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Peter had stopped fighting. In all honesty, he had forgotten why he was fighting in the first place a long time ago. That was when the torture stopped. The conditioning. He felt numb when they tested his fighting abilities. He easily incapacitated anyone who attacked him and the people who were training him were pleased. Saying something like he was ready for what they needed him to do after just a week. Whatever. As long as they fed him after he did whatever they asked.
He was dressed in an all black outfit and he was equipped with knives and a gun (things that felt somehow wrong in the back of his mind but he quickly squashed that thought), and he was sent on his way. His mission?
Kill Tony Stark.
Another persistent thought wiggled in the back of his mind that this was wrongbut he ignored it and made his way to the Avengers tower once he entered the city. He stuck to the shadows so he didn't attract any unnecessary attention and when he arrived at the building, he stood in direct view of the nearest camera as he was told to do. Apparently Stark himself would come if he saw him.
He did. Tony and some other man had run out of the building but a red-haired female had stopped them halfway. He was supposed to kill Tony, and if anyone got in his way, they would just be collateral damage.
"Peter...?"
Peter? Was that his name? He wasn't sure and didn't really care. He didn't know these people. He just wanted to complete his mission so he could go home, eat, and get some sleep. So he lunged. Tony had spun out of the way as his suit formed over his body, and Peter's kick was intercepted by the woman. His attention was directed to her for a while, and while she was good, he could tell she was holding back. That was her mistake, and he had no problem using it against her. She gave him the slightest opening and that was all he needed to knock her out and send her flying across the road.
Tony had tried to swoop in behind him and take him by surprise but Peter had sensed that coming and simply grabbed the man out of the air before slamming him into the concrete underneath him. A pained gasp reaches the teen's ears and he pulls out one of his knives to plunge through the armor but he looks to the side when his armed hand is stopped. A whip from the looks of it. Crackling with magical energy.
He looks up to the new assailant and finds the second man in a suit similar to Tony's regarding him warily.
"Peter. Stop this."
The teen responds by grabbing the whip with his free hand and yanking it forward, causing the man to stumble, and it dispels once he gets close enough. Peter lashes out at him with his knife but he blocks it with a magical shield and the teen soon finds himself being lead away from his primary target. Fine. He would deal with him later. This man fought like the woman though, but not only did he hold back, he defended himself. Like he was trying to tire the teen out.
"I don't want to hurt you!"
"That's your problem."
Despair fills blue eyes as he continues to dodge and block every one of Peter's attacks, but when he finally slips up, the teen slams him into a nearby building. The brickwork crumbling around the sorcerer from the force, and to add insult to injury, Peter plunges his knife through the suit and into the man's abdomen. A cry of pain follows as he pulls the knife back out and Peter turns to find his initial target as the man falls, when the sorcerer's next word had the boy freezing.
"Cub."
It was as if someone threw ice water on him and it found its way into his veins. That one word. He knew that word. It always came with comfort...but why did it make him so sad? Peter shakes his head and mentally starts squashing down the unexpected feelings.
Finish the mission. Finish the--
Somehow, the sorcerer had gotten to his feet and managed to catch him by surprise because he was suddenly pulled into a hug. His face was forcibly buried into the man's collarbone, but before he could even think of struggling...he smelt it. Tea leaves and incense. The smell of safety, of love, of home. It brought memories to the surface, and he slowly began to realize what had happened. His abduction, the torture, the conditioning, and worst of all...
...what he had just done.
Peter stills in the embrace and watches in horror as Stephen finally loses his fight against blood loss and slumps against him. Bile rises in his throat as blue eyes close and the owner falls to the ground, but he didn't get the chance to do much else because someone knocked him out from behind.
_______________________
When Peter woke, he was in his bed. Just when he thought that maybe it was all a terrible dream, he looked down at himself and found that he was still dressed in his Hydra outfit. It was enough to send him running into the bathroom and puking. Not only had he attacked his family, he had slammed his father hard enough into the ground to form a dent, and he stabbed his pseudo-mother. The reminder had him sobbing as he stripped himself of the black clothing as fast as possible, and then unconsciously scratching at his body. That was how Bucky found him, and the soldier was quick to kneel down and grab his wrists to keep him from hurting himself anymore.
"Nonono. I hurt them!" The teen sobs out. "I killed my mom! I deserve--"
"Come here Bambi." Bucky sits down and pulls the teen into a tight embrace. "Stephen is okay. He just finished healing himself about twenty minutes ago." The next sob that came from Peter was pure relief. "He's worried about you."
The teen makes a strangled noise that Bucky knew all too well. Peter didn't feel worthy of being worried about. Especially by someone he had hurt...almost killed.
"I shouldn't be here. What if I go back to...that?" Peter whispers.
"We already took care of that. After Nat knocked you out, another Hydra agent tried to finish what you started but she was able to stop him and find out what your triggers were. You've got nothing to worry about."
They sit there as Peter's tears slow and then eventually stop while Bucky gently rubs his back. When the teen seemed calm enough, the soldier had asked if he wanted to see his parents and Peter instantly refused. Not because he didn't want to see him, no...it was self punishment. Tony and Stephen would forgive him without hesitation but Peter would not forgive himself.
Because of that, the vigilante had locked himself in his room, and even though it pained his parents, they gave him space. Only because Rhodey and Bucky were allowed in to give him food. Natasha was shunned as well because she was also one he had hurt, and although she didn't show it, it hurt her a little as well.
Stephen lost patience on the fourth day. His cub was stewing in guilt about something he had no control over and it was breaking his heart. So he threw caution to the wind and portaled directly into the teen's room, causing Peter to jump out of his desk chair and back himself into a corner, and that action only hurt Stephen more. More than the stab wound he had received (that he now had a permanent reminder of but he wouldn't let Peter see that for as long as possible), because Peter didn't trust himself. And according to Bucky, he didn't feel like he deserved forgiveness.
"Come here." Stephen says calmly.
"...no."
"Then I'll come to you."
The sorcerer had expected Peter to use the walls to escape, so he had been prepared and successfully pulled him down before he could actually get anywhere. The whimper he gets for that cracks his already bleeding heart, but he ignores it to embrace the teen and hold him the same way he had when he managed to get to the Peter hidden behind the conditioning. One simple word was all it took to break the haze he had seen in his son's eyes. The moment he was able to stretch when he hugged him and Peter caught a whiff of the tea he drank and the incense he burned. Two scents that were forever soaked into his skin and recognized as home.
"If you really meant to hurt me, I would have never gotten you back like this. Hydra attacked us. Not Peter." It was all the teen needed to hear to finally return the embrace and fist his hands in the back of Stephen's shirt.
Peter trembled. "I-I'm sorry Mom. I'm so sorry!"
"I know cub...it's okay."
What Stephen didn't expect was Peter clinging to him afterwards. The rest of the day consisted of endless snuggling since Peter wouldn't let him do much of anything else, and having to endure hearing countless whispered apologies. Each one he never failed to accept and soothe that everything was fine now. The scar unfortunately was found an hour into the snuggling, and Peter had blamed himself all over again. It only stopped when the boy fell asleep and he was carried into the master bedroom by Tony when he and Stephen both agreed that it was necessary. A simple show that he was forgiven, and that he was home safe. It had helped the following morning, but it took at least a month for the guilty look in Peter's eyes to fade away and a few more for the nightmares to make themselves scarce.
Normalcy was a luxury.
A price Tony would pay tenfold to see their kid smile again.