Chapter Text
Eddie's palms were sweating as he slowly drove down the highway. Cars were beeping all around him to speed up as the radio played some random song, but his heart was beating too loudly in his ears for him to be able to hear anything. It had been 2 months, 13 days and 4 hours - not that he was counting, of course - since Eddie and the rest of the Losers had proudly dropped Richie Tozier off at his college dorm room, and Eddie could hardly keep his mind straight. They had all agreed to give Richie some breathing room whilst he adjusted to college life and sorted out his classes so he could keep focused, but Eddie couldn't handle it anymore. Their Sunday night phone calls weren’t enough to keep him satisfied, and not seeing Richie’s mop of hair or hearing his voice as he told his dirty jokes made Eddie's heart ache. Although he wasn’t quite sure why.
So as Eddie merged off the highway and made his way closer and closer towards Richie’s college, he felt like crying. He felt like crying and turning back around and going home and crying some more. He was so nervous. His hands were tingling and his leg was bouncing and his pits were sweating as he drove around the front of the massive school and attempted to find a park, and when he finally did, he just sat there. He sat in his driver's seat, closed his eyes, and tried to take some deep breaths.
“Knock knock!” Eddie heard from outside his car. He jumped at the sound of someone tapping on his window and opened his eyes to see none other than Richie Tozier’s bright smile.
Eddie felt his nerves and stress wash away the second he saw that smile, and he let out a deep breath of relief as he opened the car door.
“Richie!” Eddie screamed as he pounced on his friend, wrapping his arms around the waist of the taller boy.
“Hey, Eds,” Richie said, snaking his arms around Eddie’s neck and pulling him close. Richie wasn’t going to admit it to anyone - not even himself - but he missed Eddie Kaspbrak more than anyone these last 2 months. So the moment Eddie called him asking if he could come up to visit, Richie didn’t hesitate for a second to say yes. And as they hugged on the side of the road for what felt like forever, Richie felt his heart melt at the familiar scent of Eddie’s shampoo.
Eddie was the one to pull away from the hug, not wanting Richie to think he was weird for wanting to stay in the embrace for as long as possible. He awkwardly tucked his slightly messy brown hair behind his ears and crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at Richie.
“So, how’s college life treating you?” Eddie asked, squinting his eyes to try and shield them from the sun. He held up a hand to block it out, but it was still blinding him.
“It’s so cool,” Richie started. He took note of the sun in Eddie’s eyes and moved around so his shadow would block it out for him. “Is that better?”
Eddie smiled as something inside his chest fluttered at Richie’s actions. “Yeah, thanks,” he said softly. He looked up at Richie, pure hearts in his eyes as he stared at the tall boy. Richie stared back too, biting his lip slightly and furrowing his eyebrows as he wondered why Eddie was looking at him like that.
“You good there, Eds?” Richie asked.
Eddie quickly dropped his gaze down to the ground and nodded his head. “Yeah, I’m good,” he said, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “Let’s uh… Let’s go walk around. Show me where you learn all your smart people things.”
Richie chuckled. “Yeah, okay.” He wrapped an arm around Eddie’s shoulders without thinking twice and began directing the smaller boy around the campus. Eddie felt tingles where Richie’s fingers pressed into his arm and he could hardly concentrate on anything the curly-haired boy was saying.
They wandered around for quite some time, Richie taking him to the seat where he made his first friend, and the gym that he went to once. With the warm Spring sun and the gentle breeze, it was a perfect day for a walk outside.
“And that’s where my I have my biology classes,” Richie said as he pointed to a large building. He stopped walking and looked down to Eddie, ready to talk about all the cool animals he had dissected so far this year, but instead was met with an Eddie that looked to be deep in thought.
Richie stared at him for another few seconds before he pulled Eddie closer to him and whispered, “Hey, Spaghetti. You okay?”
Eddie jumped a little and a shiver went down his spine at the soft voice in his ear. He had never reacted quite this extremely every other time he had been around Richie, so why now? And why was it even happening? Usually, he would only get shivers down his spine when he stepped outside on a cold day, or when he looked at pictures of Patrick Swayze - not that anyone knew about the latter. But definitely not ever from Richie Tozier, of all people.
When Eddie hadn’t responded after a moment, Richie spun him around to face him and placed his hands on his shoulders. “What’s going on, Eds?”
Eddie thought for a moment. He didn’t even know how he would explain what was going on to Richie when Eddie himself didn’t even know.
As Eddie was about to reply and say he was fine, a louder voice came from behind the two boys.
“Hey, Tozier!”
Eddie looked behind his taller friend to see three guys walking towards them. All three were relatively buff with dark hair, and certainly not the type of people he could have imagined Richie becoming friends with. But nonetheless, there they were walking towards them.
Richie spun around and his eyes bugged out of his head at the sight of these men. “Guys, this is Eddie!” He said, gesturing both arms towards the small boy. “He’s the kid I was telling you about. The one coming to see me from home.”
Eddie awkwardly waved a hand at the guys, not really knowing how else to greet them.
“Eds, this is Clay, Mitch and Chilli. I think I told you about them on the phone?”
Eddie nodded his head. “Yeah, I remember.” He felt so awkward with these three big guys standing so close to him. He shuffled slightly more towards Richie for comfort and stared down at his Converse as silence took over all five of them.
Richie, being his normal casual self, wrapped his arm firmly around Eddie’s waist and spoke up using his British accent. “So, what do you chaps have planned for the day?”
Eddie groaned internally at the fact that Richie was so strange, and he feared what those guys would say about the placement of Richie’s arm and his weird voices, but it was like it was perfectly normal for them.
“Day off, my man!” Chilli answered for the three of them as he leant forward to give Richie a high five. “What about you guys?”
“Don’t know yet!” Richie said, continuing with the accent. “Just going to see where the day takes us, eh, Eddie Spaghetti?” He nudged Eddie with his elbow and Eddie lightly chuckled, still feeling incredibly awkward.
Eddie looked up from his shoes and to Richie. The sun was perfectly hitting the side of his face, making his freckled cheeks glow and his mop of curls shine. Eddie’s eyes lingered on the sight as Richie laughed, and he couldn’t help but think he had never seen anything more beautiful than the glorious view he had right in front of him. If he could, Eddie would have reached out and ran his hand through Richie’s soft-looking hair, and pressed his thumb onto his pink lips. But there were other people around, and this thought alone pulled Eddie out of his Richie-Tozier-Trance.
Eddie shook his head and came back to reality, where Richie was still looking at Eddie, waiting for his reply.
“Eds, what’s up?” Richie said, a hint of concern in his voice. “You’ve been acting weird all morning.”
Eddie let out a sigh. It wasn’t the time or place to let Richie know that he had Patrick Swayze-like chills whenever he looked at the Trashmouth, or that he thought Richie was the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen, or that he’s gay. No no. Definitely not the time or place.
Eddie looked up to the three bigger guys still standing with them and let out an awkward chuckle. “It’s fine, Rich. I’m all good.” He ran a hand up and down his bicep out of anxiousness and dropped his gaze back down to his feet. “Uh, it was good meeting you guys, but Rich, maybe we should keep going with the tour?”
“Ah yes! The grand tour!” Richie said, instantly dropping the topic and switching back to his British guy. He stuck his pointer finger in the air and looked back at the other boys. “Gentleman, I deliver my sincerest apologies, however, we must carry on. Pip pip and tally-ho, Eddie K!” He pointed his finger forward and wrapped an arm around loosely around Eddie's shoulders once again, then marched forward to leave the other boys behind.
Once they had walked far enough away and were approaching the dorms, Richie whispered, “saw you checking me out back there.”
Eddie froze in his spot as Richie continued on, now walking backwards as he winked at him. He’d been way too obvious. He knew it. And now he was in deep shit because Richie was going to figure out he’s gay and then hate him forever. He had to play it cool.
“Uh, yeah right. You wish, Tozier,” Eddie said. His tone was somewhat cool, but the extremely nervous look on his face gave it all away. Richie had caught him staring and there was no way Eddie was getting out of this one.
Richie’s expression changed at Eddie’s words. He turned around and walked into the dorm building as Eddie heard him whisper, “yeah, I do.”
Eddie stood still in his spot, watching Richie walk away and not quite knowing how to comprehend what he had heard. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh, then followed Richie into the building.
After climbing a single flight of stairs in pure silence, Richie stopped in front of a door that had an old stop sign on the front. He opened it up and stepped aside to let Eddie in first, and what he saw was certainly not what he was expecting. Richie’s bedroom back in Derry was known for being dirty and messy with balls of paper littering the floors, the bEdsheets always unwashed and in a tangle, and food and drinks covering the bedside table. But this room was the complete opposite. The crisp white bEdsheets were spotless and neatly tucked under the mattress, the only sign of paper was a stack of journals on the desk, and there was not a single food item on the desk - just a lamp and an alarm clock.
“Rich, this place is spotless,” Eddie said in amazement. “I never thought I’d see the day.”
Richie chuckled. “I have to keep the room tidy or else they’ll make me get a roommate. I was just lucky they gave me a single room.”
Eddie simply nodded, not really knowing how to clear the awkward tension that seemed to be slowly filling the room. And somehow, as the minutes went on, everything seemed to get more and more silent. Eddie sat down on the bed and placed his hands nervously and neatly on top of his lap as he watched Richie walk around the room, smiling at all the photos he had on the wall of the other Losers.
“Remember this day?” He said with a chuckle as he pointed to a particular picture. He pulled it off the wall and sat down next to Eddie to show him. It was a polaroid of the two of them that Beverly had taken without them realising. They were at the Quarry, and after a couple of hours of swimming, the two boys sat on their towels and talked and played slaps and laughed till their stomach’s hurt. In this particular picture, Bev had managed to capture Eddie with his head thrown back in a fit of laughter whilst Richie stared at him with a soft smile of pure adoration.
“I guess I felt it even then,” Richie said gently as he brushed his fingers across his own face in the picture. Eddie noticed his hands shaking a little as he held onto the polaroid and continued to stare at it like he couldn’t physically lift his gaze.
“Felt what?” Eddie asked. He moved his eyes from the picture and let them settle softly onto Richie's profile. His jaw looked so strong and his cheekbones so high. It seemed as though every bone in Richie's body was there for more than to just keep him up. They held a much deeper purpose. And Eddie, without taking a second thought, raised his hand and brushed his knuckles against those high cheekbones.
Richie froze as Eddie’s fingers danced along his skin so delicately and gracefully, it was almost as if he wasn’t touching him at all. Every fibre in the Trashmouth’s body told him to just lean in a kiss the smaller boy. He had been wanting to for so long, so many years. But how could Richie Tozier, a dirty kid with a smart mouth, ever be worthy of Eddie Kaspbrak?
He stayed frozen, even when Eddie retracted his hand and carefully placed it back in his lap.
“Sorry,” Eddie whispered. He felt stupid. He shouldn’t have done that. And now Richie was probably feeling awkward and wouldn’t want to be friends with him anymore. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
“Don’t be,” Richie said with a small nod. He lifted his head and met Eddie’s eyes, however, his gaze quickly dropped to his lips, instead. And, of course, right on cue, out of nerves Eddie licked his lips, and it sent Richie’s mind into a spiral. He’d never felt about anyone the way he felt about the boy sitting next to him, and the way Eddie’s hair flopped gently in his eyes, and the way his lips were now pink and glistening, and the way his full cheeks were so rosy, Richie just couldn’t help himself anymore.
“You know, Eds, there’s something about you that I can’t quite put my finger on,” Richie said softly. He leant forward and placed the tip of his index finger on Eddie’s lips. “But I think it might be these.”
Eddie breathed in deeply, not at all expecting those words to come out of Richie’s mouth. He held that breath in as Richie slowly came closer and closer, but stopped as soon as his lips just briefly met Eddie’s. Both of them sat, lips touching like feathers, but neither making a move. Eddie could feel Richie’s breath from his nose hitting his upper lip, and he could smell the faint linger of heavenly cologne and smoke from his cigarettes, which made Eddie feel like he was in a dream. He didn’t even realise how badly he had wanted this. How long he had wanted this.
“Eddie,” Richie whispered.
Eddie could hardly think of words to speak, but he managed to breathe out a quick, “yeah,” as his heart pounded fast and hard in his chest.
“What the fuck?”