Work Text:
“Just Top Guys Doing Top Guy Things”
“Yes, is something wrong with it?”
“You….do you not get the implication there? At all?”
“We’re top guys, and whatever we do is the top, right?”
“That’s...that’s one interpretation, yes.”
“Okay, what exactly are you getting it? I’m not seeing the issue here.”
“Just shut up and listen and don’t say anything until I get to the end of this, okay?”
“....suuuuuure???”
“It. Okay. It comes across as sexual. No don’t. A top is just...the person who...pitches. Ugh, the person who takes on the active role? No? The person doing the fucking, not the person being fucked. Okay, fine, ask the question you want to ask.”
“Like, gay guys?”
“Mostly, that’s where the terminology came from, but it applies to ladies as well as straight couples or can at least. Ask the other question you’re going to ask.”
“What’s the counterpart?? What is the ...non-active role?”
“Bottom. So yes, you have a top and a bottom. And switches. Nevermind, it’s not important. At all. But the slogan is like “We’re sexual tops, doing sexual top stuff . What?”
“But you can't ...can you have two tops together? Don’t you need a ...bottom did you say?”
“One of them. Us. Them. Would be a switch, which is uh, you know. Someone who take either role as they wish. So a top who could be a bottom if the situation called for it. Which I guess it would if you have two top guys at once. Ugh.”
“ Wait. ”
“If you’re going to ask “Does that mean people think we’re having sex.” Then my response to you is that you should stay far far away from that part of the internet.”
“ Oh god . They're ...saying we have sex? With each other? With our colleagues? ”
“That’s called shipping. Stop. It’s from ‘relationships’, with just the second part being used. So ‘shipping’. And yes. As I just said,stay the hell away from any shipping sites unless you want to kill your brain.”
“You didn’t answer the question! That means they are, aren’t they!”
“Chill out . You don’t ever have to see any of this, you know.”
“But why ?”
“Because people...like to do so? And the slogan is not helping. At all. I don’t mean one has to become uhhhhh super general audiences or whatever. Just ...there are a lot of people out there. And it’s not like they’re trying to shove their fics in our faces, so it...doesn’t matter really.”
“Ugh. They’d continue even if we changed the slogan?”
“Man, they’ve been doing it before the slogan and will do so for long after. It just upped the amount of content. By a lot.”
“Man, can you maybe not explain this in the future unless it’s actually going to like show up in my email or someone hands me a printed fanfic or some shit?”
“You’d have to ask them to do that, generally.”
“I don’t think I want to know how you know that.”