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You’d think the most feared shinobi in history would never be able to be reduced to a joke. And yet...that’s exactly what Sasuke is in his household.
At least...when it comes to one subject in particular.
After Kakashi’s teaching of Chidori, Sasuke’s raiton quickly became infamous during his years as a missing nin. It was lightning jutsu that bested Deidara’s explosives and helped him overcome the bomber’s jealous assault. Kirin was one of the deciding blows in his battle against Itachi. The element has served him well over the years, and still does when the need arises...though police work rarely requires full-on ninjutsu.
But all because of one incident ...his title has been forever stained.
Sitting on a couch in the sitting room, he’d been wearing cotton garments when his wife returned home from errand running, arms full of bags.
Not one to leave her struggling, he’d moved to help relieve some of her burden, attempting to take a few of the bags of groceries.
And that’s when it happened.
“Ow -!”
The pair of them flinched as a huge shock ran through Sasuke’s static-ridden body to hers. It had been so strong, they’d both heard it aloud!
Blinking wide eyes, Hinata just...stared at him. “...what was that?”
“Uh...static, I guess?”
A moment more of silence...and then she’d burst into a round of giggles.
“...what?”
Setting down her load as Sasuke did the same, Hinata wiped at her eyes and stuttered, “Y-you didn’t have to Chidori me, ne?”
“...that wasn’t -?”
Too taken by her joke, Hinata had dissolved into a belly laugh, sagging against the counter. At first Sasuke was just...nonplussed. It wasn’t that funny, was it…?
But then it happened again later. Accepting a hand up from stretching on the floor, he shocked her once more, though not nearly as strongly.
“Sasuke!”
“What?”
“I said no Chidori!”
“I wasn’t using Chi-!”
And off she went, laughing again. One of his most powerful, iconic jutsu...reduced to a static joke.
He wouldn’t say it annoyed him, per se. It was just so...obvious. The first time, sure, he’d admit it was worth a laugh, even if his confusion meant he’d missed the opportunity. But any little blip of electricity would earn a snicker.
“Ne...if the power ever goes out in the compound, could you get it back up and running?”
Deadpanning, he blinks owlishly, Hinata head on his lap as they listen to a nearby storm. Her giggling is jokingly half-muffled under a pillow, held only for a few moments as not to actually smother her. “Your sense of humor is dreadful, Hinata.”
“And you’re stuck with it,” she grins up at him once the offending upholstery is removed. After a pause, she asks, “...could you, though?”
“Not sure I have the chakra control for that,” he replies flatly. “I’d probably just blow out all the wiring, and Itachi would kill me.”
“Hm, true...just seems a shame we can’t put all that static to use, ne?”
It’s such a running joke, it even carries on once the pair have children. As soon as he figures it out, Tenkai takes to rubbing sock-clad feet on the carpet and zapping his father with it, giving cries of “Chidori!” every time, much to his sister’s amusement.
It typically gets Hinata in stitches.
The rest of the family even gets in on it eventually. Itachi uses it rarely, knowing that it irks his brother a bit. But that doesn’t stop him from hiding a smile behind a hand whenever someone else does it. His wife, overly conscious of hurt feelings, usually gently chides anyone who goes overboard with it.
And the one who does that most, of course, is Shisui.
“Y’know, I think I have it all figured out.”
Looking up straight ahead from a report he’s reading, Sasuke deadpans. Shisui is behind him, leaning over the back of the couch. And given his tone...he seems to think he’s come up with yet another zinger. “...figured what out?” Sasuke asks with a defeated sigh.
Shisui cups a hand under the gravity-defying hair along the rear of his cousin’s head, giving it a subtle bounce. “Why this sticks up so bad.”
Looking over his shoulder, Sasuke perks a brow.
“It’s cuz you’re so full of static, it’s like you’re constantly sticking a senbon in an outlet and making your hair stand on end!”
“...that joke was so bad, I might actually Chidori you. You’re terrible.”
“Well one of us has to have a sense of humor. Your brother’s too stoic, and you’re too grumpy! Then again, I would be too with all that electricity up in my business all the time. You need some time to discharge , little cousin!”
Lips pursing in a sharp frown, Sasuke lets a few bolts dance over his hand as Shisui flickers away with a cackle.
“...I’m gonna kill him.”
And any time something goes haywire with a piece of technology in the house...it’s Sasuke’s fault. The TV is on the fritz? Well clearly Sasuke touched it, and now it’s fried. The oven breaks down and won’t bake anymore? Sasuke got too close to it and blew out the heating elements. A lightbulb goes out? Sasuke must have hit the light switch and overcharged it!
“Maybe we should just go back to the good ol’ days of doing everything by hand,” Shisui muses as Hinata changes out one of the latter. “I mean...if Sasuke’s gonna keep ruining everything electric, it’s gonna be easier in the long run to use candles and cook with fire.”
“Well at least we’ll save on heating bills with all the hot air coming out of your mouth,” Sasuke counters grumpily. “You just need to stand here all day blabbering and we’ll be just fine through Winter.”
“Your temper never fails to shock me, Sasuke.”
“I’ll show you shocking…”
“No Chidori in the house,” Hinata sighs. “...and by that, I mean real Chidori.”
“I can’t believe I went from being a force to be reckoned with...to a household joke.”
“Oh trust me, I’m well aware you could fry my ass,” Shisui offers, only to backpedal at Hinata’s warning look. “I mean, uh...my backside. But we’re your family , Sasuke. We exist to drive you up the wall! Besides, your wife thinks it’s cute. And you gotta indulge your wife, right?”
Sasuke heaves a weary sigh. “...you know what, Shisui?”
“...what?”
“Your puns…” A grin slowly grows across his face. “...are re- volt -ing.”
All at once, the entire household breaks down into a unified groan, but Sasuke just snickers. He’ll call that poetic justice for the rest.