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He’d come to the ready room a little earlier than usual, with a stack of PADDs. She looked up at him, noted the exhaustion in his eyes that no doubt mirrored her own, yet he had that pleasant smile she’d become accustomed to.
“Sorry to disturb you Captain, but I couldn’t stay in the mess hall with these reports for a second longer. Neelix burned the leola stew again.”
She smiled knowingly. Ever since Kes’ recent unexpected Elogium, Neelix’s attention span had wavered considerably.
“Oh that’s alright Commander,” she said, picking one of her PADDs off her desk. “I haven’t quite finished Mr. Kim’s analysis of the nebula.”
“Well as I’m still getting through Tuvok’s security report, how about we sit and finish them together before our briefing?” He paused, clearly choosing his next words carefully. “Unless of course you’re not feeling up to it. It’s not like you to not be prepared.” He said this without a trace of judgment in his voice, clearly seeking to better understand her as he always did.
Damn! Why did he have to be so perceptive. She rubbed her eyes and waved her hand absently away. She’d been feeling distracted lately and she couldn’t explain why. Well, maybe she could but not to him. Especially not to him.
Giving him her trademark glare softened by a slight smile, she stood tucking her PADD under her arm, replicated her coffee and his tea and carried them over to her sofa. They resumed their normal places with ease, sitting close together, but not too close, no never too close, their bodies angled to face one another. Her PADD did contain Harry’s nebula report, but she found she’d uncharacteristically lost interest in it. For she was thinking about him.
She had always been aware that on some level she held his attention. The way he looked at her first whenever someone made a suggestion, though she had rationalized that as just being part of his job. The longer glances at her when he thought no one was looking. The smiles they would share at one of their silly jokes. But since the incident with Kes when he had asked her if she was entertaining a relationship on board, the way he was staring at her hair, well, she couldn’t deny that she was really seeing him for the first time. But, it couldn’t happen. Protocols and all that. And then there was Mark.
Thus, she resumed her reading of 17th century Italian sword making, her latest passion. Imagining the glistening rapier thrusting forth and plunging into its intended target gave her a much needed outlet for her pent up frustrations. The nebula could damn well wait.
She must have lost track of time, but she’d had no interruption from him. It was nice, sharing that companionable silence. She’d noticed one of her feet was now tucked up under her thigh, her knee now very close to his. Funny, she didn’t remember doing that. He’d clearly shifted closer to her as well, leaning back with one arm casually draped on the sofa, his hand now centimeters away from her shoulder. They shouldn’t be doing this. It wasn’t like her to be confused. She had someone at home. Someone who made her coffee and spent the mornings reading with her. But as much as her heart was beating fast, she’d never felt this content.
She glanced up over her PADD only to see her first officer with a giant smile on his face, those mesmerizing dimples in full force, quite engrossed in his own PADD.
“I didn’t realize Mr. Tuvok’s security reports were so amusing,” she remarked dryly, and he looked up at her and nodded. Was that a wink? She forced herself to look back down at her PADD, not wanting to acknowledge the short distance between them. But she knew, as she always knew, that distance may well be a chasm. It had to be. She couldn’t let this building attraction flourish. She needed to end it.
They needed to talk about this.
“Chak...” she began, only to be cut off by Tuvok’s comm link to him directly for help with a “rather delicate situation involving Mr. Dalby and Crewman Chell.” Her first officer wisely left immediately, no doubt knowing exactly what was involved. Damn! She’d finally worked up the nerve to address the impossibility of their having anything more and had been interrupted again.
Realizing she really needed to have a little chat with Tuvok about his timing, she glanced down at the PADD the former Maquis had left in haste:
Woman Warriors at the River of Blood.
She permitted herself a small chuckle and a shake of the head. She should have known that Klingon romance was indeed on the Maquis required reading list.