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“What did he do now?”
Seokjin watched as his mom rolled her eyes at his overnight bag that was slung over his shoulder and his car keys clutched in his hand. He ignored her attitude that she usually has whenever he comes over to spend the night, and pressed a quick peck on her cheek before brushing past her into their house.
“The same shit again,” Seokjin said through gritted teeth, throwing his car keys onto the table near the door, roughly taking his shoes off and with the same furious energy, shoving his feet into his usual pair of house slippers, scowling at his boyfriend’s matching pair next to his.
“You’re gonna have to be more specific than that. Did he insult your cooking? Break an ornament? Or was it just a misunderstanding like the last time, or last five times to be exact,” his mother replied with an amused look on her face.
Seokjin narrowed his eyes at his mother.
“Mom, this isn’t funny,” he said before spinning on his heels and storming off towards the kitchen.
“I know it isn’t, baby. I’m sorry,” his mom chided as she half ran behind her son. “Tell, me. What did Namjoon do this time?”
Jin sighed, plopping his bag down onto a stool around the island before pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge. After downing about half of it, his mother peering at him curiously from the other side of the island, he closed the bottle of water, maybe with a bit more force than necessary before leaning heavily against the counter.
“He said that I’m getting wrinkles.”
He heard his mother give something that sounded suspiciously like a snort but then at some point turned into a cough.
“That’s… wow. Namjoon should’ve known better,” his mother managed, looking like she was biting the inside of her lip to keep herself from bursting into laughter.
“What do you mean by that?” Seokjin immediately straightened up. “He should’ve known better than to point it out because I am getting wrinkles? Oh my god, you’re just like him.”
“No, no, no,” his mom quickly waved her hands at her fuming son whose ears were already turning red from anger. “I didn’t mean it like that. You’re not getting wrinkles, baby.”
Seokjin seemed to cool down just a little, his shoulders dropping downwards from fight mode. “Then what did you mean?”
“I meant that Namjoon shouldn’t have lied to you because you aren’t getting wrinkles,” his mother flashed him a smile, blinking innocently.
God, he was surrounded by pathological liars.
“I’m truly alone in this world. I can’t trust anyone.”
“Honey, don’t you think that’s bit of an overreaction? You know you and Namjoon would be back together in a few hours and when I come to wake you up, he’ll be sleeping next to you in bed.”
And that was exactly the thing his mother should not have said. Seokjin felt his ears twitching with anger again.
“Mom, this isn’t like the other times,” Seokjin spat out, hands on his hips now. “This was the last straw. I even took off his promise ring,” he waved his now empty left middle finger at his mom (with his other four fingers to avoid flipping his mom off of course).
“Ah, I see,” his mom said, not sounding thoroughly convinced as her eyes followed Jin’s hand.
“Jesus Christ, why’s dad abroad now? He, at least, would be on my side,” he dropped his hand exasperatedly. His mom sat back down, humour still glinting in her eyes. “I’m making dinner this evening. It’s better to put my anger into that than cussing Namjoon out.”
“Of course, honey,” his mom said before getting up to their wine cabinet as her son aggressively tied an apron around his waist. “Wine would help take the edge off as well.”
Whenever Jin’s angry, he cooks. And when he cooks, it’s the literal definition of cooking up a storm.
Fueled with anger, and two bottles of wine, he and mom had devoured their mini-feast, leaving an obscene amount of left-overs that they decided on saving for the rest of the week... and maybe the week after. But hey, at least it would save his parents from cooking.
After dinner and washing the dishes, he and mom watched a movie, which was really more like Jin sobbing into his mother's lap about Namjoon while his mom consoled him. Which seemed oddly similar to when Seokjin was in high school, crying to his mom about Namjoon not liking him back. And fast-forward eight years, he was still crying about Namjoon but he was his boyfriend that said dumb things all the time that pissed Seokjin off and made him spend the night at his parent's house to avoid saying things he would regret.
Some things never change.
“I don't need to tell you that he loves you,” his mom murmured to him, caressing his hair long after his sobs turned into sniffles. “And you love him.”
Seokjin didn’t reply, he just nodded glumly, wishing that loving Namjoon wasn’t so damn difficult. Or maybe he just needed to stop being difficult? Or maybe Namjoon just needed to stop saying dumb things? He was sure it was the latter. One hundred percent.
“Is everything okay with you guys? You two have been falling out a lot recently.”
Again, he didn’t answer, he wiped the tears streaming down his face.
Three months ago, Seokjin made a decision. Something that would change their relationship forever and he was afraid to go through with it. He knew he was ready for the change, but finding the courage to make it, that was another story. And that’s why he would find himself running off to his parent’s place whenever he and Namjoon had a little bicker to remind himself why he wanted that change in the first place.
“Mom,” Seokjin whispered, staring at the tan-line on his vacant middle finger, a feeling of guilt sinking into his stomach.
“Yea baby?”
Seokjin sighed.
“We’re fine. Really fine,” he mumbled. “I just need to come here sometimes, and... remember.”
His mom hummed, understanding what Seokjin meant. Too many memories of Seokjin and Namjoon filled the rooms of this house, the echoes of their time together reverberating off the walls. It was like a time capsule of their times growing up together, gradually going from playmates to discovering their love for each other.
“Then remember.”
When the tears stopped falling and he could feel his mom beginning to doze off, they said their goodnights before making the dizzy ascent to their rooms.
Those two bottles of wine really did their damage.
Jin’s childhood bedroom wasn’t something he missed. At least, logically he shouldn’t miss it since he was there just as often as his arguments with Namjoon were (roughly once every two weeks). But whenever he stepped into the space and the countless figurines and posters hit him (literally, there was this one Mario plushie that falls on him whenever he pushed the door open a bit too hard), waves of nostalgia will pass through him, and he would find himself craving the simplicities of childhood where boyfriends were thoughts lightyears away and arguments were about chances on the swing at the playground.
But then again, his childhood was Namjoon, so there was no real way to escape him.
With a sigh, Jin quickly stripped himself off his clothes that smelt like a Korean buffet and took a long hot shower, letting the scalding water roll down his skin while the bathroom tiles spun around him. Then he was rummaging through his over-night bag that he packed while simultaneously yelling at Namjoon so he wasn’t sure what the hell he picked up.
And of course, he brought Namjoon’s clothes.
With a swear, Seokjin threw the clothes back into the bag, strongly contemplating wearing his old stuff that was long before the time his shoulders broadened and and two growth spurts prior. So, his boyfriend’s clothes it was.
He slipped on Namjoon’s sweatshirt and Namjoon’s pajama pants (he even packed Namjoon’s underwear, what the fuck) convincing himself that he was comforted from the warmth of the clothes and not from Namjoon’s smell. Maybe be needed another bottle of wine.
He moved the bag into a corner of the room, just in case he tripped on it on his way to bathroom in the middle of the night, and he noticed a familiar box staring up at him. He carefully picked it up, letting his fingers gently glide over its smooth velvet exterior, gingerly opening it to run his thumb over the cool metal of the ring that sat there. It wasn’t anything fancy, just a plain gold band, but yet it was a symbol of Seokjin’s entire future.
The heavy feeling returned to his stomach.
He replaced the box and crawled into his bed that was a bit too small for him, and finally looked at his phone for the first time after arriving at his parent’s house.
Seokjin immediately groaned as he saw all the notifications, a mixture of texts from his friends cursing at him, Namjoon profusely apologizing and countless missed calls and voice mails (who even uses those these days).
With a sigh he ignored the texts from Namjoon and went straight to a more recent one from Jimin.
From, jiminie: hyung im gonna beat the shit out of you
why is namjoon hyung crying about you leaving /again/
YOU PETTY BITCH STOP IGNORING ME AND COLLECT YOUR MAN
He listened to his better judgement and ignored Jimin’s texts. He went to a message from Hoseok.
From, hobi: you cold, heartless son of a bitch. I WILL eat your toes
He then went to a text from Yoongi.
From, yoogi: aren’t you tired??? put the poor guy out of his misery and accept his apology
he’s so sickeningly in love with you and you know it
stop being an asshole
Seokjin frowned at his phone before going to Taehyung’s texts then Jungkook’s.
From, taetae: hyung, why do y’all do this if you’re gonna get back tgt an hour later??
WE. ARE. SICK. AND. TIRED.
From, jk: mom and dad are fighting again
tell them to stop being stupid and get some
Then lastly, he got to Namjoon’s messages (which were about fifty texts).
From, joonie baby: hyung, please come back
we can cuddle and watch cheesy eighties movies
baby please come home, I’m sorry
jnnie please, I didn’t mean what I said
jinnie, answer me baby
Heavy guilt weighed at his stomach- or maybe it was nausea from drinking too much wine.
A lump began forming in his throat as he kept scrolling through the texts, seeing more and more of Namjoon’s apologies and his pleas for him to come back home.
His finger hovered over the call button of Namjoon’s contact, but after a long internal debate, his tiredness won ending with him locking his phone and burying himself deeper down within the covers.
Only after five minutes of his head hitting the pillow, drowsiness creeping up on him slowly, he heard the first noise; a soft tap on his window.
It was only enough to make the blanket of drowsiness recede a little, but after ignoring it, he continued slipping further into sleep.
Then he heard it again, and again. The sound becoming louder and more frequent.
With a groan, he pried himself off his bed and to the window.
“Fuck,” Seokjin exclaimed when he saw a pebble hit the glass, right in front of his face. After cautiously peering down, he saw a familiar lanky body with a shock of light brown hair below- Namjoon, or at least he thought it was Namjoon, he had taken his contacts out earlier.
Seokjin shoved his window open, leaning out but bringing himself back in a bit after realizing his balance wasn’t too great after so many glasses of wine.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Seokjin whispered furiously down, Namjoon’s head perking upwards at the sound of his voice. Again, he couldn’t make out his face but he swore he saw a smile.
“Trying to get my man back,” Namjoon’s familiar drawl came up to meet him. The sound of his voice had even more effect than the wine did, a warmth spreading through his chest and a tingling through his veins. Could’ve been heart burn though, he did eat a huge dinner.
“He doesn’t want you back, goodbye,” Jin said before he made to move back inside.
“No, wait!” Namjoon shouted a bit too loudly into the quiet night.
“Shut up, my mom and all the neighbours are trying to sleep,” Jin hissed.
“You see that’s a lie. The people a few houses down are having a barbecue party and I just spoke to my parents next door. They're watching one of the Transformer movies so naturally, I got the hell out of there as fast as I could.”
Jin hated that he almost smiled at that. He hated Namjoon.
“I have something for you,” came Namjoon’s voice again. Then he saw him lift something vaguely box shaped over his head.
Jin squinted at it, “Is that a tiny coffin? You want to bury our relationship in that?”
“Kim Seokjin, you beautiful yet blind son of a bitch. Put on your glasses,” Namjoon said again.
Jin muttered something about Namjoon’s eyesight being worse than his, but he put on his glasses that rested on his nightstand. After he moved back to his window, his vision now in 4K, he saw Namjoon standing looking a bit too good for eleven at night in a plain t-shirt and a pair of faded blue jeans, his hair looking like he just rolled out of bed but Seokjin swore he could smell the hair product from up there. Oh, and he was holding a boombox over his head.
“Where did you get a working boombox in this century?”
“It doesn’t work,” Namjoon grinned as he balanced the boombox on his head with one hand before pulling his phone out of his back pocket. Seokjin had to cover his face to hide any signs of his heart melting. “Alright,” Namjoon mumbled as he scrolled through his phone for a moment before he found what he was looking for.
Seokjin groaned when the first notes of the song hit him.
“I’m gonna throw myself off this window sill,” Namjoon just raised the volume of the song.
“Come on, I thought Say Anything was your favourite movie?” Namjoon grinned up at him.
“Yea, but this is the song I hear in my sleep paralysis.”
And of course, that cued Namjoon to sing along.
“In your eyes.” Which were probably the only words he knew.
“Shh, you’ll wake my mom,” Jin contemplated throwing a Mario plushie at Namjoon’s head but he couldn’t help the wide grin that came across his face.
“Let me up and I’ll stop being a nuisance.”
“You’re insufferable,” Seokjin groaned before turning away from the window, barely catching when Namjoon replied “But you love me anyway.”
“Playing a sub-par song from the eighties under my window isn’t going to make me take you back,” Seokjin leaned against the doorway of his parent’s front door as he regarded Namjoon who still had that stupid grin on his face.
“I know. That’s why I brought you your favourite flan,” Namjoon waved a paper bag in front of him.
“I hate that you know me so well.”
And that’s how they ended up on the floor of Seokjin’s bedroom, a tangle of legs as they took turns feeding each other crème caramel while they exchanged bad puns about crème caramel.
“I’m sorry,” Namjoon muttered after they ran out of viable puns. “I never meant to say anything that would hurt you. I love you too much for that.”
Seokjin hummed, playing with a stray thread on the leg of Namjoon’s jeans. “I know.”
“Hmm,” Namjoon titled his head as he regarded him with that curious glint he always gets in his eyes. “I think that you weren’t actually mad at what I said. You used that as an excuse to come here.”
Seokjin was grateful for the dimness of the room because he felt his cheeks heating up.
One of the perks (or downsides- depends on situation) of being with someone for almost half your life is that they know you better than you know yourself, and probably has more power over you than a mind reader.
Seokjin shifted uncomfortably under Namjoon’s gaze, “No, well partially. You actually do piss me off and make me want to pull my hair out. But, yes. I did have an ulterior motive.”
Namjoon nodded slowly, not pushing for more details but letting Seokjin knew that he understood and would be there for whenever Jin was ready to talk about it. You see? More power than a mind reader.
“Oh wait,” Namjoon said as if suddenly remembering something. He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out something that made the heavy guilt return to Jin’s stomach. “You know how much it kills me to see you take this off?” Namjoon whispered as he replaced the promise ring onto Jin’s finger, placing a gentle kiss on the back of his hand afterwards.
“I know, baby,” Seokjin muttered in a small voice. “I’m sorry.”
“Then don’t take it off, my love,” Namjoon playfully bumped his forehead against Jin’s. Seokjin couldn’t help but grin, the movement something Namjoon had been doing ever since they were kids. “Or do you just do it for the wild romantic gestures I make to win you back?”
Seokjin rolled his eyes at the last part.
“You remember when we were high school? You would sneak into this room, and we’d make out and talk about shit for the entire night. Then, we’d get so tired that you’d fall asleep here, leaving my parents to find you in my bed in the morning? Or for that one thanksgiving when we were in college, we got so drunk we had sex even though my parents were just rooms away?” Seokjin asked.
“How could I forget?” Namjoon shot his dazzling smile back at him which Seokjin’s heart never failed to flutter at, no matter how many years he and Namjoon spend together. “The memory of your dad walking in while you were riding me will forever be engrained in my memory. I swear to god he still can’t make eye contact with me up till this day.”
Seokjin chuckled, leaning against Namjoon’s shoulder.
“He still loves you though,” Seokjin mumbled sleepily, as Namjoon’s familiar and comfortable warmth seeped into him.
“That’s good, cause he’s going to have to deal with me for a really long time,” Namjoon chuckled.
Seokjin’s body tensed at that, his heavy-lidded eyes snapping wide open. Namjoon sensed Seokjin’s sudden discomfort, his hand resting cautiously on his knee.
“Hey, did I say something wrong?”
“No, no,” Seokjin placed a reassuring hand on his boyfriends. “But, just how long are we talking about?”
“We’ve been together for how long now?” Twelve years, one month and three days, Seokjin immediately thought to himself. Well save the two years they took a break for when Seokjin went to college but that didn’t work out. “What? Twelve years, a month and three days?” Seokjin’s lips quirked up, he was glad he wasn’t the only one marking the happiest days of his life. “Save for those two years we were on break for, but I should count it cause you didn't leave my head once during that time.”
Seokjin snorted, “Yea, Jimin told me about that time you guys dated in high school but it lasted three days cause you couldn’t stop talking about me.”
“We’ve been together longer than most married couples.”
Married.
The word hit Seokjin harder than it should, and he got the feeling of something he would equate to having his insides being yanked out of him. Suddenly, the small velvet box at the bottom of his bag was calling out to him like an incessant ringing in his ear.
“And I highly doubt I could barely function, much less live without you so you’re stuck with me for a while,” Namjoon continued to speak normally as if every word wasn’t making Seokjin’s heart skip a beat in his chest.
Those words shouldn’t be bothering him that much. It was something he was used to Namjoon whispering to him when they were a mess of tangled limbs in the morning or even jokingly when Seokjin got mad at him. But now, back in his childhood bedroom where his unending love for Kim Namjoon all began, and the thoughts of taking a huge step in their relationship plagued his mind, the words suddenly morphed into something different. Something realistic.
Back in college, he knew he and Namjoon would be together for a while. Then when they moved in together after college, he was sure it was going to be a bit more than a while. And then, over the past year when he was sure there was no other person in the world for him other than Kim Namjoon, thoughts of forever starting invading his mind.
The realization that he wanted to take the extra step with Namjoon wasn’t a sudden one. He didn’t wake up one morning thinking to himself that he was ready. Instead, like everything else in their relationship, it was slow and gradual. Then one evening when he was cuddled up with Namjoon, watching cheesy movies from the eighties with questionable morals, he thought to himself, ‘damn, I really want to be with Namjoon forever’. And that was it, he bought the ring the next day but never mustered up the courage to ask him.
Until now. The two of them on the floor of his childhood bedroom which was the site of almost all of their firsts, in the dead of night whispering to each other like they were kids trying not to wake his parents. It was the perfect time and place.
Seokjin untangled their legs and turned to face Namjoon, the other man who was dozing off slightly, perking up at the sudden movement, eyes carefully studying Seokjin’s face.
“Namjoon,” Jin said, holding both of his boyfriend’s hands in his. “Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?”
Namjoon blinked at him, like the answer to that question was obvious enough, “Baby, do you not hear me when I’m gushing about how much I love you? I can’t imagine living without you. Of course, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“No, Namjoon,” Seokjin shook his head, scooting closer to Namjoon until their noses were just a few inches apart. “This isn’t like those other times, an in the moment thing or a joke. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?”
Namjoon gripped Seokjin’s fingers so tight he could feel both their rings pressing into his skin. “Kim Seokjin, a life without you is one not worth living. Yes, I want to wake up to you every morning. Yes, I want to be there with you through the good and bad times, be there to wipe your tears but also be there to make you laugh. Yes, I want to be there with you so we can go through every stage in life together. Yes, I want to grow old with you. And yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, you severely dense beautiful man that I don’t deserve.”
And that was all Jin needed to hear.
He ripped his hands out of Namjoon’s and quickly got up.
“Hyung?” Namjoon asked, worry seeping back into his voice, but Seokjin walked straight to his bag that was still lying on the floor where he had left it earlier. After rummaging through it, he pulled out the black velvet box and sat back down right in front of Namjoon. Namjoon’s eyes widened when he saw what was in Seokjin’s grip.
“Kim Namjoon,” Seokjin said, willing his voice to sound steady, the fuzziness from the alcohol leaving him completely as his heart began pumping blood through his arteries at a pace that probably wasn’t healthy. He opened the box between them, Namjoon’s mouth going agape before meeting Seokjin’s gaze.
He felt like that moment was suspended in time and all his senses became heightened. He noted every inhale and exhale Namjoon took, he committed the look in his eyes and the exact shade of dark brown it was in the dim lighting of the room,and even the sound of the cicadas chirping outside to memory.
“Would you marry me?” Seokjin said the words like he was exhaling. He had been rolling the words around in his head for months now, a weight lifted off him as his body was relieved to finally get them out. It didn’t come as easy as saying ‘I love you’ to Namjoon does, but it was a close second.
He saw Namjoon’s eyes beginning to glisten under the moonlight streaming through the window, and Seokjin could feel the backs of his eyes beginning to prickle as well, “Should it even be a question? Yes, a million times, yes.”
With a grin that was probably borderline maniacal- Namjoon didn’t complain- he slid the simple four carat gold band off Namjoon’s middle finger, the one he had spent weeks saving up to buy back when he was a broke college student that was stupidly in love, and slid on the ridiculously expensive one onto his now fiancé’s ring finger, that he bought as a relatively successful adult that was still stupidly in love.
Then they kissed, their tears mixing together as they giggled giddily into each other’s mouths, a bit too similar to the time when they first said ‘I love you’ the summer before Seokjin went off to college, right in that room.
Seokjin didn’t know how long they stayed like that, entangled in each other’s embrace on his tiny bed, too tired to do anything but press lazy kisses against each other's lips while whispering ‘I love you’ every now and then because they couldn’t say it enough times. It was only when the horizon began lightening was when the drowsiness began creeping up on Seokjin.
“Hyung?” Namjoon mumbled into Seokjin’s hair.
“Hmm?” Seokjin hummed sleepily in response. The warmth from Namjoon’s chest was too comforting not to doze off.
“I was kind of pissed when you proposed, not gonna lie,” Seokjin was suddenly awake, he leaned back just a few centimetres too look at Namjoon, his brows furrowed in confusion and a feeling of dread sneaking up his spine as. “I really wanted to propose first. I had this entire thing planned out.”
Seokjin rolled his eyes and settled back onto his fiancé’s chest.
“You said the same thing when I asked you to be my boyfriend, and when I first said ‘I love you’.”
“If it weren’t for you, we’d still be circling around each other,” Seokjin heard the smile in Namjoon’s voice and he didn’t need to look up to see the sparkle of humour in his eyes either.
“What would you do without me?”
Namjoon tightened his arms around him and Seokjin let out a blissful sigh. There was no place in the world he’d rather be than in Namjoon’s arms.
“God, I don’t even want to think about it.”
Seokjin smiled softly as he let sleep drag him under. Right before he slipped all the way into unconsciousness, he swore he heard his door shut quietly.