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sara chidouin was a strange girl, that was for sure. with her lopsided hair and tendency to speak in a more brusque manner, joe had no problem when it came to thinking that she was the coolest person in class. and, as a boy with no shame like him, why wouldn’t he approach her outright to talk? ( even if it had slammed him in the face, he would be able to say that he tried. and really, in the end, isn’t that all that matters? )
with a leap of faith and a smile armed to the teeth with pure sunshine, it had only been a matter of time before they had grown as thick as thieves, a pair of best friends that no one could deny. sara chidouin and joe tazuna. and ryoko too, actually. that makes three, doesn’t it? just a small group of high school kids trying their best to make it though life. wasn’t that idyllic?
still, in a situation like this, joe can’t help but be relieved that it had only been the two of them that had been caught, leaving ryoko behind. sure, she would be confused, scared, and looking for them-- but that was on the outside of this prison. away from the traps, the doll limbs and the faulty lighting. it would only have to be one person he’d need to look after then. one friend is much easier to protect than two, no matter how lonely you feel.
so why was it that the world decided to give him the sacrifice of all things? a room that had once brought him comfort and solace strikes an undeniable chill that catches itself in his throat, as he can only stare and stare and stare and stare and stare. it feels like the glasses of booze surrounding him are watching him somehow, laughing at his terrible fate with a sneering glint.
in what world... was this fair? what had he done wrong? was it a sin to care for others during a death game? had it considered him foolish? easy picking for the first crop that the floor master had to cull in order for the group to move forward? there are so many thoughts, so many questions, but no answers. joe ponders for what feels like days, but comes up with nothing. thinking hadn’t been his strong point, rather, that was reserved for his partner in this whole ordeal: sara.
surely, surely if sara saw it her own face would become pale as sheet, right? she would sob and beg and panic and give him all of the feelings that she had been trying so desperately to keep inside, for both everyone’s sake and her own. if she had lost her cool, everyone wouldn’t be able to trust her as they had already grown to do.
it’s like she herself was the sun, with everyone revolving around her. while joe had thought of sara as a unique person ( totally off the walls amazing! ), something about this situation had... awakened something, deep within her. a passionate flame, a charisma that none could imitate. she was absolutely breathtaking. what a ingenious best friend he had been blessed with.
which is why when she looks at him with fearful eyes and unwanted confidence, joe lets her point towards him to announce that he is the sage.
it must have been how he had been acting. a worried disposition twisted together with an unwavering faith in her declaration as keymaster, he had stayed by her side and supported her, through and through. it was only natural. sara wasn’t the type to lie-- and, well, if she was, it would all be for a greater cause in the end anyway. he knew that. deep in his heart, he could not find a single shred of disbelief attached to her shining countenance. if there ever had been, he had cast it aside long ago. he had already seen someone die, here. he wasn’t going to abandon her, never, never, never.
for a moment, he catches someone’s eye across the room-- a blank, neverending black, ladle pressed gently against his chin as he looks the boy down with a terrifying glare, his gaze never leaving for even a moment. does... does he know? he can’t know, right? sara had convinced everyone in the room of his role in this main game! it should be fine, right? right, kai satou? joe can already feel the sweat beginning to pill on his neck and face, starting to drip down and soak into his clothing.
liar. he’s a liar. that’s right, he was doing something wrong, something completely underhanded. something that could be considered to be pure evil. these people... were all human beings too, right? they had lives to go back to, dreams to fulfill, families and friends to reunite with. for a split second, joe sees ryoko, staring him down with large, fearful eyes, asking him over and over: “ what have you done? what have you done? what have you done? “ the homemaker’s gaze ushers his attention once more though, expression smooth and seemingly endless.
... and then, kai nods.
what? ... what? he couldn’t have. no, that must have been a trick of the light-- something summoned from his panic to make him feel better, anything. he was getting psyched out, right? everyone’s eyes were on him, after all. there was no escaping their judgement, but still... he feels something. a message, a wish. something that kai wanted only him to know.
“ take care of her. “
when voting begins, joe can barely keep his head screwed on straight. the crowd assembled had been convinced that he was the safest option to keep their own hearts in their chests, their votes in tune with his heartbeat, a constant thump, thump, thump. he catches sara staring at him again, face drawn into a frown with a look of pure agony on her face. ( he wishes that he could reassure her-- but he had tried again and again, and only served to make her feel even worse. she had been the one to expose him, after all. ) the floor master watches on with delight, a certain glint in her eye that seems directed at him specifically. suddenly, she stands.
“ alright now, dear participants! “ miley exclaims with a sickening cheerfulness on her face, and all joe can think of at the sight of it is rotten candy. ( rotten, rotten, all of this was so rotten. none of this should have happened in the first place. if it hadn’t, she wouldn’t have forced him to become rotten himself. ) “ that would be the end of it. let us display the results now... “
god, god, god, the ringing in his head is so loud. he wants it to stop, he wants everything to stop. all he can think of right now are apologies, apologies to everyone looking at the screen right now, seeing the votes tally, tally, tally...
“ NO!! “
the scream is so loud compared to the silence that had overtaken the room mere moments earlier, and it repeats once more--
“ no!! p-please, not joe-- “ the rushed sound of footsteps. sara practically leaps onto her best friend, arms gripped so tightly around him that he can’t breathe. miley looks over, distaste apparent at the blatant display of attachment. ( deal with it, he thought as arms wrapped gently around the girl. you did this yourself. )
“ don’t worry, sara chidouin. you’ll both be fine. “ the phrase pushes everyone off balance, and they look about in confusion. their votes had said otherwise, right? “ for you see, the roles would be... “
when the first title spoken and claimed was sage, horror passes over everyone’s expressions, the blood draining from their face. he can feel it, now. everyone’s eyes on him as miley continues on with the keymaster. sara chidouin isn’t smiling at the confirmation of her claims, though; instead, she’s stone still in joe’s arms, unmoving, barely breathing. when the boy looks down, he sees clouded over purple irises staring back at him in complete terror. “ you lied to me, “ they seem to say.
“ you betrayed me. “
“ in a stunning turn of events, it appears that the sacrifice has won! their goal completed, they are allowed to walk free with a person of their choice. i believe that you have already decided who you will kill for... “ with a flare of the cards in her hand, the floor master fans hides her face behind the illustration of four skulls, the fifth middle card bearing the face of... “ isn’t that right, joe tazuna? “
the statement snaps something in him. in a flurry of movement, joe lets go of sara, pushing her away only to pull her back in again, this time with his hand grabbing hers and holding on with a steeled grip, and he runs.
he runs away from miley’s laughter down the hallway into the open stairwell, going up and up and up. but there’s no escaping it. as if the walls themselves are made of speakers, her cackle continues ever onward, as nao’s scream permeates through his skull and he hears a soft “ thank you “ from kai, before a large squelching noise blocks out any chance of him saying another word. everyone else joins in after that, and its in the most bone chilling way that he could imagine.
“ i’m sorry-- “ sara chokes out as she hears gin’s cry, struggling to keep up with joe’s ever quickening steps. “ i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry-- “ q-taro’s howl of pain rattles his chest, worming into his heart and making it all the harder to breathe. he can hear sou cursing, spiting the world itself as he promises that even from hell, he’ll find a way to kill a certain joe tazuna. “ i’m so sorry, i’m so-- “ was that a series of cracking with nao egokoro? her crying is so soft and so wet sounding, and she keeps repeating the phrase of “ i don’t want to die, i don’t want to die, i don’t want to die. “ “ i’m sorry-- “ keiji was such a stoic, easygoing type, joe didn’t think that he would be shaken by anything. but that impression stops as soon as he hears the other scream in pain, a certain ripping sound echoing and echoing and echoing god please please please make it stop. please stop making kanna cry, please stop calling her a sister killer, please please please. “ i-i-- “ why were reko and alice together? who would make them die together like this? just how far was the organization willing to go to stick to their sick rules? why would you leave gin all alone, a so, so, so small child to be the last one to go? why would you make it so slow, so painful, so sharp. “ i hate needles, mrow! “ he exclaims, as he cries and cries and cries. “ i-i hate big bro joe and big sis sara too! “ joe feels something wet in the corners of his eyes. “ i- i don’t want to die, woof! mom! mom--!! “ the boy is quick to wipe them away as they pick up the pace, closer and closer to that light, that salvation, that escape that they had wanted so desperately to get from the beginning. the girl isn’t saying anything anymore, but her footsteps finally fall into sync with his own, quick and desperate, and oh so sorry.
“ i-i’ll always be here for ya, sara. “ the words are spoken with incredible heart and hurt, his grip on the girl’s hand never wavering. for some reason, he can’t look back. he can’t look back because when he does, he’ll have to accept the truth of his actions.
sara is still crying.
“ i promise. “