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It’s just a checkup, is what Ryuunosuke tells himself, his teeth worrying his bottom lip betwixt them. He absentmindedly picks at the dead skin there, tongue darting out to soothe the raw areas.
“Stop that.” Gaku says from beside him, not looking away from the road. He’s always so composed, and Ryuunosuke would find it soothing if he wasn’t quite literally petrified out of his mind at the moment. “Sorry.”
“Yeah, that’s what chapstick is for, Ryuu.” He quips.
Always so cool, this one.
The truth is, Ryuunosuke isn’t scared of doctors, but he’s been going to the same one in Okinawa since he was small. He usually gets checked up every time he has the opportunity to visit, but it’s different this time, TRIGGER are on tour, and it just so happens that they’re nowhere near the Okinawa prefecture. Perfect.
To say that Ryuunosuke has had bad medical experiences when it comes to unfamiliar doctors is an understatement. Being a celebrity has compromised otherwise mundane interactions. Going out for groceries or even to the doctors like this has proved to be rather difficult and anxiety-inducing. Though, if Gaku is the one recommending the doctor this time… Well, let’s just hope Ryuu won’t have any reason to become a skeptic on his sense of judgment.
“It’s a private facility,” he’d said, and it made Ryuunosuke no less nervous,”You’ll be fine, Ryuu.” And Gaku stared at Ryuunosuke, as if he could make him say yes with just his eyes. It worked, in some odd way. Ryuunosuke was coming down with a mild cold, and their next show was in a couple of days. He couldn’t get sick now; Tenn wouldn’t let him.
The sun is coming up and melting the blue, 6 am morning away with the light of day. It’d burn so bad against Gaku’s eyes if he hadn’t been wearing some trusty shades (more for disguise than functionality), but Ryuunosuke doesn’t need any in this situation. He’s entirely too used to the sun on sandy islands and saltwater licked beaches. Ryuunosuke wills himself to think of the sound of waves crashing on the shore as Gaku has him sign some papers and leaves him in the waiting room. He’s clammy and a little too large in his chair, vision swirling in his palms from the long overdue nausea.
“T-Tsunashi Ryuunosuke…” a gentle voice whisps Ryuunosuke’s ears, and his eyes dart up to the body occupying an open door frame. The man looks soft with shock when they lock eyes, but Ryuunosuke is more than thankful for the lack of reaction beyond that. He gives a gentle tilt of his head to beckon Ryuunosuke, and he feels all too big again when he stands.
Ryuunosuke rubs at his shoulder self consciously as he follows the man to a private patient room. “I’m Dr.Osaka Sogo,” he says, as if willing himself to be louder.
It’s odd, but Ryuunosuke sees a bit of himself in this man. He moves to sit when Sogo gestures to the not large or long enough resting bed, and still feels on edge, albeit a bit calmer.
Ryuunosuke busies himself with fixating his gaze on the back of Sogo’s neck as he types away at the computer in front of them. His flushed nape contrasts with the stark white of his hair, the only hint of a reaction since the shocked look he’d gotten in the waiting room.
“You… seemed surprised to see me.” Ryuunosuke says into the silence, and he’s a bit surprised when Sogo doesn’t flinch from it.
“Yes, Well, I am a bit of a fan.” He says into the monitor,”Sorry, I’m pulling up your medical records.”
“A fan? Of me?” Ryuunosuke feels so comfortable, he almost forgets who he is. He slouches forward unconsciously, eyes still trained to Sogo’s back.
“Naturally.” Sogo sighs into the monitor, and Ryuunosuke can see the tips of his ears go red,”Anyone would be honored to work with their idol—“ Sogo’s back straightens, and Ryuunosuke sits up too out of instinct. Sogo brings a hand to his obscured face, and Ryuunosuke can imagine him touching his lips as if he said something he shouldn’t have.
The silence spreads its fingers out over the floor and crawls into their space, occupying it for a hot minute and dissolving when Sogo speaks up again.
“Tsunashi-San,” he sighs the name as he wheels around in his chair, and it sounds beautiful on his tongue, like his voice was meant for singing.
“I’m going to start the regular check up procedures now.”
He is something small and quiet; as if stuffed in a box, stifled by these four walls that feel so much more closer with Ryuunosuke in them. Ryuunosuke, who’s still too big, big and suffocating.
“First I will ask you a few questions regarding your request for this appointment,” he pulls out a clipboard and clicks a pen into visibility.
“What symptoms do you have?”
Ryuunosuke allows himself the leisure of drinking in Sogo’s visage, and he sighs outwardly with calm,”Well, I think I’ve got a mild cold. I feel overheated recently, and I get winded more than usual. Not to mention I’ve got this icky mucus-y feeling in the back of my throat.”
For all the stereotypes of doctors having bad handwriting, when Sogo scribbles dutifully on his clipboard, Ryuunosuke can’t bring himself to believe it’s true of him.
Sogo looks undoubtedly perfect on the surface; the gentle grace of his disposition makes up for his seemingly faux confidence. He seems purposeful in the way he moves, and it almost makes up for the subtle hesitance that works in equal parts of him.
“Do you have any discomfort?” Is the next question Sogo asks, pen still moving on his clipboard.
“Yeah,” Ryuunosuke says, and he almost doesn’t say anything else until Sogo stares up at him through his lashes, expression lax. “Uh, I mean, with the mucus ‘nd all, it’s a real inconvenience for me when it comes to singing.”
“Physical discomfort, Tsunashi-San,” Sogo says flatly, pen pausing against the paper. “Right.” Ryuunosuke mentally reprimands himself again,”it’s given me a bad sporadic cough when I sing too much.”
Sogo goes back to writing, and without missing a beat, asks more mundane medical questions that Ryuunosuke barely gets his mouth around an answer to.
Then he’s staring pointedly at his clipboard, exhaling heavily as if he’s given up on deciding how to ask his next question. “Tsunashi-San, pardon me, but I have to ask, are you sexually active?”
Before Ryuu can formulate a response, Sogo chimes in,”Your information is confidential, I know the abstinent reputation idols have to uphold, but please don’t feel pressured to lie.”
Ryuunosuke is quiet, and Sogo is too.
“Well,” Ryuunosuke says, flushing innocently in a way that Sogo is helplessly attracted to,”would you be able to tell if I were lying?”
Sogo’s throat goes dry, but he swallows, wetting his lips and pursing them to accentuate this ambiguous expression he’s wearing. “I wouldn’t know, of course,” truthfully,”But I would be lying if I said I would believe you if you said no.”
“I’m not,” Ryuunosuke says with finality, and there’s this odd inflection in his voice that borders on both intrigue and offense. The honesty of it is striking, and Sogo burns hot with shame. I guess he believes it then. Ryuunosuke thinks.
“What about you?” He blurts, just to even the score of initiated inappropriate exchange. Sogo looks at Ryuunosuke unamused, and the disgruntled edge to his indifferent stare looks cute on him.
“It’s hard to connect with men my age, so I’m afraid it’s been awhile.”
Ryuunosuke’s eyebrows almost shoot up into his hairline,”Men…?!”
Sogo puts a palm to his face, his red cheeks colorful and saturated against the milky white of his hand and hair. He stands and turns around to face the cabinets adorning the space near his desktop. He inhales sharply, piecing himself back together.
“…I’m… going to perform a standard physical inspection.” Sogo opens a drawer and pulls out all of the proper materials. He washes and dries his hands minutely before bringing his stethoscope around his neck.
“Let me know if you’re uncomfortable at any point in time,” he says, pulling gloves over the pale, wan skin of his veiny hands.
The inspection goes ordinarily, well, aside from the throat inspection.
Sogo had pointed a light into Ryuunosuke’s mouth, illuminating the back of his throat and his uvula. There was a moment of silence pursuing Ryuunosuke’s comedic ‘aaaa’ing, to which Sogo let his eyes daringly slide from Ryuunosuke’s open mouth up to his molten honey eyes.
If he’d done it with just a bit more force, Ryuunosuke would have no hesitation in assuming the way Sogo pressed the wide popsicle stick down on his tongue was purposeful. Needless to say, Ryuunosuke’s jaw was drawn taught, mouth opening further with the motion. And all Sogo did was look in his eyes wordlessly, before turning off the light and stepping away to discard the stick.
Ryuunosuke was pleasantly buzzing with warmth.
Well, until he saw the needle.
For someone who claimed that Ryuunosuke is his idol, Sogo looks the happiest he’s seen him weilding a syringe. Ryuunosuke starts back, alarmed,”W-What’s that?!”
“What’s what?” Sogo says innocently, approaching Ryuunosuke again in a manner that seems almost predatory,”It’s a syringe.”
“Yes. I Know that,” Ryuunosuke’s eyes burn holes into Sogo’s face,”What’s it for?”
“You signed the consent waiver for a vaccine, did you not? When was the last time you had one?”
Ah, Ryuunosuke remembers now. He remembers the paperwork shoved into his hands, and the way Gaku had looked over his shoulder,”Sign here,” he’d said, and pointed, and Ryuunosuke had done what he said mindlessly, his head filled with thoughts of his hometown; salty water and loud tides. Okinawa… he thinks again, when was the last time he went? He’d definitely gone to the doctor and gotten a vaccination shot then. How long…? He can’t remember, a year?
“It’s been awhile,” Ryuunosuke says, his tone as deflated as he looks, and his gaze switches from the needle to Sogo’s face, vulnerably.
“Good, let’s get you prepared.”
Ryuunosuke feels like the entirety of their exchange goes by in a blur after that. Including when Sogo counted down from 5, but stuck Ryuunosuke at 2. He’d worn this gratified, self serving expression while he pushed the needle in. Sogo was so happy, Ryuunosuke felt like he hadn’t known fear until he’d seen such a small, complacent man go blithe with the prospect of injecting someone; of injecting him.
Alas, all is soothed with the meticulous wiping of blood, and a ginger pat to Ryuunosuke’s back. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Ryuunosuke has a beautiful sulking face, and quite frankly, a beautiful body too. It took everything in Sogo to not give a few appreciative squeezes when he held Ryuunosuke’s arm for the shot. Even now, Sogo’s surprised that he doesn’t crumple to the floor immediately when Ryuunosuke’s glowering melts away into a smile.
“It wasn’t… I’ve had a lot of bad experiences with unfamiliar doctors,” He confesses, saying nothing while Sogo’s hand lingers on his back,”but I feel a lot better now. Thank you.”
Sogo feels his face heat up considerably, and levels an even look at his patient. Even though said patient was the “Wild and Sexy” Tsunashi Ryuunosuke. Sogo pulls his hand away, his palm uncomfortably warm.
“Yes well, we’ll see if you’ll be able to give me credit. I’ve only given you a vaccination.”
Sogo rubs absentmindedly at the hand that just touched the other, expression lax as if wired into a state of repose. Ryuunosuke smiles,”Any prescription then, Doc?”
It’s a sad excuse at flirting, because Ryuunosuke knows they’re pretty much done here; he doesn’t want to leave quite yet though.
Sogo gives a lingering stare of consideration. ”Hmmm, if it were an issue of strep throat, or you had allergies, I could prescribe you an antibiotic or a viable medicine specific to your symptoms,” He’s still rubbing at his hand, Ryuunosuke notes,”but your case doesn’t seem severe, try to get ample rest, eat healthily, and for the mucus, a regular cough syrup from a nearby pharmacy should be fine.”
“You say I should rest, but I have to stay in shape.”
Sogo can’t manage to imagine how Ryuunosuke could get any more In Shape than he is currently. “Of course.” He nods in agreement anyways.
“Is it true then, that you can sweat a fever out?” Ryuunosuke asks the question whilst checking the time on his phone, 7:34 am. He looks back up at Sogo.
“In the case that your fever overheats you and you sweat profusely, yes; but overexerting your body while you’re sick for the sake of perspiring isn’t logical.”
Ryuunosuke nods wordlessly, and they stare at one another, this inexplicable attraction making them complacent in each other’s company.
“Can I have your number?” Ryuunosuke blurts out dumbly.
Sogo looks unmoved as ever, and it makes something cold like fear rest into Ryuunosuke’s stomach. Then, an emptiness comes, his stomach dropping into it as he’s hit with the acceptance of rejection.
“Sure,” is Sogo’s even response.
When Ryuunosuke hands Sogo his phone, their fingers touch like a gentle kiss, and it takes everything in Sogo to will himself not to react. This is unreal, he thinks.
He simultaneously curses his fingers for stilling; and just like that, his mind goes blank and he forgets the last three digits of his phone number.
“Is everything alright?” Ryuunosuke is there, not even reaching a hand out for fear of the unknown reaction. “You know, you told me not to lie to protect myself, so I can just say, you don’t have to put in a fake number if you don’t want to talk to me on the ph—“
“That’s not it!”
Even though Sogo shouts, his voice is still quiet. His face goes pink around the bridge of his nose, his flush spreading out amongst his round cheeks and tinting the tips of his ears.
“I’m sorry, Tsunashi-San,” he says, his complexion going ashen as if he’d done something morbid. Sogo looks stricken with disbelief at himself, and Ryuunosuke watches him visibly piece himself back together with a deep breath. “I was just a bit nervous. This is like a dream come true.”
He’s sincere, Ryuunosuke thinks, and then he wonders why he wouldn’t be. Sogo looks like he doesn’t lie to anyone except himself.
For all of the guilty sulking he’s doing beneath that cool facade, Sogo dutifully finishes putting his number in Ryuunosuke’s phone.
Ryuunosuke smiles at the screen, and looks up at Sogo who’s smiling rather softly at him.
When Ryuunosuke reenters the waiting area, he spares one last glance at Sogo who holds the door open for him. They exchange fond looks, and Ryuunosuke feels very warm because of it.
Not even the always cool Gaku could starch the flame in his chest. “We have to go,” he’d said, waving Sogo and the cherry-nailed receptionist goodbye dismissively,”Thank you for your tiiime!”
“How long were you waiting for?” Ryunosuke asks, all big, still, when he stands over the car and watches Gaku pull open his own door. “Around 15 minutes,” he says flatly, glancing at Ryuu before he gets in. Ryuunosuke follows suit, and it takes a few tugs for the seatbelt to come out. “That’s not long.”
“For you,” Gaku snaps, and Ryuunosuke gives a flippant smile so he doesn’t end up rolling his eyes. “Yeah, sorry.”
They’re in Saitama, not far from Tokyo, and Ryuunosuke allows himself the pleasure of drinking in the city now that he’s not stressed about the doctors…
Ryuunosuke thinks of the Saitama Super Arena. He thinks about how many people are driving throughout the city, how many of them will come see TRIGGER… come see him. He lifts his phone, unlocking it and staring at Sogo’s name in it. He saved himself as “Osaka Sogo”, How formal.
Ryuunosuke changes it to “Sogo-Kun” with a purple heart next to it reminiscent of his striking violet eyes.