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1 – the one when they were trainees
tzuyu doesn't understand jeongyeon.
it is a thought that constantly recurs in the young taiwanese girl’s mind, and no matter how hard she tries to think of other things, her restless brain can’t help but bring it up. she couldn’t understand yoo jeongyeon.
couldn’t understand why the older girl, who she had never met before they became trainees, showed nothing but care for her when she first arrived. couldn’t understand why she never tired of asking tzuyu how her day was, listening patiently despite the foreign girl’s limited korean vocabulary and broken sentences. couldn’t understand just how it was that the curve of her lips and the warmth of her smile calmed tzuyu down and made her feel at home.
chou tzuyu just doesn’t understand a lot of things, she concluded, not wanting to delve any deeper into analyzing her feelings.
so when yoo jeongyeon taps her on the shoulder after practice that afternoon, asking her if she wanted to sneak out on a bike ride, tzuyu doesn’t understand the hard flip her stomach does, causing herself to break out in a wide (was it giddy?) smile while nodding yes. she doesn’t understand why her heart starts beating faster when she wraps her arms around jeongyeon’s slim waist as the older girl pedals off towards gangnam river, and she certainly doesn’t understand the nigh overwhelming feeling of never wanting the afternoon to end creeping up on her, causing her grip on jeongyeon’s hand to tighten even just the slightest bit.
of course, ever the observant character, jeongyeon does not fail to notice. they are both seated on a soft patch of grass now, old bicycle parked to the side, rocking every time a gust of wind blew in their direction. tzuyu is quiet, consumed in her own thoughts and not knowing what to say other than “wow, it’s beautiful here” — so jeongyeon contents herself with laying her head on tzuyu’s shoulder and agreeing with her.
tzuyu can’t remember when it happened — probably somewhere after the breeze blows a couple of her stray hair strands into her face, prompting jeongyeon to tuck them back softly behind tzuyu’s ear — but a magnetic silence seems to have settled in between them: their faces inches from each other, their eyes searching. for what, exactly, tzuyu has no idea.
all she knows is that she can hear her own blood pumping in her ears, and that jeongyeon is leaning even closer and so is she, and her heart is beating so fast and so loud that she's scared jeongyeon could hear it, so she flutters her eyes closed just as jeongyeon does—
“geez, we were looking all over for you!”
the two break apart in a beat, like two similar poles of a magnet. they act nonchalantly (despite the matching pink blushes on their faces), and tzuyu is left wondering that night, tossing and turning in her bed as she tries to sort through her confusing feelings.
eventually, she decides that she just doesn’t understand herself, and leaves it at that.
2 – the one with the kissy face on the train
it hadn’t been long since their debut, and the twice members were now shooting for their very own reality tv show. after the grueling roller coaster ride that was sixteen, their schedules were now packed; debuting meant more work to do, and more work to do meant that tzuyu wouldn’t have as much free time for herself to be able to reflect on her feelings, and having less time to reflect on her feelings meant that she didn’t have to be as confused as she was before.
which was probably a good thing. for her, at least. tzuyu’s waking hours didn’t have to be spent thinking about a certain lego-loving unnie who for whatever reason refused to leave her brain, and tzuyu was totally fine with that.
it’s the dreams that she has a problem with, the sleeping thoughts that she can’t control.
(just sometimes — only when she remembers them, or when they’re the more vivid ones.)
after all, how was she supposed to tell Dream Tzuyu that she wasn’t supposed to be smiling tenderly at Dream Jeongyeon that way? how was she supposed to stop Dream Tzuyu from leaning in, about to lock lips with Dream Jeongyeon who was so irresistibly beautiful that she just couldn’t help it?
the members, including Real Jeongyeon, are in a fit of giggles after exiting the train and almost leaving Real Definitely-Not-Dreaming-Anything-Weird Tzuyu behind. she doesn’t answer when they ask what she was dreaming about that caused her to pucker up her lips in real life; tzuyu was too busy trying to erase that dream from her memory as fast as she could.
there was no way she was going to dwell on this. nope, not at all.
3 – the one with descendants of the sun
maybe she was running away from things. running away always was the easier option, and anyway, things had been going quite well until she was chosen for the acting unit to parody descendants of the sun.
of all the people to be paired up with, it just had to be yoo jeongyeon.
… not that she had anything against her unnie! (except maybe that she never seemed to fail at making tzuyu’s stomach flutter, and now that they were paired up as a couple, godjihyo only knows how tzuyu is going to react.)
there isn’t really much she can do about it now, anyway. it shouldn’t be so hard. sure, jeongyeon looks ridiculously attractive in that uniform and sure, she was going to have to stare into jeongyeon’s gorgeous eyes and face and lips for probably the rest of the afternoon, but it really shouldn’t be so hard.
(she says it like a mantra in her head.)
“a kiss scene? there’s going to be a kiss scene?” jeongyeon asks the PD, who only laughs at the face she is making, not bothering to reply.
“but how are we going to do it? i’m wearing heels,” tzuyu says, trying not to mind the gay panic bubbling up in her chest. deciding to make light of the situation, she sticks her chin out and pouts jokingly. “we can do it like this, right?”
jeongyeon stays solemn, though, and instead of laughing—
“...do you really want to kiss me?”
tzuyu pauses, at a loss for words. the gay panic levels begin to rise, and her first instinct is to glance warily at the camera; it isn’t until jeongyeon grins playfully at her that tzuyu realizes her unnie was just kidding around. two can play at that game, she thinks bitterly, moving closer to the uniform-clad girl leaning against the shelf.
“i’m really going to do it.”
jeongyeon’s eyes widen as tzuyu wraps her arm around her, puckering her lips and pulling the older girl in for a kiss.
“are you crazy?”
she leans away and retreats from tzuyu’s advance while laughing, but the unease in her eyes is poorly masked. tzuyu couldn’t help but notice how slowly and half-heartedly jeongyeon was pulling away from her.
for the briefest of moments, she wondered if maybe, just maybe, yoo jeongyeon wanted to kiss her too.
4 – the one in the movie house
tzuyu didn’t know when and how it happened exactly, but she and jeongyeon had become movie buddies as of late. almost every week when they had free time they’d go out to watch a movie, and to tzuyu, the whole situation was a tad bit too reminiscent of their pre-debut days.
she swore she wouldn’t look at this another way, did her best not to add any meaning behind these dates, because they were friends – friends went on movie dates, that was normal! yes, jeongyeon gave her the tummy flippies and the heart beatsies, but she was a really cool, caring, and attractive friend, of course she’d make anybody’s heart race. of course.
it doesn’t help that chou tzuyu is easily distracted, but that is a fact she has come to accept.
so when she finds herself unable to look away as the movie screen lights up yoo jeongyeon’s face in many different colours, she forgives herself for staring. at the moment, it seems that jeongyeon herself forgives her for it, too.
somehow, the older girl forgets the uneaten popcorn sitting in her lap.
(cheese, her favourite flavour.)
somehow, tzuyu is tempted to lean in, drawn into the familiar magnetic atmosphere that always seemed to overcome them both.
they were friends. that was normal. they were friends, that was normal.
a small, almost tender smile spreads across jeongyeon’s lips, and she reaches out with a hand to brush some crumbs off tzuyu’s cheek.
“you got some cheese dust on your face.”
the taiwanese girl suddenly doesn’t remember how to breathe, especially not after jeong scoots closer to rest her head on the maknae’s shoulder.
5 – the one where they went to Switzerland
tzuyu has always prided herself in being able to recognize the beauty in even the simplest of things.
from the soft sunlight filtering in through the blinds in the morning to the shimmer of city lights that shone ever so brightly at night, to the soft glow of yoo jeongyeon’s cell phone screen casting shadows across her face — it really wasn’t so difficult, and anyway, the silent maknae had always been the more observant type.
not that she was staring at the short-haired blonde next to her, because she wasn’t.
(maybe just a little bit.)
tzuyu relishes the comfortable silence in the hotel room, quieter now that momo had gone off to hang out with sana for their signature late-night mukbang. her eyes trail the off-white paint of the ceiling, taking in the details of the chandelier hanging above the bed she currently shared with jeongyeon. drowning in her own thoughts, she almost doesn’t notice that the girl beside her has taken her hand, playing with it absentmindedly while scrolling through the phone she held in the other.
tzuyu wonders what it is on twitter that the older girl is laughing at when she giggles at her screen. there is no way she notices the tiny dimple at the corner of jeongyeon’s mouth that appears whenever her lips pull into a half-smile — no way she notices how a few strands of jeongyeon’s bangs are dangerously close to getting in her eye, no way she notices the slight scrunch jeongyeon does with her nose when she grins at her screen for the nth time that night — and there is definitely no way chou tzuyu notices she’s staring again.
the younger girl’s mind barely registers jeongyeon turning her phone off, shifting to her side to face tzuyu. surprisingly, she doesn’t flinch, despite the increased lack of space between them.
more silence. a beat, maybe two.
jeongyeon’s eyes crinkle in a small smile.
“hi,” the short-haired girl greets, and tzuyu is tempted, so, so tempted, her heart beating so fast she wonders if it would burst the moment she leans in towards jeongyeon-with-that-stupid-soft-look-in-her-eyes. still, she chooses not to say anything.
instead, the taiwanese girl rests her forehead against jeongyeon’s, pulling the blankets more tightly around her shoulders and shutting her eyelids closed.
“good night, unnie. sweet dreams.”
6 – the one when they finally stop being cowards
filming days were long days.
they began too early and ended way too late, especially if they were filming for a music video. prep started at 3am in the morning, and most of the time, tzuyu had never felt the need to be more than half-awake in the dressing room, usually dozing off as the stylists for the day fixed her up for the day’s work.
more often than not, the taiwanese girl would count down the hours in her head, looking forward to the director’s final “cut!” for the day — so why did it seem to be the last thing she wanted to hear, this time?
tzuyu wishes she understood herself.
“—and cut!”
the director flashes a thumbs up to signal the end of their filming, and tzuyu lets out a breath that she doesn’t realize she’s been holding. somehow, the feeling of loss creeps up on her.
maybe it had something to do with the fact that her partner for the day was none other than yoo jeongyeon herself. maybe it had something to do with how handsome yoo jeongyeon looked in her romeo costume, and maybe it had something to do with how much tzuyu enjoyed working with her favourite unnie for the first time in a long while. maybe.
(perhaps tzuyu understands herself more than she initially thought.)
the taiwanese girl repeats the “you’ve done well” and grateful bow that her partner for the day does, taking extra care with the wings the stylists attached to the back of her dress when she walks slowly towards the right exit of the stages. whether she was being careful or stalling, she doesn't know.
(she doesn’t want to think too much about it.)
“psst, tzuyu.”
jeongyeon sounds uncharacteristically shy and quiet, hand on tzuyu’s shoulder stopping the younger girl from going down the set stage.
“still got some energy left?”
tzuyu knows this tone all too well — it’s just been a while since she’s heard it. her (bad! misbehaving!!) stomach does another little flip, but she’s grown pretty accustomed to the weird feelings yoo jeongyeon incites from her at this point — no thanks to the large amount of romeo-juliet skinship she’d had to do with her for the day.
(the butterflies stayed in her stomach, but for once she thinks that they’ve given her a bit more of a confidence boost this time.)
a questioning look crosses jeongyeon’s face when tzuyu lays her own hand on hers, turning to the korean girl with — was that mischief? — in her eyes.
“wanna sneak out for a bit, unnie?”
jeongyeon had always been the one to ask — but switching things up a bit wouldn’t hurt, tzuyu figures. maybe she’s relieved that she’s not the only one wanting to spend more time with the other.
jeongyeon grins and the taiwanese girl pulls her out of the back door and towards the direction of gangnam river before the older girl can say anything else. it isn’t long until they are both back in their usual pre-debut hangout spot, sitting on the riverbank and hoping that grass stains wouldn’t ruin their costumes too much.
“have i really become that predictable?” jeongyeon asks, prompting a nonchalant shrug from the girl beside her.
“meh, you’re just boring.”
tzuyu says it with a blank look on her face, in her typical deadpan fashion.
“you’re so annoying!”
the unamused female romeo harrumphs, shoving her companion lightly and crossing her arms. tzuyu just laughs and leans closer to jeongyeon’s side.
“you know you love me,” the younger girl quips matter-of-factly, a small smile still on her lips. she isn’t sure exactly what came over her to say that in the moment — and to jeongyeon-unnie, no less — but the words have already tumbled out of her mouth and the familiar gay panic is beginning to bubble up inside her once more, so she decides to shut her mouth for the time being.
(she hopes with all her heart that jeongyeon wasn’t paying attention.)
the cricket chirps in the night get a bit more overwhelming in the silence that follows where jeongyeon rests her head on tzuyu’s shoulder, but the older girl’s voice is low and sobre when she speaks.
“yeah, i really do.”
she is gazing at tzuyu now, head tilted with some kind of expectant look in her eyes that absolutely ruins the taiwanese’s steady heartbeat for good.
a small half-scoff-half-laugh escapes the (inwardly) panicking maknae’s lips, looking back at jeongyeon with mock disgust evident in her smile. she almost starts when the girl on her shoulder just chooses to laugh at her own corny response, lightly poking the dimple on tzuyu’s left cheek.
(that’s become a habit of hers, over the years.)
they continue to enjoy the scenery, a familiar memory playing in the back of their minds.
“...i mean it, you know.”
the words catch tzuyu even more off guard. jeongyeon is gazing at the city lights past the river, swallowing as she fidgets with her hands. the breeze is light, but why does tzuyu feel as though the wind is roaring in her ears?
(still, it’s quiet. too quiet.)
a small sigh.
jeongyeon drops her head, nothing but grass (slowly blurring grass?) filling her vision, swallowing tightly.
“sorry. i just— i wanted you to know. it’s been a long while and i just thought— i just need to get it out so i can get over it, you know?”
the short-haired girl forces a smile but doesn't — can't seem to bring herself to — look directly at tzuyu:
the chou tzuyu that is having a hard time processing the situation at hand, palms sweating and unsure of what to do because the unnie she’s had a crush on since forever just admitted to having feelings for her too, unshed tears in her eyes because she was sad, and tzuyu was sitting right there beside her not knowing what to do, watching as jeongyeon rubs at her right eye with a little sniffle that she hides behind a pained cough—
and tzuyu still doesn't know what to do, because yoo jeongyeon is hugging her knees to her chest now, the smile on her face not hiding the fact that she looks as though her heart has been broken into tiny little pieces, despite tzuyu knowing that the older girl shouldn't be feeling that way because goddamn it she loves her too, the lump in her throat just made it so difficult to say anything—
(oh, to hell with words.)
she feels butterflies flutter in her stomach when she takes jeongyeon’s face in her hands without warning, wiping a stray tear with her left thumb as she leans in to capture the crying girl’s lips with her own.
(it’s a salty kiss, but tzuyu decides that it’s one of the best she’s ever tasted.)
the butterflies multiply when she feels jeongyeon press back, wrapping her arms around the kneeling girl’s neck. they pull away with jeongyeon silently searching the younger girl’s eyes for an explanation, confused, even as the maknae rests her forehead tenderly against hers.
“stop crying, stupid, i love you too,” is all tzuyu says, and yoo jeongyeon doesn't hold back the incredulous laugh that escapes her.
“god, i really don’t understand you, chou tzuyu.”
the short-haired blonde pulls her in for another kiss. tzuyu wants to say she doesn't understand herself, either, but decides she’d really rather tell the other girl later.
… maybe after five more kisses, she thinks.
(they ended up kissing longer than that.)