.

The bathroom continued the animal theme, a border of painted vines and animals running along the top of each wall. The bathtub was large enough to comfortably fit an adult with plenty of room for play.

“Go pick your toys and I’ll run the bath water.” Shaun encouraged. He moved to the tub and started filling it with water, careful to keep an eye on the temperature and water level. Tony had struggled with baths for a while, but after a lot of patience and gentle exposure, he was really starting to enjoy bath time again as long as the water level remained low.

Tony toddled over to the toy storage and picked out several ducks and fish in various sizes, and grabbed the pack of washable wall crayons for the tub. His selection made, he made his way over to where Shaun was kneeling by the tub filling it.

“Want these.” Tony said sweetly around his pacifier.

“Those look like fun. Let’s get you undressed so you can play with them.” Tony knew the routine, loved the dependability of the routine, and lay down on the padded bath mat next the bathtub. He sucked his pacifier and let the toys rest beside him while Shaun undid the snaps over his diaper on the onesie. The diaper was quickly and efficiently removed with an ease that spoke of years of experience. The pacifier was plucked from between Tony’s lips and placed aside. Shaun helped Tony sit up and gently pulled the onesie over his head.

“Alright Munchkin, in you go!” Shaun stood and pulled Tony with him, holding onto his arms as Tony stepped over the side of the bathtub and settled into the water.

Shaun picked up the toys from the bath mat and put them in the tub. Tony went for the fish that swam in the water, giggling as the little toys took off and pushed the little rubber duck through the water after them. Shaun spent a little while playing chase the fish with Tony, smiling indulgently at every giggle. Tony really was such a sweet baby.

“Crayons?” Tony asked, his attention having waned from the game of fish chasing.

“Sure baby, what are we gonna draw tonight?” Shaun opened the bath crayons and held them up for Tony to choose his colors.

Tony studied the crayons thoughtfully, then chose the black crayon. “DUM-E.” Tony said firmly.

Shaun smiled encouragingly and gestured for Tony to start. There wasn’t much from Tony’s adult life that bled over into their play sessions, Tony preferring to leave it all at the door when they came into the play rooms. Shaun had understood the clear boundaries and was careful with all the things he used the expense account to buy Tony. There wasn’t a single Avenger themed item in these rooms, nothing to pull Tony out of his little space. But the bots in Tony’s work shop pre dated a lot of Tony stressors from his adult life, were a source of comfort to him that Tony was comfortable bringing into these rooms with him.

A sketch of DUM-E quickly took shape on the smooth tile. Shaun used the other crayons to draw a little Tony with an orange ball for playing catch. Tony giggled and smiled his way through a story about little Tony and DUM-E playing catch in the park.

Shaun let him play until he knew the bath water wasn’t going to stay warm much longer. He used a frog shaped bath cloth to wash Tony, gently tickling his toes when he washed his feet. Shaun was careful with Tony’s face and hair, telegraphing every time he brought the wet cloth close. He made sure the cloth was tight against Tony forehead when he had him lean his head back for hair, making sure no water dripped down over his face.

When Tony was clean Shaun declared bath time over and pulled the stopper to drain the bath water. Steadying Tony, Shaun helped him stand and wrapped him in a large fluffy towel with a hood in one corner shaped like a puppy head with floppy ears and all. Once Tony was wrapped up Shaun helped him from the tub and lead him back out into the nursery and straight for the changing table.

Shaun wrapped one arm around Tony waist and and one arm under his bottom and boosted Tony up on the changing table. Shaun was in pretty good shape, he could support Tony weight for a few minutes at a time, but carrying Tony for any length of time was awkward and quickly wore him out. Which was a shame, because Tony loved to be picked up and Shaun knew he’d adore being carried.

“Alright baby, lets get a diaper and jammies on and we’ll get you a bottle. How’s that sound, sleepy boy?” Shaun asked as he used the towel to finish drying Tony off.

Tony nodded and brought his thumb up to his mouth while Shaun worked. Shaun gently tugged his thumb from his mouth and replaced it with a pacifier before pulling a diaper and some powder from a drawer on the changing table. Shaun made quick work of getting the diaper on and pulled a pair of footy pajamas from another drawer in the table. With practiced ease, he quickly had Tony dressed for bed and sat up.

Shaun scooped Tony up again long enough to set his feet down on the floor and took his hand to lead him over to the padded rocking chair. “Sit down for me, baby. I’m gonna get your bottle warmed up.”

Tony curled up in the rocking chair while Shaun went to warm his bottle. Tony struggled with nutrition, often skipping meals and when he did eat it was whatever he could easily get his hands on. So Shaun made sure the bottles he gave Tony before bed were meal replacements high in vitamins to offset some of the missed meals and complete lack of nutritional value in many of the meals he did eat.

Shaun returned to the bedroom to find a half lidded Tony curled in the rocking chair sucking his pacifier and blinking slowly. His boy was definitely tired, Shaun hoped he’d make it all the way through his bottle before nodding off. He grabbed the blanket hanging over the side of the crib and sat beside Tony, laying the blanket over him as he pulled Tony half into his lap. The pacifier was quickly replaced by the bottle and Tony sighed contentedly as he sucked gently, turning his face into Shaun’s chest as much as he could without loosing the nipple.

Tony slowly made his way through the whole bottle with a little help, Shaun gently shifting him when his eyes drifted shut and his mouth slackened on the nipple. The gentle movements stirred Tony enough that he latched back on for a few minutes before the cycle would repeat itself all over again until the bottle was empty. Shaun kept up the gently rocking motions of the chair for a few minutes after Tony finished the bottle before gently nudging Tony awake one more time. He guided Tony half asleep to the crib, the side already down, and nudged him to lie down on his back. Shaun covered Tony with the blanket and replaced the pacifier he’d taken to give Tony his bottle.

Tony’s eyes drifted shut immediately and Shaun spent a few minutes gently rubbing his belly to settle him deeper into sleep before stepping back to raise the side of the crib and locking it in place. The mattress of the crib was set to normal bed height, making it possible for Tony to settle himself in, and the bars of the sides came up to Shaun’s chest. If Tony wanted to get out of the crib himself, he could, because when Tony sat up in the crib the bars came up to head height. Tony never made any attempt to stand in the crib, never made any attempt to leave it on his own, content to wait for his caregiver to come get him.

Shaun checked the nightlight and the baby monitor, making sure Tony wouldn’t wake in the dark and he’d hear if Tony woke before he came back to get him in the morning. Pulling the door up behind himself, Shaun left it cracked a few inches and made his way to the other bedroom.

Chapter Text

It took over a week for Steve to manage to run into Tony’s massage therapist. He’d originally meant to ask Tony about it, but every time they saw each other there had been other things going on and it had just slipped Steve’s mind. So he decided instead to try to run into the man himself on one of the days he was in the tower to see Tony to ask about getting his contact information. 

Steve looked up when the elevator dinged to announce its arrival and moved to step in. Steve was a bit startled to see a man a little older than himself already in the elevator, considering the only floors above the gym where Steve had just come from were Tony’s penthouse and labs. Well, older relative to how old Steve looked, not chronologically older. Steve thought the man was in his mid thirties, tall but not as tall as Steve with brown hair and eyes, and looked like he was in good shape. It struck Steve that he looked kind, but he wasn’t sure where the thought came from. Just an overall feeling the man seemed to be giving off. He was dressed in black scrubs with ‘NY Massage Associates’ embroidered on the chest of the scrub top.

“Oh hello.” Steve said, stepping into the elevator and pressing the button to the communal floors. 

“Good morning.” The man smiled as he moved to the side to allow polite distance to separate them.

“You must be Tony’s massage therapist. I’m Steve.” Steve held out his hand as the elevator doors closed.

“Yeah, I’m Shaun. Nice to meet you, Steve.” Shaun smiled politely and shook Steve’s hand.

Steve settled back against the opposite wall while the elevator went down two levels to the communal floors. “I’ve actually been meaning to ask Tony for your phone number.”

“Oh?” Shaun’s eyebrows rose with the question. 

“Yeah. I just kept getting sidetracked every time we see each other and never got the chance.” Steve said. The elevator doors opened to the living area where a few of the other Avengers were already gathered. Steve stepped halfway out, keeping the door open while he faced Shaun. “I’ve been hearing great things about the benefits of massage therapy and wanted to give it a try. I figured since you’re already in the tower to see Tony that would make it pretty easy.”

“I’m actually maxed out on clients at the moment. The agency only allows us so many clients at a time to prevent overbooking. But I have a business card on me, the agency has already been vetted by Stark Industries, so they can absolutely set you up with someone that can come to the tower for appointments with you.” Shaun said easily, pulling his wallet from his back pocket and removing a business card to hand to Steve.

“That would be great!” Steve enthused, taking the business card. “Thanks so much, sorry for holding up your elevator.”

“Not a problem, have a great day Steve.” Shaun said as the elevator doors closed.

Steve pulled his own wallet out and put the business card in for later and headed further into the living room. 

“Hey guys.” He greeted the other Avengers present.

“Did you just ask Stark’s hooker for a business card?” Clint cackled from his perch on the back of the couch. 

“His what?” Steve asked with a startled look, stopping to stare at Clint

Natasha chuckled from her seat at the other end of the couch and shook her head, going back to her coffee. 

“His hooker. The guy that just came down from the penthouse?” Clint clarified, gesturing at the elevator.

“He’s a massage therapist. He was wearing scrubs and gave me a business card for a massage agency that’s approved through Stark Industries. I know things have changed since my day, but I’m pretty sure hookers don’t wear scrubs and hand out business cards.” Steve said as he regained some confidence, shaking his head at Clint’s antics. 

“Actually Steve, the really good ones do.” Natasha added with a knowing curl to her lips.. 

“How do you figure that?” Steve asked and pulled his wallet back out to inspect business card closer.

“Steve, upper class wealthy people do not want anyone seeing a hooker coming or going from their place of business or their residence.” Clint explained patiently.

“I still don’t understand why that automatically means he’s a hooker. Tony has standing appointments with a massage therapist.” Steve insists. 

“Yes Steve, he does. On Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday evenings. It’s Sunday morning, Steve.” Natasha said patiently, waiting for Steve to put the pieces together. 

“Oh. Oh!” Steve blushed when the pieces fell into place. Natasha’s right, Tony’s standing appointments are in the evenings. And it is Sunday morning. Which means Tony’s massage therapist has spent the night in Tony’s penthouse. “Is that … a regular thing?”

“I don’t know if it’s every time, but it’s definitely a common occurrence. Plus Tony is always in a good mood the morning after.” Clint grinned. 

“Well then. I guess I don’t need this.” Steve headed towards the kitchen to throw the business card in the trash. 

“You can keep the business card. He actually is on the payroll of that agency and they are a legitimate business that have been vetted by SI. They’ll send out an actual massage therapist for you.” Natasha assured. 

“I’m … I’m not sure how I feel about that. And how do you even know this?” Steve asked. 

“I worked for Stark Industries for a while, closely with Tony, when the arc reactor was poisoning him. Everyone in contact with Tony was vetted by Shield. He’s been seeing Shaun for years.” Natasha informed him. She stood and headed into the kitchen, refilling her cup of coffee.

“Well it would have been nice for Phil to warn me about that when I mentioned I was going to see about trying out massage therapy.” Steve muttered, following her into the kitchen to get some eggs out of the refrigerator to start on breakfast. 

“As far as Shield is concerned, he checked out as exactly what he appears to be. A massage therapist on the payroll of a local agency that Tony has a long standing appointment with. I only know more because I was in the tower to see him leave the next morning. It wasn’t relative to the mission, Steve. There was no reason to include that in any after action reports.” Natasha said softly.

“You held back the information.” Steve nodded in understanding.

“He’s not hurting anyone. Tony has very few people in his life that stick by him. It may not be a typical relationship, but it’s the longest standing relationship he’s ever maintained other than Pepper Potts or James Rhodes, and both of those have professional connotations to them. There was no reason to jeopardize it by exposing it to Shield.” Natasha waved a hand dismissively.

Steve stared at her. It wasn’t that he thought Natasha was incapable of compassion, but when and how she showed it was always surprising. Keeping information from a Shield report was a significant gesture on her part, even if Tony never even knew she did it. Maybe especially because Tony never knew she did it. 

Steve didn’t say anything more about it, knowing that calling too much attention to it would make Natasha uncomfortable. Instead, he held up the eggs and and a package of bacon he’d spotted in the fridge and raised his eyebrows in question, making sure to include Clint in the gesture. He received appreciative nods from both of them and set about his cooking. 

“What about Pepper?” Steve asked softly a few minutes later. 

Natasha hesitated. “I never asked either one of them about it. But I know that Pepper was aware of the appointments. I got the impression they predated Tony and Pepper’s relationship. It worked for them.”

Steve thought about that while he finished the eggs and dished them up onto plates with bacon and toast. Tony’s relationships really weren’t his business, it was none of their business honestly, but when you lived in close quarters with people these things tended to come out. People harped on the idea of Steve being all about justice and moral integrity, and there was truth to that. But when consenting adults participated in adult activities, Steve didn’t feel like it was his place to judge them. Everyone involved here was, as far as Steve could tell, aware and consenting to all activities. 

By unspoken agreement the three of them let the subject drop and sat down around the bar to eat their breakfast.

Steve didn’t see Tony for several days after his conversation with Clint and Natasha. He was grateful for that, it gave him a chance to adjust to the new information before having a conversation with Tony. The last thing Steve needed to do was stutter or blush his way through a conversation because he couldn’t get the thought of him with a sex worker out of his mind. It wasn’t like Steve didn’t know that Tony had been with a sex worker in the past, Tony’s life had been plastered all over the tabloids and internet since Tony was a teenager. But since he became Iron Man, Tony’s public image had gone through a more positive transformation. 

By the time Steve saw Tony again, he had his head wrapped around the situation and had put it out of his mind as not something that affected the team and therefore not his business. Things settled back into their normal routine over the next week.

“Tony’s out of commission for a few days. If there’s a world ending catastrophe, an Iron Man suit can be piloted by Jarvis remotely to assist, but Tony’s benched medically for at least three days.” Phil said. They were gathered in a conference room for their weekly team meeting.

“Is he alright?” Steve asked, concerned.

“He’ll be fine. I saw copies of the medical report, it’s more a precaution than an actual necessity at this point.” Bruce assured. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Clint asked. 

“Bronchitis. Normally it wouldn’t put him down, but Tony’s chest cavity is compromised by the arc reactor. It’s important that he nip this in the bud now to avoid it turning into pneumonia. That has the potential to … be very bad.” Bruce explained.

“Alright, I’ll pull him off the practice roster. We’ll use it to work on our skills without the benefit of air support.” Steve decided.

The meeting continued, Phil briefing them on a few situations that Shield was keeping an eye on, concerned they may become an Avenger problem. They discussed weapons updates they planned to talk to Tony about once he was cleared by medical, and Phil gave Clint and Natasha briefings on short missions they’d been requested for by Shield. Phil was good about advocating for Clint and Natasha to stay close to New York, and Steve appreciated his efforts to keep the team close. 

They wrapped the meeting up, each headed their own way. Bruce back down to his lab, Phil back to Shield, and Clint and Natasha heading to the gym. Steve debated between changing clothes to go for a run or taking a sketch pad up to the rooftop patio. He was halfway to his floor when he decided before he did either of those, he should check on Tony. 

As the team leader, Steve felt it was his responsibility to mother hen the team a bit. He’d always done that for the commandos, and the Avengers were becoming as much of a team to him as the commandos had once been. Well, most of them anyway. Tony was still was hovering around the edges of the team, but maybe this could help bring him in closer. Steve hoped that checking on Tony would help him see that they were more than just colleagues, that Steve cared about Tony on more than just the battlefield. He wanted to be Tony’s friend. 

Steve made his way to the elevator and hit the button for the penthouse, assuming that’s where Tony would be if he was meant to be resting. He wasn’t sure exactly what he could do for Tony, but he could at least ask him if he needed anything. The elevator stopped, but didn’t open, waiting for Tony to authorize the entrance into his personal set of rooms. Steve waited for a moment, looking up at the ceiling of the elevator. He knew Jarvis wasn’t actually in the ceiling, but the urge to try to look at who he was talking to was hard to resist. 

“Jarvis, is Tony not here?” Steve asked the AI. 

“Sir is in the penthouse, but is not answering.” Jarvis informed him. 

Steve’s lips pursed. If Tony wasn’t able to answer, he may be more ill than they thought. “Open the door please Jarvis, I want to make sure he’s ok.”

“Captain Rogers, Sir's private quarters are off limits to other building residence unless express permission is granted from Sir or another occupant currently inside the quarters.” Jarvis said. Steve thought he sounded apologetic about it. 

“I know that Jarvis, but Tony is sick. I’m concerned that him not responding means he’s sicker than we thought he was. Can you confirm he’s alright?” Steve tried again. 

“I do not currently have visual of Sir inside the residence. His life signs are present, and appear stable, but I cannot visually or verbally confirm this.” Jarvis admitted. 

Steve hesitated for a brief moment. He didn’t like the idea of invading Tony’s space without permission, but if Steve left and Tony had needed help, Steve couldn’t leave that to chance. “Override code Charlie Alpha seven four Sierra three six Zeta.” Steve said firmly. 

The elevator doors slid open and Steve stepped out into a spacious living room. The lights were off but the floor to ceiling windows flooded the room with warm natural light. There was no sound in the room, and Steve couldn’t hear any noise coming from further inside either. As Steve walked further into the room, he could see the open kitchen from where he stood. Nobody was in the kitchen, and nothing seemed out of place. He walked deeper into the suite and down the hallway leading off the main room. He knew there were several bedrooms down the hallway, but wasn’t sure which one was Tony’s bedroom.

“Tony?” Steve called loudly. “It's Steve. I came to check on you, make sure you were ok and see if you needed anything.”

There was no answer. Steve moved further down the hallway, knocking on the first door he came to. When there was still no answer, he opened the door to find an empty office. He looked around the whole room, just to make sure, before backing out and closing the door  He repeated the process at the next door and found a bathroom, also empty. Steve did the same thing to two empty bedrooms he was pretty sure were guest rooms.

Steve moved to the last door in the hallway, knocking before he opened it. He was sure when he opened it that this was Tony’s bedroom. It was much larger than the two previous bedrooms with large glass doors that opened on to a balcony. The bed was still made and none of the lights were on. Steve was really starting to worry at this point, and looked at the three doors in the bedroom. There were two doors set into the same wall and a third set against the opposite wall.  Steve went to the two doors and pulled the first one open to see a large walk in closet. He flipped the light on to make sure, but it was empty. Then next door led to the master bath, also empty. That only left the door on the far side of the room. Steve walked quickly to the door and twisted the handle, but the door didn’t budge. Steve looked at the biometric lock next to the door and frowned. 

“Jarvis where does this go? Why is there a bio lock on it?” Steve asked. 

“The door leads to the server rooms, Captain Rogers. The door is not equipped with voice recognition, it will only open for Sir's biometrics.” Jarvis answered. Of course Tony keeps his server rooms in his bedroom. 

“Jarvis, are you sure he’s here? Maybe he’s in the lab.” Steve asked the ceiling.  

“Sir's life signs indicate he is in the penthouse, Captain.” Steve thought Jarvis sounded offended.

“Jarvis …” Steve trailed off, frustrated. Jarvis didn’t make mistakes, Steve knew, especially not where Tony was concerned. The AI was as devoted to Tony as a computer program was capable of being. Well, considering Tony was the one who designed Jarvis, he was probably more dedicated than any computer program had any right to be. 

Steve turned towards the door, preparing to leave, but stopped before he could take a step.  There was a sound. Soft, muffled, but it was there. Steve turned back to the locked door and listened harder. There it was again, muffled but definitely coming from the door to the server room. Steve pressed closer to the door and strained his hearing. It was crying. Steve heard the faintest little sobs coming from behind the door. The sound was so soft Steve knew without his enhanced hearing he never would have heard it.

“Jarvis, open this door.” Steve said firmly. 

“I’m sorry, Captain. I can’t.” Jarvis said. 

“Jarvis, I hear crying. Open this door. Now.” Steve insisted. 

“Captain, the door is equipped only with the biometric lock. I am incapable of opening the door for security reasons.” Jarvis admitted.

Steve griped the door handle, set his feet, and slammed his shoulder into the door hard. 

Shaun had a very sad, very fussy, very sick baby on his hands. Tony had called to let him know before their appointment the previous evening, so Shaun had stopped at the store on his way over. He’d picked up some Italian Ice cups to help with the sore throat, some Vicks Vapor Rub for the congestion, and thermometer stickers to keep an eye out for fevers. 

With everything he needed, Shaun had cleared his schedule for the next few days, he didn’t have any other age playing sessions scheduled with other clients for the rest of the week so it hadn’t been difficult, and had headed for the tower to take care of his sick little.

Tony hadn’t been too fussy the previous evening, but after a whole night of sleep disrupted by coughing fits and congestion, Tony was exhausted. Shaun had given up somewhere in the middle of the night and gotten Tony up out of the crib and sat with him in the rocking chair. The elevation eased the nasal congestion and let Tony sleep fitfully in short bursts before coughing fits woke him. 

Now Shaun had a lap full of Tony on the double rocker in the living room with Trolls playing on the television. It wasn’t one of Tony’s favorite movies, but Shaun knew if he wanted Tony to nap he needed something on that wouldn’t absorb too much of his attention. 

Tony shifted fitfully in Shaun’s lap before a coughing fit took him. Shaun pressed the stuffed puppy to Tony’s chest and encouraged him to squeeze it through the fit, the pressure of it easing the pain the coughing caused due to the arch reactor. Tony whimpered as the coughing subsided, easing his hold on the stuffed animal. 

“I know sweetheart, I’m sorry you don’t feel well.” Shaun cooed, rubbing a gentle hand over Tony’s stomach.

“Hurts.” Tony said pitifully. 

“Where does it hurt baby?” Shaun asked. 

Tony pawed lightly at his throat with one hand. 

“How about some flavored ice, hmm? It'll feel good on your throat.” Shaun suggested.

Tony had been struggling with his pacifier all morning. He desperately wanted it, but cringed and whimpered every time he tried to suck on it. For his morning bottle Shaun had to cut the nipple so the meal replacement flowed freely instead of Tony drawing on the nipple. Shaun was hopeful the ice would give him some relief, if Tony could take his pacifier he'd most likely be able to settle enough to nap. 

Tony nodded and let himself be scooted to the side so Shaun could go into the kitchen. He came back quickly with a small plastic spoon and strawberry flavored Italian Ice. Shaun sat back down in the chair and pulled Tony back into his lap, his back against Shaun’s chest.

“It's strawberry, your favorite!” Shaun spooned a small amount of the ice onto the spoon and brought it to Tony’s mouth. Tony opened for the for the spoon full obediently, but with a decided lack of enthusiasm.

“Good boy.” Shaun praised, running his other hand through Tony’s hair.

Shaun slowly fed him the rest of the cup while Tony half heartedly watched the Trolls movie. When the cup was empty Shaun set it aside and pulled Tony’s pacifier up from where it was clipped onto his onesie and settled it into Tony’s mouth. Tony gave a few experimental sucks before his face scrunched up.

Shaun saw the breakdown coming before the first sob passed Tony’s lips. He gently maneuvered Tony around to face him, straddling his lap, and ran a gentle hand in circles over Tony’s back as the broken little sobs ripped out of Tony’s sore throat.

“Shhh, I know sweetheart. I know. It’s ok.” Shaun soothed, and started the rocker into a gentle motion with his feet. Shaun wasn’t surprised by the breakdown, Tony had been deep in his headspace since shortly after Shaun arrived the night before. Tony was always an easy going, happy, loving baby, but as miserable as he felt and with how little sleep he had gotten the night before, it was only a matter of time before the breakdown. Shaun kept up the rocking and rubbed Tony’s back, murmuring soothingly as he settled in to let Tony cry himself out.

Both Shaun and Tony jumped at the loud crack from the door that led into Tony’s bedroom in the penthouse. Shaun wrapped both arms around Tony protectively, and Tony’s sobs dried up instantly as he went stiff in Shaun’s lap. They both watched the frame of the door splinter as Steve Rogers shouldered his way into the living room.

Chapter Text

“Tony?” Steve asked hesitantly, taking in the room.

This was definitely not a set of server rooms. This was a whole apartment that was set off of Tony’s master bedroom. Steve was standing just inside of a living room and could see a small but full open kitchen and dining area. The living room had a colorful children’s mat in the middle of the open floor and there was a bookcase filled with children’s books and toys against one wall. The large TV was playing some cartoon movie that Steve didn’t recognize.

The most confusing thing to Steve though, was Tony himself. He was sitting facing Shaun on the mans lap and had clearly been crying before he had frozen when Steve broke through the door. He was wearing a baby blue onesie, which Steve didn’t even know they made in sizes big enough to fit an adult, and had a sticker in the middle of his forehead. The more Steve looked, the more odd things he noticed. Like the pacifier that was clipped to the front of the onesie. The stuffed animal that Tony was clutching to his chest in a tight grip. And the fact that there was white material that didn’t look like underwear peeking from under the onesie where it ended at the tops of Tony’s thighs. That Tony’s bottom looked padded. Tony was wearing a diaper. Steve blushed furiously.

“Steve.” Shaun said, and held up a placating hand in Steve’s direction. “The penthouse is off limits to other residents of the tower. These rooms in particular are off limits to everyone.”

“There was no answer when I came to check on Tony, but Jarvis confirmed he was in the penthouse. I was concerned he was sicker than we thought and needed help. When I couldn't find him and then heard crying …” Steve trailed off. Though he was talking to Shaun, his eyes never left Tony. The man looked terrified, though whether it was of Steve or the situation that was terrifying him he wasn't sure. 

“I appreciate the concern, Steve. And I know that Tony does too, but we’re fine.” Shaun’s hand was rubbing small circles on Tony’s back, and Tony turned his head into the man’s shoulder, hiding his face from Steve. His body was still rigid, Steve could see the lines of tension running through him.

“He doesn’t look fine. Tony, you were crying. Are you alright?” Steve switched his attention back to Tony. He didn’t look like he was in pain, and though Steve knew the situation was incredibly awkward, Steve was completely at a loss as to what was going on.

Tony seemed to huddle further into Shaun, clinging to him and trying to bury his face further into Shaun’s shoulder. So it was Steve that was making him uncomfortable.

“Steve, he’s fine. He doesn’t feel well, and didn’t get much sleep last night. But he’s not in any real distress, I promise.” Shaun assured.

“I don’t … understand what’s going on here.” Steve admitted.

Tony whimpered and Shaun immediately switched his attention back to Tony, his hand running over Tony’s back. “It’s ok, baby. Do you want him to leave?” Shaun asked.

Tony murmured something into Shaun’s neck that even Steve’s hearing didn’t pick up.

“Ok sweetheart, I know.” Shaun started rocking the chair. “Steve, I appreciate your concern for Tony, and I know that he does too. We’re sorry to have worried you, but Jarvis doesn’t have visual or voice monitoring set up in these rooms. But Tony is fine, you can see that he’s fine.”

Tony still didn’t look fine, but Steve didn’t think he was in any kind of danger either. Whatever was going on here, seemed to be consensual. Tony’s relationship with Shaun was long standing, he knew that Shaun had been vetted by both SI and Shield. Whatever this was, it was obviously private. Private enough that Tony had built an entire suite of rooms off of his bedroom and hidden them, going so far as to have the plans for the building altered to show them as server rooms.

Tony had opened his tower to the team, offering to house all of them, and took care of their day to day needs. He asked nothing in return from them, refused any offer of rent from them as individuals or any compensation from Shield. There was always food in the common areas, a staff of people kept up with all of the cleaning, there was even a laundry service. Tony made sure that the gym was stocked with heavy bags for Steve, a yoga studio had appeared for Bruce and Natasha, the firing range had been modified with a lane for archery. Their weapons were maintained, upgraded, and new weapons showed up in the weapons depot without being asked for. Tony took care of all of them, and asked for nothing. And in return for all of that Steve had been gossiping like an old lady with Clint and Natasha about Tony’s personal life not that long ago instead of respecting Tony’s privacy. Had shouldered his way into a private sanctuary of Tony's. Good intentions or not, Steve has forced his way somewhere he did not belong and wasn’t welcome. 

“I just need Tony to tell me that, and I’ll leave. Tony? I need you to tell me you’re ok. That this is consensual.” Steve said. If this was what Tony wanted, then Steve wasn’t in a position to say anything about it. If this was all the man asked for in return for everything he did for them, for the world as Iron Man, then Steve was going to walk right back out the door and let him have it..

Tony nodded against Shaun’s shoulder, refusing to look at Steve.

“I’m sorry, Tony. I need you to say it. I need to make sure you’re ok with me leaving you here.” Steve insisted.

Shaun nodded, seeming to understand, and gently shifted Tony in his lap. “Sweetheart? Steve needs you to tell him that you’re ok. That you want to be here with me. Can you do that?”

Tony made several unhappy sounds as he was shifted to face Steve. He was still trying to hide against Shaun’s chest, but Shaun was persistent and coaxed Tony into looking at Steve.

Tony looked vulnerable. Steve couldn’t think of a better way to describe it. He looked small, open, and completely vulnerable. He looked up at Steve from under his eyelashes that were still wet with tears, and Steve’s heart broke a little bit for him. He obviously felt miserable, and on top of that Steve had burst into Tony’s private space and embarrassed him.

“Wanna be here.” Tony whispered. Steve had never heard him sound like that before. Tony was always so confident, so full of bravado and charm. Now Tony sounded small and innocent, and Steve understood exactly why Shaun was cuddling him in that chair and holding him close. It gave Steve the urge to do the same thing.

“Ok Tony. I’m so sorry for invading your privacy. I hope you feel better soon.” Steve said. 

“Steve?” Shaun brought his attention back to him. 

“Yes?” Steve asked. 

“I hope that this isn’t necessary, but I want to remind you about the NDA's that you signed when you came to the tower. I just want you to keep those in mind before you think about talking to anyone about this, please.” Shaun said gently. Steve watched him wrap his arms tighter around Tony, and understood. Shaun wasn’t threatening him, despite the consequences of the large number of NDA's everyone had signed when they moved into the tower carried should they be violated. Shaun was trying to protect Tony. 

“It isn’t necessary, but I understand. I would never.” Steve reassured. 

He glanced around the room one more time as he turned to walk back out the door he had muscled his way through. More things stood out to him on his way out. The chair at the kitchen table that looked like a high chair big enough for an adult, the bottles in the drying rack by the sink. One of the bedroom doors was open and Steve could see it was painted a light green with bright colorful animals painted on the walls swinging from vines and playing in grass. It looked like a nursery.

Steve did his best to shut the door behind him as he left, wedging the door back into the splintered frame. He had a lot to think about. And a lot to research. He’d never come across anything like this back in the 40’s, but with the internet at his disposal, he was confident he could find answers and understand what it was Tony and Shaun were doing. 

Tony was shaking in Shaun’s lap as he listened to the door being wedged back into the frame. Now that Steve was gone, he was struggling with his headspace. The little part of him wanted nothing more than to push himself as far into Shaun as he could, to hide his face from the memory of a very large blonde man barging into his safe place and making it feel not so safe anymore. The rest of him was struggling with whether or not he should start damage control now or let Steve sit on this new information for a while.

Coming out of his headspace stressed and under duress would leave him feeling it for days, it definitely wasn’t ideal. He whined pitifully into Shaun’s chest as he struggled with the decision. 

“Shhh, it’s alright. He’s gone, baby. Settle down.” Shaun cooed above him. Hands on his back ran soothing circles and the chair started rocking a slow steady pace. Tony felt himself relaxing, sinking back down  further into his headspace. 

“Not gonna tell on me?” Tony whimpered. 

“No baby, he's not going to tell on you.” Shaun assured.

Tony let himself go, let himself relax completely back into his headspace. Shaun was here, Steve was gone. Steve wasn’t going to tell on him.

Shaun tilted his head back and smoothed the hair back from his forehead. His lady bug sticker was there to check his temperature. He liked the lady bug, it was much better than having things stuck in his ears. Shaun’s hand moved from his forehead down to his bottom, slipping two fingers between the diaper and his skin, checking for wetness. Tony squirmed. He was wet, but he didn’t want to get up to go into the nursery. His chest and throat hurt, and he was just so tired. It wouldn’t be so bad if Shaun could pick him up, but he’d have to walk with Shaun to the changing table. 

“Ok sweetheart. Let’s get you changed, and then we'll have a bottle and a nap.” Shaun said.

“No nap.” Tony said pitifully.

“Yes nap. You’ll feel much better after a nap.” Shaun insisted.

Tony let himself be moved to the side so Shaun could stand and pull Tony with him. Tony followed behind Shaun, holding his hand and turning to face Shaun when they got to changing table. He lifted his arms and waited for Shaun to boost him up onto the table before settling onto his back. 

Tony brought his thumb up to suck on and grimaced when his raw throat immediately protested. Shaun noticed and shushed him gently before unbuttoning his onesie and pushing it up around his belly. Tony watched as Shaun undid the sticky tabs on the diaper and spread Tony’s thighs to lower the front of the diaper down before pulling it from under his bottom.

Tony didn’t mind the diapers, they were soft and comforting. They even had little cartoon robots printed on them that Tony loved. He didn’t always need the diapers, sometimes his headspace was old enough that they weren’t necessary. But most of the time, they were, so Shaun always put one on him even when he was feeling a little bigger just in case. It was nice to know that Shaun would take care of him, even down to his most basic needs. He didn’t have to worry about anything, Shaun would always change him, feed him, cuddle him, and play with him. Nothing outside of the little apartment mattered when Tony was little. 

Shaun nudged his hip and Tony planted his feet and raised his hips to let him slip the new diaper under his bottom. The cream Shaun spread on his skin was cold and Tony wiggled on the changing table. Shaun sprinkled powder over his skin and fastened the diaper in place, then leaned down to blow a raspberry on the exposed skin of Tony’s belly. Tony giggled and squirmed, forgetting for a second how tired he was and how bad he felt. Shaun snapped the buttons of the onesie and helped Tony sit up. 

“Come on, baby.” Shaun helped him get his feet over the side of the changing table and wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist to lift him off the table and set him down. Tony took Shaun’s hand again and toddled behind him, the thick pudding of the diaper forcing his thighs wider apart than they normally would be, back to the double rocker in the living room. Shaun sat him down in the rocker and made his way into the kitchen. 

Tony curled up in one corner of the chair, picking up the stuffed puppy he'd left there. The pressure of holding the stuffed puppy against his chest when he coughed helped reduce the pain, and he liked the soft fur to cuddle and pet in between coughing fits. Tony brought his thumb up to his mouth and immediately winced when his throat protested the sucking motion again. He desperately wanted his pacifier or his thumb to suck on, but was painfully reminded of his raw and aching throat every time he tried.

Shaun came back with a bottle and sat down beside him, pulling Tony close until his upper half was cradled against Shaun’s chest. Shaun brought the bottle up to his lips, the nipple on this bottle was cut like the one he had earlier that day. The warm milk and meal replacement mixture was sweetened with honey, and tasted and felt good on his aching throat as gently sucked on the nipple. Tony felt himself relaxing more, melting further into Shaun as he nursed the bottle. His eyes drifted shut as the bottle emptied. The last thing he felt before sleep claimed him was Shaun gently replacing the nipple with his pacifier.

Steve spent days researching online, reading articles and forum posts. There was so much information to sort through, and Steve was pretty sure that a lot of it didn’t apply to what he had seen in the little apartment that Tony had created. Some of the information seemed to be purely about sexual kinks, and Steve was pretty sure that wasn’t what he had seen. There was a possibility there may be a sexual aspect to what Shaun and Tony were doing, but Steve hadn’t gotten that feeling from it. And even if there was, it wasn’t his place to judge. Some of the information he found was a bout roleplaying, and he thought was closer to what he had seen.

The more he got into it, Steve decided that the most accurate description of what he had seen between Tony and Shaun was age playing. Tony had looked different to Steve, softer and more relaxed. His facial expression was more open, his voice younger and more innocent, then Steve had ever seen or heard it. The more he read, the more convinced he was that Tony had been in a little headspace and that Shaun was his caregiver. 

The more Steve read, the more insight he gained. The relationship between a little and a caregiver was based a lot on trust. Tony trusting his caregiver to take care of him when he allowed himself to become that vulnerable with another person, to not hurt or take advantage of him. Steve didn’t think there was anyone on the team that Tony trusted like that. He thought Tony may trust James Rhodes or Pepper Potts that much, but he wasn’t sure if even they knew about this. Natasha had said that Tony had been seeing Shaun for years, that his appointments had predated Tony’s relationship with Miss Potts, and had continued while he was with her. She either knew and accepted what Tony and Shaun did, or she had just known that it was something that wasn’t going to stop and accepted that. Either way, Steve didn’t feel like it was something that he could discuss with Miss Potts.

Steve continued his research, using all of his down time to browse the websites and forums. At first, it was to understand what he had seen, but the more he read the more fascinated with the dynamics of the relationships he became. To be needed like a little needs their caregiver, to offer the love, support, and understanding that way. It appealed to Steve in a way that nothing else in the twenty first century had. Steve had been doing his best to look out for people since he was eighty pounds soaking wet with so many health issues he could barely take care of himself. It hadn’t mattered though, that desire to protect, to shelter, to care for had burned inside of him even then. Steve was becoming more and more entranced by the idea of it with every article and post he read.

It was also obvious from all his research though that as much as the times had changed since the thirties, as more and more things became socially acceptable, this was still not something that was accepted as a whole. There were communities of like minded people, but it wasn’t something you shared with coworkers. And that was why Tony had created his secret apartment, had hidden it on the plans for the building, and had Shaun come into the tower under the guise of a massage therapist. If that information got out, Tony would be looking at a scandal that would affect his image as Iron Man and his company as a whole. Steve could only imagine what SI’s stocks would do if people found out that Tony Stark was wearing diapers and sucking on pacifiers. As unfair as it may be to judge someone on what they do in the privacy of their own home, it was just the reality of the world.

Steve thought that may explain some of the distance Tony kept between himself and the team. He didn’t know them, didn’t trust them with his secrets, but he had opened his home to them and risked exposing more of himself that he wanted exposed. It really had only been a few months since they moved into the tower with Tony. Tony wasn’t used to sharing his space while keeping his private life to himself. Steve was more and more certain that Tony just needed time to come to terms with them in his space, to be comfortable with keeping the two aspects of his life separate while in the same space.

Steve had wanted to give both Tony and himself a couple of days before he talked to him, time for Tony to process and time for Steve to learn. When he went to talk to Tony though, his lab was dark and there was no answer at the penthouse door. Jarvis informed him upon request that Tony was needed in the Malibu office of SI for an urgent matter that the AI wouldn’t discuss because it wasn’t Avenger business. There was no time frame listed on Tony’s schedule and Jarvis couldn’t tell him how long Tony would be gone, only that he was still available for any Avenger emergencies.

Steve didn’t want to assume that Tony was avoiding him, but it seemed like that was the case. There were only a few more days before Tony’s scheduled weekend away and Steve was hoping Tony would be back before then. He wanted to talk to Tony, reassure him that despite the way Steve had violated his privacy by forcing his way into the apartment, Steve had no intention of violating it further by telling anyone what he had seen. It wasn’t his place, and he wanted to make sure that Tony understood that. And there was also a part of him that really wanted to talk to Tony about what he had seen and what he had read about afterwards.

Steve didn’t find Tony before his scheduled long weekend, but he did run into Shaun at the tower. It wasn’t as ideal as finding Tony would have been, but he’d take what he could get. Maybe Shaun could point him in the right direction for good information.

“Shaun!” Steve called, trying to get the man’s attention before he walked out of the lobby of the tower. 

Shaun turned at the sound of his name and Steve caught the slight hesitation in his posture, as if he was trying to decide between staying for the conversation with Steve or trying to keep walking. Steve hurried towards him, wanting to make the decision for him before he had a chance to make it through the doors. 

“Hey, I’m sorry to ambush you like this. I’ve been trying to talk to Tony for a few days but I haven’t seen him. I really wanted to talk to him before he left this weekend.” Steve rushed to say. 

“I’m sorry you weren’t able to get ahold of him, Steve. Maybe when he gets back.” Shaun evaded.

“Are you going with him?” Steve looked pointedly at the suitcase Shaun was rolling behind himself. 

“I’m sorry Steve, I really can’t discuss clients with you. That would be extremely unprofessional of me.” Shaun said firmly. Steve understood, and respected Shaun’s determination not to expose more of Tony’s personal life. There were a lot of people out there that would sell information like Shaun had to the highest bidder in a heartbeat.

“Ok. I can understand that. You’re right, it wouldn’t be professional. Maybe we can have a conversation about me instead?” Steve tried again. 

Shaun raised an eyebrow at him. 

“I’ve been doing some reading, a lot of reading actually, about age play, and I-"

Shaun cut him off. “I’m not discussing what Tony and I were doing with you, Steve. You’re free to draw your own conclusions about what you saw, but I’m not confirming or denying anything for you.”

“I’m not asking you too.” Steve said firmly. “I’ll talk to Tony about what I saw with him. I’ll reassure him again that I have no intention of telling anyone about anything that I saw or heard. And I’ll apologize again for the invasion of his privacy. Because well intentioned or not, that’s what that was.”

Shaun considered him. Steve hoped the sincerity he felt was coming through.

“I think that’s a good idea, Steve. I think that it would go a long way with Tony.” Shaun said after a moment. 

“Good, I’m glad to hear that. I’d planned to, but I wasn’t sure how he’d feel about it.” Steve breathed a sigh of relief. There were a lot of ways he’d envisioned his conversation with Tony going. The more hopeful ones ended with them on good terms, but he definitely saw potential for things going downhill quickly if he didn’t handle the situation right. 

“So if that’s not what you want to talk about, then I’m not really sure what I can help you with, Steve.” Shaun said. 

Steve took a steadying breath, squared his shoulders, and met Shaun’s eyes. If Tony and Shaun weren’t ashamed of what they did, then Steve wasn’t going to be ashamed of liking it either. They were all consenting adults that weren’t hurting anybody with what they did. “Well I’ve been reading about this thing I found called age play, and I’m interested in it. But I don’t feel like it’s just something I can start conversations about with random people, and as a … public figure, it’s not a good idea for me to put myself out there online too much to meet other people that are interested in it either. I thought maybe I could talk to you about that, learn more, and maybe you could point me in a discrete direction.”

Shaun looked a little taken aback by that declaration, and Steve waited him out. If he didn’t get anywhere with Shaun, there was still the possibility that Tony would talk to him about this. If neither of them would talk to him, then he'd proceed on his own. 

“Interested how?” Shaun finally asked. 

“I think I’d be a good caregiver. I … think I want to be a good caregiver.” Steve said earnestly.

Shaun studied him for another minute and then glanced around them. They weren’t in a heavy traffic area of the lobby, but there were people scattered about, attending to their own business. “I have some time before I catch my flight. Let’s not discuss this here, let’s have a discussion, about you and some potential interests that you have, at the coffee shop instead.” Shaun made sure to reinforce that the conversation would be about Steve, not Tony or himself or what the two of them did together. Steve would respect that. 

“That would be great.” Steve said, relieved. 

They made their way to one of the smaller coffee shops within the tower, a little out of the way but less visited because of it. The two of them settled into a small table at the back of the seating area once they’d ordered drinks.

“What makes you think you want to be a caregiver?” Shaun asked once they were settled.

“Like I said, I’ve done a lot of reading. There were some things I saw that … I am definitely not interested in. No offense to anyone that is.” Steve hastened to clarify. “It’s just not what appealed to me.”

Shaun nodded, seeming to understand. “You’re interested in non-sexual age play?”

“Yes, exactly.” Steve agreed. “I just … I’ve been looking out for people since I was a kid. Long before I looked like I do now and had the ability to help people like I do since the serum. I’ve always tried to help people, care for them, protect them. It makes me feel good to be able to do that for people  And I’ve never been one to need recognition for doing any of it, that’s not why I do it. But to be a caregiver for a little … I think a little would … need me. Would depend on me for care and protection and nurturing. No one’s ever really needed me like that outside of a life saving situation. I’ve never had anyone depend on me for the small stuff before. I think it would be really nice to have someone need me for the things I want to do for them anyway.” Steve had to pause a few times to make sure he was getting his feelings across in a way that made sense, but when he was done he thought he’d managed. 

Shaun looked encouraged by what he’d said, and nodded thoughtfully. “Do you understand what littles get out of age playing?”

“I think it varies depending on the little. I think some people just need a break from everything that they’ve got going on in their adult lives, that it’s a way for them to relieve the stress of that. I think some people didn’t get safety, comfort, or security from their own childhood experiences and crave what they missed as a child and maybe use this to get a little of that in their lives. I think some people just take comfort in letting go enough to be taken care of and knowing that someone wants to take care of them. I think it takes a lot for a little to trust someone that much, and you have to respect someone that can trust like that. It’s a gift to be given that kind of trust.” Steve knew he was getting passionate about what he was saying, but he couldn’t help it. He felt passionately about this, more so than he'd felt about anything in his personal life in a long time.

“You’ve thought a lot about this.” Shaun said, sincerely and a little surprised. 

“I have. It wasn’t something I’d ever considered before I knew about it, but now that I do know about it I can’t let it go.” Steve agreed. Steve could tell Shaun was carefully weighing everything Steve said, coming to his own conclusions about how serious Steve was. It wasn’t something that Shaun was going to take lightly, and that was ok because Steve wasn’t taking this lightly. 

“This is a lifestyle choice. There are a lot of people out there who choose to participate in this lifestyle, some of them with similar concerns to yours about public opinion. I could introduce you to a few people if you were interested.” Shaun offered after a pause. 

“Please. I know there’s a lot more for me to learn about this, but I’d like to learn with other people. I can’t learn everything just from reading.” Steve relaxed, his shoulders loosening up. He hadn’t even realized how much tension he'd been holding. 

“You know I can’t speak for Tony, or what we do, but hypothetically if he were one of those people, is he someone you’d consider learning with?” Shaun asked. They were dancing around the subject now, and Steve knew it. No clear admissions made, but there was no mistaking what was between the lines. 

“No, absolutely not.” Steve said firmly. Shaun’s lips pinched and his face went hard at that. Steve knew he’d said something wrong, but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what. “I could be wrong here, but I thought that despite not being romantic relationships, a relationship between a little and a caregiver is … somewhat committed? I wouldn’t date someone else’s significant other, so I don’t want to interfere with anything that Tony may have going on with anyone else.” Steve played the game, saying without actually saying. 

Shaun’s face softened, losing the pinched expression. He seemed to be considering something hard, deciding what if anything he should say. Steve could see him struggling with it. He wasn’t sure if they were going to drop the pretenses or not, but he didn't think Shaun would. “One of the things that I do professionally, aside from my work as a massage therapist, is to help littles that don't have a permanent caregivers of their own. I'm like a … foster parent. Taking care of them until they find the right person for them, until they find their … forever home.” There was something in the way Shaun said 'forever home' that made Steve think there was something more to that phrasing. 

Steve sat back in his chair. So that's what this was for Tony. Shaun wouldn't admit to any of it pertaining to Tony, but he couldn't have been more clear if he had. Tony was a little without a caregiver and was paying Shaun to take on that role until he found someone. In a way it was sad, thinking of Tony having to pay someone to take care of him, having been waiting for years to find someone. Steve was sure that Shaun really did care for Tony, he could see it in the way he interacted with Tony in his little headspace, and he could see it now in the way Shaun refused to come out and directly say anything that would put Tony in a bad position. If all Shaun cared about was the money he wouldn't be hinting at Steve that Tony was in need of a caregiver. It would explain why Tony had continued to see Shaun while he dated Pepper.

“I don’t want to interfere financially either.” Steve tried to make the statement as delicate as he could. He wasn’t interested in putting Shaun out of a job, even if he was starting to think about how sweet Tony had looked cuddled close to Shaun and shyly trying to hide his face from Steve in the little apartment.

Shaun chuckled. “I appreciate the concern, but I don’t do this for the money anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to the money. But I had a client a long time ago that was a financial advisor. This isn’t something I have to do anymore, it’s something I choose to do. And I do it for the clientele that I do because I understand discretion and they deserve to have their needs met just like everybody else does. They shouldn’t have to deny themselves because they’re afraid of a scandal.”

“I couldn’t agree more. It wasn’t something I ever had to worry about before, you know? I mean, there was the lack of the technological footprint back then, but also people just didn’t care enough about me to watch everything I did. There weren’t cell phones everywhere for people to take pictures and videos at the first sign that I’m doing something embarrassing. It’s been a really big adjustment, and after a couple of pictures hit the internet that I’d rather hadn’t, I’m pretty self conscious about it.” Steve shuddered internally at the thought of those photos. 

After his identity had come out there had been people everywhere recognizing him. Before, he had never really thought much of exploring the 21st Century, but after pictures of him looking very confused in the Stark Store with a StarkPad held up like it was contagious had plastered all over the internet, he’d stopped doing his exploring in the public eye. If people were that invested in him exploring technology, he didn’t even want to think about how they would react to him at one of the age play social events he’d seen circulating on the forums. He couldn’t imagine that Tony would be able to go to one of those either.

“It can be a very difficult thing to deal with. So I know that everything is all still theoretical for you, but is there an age that you’re drawn to? Caregivers have needs just like littles do, it’s important to make sure that needs are being met on both sides.” Steve could definitely see the caregiver in Shaun the more they talked. He was attentive to what Steve said, engaging him in thoughtful conversation. Steve could imagine him with Tony, who always had something to say. Steve could imagine Tony as a little too, curious, bright eyed, and eager to play.

“I kept coming back to babies. I wouldn’t mind a little that was a bit older, but I don’t think I’d be a fit for much older than four or five. I want a little that needs me to take care of them. Feed them, bathe them, play with them. I’m a super soldier, I’m capable of carrying an adult around. I know that’s one thing that a lot of littles talk about, wishing that they could be picked up but having to find work arounds for it. I could carry a little around all day and not break a sweat. I think I’d like that.” Steve smiled a little sheepishly.

Shaun laughed. “That is something that a lot of littles day dream about. I’m in pretty good shape myself, but I can’t pick them up like that. You’d make a baby very happy with that, for sure.”

Steve wondered if he was talking about Tony. The more he thought about it, the more he hoped he was talking about Tony. “I’m going to talk to Tony when he gets back. Apologize again, of course. But talk to him about this as well.”

“I’ll talk to him too, Steve.” Shaun smiled, and Steve thought maybe this was going to turn out to be a good thing. That maybe barging into their private moment might not have been an entirely horrible thing.

Chapter Text

Tony was getting a little irritated waiting on his private jet for Shaun to show up. Yeah, it was his jet and it wasn’t going to take off until he said so, but that didn’t mean he wanted to sit here for an hour waiting on his caregiver to show up. He really needed this time away, was eager to get the trip started. He wouldn’t be able to drop into his headspace until they landed and were at the house, so the sooner they left the closer Tony was to being able to let go.

After that monumental disaster that was Captain America breaking down the door to his very secret ‘server rooms’, Tony had made up a very good reason why his presence was required immediately in Malibu for some very serious company business that would take him through the rest of the week until his long weekend with Shaun. The fact that he spent several days in his Malibu mansion working remotely on things for the Stark Industries office in New York wasn’t any bodies business but his. 

He wasn’t running from Steve. He was avoiding the conversations temporarily. He was giving them both time and distance and hoping that maybe Steve would be too embarrassed to even want to have a conversation about it by the time Tony was back at the tower. He was also giving Steve enough time to hang himself if he was going to talk about what he’d seen. Having Jarvis monitoring for a few keywords being spoken inside the tower as well as monitoring Steve’s internet activity for the same keywords should give him enough of a heads up if he was going to be walking into a nightmare at the tower. Unless Steve went to Coulson's office at Shield to talk about Tony’s proclivities.

Tony pinched the bridge of nose between his fingers and closed his eyes. He'd had a stress headache for days. It didn’t help that leaving for Malibu had meant that he didn’t have access to Shaun. He hadn't been in his little headspace in almost a week now. Under the circumstances though, he'd been too stressed to allow himself to go down in the tower anyway. Even after updating Jarvis' security and revoking all override codes for every Avenger that would allow them access to his penthouse and personally supervising the installation of a new door that would give even a super soldier pause. The walls around the door had been reinforced, but the door itself hadn’t been, he had wanted it to blend into the room. It was an oversight that he blamed on being comfortable in his own space for too long. He'd have to keep reminding himself that it wasn’t just his space any more and accommodate accordingly.

He'd been trying to do the right thing when he built floors for all of the Avengers. He had never trusted Shield, but the Phase Two weapons Jarvis had found combined with the missile they had deployed had cemented his belief that they were not now, nor would they ever be, an agency that he could trust. Removing the Avengers from a Shield base and creating a new independently funded base of operations for them had been the tactically sound thing to do. He stood by that decision even now, when his personal comfort was being stomped all over by the risk of exposure. Tony had been so sure th at he could keep his personal affairs separate while sharing space with the team. The previous weekend had just thrown in his face how horribly wrong he'd been.

Now he's sitting on a jet waiting for Shaun so they can leave the country in order for him to be able to relax. Tony glanced down at the StarkTab in his lap for what felt like the thousandth time. Jarvis hadn’t picked up any of the keywords being spoken, but Steve’s search history recently spoke volumes by itself. Thankfully Steve was using tech that Tony had provided to do his searching, ensuring that nobody but him was monitoring the search content. He was going to have to wipe that off the servers when he got back to the tower. 

Tony wasn’t surprised by the searches, he’d expected it. For all that people assumed Steve was lost in this century, Tony knew the man was far from stupid. He was adapting remarkably well to the flood of new technology that he had woken up to. What did surprise Tony was the depths of the searches. Steve hadn’t stopped when he had figured out what he had seen. Instead, he had dived into article after article about age play, infantilism, and alternative lifestyles. Steve was up to his neck in forums, asking questions and participating in discussions. And the product websites he was visiting were concerning. Steve found his way to websites that sold clothes, pacifiers, bottles, baby blankets, and diapers and pull-ups all sized for littles. He's also found websites that sell furniture for littles in appropriate sizes. Steve has looked at everything from toddler beds to cribs to changing tables and toy boxes.

Tony didn’t know what Steve’s game was, and that was stressing him out more than he cared to think about. Tony understood doing some research to figure out exactly what he’d seen, but he couldn’t figure out what Steve’s purpose was for such in depth research. Maybe he was trying to figure out if Tony was mentally competent enough to stay on the team. Maybe he was trying to gather enough information to take to Shield or Coulson to make a good case as to why Tony needed to be removed from the duty roster. Maybe he was gathering more information so that when he finally came at Tony he had a good arsenal of ammunition by way of information to come at him with.

Tony really didn’t want to have to do legal warfare with Steve Rogers, but the man had signed a perfectly legal NDA along with all of the other Avengers when he moved into the tower. They had been meant to protect all of them, from outside sources and each other. A safety net for them all to fall back on and a way to make them feel more comfortable about sharing their spaces. Not to mention two of the live in residents were spies and so was the teams handler. Tony wanted to get to a point where he trusted these people in his tower, but he wasn’t there yet, so he had protected himself. If Steve told anyone, there wouldn’t be any way to take the information back, but there would damn well be consequences. He just really didn’t want it to have to come down to that.

Tony was still lost in thought when Shaun boarded the jet. He had one of Tony’s suitcases with him, having gathered items from the apartment at the tower for Tony. Usually he and Tony would pack Tony’s little things together, but Tony had wanted to avoid the tower for a little longer and had asked Shaun to pack his things for him this trip.

“I thought you changed your mind.” Tony teased. There was an undercurrent of insecurity to it that Tony knew Shaun would pick up on, but he couldn’t help it.

“You know better than that.” Shaun chided gently. “I just got held up at the tower. Steve caught me in the lobby when I was leaving.” Shaun put the suitcase under one of the tables towards the back of the jet before settling into one of the seats across from Tony.

Tony sucked in a breath at that statement, and let his head drop back against the headrest. “And how bad did that conversation go?”

“It actually didn’t go badly at all. He said he wouldn’t tell anyone, and I believe him, but he really did blindside me with that conversation.” Shaun admitted.

“How long are you going to keep me in suspense?” Tony buckled himself in when the pilot lit up the seatbelt sign. He’d foregone a flight attendant on this flight, not wanting to have to watch what he said to Shaun.

“I made it very clear that we were not going to be discussing you or what I do with you. And if that was what he wanted to talk about then there was no need for us to talk at all.” Shaun fastened his seatbelt as well, preparing for takeoff.

“I can’t really say I’m surprised that didn’t stop him. The man is like a freight train when he gets going, there isn’t much going to slow him down or get in his way.” Tony sighed and rubbed between his eyes.

“He said that was fine, that he wanted to talk to you himself when you got back to the tower.” Shaun started.

“Lovely.” Tony interjected mournfully.

“And then asked me if we could have a conversation about him instead.” Shaun finished.

Tony scoffed. “And what did the good Captain have to say about himself?”

“Firstly, he said that he was going to apologize to you again. Made it very clear that he knows despite his intentions being in the right place that he invaded your privacy and he feels bad about it. I’m telling you, Tony, he’s not going to say anything about this to anyone.” Shaun assured.

“Then why is his search history for the last week nothing but age play related websites and forums? I get wanting to understand what he saw, but he’s going above and beyond, Shaun. He’s asking questions, talking to people online.” Tony shook his head, breaking off his rant.

“He wanted to ask me questions too. About age play. He was interested in what he saw, Tony. And very interested in what he started reading online. He asked if I’d be willing to introduce him to people who play but would respect his need for discretion.” Shaun said quietly.

“He what? You’re joking. This is your idea of a joke, at my expense, and it is not funny!” Tony growled.

“Tony.” Shaun said, a hint of firmness creeping into his voice. Shaun didn’t usually mix his position as Tony’s caregiver into their conversations when Tony wasn’t in his little headspace, but Tony knew as stressed as he was that he was wobbling on the edge. “I know that you have trust issues, but you know better than that. This isn’t something that I’m going to tease you about. This has been extremely stressful for you, I get that, but you know better.”

Tony closed his eyes and sighed. “I know, I’m sorry. So what, you think he’s going to follow the NDA but just play head games with me? I gotta say, I did not see that coming.”

“I don’t think he’s messing with you, I think he’s serious. We talked for a little bit. Got some coffee in the tower and sat down together. I think he’s sincere.” Shaun said.

“I need a drink.” Tony mumbled, unfastening his seatbelt and heading for the bar. 

“I won’t take you down into your headspace when we get there if you’re drunk, Tony.” Shaun said firmly, but didn’t try to stop him from getting the drink.

“I know. Just the one. The flight is long enough by itself for this to work its way out of my system, not to mention the trip to the beach house once we land. Besides, it would take a lot more than this to send me into drunk territory.” Tony sat back down, drink in had.

“He’s interested in being a caregiver. I think he’d be good at it. He’s inexperienced, of course, but he has a good grasp on the concept.” Shaun let the drink go, probably knowing Tony was right.

“So what, you’re just going to introduce him to a little you know won’t tell the tabloids that Captain America wants to be her Daddy? I guess at least that way I know he’s not going to talk about what he walked in on.” Tony grumbled.

“Actually, I was thinking about introducing him to you.” Shaun said gently.

Tony choked on his drink. Scotch going down the wrong way was incredibly painful.

“He likes the idea of a younger little, a baby. He even talked about how a lot of littles wish their caregivers could pick them up, and how that wouldn’t be a problem for him. You love being picked up and cuddled, Tony.” Shaun said knowingly.

Of course he liked being picked up and cuddled when he was in his headspace. Shaun tried to accommodate that as best as he could, but there was no way he could carry Tony around on his hip the way Tony would like. Tony had never met a caregiver who could, not with him. Shaun was hitting low, playing into what he knew Tony liked.

“You know I can’t do that. Even if I wanted to, half the reason I like being little is leaving everything to do with the team behind. How would that work if I brought Captain America into my age playing? I’d never be able to get away from that part of my life.” Tony argued.

They had clear rules in the little apartment. Nothing in the apartment was Avenger themed, and there was definitely no shortage of Avenger themed anything these days. Since the formation of the Avengers, themed merchandise was popping up everywhere. By mutual agreement he and Shaun made sure none of it entered the apartment. 

“Maybe he’d like to leave all of that outside too. I don’t think Captain America is interested in being a caregiver. I think Steve Rogers is.” Shaun said softly.

Yeah, Tony could understand that. Iron Man wasn’t a little, but Tony Stark was. Tony took another sip of his drink.

“I don’t know how I feel about that. We’ve been doing this for a long time …” Tony trailed off.

“We have. And I would never just leave you with someone, Tony. There is no way that I’m going anywhere unless I know that you're happy and very well taken care of. But this has always been until you find the caregiver that’s right for you. You deserve to have a Mommy or Daddy that loves you and wants to take care of you for no other reason than because they love you.” Shaun said gently.

Tony knew that. He cared about Shaun, had for years, and knew that Shaun cared about him. But they both knew going into their arrangement that what Shaun wanted for him was to find a caregiver that wanted him. Shaun liked to help people, liked to take care of them, and the way he did that was by making sure that littles had support when they didn’t have a caregiver. He filled that gap for them, got them through until they were in a stable little/caregiver relationship again. It was never meant to be permanent with Shaun, and Tony knew that. But he was comfortable with Shaun, with their routine, and the thought of stepping out of that comfortable routine and into something unknown was terrifying. Even if there was the possibility of a happy outcome. The unknown was intimidating.

“What if he doesn’t like me?” Tony’s voice came out small and scared, and Shaun was in the chair next to Tony immediately.

“He’d be crazy not to like you. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We’ll talk some more about it this weekend, but for now let’s just enjoy the flight. Come on, I know you’ve got a movie on this flight that hasn’t even hit theatres yet, show me what you’ve got.” Tony knew Shaun was trying to pull him back from his headspace, and it helped. He’d be able to let go once they got to the beach house, but until then he needed to keep it together. Continuing this line of conversation was only pushing him further towards his little headspace, so it could wait. He really didn’t need the pilot added to the list of people who had seen things they weren’t meant to see this week. 

“Yeah, there’s a few.” Tony pulled up a list of movies on his StarkPad and projected them onto the screen in front of them. Shaun slipped Tony’s still half full glass of Scotch out of his hand as they went down the list of movies.

“Hey sweetheart, wanna go down to the beach and build a sand castle?” Shaun asked.

They’d been at the beach house for three days, and Tony felt relaxed and loose in ways that he hadn’t in a long time. He’d been in his little headspace for most of the last three days. He knew they only had a couple more days before they had to go back, but it was hard to think about that when he felt so relaxed and content. He’d think about that later, when he felt big again.

“Castle?” Tony asked behind the pacifier in his mouth.

“Mhmm. Doesn’t that sound like fun? We can build a mote around the castle!” Shaun smiled at him. Tony grinned around the pacifier, nodding enthusiastically.

 “Ok, let’s get one of your pool diapers on and some swim trunks, ok?.” Shaun eased him back on the carpeted floor and tugged the snaps of his onesie open so he could take off the dry diaper Tony was wearing. He folded it up to discard and tugged one of the water approved diapers over Tony’s feet. These diapers were more like pull-ups, but wouldn’t swell like a normal diaper when he got it wet. Tony liked them because they were blue and had starfish and seahorses on them. “Hips up, Munchkin.”

Tony planted his feet flat and lifted his hips, letting Shaun pull the diaper over hips and settle it in place. When the diaper was secure, Shaun had Tony lift his feet for his swim trunks and repeat the process with his hips. Tony liked his swim trunks too, they were bright green with yellow cartoon suns on them. They matched his swim shirt that was bright green with one big yellow cartoon sun that was smiling and wearing sunglasses. They were his favorite because he got to sit with Shaun and pick them out on the StarkPad and Shaun let him help open them when the package finally came.

“Ok, lets get your shirt on.” Shaun helped him sit up and pulled the shirt over his head, then helped guide Tony’s arms into the right holes. “Good job!” Shaun praised. 

Tony really liked it when Shaun told him what a good job he did. He couldn’t remember a lot of people in his life telling him ‘good job’, not since he made Obi mad. Obi had always said he did good jobs, but the things Tony had done that were good jobs had hurt people. It was hard to feel good about doing a good job when people got hurt. When Shaun told him he did a good job, it was for nice things. Things like putting his blocks back right, coloring a pretty picture and staying mostly inside the lines, or being a good helper. Tony liked that a lot better.

Shaun gathered up the beach toys, still by the door from previous trips down to the water and took Tony’s hand, leading him past the pool and towards the private beach access. The beach house was set on a beautiful white sand beach, no other houses within sight. One of the benefits of the house was guaranteed privacy for those that could afford to purchase a house in the islands. There was a large cabana on the beach, far enough from the water to avoid the tides, but close enough to the water to be convenient. The cabana offered much needed shade in a big enough patch that Tony could play in the sand without risking sunburn.

Shaun sat the bag of toys in the shade and pulled out a tube of sunscreen. “Come on Munchkin, lets get some sunscreen on.” Shaun squeezed sunscreen into his hands, coating them and moving towards Tony.

Tony scrunched up his nose and pulled his face back. “Slimy!”

Shaun chuckled. “I know it is, but we can’t let you get a sunburn. It won’t be slimy for long, I promise. Let me see your face.” Tony pouted but held still while Shaun rubbed sunscreen onto his face and over his ears. The swim shirt was long sleeved and protected Tony’s back and shoulders from the sun. Shaun rubbed sunscreen on his own face and arms, his short sleeve shirt not offering protection for his arms.

Shaun emptied the bag of toys in the sand and sat with Tony, handing him a shovel and bucket to use as a mold for the towers in the sand. Tony loved when Shaun played with him, it made him feel like the center of the world. Shaun was always willing to listen and play with Tony, offering encouragement and praise constantly. Tony craved the contact and attention.

“Do you remember what we talked about on the plane when we were coming here, Tony?” Shaun asked, holding the bucket still for Tony to fill with sand.

Tony frowned, thinking about it. “Steve?” He asked after a minute, frowning.

“That’s right! And how maybe Steve might want to spend some time playing with you?” Shaun asked gently.

“Knows I’m a baby.” Tony whispered, looking down at his hands as he stops scooping sand into the bucket.

“Yes he does, that’s why he wants to spend some time playing with you.” Shaun explained.

Tony didn’t say anything for a few minutes, shoveling more sand into the bucket. When it was full Shaun helped him turn it upside down where Tony pointed to add another tower of sand to the collection of towers. 

“Build castles with me?” Tony asked, looking up at Shaun through thick lashes. 

Shaun smiled and ruffled his hair gently. “I bet he’d like that very much. He could help you build a castle with all your blocks. Maybe you guys could color together too!” 

Tony grinned, he liked to color and draw. Shaun colored and drew with him, but it might be nice to have somebody else to color with. Maybe Steve would have different coloring books with new pictures.

“Does that sound ok, sweetheart? Can he come play with you?” Shaun asked again.

Tony nodded, never looking up from the tower shaped bucket he was packing with sand. “Play with Steve.” 

Shaun ruffled Tony's hair again, making Tony giggle. “Ok, Munchkin, we’ll tell Steve when we get home. Now, how about we go get some water in the buckets for a mote?”

“Mote!” Tony agreed excitedly, grabbing another bucket and trying to get to his feet. Between the loose sand and the diaper widening his gate he struggled to get his feet under him. Shaun reached out with both hands, steadying him, laughing softly as he helped Tony to stand the rest of the way up. 

Tony toddled his way towards the water, bucket in hand, Shaun hot on his heels with both hands on either side of him to steady Tony if necessary. When they reached the water Shaun crowded closer to Tony, making sure he wouldn’t fall in. Tony was still a little unsure how he felt about water. He knew Shaun wouldn’t let it hurt him, but he was still nervous about it touching his face. He really hated water touching his face. 

Shaun put a hand on each of Tony’s hips as he bent forward to dip the bucket into the water to fill. Tony brought the filled bucket up with him as he straightened, grinning at Shaun as he held it up to show him.

“Good job!” Shaun enthused, smiling at Tony as he turned them back towards the cabana.

Tony loved this beach house, loved his vacations with Shaun, and building sand castles. Maybe if Steve was a good castle builder with blocks, he could come with them on vacation next time and build castles in the sand too. 

Tony was drowning in work. He and Shaun had gotten back from the beach house Monday afternoon and weren’t scheduled for a play session again until the weekend. It was going to take Tony that long to catch up on everything that he had fallen behind on between avoiding Steve in Malibu for a good part of the week before and then leaving for the beach house for the weekend. Tony was still firmly of the opinion that it was worth it. Even if he hadn’t slept in the two days he’d been back and was living off a combination of coffee and the junk food he found stashed in his lab. He had a business meeting scheduled for the next day with a rep from a marketing firm trying to get some of SI’s business at an upscale restaurant. He was thrilled about that meeting because it would be the first actual meal he’d eaten since Shaun had fed him breakfast before they went to the airport on Monday. Thankfully he had been able to keep up with some of the work remotely in Malibu, or he never would have been able to catch up.

His StarkPhone buzzed on the bench next to him and closed his eyes, dropping his head into his hands. Coulson had been sending him messages since he’d turned his phone back on at the airport in New York, and had kept up a steady stream of increasingly demanding messages since. The man wanted him at team meetings, wanted to know how the upgrades on Natasha and Clint’s weapons were coming along and when they would be done, and also wanted to know why he had missed team practice the day before. All of that on top of the deadlines he was under for updates for the R&D department at SI, the business meetings he needed to catch up on from last week, and the never ending barrage of paperwork in need of his signature that Pepper sent down to the lab. Tony had really hoped that making her CEO would have cut down on that, and it had, but not nearly as much as he had been hoping.

“Jarvis, silence incoming messages from Coulson. Send him an email letting him know I’m available for Avenger related emergencies and I’m fine with being on the roster, but until I’m caught up with SI business, he needs to back off on the Avenger busy work front.” Tony said tiredly.

“Of course, Sir.” Jarvis said immediately.

“Thank you, buddy. You’re the best.” Tony smiled.

“I do try, Sir. May I suggest taking a break? Or perhaps a meal?” Jarvis’ voice came from everywhere and nowhere.

“I wish I could, J. But I’ve got to get this done. Run that simulation again with the new parameters. See if we can get farther in before it glitches on us.” Tony picked up the coffee cup nearest to him to take a sip, looked into the cup when no coffee came out, and started picking up random coffee cups until he found one that still had liquid in it.

“Tony?” Tony twitched, dropping the mug he was holding.

“Jesus, Rogers. Knock next time.” Tony grumbled, righting the mug on the bench. He’d polished off the last of the coffee in it, so at least there wasn’t a mess to clean up. He looked up from his work bench and raised an eyebrow. “Here to yell at me too?”

“Too? Who’s yelling at you, Tony?” Steve asked, walking further into the lab.

“Coulson. I figured he sent you down to drag me to team practice or twist my arm until I coughed up new Widow bites.” Tony snarked.

“Tony, the tech that you make us is great. We appreciate everything you give us. But Shield has its own R&D department for that, Stark Industries isn’t responsible for upgrades. You aren’t responsible for our upgrades.” Steve said firmly.

Tony looked up at him. That was not what he had been expecting. “Tell that to Coulson.”

“I will.” Steve assured him.

“I … thanks Cap. I’m sorry, I want to do it. I don’t mind doing it. I’m just kind of drowning at the moment, I’ve got to get this stuff done before I can even think about tinkering for fun.” Tony gesture at the lab in general, indicating the sheer amount of everything that he needed to get done. He’d been expecting Steve to come into the lab making demands, but the lack of expectation from Steve had taken what little wind he had out of his sails.

“You’ve got a lot on your plate, Tony. We all know that, we can see your schedule. It’s amazing that you find time to do anything for yourself.” Steve said gently.

“Well I made quite a bit of time for myself last week, and that’s exactly why I’m in the position that I’m currently in.” Tony chuckled.

“Well, you had your reasons. Part of that is on me. I actually wanted to talk to you about that, if you have a minute.” Steve looked unsure how welcome that conversation would be, and Tony still wasn’t sure how he felt about it himself.

“It’s fine, Cap. I uh … appreciate your discretion with that.” Tony couldn’t meet Steve’s eyes as he said it.

“I’m sorry, Tony. I had no right to invade your privacy like that. I knew you were sick and wanted to check on you, make sure you didn’t need anything. When you didn’t answer and I couldn’t find you, even though Jarvis said you were in the penthouse, I was really worried. Then I heard crying and I just reacted. That doesn’t excuse what I did though, using my override code to get into your personal space like that was still wrong.” Steve looked so earnest as he said it, and Tony knew he wasn’t lying. Steve had thought he’s been in distress, was trying to come to his aid. As embarrassing as the whole thing had been, Tony really couldn’t be mad about that.

“Jarvis monitors me, Cap. If I had been in distress he would have called for help. I get why you did it, but just so you know in the future, he’s not going to let me go without help.” Tony assured. They were still dancing around the elephant in the room for as long as they could, they both knew it. One of them was going to have to acknowledge it.

“What I walked in on … ” Steve trailed off. It looked like he was going to be the one to bite the bullet. “I’ve done a lot of reading over the last week.”

“I know.” Tony said quietly.

Steve jerked his head up at that statement.

“I had Jarvis watching and listening for keywords. I wanted to make sure that you didn’t go to Coulson or anybody else about this.” Tony admitted.

“That’s kind of an invasion of my privacy, Tony.” Steve chided. Tony thought he looked a little disgruntled about the information, but not angry. That was good, Tony really didn’t want this to turn into an argument.

“It was.” Tony agreed. If Steve could take responsibility, then so could Tony.

“Was I looking in the right places?” Steve asked curiously.

“There were a few questionable sources in the beginning, but you eventually found your way to some good information. Full disclosure here Cap, Shaun and I had a couple of discussions about you over the weekend.” If they were going to do this, they needed everything on the table. Tony wasn’t usually one for good communication, he honestly thought he was pretty terrible at it. When it came to his age playing though, communication was mandatory. He knew how to talk about this, to communicate what he wanted and needed, what he expected and what he would not tolerate. If Steve was going to step into this world with him, then they needed to be on the same page down to the same sentence.

“He’s very protective of you. Wouldn’t say anything about you or what he did with you.” Steve smiled, amused.

“Well with the number of NDA’s that man’s signed, I would hope not!” Tony chuckled.

“Is he your caregiver, Tony?” Steve asked bluntly.

“Yes. He has been for a few years now.” Tony admitted. 

“I asked him to introduce me to someone. I know I have to be just as careful as you are about this, and I figured if you trust him, then I could too. He explained about how he's like a … foster parent. Just taking care of people until they find a caregiver. He asked me if, hypothetically of course, you were into this too if I'd want to spend some time getting to know you. I would Tony. I'd like to spend some time with you as a little. Obviously I'm not experienced with this, but I want to learn. If that's something you'd be ok with.” Steve kept eye contact as he said it, but he shifted his weight from foot to foot. 

Tony knew Steve was a naturally confident man. Even waking up in a new century and being completely out of his depth had not cowed him at all. Steve met every day, every challenge, with his head held high. Steve was putting himself out there telling Tony this, Tony could see the edge of uncertainty in his posture, but that didn't stop him from saying it. Didn't stop him from opening himself up to Tony, and asking Tony to do the same in return. 

“I have rules.” Tony said quietly. 

“Of course!” Steve agreed quickly. He leaned in, not moving closer to Tony, just opening his posture in his excitement. 

“I'm not Iron Man when I'm being little. And I don't want to be little around Captain America. One of the reasons I do this Steve, is because I need a break from Iron Man and the Avengers. I need away from Stark Industries and deadlines and meetings. I can't have that brought into this. It stays at the door, and if you can't leave it at the door, then I can't let you in.” Tony said firmly. 

“I think I could use a break from Captain America myself.” Steve nodded. 

“Shaun would be there the whole time. He knows what's ok and what's not. He's my caregiver, and you're just visiting. If he says it's ok for you to do something, that's fine, I trust him to make that call when I'm in my headspace. But mostly for the time being you'd just be there to play with me, interact with me, not really care for me.” Tony continued, laying out clearly what Steve could expect. 

“I understand, Tony. I'd love to play with you when you were little. I'd like to help take care of you too, but I won't push. Whatever Shaun says is ok, I'll stick to that.” Steve smiled. Tony could see the excitement and genuine pleasure inn his face at the idea. 

“I'm very little, Steve. You get that, right? I generally fall in the 0 to 2 age group.” Tony said quietly. He'd rather get that out in the open now, give Steve a chance to back out before they interacted while Tony was in his headspace if that was going to be a problem. 

Steve smiled. “I was drawn more towards babies in everything I read. I wouldn't mind a little bit older of a little, but part of what draws me to this is being needed. I want someone to need me, I want to take care of someone, to be depended on. Nobody really needs Steve Rogers anymore. It would be nice if that changed.”

Tony could understand that. He really wanted to depend on someone in his little headspace. He could count on one hand the number of people throughout his life he had truly been able to depend on and still have some fingers left over. It was part of what had drawn Tony to age playing in the first place, knowing with the right caregiver he could let go, let himself depend on someone to take care of him and not be left disappointed like he had been left disappointed so many times in his life by people who were important to him. 

“I’m generally well behaved. What you saw before … well I was sick. I was miserable and cranky, I’m not usually like that when I’m in my headspace. I’m really big on being praised and getting affection, so I want to be good when I’m little, not just be a crying mess all the time.” Tony felt like he needed to add that, to make sure that Steve understood. The only opinion Steve had on Tony’s little side was of a few minutes witnessed when Tony was truly at his worst. By the time Steve had barged in on them Tony had been sleep deprived, in pain, and his head had been further mottled by fever. It was not a great first impression. 

“Tony, nobody is at their best when they’re sick. I completely understand. And honestly, even as bad as I’m sure you felt, you were pretty adorable.” Steve confided. 

Tony blushed and ducked his head. “Whatever, Rogers.”

Steve laughed and stepped closer, dropping a hand lightly on Tony's shoulder. “I’m not trying to embarrass you, Tony.”

“Please, like you could embarrass me. I’m bulletproof in the shame department, Cap.” Tony said dismissively. “Saturday, in the afternoon. I should be pretty settled in by then, so you can come visit. Jarvis will let you into the penthouse, knock on the apartment door.”

“You usually have appointments before then.” Steve frowned.

“Yeah well, that was before I ran away for a week. I worked remotely from Malibu, but I’m so far behind I can’t afford to take a break until I’m caught up. I’ve got enough work for five of me, but alas, there is but one Tony Stark.” Tony sighed, rubbing his hand over his eyes. He was so tired. 

“I meant it when I said I’m going to tell Coulson to back off. I wish you wouldn’t miss team practice, but only because I worry about safety in the field. We know you’re a busy man, Tony.” Steve said gently. 

“Knowing and caring are two completely different things, Cap. I know you care, and I think the rest of the team does too. But Shield does not give a single fuck about how busy I am. They care about results, and right now I’m not producing results.” Tony waved a hand at the work bench behind him, scattered with pieces and parts of tech from multiple projects. None of them were Shield projects, everything on the bench was for SI. 

Tony had agreed to upgrades for Clint and Natasha when the team had solidified into a unit and moved into the tower. Fury had jumped all over what he saw as an opportunity. If Tony was going to produce weapons for the Avengers, why not produce them for all of Shield? Tony had stood firm on his stance that Stark Industries was no longer producing weapons, but that didn’t stop the pressure from Fury. Give the man an inch and he was determined to take a mile. Tony had a folder full of requests from Shield, the only ones being entertained though were for defensive projects. Upgrades to security, better body armor, medical equipment. It was like Fury thought if he slipped in requests for weapons among the mass amounts of non lethal requests Tony wouldn’t notice. 

“I can have a conversation about that with Coulson too. And if need be I’ll have that conversation with Fury himself.” Steve said, aggravation on Tony’s behalf clear on his face. 

“I don’t need you fighting my battles for me, Cap.” Tony argued. 

“I’m the team leader, Tony. This isn’t me fighting your battles. This is the chain of command at work. You’ve brought a problem to your direct supervisor on the team, and I’m going to take it from here. That's all this is.” Steve squares his shoulders and put his hands on his hips, full Captain America stance on display.

Tony snorted, and waved a hand in Steve's general direction. “Yeah, Cap. You do that. I’m gonna go back to … whatever I was working on, as soon as I remember which one of these I was working on.” 

“I believe you were working on the project you started with Dr. Banner.” Jarvis supplied helpfully. 

“Yes! That! I’m going back to that.” Tony had already turned himself back towards the bench, rooting through the items on the table and dismissing Steve's presence from his thoughts. 

“I’ll see you Saturday.” Tony heard as Steve made his way out of the lab. Tony nodded absently as he grabbed a screwdriver and started tinkering. If he finished the project in the next few days Pepper would be able to present it to the board at the next meeting. That should get everyone off his back for a few weeks.

Chapter Text

Steve stayed behind in the conference room after the team meeting had adjourned. He had tried to stop by Phil's office a few times in the last couple of days, but he was always either out or in the middle of a phone call. Steve didn’t want to interrupt, so he'd waved vaguely at Phil to indicate he would come back later. 

“Is there something you needed, Captain?” Phil asked, sitting back down in his chair at the head of the conference table. 

“Yes. I’d like to talk to you about the demands Shield is making of Tony.” Steve said, taking a seat close to Phil.

Phil frowned slightly, cocking his head at Steve. “Demands? I wasn't aware Shield was making demands of Stark.”

Steve chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Well, they’re strongly worded requests, if you want to get really technical about it.”

“Ah.” Phil nodded, understanding dawning. 

“He’s a busy man, Coulson. And he’s made his stance on weapons manufacturing very clear.” Steve could see where there were some conflicting opinions on where Tony stood on manufacturing weapons. He refused to go back to having Stark Industry producing and supplying weapons, yet Tony himself built weapons for his armor and made adjustments to the teams weapons. It could be construed as going back on what he'd said, but anybody who knew Tony knew that wasn’t the case. Tony knew where every weapon he made now was, in whose hands it was in, and what it was being used for. That didn’t stop some people from speculating though. 

“Yes he has. But the higher ups aren’t going to give up that easily. I know as well as you do he's not going to make any of the things they’re asking for, Captain. But I’m still obligated to pass along the requests.” Phil explained, giving an apologetic shrug. 

“He’s drowning in those requests, Coulson. Between the demands from Stark Industry, taking care of the team, and what Shield is asking for, his inbox is a nightmare. If you know he's not going to do it, I don’t see why we need to overwhelm him with the requests.” Steve argued. 

“I know he is. I’ve talked to Miss Potts about the problem. But if I route them to her instead, then they just get routed from her to Tony . Either way it ends up on his desk for him to say yes or no to. She's taken over a lot of his duties since she became CEO, but Stark is still heading up the R&D department of SI. And that’s where all of those requests go.” Phil said, leaning back in his chair and looking at Steve.

Steve sighed and leaned back in his chair as well. “Alright. So let’s come at this a different way then. All of these contracts and requests they’re sending, these all fall under Tony’s position as a consultant, not as his position on the Avenger's, right?” Steve asked.

“Correct.” Phil agreed slowly, trying to see where Steve was going with his line of questioning. 

“So they need to be handled as such. Tony’s consulting hours are every other Thursday from 13:00 to 15:00. If they want to make requests, they need to make them through the proper channels. Make an appointment, and pay the consulting fee regardless of whether Tony agrees to the requests or not.” Steve said firmly. 

After leaving Tony’s lab the other day, Steve had taken another look at Tony’s schedule. His consulting calendar was booked out for six months, which was probably the reason that Shield was filtering the requests through the teams handler and not through the proper channels to begin with. They’d found a way around Tony’s waiting list and were taking full advantage of it. 

Phil smiled at Steve, an amused gleam in his eyes. “The Director and the WSC is not going to like that.”

“They can not like it while they wait in line like every other person wanting a consult with Stark.” Steve said, not an ounce of regret in his voice. 

Phil chuckled and shook his head. “I’m surprised Tony came to you with that. It's good progress for him as far as integrating into the team.”

“Well technically he didn’t come to me with it. I was in his lab and he mentioned it, I offered to put a stop to it. He resisted at first, but let it go. So I still think it’s good progress.” Steve said. Tony was still hesitant to open up to the team, even if Steve did understand the reasons behind it now, he still wanted to foster any progress Tony made. 

“Agreed.” Phil shuffled some of the folders on the table in front of him into a neat pile. “I meant to ask you, did you ever talk to Tony about his massage therapist?” 

“I didn't, but I caught Shaun in the elevator and got a business card from him.” Steve didn’t elaborate, sticking with minimal true information. He didn’t want to lie to Phil or any of his other teammates, but he wasn’t about to offer up information they didn’t specifically ask for either.

If he was going to start spending time with Shaun and Tony he knew eventually the team would notice. He did live with two spies after all, Steve was pretty sure the only reason Phil hadn’t caught on to Shaun’s overnight stays was because the man had chosen to keep his own apartment closer to Shield headquarters. He was also going to have to have to talk to Tony about what the rest of the team thought was going on between him and Shaun. Steve wasn’t sure if it would be best to let them keep thinking what they wanted to avoid them getting curious about the real reason Shaun stayed overnight, or try to come up with a better reason to explain it. Steve was going to let Tony make that call. 

“Well that worked out nicely then.” Phil stood from his chair, gathering his files to leave the conference room. 

Steve stood with him, gathering his own paperwork and followed Phil out. “Yeah, it did.”

Steve was nervous. He'd been nervous all morning. He'd made a terrible first impression when he'd interacted with Tony in his little headspace for the first time. Steve could only imagine how scared Tony had been when he was already sick and not feeling well, and Steve had broken down a door to get into the apartment. Steve didn’t want that impression to color future interaction with Tony in his little headspace. Today, Steve was going to interact with Tony in his headspace for the second time, and he was determined to make it a happy, positive, fun experience for Tony.

Steve had spend quite a bit of time on Amazon the day Tony agreed to let Steve play with him, trying to find something he could do with Tony that he would like. He avoided anything Avenger related, and looked for things he could do with Tony, not just give Tony to play with on his own.  He looked for age appropriate toys, read review after review, and consulted message boards for parents that discussed toys and interactive activities. He finally settled on Play-Doh. It was non toxic, non allergenic, and non irritating according to the manufacturers website. And if Tony did like playing with it, there were recipes online to make Play-Doh at home from scratch. That could definitely be a fun activity for them to do in the future if things worked out the way Steve hoped they would. 

Steve spent hours on Amazon looking at the incredibly large selection of Play-Doh playsets before settling on a jungle themed set. That had seemed to be the theme for the nursery Steve had glimpsed briefly, so he was hoping it would go over well. He had also added an extra tub of Play-Doh and a play mat to his shopping cart before checking out. With next day shipping, the toys had arrived in plenty of time and the standard Amazon box hadn’t raised any flags when it had been delivered. 

Steve gathered up the toys and put them back in the Amazon box to take up to the penthouse with him. Tony had said afternoon, so Steve had fidgeted his way through his morning, made himself lunch, and then waited a couple more hours. He wasn’t sure if Tony napped after lunch, so he waited what he thought was an appropriate time to allow for that just in case. A little after two, Steve decided that he'd waited long enough and left his apartment to head up to the penthouse, Amazon box in his arms. 

Steve stepped into the elevator and looked up out of habit. “The penthouse please, Jarvis.”

“Of course, Captain. You’re expected.” Jarvis said politely. 

“Thank you, Jarvis.” Steve shifted the box in his hands, wondering if the gift was too much. Or not enough. Tony was a wealthy man, the apartment had been well stocked from what Steve had seen. What if Tony already had the playset? What if Tony thought the playset was silly and cheap? It had been cheap, but a lot of the sets had been. Maybe it was a bad idea.

The elevator opened into the penthouse, and Steve took a deep breath before stepping out. Bad idea or not, it was too late now. He was there and he had the playset. Steve walked down the hallway, towards Tony's bedroom. It was still odd to him, thinking he was going to an apartment inside of an apartment. Steve smiled to himself, it really was just a Tony thing to do.

Steve noticed the new door immediately. It was much heavier than the previous door had been, sturdier and stronger looking. It still looked like a closet door, but Steve could tell if he tried to shoulder his way through this one it would take more effort. Steve approached the door and took a deep breath. He'd been waiting all week for this, had been looking forward to the opportunity Tony was giving him. This experience was going to be a good thing, it would tell him if everything that had appealed to him in theory translated into reality. If being a caregiver was going to feel as rewarding as Steve thought it would. Steve raised his hand and knocked on the door. 

Steve waited anxiously for what felt like hours, but in reality was only a couple of minutes before the door opened. Shaun stood on the other side of the door, the scrubs he had arrived in the tower in replaced with jeans and a soft looking t-shirt. He smiled at Steve and stepped back from the door, letting Steve into the small apartment.

“Hey Steve, I’m glad you could make it.” Shaun smiled at him. “Tony’s been a little anxious this afternoon.” 

“Thanks for having me. I’ve been a little nervous myself.” Steve stepped past Shaun further into the apartment, shifting the box in his arms. “I hope it's ok, but I brought something for Tony that I thought we could play with.” 

“Bribing the baby already, Steve?” Shaun said with an amused chuckle. 

“I scared him the last time I was here.” Steve said softly. 

“Steve, he's fine. It startled him, but we’ve talked about it and he understands what happened. Kids are resilient.” Shaun assured.  “So, what did you get him?”

“It’s a jungle Play-Doh playset. It had good reviews for kids his age, I thought it might go over well with littles too.” Some of Steve’s nervousness about the gift came through in Steve’s voice. 

“He's going to love that, Steve. But you brought it, so you get to clean it up!” Shaun laughed. 

Steve set the box down on the table in the little kitchen. “You say that like you know something I don’t.”

“I know how hard it is to get Play-Doh out of carpeting. I have a feeling you’re about to learn.” Shaun smiled, amusement clear on his face. 

“I got a playmate too.” Steve assured. 

Shaun chuckled. “Well see how long the Play-Doh stays on the playmate.”

“Shaun! Look, robot!” Steve and Shaun both turned towards the living room at the sound of Tony’s excited shout. Tony was sitting on the rug in the living room, Legos spread out all around him. He was dressed differently from the last time Steve saw him, wearing a blue Bob the Builder t-shirt and shorts. There was a pacifier clipped to the front of his shirt that had been abandoned in his excitement over the Lego robot he was waving in their direction.

“Wow! That’s a great robot, sweetheart!” Shaun smiled and walked towards the living room. Steve followed, watching their interaction closely.

“Look who came to see you, Tony.” Shaun sat down on the rug next to Tony and gestured for Steve to sit down too.

Steve took a seat across from them, smiling at Tony softy. “Hey buddy, that's a really great robot you built. Does he have a name?”

Tony scooted a little closer to Shaun but never took his eyes off Steve. He nodded his head shyly, fidgeting with the robot in his hands.

“Can you say hi to Steve?” Shaun encouraged. 

“Hi Stebe.” Tony said softly.

Steve’s heart melted a little when Tony mispronounced his name. It might very well have been the cutest thing Steve had ever heard. “Hi Tony.”

Tony ducked his head and pushed it against Shaun’s shoulder, hiding his face. Shaun wrapped an arm around his waist, offering comfort. Steve knew this was knew and scary for Tony, had been prepared for the possibility that it may take a little time for Tony to adjust to Steve being present while Tony was in his little headspace. The shy little boy in front of him was still a little surprising though. Tony was generally a very outgoing and outspoken man, he had been expecting that to translate over into his little headspace. As surprising as it was, it was also very endearing. Tony was adorable hiding his face against Shaun and holding his Lego robot to his chest.

“He can be a little shy, but he warms up fast. Hey Tony, Steve brought something with him that he thought you might like to play with. Want to see what he brought?” Shaun gently pulled Tony’s fingers from his mouth where he had started sucking on them and replaced it with the pacifier that was dangling from the clip on his t-shirt.

Tony perked up at that, peeking shyly up at Steve from under his long lashes. He nodded, looking past Steve to try and get a glimpse of what Steve brought with him. Steve smiled, suddenly very glad he’d brought the playset. Maybe it would break the ice and help bring Tony out of his shyness. Steve stood up and went back to the kitchen, grabbing the box from the kitchen table and bringing it back to the living room with him. Steve sat back down across from Tony with the box in his lap.

“You want to open the box, or do you want me to?” Steve asked him.

“I do it!” Tony said, reaching across the small pile of Legos for the box Steve had.

Steve held out the box, setting it on top of the Lego pile for Tony to dig into. The box wasn’t sealed, the flaps just laying closed. Tony made quick work of it, pulling the flaps open to pull out the boxes inside. He pulled out the play mat first, looking at it for a few seconds before discarding it in favor of the possibility for something more exciting still being inside the bigger box. The jungle Play-Doh playset came out next, and that kept Tony’s attention. He held the box up, looking at the brightly colored pictures on the box. Tony held it up for Shaun to see, pointing at the pictures.

“Play with it?” Tony said around his pacifier.

Steve looked confused, raising his eyebrows in question to Shaun.

“You’ll learn to speak pacifier. He wants to know if he can play with it.” Shaun chuckled.

Steve pulled the variety pack of Play-Doh colors out of the Amazon box and held it out to Tony. Tony’s eyes got big as he looked between the playset in his right hand, the Lego robot in his left hand, and back at the variety pack Steve was holding out to him. Steve chuckled at Tony’s obvious predicament and sat the variety pack in Tony’s lap.

“Ok sweetheart, let’s clean up the Lego’s and we can play with the Play-Doh with Steve, ok? You have to get all the Lego’s put away before we open the Play-Doh though.” Shaun said.

Tony nodded eagerly, setting his robot and playset to the side. He pulled a bucket from behind him and started picking up the scattered Lego’s, putting them in the bucket. Steve set the box aside and started gathering up Lego’s, helping Tony clear the rug. 

“I’ll get rid of the boxes. Tony can you show Steve where the Lego’s go in your room when you get them all put up?” Shaun stood up, grabbing the Amazon box as well as the Play-Doh boxes.

“Uh huh.” Tony mumbled around his pacifier.

“That’s a really neat robot you made Tony. Are you going to keep him together or take him apart?” Steve asked.

“Gonna keep him.” Tony say.

Shaun was right, if Steve tried he could make out some of what Tony said around the pacifier and guess at the rest. The two of them worked together, making quick work of the Legos on the floor. When they were all in the bucket, Tony picked up a lid and covered the bucket.

“Can you show me where these go?” Steve asked, picking up the bucket. 

“Uh huh. My room.” Tony got to his feet, bracing himself with one hand and clutching the Lego robot in the other.  Steve noticed his gait was slightly widened and his shorts looked padded around his bottom. He hadn’t noticed when Tony was sitting, but watching him toddle towards the bedroom Steve was certain he was wearing a diaper under his shorts. 

Steve followed Tony into the nursery. As Steve looked around, he knew there wasn’t any other word for it. There was a crib that was the size of a twin sized bed in one corner of the room. A padded table that was almost as long as a twin sized bed, but more narrow, and Steve could see diapers, wet wipes, powder, and a few changes of clothing folded in the shelving under it, against another wall. The whole room was decorated in a jungle themed mural that wound its way across all of the walls. There were book cases of shelves that held books and toys, a chest that Steve thought might also contain toys.

Tony reached for Steve, taking his hand and tugging him towards one of the book cases pointed at an empty spot on the shelf. Steve got the idea, placing the bucket of Legos on the shelf.

“Where are you going to put your robot?” Steve asked. 

Tony held up the robot, looking at it in consideration. Watching Tony suck reflexively on the pacifier in his mouth while considering the robot made Steve realize this was less awkward than Steve had feared it might be. Yes, Tony was a grown man dressed in childish clothing, sucking on a pacifier, wearing a diaper, and acting like a small toddler. The look on Tony’s face though, was natural and easy. As shy as Tony had been when Steve walked in, there was still a comfort level and confidence shining through that Steve could read easily. Tony wasn’t ashamed of how he was acting, what he was doing. Tony’s confidence was infectious, making Steve feel confident in his ability to play the part of a caregiver. If Tony was comfortable, Steve could be comfortable too. Steve was suddenly very grateful to both Tony and Shaun for inviting him in. He didn’t want to think about himself awkwardly trying to start this with someone as new as he himself was. 

Tony pointed to the top of the bookshelf, pulling Steve out of his own thoughts. There were a few other toys made of Legos sitting there, a small collection it looked like Tony had made. 

“Think he should go up there with his friends?” Steve asked. 

Tony nodded, handing Steve his robot expectantly. Steve smiled and took the robot, placing him gently on the shelf next to Tony’s other creations. 

“Do you want to show me the rest of your room?” Steve asked.

Tony's eyes brightened and he wiggled a little in excitement as he nodded. Tony grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the chest against one wall. He let go of Steve’s hand to lift the top of the chest. The wood was beautiful, Steve was pretty sure it was hand carved. Inside the chest were more toys, an assortment of fire trucks and dump trucks, there was a tractor and a little trailer that could be attached to it. There were soft looking plastic farm animals and what looked like little farm buildings. Maybe a barn and a little log house? Steve thought if he set all of the toys in the chest on the floor he could probably built a small city out of them.

“Are these your favorites?” Steve asked.

“No. Only play with these sometimes.” Tony told him. He grabbed Steve’s hand again and tugged him back across the room to another set of shelves with more toys. 

“My favorites.” Tony pointed. 

The shelves were filled with labeled plastic boxes with lids, all organized one high on every shelf. The boxes had labels like ‘Tinker Toys', ‘Kinnex' and ‘Linkin Logs' on them. 

“Yeah? How come they’re your favorite?” Steve asked. 

“Build stuff!” Tony said excitedly. 

“You like to build stuff, huh?” Steve smiled down at Tony.

Tony nodded enthusiastically, pointing to the top shelf that, like the other book cases it had some of the things that Tony had obviously built and wanted to keep displayed on top. Steve reached out to gently examine some of them. They were obviously well beyond what an actual toddler would be able to create, but they were far from the intricate things Tony was capable of creating. Even in his little mindset, Tony's ingenuity and genius was obvious. 

“These are really great, Tony! You’re such a smart little boy, aren’t you?” Steve's hand was gently ruffling Tony’s hair before he was really aware of what he was doing, but Tony didn’t seem to mind at all. He preened happily under the compliment and smiled around his pacifier, his cheeks flushing. Steve thought he was absolutely adorable.

Tony reached for one of the containers on the shelves, starting to pull it off. Steve had a brief moment where he wasn’t sure what to do. They had said they were going to put Tony's toys away while Shaun got the Play-Doh ready, but Tony was obviously distracted by what was right in front of him. It wasn’t really Steve’s place to tell Tony to put the toys back. Steve figured his best option was probably distraction. 

“Hey, buddy, what about the Play-Doh? Don’t you want to help me make some animals?” Steve asked. He held his hand out for Tony to take if he wanted to. 

Tony lost interest in the building toys as quickly as he’d gained interest in them. He pushed the container back onto the shelf and took Steve’s hand. “Doh?”

“Yep! Let’s go see if Shaun has everything ready for us, ok?” Steve guided Tony out of the nursery, shortening his steps to accommodate both Tony’s smaller steps and the toddle the diaper gave him.

When they got back to the living room Shaun was already sitting on the floor with everything spread out in front of him. The mat wasn’t quite as big as Steve had expected it to be, but he thought it would contain most of the mess as advertised. Shaun had taken everything out of the boxes and had spread out the containers of Play-Doh and all of the plastic tools the playset had come with. Tony sped up when he caught sight of everything spread out on the floor. 

Steve let go of Tony’s hand and watched him make his way to Shaun. He settled next to Shaun in front of the mat and looked back at Steve. Tony patted the floor next to him before grabbing a plastic container of Play-Doh. Steve sat down next to Tony and helped him open the container. He opened a few more and sat them down within easy reach for him.

“How are you doing Steve?” Shaun asked. He helped Tony pull out the Play-Doh and showed him how to load it into one of the tools that would extrude different shapes of Play-Doh based on which slide Tony loaded it with.

“I’m good.” Steve smiled. “He’s so … open. Comfortable. I’ve never seen him like this.”

“It’s one of the most important things I think Tony gets from doing this, honestly.” Shaun agreed.

“We’re not going to … mess this up for him talking like this, are we?” Steve asked, concerned.

“No, not talking like this. He can be pulled out of his headspace, but it would take something upsetting him.” Shaun assured. 

Steve took some Play-Doh and started working it in his hands while Tony made different colored strands to place on top of the plastic tree that came with the playset. He’d never really been one for sculpting, but he figured he could make something that passed for a jungle animal to add to Tony’s tree.

“He seems to be warming up to me pretty quick.” Steve thought his brown blob of Play-Doh was starting to look kind of like a monkey.

“He’s always been a really friendly baby. Very affectionate, loves attention and praise. He doesn’t get a lot of that when he’s big.” Shaun ran a hand over Tony’s hair while he talked. Tony’s attention was still firmly on the squishy mess he was making in front of him, but he leaned into the touch.

Steve tried to remember the last time he saw someone touching Tony and couldn’t think of anything outside of their team training sessions. Those touches didn’t count as anything resembling affectionate, most of team practice was spent taking turns pummeling each other in the name of not being pummeled by the enemy in the field. Steve couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard anyone tell Tony he had done a good job either. Steve always made a point at every team practice to tell everyone they did a good job, but that was always as a team. He never singled anyone out, instead treating them as one cohesive unit.

Steve could understand the desire for physical contact. He felt it himself often enough. Since coming out of the ice he’d been sorely lacking in physical contact himself. His own physical interactions with other people were right along with Tony’s. Steve thought about what it would be like to hold Tony, to rock him in the rocking chair. The image was soothing in a way Steve hadn’t known it could be.

“How long have you been his caregiver?” Steve took some of the pinkish colored Play-Doh and added it into the ears and stomach of the monkey.

“I’ve been seeing Tony for six years now.” Shaun helped Tony load more Play-Doh into the little plastic tool. At this point, it looked like Tony had lost interest in making a topping for the tree and was just delighting in the ever-growing pile of squished Play-Doh in front of him. He’d so far managed to keep it confined to the play mat and didn’t seem to be paying either of them any attention as they talked over him.

“That’s a long time. How did you meet?” Steve was curious. He’d read about how people in the local ageplay community met, but he didn’t think Tony had taken any of those avenues. Tony was too high profile for that.

“A friend of mine is a therapist. He gave Tony my information and we set up a time and place to meet. After everything was discussed we set up a play date, and it just went from there. I think it really helped Tony knowing that this was a business transaction in the beginning. Helped him feel in control of the situation. It was what he needed at the time, and it let us build a good relationship from there." Shaun explained. He was being very open, Steve realized. Much more open than he had been at any point that Steve had talked to him so far.

“He’s going to be ok with you telling me all this later, right?” Steve asked. He didn’t want to overstep, this was all going so well, he didn’t want to ruin this.

“Yeah, we talked about it before we started this afternoon.” Shaun assured.

“I was afraid this would be awkward. That I would feel awkward about it, or I’d make him feel awkward. But it’s not.” Steve sounds a little amazed by that.

“There’s no reason to feel awkward. Tony’s very comfortable with his ageplaying, but he’s had a lot of years to get comfortable with it. There’s nothing wrong with getting what you need, Steve. If this turns out to be something that you enjoy and helps you relieve stress, what’s wrong with having it? You’re not hurting anyone, everyone involved if fully informed and consenting.” Shaun explained. Steve didn’t think this was the first time Shaun had told someone that. He sounded very sure of himself, which was going a long way in making Steve feel more sure of himself.

“I think I do like it.” Steve said.

Shaun smiled at him, turning his attention back to Tony. He was busily moving his pile of multicolored extruded Play-Doh into position on the top of the little plastic tree, squashing it together in places to get it to stay. Steve showed Tony the little monkey that he had made and instantly had his attention. His big brown eyes got wide, his mouth opening in awe enough to allow the pacifier to slip free. The pacifier caught where it was clipped to Tony’s shirt and hung there while Tony reached for the little monkey.

“You make him?” Tony asked him.

“Yeah, buddy. Do you like him?” Steve asked.

Tony nodded, touching the little monkey gently. “We put him on the tree?”

“Sure, you want to help me hang him?” Steve smiled fondly at Tony.

Tony nodded, moving closer to Steve. When he couldn’t get the angle he wanted on the tree, Tony moved closer still, crawling half into Steve lap. Steve shifted back, opening his lap for Tony to make himself comfortable. Tony settled in, his back to Steve front, and pulled the tree closer to them. Steve smiled, wrapping his arms around Tony to help him attach the monkey to the underside of a pile of ‘leaves’ Tony had created. Steve looked up at Shaun and arched an eyebrow, asking if it was ok. Shaun smiled encouragingly and nodded.

Steve spent the next while with Tony in his lap, helping him mold the colorful putty into different animals. They arranged them around the tree and Tony extruded more green to make bushes for them to hide behind. Steve lost himself in the relaxing activity, smiling and amazing over everything Tony showed him. The longer Steve spent sitting with Tony, the more he could see himself doing this regularly. The happier Tony was, the more relaxed Steve felt. Shaun watched them, occasionally adding in his own pieces, but mostly left them to their own devices.

Steve shifted Tony in his lap as he reached for another container of Play-Doh. As he settled back, Tony squirmed, trying to get more comfortable. Steve felt the squish when he shifted.

“Shaun, I think Tony needs a new diaper.” Steve said.

“Uh oh. Are you wet, baby?” Shaun took the news in stride, smiling at Tony as he asked the question.

Tony looked up, his attention coming to rest on Shaun. He wiggled his butt again, squishing the diaper experimentally. He seemed to come to the same conclusion Steve had. Tony’s nose scrunched up and he nodded to Shaun.

“How about we go get a new diaper then? Maybe Steve can clean up the Play-Doh while we do, huh?” Shaun looked to Steve who nodded in confirmation.

“It’s about time for dinner anyway, do you think when I get him changed you can watch a movie with him in the chair while I fix dinner? You’re welcome to stay, we’re going to have spaghetti.” Shaun said to Steve.

“Sketti!” Tony cried gleefully.

“It’s one of his favorites, I think mostly because he can make the biggest mess with it.” Shaun chuckled.

“I’d love to say for dinner if you guys would have me.” Steve grinned at Tony’s enthusiasm for the spaghetti.

“Stebe stay.” Tony said firmly. He wiggled out of Steve’s lap and headed for Shaun.

Steve watched Shaun take Tony by the hand and lead him into the nursery, smiling to himself. Tony was just adorable, full of childlike innocence and more carefree than Steve had ever seen him. It was beautiful to see and so easy to understand what Tony got out of his ageplaying after spending just a couple of hours with the little genius. Steve had noticed in the months they had all been living in the tower together the weight that rested on Tony’s shoulders, the constant strain that seemed to cause tension in Tony’s body that never left. That tension and weight were nowhere to be seen in these rooms. Steve couldn’t help but notice that his own tensions were melting the longer he spent here with Tony and Shaun.

Steve shook himself out of his thoughts and make quick work of cleaning up the Play-Doh. He separated out all of the Play-Doh that hadn’t mixed colors and put them back in their containers and made two new containers for the Play-Doh that was now a multicolored mash-up. Steve took the little plastic tools and play mat to the sink and rinsed out the dough still stuck inside before setting them in the drying rack beside the sink. Despite Shaun’s doubts, they had managed to keep the mess to the play mat. Not sure where to put the rest of it, Steve left the Play-Doh containers in a neat pile on the kitchen counter for Shaun.

By the time Tony and Shaun came out of the nursery, Steve was back in the living room with the television turned on. He was browsing the selection of DVD’s next in the entertainment center. They were mostly Disney movies, with a few boxed sets of television shows thrown in too. Steve had never seen a DVD anywhere in the tower, all of the electronics being hooked into Jarvis the way they were they seemed to be unnecessary. All anyone had to do was ask Jarvis to play their desired film, and it played. But Jarvis was nowhere to be seen or heard in this apartment. Steve wondered if it was because it interfered with Tony’s headspace or if it was a matter of security for Tony. 

Steve smiled when Tony toddled into the living room, one hand holding Shaun’s hand and the other clutching a small bear to his chest.

“He’s all clean, I promise.” Shaun smiled.

“I didn’t mind.” Steve assured. He hadn’t really mined. He wouldn’t get upset if he were holding a baby with a wet diaper, there was no reason to be upset about Tony having a wet diaper either.

Shaun nodded in approval and led Tony further into the living room. “He likes to be held for movies. The recliner rocks and it’s big enough for two people.”

“Would that be ok with you, buddy? Want to sit with me and watch a movie?” Steve directed the question to Tony. He had settled comfortably into Steve’s lap to play earlier, but Steve didn’t want to make assumptions now. The mood may have been broken when Tony left with Shaun.

Tony considered him for a minute, still holding Shaun’s hand and fiddling with the bear in the other. He looked to Shaun, his big brown eyes unsure.

“It’s ok, Tony.” Shaun reassured.

Tony let go of Shaun’s hand and took a tentative step towards Steve. Tony looked like he wanted to sit with Steve but wasn’t sure of his reception.

“How about we pick a movie and sit down while Shaun makes dinner, huh?” Steve smiled encouragingly.

Tony gave a small shy smile back, his lips stretching behind the pacifier in his mouth.

Steve had the sudden urge to pick Tony up. He wasn’t sure if it would be welcome, but he thought that Tony would like it if he’d let Steve pick him up. Steve held his hands out to Tony, the universal gesture for ‘want up?', and smiled at Tony.

Tony’s eyes went wide in surprise and wonder, and he looked back at Shaun again. Shaun smiled and nodded encouragingly at him. Tony turned back to Steve and lifted his arms. Steve beamed at him, gripped hi under the arms and lifted him up. Tony wrapped his legs around Steve’s waist, settling onto his hip, and one arm around Steve’s shoulders. Steve wrapped one arm under Tony’s bottom, supporting his weight, and his other hand rested on Tony’s side. Steve looked to Shaun, who smiled at the two of them and headed for the kitchen to start dinner.

Steve carried Tony over to the DVD collection. Tony’s weight was easy to take, Steve’s serum compensating for it without trouble. It was a little awkward moving with Tony on his hip with as big as Tony was, but nothing Steve couldn’t handle. “Want to pick one out?”

Tony rested his head on Steve’s shoulder, looking over the DVD’s. Steve bounced him gently, giving him time to make a choice. Tony eventual lifted the arm holding the bear and pointed to one of the DVDs. Steve couldn’t tell which one he was pointing at with his hand mostly still holding the bear, so he moved closer to let Tony touch the one he wanted. Tony extended one finger and ran it over the spine of WALL-E.

“That one, huh?” Steve pulled the DVD from the shelf and looked at the cover. It was a Disney movie, one that Steve wasn’t familiar with, and the cover had a little three little robots on it. Steve was pretty sure all of the movies on the shelf were age-appropriate for Tony and approved by Shaun, but Steve flipped it over and read the back carefully anyway. He didn’t want to show the baby anything upsetting. Steve read the summary quickly, it sounded like a cute movie, and checked the rating.

Tony tapped his bear on the DVD. “WALL-E.”

“I bet you like this one cause it has robots, huh?” Steve asked.

“Robots are my favorite.” Tony said.

“Robots are pretty cool.” Steve agreed. He hitched Tony higher up on his hip and knelt down to put the DVD into the player.

Steve stood and carried Tony to the double rocker. He pulled Tony off his hip as he sat down and settled him back on his lap, facing the television. Shaun was right, the chair was definitely big enough for two. Tony squirmed until he was comfortable, ending up with the back of his head resting against Steve’s shoulder. Steve shifted his arm to help support Tony’s weight. He ended up with Tony laying almost diagonal across his body, his legs to one side of his body, butt on Steve’s lap, and his shoulders cradled in the arm opposite with his head rested back on Steve’s shoulder.

The movie started and Tony was instantly absorbed. His mouth moved in a slow steady rhythm on the pacifier and his fingers gently plucked at the fur of the little bear in his lap. Steve paid partial attention to the movie as it played, but most of his attention remained on the little in his lap. Tony made little noises along with the movie, occasional excited little wiggles as certain parts plaid. Steve thought it might be the cutest thing he had ever seen. He thought he was going to be having that problem quite a bit with Tony, every new thing he did taking the place of the last cute thing he did as the most adorable thing Steve had ever seen.

They were maybe twenty minutes into the movie when Shaun came back in the living room. “Hey. I’ve got the sauce on, it’ll simmer for a while. Are you ok with him for a bit?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m really good right where I’m at.” Steve said softly, not wanting to disturb Tony.

“You look like you are.” Shaun said. He stepped closer to the two of them and held out a bottle. “It’s a meal replacement shake. Tony doesn’t eat well at the best of times, so I try to get as much into him nutrition-wise as I can. He’ll still be fine to have dinner when it’s ready if he drinks it.”

Steve took the bottle from him, it wasn’t warm to the touch. “Cold?”

“They taste terrible when they’re room temperature, let alone heated. That’s mixed with a little whole milk to thin it out and I’ve added chocolate syrup to make it sweeter. Now it tastes like chocolate milk.” Shaun chuckled.

Steve nodded. ”Hey buddy, you thirsty?”

Tony looked at the bottle and spit his pacifier out, opening his mouth for the bottle. Steve chuckled, raising the bottle. He guided the nipple into Tony’s mouth. Tony latched on immediately, giving the nipple a gentle pull before switching his attention back to the movie. Tony let Steve hold the bottle to his mouth while he took slow steady pulls.

“Are you …” Steve stopped, focusing his attention back on Shaun. “You’re telling me things. Little things. About Tony. Like I’m …”

“Going to be taking my place eventually?” Shaun suggested.

Steve didn’t say anything, not really sure what to say to that.

“It’ll be a while, if it happens. And there’s no pressure on you or Tony for it to happen, I want to make that very clear. But you’re good with him, I can tell already. And he’s taking to you pretty quick.” Shaun sounded happy about all of that, looking at Steve feeding Tony with approval and genuine warmth on his face. It was clear there were no hard feelings.

“He’s such a sweet baby.” Steve kicked one foot off the floor, starting a gentle rock of the chair.

“He really is. And I could be wrong, but you really look like you’re enjoying spending time with him.” Shaun said.

“I am. Everything I read, I thought this was something I wanted. But being here with him, taking care of him even the little bit that I have, it’s so much better than I had imagined it could be.” Steve agreed.

“I think it could be a really good thing for both of you. Of course, I’m going to talk to Tony about it when he’s out of his headspace.” Shaun relaxed back into the couch, smiling at Tony as he continued to work on the bottle.

“Things don’t change drastically from one headspace to another do they?” Steve hadn’t read anything that suggested different views and opinions between headspaces, but he was still new to all this.

“No. If he had a problem with you outside of his little headspace he wouldn’t be comfortable with you in his headspace. It doesn’t work like that, he’s still Tony even when he’s little.” Shaun explained patiently. He’d been just as patient with Steve through all of this as he obviously was with Tony. It made Steve glad that Tony had him.

Tony wiggled in Steve’s lap, and made a small unhappy little noise, bringing Steve’s attention back to him. While he'd been talking to Shaun, Steve had let the bottle he was holding drift a bit, leaving it at an awkward and for Tony to suck and blocking his view of the movie. Steve hushed him gently and adjusted the bottle, then kicked up the rocking of the chair a bit to soothe him. When Steve turned his attention back to Shaun, the man was grinning happily at him in obvious approval. 

Shaun excused himself back into the kitchen to check on dinner. Steve thought it may also be to give him and Tony more time. Steve kept the chair rocking with his foot. When the bottle was empty, Tony wiggled away from it. Steve took the hint and pulled the bottle away. Tony had a little of the milk in the corners of his mouth. Steve was about to get up with Tony to get something to clean him with when he noticed the small hand towel on the arm of the chair. Steve huffed a little laugh and picked it up. He had a lot to learn about the little intricacies of being a caregiver. It seemed like Shaun was going to help him until he got there though. 

Steve wiped the corners of Tony's mouth with the soft towel, the little scrunching his nose up in displeasure the whole way. When his mouth was clean, Steve retrieved the pacifier from where it had fallen and been caught by the strap and rubbed it against Tony’s lips gently. Tony took it immediately, settling himself back comfortably against Steve. The two of them stayed in the chair, rocking gently, while Tony exclaimed softly and pointed at the television over different parts of the movie. Steve agreed excitedly back at Tony’s exclamations.

Steve thought the spaghetti was probably done well before the movie was over, but Shaun fussed over it and drew it out until the credits started to roll. 

“Stebe like?” Tony asked him. 

“I did like it. I can see why it's a favorite.” Steve tickled Tony gently on his tummy. 

Tony squeaked and giggled at him, twisting on Steve's lap. expression bright and happy.

“I think dinner is ready, you want to go have some spaghetti?” Steve stood from the rocker, taking Tony with him. He readjusted Tony into his hip, supporting him with an arm under his bottom. Tony wrapped an arm around his neck and laid his head on Steve’s shoulder, nodding into it. 

“Alright, buddy.” Steve turned the television off before heading into the small dining room  Shaun already had plates and glasses set out. There were two plates sat down on either side of what Steve was pretty sure was a high chair. There was a smaller plate on a tray on the table along with a sippy cup.

“Can you sit him in his chair, please?” Shaun asked.

“Yeah, of course. You ready, buddy?” Steve didn’t really wait for an answer, it was more a question to let Tony know Steve was going to set him down than anything, then moved to sit Tony in his chair.

Once Tony was sitting, Shaun picked up the tray and slid it into place. The tray locked into place, leaving Tony sitting at table height with his own little tray in front of him. The tray had a lip all the way around that would prevent any spills from leaving the tray. Tony’s plate was hard plastic and brightly colored, his fork also hard plastic and brightly colored. The sippy cup on the tray had cartoon pictures of frogs jumping all the way around it, the mouth of the cup sized up a little from a store-bought sippy cup to better fit Tony’s mouth.

“Where do you get all this stuff?” Steve wondered aloud. “I saw websites that sold things like this, but nothing of this quality. The high chair, the furniture in the nursery, it’s all beautiful.”

“It was all hand made. Tony designed it and then sent the plans to a carpenter. Tony has an account set up for all of this stuff to come out of so that nothing comes back to him. I get everything for him now, it’s … better for him if I do. No kid buys their own stuff, you know?” Shaun explained. He picked up a bib big enough to cover most of the front of Tony’s shirt and tied it behind Tony’s neck.

That made sense to Steve. It probably took something away from the age playing for Tony if he had to buy his own supplies. If Shaun kept everything stocked, even if it was Tony that was actually paying for it, it was probably easier for Tony to fall into and maintain his headspace. 

“You ready to eat, Tony? I usually let him try to feed himself a bit. It’s hard to feed yourself and a baby at the same time, there’s a rhythm to it. But he likes to do it himself and that gives me a chance to eat as well.” Shaun said. It was another little tidbit, future advice. Steve filed it away along with everything else Shaun had said, storing it for when he would, hopefully, need it again in the future.

Tony had dug in while Shaun talked, using the fork more like a spoon to scoop up the food. Steve noticed the spaghetti had been cut already into pieces that allowed Tony to shovel them up towards his mouth. He lost quite a bit of the food on the way to his mouth, creating a trail of noodles and meat sauce from the plate to his mouth. Some of the noodles made it into his mouth, most of the sauce made it onto his face around his mouth.

Steve chuckled and ran a hand affectionately over Tony’s hair while he continued to feed himself. Steve and Shaun sat in companionable silence and ate their own dinner, both watching Tony half eat and half play with his food. When Tony abandoned the fork and started to use his hand to eat Shaun stepped in.

“No Tony.” He said gently, taking Tony’s hand and pulling it away from the food. He picked up the fork and scooped some of the noodles on, offering it to Tony.

Tony opened his mouth and let Shaun feed him, taking several bites before he reached for the sippy cup. By the time he set the cup back down it was covered in meat sauce, the little cartoon frogs smeared red and bits of noodles sticking to the side of the glass.

“Messy little bug, aren’t you?” Steve laughed.

“Bug!” Tony agreed.

“Oh, you like that?” Steve reached under the table and tickled behind Tony’s knee.

Tony shrieked and squirmed, giggling excitedly at Steve. Steve laughed with him, Tony’s amusement contagious.

“You’re going to spoil him rotten, I can tell.” Shaun accused.

“Nothing wrong with a little spoiling.” Steve defended.

“No, there’s really no harm in it.” Shaun agreed.

“Spoiled bug!” Tony squirmed happily in the chair.

“When he starts to squirm he’s about had enough.” Shaun told Steve.

He was right, Tony took two more bites of spaghetti before he turned his head away from the next bite. Steve and Shaun finished their dinner while Tony played in the mess he’d made of the high chair tray. Steve watched him, smiling as Tony enjoyed himself. The mess was contained to the tray and easily enough cleaned, and Tony's shirt protected by the bib. Steve couldn’t see any harm in letting him enjoy himself and Shaun didn’t seem to mind either.

“I usually give him a bath and put him to bed after dinner. He doesn’t sleep as much as he should normally, so early bedtime on play days goes a long way in helping make the rest of his week better. I think you did great with him today, Steve. I hope you’ll come to see him again.” Shaun said, a bit regretfully.

Steve nodded, understanding. It was time to let Shaun bathe and put Tony to bed. As much as Steve didn’t want to let go of these moments he was sharing with Tony, he needed to let Shaun continue with the routine.

“I would really like to spend some more time with him. Would you like that Tony? Can I come play with you again?” Steve bopped Tony on the nose with his index finger.

“Stebe go?” Tony asked, his forehead crinkling and a pout on his lips.

“Yeah, buddy. You gotta have a bathe and get some sleep. You’ve had a fun day though, huh? You must be tired.” Steve tried to head off anything more than a pout before it got started.

“Stebe come back?” Tony’s lip trembled.

“Oh little man, that pout is gonna be awfully hard to resist. I will definitely come back and play with you again. I promise.” Steve ran a hand over Tony’s hair, avoiding smearing any of the mess on his face into it.

“Ok.” The lip quivering stopped, but the little pout stayed in place.

“I hate to leave you with such a mess, Shaun. Can I clean up while you give him his bath?” Steve offered. Shaun had prepared the meal, Steve felt terrible leaving the mess for him as well.

“Oh, it’s fine. I’ll clean up once I get him down for the night. I appreciate the offer though.” Shaun assured. Steve got the feeling that he knew Steve was reluctant to leave, but Steve also knew he needed to go.

“Ok. Thank you for dinner, and for everything else you’ve done.” The sincerity in Steve’s voice was clear.

“It was my pleasure, Steve. Tony, can you thank Steve for coming to play with you today?” Shaun prodded.

“Thanks for playing, Stebe!” Tony reached for him, his sticky fingers grasping.

“Awe buddy, you’re welcome.” Steve grinned, taking Tony’s wrist in his hand to avoid the mess on his fingers. Steve leaned forward and brushed a kiss across Tony’s forehead. “I’ll see you again really soon, ok?”

“Kay.” Tony agreed, smiling up at Steve as he stood.

Steve held his hand out to Shaun, who took his hand and shook warmly.

“Are you busy Tuesday evening?” Shaun asked him.

“Not in the evening, no. Can I come by then?” Steve didn’t want to push, but if Tony and Shaun were offering he’d definitely be there.

“Right now our play schedule it every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, You’re welcome to come visit any time you’re free on those days and I’ll let you know if our schedule changes at all.” Shaun walked with him to the door.

“I’ll let you or Tony know if I can’t make it for any reason, otherwise I’ll be here.” Steve stopped at the door, looking back at Tony still sitting in his high chair.

“Bye Stebe!” Tony waved frantically from the chair, kicking his feet under the table.

Steve chuckled. “Bye buddy!”

Steve left the little apartment with a smile on his face and feeling like he weighed fifty pounds less than he had when he got there that afternoon. If this was what Tony felt like after he was done playing, Steve could definitely understand the appeal this held for him. It was amazing how just a few hours could lift his mood so much.

Chapter Text

Steve couldn't remember the last time he felt this relaxed. In the last week, he'd spent time with Tony and Shaun twice, both Tuesday and Thursday evening. On Wednesday Tony had even come up from the lab to watch a movie with everyone in the communal living room. Steve could tell he still felt a bit awkward around everyone, but by the time the movie was over he had relaxed back into the couch cushions with one of the large bowls of popcorn on his lap next to Steve. They hadn't spoken through the movie, but the easy silence had been comfortable. 

Steve had also made a point at team practice on Thursday afternoon to single everyone out with at least one positive comment on their performance. Judging by the expressions on everyone’s faces, Tony wasn’t the only one on the team that could do with a bit of praise and positive reinforcement. Steve had made a mental note then and there to make that a part of every practice.

Steve held up another green Lego for Tony, he’d been hunting all the green pieces for the last few minutes to make the left part of a tree for his latest Lego masterpiece. It really was impressive, Steve wasn’t sure he could come up with some of the things Tony made from the little plastic toys. Tony’s gift for design and creation definitely followed him into his little headspace.

Tony had made himself comfortable in Steve’s lap, it seemed to be his favorite spot when Steve came to play with him. Shaun was sitting in the rocking chair in the corner of the nursery, reading a book and watching them play together. Steve thought the book was more to give him and Tony some illusion of privacy together because the instant Tony needed anything Shaun was on it, letting Steve know nothing had gone on that Shaun wasn’t aware of. It was kind of him, to give them their space while still being there for support.

Tony positioned his latest tree on the base plate designed for Legos, scrutinizing it carefully before pushing it into place. The little landscape was shaping up nicely, trees and a fence around the perimeter. There were little robots scattered among the plastic shrubbery. It reminded Steve of a dog park, but with little robots frolicking with each other instead of dogs. 

Steve kept his hands wrapped around Tony’s waist and made impressed noises at everything Tony showed him. Tony squirmed in his lap for the second time in the last five minutes and Steve thought he knew what the problem was.

“Shaun? I think we’ve got the potty dance going on over here.” Steve smiled in amusement as he said it, not making a move to remove Tony from his lap. 

Shaun looked up from his book, an amused grin on his face. You want me to take care of it, or do you think you’ve got this one?”

Steve hadn’t changed Tony’s diaper yet. In the last couple of play sessions, Shaun had excused himself and Tony to clean him up and brought him back to Steve with a fresh diaper. So far, Shaun had been doing most of the actual caring for Tony, just letting Steve enjoy spending time with the little. 

“Yeah, I've got this one. Hey little man, do you need a change?” Steve switched his attention back to Tony.

“No wet.” Tony shook his head adamantly and kept his attention on his Legos.

“A couple of fingers down the back of his shorts should tell you. If he's wet you’ll feel it.” Shaun informed him with an air of practiced patience. 

Steve took Shaun at his word, getting one hand between his stomach and Tony’s back to slide two fingers into the elastic waistband of both the diaper and the shorts Tony was wearing. He felt along the padding until he was about to his second knuckle when he felt the wetness. Steve pulled his fingers back and shook his head.

“You’re wet buddy, let’s get you changed. You’ll feel much better after a change, ok?” Steve coaxed. 

“No wet. Play.” Tony shook his head again, looking back at Steve this time. His big brown eyes were pleading and Steve knew he was in trouble. How was he ever going to say no to that look?

Steve looked up at Shaun, still sitting in the rocking chair watching them. He had a knowing grin on his face, his shoulders shaking with restrained laughter. “He’s testing his boundaries.”

Steve took a steadying breath and looked back down at Tony in his lap. “I know you wanna play, little man. And we can still play. But we’re gonna take a quick break, get you all cleaned up, and then we can come right back to the Legos. Ok?”

Tony pouted but nodded. Steve shifted him off his lap and stood, leaning back down to pick Tony up. Tony wrapped his legs around Steve’s waist and settled onto his hip for the short trip to the changing table. Since the first time Steve picked Tony up, he’d been a fan. Steve thought it helped his headspace by making Tony feel small and cared for. The last couple of times Steve had played with him Tony had taken to holding his arms up for Steve, waiting to be picked up. Steve didn’t mind at all, Tony’s weight not really a burden to his serum enhanced body. It was becoming less awkward every time he picked Tony up, learning to adapt the way he moved to accommodate Tony. He was confident with more practice he'd be able to do most normal tasks with Tony on his hip without an issue.

Steve adjusted his grip to lay Tony down on the changing table. Shaun set his book down and got up from the rocking chair. Steve was relieved to see that. He’d said he could handle it, but he definitely wouldn’t refuse a little support. He hadn’t changed a diaper since he was a kid and had been helping with one of Bucky’s sisters. Steve was pretty sure diapers had changed since then.

“If he’s in a onesie when you do this, you can just undo the snaps and push it up around his belly to get at everything you need to. But in the shorts, you’re going to want to take them all the way off. He’ll help you, just let him know when to lift his hips up. Won’t you, baby?” Shaun advised. He reached out and tickled Tony’s belly with a few fingers.

Steve smiled when Tony giggled, nodding his head. When Tony planted his feet and lifted his feet, Steve gripped both sides of the shorts and pulled them down and off, setting them next to Tony on the changing table.

“I usually get everything ready before I take the diaper off, but you’ll get your own routine that works best for you the more you do it. So feel free to change what I do around if something else works better for you. Diapers, wipes, and powder are under here.” Shaun reached under the changing table and retrieved all of the needed items, laying them out next to Tony.

“I think I’ll stick with your way for now. The last time I did this, diapers weren’t disposable. This is disposable, right?” Steve looked a little started at the idea that maybe he was supposed to wash the diaper Tony was wearing.

Shaun chuckled, shaking his head. “Yes, it’s disposable. You can still get reusable diapers, but I don’t recommend them. These are so much easier.”

Tony wiggled on the changing table, pouting up at both of them. Steve understood the message, the longer this took the longer it would be before Tony could get back to his Legos. Steve undid the little tabs on either side of the diaper and pulled it down, exposing Tony’s bare wet skin to the air. Tony shivered slightly.

Shaun pushed the wipes closer to Steve. “Lift your hips up, Tony. You want to pull the diaper out from under him and then fold it up like this, so you can use the tabs to keep it closed.” When Tony lifted his hips Steve pulled the diaper out from under him and then watched as Shaun demonstrated how to roll the diaper in a way that left the tabs holding the whole thing closed in a way that kept all the mess sealed inside..

“Then take a couple of wipes and wipe everything down. You want to make sure you wipe anywhere the wet diaper touched his skin.” Shaun held the wipes out to Steve, who took a couple of them and gently started wiping over Tony’s skin. He hesitated for a moment over Tony’s genitals, looking to Shaun for confirmation. “Go ahead, he doesn’t register it as anything other than what it is, you taking care of him and cleaning him up.” Shaun assured gently.

Steve wiped down Tony’s genitals quickly but efficiently, making sure to be gentle. He looked up at Tony, who was watching him curiously. There was no sign of anything on his face other than trust and acceptance. Tony was trusting Steve to take care of him in a way that he had only ever let one other person. 

“You want to put the new diaper under him before you put on the powder, or you’ll get the powder all over the changing table.” Shaun advised, handing Steve the new diaper. Steve got Tony to lift his hips again and slid the new diaper under his bottom before sprinkling a little powder over Tony’s front.

“A little more, this helps keep him dry and prevent rashes.” Shaun suggested. Steve sprinkled the powder a little more liberally and looked to Shaun for approval. When Shaun nodded Steve pulled the diaper up to cover Tony. He pulled the tabs from either side of the diaper and brought them around to the front one by one.

“The diapers have some give to them, so you want to pull them a little snug. Not tight, but you don’t want it to fall off. Do you know what diaper rash looks like?” Shaun asked.

Steve tugged the tabs a little tighter and secured them to the diaper. “I think so. Red and irritated, right?”

“Yeah. If he sits in a diaper too long, he’ll get a rash. It’s painful and unpleasant, he gets pretty cranky when he gets one. There’s cream for it, if you notice any redness, even if it’s not that bad, go ahead and put the cream on. Better to catch it before it gets any worse.” Shaun advised, a look that told Steve he was speaking from experience.

 “Cream before or after the powder?” Steve asked.

“Before.” Shaun said.

Steve nodded. “That wasn’t so bad, was it buddy?” Steve smiled down at Tony, feeling good about his first successful diaper change. Steve leaned over and lifted Tony’s shirt up on his tummy, blowing a raspberry on the exposed skin.

Tony shrieked with laughter, bringing his hands up to push at the top of Steve’s head. Steve let Tony push him away and smiled up at him before taking a deep breath and diving back in to blow another raspberry on Tony’s tummy. Tony giggled and squirmed, writhing under Steve.

“Stebe! No!” Tony giggled.

“No? Don’t stop?” Steve teased, blowing another raspberry.

“No more! No Stebe!” Tony wiggled so much under Steve that he put both hands on Tony’s hips to make sure he didn’t wiggle himself off the changing table.

“Ok, buddy. No more. Let’s get your shorts on and we can get back to your Legos, ok?” Steve pulled the shorts up over Tony’s legs and then slid them over the diaper when Tony raised his hips.

“You did really good, Steve.” Shaun smiled. “I’m going to start dinner while you entertain the munchkin. Are you staying for dinner tonight?”

“I’d like to, if you and Tony don’t mind. What do you say, little man? Can I stay for dinner?” Steve lifted under Tony’s arms, pulling him up and onto Steve’s hip.

“Stebe stay. Chicken nuggets?” Tony looked hopefully at Shaun, perched happily in Steve’s arms.

“Yep, it’s chicken nugget night.” Shaun assured.

Steve sat back down on the rug, pulling Tony back into his lap when Shaun left to start dinner. Steve lost himself in the small pleasures of watching Tony have fun, helping him pick the colors he wanted from the pile of Legos beside them. Tony’s innocent joy at creating with the simple blocks was a soothing balm to Steve, allowing him to experience it right along with Tony.

Steve had only spent time with Tony a few times, but it was long enough that he was hooked. This was exactly what he was hoping for when he had talked to Shaun about introducing him to a little. He was still easing his way into taking care of Tony, only doing what Shaun offered to let him, careful not to push at all, trusting Shaun to know what pace Tony needed to move at. For his part, Tony seemed to be taking to Steve with as much speed as Steve was taking to him. The shyness of the first few minutes of their first meeting hadn’t made another appearance since that first night. The last two times Shaun had let Steve into the apartment Tony had greeted him with smiles and excited babbling.

Steve played with Tony until Shaun called a ten-minute warning on dinner, then helped Tony put away his Legos. Tony was a good baby, eager to help even if some of his helping was more enthusiasm than actual help. Some of the Legos overshot the bucket and ended up right back on the floor, but it was the effort that counted as far as Steve was concerned. Steve just helped him pick up the tiny blocks and try for the bucket again.

When the Legos were cleared from the floor, Steve stood and held his hands out. Tony lifted his arms and waited, letting Steve grip under his arms and lift him up. Steve carried him into the kitchen and sat Tony in his high chair.

When the chicken nuggets were served Steve was a bit surprised. They were chicken nuggets, small enough for Tony to take two bites out of each one, but they weren’t frozen remade nuggets. Instead, they were seasoned pieces of chicken Shaun had coated in panko bread crumbs and baked, along with fresh-cut fries that were also baked. It was a healthy, kid-friendly, meal that Steve made a mental note to remember when he saw how quickly Tony inhaled them.

Steve thought Tony took particular pleasure in dunking both the nuggets and the fries in the ranch dressing Shaun provided in a little container that suction-cupped to the tray of the high chair to prevent any spills. Steve knew Tony was done with his meal without Shaun having to tell him when Tony abandoned the food to work on dislodging the suction-cupped container from the tray. Steve quickly dislodged it himself and handed it to Shaun to be put in the sink for cleaning. Tony pouted at him over it, but Steve just bopped his stuck out lower lip gently with his index finger, causing Tony to blink rapidly in shock before giggling. 

When dinner was over, Steve knew it was time to leave. Every night that he had visited he stayed until dinner and then let Shaun and Tony continue on with their bedtime routine themselves. Steve felt a twinge in his chest when he thought about staying for bath time and story time, he wanted to be a part of that. Steve didn’t let himself dwell on it though, he thought things were going well and was confident that when they were comfortable including him in those routines they would tell him. Steve didn’t let himself think anything else, not willing to entertain the thought that maybe this wouldn’t work out.

Steve said his goodbyes while Shaun used a damp cloth to clean the smeared ranch dressing from Tony’s face and fingers. Steve’s chest clenched again when Tony looked up at him and grinned with his messy face.

“Goodnight, buddy.” Steve leaned over to kiss Tony’s forehead. The ranch dressing thankfully hadn’t made it up that high.

“Night Stebe.” Tony grinned.

Shaun walked him to the door after his goodbyes. “You were really good with him tonight.”

“Thanks. I think it’s starting to come a little easier, knowing what to do.” Steve looked back at Tony, still in his high chair.

“It will keep getting easier. You’re a natural caregiver Steve, just keep letting it happen and go with your instincts.” Shaun patted Steve’s shoulder.

“My instincts are telling me to go pick him up and rock him to sleep.” Steve laughed.

“Are you going to be here on Tuesday?” Shaun asked.

“Yeah, I reworked my schedule to keep it clear on play days,” Steve said sheepishly.

Shaun chuckled. “Want to stay for bedtime? I give him a bath after dinner, then a bottle and bed.”

“Yes!” Steve said immediately. “I mean yeah, that would be really great. If you think it’s ok.”

“He’s starting to ask about you when you aren’t here.” Shaun confided.

Steve knew the grin on his face was almost reaching his ears. “That’s a good thing, right?”

“I think so.” Shaun nodded.

“Thanks, Shaun.” Steve said sincerely.

“You’re very welcome, Steve.” Shaun patted him on the shoulder again and closed the door behind him.

Steve was still grinning widely when he made it to the elevator in the penthouse and pressed the button to take him to the communal floor.