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hah, SUCKER (for you)

Summary:

Bruce really wishes Tony would kindly learn how to shut the fuck up, thank you. Meanwhile, Loki thinks Tony’s just the right volume for him.

Or

A frostiron soulmate au with singing!

Notes:

Sorry if any of the characters are ooc, I just needed to write something quick! Hope you like it anyway! Btw, Tony is 14 in this and Loki is 15

The rest are normally aged, I think.

(Bonus points to anyone who can name all the songs without looking any of them up, there aren’t many)

Hopefully you’ll enjoy! Kisses <3 <3 <3

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“My, oh my, oh my, oh my. That money’s not for me! My, oh my. I don’t gotta hit the lotto ‘cause I gotta a lotta lovin’ for free.”

“I don’t even think those are the lyrics…” the glare sent his way quickly quieted him, “fine. If you wanna sing the wrong lyrics, be my guest.”

“Ha! ‘Be my guest’, more like…. ‘be our guest!’”

“Ah! No, Clint! No, I will not be your guest. You will not be mine. And no one will be ours. No Disney at the dining table. God.”

“It’s a lunch table, Tony.”

“No one asked for your opinion, Natasha.”

“Anyways… let's get down to business,” Bruce said. He was trying to change the topic, but the wording was just a bit too close to-

“To defeat the Huns! Badadada. Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons?”

“Tony, you’re literally the person who said no Disney.”

“Mulan’s always been different. And no one asked for your opinion, Natasha!”

It was a common occurrence for the table placed nearly center in the lunchroom to be the absolute loudest, so today wasn’t really a change or surprising in the slightest. However, singing had only become a feature recently. Really only since Tony had realized that his soulmate would sing with him.

“You do realize that singing twenty four seven isn’t going to make you meet them any sooner, right?” Bruce said exasperatedly from his spot next to Thor. Tony just stared at him as if saying, ‘Are you dumb? Of course it will.’ He would never actually say that because of the respect he held for Bruce, but the sentiment seemed about the same.

“Logic never works when the person you’re trying to reason with is a complete idiot,” Clint offered sagely. His hands were steepled under his chin to add to the effect. Natasha nodded along, clearly agreeing.

“Natasha! No one asked for your opinion,” Tony shouted again, obviously noticing her motion, “oh, and fuck you too, Bird Brain!”

“It’s too bad Steve is not here to witness this! He would find it humorous, no doubt!” Thor said loudly- man, could that guy project. Ever since he had transferred in on some sort of exchange program with Norway, the table’s volume had raised exponentially. He didn’t even seem like he was trying to be loud ninety percent of the time. He just was! Tony could relate, sort of.

“Please,” snorted Carol as she slammed her tray onto the table next to Tony’s, “you know he would just be disappointed in Tony for cursing.”

Rhodes set his tray down across from hers. He had already started eating his apple, so he couldn’t give his own snarky reply the stage. He just laughed while trying not to choke.

“I feel genuinely attacked right now. Just because I’m the youngest doesn’t mean you guys can treat me like this!” And he was, the youngest, that is. He was a senior, but he was also barely a teenager. It was a miracle that his friends even talked to him: what with the age difference and all. But they did. Unfortunately for them.

“Tony, this morning you called Steve a ‘golden geezer’, I’m pretty sure you can take some teasing,” Bruce said with a sigh.

“Or can you give it, but not take it?” Clint snickered.

“You’re all so rude,” Tony sniped mock irritatedly. He quickly went back to singing, glaring challengingly at any who would try to stop him. He glanced over at Thor, and he dropped the look once he noticed how preoccupied the blond seemed with his cell phone. He hadn’t been before, and Thor also almost never used his phone because he didn’t trust it.

“You texting someone?” Tony questioned with a tip of the head in Thor’s direction.

“Yes! It is a grand occasion that is coming up. My brother is partaking in the same transfer program I am. He will be attending this American high school next semester.”

“You have a brother?” Rhodey asked. Multiple people at the table groaned in irritation at the teen’s ignorance. They all, barring, apparently, one James Rhodes, knew that Thor could go for hours on the subject of his dear brother, Loki.

“I certainly do. Loki is most precious to me. I am surprised you have not heard of him before, but that can be rectified! Loki is my adoptive brother. He is younger than me and still sharper than a whip. I truly miss him,” the large blond trailed off almost sadly. Even those who had already been told all of Thor’s ‘Loki Adventures’ felt sorry for him in that moment. It must totally suck to be so far from someone you’re so emotionally close with.

“And he’s transferring here?” Carol casually slapped Tony’s hand from her tray as she spoke. He just pouted for a second before easily recovering and paying attention to the conversation again.

“Correct! He has chosen to attend with me! This truly is a glorious day. He is flying out next weekend; you should all meet him, friends!” A few groans slipped from lips, but the general consensus was agreement. Thor’s smile widened as he suddenly stood from the table.

“Wonderful, truly! You will love him!” And then he walked off loudly, eyes glued to his phone once more.

“He’s so loud,” Natasha commented casually. Absentmindedly, she twirled her fork in a pile of mashed potatoes that seemed nearly untouched. Some might have said she was distracted, but the table’s occupants knew the truth. Natasha was always paying attention.

“I know!”

“Tony, you literally have no leg to stand on.”

“No room to talk,” Clint added quickly, snorting at his own joke.

“Rude,” Tony muttered mutinously. He peeled the lid off his pudding and slowly sunk a spoon into it. He maintained eye contact with Clint as he scooped one spoonful of the treat into his mouth and licked the metal clean afterwards. Clint snorted again in response.

It was relatively quiet, as quiet as a crowded lunchroom could be, until Bruce spoke up carefully, “are you guys sure about meeting Thor’s brother, Loki?”

“It seems like fun,” Rhodey said with a tone not unlike polite amusement. His shrug just added to the effect. Tony was not convinced by his faked maturity. He hadn’t believed that ever since Rhodey was eleven, and he almost got the both of them arrested for a prank that was his idea! No matter what he protested afterwards.

“I guess it’s decided then,” Carol declared joyfully; her eyes crinkled at the edges. The bell rung across the room not even seconds later. The group jumped to their feet quickly, that may have just been Carol, Tony, and Clint though, the others were much more leisurely with their movements.

“Come on, Carol! Let’s blow some shit up. Oh, and you too Clint.” The two followed behind him, easily keeping up with his excited, but short, strides. The small group made their way to the shop class happily.

Rhodey smiled as they left, “Bruce, are you still going to Advanced Chemistry today?”

“Yeah, even if I do know most of it.” When Bruce glanced back to the table, Natasha was nowhere to be seen. He laughed quickly at her actions. Rhodey noticed, and he laughed, too. They calmly walked towards the lab while talking about Loki. Rhodey wanted to know what he had just agreed to, and Bruce was the best source other than Thor.

After all, he was dating the blond giant.

-

The week passed quickly and mostly uneventfully. (Not including the whole mess with Tony accidentally setting Carol’s long blonde hair on fire. She now sported a cute wavy bob. It totally fit her better than long hair anyways.) And soon it was time to meet the mysterious ‘Loki’.

“Tony, shut up,” Bruce growled from the backseat. He was rubbing his temples harshly. Tony halted in his speech for a second to glance back at him. He frowned but didn’t continue talking.

“Bruce, you made him sulky. You know how annoying he gets when he sulks,” Rhodey groaned exasperatedly. Clint full out laughed from the seat beside Bruce. He earned himself twin glares from the smallest occupants of the luxury car. Bruce’s may have had slightly more sway. Don’t tell Tony. And so, Clint was silent for the rest of the car ride to Thor’s apartment.

By the time Rhodey pulled the wheel to steer the car into a parking space near the doors, Tony had started lightly humming again. With a groan suggesting more relief than probably necessary, Bruce smacked his door open and clambered out.

“Hopefully, Thor will help calm him. Otherwise, he’ll probably end up hulking out.” ‘Hulking out’, Tony had coined the term the first time Bruce had been so irritated that he snapped. He had shown how surprisingly adept he was with insults before exiting the room in a continuation of his fit. Everyone had been shocked, everyone... but Tony, who had simply grinned like he’d won some great prize.

“Hah! If he hulks out, you’ll be the first victim,” Clint sighed happily.

Tony gave a brief glance full of mock (real) disgust, and, with a raised eyebrow, replied, “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

They proceeded to enter Thor’s apartment building trying to kill each other. After a particularly good push, if Tony said so himself, Clint smacked into the side of the elevator with enough force to rock the entire machine. It effectively scared the shit out of both of them. They pretty much stopped fighting when that happened. Rhodey just laughed. And laughed. And laughed. He earned himself quite a few gold medal glares with that.

Soon enough, the doors opened, and they were released from their metallic hell.

“I can’t believe we almost died like that!” Tony screeched, dramatically flinging himself at Clint. Clint caught him with little to no difficulty and nodded his melodramatic agreement.

“What a way to go,” He stage whispered, convincing exactly no one. Rhodey just took it upon himself to laugh some more.

Thor’s door was already open when they got there, Bruce had probably forgotten to close it in his green, hulk rage. The three slipped in with about as much grace as an elephant herd. Clint, who had carried Tony since that point, decided now was the time to put him down. Without any sort of notice, Tony just smacked straight down.

“What the heck, Clint? I thought we bonded over our near death experience!”

“Pah. I never said I cared about it that much,” Clint punctuated his sentiment by sticking out his tongue.

“Why, Clint!! I thought you loved me! How could you be so cruel!!” Tony wilted on the floor even more, ever the (over) actor. He slammed his closed fist on the floor a few times before getting up nonchalantly and looking for Thor and Bruce.

“I’ll never understand you, Tony. Never,” Rhodey snorted from his place on the small brown couch.

Tony blew him a kiss, “love you too, Honey Bear.”

He walked over to the kitchen, hoping that’s where the lovebirds had gone and not somewhere more private (gag).

“Yay! I was right,” he cheered. There was Thor. Right next to Bruce, and ooooo, who is that? A+ Hottie Alert. DAMN. Thor, where have you been hiding that hot piece of ass all this time?

“Friend Tony!” Thor greeted when Bruce just glared at him lightly in silence, “you must meet my brother! This is Loki!”

“Hello, Loki. Lokes. I like it! I’m Tony,” he said excitedly, belatedly offering his hand. Loki just gave it a withering glance.

“Yes, I rather figured that one out myself what with how loud my brother just announced it.”

He was smart, too! Tony might just be drooling. Loki smirked. Tony smirked back. They’re going to be good friends (or more) if his life depended on it.

-

“Loki.”

“Tony.”

“Looookiiiiiii.”

“Toooonnnnyy.”

“Lokes.”

“You incessant creature- yes?”

“Have you want your soulmate yet?”

“No.”

“Alrighty.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes.”

“I’m shocked. For once, you were concise. What is the world coming to,” he deadpanned. Tony just gave him a look from his spot on the other side of Thor’s couch. In a matter of hours, the two hit it off spectacularly. They had already planned future pranks. Which was basically the equivalent of deciding what to name their children. As far as Tony was concerned, Loki had met his soulmate already. And he was prepared to test it.

“We go together,” Tony muttered, not quite singing yet, “better than birds of a feather, you and me.”

Loki hadn’t even looked up from his Instagram feed.

Tony continued, a bit louder, closer to an actual melody, “we change the weather, yeah. I’m feeling heat in December when you’re ‘round me.”

If Loki had been paying attention, he wasn’t doing a good job showing it, so Tony went on, “I’ve been dancing on top of cars and stumbling out of bars. I follow you through the dark, can’t get enough. You’re the medicine and the pain, the tattoo inside my brain. And, baby, you know it’s obvious.”

This time, Loki glanced up sharply. Obviously, he realized what Tony was doing. Or, rather, why he was doing it.

That, however, didn’t deter Tony from delivering the next lines and actually singing them, “I’m a sucker for you. You say the word and I’ll go anywhere blindly.”

He was stopped from singing anymore by Loki pressing their lips together firmly. He could feel an identical smirk on the green eyed teen’s mouth. Honestly, it wasn’t even a smirk at that point, it was a full blown grin.

They sang the last line together, “I’m a sucker for you, yeah.”