Work Text:
previously… Roy learned he wasn’t in Super Smash Bros Brawl, and is about take his rage out on his gf and dog, Lana Del Rey and Odie
As Roy shakes his fist at Lana Del Rey, something curious happens
The tv begins animating and coming to life
Out of the tv, a sexy blue leg emerges…
It’s Zero Suit Samus (Zero Suit Samus is when she isn’t a robot and is hot)!
Zero Suit Samus: ‘Not so fast bucko.’ She uses her laser whip and wraps it around Roy’s wrist
Roy: ’What the sam hill’
Zero Suit Samus flings Roy across the room by his wrist
Roy flies towards the front window, which magically transforms into a black hole (more on that later)
Lana Del Rey: ‘Where did my dear Roy go?’
Zero Suit Samus embraces Lana Del Rey and let’s her rest her sad face on her big boob
Zero Suit Samus: ‘Don’t worry. He is safe, but he won’t harm you any longer’
The tv begins animating and coming to life, again!
All of a sudden, a dark haired young man flops out of the tv. ‘woah-oh-oh’ he says
Lana Del Rey: ‘Who is that?’ She lifts her head from Zero Suit Samus’s boob
Zero Suit Samus: ’Oh, that’s just Pokemon Trainer,’
Pokemon Trainer brushes cyber dust off his clothes
Lana Del Rey: ’That is a stupid name for a human’
Zero Suit Samus: ‘Not as stupid as his real name’
Lana Del Rey: ‘What is your real name?’
‘My name is Doug,’ says Pokemon Trainer (Doug). ‘And I have to tell you ma’am, you have beautiful lips’
Lana Del Rey: ’Doug is such a stupid name, and thank you. Why are you weirdos here anyway?’
Zero Suit Samus: ‘Have a seat darling,’ Zero Suit Samus brushes Lana Del Rey’s shoulder
Lana Del Rey sits down on the sofa and Zero Suit Samus sits on Roy’s La-Z-Boy. Doug sits on the sofa by Lana Del Rey
Zero Suit Samus: ‘We were on the way to Mongolia. There’s a terrible Pokemon threat there’
Doug: ’Our friend Jigglypuff has been cloned. Evil Team Plasma cloned her, and they now control a supersized, evil Jigglypuff!’
Zero Suit Samus: ‘So will you come with us to Mongolia? We can’t rescue you and then just leave you here’
Lana Del Rey stands up, outraged.
Lana Del Rey: ’You barge into my house, do something to my bf, and then expect me to leave with you?’
Zero Suit Samus stands up and embraces Lana Del Rey. Lana Del Rey’s head is resting on Zero Suit Samus’s big boob again
This big boob is making Lana Del Rey feel funny… a kind of feeling she didn’t know exists
Lana Del Rey: ’Alright, I’ll go, but only if my dog Odie can come too.’ Odie barks
to be continued…
