Chapter Text
The wind whistled gently through the trees. It was a calm and serene night, filled with the sounds of birds and chatter. The air was warm, unlike most May nights in New York, and both the people and the animals took advantage of it.
In a fairly regular sized church in Queens, one with beautiful stained glass windows that tinted the inside a rainbow of colours, a ridiculous amount of superheroes came from all corners of the world -- and the universe -- to squash up together and cheer like uncivilised morons.
"To the newlyweds!" Thor cried, jumping up in the pews.
A thunderous cry of "to the newlyweds!" rippled through the church.
"Family photo!" Shuri called, "get in there!"
Anya and Morgan rushed up and pushed Peter and MJ even closer than they already were, while May dragged Bucky to stand between her and Pepper.
After that, everyone wanted a photo with the happy couple. Later that evening, once everyone had departed to one of the several hotels they'd completely booked out, Peter would complain, and MJ would think about knocking him out, because he was making her smile and she was tired of smiling too. Instead, she would just smile and remind him that they're his family. And Peter would wrap his arms around her and remind her that they're her family too.
Nicole hiccupped. "I wanna get married too. I'm turning twenty-six in September."
"Shut up," Harley muttered, "I'm thirty-two. How do you think I feel?"
"Listen, loser, if I hadn't been -- what was Peter calling it a few years ago? The blip? -- if I hadn't been blipped, I'd be thirty. You're not special. Besides, this is all your fault," Nicole finished, glaring at the girl sharing the single sofa with her.
"My fault?" Cassie echoed, "what did I do?"
"Well, you did break up with me," Harley said, shrugging.
"To Nic," Cassie clarified.
"Nothing," Nicole said, "I just like Shuri too much fo blame her."
Shuri, the only one still fully sober, sighed and rolled her eyes. "I suppose I'm driving you two back to our hotel, hm?"
"He's all grown up! My baby boy is leaving me! I'm just so proud of him. Did you see how handsome he looks in all the photos? I'm never gonna see him again!"
Bucky sighed. "I have to live with this," he said, glancing at the woman using his shirt to dry her eyes by repeatedly knocking her head into his shoulder.
Sam smirked. "Man, that was a choice you made all those years ago. You don't have to do anything. But I'm glad you stay. I love laughing at your misfortunes."
Bucky narrowed his eyes. "Do not make me turn my son's wedding day into the day of your death."
Sam only laughed. "I'm gonna head back to the bar. Want something?"
"A replacement. Fetch Rhodes."
Sam nodded and left.
"She still swinging from ecstatic to depressed?" Carol asked, sitting down on the adjacent couch.
"Like a pendulum on steroids."
Okoye sat down beside Carol. "Give us a smile, Rescue."
"I'm SAD," Pepper snapped, hiding her face behind Bucky's shoulder.
"And my shoulder is covered in eyeliner. May's not even being this dramatic!"
"That's 'cause she's drunk."
Sure enough, when Bucky looked around and found her, May was flirting with her reflection. "We should get her a boyfriend," Bucky mused.
"We are old and have two teenagers to manage. We don't have time for boyfriends."
"Says you."
"Barnes," Rhodey said as he sat down on the other side of Pepper, "your hero is here."
"Thanks," Bucky said dryly, gently pushing Pepper towards Rhodey, "I'm gonna take May to her room before she passes out here."
"No boyfriend hunting," Pepper warned, "I need both my co-parents focused on the girls. Morgan tried -- and failed -- to hide a can of beer from me last night and I honestly don't know who's most to blame for that."
"You guys know she's dating Happy, right?" Carol asked, swirling the contents of her champagne glass as she leaned back casually. She was most amused to see the looks on Bucky and Pepper's faces.
"So," Okoye said to Pepper, "you've officially reached a new level. How does it feel to be a mother-in-law?"
"No changes so far."
"That's 'cause Peter's still gonna be in your face every second day," Rhodey said.
"Not for the next two weeks, if I'm correct," Carol said, "MJ mentioned that they'll be honeymooning at a private resort in the Maldives. You can only reach them by letter, because he's turning off all his devices to avoid Sword responsibilities."
Pepper narrowed her eyes at Carol. "You are not helping my mood."
Okoye smiled. "You'll be fine. It's just two weeks. Give them a little space."
Pepper huffed and let Rhodey baby her through her tantrum.
"More drinks!" Brunnhilde shouted, raising a bottle.
"Yeah!" Thor cheered, holding his glass out for some.
"Buddy, don't you think you've had en--"
"Shhhhhh," Brunnhilde said, putting her finger to her lips and leaning towards Bruce. She was lucky she was standing on the table, or she wouldn't actually be able to reach his virescent face.
"You can never have too many drinks," Rocket said from Brunnhilde's head. "Hey, Quill, can you do this?"
Quill watched Rocket curl up.
"Fancy hat," Thor explained.
Quill glanced at Drax. "Shut up," the muscled alien said, turning away and striking up a conversation with Nebula.
"Oh, come on, dude!"
"I can be of assistance," Mantis said excitedly.
"Ya really can't," Quill said, giving her a smile.
"I am Groot."
"This guy gets it!" Rocket said, now sitting up again.
"The real question is," Bruce said, "can Quill wear Rocket?"
"I can!"
"You look like an idiot," Nebula said from her chair at the end of the bar.
"You've done this before?" Brunnhilde asked, glancing up.
"Multiple times," Thor said, "I wear the sweet rabbit best."
"I am Groot."
Rocket laughed. "Groot's right, he wears the Rocket-hat best, including Professor Hulk over here, who looked like a dying leaf."
"I am Groot," Bruce mocked, making funny faces.
"I am Groot!" Groot cried, leaning away from Bruce and covering his mouth with both hands.
"Say sorry," Thor said, "you've offended him."
"Honestly, Bruce," Nebula said, "watch your tongue. Even I know that was uncalled for."
Brunnhilde watched in amusement as they mocked Bruce for not understanding the sentient tree. Eventually, Thor caved and told Bruce that Groot was simply mocking him back.
"I hate space people," Bruce sighed, "except you, Mantis, you're cool."
"Thank you!" she said, beaming, "would you like a drink?"
"How many have you had?" Bruce asked, concerned.
"Too many," Nebula answerd for Mantis, standing up and taking Mantis' hand. "I'll take her to her room."
"You're in a good mood today, Nebula! That's amazing!"
"Surprisingly. I hate weddings."
Mantis nodded. "Oh, yes. You were radiating negative emotions during the ceremony."
"Okay, insect, time to shut up and walk."
Nebula steered Mantis away, a firm grip on her shoulders so she didn't lose Mantis among the crowd, leaving the others to stray back to talking about the wedding.
"So, when are you two getting married?" MJ asked, gesturing to the bouquet Betty had caught.
"Oh, we broke up," Ned said with an apologetic grin.
"Again?" Peter asked, raising his eyebrows. "When did this happen?"
"Last week," Betty replied.
MJ watched Betty twirl the bouquet in her hands. "Okay, when are you getting back together?"
"I give it four more weeks," Flash said.
"No way," Liz said, "I say four more days."
"Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets," Peter said, holding out what looked like an empty fishbowl.
"Where did you get that?" MJ asked.
"I've been holding it for at least half an hour. I don't know."
Ner shrugged when MJ glanced his way. "Look, you chose to be with him for the rest of your life. I can't help you."
"Shut up," Peter grumbled, shoving the fishbowl at Ned. "I'm calling it at two weeks."
"Three and a half days," MJ said.
"What are we betting?" Liz asked.
"Five dollars," Flash said, "I can't afford anything more on the duration of their relationship and their breaks."
"Five dollars it is," Peter said.
"I hate you guys," Betty said.
(Four days later, Liz was fifteen dollars richer.)
"You're seriously turning your phone off?" May asked.
"Seriously. I refuse to take any work calls for the next two weeks. Relax, MJ's keeping hers on. Call us there. Or we'll call you."
Pepper pouted. "Come back safe okay?"
"It's a private holiday resort, Pep," Bucky said, "exactly how much trouble can you get into?"
"A lot if you know which buttons to push," Morgan said.
Peter ruffled her hair and leaned down for her to kiss his cheek before pulling Anya into a hug. "I'll be fine," he said again as MJ returned from greeting their friends. He slipped an arm around her. "I have my bodyguard with me," he joked.
MJ rolled her eyes. "All done?"
"Mhm."
They stood and waved until Peter and MJ could no longer see them, then they all turned to leave the airport.
Harley hung an arm over each sister's shoulders. "I have the key to their apartment. Who wants to help me set up a horrible welcome back present?"
"Me!" they both cried.
"Neither of you are trashing their apartment," Bucky said, pinching Harley's cheek, "some adult you are."
"I saw you throw a waffle into a blender last week," Harley said flatly.
"Shut up, kid."
"I'm thirty-two."
"Oh, baby, don't go there," May said, but she was just a second too late.
"I'm a hundred AND EIGHTEEN!" Bucky cried.
Anya and Morgan not-so-gently pushed him to the car while May shot apologetic smiles at strangers and Pepper tried to shush Bucky.
Harley tried to argue.
"Ann, when you graduate and get a job, can we move out?"
Despite the fact that both knew they'd stay as close to their parents and brothers as possible for as long as they could, Anya agreed.
"What do you mean not available at present?! Redial! Where's the redial button?!"
The middle-aged analyst hesitated when he saw the young woman angrily yell at the device in her hand.
"Director--"
"WHAT?" She rounded on him harshly, startling him.
"Er . . . the security footage you requested is corrupt and could take days --"
"Forget that. I don't want it anymore. I'm going away on business. If I find a single thing out of place when I get back, you'll be answerable."
"Yes, Director," he said, doing his bets to to let her see that she had intimidated him -- although she knew she had when she first saw him in her office.
"Good. Now go and get someone to prepare my ship. I want to leave within the hour."
"Director," a young agent said as her hologram popped up over the desk, "call for you on line three. Secure connection will activate when you pick up."
"Thank you."
The hologram vanished.
"Where the hell is Parker?"
"Honeymoon," Maria replied, "and hello to you too, Director Brand."
"I need to speak to Peter."
"It can wait. He'll be back in a week and a half."
"No, it can't," Abigail said, "I'm on my way down. If you can't bring Peter to Sword, get me to him. I'll see you in four hours."
"Four hours?"
"By your clock, obviously."
"Obviously," Maria muttered, rolling her eyes.
"Director Hill, this is a serious issue. I need Agent Parker alone. I can't trust anyone else."
"Abby, I'm not letting you crash his honeymoon. Give the guy a break. I know several agents that are more than capable. What about someone off the A-Force?"
"Peter Parker. No compromise."