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Vyvyan talks in his sleep.
Not only the mumbly sort of incomprehensible talking Rick has heard in others. No, Vyvyan speaks in very clear, yet nonsensical and often hilarious non-sequiturs with his eyes closed fast.
Phrases like, "Hacksaws don't transform into water" and "Never mind, I need the sequined kind." Most often it's a single sentence or quick phrase, shocking Rick out of a sound sleep. Sometimes he'll ask a question and wait for an answer, any answer, before going back to sleep. Rick has tested this and delights in coming up with nonsense to answer him with.
"Did you see that?"
Rick's eyes shoot open. He lifts his head off the pillow and watches Vyvyan for signs of life.
"No," he says quietly, "What was it?"
"'S bloody damp."
Rick stifles a giggle, "I can imagine, but did you remember to pack the otter?"
"Crap. I'll have to do it myself."
Vyvyan rolls onto his side, away from Rick. He snores. Rick shakes in silent laughter until he falls asleep again.
Sometimes, Rick can carry on a conversation with him for a good 30 seconds or so before it ends abruptly. His words usually retain their own twisted internal logic and Rick has great fun trying to figure out what Vyvyan must be dreaming about. Vyvyan never remembers any of it, and Rick teases him about it on mornings he doesn't mind getting something tossed at his head.
Vyvyan has two distinct modes of speech when he talks like this. Rick thinks of them as his sleep voices, Playful and Eerie.
The Playful voice sounds much like Vyvyan's natural speaking voice. It never says anything important or relevant, and it is usually the voice Rick can converse with. When the Playful voice is present, Vyvyan stays very still. The words just come out, as though they were a snore or a particularly loud breath.
The Eerie voice is deeper and more monotone (though often more emotive, content-wise) than the Playful one, and Vyvyan behaves differently when it appears. He moves around, sits up, turns to face Rick and speaks to him; his eyes open, but empty, staring directly through him. Eerie is a bit of an understatement, actually. Rick is glad he's never actually stood up. Though it also often talks nonsense, the Eerie voice makes more sense on average than the Playful voice, as though it were simultaneously closer to and further away from his conscious mind. Rick pays careful attention to the Eerie voice, because sometimes it says what Vyvyan is thinking. And sometimes Vyvyan is thinking about him.
"Get angry for me."
Rick rolls his eyes. He's already been woken up twice tonight and wishes Vyv would just shut up already.
"Fire in your eyes," he reaches up and strokes Rick's cheek, "You make me happy, poof."
Rick smiles a mile wide. He's entirely unused to compliments from Vyvyan, and little reassurances like this mean the world. Moments like these make it worth it. He's never slept better.
But the Eerie voice is more than sudden animation and strange confessions. Its non-sequiturs are always dark and violent. When Rick does converse with it, he usually wishes he hadn't.
Vyvyan sits bolt upright and cocks his head.
"Have you seen what it's like when his arm's torn off?"
"No," Rick answers, more out of surprise than any desire to hear what will come next.
"He's a walking corpse," he says, emotionless. Then he lays back down and sleeps comfortably through the night. Rick knows, because he doesn't sleep.
Rick doesn't talk about the Eerie voice at all. It frightens him.