Chapter Text
“Did you miss me?”
Vriska had been gone for two years, three months, and ten days. When she showed up on Terezi’s doorstep she didn’t know what else to say.
She nodded curtly, distantly, “come in.”
The house was dark. She was still blind, but it took Vriska by surprise. When she knocked into a table Terezi motioned to a switch across the room.
She navigated the space perfectly, leaving Vriska to stumble her way through the room.
With the lights on she finally got a good look at her.
She was… she looked tired, but she was pretty sure that was just a permanent fixture of her face. It was more pronounced now, more obvious with time apart. She seemed sharper, like she had been hardening herself, or maybe it was only because she just appeared on her doorstep like a minute ago.
She was still so fucking beautiful-
“So…”
“So…” Terezi took a deep breath, “did it not work out with Meenah?”
“No.”
She sighed again, pressing a hand to her temple, “why are you here?”
There were lots of reasons why. None of them were good enough, not enough to justify a place in the home she left.
“I don’t know.”
“Ok.”
Had she changed? Had her feelings changed? Did it mean anything she said? Terezi suspected the answer to all of these questions were a resounding ‘no’ but she was too lonely to care. She had friends, she had friends she could be with but they all pitied her, and not in the way she wanted. She wasn’t a mess, really. She could take care of herself just fine but that’s it. She was really just surviving, baseline, and there wasn’t anything else. She didn’t want it to be true, and she couldn’t let her know.
“So are you just, swinging by?”
“I don’t know?”
“Ok,” Terezi sat on her couch, and Vriska did the same, their old spots- “are you homeless or something?”
She laughed a bit, surprised, “Yeah, I guess so.”
Asking anything else, it would just hurt too much. She wanted to know everything, had too, but she couldn’t. She just couldn’t. She couldn’t let her know that while she went gallivanting around she was so fucking depressed and wrecked and…
Whose turn was it? To speak, to apologize, to beg to cry to-
“I, um, missed you.”
The Vriska who said that… she wasn’t the one who left. Maybe she had changed. Maybe it could work.
She’s up.
“I didn’t.”
Fuck.
“No?” She sounded wounded, like they weren’t sparring like before, fuck it isn’t her fault if she tried to pick it up like normal-
“I’ve been uh, sewing. Really takes my mind off things. Haven’t had any time to-“
“With Kanaya?”
There wasn’t accusation in her voice, just somber recognition; she blew it. She blew it forever and how could Terezi forgive her it was stupid to think-
“No… not like that.”
Vriska’s heart un-broke, and it was just as painful.
“Have you seen her?”
“No, you’re the first.”
“Oh.”
Two years is a long time.
When Vriska woke up on the couch the next morning she was sore. She wanted to run, to get out of the house and go for a long walk, but Terezi was still asleep and she couldn’t bear to have her think she left again. So she stayed.
She adopted the habit of waking early. Usually Meenah did too, and then something would happen to engage her right away; a kiss, an adventure, or more and more as time went on, an argument.
She cleaned the kitchen. Hopefully it would show she cares, that she’s serious, that she’s changed. So much went unsaid and she’s worried that she won’t understand. She cleaned the entire house. A chair was wobbling. She fixed the chair. It was only noon and Terezi would be asleep for another hour or two.
She just couldn’t stand it anymore. She had to get out.
When Terezi got up Vriska was gone.
It wasn’t really a surprise. Vriska hated conflict, so she left. It was so predictable and she had hardened herself to it. It hurt so fucking bad.
Why did it have to be this way? Why her? Why did she have this pull on her, and why couldn’t she just cut the strings and let her go?
The kitchen was clean when she went to make breakfast. Odd. She’d never done anything like that before.
The eggs had shell shards in them, and more salt and pepper than whites but she’s the one who made them, her, and that was one thing Vriska couldn’t take away.
She sat down on the wobbly chair and it didn’t wobble. When she reached down the uneven leg she felt a seam where a piece of carpet was glued to the foot.
It made her laugh; at least this time she had something to remember her by.
Vriska came in with flowers, fragrant, not pretty ones. She took one step through the door only to see Terezi crying into her eggs. She took a breath as if to say something and then she
“HEY”
threw the plate across the room, sending it shattering a foot away from her head.
“YOU DON’T GET TO SEE ME LIKE THIS!”
“I didn’t mean-“
“GET OUT!”
She regretted it as soon as she said it but by god she was so fucking pissed. She didn’t mean it but she meant a thousand other things she couldn’t say out loud, and it was close enough.
Vriska stepped out and quickly closed the door. Terezi walked over to where she dropped the flowers.
Why her? Why her, why her…
Why was it always her-
She could hear something outside, barely. When she pressed her ear against the door it got clearer; soft sobs. This definitely wasn’t the Vriska who left her, fuck. She was the same person she left behind though. They had both been too mean for their own good, but now it was just her.
She wanted to be better. She wanted to forgive her. She wanted so much.
When the door opened they faced each other, both in silent tears. It was too much, to be together, to be apart. The tension would claim them sooner or later, so why not now?
They hugged, almost squeezing the life out of each other and when the vice grips loosened they stood in each other’s arms, breathing and feeling the other in a way that was too genuine to ignore.
Vriska was so tired of fighting. She was just too tired to play the game that Terezi did, their courtship ritual. The meanness, the quips, the competition, it would all come in time but now she was there, really there in her arms and she just needed her needed her needed her…
Terezi decided that if Vriska could change, she could too.
“Stay.”
“I will.”