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The Earth. This is where I was sent and this is where I died. The first 6000 years of my life nothing extraordinary happened, besides the Fall. I was told to get up there and make some trouble. As a demon, it was a fair order. However, it never occurred to me, that there will be a life-changing encounter. Then I met an angel called Aziraphale. An angel who can make miracles and bring joy to people’s life. He showed me that even an angel can make mistakes and still be a decent being. It was a graceful deed, talking to a demon as if I was a human. He showed me that even a demon can love and be loved in return. We made an agreement not to infiltrate with the other’s job and lend a hand when needed. That’s how the first 6000 years of our life went on. I thought it would never end. But then came the Apocalypse. Then came the war against the rest of Heaven and Hell…and that’s when it all ended. This is a story of how I died.
After we stopped the end of the world, in other names: the Armageddon, we swapped our bodies. Our respective head offices came for both of us and took me, in the body of Aziraphale, to Heaven, and the angel in my body to Hell. As we figured they would try to destroy me with holy water and the angel with hellfire. Our plan worked just perfectly. There was not even a scratch neither on me nor the angel. We outsmarted both Heaven and Hell, even Satan himself. At least, that’s what we thought.
We changed back into ourselves when nobody saw us. We weren’t careful enough. We thought they would leave us alone, but they didn’t. They kept an eye out and Death himself saw how we changed back. It took very little time to tell both sides about our trick and soon they were after us, again, but this time, we had no clue. We were just walking out of the Ritz after our celebration of victory when they took us. They caught us off guard. Instead of taking me to Hell and the angel to Heaven, we were both taken to the land of angels.
They dragged us across the halls of Heaven right into an arena, one pretty much like the Colosseum, but this one was made entirely of glass and filled with angels on one side and demons on the other side. We were left in the centre of the field after beaten the shit out of us. There was no chance of getting away with it. I looked over to the archangel Gabriel, whose idea this was.
- What do you want?! Why are we here?!
- Oh Crowley, you have to know this more than any of us. Don’t you recognise this place?
I didn’t understand first, but as I looked around, I remembered. A long time ago…this was the place where I was accused of treason, this is where all the celestial titles and privileges were taken away from me, this the place where I was damned and banished from Heaven. And then the realization hit me.
- You can’t…not to him!
- Oh but we can!
I have never been more afraid of what’s going to happen. I turned to look at the angel who was confused and had no idea at all, what is about to happen to him.
- Crowley, what is he talking about?
- Aziraphale…I…
There was nothing I could do, nothing except one last demonic miracle of my own, but I had to be brave. I quickly grabbed the angel’s hand and with all the magic that was left in me, I stopped the time and teleported us to the very beginning, to the Garden of Eden. And there we were, completely alone, on the top of the wall of the garden, our wings spreading like never before.
- I’m so sorry, angel…
- What are you talking about? What’s happening?
- I did this so we can have a moment in private.
- But…but I don’t understand.
- Listen…that place…that’s where I was cast out of Heaven.
I paused here, but I figured he would need time to process the information before I could proceed.
- I’m so sorry…it is gonna hurt…real bad.
- No it’s…it’s not your fault. I’ve made my choice a long time ago and it is to be with you, no matter what.
For a second I just stared at him as he took my hand in his. The touch was ever so soft and loving.
- How much time do we have left? – the angel asked.
- Not much…only a few moments.
It was too much for him. He could not bear with his emotions anymore and a tear rolled down his cheek. And this is where my heart shattered into a million pieces.
- Am I going to see you again?
- I…I don’t know…they are going to banish you, but I don’t know what they are going to do to me…
- You will be on your own?
I simply nodded because I was also battling with my emotions just as much as he was. The crying never stopped, it only became worse and worse and I felt like I was getting ripped in half. Seeing him like this was Hell itself.
- Crowley…I…
The angel wanted to say what I’ve known for a time now, but we didn’t say anything. Not until now, not until it was too late.
- C-Crowley…I…I love you.
- Quite right…and I suppose…it’s my last chance to say it…Aziraphale…
But before I could finish my confession the time was over and we were teleported back to our place of doom. I couldn’t say it back to him, he will never know that I felt the same all along. The other angels grabbed him and dragged him in front of me, forced him to show his wings and they ruthlessly cut them off, right before my eyes. I cried…I cried him a river, I never wanted this to happen. I was never meant to hurt him.
- This is your fault, Crowley. You made him fall in love with you and sealed his fate. Now he is going to fall again…but not for you.
And then he was banished. A hole appeared where he was kneeling, wingless and hurt and he disappeared into the void of darkness. They locked me up in a cell to live the rest of my eternal life in a cage, with the fact that I was the reason they cut his wings off and cast him out of Heaven.
This...is the story of how I died.