Chapter Text
Matt felt like shit, and he knew it wasn’t hiding it well.
He might have gotten away with his first bout of silence during recording. He’d been wandering aimlessly back and forth in Minecraft and hadn’t replied to a couple of questions directed at him which had luckily been dealt with by other members of the group. After about ten minutes (so he was told) of silence, Geoff reached back to shake his shoulder and gave him a questioning thumbs up after catching his attention. He’d sent an unconvincing thumbs up back and returned to the video with a laugh as vacant as he felt.
Even when Gavin had caught him staring into space, having to spin his chair around to catch his attention, he’d been able to brush it off as tiredness. Everyone knew Matt had a tendency to stay up too late and they accepted the excuse.
Refusing donuts at lunch was probably the tell-tale sign. Michael and Lindsay had bought enough for everyone in Achievement Hunter, and somehow Michael had noticed that Matt didn’t join the rush to grab one.
He approached Matt and tapped at the headphones he was wearing until he took them off.
“Hey Bragg, there’s donuts over there.”
“Oh, thanks but I’m not really hungry today.”
Michael opened his mouth and Matt braced for the obvious joke but it never came. Instead Michael shrugged and walked away.
The other guys in the room seemed to pick up on Matt’s lack of energy right away and the room’s usual chatter was stilted. When Matt spilled his coffee for the second time, it passed without comment as the first time had. Alfredo silently helped to mop up the mess and Jeremy left the room as he offered to get Matt a new cup.
***
It wasn’t unusual for him to be one of the last in the office, he found that he avoided a lot of traffic by staying a bit later. However, the last half hour had been spent with his head on the desk, trying to think his way out of the predicament he’d found himself in.
Geoff walked into the room and started when Matt sat up at his desk.
“Jeez Matt, I didn’t know you were still here. Man, you look like crap.”
Matt didn’t have the heart to fire back a snarky response when he saw the look of genuine concern of Geoff’s face, and opted for a shrug instead.
“Right come on, we’re going for donuts,” Geoff held up a hand to cut off Matt’s protests, “Nuh-uh. I know for a fact that you didn’t have one at lunch and that bitch Ryan ate mine, and probably yours too.”
***
“Oh come on, people have been noticing it all day,” Geoff handed a donut to Matt as he took a seat next to him on the park bench. “Oh I'm just tired," he mocked, in a voice very reminiscent of Eeyore.
"No one's been falling for your excuses, we all know what tired Matt looks like and this isn’t it. Hell, I haven’t seen you this down since Ally broke up with you.”
Geoff spotted Matt’s wince and groaned, “Don’t tell me she broke up with you again . That would be impossible but knowing your luck...”
Matt picked at the sprinkles on his donut, eating them one by one. It helped him to avoid eye contact with Geoff briefly but he knew he wasn’t getting out of this one. Geoff had threatened to abandon him in this park he’d driven them to if Matt didn’t tell him why he’d been having such a shitty day, and Matt didn’t doubt that he’d go through with it.
"She’s getting married.”
“Shit dude, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, and I promised I’d go to the wedding when she rang this morning.”
“Uh, excuse me, what?”
Matt realised how it sounded when he said it out loud. Okay, so maybe he’d lied to Ally when he said he felt the same about their break up and of course they could still be friends. Maybe it was actually taking him years to get over her. Maybe Ally was blissfully unaware of this and kept making plans with Matt and inviting him to things. Maybe it was a lovely friendship from her perspective and heart wrenching pining from his. Maybe.
It wasn't like Matt was hoping for them to get back together, he knew their time was over. He’d even had relationships since then, but he just couldn’t seem to get over her. As her friend, he had to go to her wedding, even if it hurt a bit.
Explaining this to Geoff wasn’t easy, he’d managed to get half a word out before he was interrupted.
“Hey Matt? Remember that time I told you you have to stop seeing this chick because it’s clearly tearing you up?”
Matt sighed and slumped back, taking a big bite of his donut. He almost regretted telling Geoff about all that stuff with Ally, but it wasn’t as if he’d had a choice. He’d been drunk and sad in front of him too many times to stop himself.
“Ugh Geoff I’ve really fucked things up. I fuckin’ told her-” Matt groaned and took a bite of his donut so that his words became unintelligible.
“Matt…” Geoff sounded like he was warning him, about something he was far too late to stop.
“I told her... I’mdatingthisguy and now she wants to...meet him before the wedding.”
The words came out in a jumble but Geoff evidently grasped their meaning; he started a number of sentences he didn’t seem able to finish and eventually just threw his hands up in disbelief. After getting that off his chest, Matt wasn’t able to stop his runaway train of thought.
“I wanted to show her that I was doing fine without her, that I wasn't pathetic and alone when obviously I am . But I can’t let her down because I promised and if I show up by myself she’ll know something’s up. Yeah, and the only people I’ll know there were “our” friends and they’ll definitely make a thing of it, and I don’t want to go alone and-”
“Alright, alright I accept.” Geoff was smiling now despite having made no sense at all.
“I’m not sure if you’ve ever had a conversation before Geoff but typically you reply to people rather than making weird random statements.”
Geoff clapped a hand to Matt’s back, “That wasn’t a conversation, it was a dumpster fire. One that I might just be able to extinguish.”
“Dude, what the fuck is this metaphor?” Matt turned his attention back to his donut.
“Hey, I'm the one who reads and shit. You telling your ex that you’re bringing your imaginary boyfriend to her wedding is the dumpster fire. I’m gonna extinguish it by-”
“By pissing all over it.”
“By being your fake boyfriend.”
Matt almost spat out his mouthful, “Mmf, wha-?”
“I accept your request for me to be your pretend date to this wedding”
Matt had a pained expression that wasn’t entirely down to the piece of donut he’d swallowed without chewing properly. Pretending to date his sort-of-boss? And doing it convincingly? The very prospect sent his heart rate into overdrive.
“I didn’t ask for that.”
“Only because you weren’t smart enough to come up with it,” Not only did Geoff seem serious about this idea, he looked excited. “This way you won’t have to bail on Ally, you can show me off in front of your so called “friends”. Plus, if you wanna get shitfaced at the wedding I can make sure you don’t do anything stupid and I’ll drive you home.”
Matt chewed thoughtfully and swallowed. There certainly were a lot of positives to this plan. It helped that Geoff was an attractive dude, people would be impressed. Plus, with Geoff by his side at the wedding he might actually have some fun. At the very least he might not have the worst day of his life.
“You’re serious about this right?” Matt wanted to make sure it wasn’t some terrible practical joke, although this would be too far even for Geoff, “you’re really gonna help me?”
Geoff’s smile softened a little, “Matt, if you have to go to this wedding, I’m not letting you go stag. Friends don't let friends look pathetic and alone to their exes. Who knows, seeing Ally get married might help you finally get over her.”
He dusted the powdered sugar off of his trousers and stood up, “Go on then, ask me.”
“Oh, come on…”
“Nope. You’re not getting a date with this hot piece of ass unless you ask nicely first.”
Matt sighed and practically gritted his teeth as he spoke, “Geoff Ramsey, would you do me the honour of deceiving my ex and her wedding guests into thinking we are a normal, happy couple?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
“Geoff you just fucking told me to.”
***
After texting back and forth, Matt made plans for Ally to meet Geoff a couple of days later. In the process, he’d had to break the news to Geoff that the wedding was actually in a couple of weeks. He’d been procrastinating confirming his presence at the wedding, having repressed the fact that he’d even received an invitation since he’d read Ally’s name entwined with someone else’s and surrounded by flowery doodles. Luckily she was in Austin for the week as two of her bridesmaids were here and they were… doing whatever people do to get ready for a wedding.
Geoff had offered to drive Matt to the café where they were meeting Ally, pointing out that it would be a little suspicious for them to arrive and leave totally separately, even if they weren’t claiming to live together. It also gave Matt the chance to have a last minute freak out en route.
“She’s gonna catch us out, we are so screwed. Should we have like, memorised stuff about each other?”
“She isn’t going to be interrogating us dumbass. We’ve known each other for what, five years? We should know more about each other than people who’ve been dating each other for half a year.”
As Geoff turned left Matt reached out to grip the door for security, an action that had more to do with his own nerves than Geoff’s driving.
“Yeah but we hardly ever see each other outside of work,” Matt’s breathing stuttered and the pitch of his voice rose, “We haven’t even come up with a story for how we met!”
“That’s easy, we tell her the truth. Sort of.” Geoff pulled into the car park and craned his neck as he searched for a space, “We met when I hired you, been working together for years, started having feelings… a while back, then seven months ago I asked you for a date. It’s been going well ever since. We'll make it sound romantic as dicks.”
Before Matt could question the choice of simile, Geoff pulled into a space and he spotted a familiar car. He recognised it from the last time he met Ally and sure enough she was stood next to it. She had let her hair return to its natural brown colour so that only the ends were navy blue now. Other than that she looked the same as she had a few months ago. She shielded her eyes from the sun and waved when she recognised Matt, rising up onto her toes as if that would help them see her better. Matt waved back and Geoff followed suit.
Geoff turned off the ignition and turned to Matt, “There’s still time to tell her your very embarrassing truth. But if I get out of the car there’s no going back, you ready?”
He wasn't trying to convince Matt to back out. In fact, it felt like he was doing the opposite. Matt was beginning to think he was a glutton for punishment, the risk element suddenly held some interest for him. He’d been working at Achievement Hunter for too damn long.
“Are you?”
Geoff scoffed at the challenge, “Let’s see how it goes, shall we?”
Matt’s legs were only a little unsteady as they got out of the car. Geoff quickly made his way to Matt’s side, very close to Matt’s side actually. As the few inches of space between friends and boyfriends dissipated, Matt felt his heart falter. Let the charade begin.
After Matt and Ally had hugged, Geoff offered her a handshake. His wide smile would have looked perfectly genuine to most people, but Matt knew better. Luckily, Ally couldn’t know that it was just too sweet to be real.
“Hi Ally, I’m Geoff,” Ally returned the handshake enthusiastically and Geoff clasped her hand in both of his for a moment, “I’ve heard a lot of good things about you.”
It was true, Matt supposed. All the times he’d told Geoff that Ally had been too good for him in many ways were complimentary in a sense. Not that he’d like her to hear about that.
“Geoff! Unfortunately, I’ve heard almost nothing about you,” she threw a look of mock annoyance to Matt, “You’ve been together seven months and I only found out you existed the other day”
Matt had told Ally in their last conversation that he was waiting until things were going really well with Geoff before introducing him to friends and family and he repeated this excuse now.
Geoff nodded, “Yeah, plus we’ve had to keep it under wraps at work for now so it was easier to keep it secret in general. Workplace relationships, you know? There’s rules and paperwork and office gossip to deal with. We wanted to be sure.”
The charming smile Geoff gave Matt was just too weird. This was his boss, and now Matt had to deal with flirting and affection from him? The fact that it was all pretend didn’t seem to help. Not to mention, Matt was supposed to reciprocate appropriately. Maybe this wasn’t going to be as easy as he had let Geoff convince him into thinking it would be.
***
Matt was surprised by how well Geoff and Ally were getting on. Geoff had only pretended to forget her name a couple of times before he was sucked into laughing at her jokes and bonding over how “useless” Matt was. Affectionately of course, which somehow made it weirder.
“Would you believe it Ally,” Geoff began, gesturing to Matt with a jerk of the head, “he hasn’t even told me where the wedding is yet.”
Ally rolled her eyes, amused, “Dallas. Maybe I should text you the address to make sure you guys actually get there. Don’t tell me he hasn’t asked you about the party the night before?”
Geoff just gave Matt a sideways questioning glance and Ally groaned exaggeratedly at Matt’s shrug. Luckily, she’d seen nothing fishy about Matt’s lack of organisation. He supposed he should be thankful that his initial avoidance of Ally’s wedding could be disguised as a default character trait.
“Yeah, David and I aren’t doing the whole batchelor/batchelorette thing, just a joint party the night before. I’d love it if you guys could make it. I really want you to meet David before the actual wedding.”
Matt was worried that turning this into a weekend long deception would be a deal breaker for Geoff but he smiled, taking it in stride.
“Absolutely. Matt and I have been trying to get a weekend away anyway, isn’t that right babe?”
Babe.
Matt was thankful for the universe’s timing. If that bombshell of a word had come two seconds later Matt would have been choking on his soda. As it was, he managed to hide his surprise behind his glass and taking a sip gave him a chance to process. Oh he was going to kill Geoff. He was one more sickly smile or, god forbid, another pet name away from homicide.
Although, when he thought about it, Geoff was only doing what he was supposed to do. Treating him like his boyfriend. God, Matt was out of practice. He sent a quick mental fuck you to whatever universal force had put him in this situation and dragged himself back into the conversation.
“Uh, yeah. Let’s hope we can get a room booked at short notice.”
Let's hope not , more like. Every minute of make-believe felt like a push towards a full scale breakdown. Maybe this was how Britney felt before she shaved her head.
Ally swatted the statement away, “Don’t worry about that, the wedding and reception are at the same hotel and we’ve got plenty of rooms booked for guests. Now you have no excuse for being late,” Ally leaned in and lowered her voice meaningfully “and you lovebirds can sneak off whenever you like. I’ve heard that weddings really put people in the mood. Oh! Speaking of...”
Ally pulled her backpack onto her lap and began rummaging, thankfully missing the pink tinge on Matt’s cheeks. He looked to a smirking Geoff who winked at him. Matt’s heart slumped against his ribcage with a thump that had to be audible.
He pulled his eyes away from Geoff in time to see Ally produce a camera from the depths of her bag, “Here we are. I have to admit guys, I did have an ulterior motive in meeting you today.”
Even Geoff seemed concerned by this and Ally chuckled as she fiddled with the settings.
“Don’t worry, I’m doing this with all the guests. Just a little project I want you to be part of. A souvenir, a memento. Alright, squish together, squish!”
Geoff rested his arm on the back of Matt’s chair and leaned in. Matt met him halfway and felt his mouth go dry as he attempted to smile.
Ally groaned, “Oh come on, you’re looking at the camera like I’m holding a shotgun. Give us a smile or do something fun.”
Matt didn’t have time to figure out what “something fun” might be since Geoff had apparently decided for him. Geoff flashed a brief grin and launched into tickling Matt. Matt yelped at the sudden contact to his waist, grabbing uselessly at Geoff’s hands.
For a few moments, it was as if Ally wasn’t there. Geoff’s was teasing Matt, his voice light-hearted and affectionate, but Matt couldn’t hear what he was saying over his own uncontrollable laughter.
Eventually Geoff changed tactic and grabbed Matt’s wrists to stop the retaliatory jabs, an arm around him to reach his furthest hand. At the relief that this lack of tickling brought, Matt collapsed into Geoff’s side, shoving him lightly but still chuckling.
That’s when Geoff turned his head and pressed his lips to Matt’s cheek. It was slower than a peck, as if pushing meaning into the movement, and Matt lost his breath for a second.
“Aw that was perfect,” Ally set her camera down, face beaming, “I promise I’ll use the most flattering ones.”
Geoff had let go, but their personal space was still almost non-existent. The outrage Matt had felt earlier had melted away though. Screw it, he thought. This is how a real couple would be, right? And it wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, aside from the possibly permanent damage to his heart and nerves. They stayed like that until Matt had to use the bathroom, leaving the two alone together. Matt realised that he was now a lot less worried about Geoff, it was clear he was going to take this endeavour seriously and he was pretty fucking good at it.
***
As Matt made his way back to the table he saw Ally holding the camera across to Geoff who was smiling and nodding. But there was something else in his expression, a split second shift in his body language that he corrected immediately but left echoes in the glances he gave to the photographs.
Ally sensed Matt approaching and put the camera into her bag, standing up as she did so “No sneak peeks for you Matt, but your boyfriend was too charming to refuse.”
Matt laughed, “That’s Geoff alright.”
“I’m sorry I have to rush off, it’s a busy day unfortunately,” Ally stood on her tiptoes to hug Matt, “It’s been good to see you, you’ve really picked a winner there.”
Geoff shot Matt a look that said “ See?” over Ally’s shoulder and gave her a quick hug when she turned to him.
“Now, you seem like a great guy,” Ally began, a playful seriousness creeping into her tone, “but if you hurt Matt, you’re gonna have me to deal with. Look after him, yeah?”
“For as long as he’ll let me.” Geoff assured.
As he said this, Matt felt a hand brush against his. He restrained himself from flinching and when Geoff's fingers wound their way through his, he tightened his hand reflexively.
***
“I think this is gonna work.”
“Mhm?” Matt looked up from his phone. He’d been idly opening apps and closing them again, with no aim other than to distract himself from that whole series of events.
“She let me peek at the photos of us. They’re cute. Convincing, ya know?”
“Well that’s good, I guess. Now we only have dozens of old friends and strangers left to convince”
Geoff groaned, “You always have to be glass-half-fuckin-empty, don’t you? Look, we did pretty well today, despite the fact that we didn't have each others social security numbers and fuckin’... horoscopes memorised”
“I’ve technically known you for quite a bit longer than 5 years…” This was something that wasn’t often mentioned in the office, and Matt was grateful for that. Apart from the rare comment from Gavin about Matt being a fanboy and getting his rocks off to achievement guides, his fan to employee status wasn’t a primary focus. He was hesitant to bring it up, he didn’t want to analyse this situation in that context.
Geoff only hummed in admission, “And I’m a good listener.”
Although it was second-nature to cut down Geoff’s self-congratulatory claims, Matt had to admit that their debut as a “couple” had gone smoothly.
“Yeah, we're the dream team I guess."