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Rain lashed against the car, obscuring the windows behind pellucid streams and drumming against the roof with a cadenced pit-pat-tat. Aaron watched the droplets splatter against the windshield, where they were merged into the steady rivulets, sometimes rebelling against the course of the water to form their own path down the glass. He imagined that the rain was sentient, that each drop was an individual with thoughts and feelings, parachuting out of the clouds to assault the earth under the cover of darkness like some sort of Black Ops military team. The fatter drops that splattered into tiny globules were the members of the force who were Killed in Action. Aaron imagined their screams as they realized they were coming in too hard, too fast before that final impact. Other drops were the commanders of the units, eagerly merging into the streams nearest to them. He imagined them yelling “Move! Move! Move!” to their platoons.
Rationally, Aaron new that rain was just water, and that water was just molecules and that molecules were just atoms made up protons, neutrons, and electrons and that atoms probably had no feeling or sentient thoughts, but… what if they did?
“Do you think rain is afraid of falling?” His voice seemed booming in the quiet stillness of the car, and Eric jerked awake beside him. Aaron looked over with a sheepish smile, having forgotten that Eric had fallen asleep. “Sorry.”
Eric scrubbed his hand over his face as he realized they were not in danger and that Aaron had—once again—woken him up with some random late-night musing. This had become the norm lately when Aaron couldn’t sleep. Eric sympathized with Aaron, knowing that it was his hellish nightmares that usually kept him from wanting to fall asleep, but there were times when getting jolted awake made Eric a little cranky. “Do I think what?”
“That rain is afraid of falling?” Aaron repeated softer. “I know molecules don’t have the ability to think and reason and feel, but what if they did? Do you think rain would know that its purpose is to fall, or do you think it would be afraid of falling?”
Eric gawped at the other man, wondering—not for the first time—how Aaron even came up with these things. He was so torn between being dumbstruck and being annoyed that he’d been woken up for this that he couldn’t even speculate on a possible response. “Babe…” Eric said patiently, closing his eyes for a moment. “I love you to death, but stop waking me up in the middle of the night to tell me your weird thoughts.”
Aaron looked down abashedly, opening his mouth to apologize, but Eric reached over for his hand, leaning across the small console between them to kiss Aaron’s cheek.
“I love your weird thoughts, but not at…” he checked his watch. “2am when you nearly scare the piss out of me.”
With a slight grin, Aaron rested his head against Eric’s, bringing his lover’s hand to his lips to kiss it tenderly. “Guess I could start keeping a notebook with all my weird thoughts so we can talk about them later.”
“Why are you even speculating on whether or not raindrops are afraid to fall?” Eric asked curiously, closing his eyes sleepily as he rested against Aaron’s shoulder.
Aaron recapped the scenario that had played out in his head, ultimately leading him to the question of ‘what if…’ and Eric chuckled softly in response.
“You really are one of a kind; you know that?” He listened to the rain outside the car for a moment, then finally answered. “It would be horribly depressing to think that if rain could feel, it would be afraid of falling. I would hope it would understand that it was meant to fall. Maybe during the formation of rain clouds, the molecules that grow up into raindrops go to Rain School where they learn about their purpose, and their graduation from school is in the form of showers.”
Aaron smiled, nuzzling Eric’s soft hair with his nose. “I like that idea. Gives them a whole fulfilling life from birth to death.”
“Good,” Eric yawned. “Can I go back to sleep now?”
Kissing Eric tenderly, Aaron watched the other man pull the fleece blanket back up to his chin as he laid back into the reclined passenger seat, head turned slightly away as he tried to get comfortable. Aaron smiled, adoring the other man and reaching over to lay his hand on Eric just for the physical connection. When he turned his attention back to the rain outside the windows, his mind once again fell into speculative thought.
“Do you think they believe in reincarnation? You know, since they eventually evaporate and the whole cycle repeats…”
“Aaron…”
“Hm?”
“Shut up.”