Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

All you knew of her before was a lecture that the college president gave you after you got caught vandalizing the wall of the gym with John Egbert, although as far as Dr. Scratch was concerned, it was all your doing. After all, what good is being a trustee’s kid if you couldn’t get away with a misdemeanor or two. Especially if the name “Serket” is on the name of a building, or two, or three.

“Miss Serket, I grow weary of seeing you in this office time after time. I know you could really make something of yourself if you just applied yourself, but God knows what’s going on in that brain of yours. You and I both know that my hands are ... tied ... when dealing with you, but I will come up with a suitable punishment eventually! In the meantime, I will be contacting your mother about this latest mishap.” You involuntarily wince at this statement, which, unfortunately, doesn’t escape Dr. Scratch’s notice. He knows your mom. You hate that he knows your mom. “...I’ll let you off this time with a warning as long as you can get the spray paint off by morning. If this happens again though, you will be the one calling to inform her.”

You gather your backpack and reach for your paint canisters... before Dr. Scratch gives you a look and you grudgingly leave them be. There will be time for vengeance another day. You get ready to step out of the door when Dr. Scratch adds one last comment, “And don’t think I didn’t notice Mr. Egbert sneak off behind me. I know you have a penchant for ruining the other students and I’ve been told that you’ve been seen loitering around the physics department with one of the Lalonde girls, another one of your conquests I assume, but we have someone very important in that department and I will give you one warning. Do not engage with her. She’s a certified genius working on some very important research and I don’t want you and your influence messing that up. I was lenient on you today, but if I hear that anything has happened, be sure that I won’t hesitate to follow up on what I avoided doing today.”

It annoys you, but you grunt a yes and make a quick exit to end the conversation as fast as possible. There are tears ready to form at the corners of your eyes, but you don’t fucking let them fall. You let the anger ripple through your instead. How dare he. He knows NOTHING. NOTHING!!!!!!!! Roxy AND John both took the initiative to hang out with you and it was their idea to begin with!!!!!!!!  What does he think you are? The devil scoping up children to employ to do his dastardly deeds? That’s your mom! Just kidding. You love your mom and end those thoughts right there. Aradia... well aradia was your fault, but the rest of them.... well they weren’t!!!!!!!! You cut across campus to the gym and head toward the custodial closet where the cleaning supplies are kept, still fuming, but you let your anger subside a bit when you see that the Mayor’s on duty tonight. You don’t know their real name, you don’t think anyone does, but they like to go by Mayor, so that’s what you call them. You’ve gotten to known them all these times you’ve had to clean up one mess or the other.

“Long night?” You run your hand up your arm slowly, trying to remember the basic signs you taught yourself on grubtube.

“A little later than usual, some vandal left a mark on your mom’s gym that needs to be cleaned up before morning.” They sign slowly, while shrugging although they maintain eye contact with you the entire time. You wince.

You want to apologize. To tell them that it was your fault, but instead you decide to look away, take the cleaning materials and pretend you didn’t notice the disappointed look that you left behind.

It’s 3 am by the time you are done cleaning the sticky paint from the walls. The mural hath been restored to its original lackluster state depicting several circles looking much more diverse than the campus actually was and much happier than you’ve ever seen the students at this school holding hands while singing and laughing. You thought your addition of a giant spider eating the heads made it a much more realistic depiction, but you always knew that you would never be appreciated in your own time.

You’re bored. Tired. Irritated. Angry. You know it’s your own fault, but damn if it’s still not fair. You hate the school. You hate Dr. Scratch. You hate the gym. You hate your m- Not going there. You hate Miss Perfect. The darling of the physics department. Got a research lab. Got a Keep Out sign by the president himself against the stupid hooligans. Meanwhile, you’ve been stuck taking econ classes filled with pricks like Eridan, who think they know everything, for the last two years of your life with two more on the horizon. You bet a girl like that has never been made to feel incompetent about herself in her life. Sure, you think, she might think that she’s good at what she does, but god she must be the lamest girl on the planet if all she’s ever done with her life is physics. Bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh, but if you’re good at something, people will love you forever I guess???? If you’re not, then it’s like you never existed to begin with.

(Once your mom told you while stroking your cheek as you cried, "You are exceptionally difficult to love my darling." And it stung like nothing else she had said had ever stung before, but it made you stronger. If the world can't love you, then fuck the world. You didn't need anything it offered anyway.)

You’re not really thinking as you storm off toward the physics department. It’s late. How can you really be responsible for anything that goes on this late? And you know what they say, “Nothing good ever happens after 3 o’clock”.

The great thing about college campuses is that your id card lets you get in almost anywhere. For basically anywhere else, if you loiter around and wait for the right moment, you can typically follow someone in right before the door closes behind them. Voila, no tools needed! You are very lucky that college students don’t have much of a concept of sleep and physics majors in particular are egregiously worse than the average student. You only have to wait a few minutes before a beleaguered grad student leaves the physics department before catching the door with your foot right before it closes. You know that the inside of buildings can be a little bit more tricky to break into. Most doors are locked and you don’t really know what you’re searching for, but your sleep addled brain is telling you press forward, so onward you go. You have a set of lock picks for these specific occasions that you’ve gotten decently good at using. How convenient that the physics department has these little placards noting exactly who works in each lab (although you had "let yourself" into a few labs before you notice them). After four tries you stumble into Harley's.

(You might have lied about not knowing who she was before. You've been watching her since your mom trilled on about a special PhD candidate who’s younger than you and has already accomplished so much! Isn’t that great honey? It's so funny how some children can really be more brilliant than others. Oh don't look at me like that dear, it's not about you! I’m just stating the facts. The fact is you hated her on sight the first time you saw her across the room at one of the lame trustee parties your mom forced you to dress up and attend, filled with graying and balding men just there to suck up to your mom. You did your best to avoid her the entire night, but it was hard not to hear how. Many. Fucking. People. Seemed to worship the ground she walked on and the high, sweet, lilt of her voice as she thanked each person unaware of how quickly they’d discard her the moment she walked out of line. Oh god she may be book smart but she’s so stupid. You’ve seen scholarship students rise and fall. Only a select few survive once they had to face the reality of academia and you didn’t think she had what it took to make it through. She looked too soft. Too easily chewed up by how selfish adults can get. You almost pitied her if you didn’t hate her so much. You would know, because you were in the limelight for a brief moment before it came crashing down when you couldn’t make the cut. )

You know it's hers because of the succulents that crowd the single tiny window (“She’s also a highly skilled gardener!” your mom had sighed before looking at the dying roses that you had bought her for mother’s day) and the stuffed animals that litter the countertops looking incredibly childish next to the expensive looking equipment and spools of wires. Power cables are strewn erratically across the floor crisscrossing the room and making you pity, just for a second, whoever's job it is to clean this room. There are post it notes stuck onto almost every flat surface (and some non-flat ones) available. The few you look at are filled with more letters and symbols than numbers, in a language you don't want to even try to understand, so you quickly stop trying to (but also some that contain doodles of flowers, squiggles, cartoons, and.... is that a furry?). It almost feels like your path of chaos didn’t even need to touch this room, but nah, what would be the fun of leaving it be? As you're exploring this room, you inadvertently stumble onto a sleeping body among a particularly large mass of wires and cords, but you nimbly step out of the way just in time to avoid waking her. After collecting yourself, you let yourself watch her sleep for a few seconds, she seems peaceful despite balanced haphazardly on a stool among another pile of wires, papers, and open textbooks. Doesn’t seem quite safe in your opinion, but what would a humble Econ major know about the difficult field of physics? She looks so annoyingly tranquil among the chaos that it makes you scowl on sight. You didn’t really come here with a plan, but now that you’re here, might as well start burning bridges. And by burning bridges you mean pulling plugs. She always said you knew how to destroy things when it mattered, so might as well live up to your reputation.

A loud beep startles you out of your vagrant misdeeds and the cord you were yanking on slips out of your hand. The combination of your backwards momentum and the previous mess on the floor sends you flailing precipitously toward some sharp looking instruments with nothing stopping you. With little else that you’re able to do, you close your eyes and think, ah this is how I die, brain splattered in the basement of the physics department. At least it’ll horrify Harley. You hope that you got in as much damage as possible from pulling out those cords combined with whatever havok your body will do upon impact. You think about how your mother was always right. You are a walking disaster. Hopefully it’ll work in your favor this time. Boo hoo she’d cry when she realizes that all her life’s work will be ruined. Boo hoo boo hoo. At least you won’t have to see any of that in person; you know it would piss you the fuck off, but you feel a little warm inside thinking you managed to ruin one more person’s day other than your own. As you’re thinking this and bracing for impact, the excruciating pain that you were expecting never comes. Instead, you feel a hand catch you at your wrist. You barely register that pain as you open your eyes to see a set of impossibly green eyes stare right at your own, her mouth, lined with slightly buck teeth, open and mirroring the surprise in her eyes. Unfortunately for you, that surprise quickly turns into anger when she notices an unplugged power cable in your other hand and more at the base of your feet. She lets go the moment she feels you jerk into safety. You crash land straight onto your ass, but a high pitched shriek startles you from noticing any discomfort.

“AAAAAAAAAA!!! Are you unplugging cables in my lab????? Why? Do you fucking understand what the fuck you’ve done??? This was years of research! YEARS!!! All gone down the drain! And why the fuck are you in my lab to begin with??????” She storms over to you, grabs a handful of unplugged cables, and gets right in your face, (only a few centimeters, so close you see the spittle form at the edges of her mouth. You do not find her attractive in any sense of the word). She’s hunched over you with one hand tucked in the crook of her waist and the other hand waving the cables you just unplugged, (some intentionally, others had come loose from your fall). To be honest, you barely register what she’s saying. It’s still a little startling to see the girl you’ve only ever seen being almost saccharinely sweet to everyone else curl her lips in absolute rage and spit fire, even if her ire is completely directed at you. You feel your heartbeat speed up a little, but that most certainly is from the near death adrenaline rush and not anything else.

“Are you smiling???? What is wrong with you asshole???? Well? What do you have to say for yourself Vriska Serket?”

This knocks you back into reality. You hadn’t realized that she knew your name.

“Uhh...I... was just looking for a charger and your cords just got in my way I guess???” Smooth. Change the topic. “Hey, how do you know my name?” Smoother. It is not a good day for you.

“I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR A CHARGER? How fucking stupid do you think I am fuckass?? God you’re even more of a bitch than people say you are," she berates, while waving a handful of the unplugged cords in your face so close that a couple smack you lightly, "You really don’t think I would have known the kid of my benefactor, who happens to be the same age as me and attending this very college as well, on the scholarship that I had received literally called The Serket Scholarship?”

You feel your face instinctively turn sheepish, before remembering that you are Vriska goddamn Serket and you do not do guilty especially when this bitch had it coming for her.

Another alarm blares through the room before you have a chance to answer and you see her sprint toward where you first found her sleeping. She twists a few additional knobs here and there and starts frantically writing things down which you take as your cue to leave.

“No wait. Don't move,” she says when she hears you get up. You start walking toward the door anyway. Fuck her you don’t even listen to Dr. Scratch, why would you listen to a wannabe scientist? You hope that she's sufficiently enough distracted by whatever it is that she's doing for you to make your escape; however you aren't that lucky. When she sees that you are still walking away, she abandons her notebook and dashes between you and your exit before you can get out of the door.

“Stay right the fuck where you are Serket,'' she says as she looks up at you and grabs you by the neck of your collar. She’s a little shorter than you expected; but her frazzled loose black curls easily hang below her waist and she takes up more space than you'd think. She gets so close (again!) that you instinctively jump back a little, but you’re effectively caught.

“I don’t like being mean, but I can do it if you make me. You come in and wreck my lab and I can do the right thing and report you, but it’s late, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed the many many eyebags that have developed!!!!” She sighs with her whole body and points at her eyes very beleaguered,  “but I’ve been here for a long ass time and would rather not have to interrupt my work to drag you to Dr. Scratch's office. For some reason??? This time the run actually completed as expected and I don’t know if it’s you or something else, but I'm getting a little desperate and I’m not going to jinx it. I’ll overlook this..." she gestures at the pool of unplugged cables, "...incident, if you just hold these cables like you just did. Please,” she looks into your eyes, her own big, wide, green with her lips in a slight pout, “Stay here for a little longer?”

Unfortunately for her, you’re Vriska Serket and you don’t fall for just any simpering fool.

Harley puts you right to work….. holding up the cables that you had so haphazardly unplugged earlier. It takes you a second to figure out how you ended up standing there just watching Harley scribble down notes and take measurements furiously, especially after you thought you were pretty explicitly clear about leaving. You try to carefully lower the cables down to make your escape when you think she isn't watching but she turns around and gives you the nastiest glare that you've ever seen until you lift the cables back up to position again. You aren't entirely sure why you're listening. You blame it on the lack of sleep and the early (late? What time is it??) hours and ignore how you can't help but watch Harley’s fury ebb into something you don't think you've ever seen in yourself. Maybe passion. Maybe gas!

"Done done and done!!!!!! Oh my god. You're a lifesaver!!" 

You're not sure how long you've just been staring, (because of the sleep dep!!!!!!) But this outburst startles you from your stupor.

"Oh. Uh. Yeah. You’re welcome ;;;) that's me, miracle worker. I take tips in cash!!"

"I mean you also made me rewire literally half of the spectrometer and the laser configurations were off between 2.39 and 7.91 degrees AND I had to recalibrate almost all the mirrors, but it works!!!!! It finally works!!!!!" She spins around on her stool, giddy from excitement. 

You stand there awkwardly still holding the cables, unsure if you’re allowed to set them down this time. You move your arms back and forth toward the ground in your indecisiveness before you finally set the wires down on the floor when Harley doesn’t glare at you this time. You right yourself and pretend it was all intentional. Why was it so hard to compose yourself around this girl? 

“Uh…. so do you need me to do anything else, Harley?”

“Oh gosh. Hmm… this experiment honestly worked sooooo well with you around. And I know it’s definitely a coincidence…… BUT I’m already so behind on this paper and if your presence helps it AT ALL then I really need your ass here. Can you please come here again, just a few more times until I get through this part??? I promise I’ll keep the wire pulling and your breaking and entering bullshit just to myself,” she’s leaning forward on her stool toward you now; her oversized shirt slumping and one shoulder of her lab coat falling a little more provocatively than you think she really intends it. It’s a knockout combobob on your rational self when combined with her puppy dog eyes staring right into yours. You couldn’t have said no at that moment if you tried. (Some ex once told you that you had really hypnotic dark brown eyes despite the monolids. You punched their lights out and broke up with them immediately for saying that. The memory briefly flashes in the back of your mind as you consider that it is truly dangerous to make eye contact with Jade Harley)

"She’s such a fucking BITCH! I hate her so much!!!” you say as you slam the door to your and Roxy's room. It’s almost when a normal person would be awake when you finally get back to your dorm room.

“lol who dis tim?” Roxy asks, swiveling her head toward you while her fingers remain typing at a constant speed on her laptop. Meenah is also there lazily draped over Roxy's bed playing on one of Roxy’s modded video game consoles.

“Oooooo dish fishka. Who’s the poor unfortunate soul you have a crush on this time???” she grins at you. It almost looks sadistic from this angle.

“I literally said that I hated her!!!!!!!! How did you make that into a crush?????” you indignantly sputter.

“Uh huh, so whos da broad an what did she do”, Roxy replies and pauses to share a look with Meenah that you hate, but elect to ignore. You instead, take their pause as a tacit agreement for your rant.

“Ugh so you know that freak Jade Harley that everyone’s been going off about blah blah blah, well I ran into her in her lab and maybe tripped over some wires and loosened some attachments, but she went CRAZY and made me hold up wires for her until like 8 am????? And then she had the audacity to up and run off to class after working me to death???? She’s so fucking annoying I can’t believe I have to see her again tomorrow at 10 pm.” you groan and fall onto your own bed to scream in the pillows.

“Mmmmhmmm,” replies Meenah, but you can tell even without looking that her attention is elsewhere. Probably by Roxy or the video game she was playing.

She's been around a lot lately now that the two of them are dating, but you don’t terribly mind. (Sure Meenah might have been an ex at one point in time, and you may or may not have bawled your eyes out for days after she broke up with you, but you eventually got yourself together again. Sometimes seeing them together making fish puns at each other as Roxy’s hacking her way into some secret government facility or making the class syllabus page play the pythong song on repeat tugs at your heart a little. But then you remember that it wouldn’t have worked out anyway and seeing both of them so happy kills any left over sentimentality.)

“y u botherin going 2morrow if u hate her?” Unlike Meenah, Roxy is completely focused on you.

You make an ungodly sound at that, but then quickly compose yourself. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. You know nothing. She’s basically threatening me to go see her!!!!”

“Fish since when can you be threatened into doing somefin you don’t want to do?” Meenah retorts.

“You’d have you be there to understand!!!!!!! It’s like she hypnotized me or something!!!! God I thought you two were my friends. SYMPATHIZE WITH ME!!!!!!” You love the both of them, but you decide that it’s gotten a little tiring third-wheeling all the time.

She texts you at precisely 10pm the next day with a wall of green text reminding you that you need to meet her in her lab. You groan and slowly make your way over after you are done complaining to Roxy about the latest professor you’d managed to upset. (You told the professor off and listed the mistakes he’d made in front of the entire class after he gave a particularly mediocre lecture riddled with errors, boring you and the rest of class half to death. Honestly, you actually bothered to show up to lecture for once and it… sucked??? Why should anyone even fucking bother??? It’s such a waste of time and most students pay how much to be here????) 

The moment you walk into the door, she takes your hand (and you absolutely don’t flush from the unexpected warmth. Her hand is a lot smaller and softer than you were expecting), drags you right to a new stool she had set out for you and plops a bundle of cords right into your lap. 

“Did you leave the lab since yesterday?? You stink.” You’re a lot more coherent today than yesterday. Nice how sleep will do that for you.

“Like you should talk. And besides this is really really important! And I’m behind so shut the fuck up and just sit there quietly why won’t you???” You think you got under her skin a little, so you wait for your next attack. Just because she somehow got you to come didn’t mean that you had to come willingly.

“So…. whatcha working on?” you ask, deciding that it’s been 10 minutes, and you miss the sound of your own voice.

“No offense, but I don’t really think you’d understand,” Harley says without missing a beat.

“Trrrrrrrryyyyyyyy meeeeeeee. If someone as spacey as you can do it then this can’t be too hard.”

She snickers, “Well I was previously in the middle of calibrating my quantum computer set up and making sure that everything was WAI by running a series of tests to check that the logic gates have been correctly set up. However! Up until yesterday, really, the number of out-of-phase photons that were measured for the NOT gate was not correct! Something must have been scratched or shifted in transit and messed up some of the lasers so I was stuck on that for a really long time. I think the shock of your presence must have kick started my brain or something because I finally fixed the issue yesterday and all of the experiments have been running smoothly ever since. My end goal really is to see how much I can scale the system. It’s pretty limiting to only be able to control one qubit at a time. Imagine if we could control millions of qubits instead of one or two!”

“Huh.”

“It’s okay I’ll stop. I really didn’t mean any offense earlier. Most people don’t really understand what I’m saying and the ones who do tend to mansplain my own research back to me,” her voice softens a little. You’re a little surprised that you’re still listening.

“Yeah, I tooooooootally didn’t understand a word that you just said, the last time I took a physics class was back in high school and my mom maaaaaaaade me take that one so I didn’t learn shit from that teacher, but what you’re doing sounds interesting? Lasers huh. Never thought you could do electron shit with it. I remember burning holes in paper,” you say and you mean it a lot more genuinely than you thought you were capable of being.

She looks a little taken aback by your reaction and adds, “I mean, I’m always happy to talk about physics if you’re interested! I really love it, but for now I’ll just get back to my measurements.” And she turns back to her experiment fortunately saving you from having to listen to more physics (although you think you probably wouldn’t have minded too much hearing her talk more.)

“”Hey can you come again tomorrow if you’re not busy?” she asks. 

“Psh who do you think I am? I’m a very busy person so I’d have to check.” You grimace a little. You weren’t really expecting this to be a nightly thing. You pull up your phone to check your schedule. Damn. You really need more friends. Why don’t you have anything planned on a Friday night?

“Oh! So nothing! Awesome. You can keep me company then instead!” she interjects having seemingly teleported next to you  while you were scrolling through your calendar and peering very eagerly over at your phone screen. 

You sputter inelegantly. While you’re distracted, she plucks your phone out of your hand and carefully blocks in your Friday night with:

Unfortunately for you, as interesting as Jade Harley might find her lab experiment, you really really really really really really really really don’t. All you can tell that she’s doing is turning some lasers on and off and writing a couple of numbers down. You don’t get it. Talking to her in between is nice, but it’s still a pretty long time. A few hours pass and you find yourself getting a little bored during a particularly long stretch of silence, you take some of the paper and one of the pens strewn around you and start doodling. You come to find that Harley makes a much more interesting reference to work off of. Your first drawing is … a little rough admittedly. Drawing from life is nothing compared to vandalism. If you were being honest with yourself, you tend to get caught before you ever even finished any of your spray painted pieces, so It’s been a while since you’ve actually taken the time to draw anything. When you used to get caught drawing, as a kid, your mom liked to tell you how much time you were wasting when you could have been studying instead. You decide to crumple the drawing up instead of finishing it after a few minutes of this depressing thought process and throw it at Harley’s head when you think she isn’t looking. Surprisingly, she catches it in her hand mid air and smirks.

“Wow Serket, you know if you get caught passing notes in class, you have to read it out loud to everyone!”

 She ceremoniously unfolds the ball taking her sweet time to make sure she smooths out each wrinkle before pretending to get up to dramatically flip the paper over and announce the contents of the paper to the room.

“Well well well, what do we have here? Huh.” She pauses and actually takes a look at the picture you’ve drawn. You cross your arms and pretend that you aren’t unnerved by her silence. 

“Harley it’s nothing really, give it back to me and I’ll throw it in the trash,” you say as you reach for her hand.

She dances out of your reach while still looking at the drawing. “This is me right? I really like it! I love the line quality and shapes even though you drew devil horns on me!!! As revenge, this belongs here now.” And she pins your doodle next to one of her own that had been haphazardly tacked to a metal beam in front of her work area.

“PSHHHH I can do better than that one,” you respond with… relief? It… feels kind of nice to be appreciated for once and not reprimanded even though it was just a quick doodle.

“Well why don’t you show me?” She looks at you smuggly.

“Challenge accepted Harley,” and you can’t help but smile back at her.

The rest of your time in the lab passes by relatively uneventfully as you two chat on and off while her experiment runs and while you doodle some more drawings that you pelt her with... to distract her.

It becomes a habit weirdly enough, to show up at her lab at precisely 10:07 PM (so as to never be actually on time). You play video games, chat, draw, nap, and one singular time, do homework. It’s kind of nice having a quiet place on campus away from your roommate and her +1 who’s always around. 

"DOOOOOOOOONE! Well for today," she smiles as she stretches and cracks her neck and back a few times before turning to face you, "Thanks for coming again!" 

"You really didn't give me much of a choice Harley, but I will graciously accept any gratitude," you fake bowing low and deep from your seat. You really didn't do much the last couple of hours.

"I’m starving, how about you? Let’s get food! It’s on me,” she says and starts dragging you (and you savor the warmth a little. It’s cold in the wee hours of the morning) out of the lab and into the hallway before you can say anything in response. She turns a few corners and stops right in front of a dingy old vending machine that seems to be built in the mid 1900s.

“Did you want a snack? I thought we were getting food?” you ask, but she starts pulling out a little frog zipper pouch of money.

“What are you talking about silly, this is food! Best on campus! Although admittedly I haven’t really been much elsewhere. I haven’t eaten dinner yet, so don’t judge me for how much I’m going to buy for myself!”

“You… haven’t eaten dinner yet??? Aren’t you supposed to be a genius or something?? It’s like 2AM???? What do you do normally???”

“You don’t have to be a bitch about it,” she shrugs and punches in a few codes with practiced ease, “besides, I’m always really busy either with classes or meetings or research so it’s been hard to find time to sit and eat? Idk the dining halls never felt super appealing due to the cost and it’s never open when I want to eat??? Who eats lunch at 12 PM??? This vending machine has everything a girl could want anyway, it’s close by and cheap and fast! So are you going to question me all day or are you going to order something?” 

“Uh. Just get me a bag of chips I guess.”

(The next time you visit her lab, you awkwardly bring a takeout container filled with some brownies, and another container with some leftovers because it’s easier to make larger batches anyway, and also they’re not even for her. They’re second dinner for yourself. You get snackish okay? If there’s enough for Harley, then… then it’s just a coincidence.)

You’re pretty consistent at going to see her in her lab, only missing a day or two every so often. However, your mom stops for no woman and she decides on an impromptu mother-daughter bonding trip to have at her next recruitment drive. When you tell her in the car that you can’t go because you have class, she simply laughs in your face before telling you that she knows you haven’t gone all semester before driving off immediately toward the airport. 

The moment you get back onto campus, you make a quick batch of emergency cookies and take off running toward Jade’s lab. “Hey sorry I’ve been gone for a few days. God you wouldn’t believe the fucking shit my mom drags me to,” you say a little out of breath once you bust through the door, “She basically kidnapped me on a surprise trip and took my phone away so I couldn’t text you. She made me go with her to recruit at some rando high school in the middle of nowhere and hoped it would,” you pause and make air quotes, “ Inspire you to get your act together or else I might just leave you here. Who the fuck does she think she oh shit…” you stop right before you start ranting about your mom when you see Jade sitting on the floor hyperventilating while shredding sheets of graph paper and staring off into the distance.

“.... you alright? You look absolute SHIT and I ran into Tavros on the way here. Have you slept since I last saw you like three days ago???” This seems to startle her out of her stupor and she looks at you but her eyes are still unfocused.

“I’m fine! I’m so freaking fine! Have you ever seen me not fine? Why the fuck would you think otherwise?”

“Really now. You must think I’m blind AND stupid!”

She frantically picks herself up off the ground and nervously dusts some paper remnants from her skirt. “Auck. I know how I must look, but really like I’m”

“If you say fine one more time, I’ll pull allllllll these cords,” you say sternly and randomly grab a set of cords from the ground.

She looks at you in silence a little dumbfounded and then bursts into tears. “I’m ruined. I’m a ruined woman. This experiment was working so well and then you left and then everything stopped working yesterday???? I haven’t slept in so long, and I have nothing to show for it. The grant review is set to happen in a month and I have NOTHING! I mean I have something, but I was supposed to have MORE! I know I can do more WHY COULDN’T I DO MORE? WHY ISNT IT WORKING OUT LIKE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO? The committee’s just going to think, oh you’re just a stupid little girl. Huh, I thought you could have been something, but I guess we were wrong!!!”

“....I don’t get it. Why would they think you’re dumb. You’re literally the youngest researcher in your field. I’ve seen the multiple awards you’ve already won for the school. My mom literally name drops you at every opportunity she gets.” You really don’t get it. You’ve spent a lot of time with Jade at this point and even though you don’t understand her work, you do understand that she is really good at what she does.

“UGH OF COURSE YOU WOULDN’T GET IT. HAVE YOU EVER ACHIEVED ANYTHING MEANINGFUL IN YOUR LIFE ONLY TO LET DOWN ALL THE PEOPLE WHO WERE WAITING FOR YOU DO TO SOMETHING GREAT?”

“Ow, bitch. But okay. One. You just said you had something. That’s not nothing last I checked. Two. Have you been staring at the same damn thing for the past two days? Isn’t it a thing to step back and not let yourself be consumed by it? Fuck part of it probably doesn’t work cuz I wasn’t here to tell your brain to stop being such an all consuming nerd for 43 hours straight.”

“47 hours and 21 minutes,” she miserably interrupts you.

“See what I mean why are you even bothering to keep track of the minute passage of time? Be like me. More chill. And finally, seriously who the fuck cares about what some stoogy old white men in suits think of you? I’ve literally been in the same room as almost all the people on that committee you’ve been talking about and I can tell that they all think that wearing cologne is a substitute for intelligence and personality. Believe me I’ve seen a lot of wash-outs and phonies growing up and you are far far far from that. You should take my word to be the most important because of course, I am the most important person there fucking is.” You puff your chest out a little and pound your fist on it.

“Lol you’re right, how could I ever doubt the sage wisdom of Vriska Serket? Tell me, do you sell your pearls of wisdom in a motivational self improvement book or do you just cast them before swine,” she replies snarkily, but you notice that her breath seems to have settled into small hiccups and she’s not crying anymore.

“First one’s on the house for the lovely snot nosed lady found bawling her eyes out looking for the comfort only my presence can bring them.”

She rolls her eyes. “Hooooollyyyyyy crappppppp Vriska, has anyone told you how absolutely insufferable and self centered you are?”

“Yet you literally ask me to come to your lab every night and the few days I don’t you seem absolutely miserable???? I may not have the IQ of Einstein like you, but could this be a correlation??? ;;;;))))”

“CORRELATION DOES NOT MEAN CAUSATION!!!!” she says very sternly and fist shakes at you, but she can’t help but break into a smile.

“....Thanks Vriska.” she mutters

“For what?”

“For nothing. For being you. I think I’m actually fine now. It’s just been a really fucking long three days and I hate to admit it but I think I missed you. I was worried about you when I didn’t hear from you for so long.”

“I missed you too. I’ll make sure to call or text or something next time,” you hesitantly reply, but then reach out your hand toward her “Hey. Let’s ditch this place for just tonight okay? I really think you need some sleep. I’ll walk you to your dorm room.” Her gaze wavers between your hand and her desk. “And you can have some of these AMAZING cookies I baked. They’re sure to beat whatever shit you last ate.” With that temptation waved literally in front of her face, she steps toward you and clasps your hand.

“If it’s not at least 32% better then I’ll demand a refund,” she makes a grab for the cookies and you jerk it out of her reach. 

“Nuh uh. If you take it now then I know you’ll just stay here. We’re going OUT tonight!” You wave the box of cookies in front of you and whisk her, still sniffling, out of the lab and into the night air.

 “I think… I think I might have a little crush on her,” you relay sheepishly to your roommates muffled by a pillow during a late pow wow session. They, very mercifully on their part, let you keep your dignity by not saying anything to that.

“VRISKA IM FREE. AAAAA I NEVER KNEW SUNLIGHT FELT SO GOOD,” Jade sighs as you two step outside after a particularly grueling session in the lab. It’s 7 AM now and you two were giggling and gossiping all night long. 

“God Harley we really need to get you out of the lab more! All that artificial light must be why you’re so short!”

“SHUT UPPPPPPP AND LET ME ABSORB ALL THE VITAMIN D WHILE I CAN, THEN!!!!!” She’s skipping and twirling around with her arms out in the middle of the sidewalk a little loopy and almost running into a few students heading off to their early morning classes.

You grab her arm and pull her back into you before she crashes into a particularly sleep deprived girl holding what seemed to be a giant mug of burning hot coffee.  “Look Harley,” you point at her as she glowers at you while fast walking away, “actual real life people. AWW LOOK AT ALL OF YOU GOING TO CLASS LIKE SOME GOODY TWO SHOES, YOU’D NEVER GUESS WHAT YOU MISSED OUT ON LAST NIGHT!” 

“SHHHHHHHHHH,” she says loudly and laughs in your ear, “YOU’LL WAKE THEM.”

“FUCK THEM THEN!!!!! I DIDN’T GET ANY SLEEP LAST NIGHT SO YA’LL DON’T EITHER!!!!!!”

You playfully punch the side of her arm. When you pull away you see her go to try to pay you back by grabbing your sleeve. You’re about to poke her again when you feel a harsh tug on your upper arm. You turn around, and you’re face to face with Dr. Scratch looking angrier than you’ve ever seen him before.

“Miss Serket. What did I say before about leaving Miss Harley here alone? Come with me young lady. We will discuss your punishment thoroughly,” he says as he starts dragging you toward his office. You’re scared, but you don’t want to show it in front of Jade. 

“Man what a mood killer Doc. I’m coming, no need to manhandle me,” and you roughly try to shrug off his hand to attempt to text Jade that you’ll see her later at your usual time. That everything is fine, this happens regularly. However, before you can even type out the first word, Jade’s voice rings out.

“Excuse me Dr. Scratch. I don’t mean to be a bother, but I was the one who sought her out! I heard she’s quite excellent with diagrams and drawings, so I told her to come by my lab, since then I have found her help absolutely vital to the work that I’ve been doing. Please. I don’t think I can finish this next submission for the National Skaianet Foundation Graduate Research Fellowship, also known as the NSF, without her by my side.” Your heart skips a few beats when you see her talk and you feel his hand loosen his grip. He quickly moves his hand to adjust his tie awkwardly.

“Um. Very well then. The NFS fellowship sounds like quite the important fellowship that we don’t want to lose out on. If she causes any trouble, feel free to let me know.” He glares at you one last time before excusing himself. You’re left a little stunned. You’ve never seen Dr. Scratch so uncomposed before. (You’ve never had anyone defend you before and it touches your heart in a place that you thought you had sealed off long ago.)

“Um, thanks, you really didn’t have to do that you know? I’ve got clout with the school. I would have managed.”

“Still. I rather not take the risk. I need you,” she pauses, then quickly stammers, “in my lab. You’re good for my results.” You feel a little let down, but it makes sense.

“Haha yeah, I’m glad I’m useful for your uber important research whatever it is you’re doing. Good ol’ Vriska Serket, standing around just holding wires and apparently I’m drawing your diagrams now? When was I gunna be informed of that????” You say sarcastically, through a sad smile without making direct eye contact. You feel her hesitantly nudge your fingers with hers. You look at her. She’s much closer than she was before, but this time she’s the one looking away.

In a soft whisper she says, “... and I like you and having you around.”

Your fingers start reaching for hers and she interlaces her fingers with yours.

“Um” you say eloquently. Why are you so freaking eloquent around this girl???

“Who wouldn’t????” you reply.

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

She glares at you and moves to leave. You quickly realize your mistake and grab her hand before she completely lets go, “I’m kidding. I’m… sorry.”

“Sure. what are you sorry about? That I confessed to you and you just respond with a ‘who wouldn’t???? Or is there something else to be sorry about???”

You’re a little exasperated at this point.

“You caught me off guard. Okay? Also you totally know that I’m a bitch so that wasn’t even something out of character for me to say! I was literally just about to get suspended or expelled or worse, he’d go and talk to my mom. I wasn’t really riding the highest of emotions here. You also literally just joked that you only need me around for your research. You couldn’t have really expected that I could anticipate what you wanted to say next!” 

You can tell that she’s still hurt, but you also can’t stop yourself. “Look.” She’s not looking at you, and you squeeze your own eyes shut, to try to stop the tears from flowing. Oh god you’re fucking this up aren’t you. (Like you always do.) “I… I’m a little scared.” That comes out of your mouth before you can stop it. Oh god it’s just all word vomit now. “I… like you… too.... But I’m an asshole. I’m messy. I can be a little bitchy on occasion,” she snorts to that and mutters, “understatement of the year” under her breath, and you smile at that, “and I really don’t want you to say you like me without knowing that and knowing that I know that, Jade.” (To be completely honest to yourself, just this once; you’re scared that she’ll leave once she does.)

Your eyes are still closed and you feel like you’re about a second from fully on bawling in the middle of the quad, but you feel a tug on the collar of your t-shirt and you open your eyes to see a squished up face coming right toward your own at full force. When she smashes her lips unceremoniously against yours, you close your eyes again, let yourself savor the moment, and feel almost 20 years of tension release all at once in a flood of saliva, tongue, bites, and copious amounts of groping. An almost embarrassing amount of groping, you might have thought, if you weren’t so fucking enamored with the girl you are currently very busy making out with and who is very eagerly making out with you. 

You hear a familiar voice interrupting your concentrated effort to touch as much of Jade Harley as humanly possible, “AS MUCH AS I AND ALL OF US LOWLY COCKMUNCHING PLEBIANS ENJOY WATCHING TWO ASSFUCKS DRY HUMP EACH OTHER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE QUAD. GET A FUCKING ROOM AND STOP FUCKING BLOCKING THE SIDEWALK YOU GODDAMN JUNGLEHUMPING ANIMALS. FUCKING BASTARDS IMPEEDING EVERYONE. SOME OF US HAVE PLACES TO BE, CLASSES TO TAKE AND HOMEWORK TO DO. TICK TOCK EVERYBODY.” Normally you’d revel in taking Karkat Vantas down a few pegs, but you’re a little too giddy (and your mouth is a little too preoccupied) to have made any actually cutting remarks anyway. You settle for flipping him off with one hand while balancing Jade’s ass in the other. She seems to have basically climbed up your body to shove her tongue down your throat even further at the provocation. (You definitely feel her canines part a little in what you think is a grin.)

“UGH FINE,” yells Karkat before you feel a strong, definitely intentional, hip check backed by the full weight of his backpack unbalance you two from where you’re standing. The resulting force breaks you two apart and you topple onto the grass next to the sidewalk with Jade sprawled on top of you. 

“FUCKASS. You’re just jealous because no one hot wants to make out with you!!!” Jade yells back as Karkat flips the two of you with both hands while running off. You take the time to catch your breath and slow your racing heart beat. You are so delirious. From both the lack of sleep and the adrenaline rush. She is so beautiful, you think, sitting in your lap, hair messed up even more than usual, glasses on a little crooked; with your lipstick smeared across her laughing mouth and triumphantly exchanging middle fingers with Karkat. After Karkat scuttles away muttering curses at the two of you, she collapses into your arms giggling and wheezing so hard she almost chokes a few times. You brush some vagrant curls of her hair from her face much more tenderly than you ever thought you were capable of. This seems to stop her laughter and you’re a little scared again, but she puts her hands on the side of your face, looks you straight in the eyes and says.

“Vriska Serket. I am Jade motherfucking Harley and as you’ve seen from my lab,” she gestures wildly to the sky, ”I deal with messes on a daily basis.”

“I dunno Harley, I wouldn’t say leaving all your wires tangled up in one place is necessarily dealing with the mess but who am I to say,” you say cheekily.

“SHOOSH. That’s what I have you for. To help me sort out the mess. Wires, experiments, and me,” her voice goes a little softer. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m kind of a mess myself. ” 

“Nah, that’s obvious!” you laugh, gently lean your forehead against hers and add, “I guess that means we have to find out how to be messes together, Jade.” You pull her into a much more gentle kiss than earlier. You think you could love her. You think you're already in love with her. (And the tiniest part of you you've always quashed down previously thinks that maybe, maybe she could love you as well.)

It’s really fucking weird to love Jade Harley. On some days, it feels so gentle. She smiles at you, you feel like you're drowning. You want to memorize the lines her mouth makes with your own. Everytime you think that you’ve determined all that is to know about her, she surprises you. She makes you realize things about yourself that you didn’t know either. Like did you know how great being touched is? She laughed at you and called you touch starved the first time you mention how weird it was that you’ve never craved the feeling of someone’s hand before you met her. And you ate her laughter up through some more kisses.

On other days it’s categorically violent. You want to run away desperately. You don’t deserve to love someone as much as you love her. But one look and you’re dragged back in. You're not really sure how or if you really want to escape her gravitational pull. 

She kisses you like she's starving, a little wet, lips upturned in a snarl and biting canines. Most of the time it thrills you and you want to give as good as you get, but on some days it's a little hard to bring yourself to draw actual blood. Instead, it’s easier to focus on how soft her lips and tongue are especially in contrast to her sharp teeth. The sighs and gentle moans between the growls. How fragile and warm her body feels pressed underneath you over the scrapes of her nails trailing along your back. 

It becomes almost second nature for you to make enough dinner for two and pack the leftovers in a Tupperware to bring with you when you head over to the physics department. Jade's a night owl so it's late as always and you know that if you leave her to her own devices for too long, she'll skip meals. It's easier to make a larger batch, and it's also kind of nice to watch her scarf down your food with a vigor and enthusiasm you don't think she's faking. The only downside is that she makes you do your schoolwork instead of just loitering around as you had done the first few nights.

"Go back to your drawing," she blushes when she notices that you're watching.

"Yes ma'am, but I noticed you got some food on your cheek," you reply. She blushes furiously, wipes her cheek with some of the paper towels stolen from the bathroom, and indignantly turns away from you but takes the food with her. 

"You're just lucky your food is delicious and for some reason my equipment seems to work extra well when you're around," she huffs, but smiles in your direction. She mouths, I love you, smiles, and makes an awkward looking heart with her hands at you. Your heart skips two beats; one from hearing the compliment and another from knowing that the smile is directed at you and only you. You decide it’s time to abandon your work for a second time and scoot your chair over to where she’s sitting and lay your head on her shoulder for a few minutes just savoring the warmth of her skin while listening to the steady ebb and flow from her breathing and scratches her pencil makes on her paper. She puts down her pencil and turns to you and you move to give her a gentle kiss.

“Hey, I love you.” You whisper as you brush your lips to her eyelashes when you part. It dawns on you that this is the first time you think you've ever treasured someone and you are so so so scared.

“I love you too.” She whispers back and kisses the tears that had been involuntarily gathering at the corners of your eyes. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know. Ugh tears are so stupid. I don’t know why I’m crying.” You blubber. You genuinely don’t know why you’re crying but something pulls in your heart as you let yourself love.

“Hey it’s okay. Cry as much as you want.” You watch as tears start forming in her eyes too. 

“Jade, why are you crying?”

“Haha, I….I don’t know either?”

You cry and she cries and you her and she holds you and you squeeze back twice as hard. You two sit there exchanging tears and kisses and hugs and words of love until you both almost fall asleep exhausted in each others arms. 

You'd think the moon would revolve around the sun, but in actuality, they serenade each other in an endless dance throughout the cosmos as the universe expands to infinity. The three body problem has nothing compared to your elaborate courtship. “What the fuck,” she laughs in bed after you managed to drag her back to a bed despite knowing Jade would have been perfectly content sleeping on top of all the wires, when you say this to her albeit not quite as romantically as you had planned in your head. “I don’t really know how to begin to start to explain how wrong that was but A+ on effort I guess.” You kiss her smug expression and try to memorize every line on her face for future reference. Light doesn’t stand much of a chance against the pull of gravity, so honestly you were fucked the moment you met her. But, you think as you fall asleep nestled in her arms, you wouldn’t mind falling into her orbit.