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If You Ever Want To Be In Love

Summary:

I'll come around if you ever want to be in love.
I'm not waiting. But I'm willing if you call me up.

Notes:

I love writing oneshots. This entire idea came from the song 'If you ever want to be in love' by James Bay. Listen to it, or don't. Either way I appreciate you giving this fic a chance.
I didn't proofread it. So I'm sorry for spelling and grammar errors.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"I thought you said the small place on 76th street." Alexander groaned into his phone. "How do you expect me to make it half way across Manhattan and still have time to eat lunch and get back to the office before the hour is over?"

He listened to the half ass apology on the other line. Rolling his eyes more than once at the almost nonchalant manner in which the other person was speaking. Alexander knew he was right. There was no way he would agree have lunch on the other side of town. There was no way he could be away from the office for that long. Not this week. Not when they were all working their asses off to close this deal with MegaPrint.

No, as always, John was too focused on himself during the conversation the previous day to actually pay attention to their conversation. Now Alexander would have to get a to go plate from this place just to eat it in his office. Because there was no way in hell he was going to sit in this restaurant alone. Meaning he could have saved the time and effort and money and just ordered takeout from his office. Fucking John Laurens and his innate inability to-

"Alexander?"

He spun around with enough force to drop his phone and make himself dizzy all in one go. The woman responsible for his disorientation rushed to save his falling cell. Of course gravity was twice the speed of her feet and his brand new iPhone whatever the fuck number they were on now went crashing to the hardwood floor in front of him. Screen first. The woman winced. Her pretty face contorting into a mask of concern and pity. Alexander wasn't worried. One reason being that he'd dropped that phone plenty of times before today and it walked away from the incidents without a scratch. Another reason being the fact that he didn't pay for that phone. And he wouldn't have to pay for the replacement if needed. Everyone in the office was gifted the new apple phone whenever it would be released. Washington's company had an image to uphold. They had to talk, smell and look like money. Alex wouldn't be able to do that with the iPhone 6 he'd been walking around with before landing his dream job.

He picked up his phone since the woman in front of him seemed to be frozen in place. Only hesitating for a second before flipping the screen up. Unscratched. Good.

He could hear John's voice still droning on the other end. Completely unfazed by what could have put a definite end to their conversation. For a second he considered just putting the phone back to his ear and pretending nothing happened. But honestly he was a little annoyed with the man right now. And he was one hundred percent sure the conversation waiting right in front of him would be much more interesting. So he did something that would otherwise be unthinkable. He pressed the red button on the bottom of the screen while John was mid-word. And then he powered off the phone. Blocking off the stream of angry incoming calls that would surely follow. There would be hell to pay later but for now...

"Angelica?" Alex slipped the phone into the pocket of his suit jacket. "Oh my god is that really you?"

Of course it was her. There was no one else in the world like her.

"It's me." She shrugged sheepishly. The sleeves of her off the shoulder shirt slid a little lower with the movement. Exposing more of her upper arms.

"I-wow. What are you doing here?" He lifted his arm to touch her shoulder at the same time Angelica open her arms to hug him. They both stepped back to let the other person decide what to do. When realizing they shared this idea, they both moved in again. Which resulted in an awkward sort of hug/ back patting thing.

"Eating."

"No I mean what are you doing in the U.S? What are you doing back in New York?"

Last he'd heard, Angelica Schuyler was taking over London, England. She'd thrown up her graduation cap and was on a plane across the sea before the tassel hit the ground. Leaving behind everything without a glance back. Family, friends, work, college and Alexander himself. He'd be lying if he pretended it didn't burn him to hear from someone else that her trip to the land of tea and crumpets wasn't a trip at all. Angelica had no plans of moving back to the states. Of even stepping on American soil again.

And yet here she was.

With nine years between now and the last time he saw her, the only thing that seemed to differ was her fashion sense. Her face held it's youthfulness like a photograph. There were no wrinkles or laugh lines. Not that he expected her to look like an old woman at the age of twenty-six. He just expected something to be different about her. He wanted something to be different about her. Couldn't handle the idea that she was the same exact girl he'd loved throughout high school. The same girl who said she loved him back. And yet managed to go almost a decade without thinking of him. It couldn't be her.

"I moved back four months ago." There was something different about her. Though it wasn't something he could see, it was certainly something he could hear. He wouldn't exactly call it an English accent. Though it wasn't the same way she spoke the last time he saw her. Being surrounded by that accent for years rubbed off on her.

"Wow that's amazing!" Four months. They'd been running the same streets for four months and she didn't think to contact him. "You look great."

"Thank you." She mock bowed. "So do you. I'm digging the goatee." She stroked her own chin. "Very Tony Stark of you."

Alexander laughed. Surprised and pleased. "That's the first time I've heard that one."

She leaned in. "I assure you it won't be the last." She grinned when that earned her another. "My god it's been ages."

"Nine years." He nodded. "Nine years, three months, two weeks and four days."

Her already round eyes got impossibly wider. "Are you serious?"

Alexander was able to maintain his straight face for only a few moments. "No." He sputtered out a laugh and Angelica visibly relaxed. "I don't remember the fucking exact day you left."

"You cunt!" She pushed his shoulder. "That honestly worried me."

"Hey I missed you but I didn't miss you that much."

That sobered her up. "I missed you as well. I miss you. How are you? How have things been?" She looked around. "Do you have a minute to sit down and talk? Maybe catch up over lunch? My treat."

Alex snuck a glance at the grand clock on the wall. It was only 1:15. He never took longer than a forty-five minute lunch break. Especially when he was away from the office. Thought technically he was granted an hour. It'd taken him almost fifteen minutes to get here. Which meant it would take fifteen minutes to get back. Maybe half that time if traffic was good and he jumped in a cab. Which meant he would need to leave the restaurant at around 1:50 to make it to the office before 2:00. Which gave him thirty-five minutes to sit and eat with his old high school buddy. If neither one of them ordered anything too complicated it shouldn't take more than fifteen minutes for it to be prepared. They should be able to finish a simple meal in twenty minutes. He was a fast eater.

"Of course." He motioned for her to walk towards the tables. "But only because you're paying."

She rolled her eyes fondly, leading the way. "Same old Alexander."

Not quite.

 

Twenty minutes later Alexander found himself crying with laughter. Almost choking on the simple burger and fries he decided to order. Angelica was laughing just as hard but a lot more gracefully. A few of the guest seated around them were glaring in their direction. To be fair, they were being a little loud for the establishment they were in. Yet Alexander couldn't bring himself to care. He didn't feel like the Alexander Hamilton he was now. The business man, people pleaser who would apologize to the tables around them for disturbing their meal. And maybe even buy them a glass of wine to ensure he left a good impression. No, in that moment he felt like high school Alexander. The guy who would yell fuck you to the stuck up suits turning their nose up at him and his friend. And maybe even flip them the bird for good measure.

"And do you remember John Church?" Angelica asked him.

Alex grimaced dramatically. "The skinny football player with the fucked haircut?"

"Mmhmm." She nodded excitedly.

"Yuck." He took another sip of his beer. Getting used to the flavor with each sip. Usually he would have ordered something non-alcoholic with his meal. Or maybe even a simple white wine. Then again, usually he wouldn't be eating a well done bacon cheese burger with chili fries. "I can't believe you even dated that guy."

"We dated again." She tried to hide her face behind her own glass.

"Angel, no!"

"Yes." She sighed. "Four years ago. He came to London semi-permanently on business. Some how our paths crossed and he asked me out."

"I can't believe you said yes."

"I was desperate. I'd just got broken up with by this Adonis of a Frenchman and I was rebounding hard. Then here comes this familiar face with kind words and I just fell into it."

"I can not believe you were that desperate." He popped a fry into his mouth. "You had to be the prettiest girl in all of London."

She fixed him with a long look. "I wasn't even close!"

"Blasphemy!" He gasped.

"It's true. Those women are models."

"So that's why you came back to New York. Because you knew you would be the prettiest one on this little island."

"Yeah right." She snorted. She sighed again. This time less playfully. "Honestly, Alexander, I came back because I needed to. London never really felt like my home but it did feel homey. Until it didn't."

"I think I get that." He smiled. "So you're here for good?"

"I'm here for good."

"That's good. What are your plans?"

"I've been working with my father. He took pity on me despite me ditching the family as soon as I was legally able to."

"Okay, so you've got work all settled. What about your personal life?"

"I don't have one. Not really. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Call up friends I ditched for almost a decade and say hey guys I'm back and I want to continue where we left off? I don't think so."

"You could have called me." Alexander shrugged. "I would have come around."

Angelica's smile was borderline sad. "To be quite honest, I thought you would hate me most of all."

"Why would I hate you?"

"Because you were my best friend. The closest person in the world to me. Even closer than my own sisters. And I abandoned you without a second thought. I was just so sure I was meant to do better things. My parents had my life all planned out from the time I was born. It was so restricting. My entire life was restricting. So I left. I thought I have to be bigger than working for my father's company for the rest of my life. I have to be bigger than New York or even America. And I left." She reached across the table to cover his hand with hers. Alexander flipped his over to interlock their fingers. "I knew I was a bastard friend for doing that to you and I kept thinking that I was giving you time to cool off before talking to you. And then time to cool off became too much time passed to expect you to want to hear from me. I'm sorry, Alexander."

"I-damn." Alexander swallowed. That was a lot to take in. It answered questions he'd been harboring for a while. Confirmed a few suspicions. Yet still left so much unsaid. "I'm not mad at you, Angie. I could never be mad at you. You did what was best for you. I can't be mad at that." He squeezed her hand. "I mean, yeah I wish you would have called a few times so that I would know you were alive. But that's in the past. And you're here now. And you're staying."

"And I'm staying." She slowly pulled her hand away. Blinking away what suspiciously looked like it could have been tears. "It's funny," Angelica swirled her fry in an obscene amount of ketchup. "I thought about you constantly. I would see something and think Alex would hate that or I wonder what Alexander thinks about this.But no matter how frequently you were on my mind, I couldn't bring myself to pick up a phone and call you. It was like I would rather just think you hated me than try to call and know for a fact that you did." She laughed in a self depreciating way. "You know when I saw you, a part of me wanted to duck and run out before you noticed me. Bit i figured I was going to bump into you eventually, better to get it over with now." She bit the fry. "I was treating you like some sort of ex boyfriend or something and we've never even kissed."

Why didn't we?

The question sat heavy on the tip of Alexander's tongue. But the seal of his lips wouldn't break to allow it out. This was the bad side of feeling like his high school self again. Right now he wasn't the Alexander Hamilton who wore designer suits to work and fraternized with the money men of the city. His corner office didn't matter. His impressive salary didn't matter. Hell, the way he'd mastered the art of flirtation throughout the years didn't matter. Right now he was just Angelica's nerdy best friend Alex. The one who followed her around like a lost puppy through all four years of school. The one who would blush every time she complimented him or playfully flirted with him. The kid who spent every Saturday night rehearsing how to ask the most popular girl, who also happened to be his best friend, in school out.

"Well I'm glad you didn't run away." His lips said instead. Playing it safe. Like a coward. The same reason he never got a chance with her before.

The rest of the meal was just as pleasant as the beginning. They shared memories of high school mishaps and mutual friends. Angelica told him what her life was life in London. Though not in enough detail for him to know anything but the basics. Her job, her house, her favorite food places, her neighbor with the always barking, eight thousand dollar dog. And so Alexander shared in kind. Excluding the same aspects she did.

But unlike the beginning of the conversation, now Alexander was only half focused on the discussion at hand. Because the other part of his mind was stuck on the what ifs. Like what if he would have asked her out in high school and she would have said yes? Maybe she would have been so happy with him that she wouldn't have disappeared without warning. Or at least she would have offered to let him disappear with her. Or what if they wouldn't have bumped into each other in this restaurant? She said they would have eventually bumped into each other but that wasn't guaranteed. Would he ever have seen her again? Or what if she vanished without a trace again after lunch? Could he handle losing her a second time? What if he told her the truth? Would knowing he was in love with her change their situation for the better or the worse? Was it worth the risk? What if he kissed her right now?

The waiter placed the check on the table. Alexander immediately lifted it up. Glaring at Angelica to cut off whatever protest she was about to make since she'd offered to pay for lunch. He slipped his credit card into it, handing it back to the waiting man.

Angelica wiped her mouth with the napkin. There was nothing there so he assumed it was more a force of habit. "That was fun."

"It was." He readily agreed.

"We should do it again some time."

There it was. Clear as day. His opening to ask her on a date. Practically set up for him.

"Yeah, that sound like fun." He said instead of would you like to go out with me sometime?

Angelica's eyebrows furrowed. Probably as disappointed in his failure to as her out as he was.

The waiter returned his credit card and the pair exited the establishment together. When they got on the outside, Angelica didn't immediately jump in a cab or head towards a subway station. She stood there in a way that was almost awkward. Like she wanted to say something but didn't know how to start. Or she could have been waiting for Alexander to say something. Or maybe, much like Alex himself, she didn't want the reunion to end yet.

"Are you driving?" Alexander asked. "Or are you walking? Because I could walk you to where ever you're going-"

"I'm driving." She pointed to a black Benz that was parked twenty feet away.

"Me too. Well, I'm taking a cab but-"

"Well, I should get going. My lunch is almost over."

"Me too."

"Do you want my number maybe? O-Or I can take yours? I still owe you lunch since you didn't let me pay this time."

"Right." He recited his phone number for his old friend. Watching with unexplained anticipation as she saved it to her contacts.

"I'm shooting you a text right now so you'll have my number too." When she was done with that she closed the distance between them with a hug. Alex hugged her back. Hoping too much of his desperation wasn't obvious by how tight he was squeezing her. "I really did miss you, Alexander. You're still my best friend."

He winced. "Angelica."

"Yeah." She pulled back to look at him.

"I'm happy you still consider me your best friend. But if you ever want to be more than that, I'm here. I'm not going to sit around waiting for you to want that. That's not fair to either of us. But if you do ever want to fall in love, I'll be willing. Just call me up and I'll come around."

"It's that simple?" She grinned and Alex stopped holding his breath.

"It's that simple." He confirmed.

"Just a phone call?" She waved her cell at him. "And you're all mine?"

"That's what I said, Schuyler."

"Cool." She nodded, walking over to her car. "I'll see you soon Alexander." She slipped in and closed the door behind her. Sliding out of the tight spot easier than Alexander had ever witnessed in NYC.

He watched the car blend with the moving traffic. Not moving until he could no longer see it. Anxious to save her number, he pulled his phone from his jacket pocket. He powered it on. Cursing to himself when the time staring back at him read 2:19. Washington was going to kill him. Alex jumped in the first empty cab he saw. Called out his office's address with a sense of urgency he hoped the cabbie understood meant get me there as quickly as you can. The notifications looked like he expected them to.

Three missed calls from John.

Five texts from John

One missed call from Washington

One text from Lafayette.

A few emails.

And two text message from an unsaved number.

He opened the most recent notification first.

-This is Angie :)

-Is there a three day wait time on that offer? Or can we start the process immediately? 

Alexander laughed loud and surprised. Earning a concerned look from the driver through the review mirror. As badly as he wanted to only focus on Angelica's text, he had other responsibilities to deal with first. He texted his boss back explaining that he'd been stuck in a traffic jam and promising to never come in late again. He texted his coworker with the same untrue explanation. And then he called John. The line rung twice before the click of an answer was heard.

"What the hell?" John's voice was coated in anger.

"My phone died." The lie slipped from Alexander without hesitation. "I had to wait until I got back to the office to charge it."

"You just got back to the office? It's after 2:00. You're never late."

"Traffic was a bitch." He hoped the man couldn't hear the sounds of cars passing in the background.

"Don't let that happen again. I thought you purposely hung up on me."

"I'm sorry." He sighed. "John, we need to talk."

"We're talking now."

"No, I mean when I get home."

His boyfriend went silent. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just I- We-I'll try to explain when I get home."

"Okay." The anger in his voice was replaced with worry. "See you later. I love you."

Alexander's phone vibrated in his hand. He pulled it away from his face to look at the new text that had come in. 

-Let's get started tonight. I've wasted enough time.

He placed the phone back to his ear. "I- I love you too, John."

Notes:

I hope you liked it. Comments and Kudos are cool.