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It was the damn fish that did it, but really, could you blame him? What was more absolutely rage inducing than seeing an entire, floppy, dead fish. There was just something about the shape and texture that could make a clone go wild. And then there was the eyes with the staring, and the jiggling. Disgusting.
Trexel had been waving it around while he made a point about how they could not have any grass on a planet made for cows. The thing’s eyes had been bouncing up and down and left and right, but it seemed to David that they were always staring straight at him. David felt something he didn’t understand building in his chest. He couldn’t identify it. He hadn’t been alive long enough to name every emotion. But it was overwhelming his brain function.
It was when Trexel was finally reaching some semblance of a point that David lunged out and grabbed the thing. He promptly shoved the fish into his own mouth and took an enormous bite. David hadn’t exactly planned this, and he didn’t know where he was going with it, but his brain said to chew and swallow, and far be it from him to argue with his brain.
It tasted. Well, it tasted gross. He wasn’t going to lie to himself about that fact. But it was also his first chewable food, and that made it an experience if nothing else. There was something enjoyable chewing, and once he got to it, he found swallowing solids wasn’t unpleasant. He did feel a little like a polar bear and was filled with the urge to attempt a power stance. He probably would have too if he didn’t notice Trexel’s face.
Trexel had miraculously stopped talking when David grabbed the fish. He stared and watched the whole messy biting and tearing and chewing process, and at the end of it he and David found themselves just staring at each other.
“David, that was silly. Do you feel silly.”
“I do. I, uh, feel a little silly.”
“Well you should David. You’ve eaten my fish. Took a big bite right out of it. David. Hand me my fish back.”
David didn’t know why, but now that he had the fish, he didn’t want to give it up. So he did the only reasonable thing he could think of. He smacked Trexel’s face with it. It wasn’t his brightest idea, and he immediately regretted it.
“Oh God, Trexel I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I swear I didn’t mean to do that.”
“David, you idiot. Give that to me know.”
Smack
“David why do you keep hitting me? What have I ever done to you?”
The following smack was especially painful.
“I don’t know how to stop! It just keeps happening!”
Finally Trexel wrestled the fish away from David, and they were both quiet for a minute. At least they were until David sat bolt upright.
“Oh my God, the brief.”
“Oh now you care about the brief. You can’t have it both ways David. In this life you have to choose. It’s either a life of fish and physical violence, or one of unrewarded labor.”
“Trexel, I’m sure that’s great advice, but we only have a minute left.”
“Well I’m sure we did a good job. Let me sum it up for you a planet covered in cows, and the environment is jungle. I mean what is funnier than seeing a cow in the jungle. It will be hilarious. They will love it.”
“Oh my God, I am going to die.”