Work Text:
His mind had been spiraling downward lately. Not that it was a rare occurrence, but he couldn't seem to get himself out of his slump. Every little thing made him feel even worse about himself to the point that he finally asked himself that question.
Why did Tony bother with him?
It didn't stop there. The why's kept coming and it chipped away at his confidence little by little. Why was he Sorcerer Supreme? Why did Peter look up to him as a parental figure? He wasn't the only one either. All of the Avengers kids unofficially made him their collective mom, and Laura and Maggie never worried if Stephen was home. He just didn't know why. How could they trust him so explicitly with their children? He could barely protect his own family. A family he didn't deserve in the first place.
Stephen's hands shake at the thought.
He really didn't deserve Tony and Peter, and they definitely deserved better than him. They deserved someone who wasn't gone days on end and only came home to sleep, someone who could do something as mundane as writing his name on a piece of paper, someone they could trust would never let them go. What if a scenario like that happened? What if they were helpless, either without a suit or low on web fluid, and Stephen had to keep them from falling? With his hands, he wouldn't be able to hold them for long and that thought terrified him. He could be the reason Tony or Peter get seriously injured or even killed because his blasted hands weren't strong enough to hold onto what he cared about most.
He had the nightmares. They always left him waking with silent tears and he would always leave the room so he didn't bother Tony. The man had his own nightmares to deal with, and he asked FRIDAY to delete any footage of the doctor working through his terror before going back to bed. He always went to the roof during these moments, no matter what the weather was like.
"Umm...do you need help with that?"
Stephen looks up from the water bottle he realizes he had been staring at for the past ten minutes and he silently shakes his head. He would open it himself no matter how long it took. He didn't want to have to keep relying on his family. Besides, he was supposed to help Peter, not the other way around. Stephen was the doctor. He took care of his family. He soothed them through nightmares and patched them up whenever they got hurt on patrol or a mission. He made sure they ate and slept properly.
Vishanti help him, he would open this bottle of water by himself.
"Mom...?"
Stephen fumbles with the water bottle. "Hmm?"
"Are you okay?"
"Fine." Stephen snaps, and immediately wishes his could take back the tone he had used when the teen flinches. It wasn't Peter's fault he was feeling the way he was.
Before he could even apologize though, Peter's shoulders had sagged and he left the kitchen, unknowingly leaving Stephen to spiral even farther into his depression. Now he was starting to push people away and he didn't even mean to. Stephen was going back to his old ways, and if he kept it up, he would lose everyone he held dear.
Maybe it was better that way?
Maybe it was better to move back to the Sanctum. With how often he's been home lately, Tony and Peter probably wouldn't even notice if he stopped coming to the tower. He felt like he was freeloading. It didn't matter that he was married to Tony, and what a mistake that had been on the engineer's part. Stephen was a mess. Why did he want to marry the sorcerer in the first place? Why did he move in?
Why, why, why?
Why was he even still here? He could open a portal and be back at the Sanctum in seconds and no one would be the wiser. He was alone in the kitchen.
FRIDAY would know though...and Victor for that matter. He could always give them one last command to delete footage of him leaving and not tell anyone that he had left. But he didn't. No matter how much he questioned why Tony and Peter would want him, he didn't want to leave. He had a family. He may feel insecure about his ability to protect them, but he still loved them. If he left, he really couldn't protect them and that would only add to his guilt.
Stephen frowns at the thought and attempts to open the bottle of water again, just to throw it down onto the counter in frustration when he fails again. These damn hands. They're were barely good enough for magic. Something the team wouldn't lack if he did leave. They still had Wanda and Loki for that. Maybe only Stephen could create portals, but what help was that really? He was a doctor...but so was Bruce. A parent? Tony had that covered.
What was his purpose here?
"Stephen?"
The sorcerer looks up from his vacant stare at the island counter to look at Tony. When he found concern, it only made him feel worse. He had worried them again. Useless. His next words were out of his mouth before he could properly process them.
"I want a divorce."
Tony gapes for a few moments and quickly recovers himself as he waves his hand in the air. "I'm sorry. What was that?"
Stephen looks back down. "You heard me."
"Alright...what brought this on?"
"It doesn't matter." The doctor mumbles, and he jumps when Tony slams his hand on the counter.
"Doesn't matter?! You ask me for a divorce and you won't even tell me why?! That's not how this works!" Tony yells.
Stephen glares up at him half-heartedly. "Maybe I just wanted your money. I got you to pay off my debts."
Stop. Stop trying to push him away.
"My bullshit radar is lighting up like fucking Christmas right now. Tell me the truth."
"...you should probably take my name off Peter's adoption records as well." Stephen says as if he hadn't heard Tony.
That was his mistake though. As soon as he had said that, he outwardly cringed at the thought of not being Peter's parent anymore, and that gave him away. Tony's anger quickly dissolves into concern again and he rounds the island to approach Stephen. The doctor didn't even fight or bat away the hand that made itself at home on the back of his neck.
"Babe...what's going on in that head of yours?" The billionaire asks gently.
Blue eyes meet brown and Stephen clenches his hands into fists. "I...I feel worthless." He admits after a couple of silent minutes. "Wanda and Loki can use magic, Bruce is a doctor, you're a parent to Peter...I just don't know why I'm here."
"Baby...I think you're missing something important here." When Stephen gives him a curious look, Tony thumbs away a tear that had fallen. "You are all three of those...and my wife. Your portals have cut precious time into getting the injured help and you cut even more of that time when you can patch them up on the spot. And the parenting thing? You're in it for life. There's no chance in hell Peter will let you off that easy and you looked like you ate something bad just mentioning taking yourself out of the picture. And being married to me? You're stuck with me. I'm not letting you go." Tony grabs the abandoned water bottle and opens it before offering it to Stephen. "Drink this, we'll get some food in you, and then see if you still want a divorce."
"I don't. I really don't. I'm just afraid of losing you and Peter. Some part of me thought that if I pushed you away, it would be better for you both." The doctor admits quietly.
"Stephen Vincent Strange...you beautiful, equally sarcastic, brilliant man...are an occasional idiot."
Tony gently grabs his head and peppers gentle kisses all over Stephen's face, before leading him to a chair at the other side of the island. The sorcerer sits down with a heavy sigh and drinks from his water bottle as the engineer starts on lunch for them, and Stephen's thoughts drift to Peter. Specifically how he had snapped at the teen, and that just made him upset again. His husband noticed immediately though, and to his surprise apparently knew whay he was thinking.
"Peter came and got me."
"I need to apologize."
Tony nods. "You can do that at lunch. Right now, I just want you to stay out of your own head for a bit."
"Shouldn't I help be helping you then?" Stephen asks.
Tony digs through the junk drawer and pulls out a book of crossword puzzles and a pen, and slides in over to the doctor. "This is an exception to be in your head."
He didn't argue. It was good practice for him since he always avoided writing when he could, and he always enjoyed crossword puzzles. They were a good distraction as well. That and periodically watching Tony make spaghetti. There were a lot of shortcuts the man used while cooking (which is why Stephen did the cooking if Bucky or Wanda didn't), but when it came to the sauce to go with pasta, Tony made it from scratch. His mother's recipe, he had said. It was good too.
"Underoos! Lunchtime kiddo!" Tony yells and both men shout in surprise when Peter hangs from the ceiling in between them. "Warn a guy!"
"I've been here since I smelt the sauce." He then points at the crossword book. "Twenty-seven across is halogen."
Stephen looks back down and raises an eyebrow. "Huh. So it is." He scribbles in the answer as Peter crawls across the ceiling just enough to drop down into the empty seat beside the doctor.
"Feed me!" The teen demands and Tony rolls his eyes as he piles spaghetti onto a plate and tops it before giving it to Peter. "You totally skimped on the sauce!"
"I still have to feed me and your mom! Pipe down!" Peter glowers at him while slurping up some noodles and the engineer snorts. "You look like an angry puppy."
Tony piles two more plates and after dressing them with sauce, slides another plate over to Stephen before leaning over the counter to eat his own. As soon as both men declare that they were full, Peter grabs the leftover sauce and to their horror (and some fascination) drinks it.
"I...I don't even want to apologize for earlier anymore." Stephen says.
"Pete...what is wrong with you?"
Peter wipes his mouth and grins. "It's good sauce." He looks over at Stephen. "You don't need to apologize by the way. Everybody has a bad day. Besides, you've had to deal with like a dozen of mine."
Stephen sighs. "Peter...can I be honest with you?"
"Sure."
"You have a huge glob of sauce on your nose."
Tony and Stephen laugh when Peter crosses his eyes to look at his nose and picks up another napkin to wipe it away.
"You're like a five year old." The billionaire says.
"Hey! That's not true!" The teen says. "I'm five and a half."
"Our mistake." Stephen drawls, accidently letting out a bit of a southern accent, and both Tony and Peter stare at him when he smacks a hand over his mouth.
"Stephanie...where did you say you were born again?" Tony asks with a snigger.
Stephen slowly pulls his hand away from his mouth and turns red with embarrassment. "...Nebraska."
Peter and Tony dissolve into side splitting laughter. "I'm married to a country boy!"
"I changed my mind Tony. I want that divorce."